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 savonarolaegmont
Joined: 3/26/2015
Msg: 76
Unread/DeletedPage 4 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
I save my letters sent before deleting them. On my hard drive. Because I think they are such great works of literary art.

Meeting anyone here has become a tertiary objective now. First I have to get a good laugh at my own expense. Then I have to create something -- I get uncomfortable if I don't ex-communicate often. (Ex-communicate: communicate outward, from my head out to other people. Hence "ex" -- out, outward, away.)

To be honest, I don't think i could even stand up any more to the serious and onerous task of being a "boy-friend". I am too old for that. I just watch my shows, make forum posts, and send out ardent love letters of literary merit to women, which every self-respecting woman in her right mind chucks without reading first.

This is a routine now that I would miss if I had to stop it.
 Eternityboreme
Joined: 3/18/2015
Msg: 77
Unread/Deleted
Posted: 4/1/2015 1:15:48 PM

As for your advice - you make a good point to send it and forget it unless they respond.
It IS just a little frustrating when you write to someone who states they're looking for someone intelligent and you pen a well-written message, it's just "dismissed." I don't write "hi," "hey there," "hey sexy" or any of those short, worthless initial emails - just as a lot of women state they will delete.


Believe it or not, you're not the only intelligent person on PoF and maybe they want somebody who's a little younger, likes chess, AND is intelligent.

If you're intelligent, why the hell do you think the world of dating makes revolutions around you -- it doesn't.

Sheesh. ****ing send the thing, forget about it, and move forward. It's a privilege to get a response; not a right.
 ThePig0fYourDreams
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 78
Unread/Deleted
Posted: 4/1/2015 1:31:07 PM

Wishing what on whom?
I just said "I know I'll be ok" - nowhere did I wish poor health, death or harm to anyone.


You mentioned karma, and weren't clear on what you meant. So, I took it as you wishing for the same experience on the women who delete your messages. If that wasn't the case, my apologies.


It IS just a little frustrating when you write to someone who states they're looking for someone intelligent


But it's very likely not the only attribute they're looking for. Hell, I like cheeseburgers. I can't very well assume that every women who likes cheeseburgers is going to find me appealing.
 CrookCatcher
Joined: 7/14/2014
Msg: 79
Unread/Deleted
Posted: 4/2/2015 6:36:29 AM

Because I think they are such great works of literary art.



and send out ardent love letters of literary merit to women


No doubt this is the appropriate site to pursue those endeavors. Ideal for perfecting the art of creating them, but maybe not so much for being appreciated for the effort?
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 80
Unread/Deleted
Posted: 4/2/2015 7:22:59 AM

It IS just a little frustrating when you write to someone who states they're looking for someone intelligent and you pen a well-written message, it's just "dismissed."


Regardless of intellect, there are many people who will automatically dismiss others who are less educated than themselves---e.g. if they have a Bachelor's Degree, they want someone who at least has a Bachelor's Degree. Sometimes, what people consider as "intelligent" can be subjective.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 81
Unread/Deleted
Posted: 4/2/2015 7:30:01 AM

Regardless of intellect, there are many people who will automatically dismiss others who are less educated than themselves---e.g. if they have a Bachelor's Degree, they want someone who at least has a Bachelor's Degree.


I always find this sort of thing interesting.
I'm in my 60's...I put high school on my profile.
While I'm constantly learning and I'm possibly slightly addicted to school and reading, etc., I don't find the need
to list whatever degrees and accomplishments I might have on a dating site profile.

I wouldn't dismiss someone because of their education or lack of it, or in some cases, in spite of it. If someone is
capable of an intelligent conversation, at this point in my life, I don't really care how many degrees he has. Someone
my age who needs to mention having a bachelor's degree they obtained back in the 70's, just isn't all that impressive to me.

Of course when you're younger, stuff like that might be important.
 clooneystutor
Joined: 3/8/2015
Msg: 82
Unread/Deleted
Posted: 4/2/2015 7:43:00 AM
There's some elite folks from a tribe called perfect. They've never been divorced, or married for that matter, and have advanced degrees.

Members of this tribe view outsiders as puerile.
 savonarolaegmont
Joined: 3/26/2015
Msg: 83
Unread/Deleted
Posted: 4/2/2015 11:23:55 AM

It IS just a little frustrating when you write to someone who states they're looking for someone intelligent and you pen a well-written message, it's just "dismissed."-----

Maybe the women you're writing to are sick and tired of explaining themselves to men who don't know how to take no for an answer without acting like whatever's left of their masculinity has been threatened. It's a lot safer to just ignore them. Sorry, we can't tell you apart from all the other men who gave us a ration of shit for turning you down after getting one of your well-written messages.


