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 2014Luckyme
Joined: 1/13/2014
Msg: 101
Unread/DeletedPage 5 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
Not taking things personally is probably the best option, I don't think anyone here is devoted to making others miserable in any way, everyone is looking for different things.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 102
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Posted: 4/3/2015 6:49:31 AM

Whoa, that caught me by surprise. I would have never guessed you were.

You're holding up quite well.


Thank you for the compliment, Mr. Pig! :o)

OT: I guess people need to do what they need to do, just so long as they don't complain
when it doesn't work and people suggest they do otherwise. My attention span is sort of
short unless I'm wicked interested or engaged. I'm not likely to read a long first email,
just as I can often times not read an entire blog posted here.

Don't take OLD personally, it's not for everyone.
 clooneystutor
Joined: 3/8/2015
Msg: 103
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Posted: 4/3/2015 8:10:52 AM
^^^
I've read a lot about communism, feminism and ADHD this morning.

Entire manifestos.

Just how does one cite PoF as a scholarly source in APA format?
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 104
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Posted: 4/3/2015 9:18:15 AM

I've read a lot about communism, feminism and ADHD this morning.

Entire manifestos.

Just how does one cite PoF as a scholarly source in APA format?




rony666, Metal (2015) ADHD, Dyslexia and PTSD How to Deal with Someone Like This When Dating
Dating Experiences, 5 (5), 104-106. http://forums.plentyoffish.com/16374836datingPostpage5.aspx

*snort*
:o)
 clooneystutor
Joined: 3/8/2015
Msg: 105
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Posted: 4/3/2015 9:23:43 AM
Damn!

You've done this before Boo? lmao
 savonarolaegmont
Joined: 3/26/2015
Msg: 106
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Posted: 4/3/2015 10:29:11 AM

Please allow me to live out my life the way I want it. Although I do really see your good intentions.

My pain is not that I don't meet women. My pain is when a letter gets erased before getting read.

Then you must be some kind of a masochist. Not that there's anything wrong with that. But if you don't actually enjoy your self-inflicted pain, a simple solution would be to post the words you need to get out in a place where people actually want to read them. Twitter, some blog site, the "creative writing" section here, et cetera.


This is good advice. Thank you.

I know it's good advice because I'm doing it already. :-)

I post all over the place, under different aliases, and life is wonderful.

I get super angry when a censor erases my posts. I get frustrated when I know a woman erased my letter before reading it. This latter does not happen any longer, because nobody tells me what happens to my letters. That's an improvement, thank goodness.

I get banned from websites some of the time, for radical posting.

I think I could have done with a similar thing all the way since back 40-45 years ago until today, very blissfully.
 Grl_next_door
Joined: 6/28/2014
Msg: 107
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Posted: 4/3/2015 10:29:34 AM

What a sanctimonious little **stard. As if you actually matter


Whoa...really?
 savonarolaegmont
Joined: 3/26/2015
Msg: 108
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Posted: 4/3/2015 10:35:56 AM

Okay, I could tell you why so many women aren't interested after getting a long, drawn out prose from you,


I guess for the same reason that they are not interested before getting a long , drawn out prose from me.

They are also not interested before or after my sending short messages.

This is actually a moot point for me. I know I am not interesting to women as a dating subject. So big deal. Some people can't become presidents of the US of A, and they somehow learn to live with that, too. Some people want to become the pope, and look at them now. Still others want to become anyone but themselves, but they stopped trying.

Similarly, I don't bark up trees. Stopped doing that. I just get a hoarse voice, and it makes my bark worse than my bark before the voice got hoarse.

Nobody likes a barking black dog with the voice of a white horse, under a tree. Esp. if the person trying to ignore the barking is sitting IN the tree.
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 109
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Posted: 4/3/2015 10:40:14 AM

Not that many brilliant wordsmiths - although I do now know what rhymes with FRIDAY..
VoDKA.


And there it IS!!!!
Today's 'funny' courtesy of Ouija....

