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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Engagement rings necessary in the 21st century?      Home login  
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 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 126
Engagement rings necessary in the 21st century?Page 6 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

InnerGorilla- Congrats again on your engagement and the new house! :)
I don't blame either one of you for not making a fuss about fancy rings, it's the long term that matters ;)
Simple bands are fine, the house and your marriage are more important, for sure.


Yeap, this is the one. However, I am missing her terribly this week. She took the kids down to Florida to see her sister so I am on my own this week. I sent her a text telling her how much I miss her and she said that she loved the fact that I told her, that she felt loved.
 justdeb1111
Joined: 8/12/2012
Msg: 127
Engagement rings necessary in the 21st century?
Posted: 4/6/2015 2:29:04 PM

I sent her a text telling her how much I miss her and she said that she loved the fact that I told her, that she felt loved.


Two "keepers" found each other...so sweet :)
 dahlingdarling
Joined: 5/11/2012
Msg: 128
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History
Engagement rings necessary in the 21st century?
Posted: 4/14/2015 1:56:49 AM
In these days of equality I find gender traditions are rarely updated.

A gal still generally does most of the childcare/household duties the only update is now she also contributes to half of the finances. Plus a gal generally is still the one expected to change her name to the husbands the only update is now guys can change his name to the wife (though he has the stigma of being seen as less of a man). So in my opinion a diamond ring is a fair exchange for the name change and unpaid uneven future work.
 slowitalldown
Joined: 1/25/2013
Msg: 129
Engagement rings necessary in the 21st century?
Posted: 4/14/2015 7:17:46 AM
IG if you really don't care about the monetary cost of the rings, I suggest trying a pawnshop for the main reason that you will find older more unique styles.
 CharminC
Joined: 2/19/2011
Msg: 130
Engagement rings necessary in the 21st century?
Posted: 4/14/2015 8:45:47 AM

I suggest trying a pawnshop for the main reason that you will find older more unique styles.


This is actually true. Or thrift stores and antique shops where you can haggle the prices. There are some real gems out there are very unique!
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 131
Engagement rings necessary in the 21st century?
Posted: 4/14/2015 11:39:31 AM

IG if you really don't care about the monetary cost of the rings, I suggest trying a pawnshop for the main reason that you will find older more unique styles.


This is a great idea. We talked about it when she got back from Florida. We were going to build the house first, but my may have an spiritual ceremony.
 notthedoctor2
Joined: 3/19/2015
Msg: 132
Engagement rings necessary in the 21st century?
Posted: 4/14/2015 3:04:32 PM
Of course a diamond engagement ring is neither necessary nor a great financial investment. However, many women just love them, and why wouldn't a man want to give his fiance a lovely and generous gift? I loved my engagement ring, and every time I looked at it, it made me happy to think that the guy I was totally in love with bought it just for me. Over the many years we were married, I bought him many gifts and I spent a lot of time, effort, and money on making the gifts special. As far as I know, he didn't begrudge me the ring I wanted, and he certainly never asked for it back . It was expensive at the time (when we were both young and poor !) but by the time we got divorced, he was making great money, and the cost of the ring wasn't something he was concerned about.

If a guy can't afford it, that's different, but if a man just doesn't want to spend the money and thinks it's stupid tradition, he really needs to make sure his intended is on the same page, or her feelings will probably be hurt ( she might think he doesn't think she is worth it ) and that's not a great start to a marriage.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 133
Engagement rings necessary in the 21st century?
Posted: 4/14/2015 3:30:40 PM

I loved my engagement ring, and every time I looked at it, it made me happy to think that the guy I was totally in love with bought it just for me.


What did you think of the ring when you got divorced? The reason I asked is because of using the past tense in the statement: "I loved it....every time I looked at it". Don't you feel the same way about the ring now as when you first got it? If not, what does the ring mean to you now?
 notthedoctor2
Joined: 3/19/2015
Msg: 134
Engagement rings necessary in the 21st century?
Posted: 4/14/2015 3:41:04 PM

What did you think of the ring when you got divorced?


I still think the ring is gorgeous, and I still think my ex husband was incredibly generous in buying it for me. I enjoyed wearing it for a long time.


If not, what does the ring mean to you now?


