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 ozsealady1
Joined: 6/13/2013
Msg: 26
Red flagsPage 2 of 14    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)

how long he had been divorced. When he said, “3 days,”


^^ at least he was divorced.

I had one whose status was separated.
OK I thought.

After I had known him for a FORTNIGHT and a few dates I asked him how long he had been separated.

"1 MONTH But it is ok will all be sorted in 2 weeks!!!!"

He had walked out of the marital home and we had met almost straight away.
WOW!!! I asked what would happen if his daughter or 'wife' walked in and saw us having dinner.
Answer.... "Would not be pleasant."

These days I ask questions like this much earlier.
 antirepublican
Joined: 12/31/2014
Msg: 27
Red flags
Posted: 3/14/2015 5:10:29 PM
Looks to me like red flags are time horizon dependant. I can't say that I really have many because most of the time I only expect to see them once. I can stand batsheet insane in a cameo role. Character and presentation matter when you expect to have to live with it. If not, just about anything will do.
 NJgirl116
Joined: 7/27/2014
Msg: 28
Red flags
Posted: 3/14/2015 6:55:52 PM

Duh. I won't waste my time proving I'm not like 'those other dudes'

Yeah I hear you. I just read a profile that said "Seems like the prettier the girl, the more nuts she is. Please prove me wrong..." Nah I'll pass. I have no idea what nuts means to you anyway.
 JoeBnD
Joined: 3/23/2012
Msg: 29
Red flags
Posted: 3/14/2015 8:55:41 PM
1) Entitlement. For example:


Says how you can "score extra points" by knowing what sort of obscure trivia reference he's listed in his profile. Jeez..like I need to try to "score points" with some shmuck I don't know.


Okay, but then why is it that men are expected (entitlement) to jump through all of these hoops (open doors, pay for dates, be the provider, etc.) to score points with some schmuck (proper spelling; is schmuck gender neutral?) that he doesn't know?

2) "I am serious and I want to find someone to marry." - Marriage..... A man might as well just throw his cash into a shredder.

---


WTF is my Edit Post link??


The system probably logged you out which makes the link disappear (if you are within the 15 minute limit, log back in and the link should be there); it has a habit of doing that every 30 seconds.
 Eric_Summit
Joined: 11/3/2009
Msg: 30
Red flags
Posted: 3/14/2015 9:17:25 PM
This is gender-neutral observation...it is mystifying why so many think being sarcastic is a good attribute.
The reality is most people likely do not even know what that word really and truly means.
What it indicates to me is one who will likely use demeaning, degrading, and often-not-funny "humor" at peculiar times.
 JoeBnD
Joined: 3/23/2012
Msg: 31
Red flags
Posted: 3/14/2015 9:29:31 PM

This is gender-neutral observation...it is mystifying why so many think being sarcastic is a good attribute.
The reality is most people likely do not even know what that word really and truly means.
What it indicates to me is one who will likely use demeaning, degrading, and often-not-funny "humor" at peculiar times.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vmEV1d7RPvg
 clooneystutor
Joined: 3/8/2015
Msg: 32
Red flags
Posted: 3/14/2015 9:33:17 PM
Ya know Sunshine, again, I chose there over their. I didn't want make a third post, yet again. Good catch!

Eric, I think sometimes people confuse sarcasm with wit, or having a dry sense of humor perhaps?
 Eric_Summit
Joined: 11/3/2009
Msg: 33
Red flags
Posted: 3/14/2015 9:44:10 PM

Posted by clooneystutor:
"Eric, I think sometimes people confuse sarcasm with wit, or having a dry sense of humor perhaps?"

Completely concur with you. There is a very good likelihood that many confuse wit or dry humor with sarcasm.
 LadyEssKay
Joined: 2/13/2015
Msg: 34
Red flags
Posted: 3/14/2015 9:46:27 PM
My red flags are;

