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 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 51
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Engagement rings necessary in the 21st century?Page 3 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
"A Man doesn't have to buy me a big rock - however - he should because well, I can't cook. See my logic?
Bucsgirl it is lovely to see you posting again :)"

I CAN cook, and quite well, anyone for Chicken Cordon Bleu?? Does that mean I don't get a huge diamond? haha Thanks doll it's good to see you again as well.

Oh wait, having sex on the wedding night is a tradition. Any one of you men want to give that up? Let me see your hands.......
 474rusty
Joined: 3/16/2015
Msg: 52
Engagement rings necessary in the 21st century?
Posted: 3/22/2015 4:52:36 PM
I'd like to know exactly how "We are NOT equal sexually". This makes no sense to me. Actually, the whole post makes no sense to me. Of course we have different genders, who said we didn't? And why not have equality in our romantic sex life...again, this makes no sense to me.

And my sense of humour is just fine thank you.
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 53
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Engagement rings necessary in the 21st century?
Posted: 3/22/2015 4:56:51 PM
"And why not have equality in our romantic sex life...again, this makes no sense to me. " I think there's some confusion with equality and sameness. I don't of any women who can get an erection, is that not equal? Don't know, just putting it out there.
 BLonde^j^AngeL
Joined: 1/2/2015
Msg: 54
Engagement rings necessary in the 21st century?
Posted: 3/22/2015 6:25:31 PM

I'd like to know exactly how "We are NOT equal sexually". This makes no sense to me. Actually, the whole post makes no sense to me. Of course we have different genders, who said we didn't? And why not have equality in our romantic sex life...again, this makes no sense to me.


It doesn't make sense bec. you refuse to listen. And where has THAT gotten you?

How many times have I posted about reading David Deida's Intimate Communion regarding sexual polarity.

Also see if your local college offers classes on Evoluntionary Psychology/Biology.

Even in homosexual relationships, one partner has the male essence, the other the female essence.

Equal RIGHTS (wrap your brain around that word) is about education & employment.

Not about 2 d1cks in a relationship (unless u r 2 gay men)
 474rusty
Joined: 3/16/2015
Msg: 55
Engagement rings necessary in the 21st century?
Posted: 3/22/2015 7:41:37 PM
So you don't want a partnership, you want a man to lead you, be the boss, tell you what to think and do? Or at least appear to. He must APPEAR to. And the boss gets to be the boss by buying you a big ring or little ring or a token of his being the boss and you are the subordinate.

And equal rights is not just about education and employment so wrap your head around that. It is about being equal in the relationship and all walks of life. I don't want a lord and master and neither should anyone else, either gender.

There are a million books out there telling both genders how to run their lives. Stupid authors and intelligent authors have made millions selling books, courses, games and lucky charms. We still have a 50% divorce rate for first marriages and its higher for 2nd, 3rd marriages. So what have the relationship gurus and pop psychologists proved other than you can remove money from folks with lonely hearts and failure issues.
 LadyEssKay
Joined: 2/13/2015
Msg: 56
Engagement rings necessary in the 21st century?
Posted: 3/22/2015 8:10:50 PM
I'm not sure how it jumped from getting an engagement ring, to being lord and master of anyone. You are making it sound as if liking engagement rings is a significant character flaw. I happen to be one of the ones that like them and like the ritual. But I have a traditional bent in me. Is it a deal breaker if I don't get an engagement ring with a proposal? No. But I don't think anyone needs to apologize for liking them. I got one in my first marriage. It was lovely. And quite honestly, my husband didn't lord or master over me at any time.

I am all for gender equality. But I don't see how a ring makes me any less supportive of women's rights than if I got militant about not wanting one. Nobody is threatening my rights (or yours) by giving me an engagement ring. But I don't have to assert myself and become all Feminazi about it if a man presents one to me, either. It's just a ring. I happen to like jewelry. I don't see anything wrong with preparing a nice meal for my significant other, or doing his laundry, either.

And men and women are not entirely equal. Most men are physically stronger than me. They can move furniture better than I can. But I am pretty good at some things that men are not so great at! No biggie. The nice thing about it, is that we can share our strengths!

And what does books and divorce rates and lonely hearts and failure have to do with someone liking engagement rings?
 Tarnished_Knight
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 57
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Engagement rings necessary in the 21st century?
Posted: 3/22/2015 8:44:59 PM
bucsgirl commented specifically, after having been absent a wicked long time:
"And why not have equality in our romantic sex life...again, this makes no sense to me. " I think there's some confusion with equality and sameness. I don't of any women who can get an erection, is that not equal? Don't know, just putting it out there.


