Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Man who has never had a relatonship      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 ArticLife
Joined: 2/25/2010
Msg: 26
view profile
History
Man who has never had a relatonshipPage 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)

His penis may have shriveled up and fallen off due to lack of use. No way to recover from something like that. "Use it or lose it" as they say.

I might not mind the never-had-a-relationship thing (all other things being equal), but ain't no way in hell I'd date a grown man who plays video games all day. LOL no.


Is it more about him "wasting" his time (is having fun a waste of time...) or about video games specifically? If it's the latter, why? People have hobbies which are all for fun and generally a waste of time in a practical sense (not going to earn you more money or make you smarter) like golfing/watching TV, etc..

Video games are just another diversion. Do you have no diversions?

As for the OP's question, it seems he has a fear of commitment. The best option for you if you really like him is just be direct, ask him why he withdraws and see what happens. No reason to play games.
 iamconstipated
Joined: 3/3/2015
Msg: 27
Man who has never had a relatonship
Posted: 3/30/2015 8:43:52 AM
This issue has nothing to do with sex and everything to do with a man's inability to be able to converse with a female and actually ask her out on a date. This shows they fear women in general and this female wants no part of that.
 arlo2
Joined: 5/30/2013
Msg: 28
view profile
History
Man who has never had a relatonship
Posted: 3/30/2015 4:01:56 PM

This issue has nothing to do with sex and everything to do with a man's inability to be able to converse with a female and actually ask her out on a date. This shows they fear women in general and this female wants no part of that.


What inability? The OP says that he goes out when he feels like it. They converse just fine and "have a great time" when they do. I don't see and indication of any kind of "fear" on this guys part. Why do people try to turn this guy's preferences into some kind of pathology ? Because the OP wants more from him than he is inclined to give?

From the OP's description, he's happy/content. He is not complaining. So, leave him be.

Who knows? He may have half a dozen women, like the OP, in a rotation :) Or, he may just not be that interested. There seems to be a bit of that going around, these days.
 iamconstipated
Joined: 3/3/2015
Msg: 29
Man who has never had a relatonship
Posted: 4/4/2015 8:23:20 AM
To me a man who has never had a relationship with a woman even once is a little unusual and strange.
 rockin-trucker82
Joined: 1/4/2014
Msg: 30
Man who has never had a relatonship
Posted: 4/4/2015 8:39:51 AM

To me a man who has never had a relationship with a woman even once is a little unusual and strange.


You must be new here. Spend about an hour reading through these forums. It's not unusual or strange at all. Maybe he's just fat, or doesn't have a prestigious job, or chooses not to drive, or decided living with parents and splitting all the bills and cleaning with them is better than living lonely alone. There's way too many deal-breakers to list, but give it a little time to let it sink in how many there are. There is no guy in the world that doesn't fit at least one. If you have more than one, your chances get even lower.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 31
Man who has never had a relatonship
Posted: 4/4/2015 2:47:27 PM

To me a man who has never had a relationship with a woman even once is a little unusual and strange.


Perhaps he had several first dates / meetings that went nowhere because there wasn't "instant chemistry". Thus he stopped actively trying to date and realized that he liked being single. Or he decided to focus on other things going on in his life. School, work, family, social events / activities etc. Or he had a FWB / casual relationship that was working well for him. .
 arlo2
Joined: 5/30/2013
Msg: 32
view profile
History
Man who has never had a relatonship
Posted: 4/4/2015 5:25:35 PM

To me a man who has never had a relationship with a woman even once is a little unusual and strange.


Just maybe, rather than trying to decide what is wrong with this guy; the actual question we should be asking is : "What is wrong with the OP that she can not garner any interest, even, from this guy would is 'unusual' and 'strange' " ?
 norwegianguy123
Joined: 10/27/2014
Msg: 33
Man who has never had a relatonship
Posted: 4/5/2015 9:19:47 PM

To me a man who has never had a relationship with a woman even once is a little unusual and strange.

Yeah, he sounds a little constipated. ;) Well, at 40 anyway, yeah.

Spend about an hour reading through these forums. It's not unusual or strange at all.

For dating forums where most people are usually at least a little unusual -- true. But IRL altogether? It is a little unusual if the guy or gal is 40.

Perhaps he had several first dates / meetings that went nowhere because there wasn't "instant chemistry".

True, but by 40-ish, if one never had a relationship -- and it doesn't mean a real Long-Term one -- that's still at Least a little unusual & strange. I think what you describe there would be reasons why one hasn't been in a relationship for a while where it may not be that odd/strange...

Or he had a FWB / casual relationship that was working well for him.

