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 BBEisBack
Joined: 9/16/2015
Msg: 51
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PlayersPage 3 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

HAHA.....dont consider myself a player but have met some real rude woman from this sight.....and by the way this isnt any different from any other sight...


It's Site not Sight.....
You use Your Sight to look at this Site......
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 52
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Players
Posted: 12/3/2015 1:55:34 PM

What, in your mind, constitutes a player? Is it someone who won't commit to a serious relationship or marriage after a first meet? Of course, that would never happen in real life. (lol)

I think girls (and some guys) will use it very loosely out of spite, like bad words out there, even though the term isn't necessarily all that bad (but implies one at least Could be).

IMO, it has a main definition, with an 2nd extended one that's different & strongly negative:
1. A guy who plays his hand very well in the dating scene among pretty gals, enjoys it, and is fruitful at it
2. Said guy who also does so by playing girls to get them in bed or is misleading that he's open to settling down when he's not and likes going girl-to-girl

#1 isn't directly negative, but it implies it's negative in some way -- much the same way a gal walks into a bar with a real short tight skirt. It doesn't mean she sleeps around, but people will assume so (and win more often than not if gambling in Vegas on it). So if a guy is playing his hand in the dating scene fruitfully, it doesn't Mean he's lying or using women in doing so. You can't expect the first girl he picks up that he's going to whisk away on tons of dates, as the average Joe isn't necessarily going to either! But it's the jealousy by guys and the frustration by girls if he's not into her -- but obviously is fruitful in the singles/dating scene and isn't settling down.

A guy on the rebound shouldn't be settling down, but if he does know how to play his hand well in the singles/dating scene, he'll do well during that phase -- and yes, have 8th-grade-makout-jam-sessions with several women (and more with some of those), have several dates, etc. A guy who plays his hand very well in the scene doesn't have to lie or mislead.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 53
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Players
Posted: 12/3/2015 7:21:02 PM
My definition of a player and it only applies to men in my opinion, is a guy who has multiple women, not necessarily deceitful or immoral. He is successful at getting the sex he wants and has a lot of fun.
 ShowboatSupreme
Joined: 11/10/2015
Msg: 54
Players
Posted: 12/3/2015 10:47:03 PM
Huh. I think a player , male or female, is someone that claims to be monogamous with you but is actually boinking others on the side.

If he/she is being honest, then 2 consenting adults can indulge/engage at will.
 Sweetness_and_Light
Joined: 11/10/2015
Msg: 55
Players
Posted: 12/4/2015 8:45:56 AM

It's Site not Sight.....
You use Your Sight to look at this Site......


I love you, BBE.

I think one of the reasons I have kinda stopped reading the forums (and a lot of websites with comment sections) is that the grammar and spelling are SO bad that I question my sanity.

The worst is the illiterate use of the apostrophe. Honestly, I am just not going to consider a relationship with people who have forgotten their learning.

Younger people have an excuse, their teachers are illiterate.
 ShowboatSupreme
Joined: 11/10/2015
Msg: 56
Players
Posted: 12/4/2015 8:47:23 AM
I've always been fond of the ellipsis ...
 Sweetness_and_Light
Joined: 11/10/2015
Msg: 57
Players
Posted: 12/4/2015 9:08:44 AM
oh you

let's see, it's the dots, right? (without googling it)....... my LIFE is an ellipsis...

I have to add the fluff so the message will post (they must have re-fixed the bug)
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 58
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Players
Posted: 12/4/2015 11:47:09 AM

Huh. I think a player , male or female, is someone that claims to be monogamous with you but is actually boinking others on the side.

I think that's "getting played", which is different than the context of Player. It's always feared a Player can very well do that sort of 'playing'. But I think Player is attributed to one who plays the dating scene very well and scoops up lots of prospects' interests and dates around. Not necessarily cheating on anyone, but frustrations that he Won't settle down to be monogamous. Which is understandable... if a guy is a true Player, able to pick up lots of new, attractive women and enjoying the buffet -- he instinctually won't want to settle in with just one for a long while.
 Viper1j
Joined: 2/6/2015
Msg: 59
Players
Posted: 12/4/2015 4:12:32 PM

There are a lot of players on here who say they are not who they are.You have to be careful about who you reply to. They lie to you about things.
Also it is rude not to answer your reply at all.If you're not interested in a person just say so instead of ignoring them.


