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 Literate_Hiker
Joined: 1/1/2015
Msg: 51
Unread/DeletedPage 3 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

clarice46:Women who are slim and attractive are here for the ego boost, their pics may not even be real and if you pressed for a meet, they would more than likely not show.

This is incorrect.
You are negatively stereotyping and disparaging slim and attractive women.
I have never stood up a man.
All of my photos are recent and real.
I am looking for a loving relationship.
Granted, it is uplifting to receive dozens of complimentary emails from men each week.
 deepthoughtlighthumour
Joined: 2/15/2015
Msg: 52
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Posted: 3/15/2015 12:39:26 PM
People should not take Clarice and Groton's posts personally. Clarice said slim and attractive women.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. To some a person may be slim, to others, the same person may be attractive. To some, that person may be attractive and slim, to others, that person may be neither.

So... why get so defensive about it. It's not always about us each individually.
 bluemoon24_7
Joined: 4/18/2014
Msg: 53
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Posted: 3/15/2015 2:03:41 PM
Beauty IS in the eye of the beholder.

Hell, I get emails from men every week and I don't have a picture up. I seem to "look" good on paper. And slim/ attractive is subjective plus we all know a few that are attractive on the outside and ugly on the inside.
 Fire_and_Ice4_You
Joined: 10/28/2014
Msg: 54
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Posted: 3/15/2015 2:22:32 PM

^^^ correct. That's because she was not attracted to me at least initially because at that time she always saw me smoking and I may not have been good looking enough

Are you serious...that you believed this person to be a famous actress?
I have seen pictures of famous actors, athletes, models...even authors...men/women....the pictures soon disappeared when they were reported by me and others.
Kind of my pet peeve....is catching these people....lol. They never have intent on meeting anyone....How could they?
Best you learn how to use Tineye or Google Image.
 mrgorton
Joined: 3/20/2014
Msg: 55
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Posted: 3/15/2015 3:05:21 PM

Are you serious...that you believed this person to be a famous actress?
I have seen pictures of famous actors, athletes, models...even authors...men/women....the pictures soon disappeared when they were reported by me and others.
Kind of my pet peeve....is catching these people....lol. They never have intent on meeting anyone....How could they?
Best you learn how to use Tineye or Google Image


LOL!!... What?? How the story gets twisted. First off, I never said she was a "famous" actress. She was just an actress, one of thousands just making enough to pay her rent which by the way is better than most having to wait tables ect to supplement their incomes.

And yes, I did in fact meet her because she knew of me already as she saw me in the neighborhood. That's one of the only reasons why she replied. We were friends for over a year, then we had sex which was the beginning of the end. Ya...having sex with a friend kills it for sure.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 56
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Posted: 3/15/2015 9:28:30 PM
Personally I don't get upset about people who like slim/attractive people, it's when they add that bullshit that only slim/attractive people get mail or date or married, etc., because it's just a defense mechanism on their part to need to lash out, insult and bash people they think might be the easiest to hurt.
 Fire_and_Ice4_You
Joined: 10/28/2014
Msg: 57
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Posted: 3/15/2015 11:09:39 PM
Ooops...misunderstood...just read on this page....

You became friends only with pretty actress, as she had no intentions of meeting up, is that right?

Which you replied


^^^ correct. That's because she was not attracted to me at least initially because at that time she always saw me smoking and I may not have been good looking enough
 mrgorton
Joined: 3/20/2014
Msg: 58
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Posted: 3/16/2015 11:14:49 AM
^^ no problem ^^
 Grl_next_door
Joined: 6/28/2014
Msg: 59
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Posted: 3/16/2015 2:26:44 PM
"So they pick long hair and tits and wonder why there is no depth or intelligence. Just as many men, if not more, have no idea what the want and make poor choices".

I know the forums wouldn't be nearly as fun if we didn't stereotype, in fact, what would we have to discuss and call one another out on ?

