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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Dealing with "Just ask me" as a Profile      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 LLove2LaughToo
Joined: 3/5/2011
Msg: 148
Dealing with Just ask me as a ProfilePage 7 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)

If someone is hot, they could probably say Charles Manson is their idol and STILL get messages.


If Manson is getting married with a woman 55 years old his junior, there is still hope for some of us, lol
 BeyondtheMatrix
Joined: 2/11/2016
Msg: 149
Dealing with Just ask me as a Profile
Posted: 8/28/2016 4:49:49 PM
I wrote a few days ago about a similar issue. Unfortunately, I was attacked by posters, especially by the men, incidentally. They attacked me personally -- the messenger.

I saw a woman's profile. It had nothing in it except: "Plenty of freaks?"

I sent her a brief and polite message. "Calling men you don't know names like that won't help your cause."

She sent me a message immediately. I didn't open it but re-read her profile. She had made changes. It was now: "PLENTY OF FREAKS?" She had capitalized her question. She added: "Don't message me with advice."

I didn't open her message. I deleted it.

I asked fellow-posters here what they thought of this. They attacked me. They went right for my throat, especially the men, and one long-standing user in particular. My heart sank when I saw his user-name. And, as I expected, he went straight for the jugular, attacking me personally. He agreed with her on the freaks issue.

So, if I write in my blank/empty profile: "Plenty of slags?" that means no one should attack me personally, and that I am merely 'expressing' myself. Incidentally, there is a young man in England with a profile whose headline says something far more serious this. I came across it by chance as his profile was listed at the top of the page as I logged on. I made sure my virus protection was on, and then I opened his profile. My God. You need a stiff drink and protective clothing when you open that profile. It was absolutely shocking, bordering on the demonic. And here I am, being attacked for asking a simple question.

It's the way of the world, I suppose. And as one woman said: "She wrote it because she could." Can the same be said for the young man in England?

Best wishes to everyone.
- Peter
 cujoandme
Joined: 8/14/2016
Msg: 150
Dealing with Just ask me as a Profile
Posted: 8/28/2016 5:03:53 PM
^^^ I read that entire thread you talk of above.
Odd how your interpretation is different
than how some other would interpret it.
Some might think you need professional help, it was mentioned.
I'm not sure, I don't live in your head.
Luckily.
This forum is a time waster
This forum is entertainment, not even good entertainment
Don't take it, or yourself, so seriously
This is not life or death
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 151
Dealing with Just ask me as a Profile
Posted: 8/28/2016 6:37:14 PM
Ann Landers used to tell her audience often, "no one can take advantage of you, without your permission." As others responded to you in your post about this in Other Matters, the healthiest thing you can do for your mind is to...not allow this to bother you so much as to keep posting about it.

People act like idiots b/c....they are idiots. There's nothing you can do about idiots, b/c sterilization is illegal.
 BeyondtheMatrix
Joined: 2/11/2016
Msg: 152
Dealing with Just ask me as a Profile
Posted: 8/29/2016 12:26:20 PM

Odd how your interpretation is different than how some other would interpret it. -- Cujoandme


You want my 'interpretation' of things to be the same as everyone else's? There would be no point in that. Why don't you attack someone else whose 'interpretation' is not the same as everyone else's? Why me? Does it make you feel good?

And for your information (a) I don't take myself "so seriously" and (b) I know it's not life or death. Even death itself isn't life or death.

You need to stop making mountains out of proverbial molehills and learn to attack someone else.
 GhettoFoot
Joined: 9/4/2016
Msg: 153
Dealing with Just ask me as a Profile
Posted: 9/15/2016 12:01:50 AM
I agree with a lot of the other posters. I'd just pass on those profiles. I'd be interested in connecting with those who have more to offer than just pretty pictures & a blank profile. And if they do, in fact, have more to offer, they're not doing a very good job at showcasing it. The OLD arena is much like a human vending machine. It's so easy to just be like, 'oh well, onto the next' so lazy profiles with no effort will most likely be passed over for more desirable prospects.
 BarbieJ13
Joined: 11/20/2015
Msg: 154
Dealing with Just ask me as a Profile
Posted: 5/22/2018 10:29:39 AM
Men who have "Just Ask Me" on their profile are not willing to put any effort into finding a relationship. To me, it indicates they are lazy, afraid to reveal much of themselves (trust issues?), or not really serious about anything. Why should I have to "ask them" questions based on a photo!

Best to "swipe left" on these types as they are either lazy or self -absorbed.

If you don't want any info on a public site, don't sign up for a PUBLIC SITE. Also indicates they may be a cheapskate.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 155
view profile
History
Dealing with Just ask me as a Profile
Posted: 5/22/2018 12:19:10 PM

Men who have "Just Ask Me" on their profile are not willing to put any effort into finding a relationship. To me, it indicates they are lazy, afraid to reveal much of themselves (trust issues?), or not really serious about anything. Why should I have to "ask them" questions based on a photo!


