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 AUTHOR
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 51
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CakePage 3 of 12    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)
Cake
you never had to struggle
you meet no one there
you can not care
because all that means
nothing to you
no kindness

you tell your lies
and you eat
cake is your distraction
it looks bad on you
that's why
he never tried
to open your thighs
said no for years
but you had no struggles
you served him well
but you never tell
the truth

You choke on your cake
you try to relate
but no
you will never know
having no kindness
it's all a game
you polish your name
but I see through you

I don't wonder I know
into the dark dream
you're gone
you can not awake
or give up your cake

I don't pretend I know
into the dark dream
you're gone
you can only take
keep eating your cake

I tried exposed the lie
you withdrew
discarded me too
that protects you
like your cake

he was wishing for death
it's no mistake
you rallied the rest
taking his best

you baked that cake
That's all that you ate
and now it's on you
I can see through you

you are hideous there
but no one knows how
Discarding his love
you graze like a cow

You judged him rare
bet on your vows
he tossed you out
Where are you now?

Eating that cake
make no mistake
you signed on the dot
he blew up your spot

so bake another
move straight away
you've got your cake
at least for today.
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 52
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History
Gone
Posted: 4/24/2016 11:02:34 AM
Sunday, April 24, 2016. I just wrote this on my blogspot:


Gone
your already gone
long gone like Lucifer
falling
to oppose the age
He saw you standing
on your stage
He led your hands
and the symbols
of his fame
He was there through
Out and On
without saying
his name

your already gone
lone gone like a star
dwindling into
nothingness
you kill yourself
pending oblivion

Read and record your
feelings here
Don't hide in fear
you know no love
Everyone deserves
a second choice
This gift is already yours
Use your voice.

but your gone
Gone like the sorrow
the undermines you
Gone like the hovel
your hiding in
Gone like the light
from your inner soul
Gone and I am sorry
I am getting old
Gone and I still love
you. It's true.

your already gone
long gone like Lucifer
falling
to oppose the age
He saw you standing
on your stage
He led your hands
and the symbols
of his fame
He was there through
Out and On
without saying
his name
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 53
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History
Id
Posted: 4/24/2016 2:42:50 PM
Sunday, April 24, 2016

Id


You rip at the last thread
Of what you do instead
Of keeping promises to
Men already dead

We are a nation free
Apart from distant oceans
We span a second on the
Clock of the divine.

Spreading fear by any means
Of what you believe today
Is it a reality shattered
Hopes of yesterdays.

I read the headlines
I know what weighs on my mind
I read the good book
I know why my spirit flies

You bore down the last elements
You tricked me with a shiny eye
Spending money I don't have
Please cut me a piece of pie

I stagger for a meaning for existence
Did we really do what we just did?
Don't complicate your relations
The world is already owned by your
Id
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 54
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History
Vie
Posted: 4/24/2016 3:20:15 PM
Vie
With your messianic chore
You come on like a bore
A little bit hidden and shy

With your vehement choice
You stifled a voice
A bird whispers in your ear

Vie vie to attempt what you will
I need no courage to love
I am your obedient drone
Love me or leave me alone

with your definite cost
You pack up the losses
and reign in your winnings

You treasure what's there
And escape by a hair
Her wrath is your release now

Vie compete to make your soul complete
I need no courage to love
I am your servant forever
Give me from now until never

You bleed the color of the sun
You stone the innocent
Charm them there under their skirt

You freak in need of pain
I will discourage you again
your plight seven times seven

You will fall then from grace
Wipe the egg white from your face
Finish yourself for the heavens

Vie vie to attempt what you will
I need no courage to love
I am your obedient drone
Love me or leave me alone
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 55
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History
Done
Posted: 4/29/2016 1:47:20 PM
I am done
here is the message
you may never be aware
but I care
I am done
I don't agree
You don't own me
Physically
Have at it
But you won't touch
my soul
You can insult my
integrity
my morality
create a slave in me
Use me
Again and again
But now you know
My Master
I am done
I am no longer weak
I am good
I'll do what I do
Whatever it takes
Make no mistake
I am done