Well, I can sympathise with the feeling of loss and miserable frustration when I write a really long, really funny and yet deeply touching letter, and it gets deleted without reading.

My beef is not with being dismissed as a man, hey, any woman can do that, I don't need a gorgeous beauty for that. But I am pissed off as hell as a writer, that a half hour's worth of work went to waste. I don't want to date that desperately, but I do want to be heard when I say something, for crying out loud. "I want to hear from a inteligent man, and not just to say "hi" or "yo" or "bW?" I am an very inteligent women, so strap on your external brain packs, buddy, and write." Plus she looks like a Russian tennis star. So I write the blasted letter, only to have it go nowhere. It's exactly like writing to Santa Claus at his address at the North Pole when you're eight years of age. Total BS.
 savonarolaegmont
Joined: 3/26/2015
Msg: 84
Unread/Deleted
Posted: 4/2/2015 11:25:57 AM

No doubt this is the appropriate site to pursue those endeavors. Ideal for perfecting the art of creating them, but maybe not so much for being appreciated for the effort?


Dead on, buddy.

The problem is, I can't get inspired by the dry description of how to submit a poem or a story to a competition. But show me the picture of a decent-looking slim woman, and the creative juice flow in my veins like testosterone.
 SunshineGirl__
Joined: 10/7/2014
Msg: 85
Unread/Deleted
Posted: 4/2/2015 1:17:39 PM
Oh for cryin out loud. Who takes a half an hour to write an introductory message to a total stranger on a dating site?? Now you’re huffing and puffing in indignation because Santa didn’t give you what you wanted? I think that’s a really good comparison because your entitled attitude sounds just like a spoiled eight year old brat.

“You asked for an intelligent man, here I am!”

See, if you were really intelligent, you’d realize that women get to CHOOSE who they want to correspond with and who they want to date; we don’t have to accept the first guy who claims to be intelligent and probably plagiarized Wikipedia.

 SLAFFA
Joined: 8/13/2007
Msg: 86
Unread/Deleted
Posted: 4/2/2015 2:20:13 PM
OP, something you might want to keep in mind here is that your Q applies to any Forum question. Some people are better qualified to answer than others. I know the Forums contain "old fashioned women" who would never dream of contacting a man. They just "weren't raised that way" and/or "it's the man's job to pursue the woman". Last time I checked it's 2015. On the other hand, I am sure that some ladies here have sent at least a few emails if not dozens. I have no idea how carefully crafted and/or personal your emails were, or well suited to/for the recipient.

It's highly likely that people will lean one way or the other on email etiquette according to how much time and effort THEY put forth in sending emails if they sent ANY at all.

Is it any wonder that Fish of both flavors send/have resorted to sending a 5 second effort email to possibly multiple dozens of Fish at a crack? The shotgun approach. I'll just throw the biggest cast net that money can buy and see what lands in the net...

Late edit ...And don't believe everything you read here in these Forums. I asked almost every single woman I met in person or talked to on the phone about what is so often reported here. Almost w/o exception very few men wrote back to ladies whining about being "rejected" when the ladies answered the men's initial emails. I will make the assumption here that we are speaking of "nice effort" emails and not crude one liners.
 ThePig0fYourDreams
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 87
Unread/Deleted
Posted: 4/2/2015 2:21:15 PM
THIRTY MINUTES spent on a single message to a woman you don't even know?!?! Hell, it should be thirty SECONDS.

Dude, I'm going to put it bluntly.....stop. Just stop that. You have seen it's not getting you anywhere, so there's no need to continue doing it.

What the hell do you even say to them in these messages? I'm trying to imagine it.
 ThePig0fYourDreams
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 88
Unread/Deleted
Posted: 4/2/2015 2:26:53 PM

I'm in my 60's...I put high school on my profile.


Whoa, that caught me by surprise. I would have never guessed you were.

You're holding up quite well.
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 89
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Posted: 4/2/2015 4:08:55 PM
"Who takes a half hour to write an introductory message to a total stranger on a dating site?"

I do. What replies I've gotten have come from a personalized message I've sent. The short one liners that take 30 seconds to write do nothing. That's 30 seconds I'll never get back.

"Unless he's got a bachelors degree, he's not worth a reply"

Ok, I'm a tradesman. You know, those guys that really make the world work. One of those useless folks that makes your faucet work, your lights go on, your car run reliably, provide you with food, a dry place to live, the fashionable clothing that you wear once and throw at a clothing drive. Those useless, dumb folks that you look down your nose at. And pitch a fit at when they hand you a bill that you must pay? I'm one of those. A degree can't tell you why one lockset can accept three differently cut keys. I can. A degree can't unlock your car when you've locked your only set of keys inside it. I can. A degree can't open a safe with a broken combination lock. Much less even drill a hole in manganese steel, which is also called armor plate, which is bulletproof. Even if that degree got through it, It would have to defeat the re-lockers.

