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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Dealing with "Just ask me" as a Profile      Home login  
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 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 101
Dealing with Just ask me as a ProfilePage 5 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
speaking of paying attention
it is lightning - no E
Ah school days
 LLove2LaughToo
Joined: 3/5/2011
Msg: 102
Dealing with Just ask me as a Profile
Posted: 4/14/2015 6:21:37 PM

What do you do when you see a guy/gal who just posts a couple of headshots or body shots, or jello shots and says "Ask me!"


I skip on those. If you have nothing to say about yourself, I have nothing to ask you.
 ThePig0fYourDreams
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 103
Dealing with Just ask me as a Profile
Posted: 4/15/2015 5:08:27 AM

speaking of paying attention
it is lightning - no E
Ah school days


Very enlightening.
 nhtds231
Joined: 11/26/2014
Msg: 104
Dealing with Just ask me as a Profile
Posted: 4/15/2015 5:27:27 AM
When I was dating on here I had no problem with the "Just Ask" profile. What is the issue? When you are in a club, do the women have a well written profile attached to their forehead. If you see one that you are interested in knowing, you walk over and "Just Ask" No different on here.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 105
Dealing with Just ask me as a Profile
Posted: 4/15/2015 5:30:39 AM

I skip on those. If you have nothing to say about yourself, I have nothing to ask you.

Exactly. The one actually trying to meet people should be the one giving information (yes that can be both parties). There's nothing about "ask me" that shows any interest in making an effort or making it easy for anyone to get to know you (if that's what you want).

Offline if a guy approaches me I actually have interest in (rare but I can try to imagine) I have the right to say "ask me" because he's the one making the advance. But I still won't do that because if I have any interest in the guy, wanting him to pull information out of me is counterproductive to me actually getting to know him. I will likely ask him questions in return and participate in my part of the exchange (imagine that!).

It's either laziness, or you have nothing going on therefore nothing to volunteer, or you think it's all about others falling over themselves to get your attention. All fails IMO.
 Pockies
Joined: 3/7/2015
Msg: 106
Dealing with Just ask me as a Profile
Posted: 4/15/2015 7:50:06 PM
I have a problem with that on a profile as well, but for different reasoning. i have no issues sending a message, but when someone with "Just ask..." messages me asking if I'm interested, I have to bust balls right off the bat. It is impersonal and it gives me NOTHING to take an interest in. They Brag about how awesome I am based on my profile and the things I stated... yet it's a real downer that I can't even begin to return any of that emotion or excitement to talk with them. If I bother to try and be polite they just give you BS a bout it stating that we'd have nothing to talk about on a date... which At the same time I like because it helps weed out the creepers that are just trying to get laid. Or are just too pathetic to get a date based on who they are, that's why they refuse to share even one thing about themselves. I just don't like that I have to try and explain this to people. I am too nice not to so I do try. If they would just state things I'd know for sure if I'd actually want to go on a date or not. It's like opening a book with blank pages.... what the hell am I supposed to do with that? so ridiculous.
 Zuglo65
Joined: 4/19/2012
Msg: 107
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History
Dealing with Just ask me as a Profile
Posted: 4/16/2015 5:01:09 AM
I skip those as well..Sorry but I imagine her being lazy, boring, no personality.
Besides how could I tell if we are compatible, or if we have anything in common?
 ThePig0fYourDreams
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 108
Dealing with Just ask me as a Profile
Posted: 4/16/2015 8:34:55 AM

I skip those as well..Sorry but I imagine her being lazy, boring, no personality.


By imagine, you mean "assume", and you know what they say about assuming.


Besides how could I tell if we are compatible, or if we have anything in common?


By writing this message - "Hey, I noticed your profile doesn't say much about you, here's my number if you ever want to talk."
 Tarnished_Knight
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 109
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Dealing with Just ask me as a Profile
Posted: 4/16/2015 11:10:46 AM
pig wrote, chastising the previous poster:

I skip those as well..Sorry but I imagine her being lazy, boring, no personality.


