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 clooneystutor
Joined: 3/8/2015
Msg: 50
Just beginning to wonderPage 3 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
^^^^
Directed at msg 51.

Enough man bashing. Sheesh.
 CTRLvector
Joined: 9/21/2014
Msg: 51
Just beginning to wonder
Posted: 3/29/2015 4:46:32 AM

All don't belong to that group. They know who they are. There are many very interesting articles about group psychology in online forums and discussion boards.


If I came on this forum - and I said:

"Hey, I like older women, but I only like sex. Also women in the US are doodoo, and my ex is a steaming pile of dodo. I only like foreign women from country x, y, z. By the way - I'm smart, even though I'm obviously a moron."

And nobody ripped me a new asshole - then you would all be doing me a disservice. Because I would be one ignorant dumb **** of a person, spewing dumb-shit.

So deet - don't drag your soapbox out, then stand on it like you've got one to stand on. You're a man hater, always have been, always will be. The kind of ignorant women who blames men for her own problems.

So no...

There will be no quarter for blatant stupidity, especially if it is spoken in holier than thou fashion.


That is what open forums are for. Different viewpoints.


Exactly, so don't be a hypocrite - by asking people to hold their opinion back for political correctness.

Nobody dictates what I write - least of all you. So enjoy man-hating, because that's not completely ignorant.

Defend man hating - and then explain that it is about bullying - when it is so obviously to defend your own pathetic agenda.

At your age - I guess that's all you have left. Hate men, and defend man hating... ever think to blame yourself for your own failures? No, right, theme resumes ... how pathetic.
 Eternityboreme
Joined: 3/18/2015
Msg: 52
Just beginning to wonder
Posted: 3/29/2015 5:06:50 AM

I have a distaste for SOME men. I have to remind myself that the average person is quite literal.


Deetristate: If you feel these forums (and its participants)are beneath you, may I suggest you participate in forums that are more tailored to your brand of intellect and more challenging? Yes -- these are forums in which people can come and go as they please and share viewpoints that differ in context and content. That said, however, being of the most opinionated in this thread doesn't automatically grant you authority to decide whom gets to post what.

People were reacting to authenticity of the OPs complaints, given some striking contradictions. Some people are not as polished as others, but it's clear that nobody has "ill will" against the OP -- it seems that they want what's best for her, for the most part.

Part of a group? Aren't you a contributor of the PoF forums clique?
 Eternityboreme
Joined: 3/18/2015
Msg: 53
Just beginning to wonder
Posted: 3/29/2015 5:13:40 AM
Furthermore madam, I find your (over-generalized) comment about over 35 men very distasteful and your subsequent backpedaling when confronted about it quite disingenuous. How dare you.
 CTRLvector
Joined: 9/21/2014
Msg: 54
Just beginning to wonder
Posted: 3/29/2015 5:50:56 AM
She acts as though her ploy isn't obvious - defend the agenda of gender bashing, under guise of decency. What a noble endeavor, to defend ignorance, and claim intelligence. Sorry, we see through you, try again. And replace SOME with ALL, at least be honest... otherwise it insults the intelligence of myself and the posters above ^^^^

I've always been the first to assume responsibility for my own wrong-doing in relationships. I would never, under any circumstances, blame a gender, for MY failed relationships - or even in circumstances where my feelings were crushed. And I were cheated on - because I have been.

I as a man have had to confront the concept that - I as a man was not (for whatever reason) enough to satisfy a women. And it stung something awful, this after I was abandoned by a wife (now annulled) who gave up on me when I needed her most.

So hurt in the moment, that I felt like I needed to die. I've felt so miserable that I wanted to die - but never have I felt in a moment the need to die. I think that is the difference between suicide, and suicidal ideation. Because its one thing to romance suicide, its another to feel it necessary to die. And because of a women, because of my broken heart - I know the difference between the two.

And I will never, ever, under any circumstances, ever - blame women as a gender - as a whole. I will never blame women for the circumstances, nor the result of one women's decision to leave me in time of need. Or decision to cheat on me, despite my best efforts. Now you tell me about being jaded, because in my youth - I've seen the worst of it, and it almost cost me my life.

Tell me of the men who've wronged you, and tell me you're free from wrongdoing. Tell me why you have reason to make such ignorant claims, then defend likeminded ignorance - under guise of decency. When in fact your agenda, is indecent. Tell me why I should consider you intelligent, because you're not even average in opinion.