I'm a tradesman, and very proud of what I can do. Sorry, there are no degrees, no diplomas for those who can fix the everyday world. We just make your world a fit place to live, and make your life convenient. Please excuse us for being dirt under your feet.
 Eternityboreme
Joined: 3/18/2015
Msg: 90
Unread/Deleted
Posted: 4/2/2015 4:29:41 PM

If I make/take the time to write, women - interested or not - could make the time to, at least, read what I wrote. If I'm going down some rat-hole they don't care to traverse, then just delete it.

One gal stated in her profile that she was moving to this area from Maryland and I simply asked what part of MD and that I was from there (and specified the town). Unread/Deleted.


So? Maybe she was disgusted by your visage? Your profile? You'll never know and there's not a god-damned thing you can do about it.


Karma is coming ... I know I'll be ok ;-


What a sanctimonious little **stard. As if you actually matter.
 savonarolaegmont
Joined: 3/26/2015
Msg: 91
Unread/Deleted
Posted: 4/2/2015 4:33:37 PM
Oh for cryin out loud. Who takes a half an hour to write an introductory message to a total stranger on a dating site??
I do. And PurpleGuy as well, as I read.


Now you’re huffing and puffing in indignation because Santa didn’t give you what you wanted? I think that’s a really good comparison because your entitled attitude sounds just like a spoiled eight year old brat.
It's not exactly indignation I huff and puff for... although the emotion is strikingly similar. It is a loss of effort that I bemoan... the annihilation of effect before it has a chance to take.

“See, if you were really intelligent, you’d realize that women get to CHOOSE who they want to correspond with and who they want to date;
You're right about this. I agree. It's not dating I want, though, it's getting my letters read that I want. And not getting that "want", places me really, but really low on the totem pole... which is natural, I can accept that too, reluctantly. What really bothers me is that my letter does not get read, as that is the one thing I like to happen -- my posts and letters read.

we don’t have to accept the first guy who claims to be intelligent and probably plagiarized Wikipedia.
I am sorry, here you erred. There is way too much creativity in me. I abhor even repeating myself. I really detest using other people's expressions as mine -- it reminds me of wearing their dirty, discarded underwear, so I don't do that.

Now do a text search on that and tell me whom I plagiarized. Because that is one thing I need not do, want not to do, abhor and detest. All that because I can -- my mind is good and wide and roomy enough to not having to resort to plagiarism.

------------

The pig of your dreams, I appreciate your goodwill and good intentions, but this is what I do, because I need to do it... to get words out of my mind and send them to someone else. A lot of people do unnecessary and futile things... this is my shtick. Some people go to bars to pick up women, and they never do. Some people browse second hand bookstores, looking for a misplaced Shakespeare folio, and they never find one. Some people theorize how to create peace in the Middle East, and they die frustrated. Please allow me to live out my life the way I want it. Although I do really see your good intentions.

My pain is not that I don't meet women. My pain is when a letter gets erased before getting read.

But. BUT!!! There is HOPE. Or, rather, there is BLISS. Because now the system does not tell you any more "it was discarded without being read." The system asks for money to give you this information.

So I had a brilliant plan: I don't give money to the system, and I am a happier person, because I am no longer ASSURED that the fate of my letter was a discard without getting read first.

Everybody is happy, and I save money on top of that.

I thank the good man owner of this site to have the gesture of pleasing me and satisfying my special want in one sweeping policy change.
 Eternityboreme
Joined: 3/18/2015
Msg: 92
Unread/Deleted
Posted: 4/2/2015 4:36:03 PM

OP, something you might want to keep in mind here is that your Q applies to any Forum question. Some people are better qualified to answer than others. I know the Forums contain "old fashioned women" who would never dream of contacting a man. They just "weren't raised that way" and/or "it's the man's job to pursue the woman". Last time I checked it's 2015.


If somebody doesn't write to you when they saw/read your profile, chances are they're disinterested.It's indeed 2015. and on sites like these, the women -- even average women -- have the power of choice.

If you want a date, you'll have to reach high and earn it...unless you're among the many of bottom-feeders who'd take the most desperate of desperate people who'd settle for giving quicky BJ and is settled being recompensed with nothing other than a bad memory of you.
 Eternityboreme
Joined: 3/18/2015
Msg: 93
Unread/Deleted
Posted: 4/2/2015 4:41:14 PM
I appreciate when a man takes the time to send a thoughtful e-mail. Half of people who write to me, do it. Unfortunately, some of them didn't really bother to read my profile before sending itand see that I seek long term rather than a casual arrangement. I do afford a thank you, when appropriate -- but not more than that. Others I ignore it completely, depending on what I read.

