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Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 251
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When You Left Page 11 of 14    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)
Mom died.
Then they cleared out the house
All the memories
Put my toys in the trash
Never let me go back
I rescued a few things
That night I was told to pack
We knew nothing before
Back then they didn't discuss
Death with us
We were only children
To be sheltered
But sheltered wasn't enough
We needed love
So who would take us
Upstanding the Pillar did
He defiled me and you skid
They compared us
Did their damage
When the truth be told
I was abandoned
Back to a drunken Dad
He left when Momma died
They never let him cry
Scalded him for having grief
Didn't want two
But they kept you
The thing is whay really hurt
Was you stayed
You were the last person that left
Left me alone
after Mother's death
Dad left for the bottle
Auntie left for her things
Uncle left because of the truth
And you blame it on your youth
But it was you
You were the last one to
Abandon me
And you've done it again
Like you've done it before
Couldn't even forgive
When my daughter has cancer
I need to say
Good bye
Forever more
You were the last one
To slam that door.
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 252
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When You Left
Posted: 4/6/2017 1:26:14 PM
I know you were used
like an indentured servant
cleaned the house top to bottom
babysitting so she could be a
socialite go out at night

You smothered her
Did her chores
Whatever she said
Went straight to your head

You became her
That's when you truly left
You were never you

Not the person I remembered
Who knew how to play and defend me
Who stuck with me thick and thin
Who was not just my sis but my friend

You worshiped her
That's when you truly left
You were never you

Not the friend to the bitter end
Who knew how to take a stand
Who cheered for me when I was right
Who had my back and held my hand

She changed you
That's when you truly left
You were never you
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 253
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When You Left
Posted: 4/7/2017 10:29:14 PM
Time is close now
Vickie calls
She said to come visit you then

I have two kids home
With chicken pocks
I' have been wearing thin

I didn't go
Didn't know
Her call was a fair warning

The next morn
You were gone
I stood there sobbing
I should have gone

So much going on
I didn't know
That was the last time
I should go

The last call to be at your side
The last time I could
Have said Good Bye

"Ode to Annie"
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 254
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When You Left
Posted: 4/8/2017 8:56:38 AM
~ War~ or Deployed

Reform you inform you
Your dumb down now enough now
Your in uniform now
Where is your freedom when you

Let the babies burn?
What is it their turn?
Enough have turned their heads
They have crossed a line

Let us truly look at this
This is the end of it
We don't put up with it
This chemical war is done

America will take the win
And we will put and end
To all of your victims
Pain No more Time Remains

Listen to our last words
We will not see Another
Innocence die

How many thousand? not one more
This time this is war.
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 255
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When You Left
Posted: 4/8/2017 5:02:46 PM
You've been gone for days now
And you'll be coming back
You've been gone for days now
But you'll be coming back
When you've lost at the track
You'll be coming back
For a place to hang you hat

When you left
I laid down the law
I'm not doing this
Doing this no more

When you left
You said I'm going anyway
I'm gonna do this
Don't care what you say

You've been gone for days now
And you'll be coming back
When your broke down and out
For a place to take a nap

You've been gone for days now
I know your coming back
When you lose again there at the track
Oh you'll be coming back

When you left
I said this is the last straw
I can't take it any more
Blow it all you're left raw

When you left
You said I'm gonna win
I just shake my head now
Addictions never end

You've been gone for days now
And you'll be coming back
You've been gone for days now
But you'll be coming back
When you've lost at the track
You'll be coming back
For a place to hang you hat
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 256
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When You Left
Posted: 4/9/2017 2:38:15 PM
When you left, all I felt was relief
Nagging hagging at me
After all day being on my feet
I just wanted some peace

When you left
I thanked God it's over
Like he cast a demon out
That would rant and shout

Bragging staggering at me
Day after day on the screen
I just wanted an escape
You were up in my face

Dragging others in it
That had no dog in it
Just to create your drama
You lust after trauma

Self absorbed Biteh
You just couldn't quit it
You left in a huff and bitter
But Thank God you left quick

When you left, all I felt was relief
Hagging Jabbering Gossip
Day after day with your snit
It was so hard to put up with

When you left it was still
All about you getting the nod
Somehow it ended and
You left and I applauded

Now I'm back home
Doing better
Feeling my feelings
Expressing in my letters

Now I'm here, Here again
Where I started what was mine.
and when you left
It was divine

Thank God.
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 257
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When You Left
Posted: 4/10/2017 2:32:06 PM
When you left it was because I put your bags on the stoop
Neatly of course and with respect. But you f7cked that B7tch
I caught you red handed so no this is what you got that is left.
When you left I put that shit on the stairs I called your friend
That's the end I didn't want to see your face. Come get this shit
I quit I'm done with this, get this crap or it's it's the trash on Tuesday.