Go on, be a bigot to perpetuate and validate your own ignorance. Go on, be offended when ignorance is called out. But don't insult my intelligence by claiming to defend against bullying - when you're defending against your own ignorant opinion. At least have the decency to be honest with yourself, you're a man hater - you have your reasons - none of which are valid.

You're not intelligent, for fact that intelligence requires logic and truth. Logic you've ignored, and truth you've manipulated - for you've created your own delusion. The delusion of the coward - point fingers - and cry blame. Intelligence demands accountability, and you can only be counted on to defend your cowardly ways.
 dpwesu
Joined: 3/25/2013
Msg: 55
Just beginning to wonder
Posted: 3/29/2015 6:02:55 AM
while I haven't read the whole post here..........here is my take on this........

I am at a point where my BS detector is pretty honed in when it comes to men and what they want.

If they start talking to you about sex in the first conversation - be it email, instant messaging, text, or a mere voice to voice conversation via phone.....then that should be your first clue.

Yes it is true.....there are many men AND women who lie about their true intentions on here which makes it very very difficult for those who are quality and actually seeking a relationship.

What I would truly recommend - along with a profile review....take some time out and check out the Dating with Dignity website - datingwithdignity.com and Evan Marc Katz - they both have wonderful videos on youtube on handle dating situations.

But most importantly....value yourself. If you don't value yourself....nobody else will.
 deetristate
Joined: 12/4/2014
Msg: 56
Just beginning to wonder
Posted: 3/29/2015 9:41:01 AM
To all who responded:
Uh, Okay? shrug.

To the OP. my point was that you may have a better chance of meeting a sincere man or one that you can get to know before sex comes up if you join meet up or some such group. Or some other group in which yoou are interested - chess, reading, hiking, etc. tennis. A lot of the women here want commitment- less physical company as well. It is the nature of the beast.
If OLD is what you want to do, read some of the reviews of the various sites and determine from there where you may best find what you want. Here may not be it. I got hooked on the forums. I meet and go on dates with people elsewhere.
 justdeb1111
Joined: 8/12/2012
Msg: 57
Just beginning to wonder
Posted: 3/29/2015 10:32:21 PM

also id like to meet someone in between 29 and 45


Your profile still says "25 to 40".

Honestly, though, you do not look older---it's the angle of the photo and probably not the greatest camera either. You sound like someone who has survived a bad relationship and feels that men her age are cold blooded--hey welcome to the newly-separated-pending-divorce-party. I've been divorced for 10 years but still remember how that feels. However, younger men are not going to be any kinder to you just because they are younger. It is a pity you do not trust men your own age because men in their 40s-60s are, in my humble opinion, in their prime in many ways not the least of which is life experiences and empathy.

Best thing that you can do for now is take this to bio review forum and really listen to what they suggest. Also, a better picture(s) would help immensely as you've also restricted your responders to only those who have pictures you should do the same.

Good luck, strattygirl.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 58
Just beginning to wonder
Posted: 3/30/2015 10:07:11 AM
I see that you changed your profession in your profile from Mother to Housewife. But a separated woman putting down Housewife isn't much better.
 CTRLvector
Joined: 9/21/2014
Msg: 59
Just beginning to wonder
Posted: 3/30/2015 11:07:50 AM

my point was that you may have a better chance of meeting a sincere man or one that you can get to know before sex comes up if you join meet up or some such group.


You can't ask the impossible - and you can't expect that decency will be associated with anything. I mean any women would probably pass on a guy because he spent 2 years in prison for a non-violent drug offense. And if you judge him by his failures, you do so in error, because that same guy could have been perfect for you. Not saying that it is probable, just saying its possible.

Only you dismissed the idea because of a mistake early on - people change - people change all the time. But people certainly do not change because you desire them to. And just because the guy is in a book club for example, doesn't mean he is going to be Bob the perfect man who likes to read. He could just as easily be Bob the sexual deviant who likes to read.

Sincerity comes from the individual, it doesn't come from the place, or association, meet or club. You can't rightfully gauge anyone in regard to how sincere they may or may not be.
 CTRLvector
Joined: 9/21/2014
Msg: 60
Just beginning to wonder
Posted: 3/30/2015 11:33:42 PM
I wouldn't have been as caustic as you, but this is pretty much how I see it. OP has been been treated much more gently than she deserves IMO. And the fact she has deleted the pics that show her true age (the t-shirt that said "54" on it was a dead giveaway) and left only the "seductive" picture up shows her true intent.

Honestly, I wouldn't have even commented at all if not for the fact that she tried to use MS as a reason for her "premature"aging.