It is a reminder of a happy time in my life. We were married for 17 years and have three beautiful children. Although it didn't work out, I do not regret my marriage, so why would the ring mean anything negative to me now? I would give it to one of my sons if one of them wants it.
 Kissfromarose77
Joined: 4/13/2015
Msg: 135
Engagement rings necessary in the 21st century?
Posted: 4/22/2015 8:51:17 AM
The diamond ring tradition is not actually that old. It was started in the 1940's by the Diamond Cartel De Beers. Diamond engagement rings were for a long time only the prerogative the aristocracy in the Victorian Age. In 1947 De Beers introduced the phrase "A diamond is forever." Their marketing campaign sought to convince people that diamond engagement rings are a necessity.

A tradition started by a company less than 100 years ago is hardly a traditional in my opinion.
 forums1
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 136
Engagement rings necessary in the 21st century?
Posted: 4/23/2015 9:28:12 PM

The diamond ring tradition is not actually that old. It was started in the 1940's by the Diamond Cartel De Beers. Diamond engagement rings were for a long time only the prerogative the aristocracy in the Victorian Age. In 1947 De Beers introduced the phrase "A diamond is forever." Their marketing campaign sought to convince people that diamond engagement rings are a necessity.

A tradition started by a company less than 100 years ago is hardly a traditional in my opinion.


It was a great marketing strategy to get you to buy their "product" though, wasn't it?
Kinda like the car ads with the sexy women leaning against them, to play on men with "buy this car and you'll get women like this."
 norwegianguy123
Joined: 10/27/2014
Msg: 137
Engagement rings necessary in the 21st century?
Posted: 4/23/2015 10:44:49 PM

I would look into that, plus anyone willing to tell about "Canadian" diamonds?

They're shaped like hockey pucks. They have true genuine hockey puck rubber material in the center! Every Canadian gal warms up to them.

Sadly, a co-workers brother was expected to provide a ring of at least $15K in value.

Ouch. I could see a guy who's a multi-millionaire and wouldn't know the difference between a fashionable shirt and a hole in the ground, and his wife-to-be saying "I honestly don't care... just take the advice of a jeweler ... and just to be sure, make sure it's at least $15k, to ensure it's nice no matter what ya pick since you wouldn't know." $15k would just be like $15 to them anyway. But ASIDE from all that -- yeah, that's ridiculous.

Is the engagement a 3rd date, or an engagement between two people who are "one" and just want to make it legally/religiously official and have a party to celebrate in the coming months? That's something out of "The Wedding Ringer" (star's wife in the movie).

Speaking of some folks treating it like a date... would a gal who claims its not about him spending tons of cash be upset if she found out he has connections with the dealer high up and got a $10k ring for only $1,000? Or if he found a deal online overseas and bought a $15k ring you'd get locally, with an online coupon for only $1,000? Same ring, same everything.

I had a talk with my sister in law once about how they can (and do) easily make More Perfect diamonds and sell them, but they cost less despite being more perfect because they're man-processed, not processed over time. I made the argument it would be like ordering food that tasted better VS the same type of food that marinated for long periods of time overseas but didn't taste as good, but was more expensive. She said that "natural" diamonds are more expensive because they're excavated and all, but I pointed out that the price would DROP like a rock if it was an even-market -- they have WAY more "natural" diamonds, they just hold them back to keep the market price high. In the end, she admitted that if Truly Perfect diamonds (which are not 'natural') DID cost notably more and others woo'd the Concept -- yeah, she wouldn't have a problem with them. In the end, she admitted -- the financial sacrifice is what mattered -- and of course, the ring looking good, too.
 Dallasroadie
Joined: 2/12/2016
Msg: 138
Engagement rings necessary in the 21st century?
Posted: 2/29/2016 10:18:14 AM
I want a big one, two carats.

Actually, I have one and I don't know what to do with it. I'm sitting on the fence between keeping it as it is or making it over. I should just wear the darn thing.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 139
Engagement rings necessary in the 21st century?
Posted: 2/29/2016 3:05:43 PM
There should be a business where people can lease wedding and engagement rings for a certain time frame, and keep renewing every five or ten years, which would solve the problem of what to do with rings that lost their meaning when a marriage ends. But, of course, the problem with that is every person thinks their marriage will be on the 50% side that lasts forever until death. That's the same reason why most people are totally against having a pre-nup.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 140
Are engagement rings necessary in the 21st century?
Posted: 2/29/2016 3:36:48 PM
"I want a big one, two carats"

>>>hey, I thought size wasn't an issue?

as for a ring on the lay-it-away plan, there should be an insurance policy offered. I'm sure there's an actuary somewhere who's got it all fingered out.

screw it, my mother's passed away, should I find the right woman, i'll just use my mom's ring and use some sentimental pap to excuse the fact i'm using a free ring. women just want something to show off anyway, right?

