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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Men need to learn courting skills for their own benefit      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 776
Men need to learn courting skills for their own benefitPage 32 of 37    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37)

They go for it and show you were they are at in life:)


You mean like Donald Trump?
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 777
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History
Men need to learn courting skills for their own benefit
Posted: 3/30/2016 7:13:20 PM
I think fwb for most men means they dont have to court or woo you, dont spend money on you or have to impress.

You would be a friend that they can screw occasionally and without commitment.

I dont know many women who would be happy with that for very long. Either it is a platonic friendship or it is a love affair IMO. Not both.
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 778
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Men need to learn courting skills for their own benefit
Posted: 3/30/2016 7:18:24 PM

In their own, feminine ways, they actually do. Most women make it very clear when they are interested and it is up to the man to act on it if he is interested.


Oh? Since when? Is there some secret code I don't know about? I'll bet there is.
 NJgirl116
Joined: 7/3/2015
Msg: 779
Men need to learn courting skills for their own benefit
Posted: 3/30/2016 7:19:08 PM
Letitia,
I remember reading somewhere that you have about 3 months to screw with a woman's head (implied fwb) until she dumps you... So enjoy the 3 months and be prepared to get dumped when she wants to have "the talk" and proclaims that she deserves better.
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 780
Men need to learn courting skills for their own benefit
Posted: 3/30/2016 7:24:29 PM
Lol.

I have a preemptive strike policy when I smell a dumping coming.

A first move offense typically enjoys the advantage when things end.

Keeps my heart in tact :)

YMMV
 NJgirl116
Joined: 7/3/2015
Msg: 781
Men need to learn courting skills for their own benefit
Posted: 3/30/2016 7:29:27 PM
Lol

BTW "Lucy" ...

Been with the love of your life for 18 years and you're 28? Interesting.
 2ufo
Joined: 2/28/2015
Msg: 782
Men need to learn courting skills for their own benefit
Posted: 3/30/2016 7:40:59 PM


Yes I've been with him 18 years now and it's been the happiest 18 years of my life and I'm sure the happiest 18 years of his life too:)


Your profile says you're 28 year old- what were you, 10 years old when you met him?


That's in sock puppet years.
 caballerosiempre
Joined: 12/5/2015
Msg: 783
Men need to learn courting skills for their own benefit
Posted: 3/30/2016 7:45:42 PM
Lucy perhaps is not really 28 years old, nor Muslim, nor thin..nor anything listed on the profile.
 flman2015
Joined: 10/3/2015
Msg: 784
Men need to learn courting skills for their own benefit
Posted: 3/30/2016 7:46:58 PM


Oh? Since when? Is there some secret code I don't know about? I'll bet there is.


And you'd win the bet if you had not claimed it was a secret. The following was posted by a woman in the forums quite a while back (I won't put what she said in quotes to make it easier to read) here:

Ways a women (sic) let men know they are interested without saying it....

1. She gives the guy the "come-hither" look by shooting him with an unmistakable alluring look or glance.

2. She lets her fingers do the talking by circling the rim of her glass of wine, twirling a pen, massaging her shoulder or neck, or lightly touching or squeezing a man's hand.

3. Bouncing and behaving hair is one of the secret weapons of the seasoned female flirter. A woman will flip her hair, tuck it behind her ears, play with her bangs or whip strands of her hair in circles.

4. Lips are tools not wasted by the experienced flirt. Applying Chanel red lipstick or slowly eating crème brûlée off of her fork can be seductive.

5. Sharon Stone was on to something in the movie "Basic Instinct."Continuously crossing and uncrossing her legs (with panties on, please) is a definite attention-getter.

6. Dangling high-heeled shoes or stilettos while sitting at a bar stool lets a man know she isn't going anywhere for a while.

7. Of course, nothing beats a pretty smile. If a woman continuously smiles at you, chances are you are the one she's interested in.

8. She will lean into you when you are speaking to her.

9. Ways to improve your chances....... I remember the guys who I like the way they smell. I am shocked at the number of guys who do not use cologne.

10. Fragrance has long been a useful weapon in a man's flirting armoury and with good reason. Not only has a study by the famous Kinsey Institute revealed that women who sniff a male fragrance while fantasising about an erotic experience become more sexually aroused, our sense of smell is handled by the same part of the brain associated with basic instincts - including sexual desire.

11. If you want to make sure fragrance really hits the spot with her go for ones like Thierry Mugler's A*Men or Chanel's Allure Homme Edition Blanche which contain vanilla - a recent survey showed it to be one of women's favourite smells.

