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 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 290
the Sonny testPage 13 of 14    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)

Now if she reaches over and locks the door....that tells you something. ;)


Yes.

She has put you on the same level as Cujo.
 11qq
Joined: 7/17/2015
Msg: 291
the Sonny test
Posted: 8/18/2015 7:06:25 PM
I admit to doing tests. the doorknob test is something I only find interesting. but I do observe it.

I can be a tool (all the forum people say at once "NOOOO SHYT!!")

but sometimes i'm a tool on purpose, especially at first. that's my test.
if a woman can forgive me when she hardly knows me, she'll surely forgive me when she loves me.
that's the kind of woman I want.
 fordssucklol
Joined: 8/16/2015
Msg: 292
Red flags
Posted: 8/20/2015 1:04:49 PM
when they cant always see u, that means they married,
 6146Catch
Joined: 7/1/2015
Msg: 293
Red flags
Posted: 8/20/2015 6:27:37 PM
Biggest red flag: she does online dating at all.
Other red flags:
She believes men who have indoor hobbies are "creepers" (yes, we all make shrunken heads in our basements).
She goes on and on about all the countries she's visited (and next she wants to visit other planets).
Has kids.
Describes herself as if she's the greatest thing since the wheel was invented, yet she has a dead-end job and is fat with a nose like a carrot.
Has some high-paying career and everything except a man... RUN!!!
Has one or more profile pics of herself and a couple of friends all drunk together in some club.
Most or all of her profile pics are selfies.
Some of her profile pics are of her animal(s) without her in the pic.
"I want a man who can make me laugh"... well maybe she and her club friends should start going to comedy clubs so she can meet comedians.

BTW why is it that women all want to meet a man who can make them laugh, but when women do some careless thing that men find funny, they get so angry when men laugh at them?
 Peas_
Joined: 5/2/2015
Msg: 294
Red flags
Posted: 8/20/2015 8:08:56 PM
spreadsheets
hoarders house
doesn't take care of animals
religious
smells like mold
green or brown teeth
......etc...
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 295
view profile
History
Red flags
Posted: 8/22/2015 1:00:23 AM

A "red flag," for me, is something that indicates crazy, immoral/unethical, or really bad judgment--things that could affect not my happiness, but that might also affect my job, finances, health, or, god forbid, my kids.

That's more of a "red alert", not so much a "red flag". A "red flag" is something that sticks out as a clear indicator of incompatibility and/or drama & issues one may face. It sort of foreshadows situational or personality problems that would be exposed if you went dating down that road. Doesn't require extremes...

1. No profile picture or feels the need to not display it to the public on a dating site.

I don't agree with this. Some gals won't put their picture up publicly because they may be a high school teacher... or have pics set as private and don't want the world to see, and she may take the first step and show them to guys she's interested in. I think that's just fine.

but sometimes i'm a tool on purpose, especially at first. that's my test.
if a woman can forgive me when she hardly knows me, she'll surely forgive me when she loves me.

I don't know if that's the best dating tactic... I can see throwing things out there as to how you are that may turn some off... like sense of humor. Deep into a lengthy date when the comfort zone is 100%, throwing out a joke or two that some may find offensive and some may find hilarious, to get a readout of her sensitivity & humor.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 296
view profile
History
Red flags
Posted: 8/22/2015 8:07:38 AM

Peas
Spreadsheets

You really, really wouldn’t like me. I once wrote a spreadsheet like program, ran under Windows 3.1. Hell, I once wrote a DBMS in Fortran, ran on a Sperry Univac mainframe. Later ported to a Cray XMP super computer. Yep, I’m really undateable. Excuse me, I have to go and get ready for my date tonight…
 Onepercustomer
Joined: 9/16/2014
Msg: 297
view profile
History
Red flags
Posted: 8/22/2015 8:12:50 AM
Not sure if this was a typo.

But a woman can be single (Unmarried and not attached to anyone) AND have children.

*Cheers to the Single Moms*
 Peas_
Joined: 5/2/2015
Msg: 298
Red flags
Posted: 8/22/2015 9:41:28 AM



Spreadsheets

You really, really wouldn’t like me. I once wrote a spreadsheet like program, ran under Windows 3.1. Hell, I once wrote a DBMS in Fortran, ran on a Sperry Univac mainframe. Later ported to a Cray XMP super computer. Yep, I’m really undateable. Excuse me, I have to go and get ready for my date tonight…


Oh, I'm not so sure about that. I'm sure you could be a quality man....I should have clarified that to be "spreadsheets on past dates or potential dates"....nothing like a black book, this would be more in depth, I'm sure. I wasn't talking about resume work...

I watched a documentary on PBS once about American men seeking specifically Asian women on the internet. They followed a man who married an Asian woman. This was after about 20 or so failed attempts online with other Asian women. He was a real dweeb. He kept all his past communications with the other women. When his wife found them, she had a humungous blow up. She actually left him and stayed with his relatives for a short while until he deleted all his past...."data". She freaked over it, as she rightly should've.