Actually, bucsgirl, you ladies do get an erection. As with the male, the clitoris engorges with blood during arousal, swelling and sometimes peeking out from within the clitoral hood - i.e., an erection. Granted, not quite as pronounced as the male erection, but just as advantageous. And as enjoyable - for both.

For all our differences ...

TK
 Tarnished_Knight
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 58
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Engagement rings necessary in the 21st century?
Posted: 3/22/2015 9:16:59 PM

Actually we should go back in time before just men gave such expensive pre wedding "gifts" if the woman is getting a gift of a costly ring.

I think in India men are presented with a woman that has been acquiring gold for many years as a dowry.
Gold has value and always will in our life time.
Pressed carbon, is actually worth very little.

Men used to get land, sometimes homes, farms, goats, cows, horses and things of real value.


The study of the dowry is an interesting lesson: conceived as a payment to the receiving husband from the wife's family because of the belief she would be a burden, and they were being relieved of their burden.
Never quite understood the idea - must come from a place and time in which women were considered little more than chattel (which they were) and a foolish understanding of what women are capable.
Even with the less than stellar relationship son's mom and I had, esp. during the past few years, I considered her more of a blessing than a burden. PITA, yes; burden, no.

TK
 Seki1949
Joined: 9/4/2013
Msg: 59
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Engagement rings necessary in the 21st century?
Posted: 3/23/2015 12:21:32 AM

Oh wait, having sex on the wedding night is a tradition. Any one of you men want to give that up?


It's up to you.
 CTRLvector
Joined: 9/21/2014
Msg: 60
Engagement rings necessary in the 21st century?
Posted: 3/23/2015 3:08:17 AM
It is interesting how people ask for certainty in life,
because of life and in life - the only certainty provided to life, and inevitably in life - is death.

It is interesting how people ask for certainty of fidelity in relation,
considering infidelity exists as a result of fidelity in failed relation,

chance being the facilitator of potential outcomes,
outcomes giving the potential of failure in relations,
chance by definition cannot be removed from relation, because relations are subject to outcomes.

when you ask for relation to exist as flawless in life, as it looks on paper,
you're probably religious - and thats your excuse.

It is interesting how you take human nature, and ask for nurture to supersede natural law and human condition.

You can avoid interesting levels of stupidity, by simply asking yourself if the impossible is possible, before demanding others the impossible be possible.

And if you have the gull to excuse yourself after proving conditions impossible, but still hold that same standard to others - you're probably organization13 - because he's dumb like that.
 BLonde^j^AngeL
Joined: 1/2/2015
Msg: 61
Engagement rings necessary in the 21st century?
Posted: 3/23/2015 5:29:41 AM

So you don't want a partnership, you want a man to lead you, be the boss, tell you what to think and do? Or at least appear to. He must APPEAR to. And the boss gets to be the boss by buying you a big ring or little ring or a token of his being the boss and you are the subordinate.
Ever hear of topping from the bottom? ;0D


And equal rights is not just about education and employment so wrap your head around that. It is about being equal in the relationship and all walks of life. I don't want a lord and master and neither should anyone else, either gender.
In the US constitution, I see NOTHING about sex, love, & romance. I don't see where it spells out a formula for courtship, that's right, courtship, not phuckship (not that there's anything wrong w/ that) & no one should be telling others what anyone else should want either. There is a whole spectrum of relationships/of who is in control of what. Ignorant if a person doesn't realize it by a certain age.


There are a million books out there telling both genders how to run their lives. Stupid authors and intelligent authors have made millions selling books, courses, games and lucky charms. We still have a 50% divorce rate for first marriages and its higher for 2nd, 3rd marriages. So what have the relationship gurus and pop psychologists proved other than you can remove money from folks with lonely hearts and failure issues.
When the student is ready, the teacher appears. And the old adage "Even a broken clock is right twice a day" comes to mind. So even a "bad" book/guru has something good for people to glean some knowledge from.