Well, if he had a FWB that soaked up so much of his time that it was a major contributor to him never having a real GF by the time he was 40-- that would be a little unusual, wouldn't it be? Something unusual & strange doesn't necessarily mean run-run-run. It's unusual for a 25 year old guy to be rich, and a little strange that he lives way out in the country in a sparely populated area & loving it at the same time. Doesn't mean he's necessarily a bad catch by any means.... just a little unusual & strange. :)

But I will say that someone who's Never had a GF @40 -- he needs to get a Vagenda laid out that's aiming for something solid and not spending time consumed with outside things or "just dating" (or whatever other things he's locked into).
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 34
Man who has never had a relatonship
Posted: 4/8/2015 6:24:37 AM

Something unusual & strange doesn't necessarily mean run-run-run


For some women, a man never having a relationship at a certain age is more than just unusual though. They will assume something is wrong with him. Heck some women will make negative assumptions because a man hasn't been in a LTR that lasted more than a year. Or he is over 40 and never been married. Also some people that have been in a LTR never had a good relationship though. They were content at best to outright miserable.
 justdeb1111
Joined: 8/12/2012
Msg: 35
Man who has never had a relatonship
Posted: 4/8/2015 11:31:36 AM

What inability? The OP says that he goes out when he feels like it. They converse just fine and "have a great time" when they do. I don't see and indication of any kind of "fear" on this guys part. Why do people try to turn this guy's preferences into some kind of pathology ? Because the OP wants more from him than he is inclined to give?

From the OP's description, he's happy/content. He is not complaining. So, leave him be.

Who knows? He may have half a dozen women, like the OP, in a rotation :) Or, he may just not be that interested. There seems to be a bit of that going around, these days.


Absolutely correct!
She is blaming his video gaming and supposed lack of experience (says who?) on the brutal fact:

Honey, he ain't that in to you.

Gamers are a different, content, nerdie, adorable lot. Unless you also are a gamer, it's best you leave him alone--you'll never understand his preference for "drama" in pixels rather than corpuscles.
 justdeb1111
Joined: 8/12/2012
Msg: 36
Man who has never had a relatonship
Posted: 4/8/2015 11:40:00 AM

it should be pointed out that emotional depth and a desire for long term, monogamous relating are not exclusive to those subscribing to marriage


Bingo!
 arlo2
Joined: 5/30/2013
Msg: 37
view profile
History
Man who has never had a relatonship
Posted: 4/8/2015 4:47:24 PM
Somehow, I'm pretty sure that, if this guy were short, overweight, bald, and broke; we would not be having this conversation. So, dude obviously has SOMETHING going for him. Other than his 'strangeness', he may be out of the OP's league, so to speak.

Because of his lifestyle, the OP thinks he SHOULD be low hanging fruit.
 sigungq
Joined: 1/4/2013
Msg: 38
view profile
History
Man who has never had a relatonship
Posted: 4/8/2015 5:26:09 PM
I'm 40 something, and have never had a date. But I have never pulled back. Only the women do that to me.
 sigungq
Joined: 1/4/2013
Msg: 39
view profile
History
Man who has never had a relatonship
Posted: 4/17/2015 9:40:22 PM

BelleAtlantic wrote:

I'm extremely content to be in peace, alone, in complete silence, it's very calming.


This sounds like the Oracle at Delphi, or at very least a Qi Gong master........ ;-)
 sigungq
Joined: 1/4/2013
Msg: 40
view profile
History
Man who has never had a relatonship
Posted: 4/17/2015 9:45:05 PM

Iamconstipated wrote:

To me a man who has never had a relationship with a woman even once is a little unusual and strange.


Then you must think that many of us are strange. I know quite a few other men who have never had even a date with a woman well into their thirties, and beyond. Each has his reasons. Perhaps, for you, a little ex-lax may help your view of these men?
 Eric_Summit
Joined: 11/3/2009
Msg: 41
Man who has never had a relatonship
Posted: 4/17/2015 9:59:45 PM

Posted by signungq:
"I'm 40 something, and have never had a date. But I have never pulled back. Only the women do that to me."

Hadn't heard this previously. Keep your chin up and keep trying! This is just a minor phase you're experiencing.
Continue to send messages and hopefully with luck on your side, you will obtain a terrific date. Hang in there!
 norwegianguy123
Joined: 10/27/2014
Msg: 42
Man who has never had a relatonship
Posted: 4/19/2015 2:55:22 PM

Then you must think that many of us are strange. I know quite a few other men who have never had even a date with a woman well into their thirties, and beyond.

It is strange. Very strange, if they have no physical or mental handicaps (then I guess that itself would be the focal point of 'strange' instead).

Keep your chin up and keep trying! This is just a minor phase you're experiencing.

Keep trying to do the same thing over and over is not a good idea. Better to call a "full timeout", re-assess things and take time to gather a different perspective. Also, it's not a minor phase. Never a date when being 40-something? Or even 25+ yo? Not a minor phase, nor a phase at all. Requires a big overhaul.
 SunshineGirl__
Joined: 10/7/2014
Msg: 43
Man who has never had a relatonship
Posted: 4/19/2015 4:47:27 PM

Then you must think that many of us are strange. I know quite a few other men who have never had even a date with a woman well into their thirties, and beyond.


Could this be part of your problem, I wonder…hanging out with other men who have never had a date, you’ve rubbed off on each other? I don’t know any. None. How does this happen? I dated in my teens, with friends, I mean do you have any kind of social life at all, that you never go out to dinner or anywhere or know anyone who knows any single women, ever??


Keep trying to do the same thing over and over is not a good idea. Better to call a "full timeout", re-assess things and take time to gather a different perspective. Also, it's not a minor phase. Never a date when being 40-something? Or even 25+ yo? Not a minor phase, nor a phase at all. Requires a big overhaul.