- Men who have the words "lonely", or any variation thereof, in their profile name.
- Those that say they love a sense of humour then go about trashing other women in a passive-egressive way on their profile, especially with a bitter tone.
- men who put "prefer not to say" on whether they have a car, or whether they want or have children.
- men who have to state that their children come first. That should be a given. I wouldn't expect any less.
- men who state things like "heifers need not apply", "gold diggers move on", etc.
- profiles that have simply "just ask". What am I supposed to ask, exactly?
- men who live clear across town, but select a place that is close to them, instead of meeting halfway, particularly when I state which area of town I live (or work, if I'm meeting them after work).
- men that state only what they are NOT looking for, instead of what they ARE looking for.
 irishgirl772
Joined: 6/3/2013
Msg: 35
Red flags
Posted: 3/15/2015 5:26:26 AM
The usual no job, no car and living at home for whatever reason. Its fine if youre in your 20's, not so much in your 40's.
Drug users, smokers, heavy drinkers.
Men who are still friends with their exes. Fine if there are children involved, shenanigans if not.
Men that dont like animals. Not to be mistaken for someone that cant have a pet because of where he lives or has allergies.
 GattoMonstrosis
Joined: 4/4/2013
Msg: 36
view profile
History
Red flags
Posted: 3/15/2015 6:00:35 AM
I don't have any specific red flags, i take people as they come, there are things that make me wonder though, like demanding "No Baggage" Maybe it's just me but i tend to think that someone who gets to their mid to late forties without baggage has breezed through life without ever really caring about anything. Everyone who has lived their life has some kind of baggage somewhere, it's only a problem if they obsess about it, so a baggage phobia just makes me think the person isn't interested in anything deep.

Profiles where every single photo is of a group of girlfriends out on the razz make me wonder too, quite apart from trying to figure out which one is the actual person who wrote the profile there is the question of where you will fit into that persons life, i'm not against someone having friends by any means but i want to be more than something to do when the friends are busy.

Pics of someones kids on their profile make me very uncomfortable, not because they are close to their kids, they should be, but because you don't know what kind of weirdos are on here checking out what's what.

I guess i do have some red flags after all. :)
 Ainen
Joined: 6/27/2013
Msg: 37
Red flags
Posted: 3/15/2015 6:38:36 AM

I just read a profile that said "Seems like the prettier the girl, the more nuts she is. Please prove me wrong..."


He wants a sane pretty girl, but you could prove him wrong by changing your profile picture to an image of the Wicked Witch of the West and sending him a highly kooky message.


Some people's red flags on this thread are ideal to me. Having most profile pictures with pets is a plus to me. Being physically active with outdoor interests is good, an anomaly in the sea of sedentary people who want to veg in bars. Being retired is ideal. She and I can walk with our pets on a weekday when the trail is less crowded.


I consider these red flags if they mention them outside a need-to-know basis:
- an ex
- other dates or other people's profiles
- their job, especially a second job or a busy season at work
- an ailing parent
- an injury or illness
- financial problems (usually they got themselves into the problem, for example they say they're broke, but also say they have hundreds of pairs of shoes, or they spend money on alcohol or gourmet coffee)
 ScarletSienna
Joined: 3/10/2015
Msg: 38
Red flags
Posted: 3/15/2015 7:31:29 AM
I think the biggest red flags that come to mind are...
1. Children, I really do not continue communicating with men with children unless we become clear that we will only be friends.
2. Aggression, any aggressive behavior, I will instantly stop communicating with that person.
3. Sexual talk and asking for sexual pictures or anything like this.
4. Acting like I am ignoring them or rejecting them (yes it has happened in very early stages).
5. Overstepping boundaries.
6. Many many past partners and relationships, is a sign they can't keep it together.
Well most of these are over stepping boundaries in some way, now to come to think of it.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 39
Red flags
Posted: 3/15/2015 10:04:49 AM
People that overanalyze and make broad assumptions about someone else based on minor, trivial information.
 Whatsamattababy
Joined: 2/17/2015
Msg: 40
Red flags
Posted: 3/15/2015 11:12:07 AM
^ I feel that this is necessary and often logical. For example, I just saw a headline that said "I shaved my balls for this?" Not someone I could imagine taking home to Mama. Am I right?
 DietFree
Joined: 11/1/2012
Msg: 41
view profile
History
Red flags
Posted: 3/15/2015 11:28:58 AM

I just saw a headline that said "I shaved my balls for this?" Not someone I could imagine taking home to Mama. Am I right?

I don't know...does Mama have to see the balls?
 Whatsamattababy
Joined: 2/17/2015
Msg: 42
Red flags
Posted: 3/15/2015 11:49:52 AM
^ Yes. It's the first thing she asks about.
 PenelopeLeChat
Joined: 7/29/2014
Msg: 43
Red flags
Posted: 3/15/2015 11:53:02 AM


He wants a sane pretty girl, but you could prove him wrong by changing your profile picture to an image of the Wicked Witch of the West and sending him a highly kooky message.