Yeah, babying a person who is clearly in the wrong, in context to what they're asking for. Then defending themselves as innocent when they are not. Defending indecency using arbitrary associations as excuse for accountability...

Yeah, I may have launched a nuke, when I could have sent an envoy... but shame is sometimes necessary, when accountability is avoided.

Thanks for agreeing with me though, I think we are right - and are in the right to make statements to similar end.
 professora
Joined: 7/28/2008
Msg: 61
view profile
History
Just beginning to wonder
Posted: 3/31/2015 5:34:49 PM
you look fine.
you do not look older as one poster said.

change your picture. it appears that you are seated on a bed (though you probably are not) & the post is suggestive (to my perception).

Take this post to the profile review. It could use some work and tweaking.

Good luck:) . No one wants to be alone.
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 62
view profile
History
Just beginning to wonder
Posted: 4/2/2015 7:54:22 PM
OP, you're going about this all wrong. Age has changed the rules on you; men will not come running after old women like we did when you were in your teens and twenties. You need to work on your marketing. Figure out who you want, and then figure out what your target market wants. Then learn how to be what they want; or at least, what some of them want. There are young men out there who want serious relationships with old women. There just aren't a lot of them, and in many cases, they don't want to be made fun of by their mates. What you'll have to do is start initial contact yourself. This may require hundreds, or even thousands of letters to much younger men, indicating your interest in them. In other words, welcome to the world of what single men go through every day; nearly constant rejection by the vast majority of those we write to. Don't get discouraged; eventually you'll find someone. But you're going to have to work at it, because the 'market' is filled with millions of other women just like you, and most of them are more physically attractive. Here's a suggestion; appeal to a sub specialty. If you can tolerate various sexual kinks, let that be known, because kinky men have a hard time finding compatible women. Most are normal the vast majority of the time, but on occasion we like to indulge in our out of the ordinary sexual past times. Crossdressers, submissives, furries, chubby chasers, there are all kinds of us out here. Read up on all the different fun things to get involved in and pick out what you can accept. Then tread on over to alt d0t com and advertise yourself again, with BETTER, NICER PICTURES!
Good luck. It's not an easy road, but you can do it. Set your goal, create your ads, and write to two people every day. Eventually you'll get answers. Even I did and less than 1% of all women want anything to do with guys like me. Remember, just two letters a day.
 Eternityboreme
Joined: 3/18/2015
Msg: 63
Just beginning to wonder
Posted: 4/3/2015 12:01:01 AM

. I dont go for Turkish men so much because they are very charming and I tend to get weary of that.


I understand. The cultural differences are just to vast to enumerate.

Plus, Western value seem to rank low in their opinion. If they are characterless, they'll attempt nikah mutah just to have sex, verbally divorce her, and marry somebody permanently in their tribe (not that they'll remain loyal or anything).
 Eternityboreme
Joined: 3/18/2015
Msg: 64
Just beginning to wonder
Posted: 4/3/2015 4:00:57 AM
It's illegal in Pakistan, for instance...but given their political and social climate at present, I don't know if it happens, now.

The purpose of proper Nikah is to legalize sex between the couple upon MUTUALLY agreed terms in marriage. (I don't know the specifics from culture to culture that specifically. It's to the woman's benefit: she is not only given a mahr in marriage -- a wedding gift of cash, property or another tangible items -- that the groom is supposed to give either up front or during the course of marriage, depending on his situation AND her approval.

It's usually a retractable commitment: a woman can do so if she isn't getting enough sex, for instance, or if her husband's fails in something -- but the woman is supposed to be left with property and some income, if she divorces him or he divorces her. Some women in these divorce situations are murdered by way of Sharia law --miscarriages of justice, imho --through trumped up charges of adultery and so forth, so the husband can divorce her without being accountable, often to marry another or be free.

Of course there are cases for annulment -- and that's an entirely different situation.

In this case -- in Nikah Mutah-- it's mutually agreed sex, not even legal, no mahr (well, sometimes a small token of "thanks" is presented -- it's a kin to somebody buying dinner and expecting a roll in the proverbial hay afterwards), no accountability and time length of sexual interest depends on the people "married."

I was shocked to learn this arrangement happens in Turkey, too. My friend had experienced this and she didn't have an understanding of the whole concept of these mutahs.

Opinions of this arrangement vary.
 Strawberry_Jello
Joined: 5/13/2014
Msg: 65
view profile
History
Just beginning to wonder
Posted: 4/3/2015 8:35:53 AM
I get offers from younger men. Often, regularly, persistent lil buggers. Some beg, some tell me I'm making a mistake to turn them down. So yes, I do not get men in my age bracket running after me, but the young ones, they keep trying.