Does this also apply to women's profiles that say the same thing?
 MachIMustangII
Joined: 2/16/2018
Msg: 156
Dealing with Just ask me as a Profile
Posted: 5/22/2018 1:46:36 PM
sure does!

however, the advice is the same...not matter how hot AskMe looks, just move on to the next. Chances are you're saving time, expensive dinners, and heartache.
 Kissfromarose77
Joined: 4/2/2018
Msg: 157
Dealing with Just ask me as a Profile
Posted: 5/22/2018 5:33:06 PM
I don’t understand how people who claim to be very educated and have good jobs can fill out a profile with “just ask me.” I’m sure they didn’t get where they are in life by being lazy, so why be so lazy that they can’t even bother to properly write a dating profile? Unless they’re not what they really claim to be, which is probably the case.
 from site to sight
Joined: 11/30/2007
Msg: 158
Dealing with Just ask me as a Profile
Posted: 5/22/2018 6:31:42 PM
When these people fill out a job application form, do they put "Just ask me" in the Employment Experience and Education sections? Or put "Just ask me" on their resume and nothing else? How well would that work out?
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 159
view profile
History
Dealing with Just ask me as a Profile
Posted: 5/23/2018 3:03:18 AM
When I see that written or "I have too many interests to list", I think, well, I have too much respect for myself to inquire. I don't know what their issues are and I don't care to find out.
 flowersinthelake
Joined: 5/11/2018
Msg: 160
view profile
History
Dealing with Just ask me as a Profile
Posted: 5/23/2018 3:08:09 AM
I just swipe, click, whatever...
 MachIMustangII
Joined: 2/16/2018
Msg: 161
Dealing with Just ask me as a Profile
Posted: 5/23/2018 5:57:08 AM
"I don't understand why educated, employed people don't have the time to put more than "JAM"

>>.I don't know about everyone else, but around my corner of the map, the JAM profiles have a good looking photo to go with it. Those people are used to getting approached, so that's why they don't put in the effort--guys just look at the photo and ignore what else she offers besides a fine ass.

if someone isn't model-perfect and putting down JAM, then i'll bet we aren't so bent out of shape over it, we move on easily. in real life, we've met people who talk little about themselves b/c there's little to say.
 reverendswine
Joined: 4/14/2018
Msg: 162
Dealing with Just ask me as a Profile
Posted: 5/23/2018 6:15:16 AM
Yes, just avoid those "Ask Me" profiles, eliminating a very significant number of prospects, then continue to ask yourself why the hell you're getting nowhere with online dating.

For the life of me, I can't understand how "nothing is real until you meet" can be kicked around here endlessly, yet profiles are still valued as some sort of golden truth document by a few people.

There have always been complaints about online dating not paralleling real life, yet seeing someone with details unknown and attempting to initiate conversation is how it's done in real life. Say what you want, but the "ask me" folks are the ones "keeping it real" here.

One can either adapt or pretend it's still the days when POF let you choose wallpaper for your profiles.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 163
view profile
History
Dealing with Just ask me as a Profile
Posted: 5/23/2018 5:45:23 PM


One can either adapt or pretend it's still the days when POF let you choose wallpaper for your profiles.

Woah, a blast from the past! I had completely forgotten that, completely. That was a bunch of years ago. Which probably indicates that we have been around here entirely too long.

That’s okay, these days when I am accused of being a player, I just reply, “Yes, but we’re the ones having all the fun!”
 Kissfromarose77
Joined: 4/2/2018
Msg: 164
Dealing with Just ask me as a Profile
Posted: 5/23/2018 5:49:59 PM

>>.I don't know about everyone else, but around my corner of the map, the JAM profiles have a good looking photo to go with it. Those people are used to getting approached, so that's why they don't put in the effort--guys just look at the photo and ignore what else she offers besides a fine ass.


I’ve seen plenty of average-looking women not fill out their profile properly. If a woman shows she has nothing to offer than just a fine ass, then she can’t complain that men see her as just that.
 MachIMustangII
Joined: 2/16/2018
Msg: 165
Just Pass Me
Posted: 5/23/2018 6:46:11 PM
"just avoid them, eliminating a large number of prospects"

>>well, what are you going to ask them? if they like puppies? They don't give you much to ask (to show that you are different and are interested in who they are as a person, not what body they have, and so on that's supposed to increase our odds of getting a date), besides, "Do you think i'm hot enough you'll respond?". How is our email going to stand out from the millions of others--which is supposed to be the big complaint, that all emails are formulaic. Also, without a list of what they like...what are the odds they're some bimbo with nothing to offer? we might be wasting OUR time on them.