When you left it was because I piled your precious things into a box
Tough knocks but that's it. I saw you sucking her tits, that was enough
You F&ck enough of a show. You gotta go.
When you left I put those clothes in a bag your dirty laundry went with
You too. Think I was washing your filthy cum stains while you were
Cheater You scum bag Fake.
When you left. I hated you. I hated every thing I ever saw. I was livid
Couldn't forgive it You F&Ck that filthy b&tch on my bedroom floor.
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 258
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When You Left
Posted: 4/11/2017 7:39:17 AM

"27 At that instant, after Judas had taken the bread, Satan entered him. Jesus then said, 'What you are going to do, do quickly.'"

He left, the others not knowing
what he set out to do
Did he wonder? Why me?
I was chosen? When I was his beloved too?

To be gone now to do
what needed to be done
To complete the prophecy
Why me?
So he left into the night
To betray with a kiss
To end in an abyss
With frozen ice and lakes
For eternity
But what did he miss
Satan had entered him
Poor Judas could not win
So he left into the night
To find the ransom
That sold his soul
As the story goes
Thirty pieces once owned
He threw them to the floor
In pain and misery
Why did Jesus let
Satan enter me?
He hung himself from a tree.
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 259
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When You Left
Posted: 4/11/2017 10:14:50 AM
Reference for the above poem "Judas" . Scripture: "The Last Supper" #34 and 35 are my favorite verses for this Lenten season

READING: John 13:21-35

21 Having said this, Jesus was deeply disturbed and declared, 'In all truth I tell you, one of you is going to betray me.'

22 The disciples looked at each other, wondering whom he meant.

23 The disciple Jesus loved was reclining next to Jesus;

24 Simon Peter signed to him and said, 'Ask who it is he means,'

25 so leaning back close to Jesus' chest he said, 'Who is it, Lord?'

26 Jesus answered, 'It is the one to whom I give the piece of bread that I dip in the dish.' And when he had dipped the piece of bread he gave it to Judas son of Simon Iscariot.

27 At that instant, after Judas had taken the bread, Satan entered him. Jesus then said, 'What you are going to do, do quickly.'

28 None of the others at table understood why he said this.

29 Since Judas had charge of the common fund, some of them thought Jesus was telling him, 'Buy what we need for the festival,' or telling him to give something to the poor.

30 As soon as Judas had taken the piece of bread he went out. It was night.

31 When he had gone, Jesus said: Now has the Son of man been glorified, and in him God has been glorified.

32 If God has been glorified in him, God will in turn glorify him in himself, and will glorify him very soon.

33 Little children, I shall be with you only a little longer. You will look for me, and, as I told the Jews, where I am going, you cannot come.

34 I give you a new commandment: love one another; you must love one another just as I have loved you.

35 It is by your love for one another, that everyone will recognize you as my disciples.
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 260
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When You Left
Posted: 4/19/2017 4:32:30 PM
When you left. I felt relief
It was like my secrets died with you
But they didn't hide
They still lived inside me
Still burden my soul
Even though now I am old
Still causing conflict
The things that you did

Now it's like you reach from
The grave to control me again
It never ends that intrusion
Never became an illusion
Because it was true
What I felt about you
The things I said
Meant nothing when you
were dead.