Thanks hun, I actually SNORTED on that one!!!!

Have a great week end.... ;-)
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 110
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Posted: 4/3/2015 11:11:20 AM
Like I said, you have no interest here other than to lash out and feel you've been wronged.
 SLAFFA
Joined: 8/13/2007
Msg: 111
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Posted: 4/3/2015 12:33:54 PM
Well, Big Fish is a pretty bright guy. Maybe he decided to remove that feature [checking on emails] from the masses in an attempt to keep folks on the site longer? It WAS Markus who on 3/6/09 8:34 am declared [more ore less] that it likely would not effect Forum members [offering upgrades] because they were...

"3. Forum users for the most part aren't serious daters, they don't send as many messages, they are far more picky, don't respond etc. The average dater stays 5 months average Forum user is 3 + years."

Does that ^^^ help any?
 SunshineGirl__
Joined: 10/7/2014
Msg: 112
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Posted: 4/3/2015 1:18:43 PM

It's not exactly indignation I huff and puff for... although the emotion is strikingly similar. It is a loss of effort that I bemoan... the annihilation of effect before it has a chance to take.


So if a woman reads/deletes that’s okay for you?

The “effect” isn’t gonna take. You need to write for your audience, who seems to be, YOU. So start a diary. Strangers don’t want to read your mental refuse. And women don’t want to date it.


You're right about this. I agree. It's not dating I want, though, it's getting my letters read that I want.


Have you considered self publishing? Why are you bothering women on a dating site with this stuff??

Btw….when women unread/delete, the only thing it could possibly be based on, as far as what has been sent to her and is visible, is the primary pic.


Now do a text search on that and tell me whom I plagiarized. Because that is one thing I need not do, want not to do, abhor and detest. All that because I can -- my mind is good and wide and roomy enough to not having to resort to plagiarism.


But others have to give a sh!t to read what you have to say in the first place. You don’t seem to get that. You ARE repeating yourself, just using different words to say the same thing. Displaying arrogance doesn’t prove you’re smart.

I didn’t accuse you of plagiarism. You aren’t the only man on here who claims to be intelligent, didn’t you know that? And plenty of men DO plagiarize on here. You’re not as unique as you think you are. The “women claim to want, blah blah blah, but they ignore me….!!!” whine is really really old.


Nobody likes a barking black dog with the voice of a white horse, under a tree. Esp. if the person trying to ignore the barking is sitting IN the tree.


Uh huh. Your stream of consciousness may be fascinating to you, but it won’t be to anyone else because you are your own audience and you don’t care about anyone but yourself.

So
 Kay9876
Joined: 7/4/2012
Msg: 113
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Posted: 4/3/2015 1:37:58 PM


Msg. 120: It WAS Markus who on 3/6/09 8:34 am declared [more ore less] that it likely would not effect Forum members [offering upgrades] because they were... Forum users for the most part aren't serious daters, they don't send as many messages, they are far more picky, don't respond etc. The average dater stays 5 months average Forum user is 3 + years."

^^^ Ouch!

Trust me, Markus. I'm seriously looking for a compatible partner. I've dated here and there, but The One is elusive.
:(


Msg. 121: Btw….when women unread/delete, the only thing it could possibly be based on, as far as what has been sent to her and is visible, is the primary pic.

^^^ That is true for some women. Others (like me) will click the profile first to get a sense of the sender's personality and situation before reading the email. I check for location, age, personality, general interests, etc., as well as what can be seen in the photos. Maybe I'm unusual, but if I see an email in my POF mailbox, I always read it. I respond to 99.9% of first-contacts. How I respond depends on his profile and email.
 savonarolaegmont
Joined: 3/26/2015
Msg: 114
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Posted: 4/3/2015 2:17:19 PM

^^^ That is true for some women. Others (like me) will click the profile first to get a sense of the sender's personality and situation before reading the email. I check for location, age, personality, general interests, etc., as well as what can be seen in the photos. Maybe I'm unusual, but if I see an email in my POF mailbox, I always read it. I respond to 99.9% of first-contacts. How I respond depends on his profile and email.