I'm not sure how it jumped from getting an engagement ring, to being lord and master of anyone. You are making it sound as if liking engagement rings is a significant character flaw. I happen to be one of the ones that like them and like the ritual. But I have a traditional bent in me. Is it a deal breaker if I don't get an engagement ring with a proposal? No. But I don't think anyone needs to apologize for liking them. I got one in my first marriage. It was lovely. And quite honestly, my husband didn't lord or master over me at any time.
Agree. I don't demand or manipulate my current partner or any past ones although I am sure I would have been able to. But I carry myself through w/ value on myself as a woman & he treats me accordingly. I treat him w/ value as well, it is mutual although we don't give & receive things identically. But I do not feel I have to earn a man's love, & I see this as a mistake many women make. Such an attitude attracts couch surfers & philanderers & low caliber men.


I am all for gender equality. But I don't see how a ring makes me any less supportive of women's rights than if I got militant about not wanting one. Nobody is threatening my rights (or yours) by giving me an engagement ring. But I don't have to assert myself and become all Feminazi about it if a man presents one to me, either. It's just a ring. I happen to like jewelry. I don't see anything wrong with preparing a nice meal for my significant other, or doing his laundry, either.
A real feminist would embrace a woman's right to choose the type of relationship, education & occupation she desires & is suited for.


And men and women are not entirely equal. Most men are physically stronger than me. They can move furniture better than I can. But I am pretty good at some things that men are not so great at! No biggie. The nice thing about it, is that we can share our strengths!
Who ever is best suited for a job is who should be doing it. If I need surgery, I want the best surgeon, not someone who got into med school bec. of a quota bec. of whatever was PC at the time. When the late Dr. Joyce Brothers applied to med school, she had the HIGHEST scores in her class, yet was encouraged not to attend so that a man could have her spot instead (per her memoirs) The higher up who told her this said she was attractive & would get married & have kids & not pursue a career, LoL! Glad she socked it to him! Had she had the lowest scores, she should not have been admitted just bec. she was a woman, but only on merit.


And what does books and divorce rates and lonely hearts and failure have to do with someone liking engagement rings?
Nothing & everything, w/ some sour grapes mixed in.


I agree but you do seem to be confusing equality with the same. That is if he buys her an engagement ring she has to buy him one for the same value. Thats not equality, thats the same. So, he may buy her an engagement ring but she might bring (depending on the couple, and just for ease of explaination I'll give this example) a gentleness and loving into hes life that no one else can give him. Thats equality. Each is giving of something, it doesnt have to be the same thing that is exchanged. In my case, he gave me an engagement ring, I come with a fully furnished flat and car. FFS how dumb was I, sooo undersold myself.
Not dumb at all, you realized & learned & value yourself accordingly.
 CTRLvector
Joined: 9/21/2014
Msg: 62
Engagement rings necessary in the 21st century?
Posted: 3/23/2015 6:48:25 AM

Now is this nature or nurture?  


I mean't the law of nurture by way of - vow in marriage - being more of a factor than nature, in that it isn't inherent in human nature to adhere to monogamy. I am not saying that human interaction makes children better or worse, because that can go either way. But human interaction and cooperation is 100% necessary for survival.


I'm surprised you think like this Vector


I wasn't clear bad quality control on my post... but yeah, no - I don't think its impractical to be upset if vows aren't upheld in marriage. I became disillusioned by the break in marriage... maybe less so about the vow, and more so about the amount of work it took for me, vs her

I was just saying that it is foolish to hold a person to a bond, when the vows recited can't rightfully be expected of everyone. For a fact that I know I didn't ask that question of myself - and in sickness and health - she left me. Would I have left her? Hard to say, but I'm certain there is limit to what I would manage through.

So it is impractical to hold that standard, if the standard isn't realized in self. And I doubt a lot of people think about the full extent of sickness and health.
 474rusty
Joined: 3/16/2015
Msg: 63
Engagement rings necessary in the 21st century?
Posted: 3/23/2015 7:07:15 AM
A few comments,

Adding a silly remark about not seeing anything in the US Constitution about sex, love and romance is just, well, its just playing ignorant. The world does not revolve around the US Constitution. I am equal to my man and he is equal to me. No, we're aren't the same as he is male and I am female but we are equal and we should contribute equally, give equally and bring equal value to the relationship. Neither of us is "better" than the other because of our gender or plumbing.

Yes, there are interesting books out there written by relationship gurus. I stand by what I said...they don't seem to be working as we still have a multitude of failed relationships out there and the failed relationships encompass those that read a multitude of relationship books, those that didn't turn a page and by the authors themselves. If someone learned a thing or two from all the reading, great. But we still have failed relationships out there so please don't go recommending authors or quoting relationship gospel unless you've learned it and lived by it - successfully.