When you died, I felt guilty
Feeling like it was over
Like I could whisper final
Thoughts into your ears and
Although you lay in that casket
I said what I always wanted to say
And then all my pain went away
It was like electricity running over me
To utter the words that I never
Could say. I whispered them
In your ear that day
It helped the pain
Fade away

When you left. I felt relief
I felt like the abuse had an ending
You slept their in silence. breathless
I couldn't pray there pretending
That I knew it was the last time

I would never hold your hand again
I was there to the end
For your final Amen.
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 261
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When You Left ~ Jealousy
Posted: 4/20/2017 7:51:10 PM
Leave me alone. Slammed up against the wall
Leave me get gone. Trash bags in tow
Leave now I'm calling for help get out
Leave me alone. Neighbors hear us shout

Done. I'm done with you. Packing his shirt
I've been gone before you decided to ask me to go
I've let you win every fight stayed up with you
All night I rocked you in my arms and held you close

Now I need an alibi. I tried to show you I don't cheat
Yet your upset with every one that I look at or meet
You got a problem and it's name is jealousy
I'm done with your accusations it insults my integrity

Your taking numbers, hiding your phone
Taking a long time to get your shit done
You're acting suspicious and twist it on me
You manipulate every fight until you have won

You're smothering me you don't see you're
Demanding that I do what you do or you punish me
You give me a cold shoulder and a cold shower too
You think that the sex isn't the way it used to be

Then you rant and you cry cause you let yourself go
I try to encourage you and give you strength and hope
You just feel rejected and I feel neglected. It's over
I've been planning to leave you I can't even cope

Leave me alone I'm backed into a corner
Leave me get gone. Piled your boxes in the hall
Just get out now there is no need for fighting
I know they're lined up get back to them all.
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 262
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When You Left ~ Dog in the Race
Posted: 4/26/2017 2:32:17 PM
You had a dog in the race
Yet you lied
Lied to my face
Pretending to see my side

All the while
An agenda to hide
Practiced with pride
When and how to attack
You sharpened the knife
The blade for my back

You had a bet in that pool
Yet you lost
Playing by your rules
Pretending to be my friend

All the while
You were her ally
Conning and contrived
Where and why your assault
You opened up old wounds
Poured in the salt

Yes, it did sting
You accomplished your chore
You broke me down
Evened your score

Did it make you feel good?

Did you get what you wanted?
Or do your memories
Of how you treated me
Sometimes leave you haunted?

By how malicious you become
No dog in the race
But look at what you have done.

Lied to my face
And nobody won.
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 263
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When You Stayed~ Drama
Posted: 4/29/2017 9:52:36 AM
If you have drama with a man
You are allowing it

Look my friend
Deep inside because there it is
Someone who needs your love
He doesn't get it

Because he can't bring you drama
And you need to be fed

You are his baby mama
Yeah we know you had dreams
But all of your's are nightmares
We can hear you scream

Why do you love this drama?
You must I trust
Look my child
Look around you. yes I think you must

Someone that needs your time
Yet he doesn't want it
Because he just wants your lines
And designs he has that fit

yeah he trained you good
you eat his shit for dinner
yeah he knocked you down
you should be thinner

you should be pretty
prettier like her
the one he blatantly stares at
when he boldly starts to flirt

You should be smarter
He gets away with the tag
Yes he know he owns you
He's got you in the bag

Why did you still love him
When he started this dance?
It is unforgivable yet you
Gave him that second chance

If you have chaos
To much trouble with this man
Know you are allowing it and
Look at that my friend

Look deep inside don't hide from
Someone who wants to love you
You will never find it
Because you don't want to

Because you love the drama
You won't tell him you're through
Yes it's negative attention
But any attention is...

any attention is
Good enough for you.
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 264
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When You Stayed~ Sympathy Symptoms
Posted: 4/29/2017 9:58:01 AM
six friends and you
that was all that you needed
poofff there I go
you thought you had succeeded

yet here I am
and I have more to retrieve
come now old lady
what's up your sleeve?

