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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Can our hobbies, as much as we enjoy them, limit our dating success?      Home login  
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 VolkanoKing
Joined: 8/1/2014
Msg: 101
Can our hobbies, as much as we enjoy them, limit our dating success?Page 5 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
Most of my posts, believe it or not..especially the ones at the start..were a form of *encouragement* to try to tell you that height isn't always an issue to everyone. For 18 years I was with men who were shorter than me. I don't care how tall a man is. That in part is why I can't entirely go along with your steadfast conclusion about height.

If you wish me to grant you the "satisfaction of being right" then I would have to agree with you that you are a too short loser that no woman wants to be with. Should I do that?


In all honesty, I was ALWAYS trying to show you another way around this mental block you have. There are many voices here expressing the same sentiment.

You seem hellbent on defeat, piddling your time away writing novels about how you are too short. What super amazing thing have you been doing all morning that allowed you the spare time to dedicate to your epics here on this forum? Are you at work? Engaged in your hobby?

From my vantage point, it seems time wasted, precious time you could be using to engage/attract women and get something going in your life.

 ThePig0fYourDreams
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 102
Can our hobbies, as much as we enjoy them, limit our dating success?
Posted: 3/30/2015 3:05:31 PM
Hawking, hurry up and make arrangements to meet VolkanoKing already. The two of you can't keep going on like this. This story needs a climactic ending.
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 103
Can our hobbies, as much as we enjoy them, limit our dating success?
Posted: 3/30/2015 3:15:46 PM

You seem hellbent on defeat, piddling your time away writing novels about how you are too short. What super amazing thing have you been doing all morning that allowed you the spare time to dedicate to your epics here on this forum? Are you at work? Engaged in your hobby?


Exactly, and if you put the same amount of energy into finding not a justification for failure, but a way to succeed, eventually you would.
 HawkingJr
Joined: 4/16/2007
Msg: 104
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Can our hobbies, as much as we enjoy them, limit our dating success?
Posted: 3/31/2015 8:18:44 AM
"So when you plan to free up for the possibility of dating? when you're retired?"

For the first time in 8 years, I have an entire month with no weekend plans. Bring on the dates! (Yeah, like being available to date matters. It's not like I have ever stopped trying to date, whether I was available to do so or not. I'm pretty sure the 8 year anniversary of my last date will pass unthreatened in a couple of weeks.)

"Dude, had you invited her to your place to see you edit, not only would have earned you a great massage while putting hours on the computer, but while explaining with total passion what you were working on, you would have fvcked her brains out repeatedly."

My editing computer is at work, and as most of my editing took place around 3 in the morning, I'm quite sure there would have been questions about the non-employee in the building. I brought my ex-girlfriend to my office at 3 in the morning a couple of times and was questioned about her being there, even though we really just ran into the building to grab something or print something before running out again.

Vector: Say what?

Countering all those arguments would take hours. VK is right -- that would be effort I could better put toward something more worthwhile. I wish it was dating, but, you know. Instead I have to go deal with a film festival venue proposal.

One thing I will respond to:

"Dream girls don't exist, and if they did (you being an intellectual) I would wager it be contingent upon knowing her. You don't even give yourself the opportunity to know a dream girl - so don't fool yourself. "

I met my true "dream girl" from Match a bunch of years ago: gorgeous, voluptuous, super-intelligent, college-educated, career rocketing, delightful personality, almost identical common interests, including sports and movies -- to be pretty much honest, she was just about any normal guy's dream girl and I couldn't even figure out what she was doing single, much less replying to my initial message.

I worked so hard not to blow my meeting with her that I naturally blew it big time.

Of course that incident screwed me up, because now that I know a woman like that was once willing to consider dating me, I've measured every woman since her against her and they all fail to compare. I will probably never be fully satisfied, whereas before her, I dated several (vastly inferior) women I could have spent my whole life with and been fine (well, not really).

VK: I honestly believe, where I currently live and all the places I previously lived, race is a bigger hindrance than height. And it’s going to be pretty difficult for you to argue against the South being racist. People talk about the superficiality of L.A. all the time, but the strong racial diversity of that area and the casual West Coast attitude would undoubtedly greatly benefit me socially (in addition to the obvious career-wise). But life is what it is. I am stuck here for some time.

I’m well aware you do not subscribe to typical female dating philosophy, and that there are some others for which that is true (after all, I dated several of them). Of course you ladies are needles in a haystack and it is HARD work finding needles in a haystack, though I don’t have to tell you that, considering you have said finding a man worth dating is also like finding a needle in a haystack. It is a similar problem, though not quite the same: I’ve found many women worth dating, but they won’t date me; you’ve found many men who will date you but aren’t worth dating. I do appreciate the attempts at encouragement, but I don’t really come here for encouragement. I have real life friends for that. I come here for thoughtful debate and bully-slaying. And distraction. Usually from work (I never log in to this site from home anymore – hell, until recently, I almost never was home). Obviously, it’s a terrible way to distract myself from the pathetic status of my existence, because the entire message board is dedicated to what makes my existence pathetic. Undoubtedly I am a masochist in that regard.