This is quite a lot of work. Wouldn't it be easier to read the blasted letter, and then delete the feller?

Because, it seems you are fighting a Quixotic battle... so far the windmills are winning.

One question: do you enjoy the process at all? The process of trying to find the "one". If you don't enjoy the process, then your work is really noble and commendable, to do so much stuff for the one glorious ending which is still elusive. You must be a hard worker.

On the other hand, if you enjoy the process, then maybe you've been swallowed up by the process... without your realizing it.
 savonarolaegmont
Joined: 3/26/2015
Msg: 115
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Posted: 4/3/2015 2:28:21 PM
Sunshine Gurl, It is interesting what you write there. I respectfully disagree with your conclusions, as you have come to the wrong one each time. But that does not take away from the fact that you gave it so much time and effort to deal with my case.

You've shown more caring and concern about my well-being, even by being negative, and not even being truthful in order to bring out the negative, than anyone else for a long time, when you went into all that work of matching quotes from me to your conclusions. And a lot of work it was for you, because you had to create some (non-working) logic and insert it into there, that made your post seemingly work (and yet it did not. Insiders who know the real situation realize that).

Thank you for thinking about me in such depth.
 savonarolaegmont
Joined: 3/26/2015
Msg: 116
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Posted: 4/3/2015 3:05:30 PM
Sunshine Girl, I created the following post for your edification. It shows in detail why I claimed that your logic was wrong. I took your letter, line-by-line, and objectively compared to reality, to facts, and the result of the analysis is as follows below.

Before you read it: several spots you attribute things to me as my having said, whereas I did not say or claim those things. You probably got the idea I said those, because passages in the quotes I quoted from others, (and clearly marked as quotes) you attributed to me as my being the original person to claim them. That was a forgivable mistake, and if you painstakingly go back to just one or two pages, and scrutinize the foregoing, you will see that I am not making this up, that I am actually gently reminding your of the truth.

I don't need an apology, or admission of errors, by you, my ONLY wish with this analysis is to show you how your logic was false, and then to ask you, and I humbly beg you, to next time be more precise with the contents of your claims, and please do not mix up references of who said what, because that can lead you to commit grave mistakes in logic.

So, here's the analysis:

"You are your own audience and you don’t care about anyone but yourself. "
-- well, you are part of the audience as well, since you read every word I write. Thanks!! Thanks for caring about me.

"The “effect” isn’t gonna take. "
--- I don't beleive you actually understand what I mean by "effect".

"You need to write for your audience, who seems to be, YOU. So start a diary. Strangers don’t want to read your mental refuse."
-- YOU seem to be hanging on every word I write. (I appreciate that, tremendously, by the way. Thanks.) I am not the only audience of me.

"Why are you bothering women on a dating site with this stuff?? "
-- wrong logic. If they delete my messages without reading it, I am not bothering them.
== With the same logic of yours, most men are bothering women here, with letters, that is, the same way. So your suggestion amounts to getting rid of all men who bother women, which is getting rid of all men who write letters... but hey, the only way to reach people here is writing letters (i.e. messages)... so what you are suggesting is a dating site populated with women, and all men excluded from it, that is, those men who bother women with letters or messages.

"I didn’t accuse you of plagiarism. "
-- you did. Read your own post, you said I probably plagiarized Wiki.

"You aren’t the only man on here who claims to be intelligent, didn’t you know that?"
-- where did I claim to be intelligent? You again cite a fact that never actually occurred. Someone whom I quoted in my post said "women want someone intelligent, but..." this was not written by me, and it was not germane to my message. Second lie by you, to justify your worng logic.

"You’re not as unique as you think you are. "
-- well, someone is either unique, or not. There are no gradients of uniqueness. Your statement is nonsensical here.

"The “women claim to want, blah blah blah, but they ignore me….!!!” whine is really really old"
-- a strawman fallacy. You put words in your mouth, as I never said or claimed the above, and then you proved the thing I never said ridiculous, and insinuate that I am ridiculous.