12. Balance is every thing.... DO not come off as her next stalker. It comes off creepy not sexy.

13. Never appear too interested

14. Locking eyes and smiling is clearly the most obvious sign you're interested in a woman but never over do it. "With the flirtatious smile, the flirter should briefly show enjoyment, gaze away, then back," advises Daniel McNeill, author of The Face: A Guided Tour.

15. Looking away isn't just an effective tease, it's also a powerful flirting technique because it sends out a conflicting signals, forcing the object of your affection to look closer at you to get reassurance that you're actually interested.

16. If she refuses to look at you it is because she would really rather YOU not look at her. A word to the wise: Be careful about the direct eye contact approach. Because it is so direct, both of you need to be on the same page. If someone you like looks away or stops making eye contact with you, chances are they are not interested so you need to move on.

And I never thought of this one but I can see how it could work to your advantage it.

17. Women might be attracted to a well-groomed man (it shows you're capable of looking after yourself and by implication other people including her too) but it doesn't always pay to be too well presented.

18. In fact, a little untidiness can positively work to your advantage, especially as women can't resist tidying men up. This is why some flirting coaches suggest wearing a tie and leaving it slightly crooked - the idea being that women simply won't be able to resist straightening it. And once she has her hands on you half the battle is won.

And I'd say she kept quite a few ones to herself.... there is plenty more. There is nothing more enjoyable in life than surfing the feminine flirting waves of an attractive womam while adding a few waves of your own. :-)
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 785
Men need to learn courting skills for their own benefit
Posted: 3/30/2016 7:48:47 PM


Lucy perhaps is not really 28 years old


You got that right. Lucy is ~ 3.18 million years old.

Lucy is the common name of AL 288-1, several hundred pieces of bone fossils representing 40 percent of the skeleton of a female of the hominin species Australopithecus afarensis.

I suspect Lucy has had more partners then anyone on the planet.
 2ufo
Joined: 2/28/2015
Msg: 786
Men need to learn courting skills for their own benefit
Posted: 3/30/2016 8:19:28 PM
^^^^^^
And, she still garners plenty of attention!

fiman
The Cliff Notes of Female Flirting:
She makes eye contact and smiles.
She touches you lightly and smiles.

Maybe it goes nowhere, but at least smile back.
 ndm147
Joined: 8/1/2013
Msg: 787
Men need to learn courting skills for their own benefit
Posted: 3/30/2016 9:18:55 PM
Lucy has been very active lately on the forums. But she has toned down the accusatory remarks.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 788
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History
Men need to learn courting skills for their own benefit
Posted: 3/30/2016 9:28:47 PM
I think you may be right njgirl, it is rare for a woman to want to be just a convenience for a guy for long.
The attachment hormones set in if she is fertile and of course women have a lot more to lose with casual sex.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 789
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Men need to learn courting skills for their own benefit
Posted: 3/31/2016 11:59:43 AM

In their own, feminine ways, they actually do. Most women make it very clear when they are interested and it is up to the man to act on it if he is interested.

I don't think most women make it very clear, although some do. If anything, even without asking someone out, guys tend to be more expressive that they like the other person than vice versa. You'll find more cases where the gal likes the guy who she mingled with, but has it more hidden than when he likes the girl. Not saying it's rare for a gal to show interest, but as a guy you have to look deeper, is all. But the deeper one has to dig, the more often you'll have someone coming across as half-interested when fully interested, or coming across not interested when they actually have some interest there.

But when a gal is in the same position as a guy is where they'd like to ask the other out -- Yes, usually much less digging there, and the guy should pick up on it most the time.

I think some guys would welcome the idea of men wearing high heels- it would make them a few inches taller.

I agree. High heels not required, as they make shoes to make one taller in non-high heel fashion. Tom Cruise on sets for movies allegedly would be put in them, as I'm sure many actors playing a masculine star will when dealing with other actors (notably female). Also, light makeup. If that culturally caught on, guys would benefit from that. They do it for everyone on camera, but gals do it IRL day to day, many times obviously piling it on thick.
 kj521
Joined: 9/20/2015
Msg: 790
Men need to learn courting skills for their own benefit
Posted: 3/31/2016 12:46:19 PM
Mr. Norwegian....I have a feeling that even if a woman made it very clear she was interested in you...you would completely miss it due to trying to analyze it. Lol!