NO WAY!!! People lie on the internet? Say it isn't so!

Didn't you know that everything on the internet is 100% true?
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 60
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Players
Posted: 12/4/2015 5:43:03 PM
the poor grammar and spelling used to irritate me but I got used to all sorts of bad language and no longer bother to even point out the correct spelling to anyone.

I would never bother with anyone who is semi literate or worse. It amazes me that so many say they have university degrees but cant spell for peanuts!!!!!.

I get that predictor text can interfere but we need to edit what we are writing as we go along. My pet peeve is "women" instead of "woman" oh........... and "whoa to go" when it should be "go to whoa"......and " I could care less" when they really mean "could NOT care less".
 tangofish
Joined: 6/16/2015
Msg: 61
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Players
Posted: 12/4/2015 6:32:18 PM
I need a rebound for my rebound so bad that I'm desperate enough to let blatant stupidity, bad grammar, and other forms of unacceptable ignorance slide.
 NJgirl116
Joined: 7/3/2015
Msg: 62
Players
Posted: 12/5/2015 8:39:59 AM
I've had no problems with bad grammar when I found the guy to be hot... I still keep the text from that smoking hot man after our date when I texted "I'm home, thank you!" and he texted back "YOUR WELCOME I hope you had a nice time"
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 10/31/2015
Msg: 63
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What constitutes a 'Player' or being 'Played'?
Posted: 7/11/2017 8:58:09 PM
I was messaging someone in here for a week or two, and about Thursday last week made a date for lunch - today. We had already swapped phone numbers, and was texting randomly back and forth thru the weekend. I was at a family reunion picnic out of state, so I was occupied a lot with relatives and such, but still managed to reply and send a few family pics showing what was going on.

Sending a text out noon yesterday, asking if we were still 'on' for Tuesday lunch, she said she had a coffee date on Friday and liked the guy and wants to see where it goes. I'm used to being turned down this way. It's happened more times than I can count. People that can make multiple dates with multiple people are free to do so - and they do. Nothing I can do about it, so I try my best not to let it bother me.

She was very apologetic and polite about it. We chatted a few more text messages, and then she said this...
"I've heard many stories of players - both men and women. It's all just unfortunate for those of us who are seeking the real deal. Too many serial daters online..."

What kind of bothers me is the statement of complaining about players or serial dating - is that is was coming from someone who made and met a date AFTER we had already made plans to meet a few days later, and never mentioned a thing until I texted to confirm the day before. Shouldn't I at least be justified having feeling of being played, or be a little snarky about that hypocrisy of complaining about something they themselves are doing right now?

I realize this wasn't an extended trend of lying or being genuinely cheated upon, and I have no idea how many first dates she's attempted with multiple men, so being on solid ground for an accusation of 'serial' dater is flimsy too. I don't hold a grudge against this particular lady because of being turned down - she was sweet and very polite about the matter - but it kind of chills me how people in general simply don't realize how their own actions make them hypocrites - no matter how valid their beliefs or intentions may be. Complaining about what others do without realizing your own role in it is kind of disturbing.
 sun___flower
Joined: 5/8/2015
Msg: 64
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What constitutes a 'Player' or being 'Played'?
Posted: 7/11/2017 11:15:24 PM

someone who made and met a date AFTER we had already made plans to meet a few days later

Nothing wrong with this, as you did not have an agreement to not meet other people, right?

