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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Boyfriend wants sex all the time?      Home login  
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 Muttonforpunishment
Joined: 2/20/2015
Msg: 26
Boyfriend wants sex all the time?Page 2 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)

It sounded to me like it’s your responsibility to figure out and understand why he’s not listening to you and adjust yourself in some way to get him to listen…? So if he still doesn’t listen you’re still doing it wrong…?


If a person ( male or female ), wish to communicate something to someone else then yes , it's THEIR responsibility to figure out how to do that EFFECTIVELY.




I am familiar with being yelled at; it is NOT conducive to heartfelt discussion.


Exactly, which is why I suggested that IF ......IF ..... That is how Vicki or ANYONE communicates they might realize that is not an EFFECTIVE way of communicating


Probably it’s the woman’s responsibility to calm him down, too…or keep him from yelling in the first place


Turn it around, how would you feel if the person yelling at you felt that instead of NOT yelling at you and figuring out that that is not an EFFECTIVE way of communicating with you , YOU should get your head out of your arse and listen to the person yelling at you ?
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 27
Boyfriend wants sex all the time?
Posted: 3/17/2015 11:22:34 AM

He also has some good qualities We must take into consideration before making a decision.


That also sounds like something that's said by women who are beaten and stay with the man. If such is the culture that promotes this, I'd think it high time women who are with men of that culture and mindset step up and not accept it as their due, just because "that's the way they are". Even children are capable of changing bad behaviour when taught to do so - when they're not, they grow up with the same bad behaviour. No excuses.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 6/22/2012
Msg: 28
Boyfriend wants sex all the time?
Posted: 3/17/2015 11:26:44 AM
I don't care if it's 2000 years of cultural evolution or some old fart mad about burning a $15 Viagra pill, if he's not attentive to your needs, he's not worth the sex.

I can understand a guy getting frustrated or angry if you go along with the foreplay and teasing and such and then try to stop the train once it enters the tunnel - timing is everything. If you see this as a standing issue every night, you should address it at the dinner table or in the morning or just about ANY time OTHER than when you are in mid-coitus. Be assertive. Make your point known. Yank the batteries out of the TV remote and hold them hostage if you have to.
 Aprilikeswhiteroses
Joined: 2/28/2015
Msg: 29
Boyfriend wants sex all the time?
Posted: 3/17/2015 11:36:35 AM

I see, being a full-blooded Hispanic man gives you a license to have a temper tantrum and become a verbally abusive swine if the woman won't play with your penis on command.What does being a full-blooded Hispanic woman give them a license to do, make idiotic excuses for his obnoxious behavior?


I know what you mean Tickle, And I agree,But things are as they are, we cannot change this mindset About the rights of the husband in Hispanic countries.,,Maybe in the future generations....
 BelleAtlantic
Joined: 11/7/2012
Msg: 30
Boyfriend wants sex all the time?
Posted: 3/17/2015 11:49:51 AM

Full blood Hispanic race male, are ALL like that...And Yes, they do get mad when they do not get it.
Perhaps that's why I do not find so badly the behavior of OP's fiancé.
He also has some good qualities We must take into consideration before making a decision.

They (hispanic males) in my country have a joke about the male"Greengos".
If we say something about no sex to our husband, They say they are not "greengos" with cold blood.
And They say we (women) should know with whom we were married,it was with A Hispanic man,not with a "Greengo"..:)
To judge for the answers of some ladies here,I know they never had sex or any kind of relationship with a hispanic man..You will not last long with him nor he with you...lol

Perhaps her fiancé has "some" Hispanic blood...Who knows...lol
To be honest, I do not believe that saying about the "Greengos".


LMAO, so true

All my boyfriends have been Hispanic, but none born in their parent's native countries. So basically 2 are white-hispanic (they look Italian but identify as Puerto Rican), and 1 is full-blooded Ecuadorian. Goodness gracious, you better not think of going out or sleeping over if you're not gonna fork it over. They don't play those kinds of games, you better be up for it, lol.

I didn't really mind it, I'm familiar with the concept and the way they function. They want to be all aggressive about it, I'm gonna get the same way about having to be fed, made comfortable, and given gifts. It works out, believe it or not, just put your foot down. You make it explicitly clear that you need A, B, C, and in order to get it, they will comply.