Do you think every well-written reply I send out is appreciated or even counts toward a date for me? No -- he might be chasing somebody else's tail and completely ignore me. I still write them with that risk that I may not get another response, date, or even a late reply and by late I mean by two weeks (in which case it's always a thanks, but no thanks), because eventually, someone will appreciate my words and effort.
 savonarolaegmont
Joined: 3/26/2015
Msg: 94
Unread/Deleted
Posted: 4/2/2015 4:48:47 PM

What a sanctimonious little **stard. As if you actually matter.


Yeah, phk. This little trd way overthinks his own human worth. If he only realized the true insignificance of his own being!! It's about time he did. Totally frustrating, that a woman of your stature has to share the universe with such inconsequential existential smudges.

I agree with you, Existential Giantess, people who are that small, should crawl into their own behinds, and eat their own brains up by progressing from the backside, until there is nothing left of them in this space-time coordinate system.

Yeah, phk.
 ThePig0fYourDreams
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 95
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Posted: 4/2/2015 5:11:11 PM

The pig of your dreams, I appreciate your goodwill and good intentions, but this is what I do, because I need to do it... to get words out of my mind and send them to someone else. A lot of people do unnecessary and futile things... this is my shtick.


Ok, so writing is therapeutic for you in a sense?? I can understand that.

However, is a dating site ( a place where you're actually hoping to succeed) the best place for the "unnecessary and futile"? This goes back to my saying people tend to forget why they are here. I would be more focused on what has better odds of being effective.

If you're spending half an hour on a single message to a woman, I'd venture to say it has to be exceptionally lengthy, yes?
"To each their own" and all that jazz, but I don't really think overwhelming someone with paragraphs of text is the best way to make an introduction.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 96
Unread/Deleted
Posted: 4/2/2015 5:16:54 PM
The long winded messages and poems spook me more than a simple SUP
Not that many brilliant wordsmiths - although I do now know what rhymes with FRIDAY..
VoDKA.
This one poem I received was Criminal Minds worthy. He was annoyed I did not thank him. I couldn't I was too busy locking all the doors and nailing windows shut
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 97
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Posted: 4/2/2015 7:02:57 PM
Some are quick to point out that any message requiring thought, and some time to compose, is wasted at best. Then, I'm guessing that most women aren't interested in any man that would actually try to make an impression. Makes me want to go schedule up an appointment with a professional photographer, and then have them altered to improve my looks. As long as I have to put up phony photos, I may as well go and embellish my profile. Lemme see, should I be CEO of some major corporation? Or some hotshot lawyer? I'd say doctor, but I get squeamish in the sight of blood. Any suggestions?
 Kay9876
Joined: 7/4/2012
Msg: 98
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Posted: 4/2/2015 7:44:39 PM

Msg. 105: Some are quick to point out that any message requiring thought, and some time to compose, is wasted at best. Then, I'm guessing that most women aren't interested in any man that would actually try to make an impression. Makes me want to go schedule up an appointment with a professional photographer, and then have them altered to improve my looks. As long as I have to put up phony photos, I may as well go and embellish my profile. Lemme see, should I be CEO of some major corporation? Or some hotshot lawyer? I'd say doctor, but I get squeamish in the sight of blood. Any suggestions?

Few men post photos of themselves doing things that turn women on. For example, most men who have had a reasonably good relationship learn that among the sexiest things a man can do is work that makes a woman's life easier. Fixing a leaky faucet, assembling a complicated "anything," washing dishes, or cooking ... heavenly.

There is a catch, though. Women can pay for all the above. The sexiest men have things that can't be bought, like good character and wisdom. If you can get a woman to like your “sexy” pics enough to read your email, then you’ll have a better chance of showing the side of you that money can’t buy.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 99
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Posted: 4/2/2015 8:55:56 PM
Okay, I could tell you why so many women aren't interested after getting a long, drawn out prose from you, surely filled with all the wonders that are you and what you are about and all that jazz, but considering how many here have tried to tell you, you wouldn't listen to me either. So, let's go back to they don't care, they aren't interested, nothing you whine about here will ever change it. They are not interested, and nobody owes you anything.
 clooneystutor
Joined: 3/8/2015
Msg: 100
Unread/Deleted
Posted: 4/2/2015 9:07:08 PM
MSG 106 is wise indeed :)
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