sorry NJ, I was teasing.
 NJgirl116
Joined: 7/3/2015
Msg: 141
Are engagement rings necessary in the 21st century?
Posted: 2/29/2016 3:55:28 PM
Women just this, women just that, this forum makes me sick.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 142
Are engagement rings necessary in the 21st century?
Posted: 2/29/2016 4:57:04 PM
2 carats pretty small :/
Yes we want a big rock, big**** big bank acct
And a Man who doesn't stink of disliking Women
Get that tattooed on yourself
Edited to add
No diamond envy here, my ring is nearly 4 carats :)
 IgottaName
Joined: 3/29/2014
Msg: 143
Engagement rings necessary in the 21st century?
Posted: 3/1/2016 3:49:50 AM
First of all, this was never a tradition. It was marketing. The diamond industry invented the whole giving a diamond as an engagement ring in the early 1900's, even down to the one month's salary "rule". Strictly marketing.
 Lasthookbringsme
Joined: 11/8/2015
Msg: 144
Engagement rings necessary in the 21st century?
Posted: 3/1/2016 4:50:24 AM

There should be a business where people can lease wedding and engagement rings for a certain time frame, and keep renewing every five or ten years, which would solve the problem of what to do with rings that lost their meaning when a marriage ends.


No. I earned every ****ing diamond and sapphire on that ring in my marriage.
 Dallasroadie
Joined: 2/12/2016
Msg: 145
Engagement rings necessary in the 21st century?
Posted: 3/1/2016 6:33:10 AM
^^^ I'm sure a few hundred thousand men would say the same thing if they were given an engagement ring. :=). Bitter?

Marketing, you're right. Then it grew. Market diamonds to show how much you love your fiancé , an eternity ring to show you "still" love her, for Mothers Day, Valentine's Day amd every anniversary. Marketing. Dad gets a new tie or a new hammer.
 revoskeepnus
Joined: 8/4/2015
Msg: 146
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History
Engagement rings necessary in the 21st century?
Posted: 3/1/2016 6:34:34 AM
2 carats is small??? Yous some rich mofos.
Yes.. In the 21st cent you should still buy a ring
Just don't expect me to wear it
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 147
Engagement rings necessary in the 21st century?
Posted: 3/1/2016 7:23:49 AM

First of all, this was never a tradition. It was marketing. The diamond industry invented the whole giving a diamond as an engagement ring in the early 1900's, even down to the one month's salary "rule". Strictly marketing.


So why was there never any marketing for guys to get a prize from women when getting engaged? Retailers are missing out on half of the population.
 caballerosiempre
Joined: 12/5/2015
Msg: 148
Engagement rings necessary in the 21st century?
Posted: 3/1/2016 7:29:35 AM
women claim to be "more evolved" than men.

but they are still terribly impressed by shiny , flashy objects..
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 149
Engagement rings necessary in the 21st century?
Posted: 3/1/2016 8:22:06 AM
To clarify,
SOME women.
My grandmother, my mother, never wore/owned a diamond.
My grandmother was buried without her wedding band. ( My aunt found it a year or so later where my grandmother saved it, in a shoebox)
My mother never wore her wedding band during her marriage of 38 years. She has no idea when or where it came up missing.

I wore a simple wedding band to first husband.
I gave the wedding ring set, from my 2nd husband, (HE insisted, and gave me the wedding set he had purchased for a previous engagement) to my son when he became engaged. My daughter-in-law wears the diamond.

My daughter wears a small wedding set of her choosing.
My sister-in-law wears a simple gold band.

SOME women!
EDIT:
IF a man, any man seems to think he has earned the right to complain, pitch a fit, about women who desire and/or demand the bling/diamond/bright shiny things....................LOL ????WHO picked her????
 Whisky_River
Joined: 12/2/2015
Msg: 150
Engagement rings necessary in the 21st century?
Posted: 3/1/2016 8:24:51 AM

Women just this, women just that, this forum makes me sick

Oh come on...My day wouldn't be complete if there wasn't at least 2 new threads started about..
How bad, greedy and stupid us women all are....

Because hell would freeze over before women started buying men shiny useless objects with their own money.

Hhmmm.......Men don't seem to care for shiny objects so much as women but I can tell you, when "we" (my husband)started a new business
and there wasn't a paycheck to take for a couple years for either of us. I supported him and paid the bills...is that good enough?
Point for me was......he was worth it and he never took it for granted.
In my last relationship.....I bought him many more things than he did me.....but "he" in the end wasn't worth it.
My bad choice there......that's right!! He didn't twist my arm !!!
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