I don't agree with you that she is a hypocrite, because setting up two dates from POF is neither being a player nor serial dating, but this

asking if we were still 'on' for Tuesday lunch, she said she had a coffee date on Friday and liked the guy and wants to see where it goes

is not cool. She texted with you all weekend, giving you the impression that you were still on for Tuesday, and didn't say anything about having decided to not meet you? It's possible there was no Friday coffee date, and she created that as an excuse to not meet you, but if that were the case, waiting until you confirm your date to say oh no, I met someone so I'm not going to be meeting you as we've planned is just graceless.
 Manofsubstance1970
Joined: 7/8/2017
Msg: 65
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What constitutes a 'Player' or being 'Played'?
Posted: 7/12/2017 5:56:21 AM

What constitutes a 'Player' or being 'Played'?

"The definition of a player = Someone who tells you what you want to hear, to get you into bed"
"Played = Someone who fell for the player and ranted about it afterwards, because they were in denial of their own stupidity"
"Both men and women can be players"
"Advice - don't be bitter about it and don't blame one entire gender for your mistakes - move on and be positive - Learn to spot the clear signs and red flags"
 from site to sight
Joined: 11/30/2007
Msg: 66
What constitutes a 'Player' or being 'Played'?
Posted: 7/12/2017 6:18:36 AM

"The definition of a player = Someone who tells you what you want to hear, to get you into bed"


Does that mean the proper thing to do is to tell a person what they don't want to hear to avoid being labeled a player?
If two adults agree to have sex, why is there a victim?
 Manofsubstance1970
Joined: 7/8/2017
Msg: 67
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What constitutes a 'Player' or being 'Played'?
Posted: 7/12/2017 6:29:55 AM

Does that mean the proper thing to do is to tell a person what they don't want to hear to avoid being labeled a player? If two adults agree to have sex, why is there a victim?


"The Word Player exists for a reason - A player is someone who make's the other person believe, that it is going to be much more, than just sex, They sell the dream, get the sex and then walk away - they do this with everything single woman, who falls for it and that's why 'the term player' was invented"
"How many women on this site have admitted to being played? How many said he was very convincing? I think some will tell you if you ask"

"Learning to spot the red flags is the key and learning to make better choices"

"These D bags give men a bad name and make women bitter towards men, so it's in my best interest to expose them and tell women to watch out for the red flags, because I want women to see men like me, as decent and not manipulative users"

"I don't want women to be played and I don't want women thinking all men are players or bad"
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 68
What constitutes a 'Player' or being 'Played'?
Posted: 7/12/2017 8:35:18 AM
"She texted with you all weekend, giving you the impression that you were still on for Tuesday, and didn't say anything about having decided to not meet you? It's possible there was no Friday coffee date, and she created that as an excuse to not meet you, but if that were the case, waiting until you confirm your date to say oh no, I met someone so I'm not going to be meeting you as we've planned is just graceless."



If she had already decided after the Friday meet that she was going to cancel she should've let you know right away.

Perhaps she was undecided and the family pix turned her off ?

Maybe she thought you looked like a bunch of dorks doing potato sack races ?

Who knows ?
 sun___flower
Joined: 5/8/2015
Msg: 69
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What constitutes a 'Player' or being 'Played'?
Posted: 7/12/2017 8:44:20 AM

If she had already decided after the Friday meet that she was going to cancel she should've let you know right away.

+1

Perhaps she was undecided and the family pix turned her off ?

I think something along these lines is more likely. The 'met someone on Friday' was an excuse.
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 70
What constitutes a 'Player' or being 'Played'?
Posted: 7/12/2017 8:48:34 AM
^^^^

It's also possible she was undecided after the Friday meet but Sunday night or Monday the Friday guy saw her again and banged her like a screen door during a hurricane.


One can only speculate
 sun___flower
Joined: 5/8/2015
Msg: 71
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What constitutes a 'Player' or being 'Played'?
Posted: 7/12/2017 9:04:30 AM
True. You are so right that one can only speculate.


In order to maintain the highest quality hurricanes you are restricted to having no more than 2 of the last 10 posts on a thread.

Since 2 of the last 10 posts are yours you can not post to this thread... OR CAN YOU.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 72
What constitutes a 'Player' or being 'Played'?
Posted: 7/13/2017 5:53:22 AM
What kind of bothers me is the statement of complaining about players or serial dating - is that is was coming from someone who made and met a date AFTER we had already made plans to meet a few days later, and never mentioned a thing until I texted to confirm the day before. Shouldn't I at least be justified having feeling of being played, or be a little snarky about that hypocrisy of complaining about something they themselves are doing right now?"