About "Gringos" aka white people without clue, I think I know what they're talking about because I've been with people who lack passion, who are just cold and withdrawn, and though interested in sex, they tend to be robotic about it. I won't list the countries but their countries tend to be very cold almost all year round, lol. Again, I don't mind the way they are but having a relationship with them may be slightly difficult. I've never attempted to have a relationship with them, because well....the sex s*cks.
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 31
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Boyfriend wants sex all the time?
Posted: 3/17/2015 11:57:35 AM

If a person ( male or female ), wish to communicate something to someone else then yes , it's THEIR responsibility to figure out how to do that EFFECTIVELY.


Unless I am getting paid to communicate, as in I am holding a workshop or speaking at a conference, actually effective communication is a 50/50 proposition in my experience and in my opinion, especially in the context of a relationship of any kind....
While it IS important that I do my best to communicate in a calm, clear and respectful manner...I am NOT responsible for the other person's interpretation of what I said, or if they choose not to clarify, or are being deliberately reactive or obtuse....

The man that the OP is talking about, I somehow DOUBT that this is a 'communication problem'...
Seems that even if she chose the best most non-combative and respectful way to communicate her needs, he considers his own to be more important....

It DOES happen with both men and women, because a lot of people don't know how to communicate appropriately even as adults. That goes for speaking as well as feedback/listening....
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 32
Boyfriend wants sex all the time?
Posted: 3/17/2015 11:57:37 AM

You make it explicitly clear that you need A, B, C, and in order to get it, they will comply.


Ahhh, yes, it's perfectly clear now. Rather than enjoy sex on a mutually satisfying basis, it's the barter system (or some such other term) for the most part. I guess it makes it "right" when you get the concept.

Edit:


This is clearly an issue of cultural translations. It Doesn't need to be understood, it just needs to be accepted.


There's nothing lost in the translation. It's well understood and it's obviously accepted only by the participants of the transaction/scheme....er relationship. We don't know if the OP's boyfriend is Hispanic, but if he's not, she can pretend he is and try the MO out, understand it and accept it....gotcha

 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 33
Boyfriend wants sex all the time?
Posted: 3/17/2015 12:00:16 PM
^^^^Yeah, I don't get that either.
Trading for sex on the barter system.
If you use money, they call it something else.
Not that there's anything wrong with that.
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 34
Boyfriend wants sex all the time?
Posted: 3/17/2015 12:03:44 PM

IG - you should have said 5 times a night :p


You're right. But I guess the honey moon stage is over, since we moved together, so some nights I write, or rest, or watch a movie, or talk. But we still go all out on the weekends and a couple of nights a week.


I see, being a full-blooded Hispanic man gives you a license to have a temper tantrum and become a verbally abusive swine if the woman won't play with your penis on command.


Tickle me pank, I agree with your above statement. I am Hispanic, Latino and yes we are hyper sexual, but that does not give anyone carte blanche to be a male chauvinist pig. People with a high libido, should find other people with a high libido. But also realize that if you want a relationship, not just sex, more than just sex has to take place.

There are also Latino men that are that demanding, so first of all, you need to be in the same page with your partner. If you're not, then it's time to move on. No one should have to be intimidated to have sex.
 BelleAtlantic
Joined: 11/7/2012
Msg: 35
Boyfriend wants sex all the time?
Posted: 3/17/2015 12:08:03 PM

Ahhh, yes, it's perfectly clear now. Rather than enjoy sex on a mutually satisfying basis, it's the barter system (or some such other term) for the most part. I guess it makes it "right" when you get the concept.


This is clearly an issue of cultural translations. It doesn't need to be understood, it just needs to be accepted.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 36
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Boyfriend wants sex all the time?
Posted: 3/17/2015 12:14:17 PM
Really? You see passion as someone demanding or forcing sex? Life is not this black & white, you either have to be with some brute or some cold fish, there is a a whole lot of middle ground there. Don't date people who treat you badly.
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 37
Boyfriend wants sex all the time?
Posted: 3/17/2015 12:38:48 PM

This is clearly an issue of cultural translations. It doesn't need to be understood, it just needs to be accepted.


It's all about the pampering. And the golden handcuffs. Hehehe.

Mira Mami as esa cosita que me hace a chi.

Okay, back to Feral CATS.

