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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Dealing with "Just ask me" as a Profile      Home login  
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 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 26
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Dealing with Just ask me as a ProfilePage 2 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
I've seen plenty of "Just ask" profiles. They're usually the more attractive young females with extreme cleavage shots. I'm tempted to ask "Natural or implants?"

Of course due to the 14 year age restriction, I can't really ask. I can look and drool, though.
 ThePig0fYourDreams
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 27
Dealing with Just ask me as a Profile
Posted: 3/24/2015 2:04:06 AM
^ Now, see? There's a go-getter some of you can learn from.
 ScarletSienna
Joined: 3/10/2015
Msg: 28
Dealing with Just ask me as a Profile
Posted: 3/24/2015 8:08:53 AM
I put it on mine because I'm not really looking at the moment
I swear I have exhausted all the supply in this area though, not as many messages.

Either that or it's because I was lazy with the profile..
Yeah... just exhausted the supply
 justdeb1111
Joined: 8/12/2012
Msg: 29
Dealing with Just ask me as a Profile
Posted: 3/27/2015 12:21:47 PM

Here's a fact of life. Women DON'T have to try as hard as men on dating sites. They are always going to get more messages than you.
If you decide to skip their profile, then it's just one less out of hundreds for them to choose.


I wish...
 Della D
Joined: 7/10/2008
Msg: 30
Dealing with Just ask me as a Profile
Posted: 3/30/2015 3:29:22 PM
Generally, if you don't like a profile, move on to the next.

Personally, I'd not even bother sending an email to an empty profile as that indicates to me a person that's lazy, boring or probably both and therefore not the kind of company I care to keep.
Dealing with Just ask me as a Profile
Posted: 3/30/2015 6:49:57 PM
As I said in another thread on this topic...

I can think of something worthy and interesting to say to anyone, and in response to any profile. But...would I want to? Is there anything there that would make me even want to? The purpose of a profile, for many of us, is not only to give you some fodder for just starting a conversation, but it's supposed to give some real information about yourself and why you're in a dating site. I need a reason to think that a particular woman, out of a thousand, might be who I'm looking for or even someone that I'd like to get to know. Otherwise, if there's nothing real in her profile relevant to the fact that she's in a dating site, then I don't think that she is really looking for someone while also being at least in my ballpark of compatibility.
 waverunningeek
Joined: 3/20/2015
Msg: 32
Dealing with Just ask me as a Profile
Posted: 3/30/2015 9:14:40 PM
I'm new, but this is what I've noticed about the "just ask me" profiles.

-- Causal dating/No commitment
-- Lotta skin showing
-- If any hobbies are listed, it's gym, working out, fitness, etc

These sloots are just looking for hookups so I wouldn't put too much effort into what you write because it's all going to be based on your looks anyway.

[quotes]My question to you all is simple: What do you do when you see a guy/gal who just posts a couple of headshots or body shots, or jello shots and says "Ask me!"[/quotes]
 ThePig0fYourDreams
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 33
Dealing with Just ask me as a Profile
Posted: 3/30/2015 9:46:49 PM
Well, I came across one back in January. Her profile contained one sentence. "Not looking for a text buddy. We need to meet." That was all.

I wrote her, and said "ok, let's meet". She replied with her number. I texted her, we set it up.

Real complicated stuff there.
 waverunningeek
Joined: 3/20/2015
Msg: 34
Dealing with Just ask me as a Profile
Posted: 3/30/2015 9:49:59 PM
If it were only that simple all the time. Women waste so much time with wanting to text back and forth when the best way to see if there's chemistry is a face-to-face.
 ThePig0fYourDreams
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 35
Dealing with Just ask me as a Profile
Posted: 3/31/2015 12:24:12 AM
Well, I guess we're simply having different experiences. I see many profiles that speak of not wasting time with online communication, and simply get down to meeting in person.