You never had
What I need
You meditate on
Not a thing
Your dark energy
just fades
to your grave

I have the resting place
Where I never see
your ugly face
I connect in the heart
you can't tear me apart
You've got nothing
Not one thing
on me

Take my ego
Take it all day
I am safe
I'm straight now
Take your bow
because
there is no one
I am done.
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 56
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History
Gifts
Posted: 4/29/2016 10:31:10 PM
None of your gifts were free
and you were attached to my poverty
It gave you an excuse to lord over me
Making you grand
You held out your hand
But there was a price to pay
Because I was in your way

Giving that smirk for my dreams
You handed me backward schemes
It gave you permission to leave
Taking your stand
But there was motive there
You didn't care

You're fake
you take
you give
you make
yourself feel superior

You're weak
you take
you need
you shake
to make me inferior

None of your gifts were free
You gave then you scolded me
You got in my face
Wanted to take my place
Trying to hide your jealousy
You took more than you gave to me

I was the one who was named
I was the one who was shamed
I was the one who was lost
and your gifts always came with a cost

Then blatant you lied
While I cried
Waiting for me to die
You wanted my life

Mocking me but you gave
Holding onto his grave
You wrote a new will
and holding me still
Your gifts were never for free
They were about you
never me.

You're fake
you take
you give
you make
yourself feel superior

You're weak
you take
you need
you shake
to make me inferior

Your gifts were toxic indeed
They were about your needs
You showed off as if you were doting
Tallied it all and voting
But I could never win
You stop where I begin

Your gifts were never for free
You made your opinion known
Always casting your doubt
While holding your hand out
Making your alms show
I was just your pawn

Your gifts were never for free
They were about you
never me.
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 57
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History
Nothing
Posted: 5/1/2016 9:21:33 AM
Nothing
I was already doing everything right
Letter of the law
I complied

The authorities were pleased
I was a model prisoner
of the page

Then you set the stage

then you lied
or perhaps you really did
Believe the things
you said about me
Imagined in your
Fantasy
not mine

You had a scholars wit
You asked and it was granted
Everything you wanted
Manipulated for it

You got it
You made sure
And for me
You looked for a cure

Always sitting in the seat
Where you thought you
Could judge me

It was you my fiend
Crippled in your
Fantasy
It wasn't about me

But you still chose
That power to take
My precious daughter
and you gave her
While saying you
were saving her

From Me? Really?
You beast
You stole my dreams
You pig
Your gluttony
wasn't about me

But you always washed
your dishes and then
complained about
washing mine

You heaped your scorn
Upon my plate
Created the situation
That sealed my fate

In your mirror you
See the cracks the
Wearing away of your
face
your farce
your finding
What's wrong with me.

What's wrong with me?
Nothing.
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 58
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History
Throne
Posted: 5/1/2016 9:22:36 AM
Throne


I gave up my seat
The one saved for me
I left the room
Left the hall

That seat was mine
I gave up my seat
and my Divine
I am small

You see the chair it has your name
You are welcome here
You have your fame
Your cloak of anger
Your mud on your feet
You can not deny
You're in defeat

The signal sound
You know not where
You'd investigate
but you do not care

For your throne is clean
Your shoes are polished
You have one
Their sins abolished

Minds controlled in a
subliminal film
Your seat is waiting
You'll be visiting with him

A Priest, a clown with a frown
A Widow, a rapist and a theif.
They can not vow to be your
foe or be your very best friend

But just for now
I will sit down
and respectfully
watch the show

You will be there
so precarious
and sitting on your throne.
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 59
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History
Demon
Posted: 5/4/2016 11:36:55 AM

Demon you possess me
and I don't know you
Your light illuminates
Hiding more than

Ever was in darkness

You came and seduced me
Not a subtle serpent
You came bold and
Woke my strange desire

