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 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 96
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What about this guy, he's stating what he wants? I'm curious what work he wants her to do. He looks like he lives in an RV. Is she gonna strut around his RV in heels and a dress, then is supposed to go outside and clean the RV's poop tank? I've seen men say they want someone that will do yardwork, lol. His words verbatim:

I want an equal partner like my headline says another words I want a partner not a puppy someone who's willing to contribute their ideas and opinions. A lady who likes to dress like a lady to be told she's a beautiful woman but can also get right in there and help with the work.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 97
Players
Posted: 8/3/2017 9:08:13 PM
"Why would anyone wish to pursue a relationship where the sex was bad?"

>>>I know of two women who did it regularly (b/c oh darn, we talked about sex). And no one believed it b/c they were "could have any guy they wanted" good looking. They did so for 4 reasons:

1) didn't think they deserved better--an attitude that carried over to a lot of things in their life.

2) the low opinion of themselves that made #1 possible, made them chase the guy who didn't see interested in them, hence the poor sex

3) good sex would feel like loving sex, and loving sex would feel like they were being loved. And of course, that meant they had to love back in return, couldn't use the guy to avoid being alone, couldn't use the guy for confirmation and then dump him to win over the next guy, and of course loving someone felt weird.

4) if you just want a guy, how he does things doesn't matter so much. Low expectations leads to low-quality results.
 meowzing
Joined: 4/27/2017
Msg: 98
Players
Posted: 8/3/2017 9:27:16 PM
^ There is so much truth to that its creepy, sad, and says a lot about our culture.
Parents please teach your children they are smart, special, beautiful, and are LOVED.
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 99
Players
Posted: 8/4/2017 8:36:18 AM
Can a player fake an orgasm?
 Darwin1971
Joined: 1/31/2013
Msg: 100
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Posted: 8/4/2017 11:14:47 AM

Parents please teach your children they are smart, special, beautiful, and are LOVED.


Please don't!!!

Be honest if your kid is dumb or slow teach him/her how to use his/her other gifts to make a place in this world. This can be done they are going to figure out that the other kids are smarter eventually. use things like "you picked up on that so well" or "you are being very cleaver in doing it like that", "nice you figured that out fast". Do not use the word smart all the time.

Special? NO your not special until you have figured out or earned what can make you special. Because really most are not born special and few ever become "special". as a parent it is our job to help them to figure it out without pressure. I guess if you wanted to say "your special to me" that would be ok.

Beautiful??? **** no teach them to accept what they can't change and fix what they can. The idea of beauty changes depending on the culture you are in and the styles of the day. For example I am considered handsome/good looking here(in Wyoming) but on the coast my body type/face would not be considered ideal. AND PLEASE teach them how to eat and exercise to maintain and keep a healthy body/mind and why it is important.

Loved sure you can tell them that.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 101
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Posted: 8/4/2017 1:36:26 PM

Why would anyone wish to pursue a relationship where the sex was bad?

True. Which is why most people, including good cultured citizens, pork before Relationship. The "standard" (but we don't tell maw & paw; not that maw & paw usually varied much either; shhh) is to get to sex aka "home plate" once it's been established as relationship Potential, after ("merely") many dates. But it's not all that uncommon, including good cultured citizens, to have sex notably sooner, given enough time being single.

Healthy relationships take a heck of a lot more that 3-4 dates.

True. The beginnings of a Relationship, assuming Bob & Sally didn't know each other prior to them getting the dating ball rolling, aren't so Solid (yet?), off the bat. But it will still become a Relationship after 4-6 weeks of fruitful dating, once going-steady. It many times will take longer (an extra month or two) to be universally accepted as "boyfriend / girlfriend". It's uncommon for a couple to hold off intercourse until the point of officially going steady / 4-6 weeks in, let alone being universally accepted as BF/GF, which would be several months in. But I will say -- when one does hold off sex until after going steady, if the sex was "ehh", it's not going to have as much of a hit on things -- and one's going to give it a few rounds to be on the same wavelength, which from a practical standpoint, is a good thing. As when having sex "too-early" (date #1-4) -- not-that-great sex can end things quite quick if there was no big crush on the person, as it itself carries a lot more % of the psychological weight between the two, earlier on like that. Speaking of sex prior to going steady...