My bottom line is, it's foolish to avoid the profiles with little information in them, and just assume they're lazy, inarticulate, or whatever.
Dealing with Just ask me as a Profile
Posted: 3/31/2015 3:35:22 AM

Well, I came across one back in January. Her profile contained one sentence. "Not looking for a text buddy. We need to meet." That was all.

I wrote her, and said "ok, let's meet". She replied with her number. I texted her, we set it up.

Real complicated stuff there.

Hahaha! Yea...funny how that works huh.

If it were only that simple all the time. Women waste so much time with wanting to text back and forth when the best way to see if there's chemistry is a face-to-face.


Well, I guess we're simply having different experiences. I see many profiles that speak of not wasting time with online communication, and simply get down to meeting in person.

My bottom line is, it's foolish to avoid the profiles with little information in them, and just assume they're lazy, inarticulate, or whatever.

This ^ is all valid, and not wrong, but...this falls under the umbrella of what you're looking for, and matching that with how you look for it. Those of us who don't want to go about things in this way are in a different place, and are looking for someone and something a bit different. There are concrete practical reasons for this. It may sometimes turn out the same, but there's still a different understanding at play, and it's important. We want someone who has this understanding versus the other.
 Eternityboreme
Joined: 3/18/2015
Msg: 37
Dealing with Just ask me as a Profile
Posted: 3/31/2015 3:47:14 AM

My bottom line is, it's foolish to avoid the profiles with little information in them, and just assume they're lazy, inarticulate, or whatever.


Some prove that they are, even when a chances is granted them.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 38
Dealing with Just ask me as a Profile
Posted: 3/31/2015 6:00:16 AM

Well, I came across one back in January. Her profile contained one sentence. "Not looking for a text buddy. We need to meet." That was all.

I wrote her, and said "ok, let's meet". She replied with her number. I texted her, we set it up.

Real complicated stuff there.

And you both lived happily ever after, right? That would be a counterpoint if it happened.

Look, I don't think the point was that it's complicated to meet people in person or right away. That's extremely easy, but why do it if you don't have a lot of free time or resources? The point is what kind of people do you want to meet (and how much time do you have to meet a ton of people)? Also, talking back and forth for a couple days isn't indicative of a potential text buddy.

I could probably meet just about every guy that messages me within a day of the e-mail (not because I'm any big deal, but because men are generally quick to meet just about anyone who agrees). The problem is, I don't have that much time or gas to waste, and most of those people will be a mismatch - and very likely not people I want to finish the actual meet with. Isn't one of the perks of this site to actually have more information on people before a face to face meet?

My bottom line is, it's foolish to avoid the profiles with little information in them, and just assume they're lazy, inarticulate, or whatever.

Most of the ones I have responded to, or messaged with little to no information in their profiles have been either one, the other, or both. The very definition of laziness is the person who says "I don't waste my time writing profiles". I like guys who have good writing and conversational abilities - and those guys naturally have decent profiles and enjoy talking back and forth a little before meeting - it's not a chore to them.

PS yes in person attraction has to be a factor, but if there's nothing in common and nothing of substance to go along with that - it doesn't really matter, unless the goal is to get face to face and nothing else, in which case set up all the meets you can. The one with the most meets wins (what the prize is, who knows).
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 39
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Dealing with Just ask me as a Profile
Posted: 3/31/2015 6:52:17 AM

If it were only that simple all the time. Women waste so much time with wanting to text back and forth when the best way to see if there's chemistry is a face-to-face.


Yeah well, welcome to the club!!!

Spent over a MONTH just recently talking/texting with a guy.....

He sent me ALL kinds of pics of himself, so he was who he said he was...and initially at least, the problems meeting were on both sides.

Then there was one week when we were supposed to meet, but I was tired of bringing it up and he said that HE would call me and arrange it...Well we didn't speak until the next day and apparently him cleaning his kitchen with his new steam cleaner was a greater priority than meeting ME....

Well, blew that off until he called and tried to pretend that all was good. I had CLEARLY told him that I wasn't looking for a 'phone buddy' and we were going to meet or just go our separate ways....
So I asked him why we hadn't met, he told me 'no good reason', which is when I said, well, take care and have a nice Life....