Demon you owned me
and I owe you nothing
You;re a beacon to
behold a fire

in the light
Illuminate me
in the light
I can not see
your shadow

Demon I long to be
Just like you
I used to worship
no one

and then my Demon
You stole my heart
Tore me apart
and broken down

I fell

You led me and wrote
My vote so small
I believed you
and gave you my all

My Demon idolize me
Consistent distraction
You adore no one
but me

Watch me fall

I would undergo the pain
Buy the insane
Relate to the inane
To look just like you

You laugh in my face
Without leaving a trace
I can not stay focused
I am lost at this pace

You consumed my soul
The inner being I held
The spirit reduced me
Key phrases seducing

I felt the urgency
I had the emergency
I was lost on your train
Writhing in the pain

A danger to myself
Obsessed self admiration
In these last days
I have scalded a generation

Social media reminds me
Start a new trend
Before I read the last page
Before the book ends

Demon I love you
You shield me from truth
You left me blistered
But you kissed it

You made me well
That selfish strain
Which first separated me
From His reign

Idolatry of me
My demon believes
The danger looks fun
But I have become
Undone.
 ScentedLubriderm
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 60
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History
Demon
Posted: 5/4/2016 8:57:38 PM
Cake

I want some poundcake!

Now!
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 61
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History
Demon
Posted: 5/5/2016 6:57:34 AM
I like when someone posts a reply. Cake in the poem refers to money too and it has frosting of course! ;)
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 62
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History
Listen
Posted: 5/5/2016 10:02:39 AM
on my blogspot today.. 12:34 Thursday 5/5/2016




They didn't listen to me but
One who held a prophecy
in my gut
it wasn't just luck
that gave me that take
and you maybe want to deny
your true powers because
your motives are not from within
I've been here awhile
and I would like to tell you
But I don't even know where to begin
and Some times I try
To give a good reason why..
But you never listen.


You see the collective
You browse the catalogs
You plan your long trips down the coast
You have your ice cream
and your American dream
But what if that's not what your worth?

Your mission here is to
merely exist in time
I find that troubling when I realize
Mine
What were my true gifts?

Oh they summed me up
Said I could type really fast
but no one listened to the voice
Or gave me much choice.

I was deemed crazy
Lost and a liar
but the world that I see is
On another kind of wire
It wasn't something
You could evaluate
but a secret was kept

I learned how to be discreet
I learned to lack passion
I learned to obey
I learned to walk like a lady
Of grace and to survey
On a standard that was never mine

They all claimed it was divine

A divinity didn't come to me
I just knew what would happen next
I saw the thunder storm
and the children regretting
but the towers weren't even built yet

I saw the Cold war end
had my speculations then
but not a person would listen

I was expanding my mind
and they were all drugging me
They handed the gauntlet to
An abuse that would know
That one day I would become
A number

And you just place it's worth
On a symbol in search of
Stats the will cook up your books

But you did't hear
When I asked for your ear
You never heard a word

You were thinking of something else
Yes, just looking at me
I tried to tell you
A thousand times
What happened to me
and you create a strange reality
That is nothing of what I was
given

But you never listened

I blacked out with booze
Shot drugs in my arms
While my friends died
I came out alive
So I saw a lot
and I lived through it all
With my guide at me side
and some perilous falls


But I didn't Alter
When I tried to be me
You created the mind set
To suit your own needs

And me, I tried
I tried to tell you
I saw the wall and
the writing there too.
I saw the caravan
With a plan for the man
To see his last day
and the media went wild

But I was just a child.
and no one would listen

I saw the war begin
and the telegraphs stating
Your boy is dead
and the woman be grieving

I saw the new age
Welcomed with a song
and the leaders of the day
In there stages and platforms

I saw the style change
And the female image drawn
I was a perfect ten
Who was never fore warned

I went to school and
I learned history
but a different story
came to be when I
listened to my guide
who has nothing to hide
Who never betrayed
My reality
and what I saw
That had come to be.