When I see a stranger in real life, I can read a lot about them--what are they doing? what's their confidence level? what clothes are they wearing? are they standing in the corner or in the limelight? where am I seeing her? I know more about those strangers than a profile looking down some girl's shirt claiming, "Ask me". Ask me what, if they're real?

personally, I don't bother with the JAM around here b/c I've done it in the past and they're just looking at photos. Everyone else's mileage varies. Now, there may be some unattractive women in my area that post JAM, but i'll admit I won't know b/c...i'm not bothering to check to find out :)
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 166
view profile
History
Dealing with Just ask me as a Profile
Posted: 5/23/2018 8:08:08 PM
Henry, we're the ones having fun? Who are "we"? The only male person I see having fun here and that's happy is CBGB.
 reverendswine
Joined: 4/14/2018
Msg: 167
Dealing with Just ask me as a Profile
Posted: 5/24/2018 4:53:30 AM

Woah, a blast from the past! I had completely forgotten that, completely. That was a bunch of years ago. Which probably indicates that we have been around here entirely too long.


I'm not sure when they started, but they were around when I first joined in 2012. I ended up leaving for a while, and when I came back, the wallpaper feature was gone.

well, what are you going to ask them?


Here we are on the POF Forums. The land of the overthinkers, hair-splitting over analysts, and storytellers, yet mustering up something to write someone with an "ask me" profile is a challenge?? Come on. I could do it in a comatose state.

If the woman finds you attractive, it won't take much to get her to respond. Yes, there are some women here on the forums who whine about needing a "well crafted" grandiose first message, but they've been dateless for how long now???

They've boxed themselves in with their stupid "rules" and foolish ideas they KNOW someone based on next to nothing. Refusing to contact someone with an "ask me" profile would be following their in their non-productive footsteps. Luckily, I never had to deal with women like this when I was using the site for dating.


we might be wasting OUR time on them.


The operative word here being "might", meaning - you don't know until you try. Furthermore, is there a bigger waste of time than sitting back, doing nothing, and sharing "I can't win" stories on the forums?
 MachIMustangII
Joined: 2/16/2018
Msg: 168
Dealing with Just ask me as a Profile
Posted: 5/24/2018 6:46:36 AM
so, ok, you look at a profile with pics and "Ask me". so what do you ask--how's the weather? what's up? if you like my profile, let me know? I've tried the last one, never worked. Give us some advice--criticism is wonderful, we've never had it before, all we get is useful advice around here :)

"you don't know until you try"


>>>except I have, like I said :)

now, if you believe the way to deal with JAM is to send a "what's up" and then walk away and see what happens, fine. its basic, but if you think that JAM profiles are going to judge by a photo, then...you answered the question of the post in two sentences. Rather than took 3 paragraphs to tell us what we're doing is wrong :)

I am busting your chops btw. I'm guessing your answer to this question is, something along the lines of send "what's up" and move on with life. am I right, or do you have a better line to send but don't want to reveal your secrets? :)
 PieAlaMojo
Joined: 4/30/2018
Msg: 169
view profile
History
Dealing with Just ask me as a Profile
Posted: 5/24/2018 7:08:21 AM
Did you see the flying monkeys this morning? I counted 32.

That question I just posed wasted so much of my time!
Of course you could ask something more serious, like things going on local to you.
It doesn't really matter.
If they want to talk with you, they will.
 reverendswine
Joined: 4/14/2018
Msg: 170
Dealing with Just ask me as a Profile
Posted: 5/24/2018 7:54:54 AM

or do you have a better line to send but don't want to reveal your secrets? :)


I never suggested there are magic bullet lines a man can use to make a woman attracted to him and respond. That's absurd, and reeks of PUA horsepucky to me. She needs to like your pictures. If she does, you can say damn near anything. I merely stated that giving up isn't a good idea and making nonsensical rules for yourself is only going to make things increasingly difficult.

Hell, we already have geniuses here who define a person's entire character on a non-profane, non-sexual word appearing in his username or profile. People can give me the "everyone approaches this differently" spiel until their faces resemble that of a Smurf, but a self-defeating idiot is a self-defeating idiot, and those with common sense can easily recognize them.
 MachIMustangII
Joined: 2/16/2018
Msg: 171
Dealing with Just ass me as a Profile
Posted: 5/25/2018 9:16:38 AM
"she needs to like your pictures"

>>>I'll agree to that, and I think that is she's even decent looking, she gets a lot of guys who's photos she likes. So perhaps she goes to the profile to make a decision. Of course, I also presume a lot of those dudes are just emailing some version of, "wassup"--not the question she was hoping for, maybe she wanted a question that seemed intelligent. Like a Sphinx asking all travelers to solve the riddle or be eaten :) Maybe its just another S-test.

So I guess its like playing the lottery--let the machine pick the number. if you're meant to win, you will, but you still gotta cough up the buck.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 172
view profile
History
Dealing with Just ass me as a Profile
Posted: 5/25/2018 12:59:29 PM
I've seen plenty of profiles where men say they won't respond to one or two word messages like, hi, what's up, etc.

I read profiles first, because I'm not dating solely by looks. Someone that shares my passions looks really interesting to me. When men base interactions solely on sex, when the bloom is off the rose, a woman is going to see it and feel it by how those men treat them, and it won't be pleasant. Then the women say, but I thought he loved me, what happened? What happened was the guy never loved you and only saw you as a device for sex, not as a companion.
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