And I will disagree...a believe it would be a rather small pool of women who would appreciate heels and make up on a man. That's taking metrosexual to another level. That is just based on my experience being a woman, having lots of female friends and too many to count ladies nights out. :D

But give it a try and let us know how that works out for you. ;)
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 791
Men need to learn courting skills for their own benefit
Posted: 3/31/2016 1:01:18 PM
indeed, sometimes we fail to see a clue b/c..we're not interested in seeing it from that person. And from a person we desperately want to be interested in us, we might see things not even there.

High heels and makeup? Perhaps fans of David Bowie and back in the hair-band days. and likely Johnny Depp can still pull it off as a pirate.

I suspect there may be times when a person of a sensual nature spots someone they really want, and so they start playing with the beverage glass or their leg bounces up and down subconsciously, as they give in to thinking delicious thoughts about what they want to do with that person. it might not always be a conscious, "hope the idiot notices i'm giving him the sign" action.
 Stellan77
Joined: 2/8/2016
Msg: 792
Men need to learn courting skills for their own benefit
Posted: 3/31/2016 1:27:12 PM
^^^ If you did some research into history you'll find that a lot of things that are considered feminine today were actually worn by men first. Men worn eyeliner in ancient Egypt, men were also the first one's to wear high heels. Culture dictates what is feminine and masculine- it's subjective.
 Blackwood85
Joined: 5/20/2013
Msg: 793
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Men need to learn courting skills for their own benefit
Posted: 3/31/2016 1:48:00 PM

don't think most women make it very clear, although some do. If anything, even without asking someone out, guys tend to be more expressive that they like the other person than vice versa. You'll find more cases where the gal likes the guy who she mingled with, but has it more hidden than when he likes the girl. Not saying it's rare for a gal to show interest, but as a guy you have to look deeper, is all. But the deeper one has to dig, the more often you'll have someone coming across as half-interested when fully interested, or coming across not interested when they actually have some interest there.


This, there were so many time in which I had no idea a woman was interested in me, my general thought process is that she's just friendly. So a smile coming from her to me means nothing, her showing up at places doesn't mean anything, her striking up a conversation with me just means she's a talkative person, if she's staring at me then I probably have something on my shirt or she's just looking in my direction but not at me. I literally have to have it spelled out a lot of times that "Hey this girl is really into you" then even then I think the person telling me is ****ing with me, even if it's the girls best friend. Because even at age 30 the idea of a woman secretly having a crush on me I can't fathom it. I'm not even sure how I get dates.
 crook_catcher
Joined: 1/27/2016
Msg: 794
Men need to learn courting skills for their own benefit
Posted: 3/31/2016 2:52:52 PM
^^^^^

Luckedoutlucy....need to be careful with the unanticipated lean in for the quick kiss...may turn into a moving target and the inevitably embarrassing face plant to nowhere haunts you forever. :(
 flman2015
Joined: 10/3/2015
Msg: 795
Men need to learn courting skills for their own benefit
Posted: 3/31/2016 2:53:11 PM


I don't think most women make it very clear, although some do.


I have to admit they won't tie you to a totem pole and threaten to burn you alive if you don't take them out. Most guys get the message before that or, what is more likely, the woman loses interest in the guy.



But the deeper one has to dig, the more often you'll have someone coming across as half-interested when fully interested, or coming across not interested when they actually have some interest there.


I think it's a lot easier, not to mention effective, to show one's interest instead of trying to dig interest that may or may not even exist but, could exist if you showed yours.



Tom Cruise on sets for movies allegedly would be put in them, as I'm sure many actors playing a masculine star will when dealing with other actors (notably female).


Tom Cruise is 5' 7", his ex-wife, Nicole Kidman is 5' 11". Nicole Kidman's current husband is 5' 10", when she is wearing heels, she is likely 5 inches taller than her current beau and may have been as much as 8 inches taller than her ex. Obviously, there are some things she values more in a man than his height. I'm sure we can all agree that she had plenty of taller choices than the ones she made.
 Ladyinred0407
Joined: 2/6/2016
Msg: 796
Men need to learn courting skills for their own benefit
Posted: 3/31/2016 3:18:06 PM

I can't fathom it. I'm not even sure how I get dates.


Says the man who told us last year "I'm on fire", LOL
Blackwood, you may not always "get it", but more often than not, you do.
You may not have the courting skills to get all the ladies you want, but from what we see here in the Forums, take credit for when you do. LOL We are not fooled!
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 797
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Men need to learn courting skills for their own benefit
Posted: 3/31/2016 5:23:57 PM

Ways a women (sic) let men know they are interested without saying it....