As to the example of she gets an engagement ring and in exchange she brings "gentleness and loving into hes (sic) life", um, no. Poor example. How about both are giving love into each other's life, both contribute respect, kindness, care and attention, gentleness,value, etc. to the relationship. Some want all this PLUS a ring or token of some sort.

I don't recall anyone saying anything about feminists or feminazi's or accepting a ring making anyone less supportive of women's rights. The question was, in this day and age, is an engagement ring purchased by the man necessary? Its a good question. I'm not going to slam anyone who wants one or "expects" one, to each their own. For me its not a requirement. I just find it odd that many of the women that proclaim how independent they are, how they are capable of running a home, having a career, raising children on their own, lived solo for some time, state that can do anything a man can and do it better and do so with bravado (not a bad thing by the way) yet go all "girly" and want an engagement ring.

No one should devalue themselves. We all have value, both genders. I just don't put a price on it because I'm a woman, the price being an engagement ring.
 BelleAtlantic
Joined: 11/7/2012
Msg: 64
Engagement rings necessary in the 21st century?
Posted: 3/23/2015 7:58:04 AM

It is a known fact that women jewelry. Men, not so much. Let me announce that none of this is going to change just because the 21st century rolled around. And some men will find fault with us for that, but a lot of them are being two-faced otherwise they wouldn't view tomboys or plain janes with opinions that mostly range from disinterest to outright disdain.

That women love jewelry and men not so much, has a whole lot to do with the reasons men have traditionally given them a piece of it to declare their matrimonial intent. It's really not that hard to figure out that if you love someone, you give them something that pleases THEM, not something you'd choose for yourself.... Like a brand new flame painted golf cart. :/

If a man wants to marry a woman who loves jewelry and expects to get a nice engagement ring but resents the idea that this will be expected of him, then he should STFU find someone else to marry instead, or remember that there are a whole lot of things he'll want to have that she isn't going to be thrilled about either.


100%

If you feel any kind of resentment toward doing something for your SO, don't waste their time, get with someone else.

Things of every sort have a way of making themselves obvious, like a woman who is not having sex because she wants to, may just lay there, be distant, have no enthusiasm toward it all, which men don't like and will resent in due time. A woman who hears of all the money that is being spent on buying/repairing a car or motorcycle may become resentful toward her spouse as the piece of equipment seems to be a priority over her and she in turns gets nothing but the left overs after the car is fixed.

Keep your priorities in check if and if one of those is not your SO, find someone else, or be by yourself.
 tgif111
Joined: 10/24/2014
Msg: 65
Engagement rings necessary in the 21st century?
Posted: 3/23/2015 9:25:52 AM
that's cool Belle.

but I think the snag is that there is pressure on men to buy an EXPENSIVE or exorbitant ring.

it's like the more costly the ring the more the man loves her.

a $1000 ring says I love you but a $10,000 ring screams "I LOVE YOU!!!!"

that's the fly in the ointment.

there's pressure on women as well. her fellow females want to see a big ass diamond, but maybe not as big as the one she herself is wearing. catty! *meow*
 BLonde^j^AngeL
Joined: 1/2/2015
Msg: 66
Engagement rings necessary in the 21st century?
Posted: 3/23/2015 9:33:17 AM
http://www.equalrightsamendment.org/
The Equal Rights Amendment

Section 1. Equality of rights under the law shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any state on account of sex.

Section 2. The Congress shall have the power to enforce, by appropriate legislation, the provisions of this article.

Section 3. This amendment shall take effect two years after the date of ratification.


A few comments,

Adding a silly remark about not seeing anything in the US Constitution about sex, love and romance is just, well, its just playing ignorant. MY INTERPRETATION OF EQUAL RIGHTS IS LEGAL IN REGARDS TO EDUCATIONAL & EMPLOYMENT OPPORTUNITIES. NOT ABOUT GOING DUTC, GETTING A RING, HAVING SEX AFTER THE 3RD DATE, ETC. The world does not revolve around the US Constitution. I am equal to my man and he is equal to me. I hope Scientific American does an article on you. No, we're aren't the same as he is male and I am female but we are equal and we should contribute equally, give equally and bring equal value to the relationship. That's your choice.Neither of us is "better" than the other because of our gender or plumbing. Scientifically, women are the superior gender. They have more variation in their chromasomal material, etc.