>>>I've been treated this way often when younger and I asked out women often. I can tell you from experience, if you decide to be snarky about it, they won't be receptive. Some will even turn it on you. Which just annoys you more. But sometimes, swallowing your pride means when things fall thru, they may come back to you. Now, do you want a person you can't trust to come back? naturally, it depends upon how hot they are :) We put up with a lot in the attempt to get a hot body in the sack.

Dating someone with more options than us, is tough. We're risking a lot. But when it pays off, we sure don't complain then, right? :)
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 73
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What constitutes a 'Player' or being 'Played'?
Posted: 7/13/2017 7:24:35 PM

"I've heard many stories of players - both men and women. It's all just unfortunate for those of us who are seeking the real deal. Too many serial daters online..."

Although what she was doing -- juggling dates with more than one person at a time -- was player-esque that some gals will assume/accuse about when the tables are turned the same way... it's not serial dating. I call that "cereal" dating. :)

Standard serial dating is going thru one, datING them -- then leaving, then moving on to find someone else. Like a serial killer. Now, those aren't necessarily players, though. Girls can be the same way.

Players are those who want to keep playing the game (many dates, many guys/gals) and not want to settle down to truly be Dating anyone (but when they do, usually doesn't last long; they'll react like a serial dater would). Some players can be serial daters -- but dating a certain someone will be pretty short-lived.

To be a player, you either need to be conscious/aware of what you're doing if you're serial dating, but doing it anyway to get the most out of chicks (or dudes) at the others' expense and for your own happiness... OR just be skilled in getting dates and not wanting to settle down (even if still a good person and not leading anyone on; player doesn't necessarily mean treating people bad).

I understand your frustration with her. She's seeing it one-sided. "What can guys do For Me?" is her mindset... "looking out for myself," when in the process, losing sight that what she's doing is player-esque as far as what she'd likely label players as. But Not necessarily. Many times to be labeled a player it depends how much you expressed interest in them + how much they are into you. If both are high -- yeah, Most people are going to call you (or her in this case) a player.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 74
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What constitutes a 'Player' or being 'Played'?
Posted: 7/13/2017 7:27:56 PM

"I've heard many stories of players - both men and women. It's all just unfortunate for those of us who are seeking the real deal. Too many serial daters online..."

Although what she was doing -- juggling dates with more than one person at a time -- was player-esque that some gals will assume/accuse about when the tables are turned the same way... it's not serial dating. I call that "cereal" dating. :)

Standard serial dating is going thru one, datING them -- then leaving, then moving on to find someone else. Like a serial killer. Now, those aren't necessarily players, though. Girls can be the same way.

Players are those who want to keep playing the game (many dates, many guys/gals) and not want to settle down into true Dating anyone (but when they do, usually doesn't last long; they'll react like a serial dater would). Some players can be serial daters -- very short-lived.

To be a player, you either need to be conscious/aware of what you're doing if you're serial dating but doing it anyway to get the most out of chicks (or dudes) at the others' expense... OR just be skilled in getting dates and not wanting to settle down (even if still a good person).

I understand your frustration with her. She's seeing it one-sided. "What can guys do For Me?" is her mindset... "looking out for myself," when in the process, losing sight that what she's doing is player-esque as far as what she'd likely label players as. But Not necessarily. Many times to be labeled a player it depends how much you expressed interest in them + how much they are into you. YMMV. If both are high -- yeah, Most people are going to call you (or call her in this case) a player.
 purpleheart808
Joined: 2/6/2017
Msg: 75
Players
Posted: 7/29/2017 5:03:23 PM
A player is someone who on their profile says they are looking for a relationship, they talk to you about how they are looking for a relationship, they assure you they are not looking for a one night stand. But when you initally meet you it turns into sex, and then you never hear from him again. He then repeats this process with more and more women from the site.
That is a player.
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