I've seen women do none of those things. Now, perhaps in your world they do that. From what planet do hail from?
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 798
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Men need to learn courting skills for their own benefit
Posted: 3/31/2016 6:01:03 PM

I have to admit they won't tie you to a totem pole and threaten to burn you alive if you don't take them out. Most guys get the message before that or, what is more likely, the woman loses interest in the guy.

I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about establishing interest between the two (which, sure, is many times done by asking out when too gray). Girls are less showing of their more-than-friends interest than guys are, is what I'm saying. Not an excuse for a guy not to have the balls to make a move. I'm saying that women aren't merely restrictive about asking a guy out, but open about everything else like guys are -- they also tend to be more reserved when it comes to showing more-than-friends-interest.

I think it's a lot easier, not to mention effective, to show one's interest instead of trying to dig interest that may or may not even exist but, could exist if you showed yours.

I agree. And guys will show interest, but will dig in their minds to see if it's reciprocated as things are progressing. Again, there's no shortage of gals who are reserved about showing interest -- so it's not like women make up for not asking a guy out by not being reserved. Women vary on that front (and vary to different degrees depending on what comfort zone mode they're in).

Tom Cruise is 5' 7", his ex-wife, Nicole Kidman is 5' 11". Nicole Kidman's current husband is 5' 10", when she is wearing heels, she is likely 5 inches taller than her current beau

She has expressed she likes it that she's not with a short guy and she can wear heels more freely. Guys would like to wear lifts and whatnot and would -- even tall guys -- if that was socially kosher. I'm sure Kidman certainly had/would-have no problem with Cruise wearing such things like he did on set when out with her.

I literally have to have it spelled out a lot of times that "Hey this girl is really into you" then even then I think the person telling me is ****ing with me, even if it's the girls best friend.

Sometimes us guys can be too clueless because many times, yes, a gal coming up and chit-chatting etc doesn't mean she's into you -- although there's somewhat of a chance. But as many of us guys know, when you have a convo with said girls who may be more than willing to be talkative etc with ya, you're not always going to get a # or find out she's single. Some like attention or just like the mingle, etc. However, obviously girls who do like you are also going to be in that generic boat -- so one should have to "throw the ball down field" sometimes, even though that doesn't mean a receiver's very open.
 Blackwood85
Joined: 5/20/2013
Msg: 799
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Men need to learn courting skills for their own benefit
Posted: 3/31/2016 6:45:31 PM


Says the man who told us last year "I'm on fire", LOL
Blackwood, you may not always "get it", but more often than not, you do.
You may not have the courting skills to get all the ladies you want, but from what we see here in the Forums, take credit for when you do. LOL We are not fooled!


LOL hell I take credit because it doesn't happen enough. I need to shout to high heavens when it happens because I don't know when it will happen again.
 flman2015
Joined: 10/3/2015
Msg: 800
Men need to learn courting skills for their own benefit
Posted: 3/31/2016 9:51:22 PM
@purplerider1200



I've seen women do none of those things. Now, perhaps in your world they do that. From what planet do hail from?


I’ll take you at your word but, that is far from my personal experience and that of most, if not all, of my friends. Honestly, she left out quite a few ways. For the record, the woman that posted that was from planet earth.


@norwegianguy456



Not an excuse for a guy not to have the balls to make a move.


Exactly and, it’s not hard to establish a conversation with a woman and figure out if there is at least some interest.



they also tend to be more reserved when it comes to showing more-than-friends-interest.


You can use the word reserved, personally I see them as being more subtle and likely more careful. A male is supposed, and is expected, to be assertive and take the initiative when he wants something. Women often refer to that as self confidence and, time and again, make it clear that it is a very attractive quality in a man.



but will dig in their minds to see if it's reciprocated as things are progressing.


If a woman is interested she will open the door to a number of opportunities for the man to take. If a woman doesn’t open those doors then, she is not interested. It really isn't hard to tell if someone is interested in someone or something.



I'm sure Kidman certainly had/would-have no problem with Cruise wearing such things like he did on set when out with her.


But what really matters is that she didn’t care and it seems that Tom didn’t either. Not everyone is hung up on how tall they are or aren’t.

I will concede that height is initially important to many women but, it is also a fact that, if a woman genuinely likes a man, height will not be a deal breaker. For OLD, it can be more of a problem because a picture does not paint the personality of an individual. OLD has definite disadvantages for both genders.



Guys would like to wear lifts and whatnot and would -- even tall guys -- if that was socially kosher.


Anything that is “compensating” for some insecurity isn’t going to work. It will only make the insecurity even more visible.
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