Hehehehe
 Never_in_Life
Joined: 1/13/2015
Msg: 38
Boyfriend wants sex all the time?
Posted: 3/18/2015 4:17:03 AM

I didn't really mind it, I'm familiar with the concept and the way they function. They want to be all aggressive about it, I'm gonna get the same way about having to be fed, made comfortable, and given gifts. It works out, believe it or not, just put your foot down. You make it explicitly clear that you need A, B, C, and in order to get it, they will comply.


Of course it works out. They get laid and you get stuff.
Econ 101.
 old_hag
Joined: 3/13/2015
Msg: 39
Boyfriend wants sex all the time?
Posted: 3/18/2015 6:59:04 AM
46 years old and throws a tantrum if he doesn't get sex? What a damn crybaby. I don't care what other "good qualities" he has, that ridiculous temper would override everything, especially since you have a medical condition. How long til he starts beating on you when he doesn't get his way is what would concern me.
 CrookCatcher
Joined: 7/14/2014
Msg: 40
Boyfriend wants sex all the time?
Posted: 3/18/2015 7:34:04 AM
Hmm.....Friday the 13th sure brought out some unique user names.... white rabbit.
 Hearton64
Joined: 12/18/2012
Msg: 41
Boyfriend wants sex all the time?
Posted: 3/18/2015 7:59:08 AM

Me and my boyfriend have been dating about 4 months .
He gets REALLY mad if he doesn't get sex everynight.
He will wake me up and get really mad and start pitching
a fit and yelling at me? I have talked to him about this
and how its not right.He will get better for a little while and then do it again!


Has anyone ever dated a guy that got mad if he didnt get sex everynight? Advice please?


No!

And if he did,sex would be the LAST thing he'd be getting!

That's straight up unacceptable no matter what!

Is he living with you??

How can he wake you up or expect sex nightly if not?

Seems to me if he can't respect your boundaries
it's time he move out and on!

Stop ignoring obvious red flags regarding his temper!
 GWSmith
Joined: 12/18/2008
Msg: 42
Boyfriend wants sex all the time?
Posted: 3/18/2015 11:28:23 PM
I was in a relationship where I didn't have sex for a year because my SO didn't want to... if this guy is pitching a fit over one night that should be a red flag.
 ThePig0fYourDreams
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 43
Boyfriend wants sex all the time?
Posted: 3/19/2015 12:13:51 AM
How the hell is this NOT a no-brainer??

Get rid of him. Duuuuh.
 clooneystutor
Joined: 3/8/2015
Msg: 44
Boyfriend wants sex all the time?
Posted: 3/19/2015 7:37:20 AM
This sounds like something that's lasted a lot longer then 4 months...

Clear case of incompatibility.

Some thinks are not salvageable, such as this (i.e. differing libidos, drinking and religious values).

Something tells me the OP is living with the horn toad and making a clean break will be difficult indeed.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 45
Boyfriend wants sex all the time?
Posted: 3/19/2015 8:31:13 AM
I think you're right Clooney about them living together, because otherwise, she could stop inviting him over or not agree to go to his place when she's not in the mood. I'm still waiting for the list of good qualities that she claims he has to keep her in the relationship. And if they're living together, what was the hurry to shack up.
 CrookCatcher
Joined: 7/14/2014
Msg: 46
Boyfriend wants sex all the time?
Posted: 3/20/2015 12:53:06 AM

pitching a fit and yelling at me


Edge of a book to the throat cures yelling....
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 47
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Boyfriend wants sex all the time?
Posted: 3/20/2015 12:01:37 PM
When the poster mentioned his *good* qualities, one thing was that he keeps a clean house, I assumed she meant she'd moved into his house.

Good one crookcatcher LOL
 Hearton64
Joined: 12/18/2012
Msg: 48
Boyfriend wants sex all the time?
Posted: 3/20/2015 1:00:42 PM
Then she should move out.
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 49
Boyfriend wants sex all the time?
Posted: 3/20/2015 1:05:03 PM

When the poster mentioned his *good* qualities, one thing was that he keeps a clean house, I assumed she meant she'd moved into his house.


More than likely is HER house and since he can clean a house good, sounds to me that he ALSO does not have a job.
 forumgal1
Joined: 5/24/2010
Msg: 50
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Boyfriend wants sex all the time?
Posted: 3/20/2015 1:13:11 PM
You are in an abusive relationship with someone who has little regard for your feelings. Speak to him and express what you want...ie how often you can handle sex given your physical state, and try to find a happy medium that you can both agree on.

Barring that if this fails...walk out the door and find someone who is more understanding of your needs.
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