But I can't let this one go...who says the 'long hair and tits' women have no depth or intelligence? I have both, and I can assure you, I'm no bimbo...
 deepthoughtlighthumour
Joined: 2/15/2015
Msg: 60
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Posted: 3/16/2015 7:03:35 PM
And who says only women. I am not a woman, have long hair and tits, and still not a bimbo. Very shmarrrrrt, indeed.
 Grl_next_door
Joined: 6/28/2014
Msg: 61
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Posted: 3/16/2015 7:55:14 PM
"And who says only women. I am not a woman, have long hair and tits, and still not a bimbo. Very shmarrrrrt, indeed. "

I'm not here to single anybody out, but think about it...if we didn't stereotype or judge, or take snipes at each other, a lot of people would be left with nothing to talk about, on here or IRL.
If the endless posturing on here ended, there might be potential for some great dialog.
 DietFree
Joined: 11/1/2012
Msg: 62
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Posted: 3/16/2015 8:22:53 PM
(msg 52) I find it weird reading the stereotyping of women that are slim and attractive from a woman who doesn't even have a photo.
And now (ughh) I'm stuck with a bad vision of a guy (deep thought) having man boobs....ewww!!
 mrgorton
Joined: 3/20/2014
Msg: 63
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Posted: 3/17/2015 11:42:27 AM

And now (ughh) I'm stuck with a bad vision of a guy (deep thought) having man boobs....ewww!!


LOL..I agree. I only like a cup cuties if they are FEMALE.
 SLAFFA
Joined: 8/13/2007
Msg: 64
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Posted: 3/31/2015 2:23:21 AM
You have already been given some great advice already.

IMO, the best thing a guy can do here [based on my own experience] is do the best job you possibly can to RECEIVE emails. Which boils down to 2 simple things. Put up the best pics you can and make sure your profile is as "well written and mistake free" as you can make it. Don't be afraid to ask for help somewhere in this regard. And don't knock yourself out SENDING emails. I learned in my first month here [after spending a couple of years on 2 paid sites] that sending emails is nothing more than an exercise in futility at Fish and the rate of return is simply not worth the time investment to send a "proper" email to the "right" ladies. I have no idea what the ratio of M/F is nor would I dare hazard a guess as to how many F profiles are fake.

Of course it WAS almost 8 years ago when I tried sending them. Maybe things have changed?

All I can tell you is that some ladies actually will read your profile and some who write will be a match.

One more thing. Unless you are happy with endless email exchanges, don't be afraid to put some detail in your profile. True, it might stop some from Fishmailing you but t will also stop some of the STs [Serial Typists] from mailing you.

I have no doubt that this site has plenty of short, fat, bal men sending crude endless one liners to ladies. But I can also tell you from experience that a "goodly portion" of the women on this site are simply lonely [and possibly in a Relationship?] and looking for nothing more than a penpal/sympathetic ear.

Buyer Beware!
 FL_G8RZ
Joined: 10/13/2014
Msg: 65
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Posted: 3/31/2015 4:32:05 AM
Don't get me started, HarlyRdr4u.
It is THEE biggest pet-peeve of mine on this site.
If I make/take the time to write, women - interested or not - could make the time to, at least, read what I wrote. If I'm going down some rat-hole they don't care to traverse, then just delete it.

One gal stated in her profile that she was moving to this area from Maryland and I simply asked what part of MD and that I was from there (and specified the town). Unread/Deleted.

Karma is coming ... I know I'll be ok ;-)
 justdeb1111
Joined: 8/12/2012
Msg: 66
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Posted: 3/31/2015 11:13:23 AM

2) They get a lot of traffic. They're not going to waste their time with a guy who is Clearly unattractive to them. They get a zillion messages. Far more than guys. No need to read every one.


Yeah, right-o, I've gotten bazillions in my mailbox--NOT.

@Op, dating websites are not for the faint of heart, don't let the ill manners of a couple of *soooo busy* ladies bother you---if they are that callous here can you imagine what they are like in real life?

I also think that was cr*ppy advice to tell you to message heavy or otherwise "unattractive" ladies. Message who you are attracted to in pics or bios, this is a numbers game ("game" isn't the best word but can't think of what else to call dating)
so the more that you are out there the more likely you are to find a match. Just don't take it personally if they don't answer or delete--it's not you, it's them.
 justdeb1111
Joined: 8/12/2012
Msg: 67
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Posted: 3/31/2015 11:20:24 AM

""""Yes, there are leagues, whether people will admit to them or not. The truth is those who contact others that are significantly more attractive than themselves typically don’t do well in the online dating world.""""


Nope, there are levels of confidence though.