When you think about it, we’re only in this particular discussion of why I can’t get dates because you injected that into an entirely unrelated topic, as my original on topic response only mentioned how my hobby has at times gotten in the way of dating. I didn’t mention or even infer anything about my height. You’re the one who dragged that in here. I gotta fight the fight that's brought to me -- if I've got a knife and you've got a gun, then I've got to go get a gun, because you don't bring a knife to a gunfight.
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 105
Can our hobbies, as much as we enjoy them, limit our dating success?
Posted: 3/31/2015 8:47:01 AM

race is a bigger hindrance than height. And it’s going to be pretty difficult for you to argue against the South being racist.


This statement here could deserve it's own whole thread. I tend to agree here with Halking about the South. There are huge racial taboos that are difficult to overcome. Florida, for instance can be the Deep South until you get to Orlando, then transitions to a mix of New York and South America. Yet racial relations South of Orlando are filled with mistrust and apprehension. Then there's Orlando itself. My brother lives there. It has such a huge community of foreigners that anyone that throws the race card there is going to get trampled and spit out. Then north of Orlando it's as backwards as it gets until you get to Atlanta. Atlanta is African American Mecca particularly since Hip hop and a lot of music production and film is taking place here. But Atlanta is a weird animal. Inside the Perimeter is very open to different cultures. Outside the perimeter and you are in Republican, bible thumping territory. Where I now live, in Decatur, there's a bit of a back lash against white people. A lot of the black neighborhoods have been gentrified by younger professionals. These professionals are white, black, ethnic and don't have issues with the urban scene. But the older folk feel encroached. You also see a great number of multi-racial couples. And believe it or not, the preponderance I've seen is white guys with black women, but you see both.
Interestingly enough, in this integrated neighborhoods the discriminated ones are the Mexicans and Central Americans. They are the ones seen with suspicion. So many of these groups congregate in their own neighborhoods, to the point that the blacks move out, and the whites move out. Another huge community growing in Atlanta are the Indians, but these are highly educated, well paid engineers working for hi tech companies, so they live in the affluent suburbs instead of the city. Outside of Atlanta, you are in good-ole boy territory, where you will see pick up trucks with confederate flags, and slogans pertaining to the right to wear arms. Interestingly enough, one of the most racist communities in Atlanta, Stone Mountain, where the KKK had a huge stronghold, because of the real estate boom of the nineties it completely switched to become an upper middle class black neighborhood.
Now take for instance my girlfriend, she's a blond, blue-eyed Floridian and her best friend is an African-American lady who happens to be an attorney. Her kids play with our kids, hang out at our house or her house, and around this area of Decatur this is the norm.
 POF_and_Destiny
Joined: 3/13/2015
Msg: 106
Can our hobbies, as much as we enjoy them, limit our dating success?
Posted: 3/31/2015 9:24:54 AM
On the topic of the original topic of this post, which was Can our hobbies, as much as we enjoy them, limit our dating success? - I would say No. As individuals we choose how and on what to spend our time. If one wants to date, then one must make the time and effort commitment on working to achieve success - otherwise, it too is simply a hobby.

A hobby is something that enables us to pass the time, usually thought of being something one finds enjoyment in. My belief has always been that each of us is born with something (sometimes more than one thing) that one is truly interested in or has an ability to do AND that ome finds much enjoyment in. Sometimes one is fortunate in that it turns out to be a way to make a living - and so one gets to do whatever on an ongoing basis; for most of us, this thing turns out to be a hobby. If one does find enjoyment any more, one finds something else.

For some, dating is a hobby. The elusiveness of the chase sort of thing. I think the issue in this question is not what one does to pass the time, but rather, what does dating mean to you?
 rennips1949
Joined: 3/6/2015
Msg: 107
Can our hobbies, as much as we enjoy them, limit our dating success?
Posted: 3/31/2015 12:15:00 PM
don't know/couldn't say about hobbies limiting dating success(whatever that means)-
But I do believe that over-thinking the matter can definitely limit it.
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 108
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Can our hobbies, as much as we enjoy them, limit our dating success?
Posted: 3/31/2015 12:31:12 PM
Good post InnerGorilla. In those situations you can capitalize on 'exotic game'(niche game), that takes the courage to stop worrying about those that aren't interested and look for those that are.
 ThePig0fYourDreams
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 109
Can our hobbies, as much as we enjoy them, limit our dating success?
Posted: 3/31/2015 12:36:25 PM

VK: I honestly believe, where I currently live and all the places I previously lived, race is a bigger hindrance than height. And it’s going to be pretty difficult for you to argue against the South being racist.


In Tampa?? Noooo. I don't buy that. Tampa is really not much different than Orlando (where I've been my entire life) in terms of racial diversity.