I went to see him
My body lay by the door
I asked him for a future plan
When I was more still than
Anything I had heard before

and He said.....

Listen

Listen to those thoughts
That come from somewhere divine
If you cherish those words
and are never heard
The world will still be mine

Listen to what love brings
From that something bigger than you
If you cherish those moments
and are never remembered
The time will still be mine

Listen to your children
For them the world is brand new
If you cherish that truth
and never deny them that
Then forever will belong to you.


mary, voodoosevenfold
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 63
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History
That's a Stat
Posted: 5/6/2016 3:22:58 AM
We don't see it anymore
Shut the dor
We look through
Our peepholes

It's ugly they're dirty homeless
How do they get that way
We dismiss it to the mundane
Oh well it happened again.

That's a stat
and I'm good with that

I don't see it really
It's in a shiny magazine
It's just a stat
Until it happens to me

That's sad that bombing
Wow came without warning
The topic becomes chit chat
Cause that's just gonna be

A stat

What are the odds
Is that our slant? and
I say I want to live
without consequence

What's trending now
Will cause more chatter
Than anyone that questions
What's the matter?

It's just a stat

That will be how they explain
If the next generation makes it
It will be as easy as predicting the rain
To get all you fools to believe it

It's just what the stats will show.
It's all you and I have to know

You see it's not a democracy
We are all in a state of total
Apathy

And stats will show it.

Nobody cares
Take a poll
Call for a vote
It's getting old

Then the next headline
Fires out their truth
So you sit and cry
For a few hours watching news.

and they have stats for that!


So how many will die ?
If they find a cure surely
They will have to invent
another lie.

But They will have stats
That's just a stat
Heart's can be broken
that are not pure.

I'm a smoker
I'm a gambler
I am living poor
I have one check
Another train wreck
and they predict more
I'm a heart attack
I have cancer
Yet there is a knock
at the door
Meds tomorrow
please deliver before
I fall on the floor

and become another stat

That's a stat
I'm a stat
now for sure.

Mary Mizzoni
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 64
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History
Family of Origin
Posted: 5/22/2016 4:40:38 AM
Family of Origin
No one found me
When Mom died
He molested me
Caressed me
and lied

No one wanted me
He was drunk
Belittled put down
No courage
from anyone

She was hard
Threw me aside
Throttled me like a dog
Breaking me
With butter in my face

It was a lonely place
Trying to fit in
I didn't know where to begin
and I never got a start
broken heart
and no one invested in me

In that big house on the hill
I lost my mind
with only the piano to save me

I was stifled there
Told what to be
Told I was wrong
Judging my sanity

All I wanted to do was
Tell the truth
Of a discarded youth

When I wanted school
I was tossed aside
No place to hide
I was ridiculed

He was there
Put me in care
The hospitals were dark
I was abused there

Drugged a young mind
Dampened a soul
They cooked their label
I was unstable

I was the one crazy
It was easy to keep
That house on the hill
If they put me to sleep

All I wanted was to tell the truth
A story of abuse
A discarded youth

When I got pregnant
Lost and alone
They told me to abort
I had no home

Then my only joy
Giving her birth
They ripped her from me
Angry and hurt
Fed her a system
Judging my worth

No support
I was trashed
and the torment there
was paid in cash

The room was a cell
with another name
They went on
Leaving me in shame

Sis was upheld
Treated her well
A puppet of sorts
She had the desserts

She had it all
They rip me off
She learned to scream
and later to scoff

Punishing me she took her turn
Manic depression left me to burn
It was insane
They all claimed
They were superior
I was inferior

Dark grey walls
Consume me there
A narcissist Aunt
She didn't care
A soul was lost
I paid the cost
She got her trinkets
Cluttered a home
I was the dog
Left to bury the bones

One love I spared
The daughter there
Never to die
I had to lie
I couldn't burden her then
Not with my pain
So I lived a life
Riddled inane

My Sis took this
She made it her weapon
Came to my door
With her insolent lessons
Constantly bellowing
Her nasals retorts
I was not right
Was her constant fight