VVV ok, more clarification....ah, REJECT. American women reject these fellas.

Here's the documentary:
http://www.pbs.org/independentlens/seeking-asian-female/
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 299
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History
Red flags
Posted: 8/22/2015 9:52:28 AM

This was after about 20 or so failed attempts online with other Asian women. He was a real dweeb.


HAHA-- I believed everything until you said the above. Apparently, they like dweebs, as VK regularly mentions. That was so un PC for me!
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 300
view profile
History
Red flags
Posted: 8/22/2015 1:04:35 PM

I should have clarified that to be "spreadsheets on past dates or potential dates"....nothing like a black book, this would be more in depth, I'm sure.

I would strongly think the other way around. Vying for a spreadsheet would be begging for extra data, rather than just a black book. Why would keeping track of potential dates from different sites & IRL be bad? I've always kicked myself thinking "Gawd, I need a spreadsheet or something to not miss the the opportunity for one to spread on my sheets...," as when juggling too many at once when unorganized, one can fall thru the crack. :) I mean, that's what spreadsheets are for -- organization and data, right?

All word-jokes aside, one can find themselves juggling many who are just potentials which can turn into the early-dating phase, while handling others. Better than forgetting to call a guy or gal, or double-booking a date or meetup, right? Also, I don't see the harm in not deleting past situations and categorizing what happened for the girls (or guys) someone deals with during the singles/dating scene. It's probably unnecessary for many who don't juggle a lot, but any data is good data...

They followed a man who married an Asian woman. This was after about 20 or so failed attempts online with other Asian women. He was a real dweeb. He kept all his past communications with the other women.

Like recorded voice & texts? Yeah, a bit too much. A spreadsheet on his hard drive of gals he was juggling, after he's clearly settled down? Sure, delete it. But to say using a spreadsheet to keep track and manage your dating situation (and not deleting ones that fell thru for data purposes to notice any trends) = being like that guy is just guilt by association.

I think the only issue would be "Gee, how many girls/guys are you juggling right now?"
 dragonbytes
Joined: 12/25/2014
Msg: 301
Red flags
Posted: 8/22/2015 1:30:36 PM
Peas_

Oh, I'm not so sure about that. I'm sure you could be a quality man....I should have clarified that to be "spreadsheets on past dates or potential dates"....nothing like a black book, this would be more in depth, I'm sure. I wasn't talking about resume work...


So have you had this spreadsheet red flag for a long time or is it pretty recent?

Have you dated any men that had a spreadsheet on potential dates? How did they behave differently? Did they use a spreadsheet, database, or buy contact management software?

Perhaps this is related to the rant some have about computers / cell phones and technology replacing face to face in person meetings at church functions, singles bars and meet up groups? I personally think it's often a luddite sort of reaction to the world changing. But maybe they have a point, maybe the old ways are better.
 Peas_
Joined: 5/2/2015
Msg: 302
Red flags
Posted: 8/22/2015 4:12:32 PM

So have you had this spreadsheet red flag for a long time

Yeah, pretty much since I was in college and was the CIS lab tech for our program....and was librarian too in the college, you see a lot of weirdos on the computers. Not for studies. For behavioral obsessions. OCD's.

NSA would have a field day with these guys. I daresay the OLD employees too.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 303
view profile
History
Red flags
Posted: 8/27/2015 9:46:06 PM
You are ranting on about judgemental people and yet you are being judgemental yourself. Do you not see the irony Galactic Explorer lol!! It is all about the picture and the stats. Not rocket science...
 CrookCatcher
Joined: 7/14/2014
Msg: 304
Red flags
Posted: 8/29/2015 12:03:30 PM

Red Flags:
[ 1] - Still hangs out with the Ex and there are no non-adult children.
[ 2] - Still friends with her former FWB/FB.
[ 3] - Kids that are poorly behaved.
[ 4] - Wears several past engagement/wedding rings like a headhunter wears trophy kills.
[ 5] - Gets drunk to the point of being out of control... blackouts, flirting, loud mouth, fighting and such.
[ 6] - Heavy drug use.
[ 7] - Smokes
[ 8] - Strong Religious beliefs.
[ 9] - Crazy
[10]- Hoarder
[11]- Goes to Karaoke. Sings all the songs about hating men. Cant understand why she's single.
[12]- Everything is someone else's fault.


Ahh....you're the one that dated my ex. ;)
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 305
view profile
History
Red flags
Posted: 8/29/2015 5:45:28 PM
If by dweebs you mean that they are men that can be manipulated, exploited and pushed around, then yes it has been my experience that some Asians will go for that. If the man is older, all the more is he putty in their hands. Does love have anything to do with it all?? Maybe in some cases.
 O2Z0
Joined: 9/9/2016
Msg: 306
Red flags
Posted: 9/17/2016 6:27:46 PM
People who say they've been on POF for over 2 years and still haven't found anyone.
 Shewymacfee
Joined: 4/2/2016
Msg: 307
Red flags
Posted: 9/18/2016 1:55:10 PM
Red Flags for me are as below.