This is NOT the first time that or something similar has happened to me with MEN, so please, this, AGAIN is NOT a gender issue.....
People do shitty things ALL of the time, both men AND women....
 Literate_Hiker
Joined: 1/1/2015
Msg: 40
Dealing with Just ask me as a Profile
Posted: 3/31/2015 7:22:42 AM
Last night a man sent me a message, "Hi, it looks like we have a few things in common." His profile was empty. My reply:

"I cannot tell if we have anything in common because you did not write anything in "About Me" and put nothing under "Interests."

"At age 68 you prefer not to say whether you own a car, nor whether you want children. And you prefer not to say your body type. It seems like you are hiding something unsavory, or too lazy to bother writing anything.

"I'm not interested. Kathleen"

His response was "Well put."
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 41
Dealing with Just ask me as a Profile
Posted: 3/31/2015 7:34:39 AM
"Well, I came across one back in January. Her profile contained one sentence. "Not looking for a text buddy. We need to meet." That was all.

I wrote her, and said "ok, let's meet". She replied with her number. I texted her, we set it up.

Real complicated stuff there."
This. There is even a profile review forum on POF, so you don't know if the person even wrote their own profile.
I meet the man I am with after exchanging 2 msgs and one phone call ( space of 12 hours)
Still with him :) I didn't join POF to get more penpals.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 42
Dealing with Just ask me as a Profile
Posted: 3/31/2015 8:00:30 AM

Last night a man sent me a message, "Hi, it looks like we have a few things in common." His profile was empty. My reply:

"I cannot tell if we have anything in common because you did not write anything in "About Me" and put nothing under "Interests."

I have done the same. Looked at the blank slate and then responded "you have nothing listed so by default you could basically tell anyone you have stuff in common" - then I've even asked them to give me a run down of their interests, etc - and write a mini profile in the message to get a conversation going from a few times. Guess what? They either tried to sidestep that and set up a phone call or didn't really have anything for interests (or didn't care to list anything).

Yep, so we're back to lazy or inarticulate....blank or spare profiles usually come from a certain type of person. That person usually doesn't match what I'm looking for. While there are RARE exceptions, it's generally the rule.

I meet the man I am with after exchanging 2 msgs and one phone call ( space of 12 hours)
Still with him :) I didn't join POF to get more penpals.

And for you that was probably fine. Most aren't looking for what I am, so they don't have the same requirements. Everyone is happy when they find what they are looking for. You apparently did. I like guys who LIKE to read, write, engage in intelligent conversation. I don't assume all people are this way...but that's what I screen for. The method works fairly well.

And for the second time why does talking in e-mail a few times and making a couple calls classify things as having a pen pal? That's an extreme description. Of course none of us wants to endlessly talk in e-mails for years with someone, but I doubt that's what people are experiencing here.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 43
Dealing with Just ask me as a Profile
Posted: 3/31/2015 8:58:16 AM
I don't want to email someone more than a few times.
I suck at email...my friends can't even get me to answer them.

I'd rather get a phone number and call someone. I can usually
tell (and I think they can as well) whether or not we should meet.
It's easy to find out someone's interest via a phone call.

People who have to constantly rearrange their schedules
to find time for a coffee meet probably don't have time for a relationship
anyways.

I don't mind blank profiles.
But then I'm used to meeting people IRL, and everyone has a blank
profile in real life until you talk to them.
 ThePig0fYourDreams
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 44
Dealing with Just ask me as a Profile
Posted: 3/31/2015 12:16:36 PM

And you both lived happily ever after, right?


The first meet went well. She was very talkative, attractive, funny, said she couldn't wait to see me again as we were leaving, etc., but turned into a total shithead the next time I texted her. I texted her back, and told her she was much more fun in person, and then I was done with her.

I should also mention that I have absolutely no fear of bad experiences. I find they are often f*cking hilarious, actually.



Look, I don't think the point was that it's complicated to meet people in person or right away.