PIG: By imagine, you mean "assume", and you know what they say about assuming.


Besides how could I tell if we are compatible, or if we have anything in common?


PIG: By writing this message - "Hey, I noticed your profile doesn't say much about you, here's my number if you ever want to talk."


And it shows that the world is a Neapolitan ice cream sort of place.
I tend to align myself more with the previous poster than with Pig for the simple reason that if the person advertising themselves on a dating site (says the guy w/o a photo) is unwilling or unable to actually say anything, take the time to say anything, doesn't believe they have anything to say, has already created in my mind the fact that they are boring, immature, uneducated, presumptuous in their pomposity, and would otherwise be a complete waste of my time. Since I am not looking for just arm candy, I am actually attracted to depth as well as a visage that is appealing to me, I hit next.

If by doing so I am shallow, making assumptions, not worthy of their time: I can live with that. It is, after all, a two way street.

TK
 Eternityboreme
Joined: 3/18/2015
Msg: 110
Dealing with Just ask me as a Profile
Posted: 4/16/2015 11:22:34 AM


Quite possible. But, With that thought, None of them are. Almost all of them are that way. You have to pull everything out of them. If you're that disinterested and bored, Why bother at all?


Why do YOU bother? You're responsible for your outcome.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 111
Dealing with Just ask me as a Profile
Posted: 4/16/2015 12:03:52 PM

By writing this message - "Hey, I noticed your profile doesn't say much about you, here's my number if you ever want to talk."

In order for me to have any thing to go by to actually have interest in talking I want a profile with information. the phone call is the thing that happens when I've decided I like what I'm reading and want to then engage in discussion.

But that's just me. I like people who like to read a lot, enjoy writing and conversation. Those people will by default have a profile with at least basic information and text that gives me a vague idea of who they are. If I just started with a phone call and skipped the information I'd be on the phone with about 20 guys before I actually might talk to one I like (and really I hate talking on the phone unless I have to, so that's not going to happen).
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 112
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Dealing with Just ask me as a Profile
Posted: 4/16/2015 12:19:04 PM

I tend to align myself more with the previous poster than with Pig for the simple reason that if the person advertising themselves on a dating site (says the guy w/o a photo) is unwilling or unable to actually say anything, take the time to say anything, doesn't believe they have anything to say, has already created in my mind the fact that they are boring, immature, uneducated, presumptuous in their pomposity, and would otherwise be a complete waste of my time. Since I am not looking for just arm candy, I am actually attracted to depth as well as a visage that is appealing to me, I hit next.


Generally can be true but it varies, and location is important in determining if it is an acceptable profile or not, in addition to members own acceptance or tolerance of what they are willing to work with based on their own subjective beliefs. I can say with almost certainty that at least 30% of the time in my area the have empty profiles, but often they do it because being 'presumptuous in their pomposity' as you call it is something they can get away with. So instead of 200 messages they will get only 150 per evening? lol.

Also here it is often used as a hook up site. But these same gals are highly educated and well paid professionals(doctors, teachers, accountants, executives, etc).

Then you have many girls from cultures where it would be rude to say much. Many of the Eastern Europeans( South Americans as well) for example will generally write the bear minimum , and tbh it would be unusual to write more since it would show EFFORT, which culturally is the mans place. These gals are also highly educated well traveled professionals. Certainly NOT boring.



As I said, I don't get it. If you're having a hard time here, stacking up more rules, musts/must nots, and declaring "RED FLAG!" at the drop of a f*cking dime is just going to make things worse. It's really doing you no good to define someone's entire character on something like whether or not they've filled out a profile.


I agree. I spoke to whomever I liked based on mostly shallow reasons, same as I would approach in real life scenario's. And I meet who I liked who talked a good 'talk'. In the end, a phone call decided if we could communicate and get along or NOT. I never found length of profile or whatever was said in them to matter much on 'meets' or even mini relationships.