Yes, there are interesting books out there written by relationship gurus. I stand by what I said...they don't seem to be working as we still have a multitude of failed relationships out there and the failed relationships encompass those that read a multitude of relationship books, those that didn't turn a page and by the authors themselves. If someone learned a thing or two from all the reading, great. But we still have failed relationships out there so please don't go recommending authors or quoting relationship gospel unless you've learned it and lived by it - successfully. Amen sister, I read, went back to college among other things & was open to change.

As to the example of she gets an engagement ring and in exchange she brings "gentleness and loving into hes (sic) life", um, no. Poor example. How about both are giving love into each other's life, both contribute respect, kindness, care and attention, gentleness,value, etc. to the relationship. Some want all this PLUS a ring or token of some sort.

I don't recall anyone saying anything about feminists or feminazi's or accepting a ring making anyone less supportive of women's rights. The question was, in this day and age, is an engagement ring purchased by the man necessary? Its a good question. I'm not going to slam anyone who wants one or "expects" one, to each their own. For me its not a requirement. I just find it odd that many of the women that proclaim how independent they are, how they are capable of running a home, having a career, raising children on their own, lived solo for some time, state that can do anything a man can and do it better and do so with bravado (not a bad thing by the way) yet go all "girly" and want an engagement ring.

No one should devalue themselves. We all have value, both genders.
I just don't put a price on it because I'm a woman, the price being an engagement ring.

How is being a feminine woman negating any other of my abilities? He is attracted to my femininity, he doesn't want to phuk another man. He appreciates my other qualities, but in a romantic/sexual union it is my feminine qualities that attract & hold him.

I get not everyone is into jewelry, but no one should be shamed for wanting & having a sexually polarized relationship.

If there are men out there who don't want to shell out 2 months of their salary for their beloved (should their beloved want/expect it), then they should consider the cost of a round trip fare to Parumph, NV plus the cost of just getting in the door of The Chicken Ranch for some minimal straight sex (missionary, no oral or anal, etc.)

I stand by what I said.
PS-
there's pressure on women as well. her fellow females want to see a big ass diamond, but maybe not as big as the one she herself is wearing. catty! *meow*
you hit the nail on the head!
 BelleAtlantic
Joined: 11/7/2012
Msg: 67
Engagement rings necessary in the 21st century?
Posted: 3/23/2015 9:42:43 AM

that's cool Belle.

but I think the snag is that there is pressure on men to buy an EXPENSIVE or exorbitant ring.

it's like the more costly the ring the more the man loves her.

a $1000 ring says I love you but a $10,000 ring screams "I LOVE YOU!!!!"

that's the fly in the ointment.

there's pressure on women as well. her fellow females want to see a big ass diamond, but maybe not as big as the one she herself is wearing. catty! *meow*


There is a lot of pressure on women in various aspects, in relationships and in marriage, so it all evens out.

Sometimes the item has value because the person you care about is giving it to you, and sometimes the item has value because it costs a lot of money. The recipient determines which value it has.

My ex gave me a ring because I lost a ring I loved during one of our motel runs. So he gifted me a ring (it was likely less than $100), it was princess cut white gold with tiny zircon stones on the sides and a turquoise gem, it has his name engraved inside. I love that ring, it is perfect. He said the turquoise stone will be replaced in time (hinting at engagement), and I said, it needs no replacement.

While I understand that some people do things to impress others, I often find people who brag about what they have, aren't happy inside.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 68
Engagement rings necessary in the 21st century?
Posted: 3/23/2015 9:56:29 AM

there's pressure on women as well. her fellow females want to see a big ass diamond, but maybe not as big as the one she herself is wearing. catty! *meow*


I always thought this was the main reason why women want/demand a diamond ring. They want to flash it around in front of their female friends and cohorts to make them envious or jealous. It's often a competition to see who will get the biggest and most expensive ring. Whenever a woman announces she's engaged, the very first thing everybody says is "Let's see the ring". In other words: "Let's see how much money your guy spent on you." That competition often carries over into wedding plans-to see who will have the most extravagant and expensive wedding.
 overunity
Joined: 8/16/2014
Msg: 69
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History
Engagement rings necessary in the 21st century?
Posted: 3/23/2015 10:13:35 AM
Diamond engagement ring and wedding~ $50,000, divorce ~ $500,000.
 474rusty
Joined: 3/16/2015
Msg: 70
Engagement rings necessary in the 21st century?
Posted: 3/23/2015 10:18:29 AM
Who the hell needs a link to the Equal Rights Amendment...that whole portion of your post seems unwarranted and juvenile as well as, well not necessary and a big "who cares". In fact, the whole post was silly and immature. Bolding sentences does not make for an intelligent argument. and I'm not arguing, just posting an opinion.