I believe it's the most common complaint I see here other than lack of replies to messages. For these people, I still believe it's silly to make it more complicated for yourself if you're already struggling, and no, it's not about racking up the most meets, but it is about doing something other than spending a Friday or Saturday night here venting about how shitty the POF experience has been.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 45
Dealing with Just ask me as a Profile
Posted: 3/31/2015 12:47:40 PM
Why are you standing on your head, Mr. Pig?



And yeah, some of my funniest online meetings were kind of
bad, some of my friends still talk about them.
 ThePig0fYourDreams
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 46
Dealing with Just ask me as a Profile
Posted: 3/31/2015 1:04:20 PM

Why are you standing on your head, Mr. Pig?


My feet were killing me.
 forumfellathesequel
Joined: 7/28/2014
Msg: 47
Dealing with Just ask me as a Profile
Posted: 3/31/2015 1:57:15 PM
I think I'm being played by a scammer for the past week or so, all the signs are there, fortunately I've been bored so I'm just stringing her along till she comes up with an emergency and needs money sent...then the fun will really start. :D
 Bookbelle
Joined: 10/24/2008
Msg: 48
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Dealing with Just ask me as a Profile
Posted: 3/31/2015 3:31:53 PM
*Off-topic: I am not dating at the moment, haven't for ages. I'm just here for the forums at the moment.

On topic:
The thing I think about blank profiles where the only thing the person has written is "just ask me", is that in my opinion, it kind of negates the point of an online dating profile. To my mind, part of the whole point of online dating, is that you can see by someone's profile whether you have anything in common, what kind of relationship they're looking for (if any), if they're religious or not, if they want kids/have kids, what their hobbies are, etc etc. If all they have is a photo or two and "just ask", I might as well just be asking random people I see walking down the street. In which case, why have a profile?
Writing about yourself on your profile gives people an "in" - something with which to start a conversation: "I saw on your profile that your a fan of band XYZ. What's your favourite song/album of theirs? I saw them in concert last month and they're totally worth seeing live!" and so on.

If you meet someone IRL, do you start there with, "So, what do you want to know about me?" No. Also, generally when you meet someone in real life situations, you can start by talking about the venue/activity, or asking how they know the person who introduced you, or asking where their accent is from (if applicable). If you meet at a beer festival for example and are both drinking *insert beer type here*, you presumably have something in common.
On an online dating profile, all someone has to go on is your profile, rather than all the cues listed above. If all you've put is "just ask me", you're expecting the other person to not only make all the effort in starting the conversation, you're expecting them to be interested enough in you from a few pictures and no information apart from your height/body type/location etc, if you've even bothered to fill that in, too. If you want someone to start talking to you, then it's polite to give them a starting point.

For me personally, a blank "just ask me" profile doesn't SELL the person the way I think online dating profiles are supposed to. Surely, people create a profile hoping to find a match, right? You're effectively advertising yourself, in the hope of finding someone you click with. IMO, "just ask", isn't much of an advertisement.
 Eric_Summit
Joined: 11/3/2009
Msg: 49
Dealing with Just ask me as a Profile
Posted: 3/31/2015 3:45:54 PM
bookbelle...not only are the "open" areas of some profiles vague...even some of the prompted windows provide no clues.
For example, I have seen profiles listing the home as "New Jersey" despite the fact this state is over 200 miles long. One wonders how many (and what types) of people even wish to commence writing when basics like that are not covered.

While I typically would not overthink that type of vagueness, it is also unfortunate because it pretty handily eliminates the opportunity for an interaction. My view on things has always been to give the other person the best opportunity possible to be a solid conversationalist.
 Eternityboreme
Joined: 3/18/2015
Msg: 50
Dealing with Just ask me as a Profile
Posted: 3/31/2015 3:51:41 PM

You apparently did. I like guys who LIKE to read, write, engage in intelligent conversation.


I wish a perfectly commenced conversation didn't descend to hate screed about his ex. Almost every time. My picker requires replacement.
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