OP, you're going about this all wrong. Age has changed the rules on you; men will not come running after old women like we did when you were in your teens and twenties.
 Qura
Joined: 8/5/2014
Msg: 66
view profile
History
Just beginning to wonder
Posted: 4/3/2015 9:57:46 AM
You can go on other sites for connecting with people from other countries and I'll bet you will find lots of men interested in you.

Here's the think: you are very vulnerable for exploitation. You can be viewed as "green card" material (a guy who wants to come to the US can hook up with an older woman, pretend to love her, they get married, he gets his green card then starts treating her like s*it, cheats, takes all her money, etc., etc.).

Think about what you really want--if it is just a sexual relationship with a man you find really attractive, that's ok. Be clear in your own mind first, and very explicit, keeping in mind that some guys may who just want something ( a green card, your money), will be very likely to stick around to win you--guys who "just want sex" (and there is nothing wrong with that) won't stick around. So, sticking around is no guarantee, in your case, that the guy really cares about you. That makes it harder unless you protect yourself--and your $$ (however little it seems to you may be attractive to someone else), and make it really clear you don't intend to be someone's sugar momma while they cheat on you behind your back.
 deetristate
Joined: 12/4/2014
Msg: 67
Just beginning to wonder
Posted: 4/8/2015 7:47:05 PM

Plus, Western value seem to rank low in their opinion. If they are characterless, they'll attempt nikah mutah just to have sex, verbally divorce her, and marry somebody permanently in their tribe (not that they'll remain loyal or anything).



I once saw a Middle Eastern man new to the states being "interviewed" because he was accused of sexual harassment. It was asked whether he dated the woman . He said, yes, they went on dates. They then asked whether they had sex. He said, "Ins't that what a date means in America?"

Looks like it means the same in England.
 pepperstrand
Joined: 1/25/2015
Msg: 68
Just beginning to wonder
Posted: 9/21/2015 8:27:49 AM
Too funny, love your response to her. I was surprised at her settings. I did not read them and well you gave her the 10-4 on reality, love it!
 MaleFeasance
Joined: 3/13/2015
Msg: 69
Just beginning to wonder
Posted: 9/21/2015 1:21:04 PM
Well, she's a 44 year old, occasional smoker, whose body type doesn't nearly fit the claim of average body type, living in london who is only interested in younger foreign men. Well, if that's what she really wants and she is realistic about the percentages of men who qualify, great. However, she goes on to say why she prefers foreign men, so apparently, what she wants is men with the qualities of some foreign men she has been involved with. In that case, she'd have a better chance of finding what she wanted by looking for those qualities instead of assuming something about how those qualities relate to foreign. The chances drop a lot when one uses criteria that don't necessarily reflect the qualities one associates with the criteria.
 spot4username
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 70
Just beginning to wonder
Posted: 9/21/2015 2:12:54 PM

Well, she's a 44 year old


I have a bridge I would like to discuss with you. I believe you may want to purchase it. I also have some swampland that is priced to sell!

 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 71
view profile
History
Just beginning to wonder
Posted: 9/21/2015 2:38:09 PM
Wait is that the Brooklyn Bridge? Do I get a residential discount?
 Whatsamatterbaby
Joined: 5/6/2015
Msg: 72
Just beginning to wonder
Posted: 9/21/2015 2:44:17 PM
Why would anyone want to buy a bridge when everyone can walk on water? Wait! Does it have a troll under it?
 coffeetogo127
Joined: 5/16/2015
Msg: 73
Just beginning to wonder
Posted: 9/21/2015 3:39:32 PM
Why does anyone care what age she is- she has posted photos. Snarky much?


OP you will have a hard time finding what/who you want, but so does everyone else. And the youngest most beautiful women also find out that some men only want sex. (It is true that some women only want sex, the difference is they really don't need to lie about it to get it usually)

We may all know what we want, but I have a feeling we could be surprised at who we are attracted to if meeting in a different manner.
 tequila157
Joined: 9/3/2015
Msg: 74
Just beginning to wonder
Posted: 9/22/2015 5:17:33 AM
No matter where you meet men, most are after sex. On or offline it will be the same issue. In my personal opinion, meeting men offline is the best way to go. If you expect to meet a credible guy off here, learn to have thick skin. FYI, even if a guy just wants sex, it's YOU who needs to stand out! If he feels you're worth more, he will budge.
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