I told that witch over again
How I was raped
In that cellar so dim
How Uncle made me
Pay an ultimate price
So everyone else
Could put me on ice

He took out his book
Pretending to read
When she called from the stairs
He made me bleed

His fingers in my mouth
His hands on my breast
With a threat that scared me
With my ultimate death

And I did die
There in his eyes
Eleven years old
With no place to hide

That was dismissed
By my lofty Sis
Cause she had it all
Before I was missed

Hungry I suffered
Cast out I dreamed
Of a life that was bare
Of her belligerent schemes

Sorry I cried
There was no one there
To tell me my worth
I wept in my room
Cutting into my thighs
While she had her way
With arrogant sighs
She gets what she wants
While I breath to die.
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 65
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History
Insanity
Posted: 6/2/2016 12:10:54 PM
Abuse me cause this is what I know.
Yes your sultry voice in my ear
I needed comfort and you took that
Number one on your list of schemes
You stole my dreams you pig I scorn
Now that it's decades from them
Your dead and that's good but the
Devil is still here the demon that was
your soul

Your golden child She waits for you
She has become your servant of sorts
While that dirty girl is lured down the stairs
You are punishing me more.

I did tell the story then of how you
Stole my innocence took it from me
Addicted you feed upon me wicked
You murdered a child that was free

I lost my mother and you were the hell
The hell that was the aftermath of her death
You took that opportunity to feed your vile mind
And I haven't forgotten it yet.

I drew out the pictures little fingers with a pen
I drew out what was happening to me
Grounded in a room with that witch interrogating
Hell began when I told the truth

I told the truth the truth still lives in me
You have denied it from me Sis for eternity
He should have been in prison instead they
Imprisoned me

and I was a puppet of their insanity.
 ndm147
Joined: 8/1/2013
Msg: 66
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History
Insanity
Posted: 6/4/2016 11:55:38 AM
Great poetry. Do you write everyday??
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 67
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History
A Song for my Daughter
Posted: 6/10/2016 11:54:02 AM
Jessica
I thought my talents were wasted
I thought my true dreams had died
I was oppressed beyond words
Or anything I can describe
The trickery so subtle
That my innocence misunderstood
I thought my love was forsaken
Then you showed me I could

and I love you
I love you more than words can say
I think of you each and every day
and my heart sings

I love you more than you will ever know
I treasure every moment we share
I think of you each and every day
and my heart glows

I thought my life was over
I had long forgotten my dreams
I was put down and thrown away
I had to hide my pain inside
The mastery of her viciousness
Dulled all that I longed for
I thought my world was crashing
Then you showed me more

and I love you
I love you more than words can say
I think of you every day
and my heart sings

yes, my heart sings
because I have you
I have wings
because I love you.
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 68
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History
A Song for my Daughter
Posted: 6/10/2016 11:55:18 AM
thanks for the compliment mdm... I do write every day but I do not publish everything. I have a blogspot.

voodoosevenfold
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 69
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History
Help "Ode to Sis"
Posted: 6/10/2016 3:32:52 PM
Help
Accountable. but you can't be wrong
Better than everyone and you hate yourself
You can not blame me any longer
I can disagree with you

Behind your fury is your trauma
I watched you endure the same shame
Abuse neglect and deprivation
Contains your pain in a memory

you won't recall

Your mistakes make you see your flaws
So it was easier to project it onto me
You can't accept what you've repressed
To the deepest recess of your soul

The damage is done you carry it
But you do not even know what you hold
You have to see yourself as that child
She brings back the past that you can't face

You can see whats wrong with me
With her, with someone else
Gives you a minute where you finally feel good
Unworthy you feel better hating me

You banged on my door and your mirror
You have to cast those images on me
You want your drama to prove how good you are
You reward any one you can lure into your dream

Assume you are better
Demand they treat you as such
Deeply hurt your soul retreats
You need to know whats wrong with you...