If you think you are worthless and that your intended is a "god", you are at high risk to get trampled and you did that to yourself. If however you know you are the real deal, have the life's experiences to prove it, then put all of that confidence in a well written greeting and fire away. You just might find out that the "god" was looking for you all along and isn't at all intimidating in reality.
 notthedoctor2
Joined: 3/19/2015
Msg: 68
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Posted: 3/31/2015 3:27:01 PM

I feel if someone takes the time to write a few lines to you, the LEAST you can do is acknowledge their existence and write back a kind reply - even if it IS just to say, "I'm sorry, "I'm not interested."


I used to agree with you...sadly, the most of the responses I have gotten have been nasty. Now I just don't answer.
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 69
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Posted: 3/31/2015 4:21:31 PM
Remember this statement-

Internet dating is a place where good men die a soul crushing death of unanswered messages, and empty inboxes.

Once you understand that, and accept it as the gospel truth, the better off you'll be. The commercials of most daring sites are pure fantasy, and very close to outright lies, if you're a man. Problem is, we're hard headed. Some will write, and edit their profiles constantly in the first few months. We post photos of ourselves in every conceivable situation, short of sitting on the can, and nothing works. We lower our acceptable levels to just short of messaging women that we wouldn't take to a dog fight in a dark alley, and still hang onto that little glimmer of hope that out there, some woman just might throw a "Hi" message back at you. Even if it's short lived. Now, you will find a few that find you interesting. They usually live so far away, that it would be easier to travel to the moon. (And more economical)

The solution to it all is to become a forumite. Here, your words will be read. Some will skip over you. Others will actually recognize your existence. And you get to brush up on your spelling and punctuation.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 70
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Posted: 3/31/2015 4:49:25 PM
What kind of manners does a person have if they spend their time whining, ranting at those they call out for not having manners and are waiting for some karma to come around and what, slap the manners into someone who snubbed you? Maybe you didn't think this through.
 SunshineGirl__
Joined: 10/7/2014
Msg: 71
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Posted: 3/31/2015 5:34:56 PM

One gal stated in her profile that she was moving to this area from Maryland and I simply asked what part of MD and that I was from there (and specified the town). Unread/Deleted.

Karma is coming ... I know I'll be ok ;-)


Yes! Praise karma! Maybe some man will unread/delete one of her messages and grant you sweet, sweet revenge.

SMH
 ThePig0fYourDreams
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 72
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Posted: 3/31/2015 5:59:35 PM
Karma....haha. What a joke. I don't care who you are, what you do, what you did, what you plan to do, you're going to experience both the good and the bad in this world. There's no "tit for tat" system waiting to reward you for good, and punish you for the bad. You can believe in that silly kind of woo woo shit all you want, but life will show you otherwise.

But wishing it on someone just for not reading your message? For f*ck's sake, save your vengeful feelings for people who actually deserve it.

When will the bellyaching over not being acknowledged by strangers ever end?? Seriously, if someone not reading or replying to your messages is as bad as your day gets, the rest of it must be mighty stellar.

At the risk of sounding like a broken record, I'm going to say it again - send the damn message, and DON'T have another single thought about the person ever again unless they respond.

Damn.
 FL_G8RZ
Joined: 10/13/2014
Msg: 73
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Posted: 4/1/2015 9:21:46 AM
Wishing what on whom?
I just said "I know I'll be ok" - nowhere did I wish poor health, death or harm to anyone.

As for your advice - you make a good point to send it and forget it unless they respond.
It IS just a little frustrating when you write to someone who states they're looking for someone intelligent and you pen a well-written message, it's just "dismissed." I don't write "hi," "hey there," "hey sexy" or any of those short, worthless initial emails - just as a lot of women state they will delete.

Next go 'round, if I'm still on PoF, I'll just not pay so that way I can't see the status of the message. ;-)
 Eric_Summit
Joined: 11/3/2009
Msg: 74
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Posted: 4/1/2015 9:30:22 AM
Many have often suggested deleting your entire sent box so it is a surprise when an inbound message arrives.
If one thinks about it...there are lots of advantages and very few disadvantages to utilizing that technique. Worth a try!
 clooneystutor
Joined: 3/8/2015
Msg: 75
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Posted: 4/1/2015 12:56:59 PM
^^^
Good stuff.

I've often deleted conversations from my INBOX, that were read by the other party 3-7 days ago, with no response yet.

I used to be surprised at the fast response I got after I deleted the conversation. Typically within 24 hours.
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