Ainen,
<------<<< Will that work? :)

Knights in shinning armor are a red flag or is that a red standard?
Men that don't want to walk you from or two your front door.
Men that ask you to tell them one thing you like, one you don't and one secret. Not a secret if I tell you, now is it?
Men that live with their parents.
Men scared of dogs.
Men with "party plates" on their car.
Men who say their children come first. Guess you have no room for a date then.

Ok, back to yardwork here.

Le Pew
 PenelopeLeChat
Joined: 7/29/2014
Msg: 44
Red flags
Posted: 3/15/2015 1:27:30 PM
Wanderlight, ^^^ "This" is a pronoun. It is a word that can take the place of a noun which is a person, place or thing. In "this" case, it is being used instead of saying, "I shaved my balls for POF?"
Anyone else have more to add? All help welcomed.

Le Pew
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 45
Red flags
Posted: 3/15/2015 2:17:20 PM

I feel that this is necessary and often logical. For example, I just saw a headline that said "I shaved my balls for this?" Not someone I could imagine taking home to Mama. Am I right?


That was a weird statement. But I'm talking about things like assuming someone that a sports fan is a couch potato or assuming a person older than a certain age ( such as 30 ) that goes to bars is immature or has a drinking problem. I have seen these types of statements on the forums and profiles.
 dpwesu
Joined: 3/25/2013
Msg: 46
Red flags
Posted: 3/15/2015 2:26:46 PM
Red Flags...

1. When a 40 plus year old man is looking for a long term relationship.....but the longest relationship he has ever had is less than 6 months.

2. When a "Big and Tall Guy" is looking for a "petite" or an "athletic" woman.

3. Excessive tattoos and piercings.

4. Talks about anything sexual within the first 5 or 10 minutes of a conversation.

5. All the photos on the profile have multiple people in them and you can't tell who the author of the profile is.

6. The vast majority of the photos on the profile have the writer holding a beer/alcoholic beverage. - known as a "constant party state".

7. Lists "retired" at age 30.

8. Has the phrase "my kids are my world and they come first" written in their narrative

9. Is looking for an "open relationship".

10. Is still married.

11. Is newly divorced.

12. Has "not single/not looking" listed as their intent.

13. Unable to hold an intelligent conversation.

14. Never takes responsibility for their poor choices.

15. Financially irresponsible.

16. Over 30 and still living at home in mommy's basement.

17. Is an extreme "sports nut".

18. Idea of exercise is sitting in the recliner parked in front of the TV eating chip and dip, and drinking beer all weekend.

19. Their whole life revolves around when they can ride their Harley Davidson.

20. Likes to go fising, hunting or camping/Rv-ing every single weekend.
 Literate_Hiker
Joined: 1/1/2015
Msg: 47
Red flags
Posted: 3/15/2015 2:42:21 PM

dpwesu:
18. Idea of exercise is sitting in the recliner parked in front of the TV eating chip and dip, and drinking beer all weekend.
19. Their whole life revolves around when they can ride their Harley Davidson.
20. Likes to go fishing, hunting or camping/Rv-ing every single weekend.

My joke about single men in Wenatchee is if I wanted a fat, good 'ol boy, ignorant, Republican, judgmental Christian, fisherman and hunter, who loves his Harley and snowmobile and decorates with antlers... I'd be ALL SET!
 dpwesu
Joined: 3/25/2013
Msg: 48
Red flags
Posted: 3/15/2015 2:44:14 PM
^^^
Amen to that, literate!!!! LOL :)
 Ainen
Joined: 6/27/2013
Msg: 49
Red flags
Posted: 3/15/2015 3:04:36 PM
That photo in the witch hat is too cute to work. I was thinking green skin, big crooked nose, warts and a sinister face.

"I shaved my legs for this?" is a country song. The man's headline is a variation on that line.

I've been called a couch potato for being a sports fan.

Don't forget the rednecks also smoke, and their gun use is not limited to hunting. They expend countless rounds target shooting.
 Eric_Summit
Joined: 11/3/2009
Msg: 50
Red flags
Posted: 3/15/2015 3:30:02 PM

Posted by Literate_Hiker:
"My joke about single men in Wenatchee is if I wanted a fat, good 'ol boy, ignorant, Republican, judgmental Christian, fisherman and hunter, who loves his Harley and snowmobile and decorates with antlers... I'd be ALL SET!"

All those features could be managed simultaneously...except those guys are Republican voters, too? Ewwww!
Perhaps have a primary residence in Seattle and maintain a tiny mountain cabin 150 miles to the east for the weekends. That could potentially resolve 80% of the concerns.
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