I agree, that’s a hell of a “phase” he’s got going on there. I can suggest one thing: that Eeyore act has got to GO! No woman wants to date a sad sack or feel like she’s rescuing a man from himself. Agree with the need for a major overhaul but where would he get one?
 sigungq
Joined: 1/4/2013
Msg: 44
view profile
History
Man who has never had a relatonship
Posted: 4/19/2015 6:19:54 PM
Hey Sunshine,

Most of the dateless men that I know are in the same profession I am. We are all engineers. Yes, nerds, geeks, social retards...... whatever....... Anyway, I do go out quite a bit, but it is often solo, and when not, it's usually with coworkers. My biggest problem, has always been finding myself in areas (geographically or otherwise) where there are very few women, and loads of men. My high school class had 117 boys and 64 girls. Engineering school had a total of 3 women there. I have asked out plenty of women over the years, but all of them already had boyfriends. Just the cards I suppose. Anyway, that's the short of it.
 arlo2
Joined: 5/30/2013
Msg: 45
view profile
History
Man who has never had a relatonship
Posted: 4/19/2015 7:29:03 PM
Nearly as universal as their disdain for shorter men, is women's , overwhelming dislike of: Engineers, Mathematicians, IT workers, et al. A quick survey of any upper-division mathematics department, on a Friday night, will bare this out.
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 46
view profile
History
Man who has never had a relatonship
Posted: 4/19/2015 7:55:12 PM
He hasn't had a relationship. The general consensus is to treat him like a social outcast, and act like he has leprosy. Lemme see, uh, there's another term that closely resemble that. You don't want to deal with him, wish he wasn't around, like another race of people, Ummmm-

Racism. Or bigotry. Whatever term you prefer.
 dragonbytes
Joined: 12/25/2014
Msg: 47
Man who has never had a relatonship
Posted: 4/19/2015 7:56:08 PM

Nearly as universal as their disdain for shorter men, is women's , overwhelming dislike of: Engineers, Mathematicians, IT workers, et al. A quick survey of any upper-division mathematics department, on a Friday night, will bare this out.


Geez, being a short, fat, bald, engineer who also did a lot of statistical analysis, I am glad I never knew this, it might have hurt my feelings.
 LadyEssKay
Joined: 2/13/2015
Msg: 48
Man who has never had a relatonship
Posted: 4/19/2015 8:10:46 PM
^^ I've not heard the engineer thing either. I dated an engineer. The only thing I found was that despite his top notch education, and the fact that he was brilliant, he was a notoriously poor speller. But he told me that all engineers are poor spellers. :)

I have never considered profession as a make or break thing, But I do find it a bit odd that someone could reach the age of 40 not having had even 1 relationship. I would assume that it was their deliberate choice and they worked hard to achieve it, or they were cloistered to the extent that they were never exposed to any people who could be of potential romantic interest. Especially in their younger days.

And nobody say they're just THAT unattractive. Even if that were the case (and I have yet to see evidence of that anywhere here), there is a lid for every pot.
 arlo2
Joined: 5/30/2013
Msg: 49
view profile
History
Man who has never had a relatonship
Posted: 4/19/2015 8:44:12 PM

But he told me that all engineers are poor spellers. :)


Not all. But, for some reason, the best engineers tend to be terrible spellers and have the messiest desks. Many are dyslexic.

When I was in grad school, I had a girlfriend who was a true dead ringer for a young Alicia Silverstone. One day, at the beginning of a quarter, I was very busy. So, she went to the school bookstore, for me, to buy a couple of textbooks on advanced mathematics and engineering & some course notes. SHE WAS MOBBED! She told me at least a dozen guys in the mathematics section stopped her to ask which class she was in, when they saw the books she was carrying. She was used to the normal attention that a girl who looked like her got. But, she was stunned by the reaction that she got in the mathematics and engineering section of the school bookstore. She said it was like they had never seen a girl before.

Turns out, I knew a few of them :)
 dragonbytes
Joined: 12/25/2014
Msg: 50
Man who has never had a relatonship
Posted: 4/19/2015 9:44:45 PM
I have a gamer friend, she is about 40, she is mainly steampunk. She used to make the rounds of the cons in the USA, selling leather steampunk goods and body shapers. I went to a few cons with her.

She got married to a guy she met in Thailand, now they make their product there and export to the USA. She is quite a gamer.

Steampunk.

https://www.google.com/?gws_rd=ssl#q=steampunk&tbm=shop

Body shapers.
http://forums.plentyoffish.com/addpost.aspx?SID=2l01un1gelnvllowpwyywbjw&PostID=16370628&x=19&y=9

Another gamer I traveled with was more the traditional stereotype, went to Thailand and stayed in his room playing World of Warcraft. Though he was a cross dresser, which I guess isn't quite the stereotype.

I have pictures, the streampunk is pretty cool, but the male gamer cross dresser was one poor excuse for a woman.

Another possibility, gamers sometimes find non-gamers boring.

They have moved a long way past star trek.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Man who has never had a relatonship