only one real friend
she looks in the mirror
she can't even defend
now she sees you clearer

don't worry or fret
the day will come
you will forget
it won't be me

but some one

yes, pity you get
go girl announce it
it was already apparent
that that is what you wanted
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 265
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When I Left
Posted: 5/11/2017 10:21:59 AM
Cast doubt
Making shade
That's what you're about
You never escape
It's always the same
You have to be right
So you fight
Closed mind
Shaking fear
You can't leave behind
You never retreat
It's always the same
Nothing else to find
You're to late
The mask is off
You scoff
I don't care
You do
You have to find
Someone else but...
No one feeds you
Like I do
You know it
You dismiss me
But you want it
You still watch
You're waiting for
An apology
That will never come
I'm not sorry
And never will be
But you should
Because you lost me
Joined: 4/27/2017
Msg: 266
When I Left
Posted: 5/26/2017 9:07:09 AM
heart felt writes-

forgiveness is the hardest gift to give
especially of ourselves

Joined: 10/5/2016
Msg: 267
When I Left
Posted: 5/30/2017 10:20:00 PM
Awesome as usual. I pop back to see if you're still writing Penny

Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 268
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When I Left
Posted: 5/31/2017 7:37:26 AM
Thank you Meow and Blue for your kind compliments.
I have a poem in my head.. but it's not flowing yet
It will. I'm going to work in the garden today and I keep a pen and pad on the porch steps because
the garden inspires me.
It makes me happy to know that other's appreciate my work here.
Thank you for taking the time to comment.
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 269
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Tried to Die
Posted: 6/2/2017 3:26:13 PM
I brought you out of darkness when he died
You looked dead inside
They put you under lock and key
Your grief made them question your sanity.
Everyday I went to see you
Not one day did I miss
I made you brush your hair
And remember his gentle kiss
I made you brush your hair

I brought you out away from a demon
He entered your soul
Thev put you into a hospital to heal from him
Every day I went to see you
Not one day did I miss
I made you brush your hair
And remember you had reasons to live
I made you brush your hair

He was dead and you wanted death
You cried out and attempted to go
I had to bring you courage and a
Drink that was half full
Every day I went to see you
Not one day did I miss
I made you brush your hair
And forgave your death wish
I made you brush your hair
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 270
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Breaking up is Hard to Do
Posted: 6/3/2017 5:05:39 AM
Keep calling back
I already drew the line
You sit on my front porch
and wait for my time
I take the long way home
I'm avoiding you
I've got a lot to think about
I don't know if it includes you...
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 271
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Breaking up is Hard to Do ~ Anymore
Posted: 6/3/2017 10:53:52 AM
You can't just come to the door
We don't got it like that
Not anymore
I took back my key
Now I told you first call me
You can't just come back now
And fluff over what happened
Not anymore
I'm remembering
You can't bring what you bring
Don't be promising me anything
Not anymore
You can't just come to the door
It was hard for me too
Not to just let you in
And pretend nothing happened
I'd rather just stay friends
I could be your friend to the end
But I'll never belong to you
That wasn't what we first planned to do
You can't just come to the door
We don't got it like that
Not anymore.
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 272
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Posted: 6/23/2017 9:09:54 PM
All the numbers are skewed
I can't fall asleep at night
I've got no place to put my head
But on a desk with bills I can't pay
No matter were I lay
I work hard all day
To make everyone happy
Now I can't fall asleep for a wink
Those bills won't get paid cause
I think.
Yet all the numbers all wrong
I kept all of my receipts
I have a ledger that balanced
But I'm still in the hole knee deep
So I can't get any sleep

I try but I'm just writing songs
Some I know you have never heard
Some have words without songs
Some are songs I've hummed
My whole life long.

Now where I thought I'd hang my hat
Where I thought my life would be long
I feel like life would be better yet
If I had long been gone.
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 273
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When You Left ~ The Children
Posted: 6/27/2017 10:39:43 AM
While you were arguing for money and things
Your children were scrambling on the floor
Looking for crumbs of love yet nothing there
Was left over you two could not get over yourselves

So what if you give up us and may lose some friends
Divided by your own transgressions against each other
Yet innocent bystanders get drawn in and who will
Wear the bigger grin in the end, not the children

For they are truly the innocent bystanders standing by
Watching your drama unfold watching Momma get cold
Daddy be scolded and molded and used then gone
They lose the intangible yet you fools fight over things

There, there is nothing that gives them the joy that
Your love once brought, think you ought back to
Those days or moments of their conception the affection
The way it was when you planned this family

Now it's all about you and for her it's all about her
And what you have lost is in the children's laughter
You don't hear that any more, not much above your
Screaming for something that you want and you want