Caveat: If they would have a REALLY unique, humorous profile. That would usually translate in real time as well. But those a not so common tbh.

At the end of the day, the profile content is basically a matter of "six of one, half a dozen of the other".
 ThePig0fYourDreams
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 113
Dealing with Just ask me as a Profile
Posted: 4/16/2015 1:59:08 PM


And it shows that the world is a Neapolitan ice cream sort of place.
I tend to align myself more with the previous poster than with Pig for the simple reason that if the person advertising themselves on a dating site (says the guy w/o a photo) is unwilling or unable to actually say anything, take the time to say anything, doesn't believe they have anything to say, has already created in my mind the fact that they are boring, immature, uneducated, presumptuous in their pomposity, and would otherwise be a complete waste of my time. Since I am not looking for just arm candy, I am actually attracted to depth as well as a visage that is appealing to me, I hit next.


The operative words here being "created in my mind". How one conjures up an entire personality based on absolutely, positively nothing is beyond me. That's one hell of a skill. Here's another thing to take into consideration. Perhaps just before joining, they were advised by someone else who was already on POF to not bother filling out a profile with the claim that "no one reads them, anyway.", which is certainly no stretch of the imagination. Hell, even I have received messages where they eventually asked how tall I am.

Let me also reiterate, if you're one who's *not* the least bit bothered by the lack us success here or you're one who IS having success with your approach, disregard anything I say on the matter. My words are intended for those who are vocal with their frustrations, and for that, I still say they need to knock down the walls they've built around themselves or stop complaining.
 SunshineGirl__
Joined: 10/7/2014
Msg: 114
Dealing with Just ask me as a Profile
Posted: 4/16/2015 2:25:00 PM

Do what I do: call them on their laziness. They're not going to respond anyway, so why be nice?.... Have a little fun.


Yet another reason women don’t respond. Some men think it’s “fun” to harass women on here.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 115
Dealing with Just ask me as a Profile
Posted: 4/16/2015 7:30:27 PM
well, thank goodness we don't care about the people who put "just ask me". I mean, we're doing a lot of talking about people we don't care about :)

If someone isn't your type b/c of your size issue, be glad you didn't waste your time and their's. their short profile did you a favor by letting you know so quick you don't find them attractive.
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 116
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History
Dealing with Just ask me as a Profile
Posted: 4/17/2015 7:16:02 AM
Next time I trip across one of those and I find the guy attractive...I'm going to message hm and say, 'So...I'm ASKING...'
Just to see if he comes up with something or not....

LOL

Wanna BET, I get NO response whatsoever???? lol
 Eternityboreme
Joined: 3/18/2015
Msg: 117
Dealing with Just ask me as a Profile
Posted: 4/17/2015 8:54:18 AM
^^It just means he isn't interested in making any meaningful contact with any meaningful person. The "just ask me" freaks usually aren't.
 phinatic14
Joined: 5/10/2013
Msg: 118
Dealing with Just ask me as a Profile
Posted: 4/17/2015 11:39:58 AM
[Yet another reason women don’t respond. Some men think it’s “fun” to harass women on here.]

Who's is harassing the poor woman? I'm sure not. How is calling them on their laziness, and simply having a little fun at their expense harassing them? I get it: they can have a little fun at a guy's expense, but's it's really wrong if they are the butt of the joke. Did you read the part about me mentioning they aren't going to respond anyway, so why should I go out of my way to be nice. I'm not interested in padding anyone's ego or giving any compliments they don't deserve. Nor am I interested is pursuing someone who can't even find the time to put together a sentence with more then three words in it. No matter how good she looks. If I sent her more then one message, that would be harassing. Some of the guys who get blown off send messages that are mean, etc. That's harassing; none of which I've ever done.
 ThePig0fYourDreams
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 119
Dealing with Just ask me as a Profile
Posted: 4/17/2015 11:57:20 AM

How is calling them on their laziness, and simply having a little fun at their expense harassing them?