but there isn't mind blowing love making without intimacy. The kind that comes from taking the time to get to know someone well. Like where they work, hang out, and getting to know the people in their lives

First, as a funny side note, a stalker has that latter part covered before even their 1st date. ;) But I think sex is most fruitful & solidifying in the honeymoon phase of a Relationship, being in an intimate relationship, sure. However, everything is more fruitful too. Once established for a while, well past the honeymoon phase, in a Relationship though, sex much of the time can be very compatible & good and all -- but a good sexual encounter when just going out on dates with someone you really like and emotionally chasing will be way better than that. But it is in some sense comparing apples & oranges... or shall I say, different lawns on other sides of the fence. :)

Players don't usually let you get that close. They don't want you all up in their personal lives, when someone that genuinely cares will.

Well, players aren't going to want to go steady with most gals they go out on dates with / chase / etc. They certainly can, though -- they're just more picky than others, because they have a fruitful time on that other side of the fence. But getting to know them as you point out -- more or less requires going steady -- which is why a player (one who reaps the benefits of being single and enjoys it) won't, as a natural by-product of how they roll --> unless of course, the gal is a very uncommon "draft pick".
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 102
Players
Posted: 8/4/2017 2:24:48 PM
something Darwin perhaps forgot to add...teach your children to love themselves DESPITE not being special. They can figure out for themselves, where they exist on the pecking order. But they should still know how to love what they are, warts and all

"players don't let you get that close"

>>sometimes, the player is a damaged person...they aren't letting you get close, b/c there's nothing to let you get close to. I see a lot of people wishing they could get more from a person, ignoring the fact they got everything the person had to offer...and it wasn't much. but they wish they could get a better sign of love, when in reality the person doesn't love themselves, so there is no love to give to others.
 meowzing
Joined: 4/27/2017
Msg: 103
Players
Posted: 8/4/2017 6:47:06 PM
Everyone is smart, special and beautiful. That's another problem in our culture, and one good reason why we see of all the low self esteem right on these very boards.
 NoxzemaWA
Joined: 2/19/2017
Msg: 104
Players
Posted: 8/4/2017 7:31:50 PM
^ not really. There are certain people who are going to be perceived & treated as more attractive, accomplished and intelligent than others. We are not all created equally.


When women do the disappearing act after sex, a common assumption is the sex was bad. Although that's possible, it's not the only reason why.


I've heard some women vanish after sex because of the common social assumption that men do the vanishing. These women reject him first to quell their own fear of being "pumped & dumped". It doesn't make too much sense. & if you're playing the game of "let me reject him first so he doesn't reject me", maybe you aren't mature enough to be engaging in casual sex in the first place. I've never been pumped & dumped after sex but then again, I'm selective on who I choose to sleep with & I don't **** on the first date.
 meowzing
Joined: 4/27/2017
Msg: 105
Players
Posted: 8/5/2017 12:49:14 PM
"not really. There are certain people who are going to be perceived & treated as more attractive, accomplished and intelligent than others. We are not all created equally".

I never said equal. Social constructs, and even advertising project what is considered "better". However I did teach my daughters they are smart, beautiful, and special. As adults they still believe this knowing there are others that are smarter, physically more beautiful, but not more special. Everyone has what they are great at.

Low self esteem and the feeling of getting played seem to go hand in hand from what has been posted thus far.
Maybe teaching self esteem should be a priority.
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 106
Players
Posted: 8/5/2017 1:18:33 PM
Something tells me Noxema has been to pound town a few times...involuntarily
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 107
Players
Posted: 8/5/2017 2:17:37 PM
Why do you keep changing your name Clooney? Don't tell us you have an upgraded acct!
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 108
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Posted: 8/5/2017 7:50:02 PM
Noxzema, from what I've seen, women that do a hit and run were wanting sex, but not really liking the guy to stay with him. You know, just playing the field, sampling the merchandise, having a fvck and chuck, a wake and make a break☺ That's why going to his place is best, no having to ask someone to leave or God forbid seeing them in the morning after riding the landjaeger😇😇😇😈
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