0000000000
An overview of your logical constructs via this example of a quote:
"I didn’t accuse you of plagiarism. And plenty of men DO plagiarize on here. You’re not as unique as you think you are. The “women claim to want, blah blah blah, but they ignore me….!!!” whine is really really old."

What you did here, in the name of false logic, was, conceptually put:
- you intorduced a lie, followed it up with a lumping together, or improper generalization, taking your own generalization as proof,whereas it is not, followed by a nonsensical statement by semantic value, followed by a strawman argument.

You can't claim any conclusion on a logical line of reasoning that ill-conceived, and yet you did.
 Kay9876
Joined: 7/4/2012
Msg: 117
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Posted: 4/3/2015 3:24:29 PM

Msg. 123 (in response to msg. 122): This is quite a lot of work. Wouldn't it be easier to read the blasted letter, and then delete the feller? Because, it seems you are fighting a Quixotic battle... so far the windmills are winning.

One question: do you enjoy the process at all? The process of trying to find the "one". If you don't enjoy the process, then your work is really noble and commendable, to do so much stuff for the one glorious ending which is still elusive. You must be a hard worker. On the other hand, if you enjoy the process, then maybe you've been swallowed up by the process... without your realizing it.

I read profiles before reading emails because I think it’s fair to get to know a little about people who have taken the time to write to me. I respond to almost all emails because I know that men who write to me are human with feelings, hopes, and dreams. If they’ve said nice things to me, then I want to return the kindness.

In answer to your question, it’s not a matter of whether I enjoy the process of looking for The One. It’s a matter of the necessity of it. Getting dates is easy to do. Finding someone who is compatible for a long-term relationship is challenging. I suppose I could lose hope and walk away from the process, but I’m not the kind to give up on things that are important to me.

In a way, we’re opposites, savonarolaegmont. You write in order to be read. I read in order to write.

 Eternityboreme
Joined: 3/18/2015
Msg: 118
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Posted: 4/4/2015 10:44:19 AM

There is a catch, though. Women can pay for all the above. The sexiest men have things that can't be bought, like good character and wisdom. If you can get a woman to like your “sexy” pics enough to read your email, then you’ll have a better chance of showing the side of you that money can’t buy.


Of course!

However, that would require him (any concerned man) to exert effort in how they treat their date: like providing dinner in a comfortable, clean establishment of good repute without invoking the crass idiom "going dutch"'...bringing flowers or some other (appreciated) token of his appreciation...offering to pay for the babysitter if she has children...complimenting her on her hair, perhaps (that she went to great lengths to prepare for him)...ensuring she's warm or cool) in his car and bringing her to and from said establishment safely and courteously ...without expecting a piece of ass...presenting himself as an articulate, well-dressed and well-maintained man whose attention is bestowed on her enthusiastically and genuinely.

As it were, the average (below average) PoF man in the lower rungs of the site (and that's vast territory) doesn't bother; he's too busy whining about his former wife, staring at his date's breasts, feeling entitled, and moaning about paying for a $2 fkucking cup of coffee whilst usurping her time, when she could be finding somebody more eligible who doesn't show donning a beer-stained T-Shirt.
 remoh99
Joined: 6/21/2014
Msg: 119
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Posted: 5/10/2015 9:40:41 PM
Just IMHO, I have written POF about this. My suggestion was to ask them this; why can't they set up a simple clickable "no thank you" or "sorry we are not a match" button to send the recipient? I feel this would be a decent way to solve both sides. On one hand, the women who are overwhelmed can just click this and it sends a message back that they are not interested. The men who write to them will at least get an understanding of a response. It seems like there is not much difference between no response and a auto response, but I think it is better.
Sorry if I am too hung up on courtesy and respect, but I and do understand the women's side of things and respect that too.
 LuvinOC
Joined: 8/17/2015
Msg: 120
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Posted: 8/24/2015 3:03:36 PM
I am perplexed by the unread, deleted thing as well. But....I'm offering a different aspect to this curiosity. My scenario is from a girl that indicated interest in me. I had a girl that showed up as "wants to meet" on my POF. So I send a short message and it gets deleted, unread.