ASSUMED laziness.


Did you read the part about me mentioning they aren't going to respond anyway,


I certainly read it, and guess what? You're making yet another assumption.


I'm not interested in padding anyone's ego or giving any compliments they don't deserve.


Who the f*ck asked you to?? They did nothing to you. What the hell is your problem?


Nor am I interested is pursuing someone who can't even find the time to put together a sentence with more then three words in it.


hahaha, yeah, and after learning this, I'm sure they're ready to just lock themselves in their rooms with their Evanescence CD's, a razor, and a bottle of Jack Daniels, contemplating ending it all.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 120
Dealing with Just ask me as a Profile
Posted: 4/17/2015 12:48:08 PM
^^^ well played Sir.
Why bother to message someone just to annoy them? Senseless.
Just another reason women ignore - it is jerk behaviour. Don't like their profile- shrug- they don't care :)
 SLAFFA
Joined: 8/13/2007
Msg: 121
Dealing with Just ask me as a Profile
Posted: 4/17/2015 12:50:23 PM
This isn't reallllly all that complicated. "Just ask me" is simply code for "I am NOT looking for a LTR".

Which leaves room for numerous other kinds of Relationships. It also likely means "I have no trouble typing" and/or texting. [possibly till the cows come home] Nothing wrong with that either. They used to call those folks pen pals. Certainly not my cup of tea but It's simply a choice people here have.

And with all the folks these days who seem unable or unwilling to put their phones down or away even long enough to pay the cashier and stop holding up the line...

What to write or NOT write in a profile is just one of the many choices we have here.
 SunshineGirl__
Joined: 10/7/2014
Msg: 122
Dealing with Just ask me as a Profile
Posted: 4/17/2015 1:53:20 PM

How is calling them on their laziness, and simply having a little fun at their expense harassing them? I get it: they can have a little fun at a guy's expense, but's it's really wrong if they are the butt of the joke.


How is a woman with a “just ask me” profile having fun at your expense? Why do you perceive being the “butt of a joke” or otherwise slighted by women with “just ask me” profiles? Exactly what is the joke you think you’re the butt of? You make no sense at all.

You think you have a right not to be nice to a woman and have fun calling her on her laziness because you’ve determined she won’t respond?

Having a little fun at their expense = harassing them.

Just move on to the next profile. Problem solved.


No matter how good she looks.


Uh huh. Sounds like you’re shooting for any kind of attention from women out of your league.
 Eternityboreme
Joined: 3/18/2015
Msg: 123
Dealing with Just ask me as a Profile
Posted: 4/17/2015 2:08:49 PM

How is a woman with a “just ask me” profile having fun at your expense?


Indeed.

Nobody is retraining their fingers from tapping to the next profile.


Why do you perceive being the “butt of a joke” or otherwise slighted by women with “just ask me” profiles? Exactly what is the joke you think you’re the butt of? You make no sense at all.


It's all about them when the person who wrote such profile doesn't even know he exists.

Utterly paranoid.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 124
Dealing with Just ask me as a Profile
Posted: 4/17/2015 2:41:00 PM
I wouldn't deal with it, but if I ever did. I would write back "Since your profile is blank, list 100 reasons why I should have any interest in you. If you can only list 99. we're not a match.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 125
Dealing with Just ask me as a Profile
Posted: 4/18/2015 9:01:46 AM
"How is calling them on their laziness, and simply having a little fun at their expense harassing them? I get it: they can have a little fun at a guy's expense, but's it's really wrong if they are the butt of the joke."

>>and this could be another reason why someone uses the filter, "just ask me.". If your profile describes how volunteering at the animal shelter fulfills yourself, guess how many creeps show up? mention what type of fellow you want, and you'll get plenty of whiners claiming, "but but but i'm just the type of guy you're looking for! why won't you date me? what are you, shallow? b1tch!"
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