Or you will never get any help.
 yourstillhere
Joined: 7/30/2008
Msg: 70
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History
Help Ode to Sis
Posted: 6/11/2016 5:26:11 PM
You have an outstanding mind, this is literally benchmark work here.
 redryder4u2
Joined: 6/7/2016
Msg: 71
Help Ode to Sis
Posted: 6/12/2016 2:28:39 PM
I love your words. Thank you for posting your art.
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 72
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History
Help Ode to Sis
Posted: 6/15/2016 6:47:00 AM
yourstillhere and redryder Thank you for your kind compliments. I love the feedback. <3
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 73
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History
Rocking Your Cage
Posted: 6/23/2016 3:59:02 PM
Rocking Your Cage

You made me perceive what you deceived unaltered prayers they were demands
You cast the spell tell them well and leave a lot to imaginations
I know your act I've watched you smear the woman before your woman you have now
You let them in pretending again that you are struggling with autism too
But they by chance caught a good photo did a dance and played music for you
You set their stage and use them to elicit sympathy while you pretend to be
some one good.

You made me the center of your target disregarded that I was human too
I cast my spell my soul to sell and bargains in the making, making well
I am taking you didn't know then It was a master plan it was to play pretend but I knew
You lost along the way you disassociate you fill your china plate with hate
But by chance she met you then collegiate you ate a piece of her cake
You swallow this and use her too to create another scapegoat you need that now
some one for food.
 PennyAnte
Joined: 4/17/2016
Msg: 74
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History
Cake
Posted: 6/25/2016 8:59:08 PM
Curse him send a legion of demons
Toss and turn while he is dreaming
Writhing in the pain he gave me
and I would sell my soul to Satan

Curse him send a hive of wasps
Spurn him with a heavy cost
Cause disaster in his wake
Lend him fear with no mistake

Under oath he shamed me there
Steal his breath and glare his stare
Choking he descends with words
Scathing venom may he burn

Give him over in Satan's name
Let his sons then bare the shame
Keeping cold his sullen heart
Cut his lips with broken shards

Beat his hands that raped my soul
Grievous let him be alone
Groping at his itching balls
Cast him out and let him fall

Let him find himself there
Staring into the mirror
Let him see his heart is worn
Thunder in this final warning

I would sell my soul to no one
Greedily I want his onus
There he has no right of passage
Pages turned and one lost message

Spark in him a fury fire
Find in him the hideous liar
Let his stomach churn in pain
Freak he was born insane

Wrenching now he will cry out
Screaming as he is tossed about
Finding himself in his cage
Let him burn in horrid rage

Feed upon his lonely soul
The witch will never be consoled
The diatribe he writes tonight
We fill in words to bark and smite

Lost let the cripple die
Let him wait to wonder why
Then show him there his evil deeds
Wandering he fills the need

There to have his thirst quenched
She is but a sorry wench
Wrecks his heart there once again
Let him lay with broken men

He will plan another caper
That will only look good on paper
Fast he will deceive no more
Penniless he wants no more

Find him in his wretched pain
Let him know it's not a game
Bring him down with mighty wrath
Lose him there there is no path

No place to regain his price
Beasts will bite his ego twice
He will be but fractured then
Never being whole again.

I will take back my fervent soul
Lest he should stay growing old
I curse him to his darkest night
Where demons thrust out the light

He does see his dim reflection
Incapable of love or affection
He can not feel empathy
But surely worthy of your pity

Curse him now oh my dark angel
Lose his cash up on that table
Pent up, bent up let him eat chit
Borrow my poison take a sip

All in all his life destroyed
Nothing there to fill the void
Let him pet his vile rod
With devils scarring as they prod

To make him weak in misery
Let this be his destiny.
Torture him again with wear
The truth he can not bare to hear
 ScentedLubriderm
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 75
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Cake
Posted: 6/25/2016 9:10:57 PM
Hey, I think you're fvckin' cool!

Keep crankin' out that stuff!
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