Okay....I can see where a girl doesn't put a lot of thought into choosing "wants to meet", then after getting a message, instead of opening the message, she opens the profile, having a second, more thorough look decides not interested and just deletes the message. But that's pretty strange. I mean I get a message, I want to see what it says, takes a second, then I'll re-look at the profile.

Any other ideas as to why a girl would click on the "wants to meet" then delete my message unread, like to hear your thoughts?

Anyway, it's frustrating but I'll just take them off my favorites and move on.
 Moderate_Recall
Joined: 3/1/2015
Msg: 121
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Posted: 8/24/2015 3:16:06 PM

Any other ideas as to why a girl would click on the "wants to meet" then delete my message unread, like to hear your thoughts?

Anyway, it's frustrating but I'll just take them off my favorites and move on.


There is NO "maybe" message here on POF "wants to meet".

There IS a "maybe" button ( or there used to be ) that just has the exact SAME effect as a "YES" button click.

So "Meet me" is basically useless.

The attractive ladies can glance at the thumbnail pics, going down their list of 50-75 daily inbox messages, and then just click "delete". It saves them a few hours a day of reading and sorting.

Just FYI.
 ClooneysMentor
Joined: 8/2/2015
Msg: 122
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Posted: 8/24/2015 6:59:08 PM
Male logic is illogical here.

Repeat the above.
 PassionateSunnyGal
Joined: 7/23/2015
Msg: 123
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Posted: 8/24/2015 10:01:07 PM
The girl only gets to see your pictures in the "wants to meet" but after reading your profile she realized that there was something there that she had no desire to become involved with...could be smokers, or you could have used a "trigger" word she finds offensive like "fun" lol etc..so she liked your looks but didn't like your profile..

Now if someone can explain why guys add me to their favorites and never write and if I write them--never respond but keep me on their favorites!
 biggdaddy_42
Joined: 12/10/2006
Msg: 124
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Posted: 9/6/2015 1:26:08 PM
What if I was a millionair and was giving away money I guess the woman that unread/delete wouldn't get any. Another words they are shallow, rude,and full of themselves. That's not the type of woman anyone should want to date.
 SLAFFA
Joined: 8/13/2007
Msg: 125
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Posted: 9/7/2015 9:01:36 AM
It used to be that even FREE members could see exactly what the opposite sex did with emails.

Now, one needs to be a paid member to "know what happened" to it.

Improvement or not?

This issue is not very complicated, whether one can see what happened to their messages or not. Most folks on this site both male and female have no concept of "leaving the campsite cleaner than you found it" but that's to be expected on a FREE Dating site.

And for the record, I HAVE discussed their Fish experience with almost every woman I met. With very few exceptions, MOST don't get the outrageous # of emails claimed here - at least on a continuous basis - although it is possible. Regardless of the location or population, it boils down to the amount of competition. Also MOST don't get nasty emails back from men who they have turned away. It's likely the manner in which they rejected them. Most of the ones I did photo shoots for, showed me their mailboxes.

"One bad apple"... comes to mind. Some will never understand that concept but it IS a convenient excuse especially on this site.

A guys's best bet on this site [unless he simply wants to drive himself insane/become bitter] is to write the best profile he can, have at least 2 or 3 "good pics", rotate his main pic at least daily/login to his mailbox to show up as ONline. Last login is easy to check even for FREE members and gives one more authenticity to ladies who have no issue initiating contact.

And NO, not every email deserves a written response but some do.

IFFF someone is getting "too many" emails, [and is looking for a LTR] they need to refine their profile a bit or at least throw in a few cookies to help eliminate the riffraff. That's what profiles are for.

Do people who don't/won't read a profile deserve a response? How serious can they be?
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