Yet nothing was ever enough though you vowed with words
Through sickness and health, poverty and wealth heard
In the end it didn't mean much what was love was rough
And those children that were part of your dreams now

Bartered for like things like presents taken back returned
They are stifled there where there was once no cares
They wear your drama and strife, unhappy wife.
Unhappy life.
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 274
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A Veteran's Suicide
Posted: 7/7/2017 4:31:40 PM
It is nothing short of torture
My only motivation for waking
You would not have to bury me
Logically I think my growing misery
Will drag you down

I love you
I can not do this to you
Your world is better
Without me in it

Suffering quietly
I am still here for you
But not more than a prop
To love, I forgot
Let me end this.


I have been gone for a long time
My body is a cage for pain
No medicine helps
All day everyday unceasing
Impossible to laugh or cry

No pass time soothes me
No songs of life bring me joy
Now to sleep forever
May be the most merciful thing
I can not come back
From somethings that have happened
To me, I am a lost boy

They left me in this eternal
So may I chose mine?
Destined to die.
Please do not cry
I need to go
It may hurt you for awhile
But I see you moving on
A brighter day without me


I can not be abandoned again
The host of illness consuming me
Then left behind
Subjected and being misunderstood
Noting now
I am useless, no good
Hopeless mind

When I was in emergency
That was when I left me
No control over medicines
Young they burnt my mind
Now cognitively
I struggle inside
To live or to die

I'm over the edge
I have no place to stand
No where to put this agony
But in constant memory
No way to make it end

You did dishonor me
I came home dead
Injuries to my head
Deployed to save lives

Futile destruction to creation
Ordinary life can never be mine
Outrage against my truth
They have silenced me

Yet the truth lives in me
And it will not die
Until you bury me
The shrapnel's of war still
reside in me
A part of me
Growing like a cancer
So now I find the answer

Where is my reprieve?
Somewhere between life and death
I am branded by you
I was labeled
and my spirit stolen
Called a hero yet broken

So let me abandon me
Let me go
Better off dead instead
I find no hope
So lost I look for mercy

Mercy me..

Kill me with no more pain
I will have no more nightmares
I will have no more fears
I will have peace
No more tears.

RIP Anthony
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 275
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Morning Prayer or "Song Birds"
Posted: 7/10/2017 7:00:50 AM
The birds wake me up
There, sweet song in the air
I lay there and think
Broken dreams end
Yet I do not care

To the days I celebrate
The prayers said
Thanking God for another
I face the day
Lord I do repent

There were days I let go
Let them be wasted
Forgot about love
Bitterly tasted

Anger consumed me
Alcohol ruled me
Anxiety fooled me
Fear made me flee

The world was against me
Because I couldn't see

Then I found you
In sweet songs of the birds
You were waking me
Awake there I heard

Realized your glory and
This is not the end
I have more to my story
With nothing left to defend

I am yours now
Sweet Lord, my friend

So praise the day
I am now counting
For I am old now
I don't take them for granted
In a blink of an eye
It could all be ended

I don't want things
Or drama surmounting
I don't want hate
I can truly be free

Now I accept
My responsibility
My aim is straight and
It is not too late

I want my true love
I want it in my hands
I want to create
What I understand

Not fighting anymore
To be understood
For my true love does
Guide me to be good

Sometimes to do what I want
Sometimes to do what I should

Though I sort out my troubles
There laying in my bed
The ones that ache in my bones
The ones that dance in my head

None to be shared
None to be doubled
None to be a burden
To bare upon my yoke

For I cling to him, happy
To words that you wrote
Yes, scriptures have saved me
With words that you spoke

Yes, I praise the Savior
Once I was lost
Went my own way
Then paid a cost

The price was enough
The price of all that was gone
The price of my soul
Restored with their sweet songs

I can not undo
The things that I did
Times I offended the truth
Lost in the dark
When the light was
Shed by you

The regret is founded
The things I can not undo
But now I have guidance
Because I love you

Yes, I have been changed
Accepting life on life's terms
Accepting you as my savior
I carry no burdens

Today I just listen
Rejoice in the sound
Another day dawning
And I have been found.

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