So if a man doesn't play by your rules he needs to go find a hooker in Nevada?? Once he puts a diamond on your finger he can do what he wants - more than missionary, oral and anal??? Okay.

And again, I said "I find it odd...." I didn't say a woman shouldn't request an engagement ring or is stupid for requesting an engagement ring. I just find it odd.

I stand by my opinion.

As to the pressure from fellow females to have a bigger diamond than her friends and falling for that ....THAT is stupid. Sometimes a woman is her own worst enemy.
 clooneystutor
Joined: 3/8/2015
Msg: 71
Engagement rings necessary in the 21st century?
Posted: 3/23/2015 10:42:42 AM
Does a bigger diamond compensate for other things?

If that's the case, then I definitely spent too much!

What if #4 asks how much I've spent on the others?

Should I fib?
 BLonde^j^AngeL
Joined: 1/2/2015
Msg: 72
Engagement rings necessary in the 21st century?
Posted: 3/23/2015 10:45:42 AM

Who the hell needs a link to the Equal Rights Amendment...that whole portion of your post seems unwarranted and juvenile as well as, well not necessary and a big "who cares". In fact, the whole post was silly and immature. Bolding sentences does not make for an intelligent argument. and I'm not arguing, just posting an opinion.

you mention equal rights, I post my definition as per the US bla bla bla


So if a man doesn't play by your rules he needs to go find a hooker in Nevada?? Once he puts a diamond on your finger he can do what he wants - more than missionary, oral and anal??? Okay.
Nope.


And again, I said "I find it odd...." I didn't say a woman shouldn't request an engagement ring or is stupid for requesting an engagement ring. I just find it odd.
I find it odd that you should be so adamant.


I stand by my opinion.
you should, as we all should.


As to the pressure from fellow females to have a bigger diamond than her friends and falling for that ....THAT is stupid. Sometimes a woman is her own worst enemy.
Agreed, but the person who posted it didn't agree w/ that, he was stating an observation.

Just a general statement, if people are going to throw out terms like "equals" & "equal rights" perhaps clarify what you mean by that. People have different interpretations of what those terms mean.

Edit your own posts, not mine. I like bold & will use it when I chose to. Maybe I find your POV juvenile as well as bitter & misogynistic/misandrist
 tgif111
Joined: 10/24/2014
Msg: 73
Engagement rings necessary in the 21st century?
Posted: 3/23/2015 11:01:37 AM
^^^^^somebody opened up a big can of whoop ass!

Clooney

What if #4 asks how much I've spent on the others?

Should I fib?


you say I spent as much on each as I could afford.

you buy her a zirconia. if she goes to have it appraised and you're busted then you know she doesn't trust you. if she doesn't trust you then say

my advice: just live with her or be in a committed relationship and have separate cribs. have a pre-nup.
 BLonde^j^AngeL
Joined: 1/2/2015
Msg: 74
Engagement rings necessary in the 21st century?
Posted: 3/23/2015 11:07:36 AM

^^^^^somebody opened up a big can of whoop ass!


May be my next user name...

Blonde_Whoop_Ass LoL



you say I spent as much on each as I could afford.

you buy her a zirconia. if she goes to have it appraised and you're busted then you know she doesn't trust you. if she doesn't trust you then say

my advice: just live with her or be in a committed relationship and have separate cribs. have a pre-nup.


good advice
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 75
Engagement rings necessary in the 21st century?
Posted: 3/23/2015 11:10:20 AM
Some people do have rings appraised for insurance purposes, has nothing to do with
trust issue. I wouldn't mind a zirconia if I knew it was one, but I'd feel pretty awful if
I was "tricked" just to find out how trustworthy I was.

OT: I like the idea of engagement rings. I think if I got married again, I wouldn't want
one, but I would like the idea of buying each other nice wedding rings.

I don't think any ring is "necessary", but I think lots of people appreciate the old
fashioned gesture. I'd also think most people would be accepting of reasonable
limits when choosing a ring, but maybe not.

I wouldn't want someone withholding something from me because the person
or persons before me sucked...and not in a good way.
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