1: Says she has 3 kids, then in the profile states she is a Virgin.

2: Women who keep deleting their profiles then persistently come back on here,,,,,,,,, Whenever they want a really nice meal, They just start dating again.

3: Gold diggers,,,,, Be the kind they want to marry, not the kind they date. So on our first date I’d nag the member for a new dishwasher. car, new plasma TV Etc

4: Liars,,,, I made the mistake of telling my date a lie about myself, and she caught me. I didn’t think she’d actually demand to see the bat cave.

5: When they mention sex in the first message,,,,,,, Guy: You’re the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen,,,,,,,Girl: You just want to have sex with me,,,,,,,, Guy: Wow, you’re smart too, I like that.

6: Saying they are in high profile jobs,,,,,,,, MMMMmmmm!!! I like to dating schoolteachers. If you do something wrong, they make you do it all over again.

7: When they send you are dumped messages like,,,,,,, It’s not you, it’s me. I just need to stop dating losers,,,,, My meds don’t interact with you very well ,,,,, or lastly, I don't have a boyfriend. But I do know a man who'd be mad at me for saying that.

8: When they say,,,,,, Can we still be friends? ,,, suerly everyone knows that this is the first complete sentence all little girls learn.

9: When they keep interrupting you ,,, There is no cure when they suffer from premature interjection

10: When you are old like me and are a member of a dating site, does that make me suffer from carbon dating?
 PrettyBr0wnEyed1
Joined: 7/5/2016
Msg: 308
Red flags
Posted: 10/11/2016 3:56:55 AM
My red flags regarding online dating are as follows:

1. Having multiple kids out of wedlock with different mothers.
2. Trying to rush me into a situation, because it's not a relationship, but rushing makes me run the other way.
3. Not allowing enough time to mutually get to know one another.
4. Pressing me for information that I'm not ready to give up, like: my full name, my DOB, my work address.
5. Not meeting yet, but having relationship expectations. I'm not kidding, this has happened 3 times on here.
6. Arrogance, chauvinistic views and ego-driven.
7. Making sexual comments.
8. Too much too soon too fast.
 MarsWarGod
Joined: 9/9/2016
Msg: 309
view profile
History
Red flags
Posted: 10/11/2016 1:41:52 PM

I think my red flag or turn off in reading a profile is too many dont's listed on their page. Like, 20 points sometimes.
Maybe I am wrong but it seems as if they feel really entitled or picky. I just feel the person might be a lot to deal with?
Or when I read on someone's page 'looking for someone who can keep up'. I wonder what do I have to keep up with? Will we be hiking a lot or sky diving? Or an emotional rollercoaster/ obstacle course? Seems a bit intimidating for me lol. I don't know that's just my 0.02.


I hear you. Instead of being encouraged to talk to her, you encounter a warning sign.

It's like your first glimpse of this girl is cursing out some other guy for all the bad crap that he's done to her.
 PlutoLover68
Joined: 7/28/2016
Msg: 310
Red flags
Posted: 10/11/2016 2:40:22 PM
He doesn't see his children.
He wants me to send him a pic of my breasts.
He wants to talk about sex before we've ever met.
He texts a****pic before we meet or before we are intimate.
He doesn't have a job.
He doesn't have a relationship with his family.
He's unable to maintain a conversation, one word answers, etc.
He cancels and wants to reschedule the first meeting. (Although I do bend on this and have met at least one great guy. Life happens!)

I also have a list of "they are a scammer" red flags, but I don't like posting those and giving the scammers info to improve their game.
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 311
Red flags
Posted: 10/11/2016 2:46:37 PM
She says she's pen pals with Charlie Manson
 PrettyBr0wnEyed1
Joined: 7/5/2016
Msg: 312
Red flags
Posted: 10/11/2016 3:49:02 PM

I also have a list of "they are a scammer" red flags, but I don't like posting those and giving the scammers info to improve their game.


That's a good point, being that they're prevalent on this site. I've encountered one and had to list it after having another try the same exact thing as the other.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 313
view profile
History
the Sonny test
Posted: 10/11/2016 7:35:12 PM
None of this matters if the woman is hot enough and seems amenable to you. Unlocking the car door?? Not a biggie and certainly psychological indicator of anything untoward. She is probably on her phone texting anyway lol!
 Cynderella
Joined: 3/8/2007
Msg: 314
view profile
History
the Sonny test
Posted: 10/16/2016 2:29:10 PM
Wearing a red flag to our would be a red flag.
I like to give ppl a chance but I love you (yes this has happened) or sextalk on our first date are dealbreakers.
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