Sorry dude, I think it's all in your head.
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 110
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Can our hobbies, as much as we enjoy them, limit our dating success?
Posted: 3/31/2015 1:05:23 PM
^^^Seeing the demographics it seems half are Black or Hispanic. I think he mentioned he was black before? But he also looks like he can be Hispanic. That means half the population is well suited for him. In my experience majority of people will date in their race...it is psych of attraction 101. Perhaps he focuses on mainly whites?

Also the Latino community isn't that tall on average. The Mexican guys who I see in my area seem to be mostly 5'3" and have cute gals with them who are. Inner Gorilla is tall coming from a country with an average height for men of 5'6". Start looking for Peruvians who average 5'4".
 VolkanoKing
Joined: 8/1/2014
Msg: 111
Can our hobbies, as much as we enjoy them, limit our dating success?
Posted: 3/31/2015 1:29:27 PM
I "dragged" the height thing in?

I thought this was a general, overall discussion about your trouble finding dates, and anything you've discussed at length would be relevant. You've gone on in heavy detail about the height thing.


Regarding race: I am a 5' 7" blonde. My ex husband was a 5' 5" Mexican. My last bf after that of 9 years was also shorter than me.


Funny thing too, here in LA, I am ignored by white guys. It's the blacks and hispanics that are the friendliest and make the most eye contact. In fact in the last few years I can say it's almost blacks exclusively that have shown any interest. It's like I am invisible to white men, either that or they feel beaten into submission as per our current culture that tells men that any sign of interest is sexual harassment. Another possibility is I am simply too old.

Consider moving to LA. Sometimes, its all about timing and balance and who you are when you are. For middle age white women, LA sucks. For beta white dudes and Asian ladies hooking up, total score.

With all the whiteys chasing recently migrated Chinese and Korean girls, there are gaps you can fill...in more ways than one. No pun intended.

However, I dont see you making any real change in your life..... *just a hunch*
 ThePig0fYourDreams
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 112
Can our hobbies, as much as we enjoy them, limit our dating success?
Posted: 3/31/2015 1:38:39 PM

Consider moving to LA. Sometimes, its all about timing and balance and who you are when you are. For middle age white women, LA sucks. For beta white dudes and Asian ladies hooking up, total score.


Yes! Do it, Hawker dude!

See? I knew this fairy tale could be a reality.

Make it happen, you two. I've got my hanky ready.
 Blackwood85
Joined: 5/20/2013
Msg: 113
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Can our hobbies, as much as we enjoy them, limit our dating success?
Posted: 3/31/2015 4:41:27 PM
On the height thing, there's a girl on Tinder who states in her profile states that she's 5'8" without heels so she wants guys who are 6'0"-6'2" minimum. Well I swiped right anyway because well she was hot and I wasn't expecting her to do the same but to my surprise she did. I figured that since I'm only 5'9" that I shouldn't bother messaging her it would be a waste of time.

On Tinder they have this feature called moments, think of them as snapchats, just pictures people can post that stays up for 24 hours then disappears into photo heaven. She posted a moment and I liked it, so to my surprise she sends me a message telling me that I like her pics but never messaged her like we're on instagram. I jokingly told her I was intimidated by her beauty which she laughed about but I mentioned her profile, explaining how I was too short for her being only 5'9" she ignored that fact and asked how I was doing like straight up ignored it didn't even attempt to deflect or explain herself. Since then we've been exchanging messages. If I can pull this off I'll be proud of myself. My point is that really all they can say is "no" and give them a chance to say no.

I know that sounds hypocritical considering I freaked out over a meet and greet that went well.
 HawkingJr
Joined: 4/16/2007
Msg: 114
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Can our hobbies, as much as we enjoy them, limit our dating success?
Posted: 4/1/2015 10:58:10 AM
The greater Tampa Bay area is 11% Hispanic and 9% black. Greater Orlando is 25% Hispanic and 16% black. Tampa by itself is indeed about 25% black and 25% Hispanic, but the vast majority of the black and Hispanic population of the entire Tampa Bay area resides within that city whereas Greater Orlando’s ethnic population is spread pretty evenly throughout the area. Aside from the city of Tampa (and to a lesser extent St. Pete), there is almost no racial diversity in this area, and rednecks rule in non-incorporated areas of Hillsborough County as well as most of Pasco, Hernando and Polk.

Tampa also happens to be by far the oldest skewing major metro in the United States, while Orlando is one of the youngest (thanks undoubtedly to the theme parks). A mere 22% of Orlando’s population is 55+ while in Tampa it is 40%. Because Tampa is nearly twice as large, that means this metro has about 4 times as many senior citizens as Orlando, while Orlando actually has more people my own age (don't even get me started about the Holy Grail of Miami).1

Point is, although they are next to each other and are similar in some ways, Tampa and Orlando aren’t the same.

I actually don’t live in Tampa proper – I live in a nearly lily white suburban area (borderline rural) that is the richest zip code in the entire Bay area and one of the richest in the country. I have almost always lived, worked and gone to school in nearly all-white areas: my home “town”/school was 99% white, my college was basically the whitest skewing public university in the state, my major was also overwhelmingly white and I worked for years in a 99.9% white city in Pinellas. I am mixed, though sort of second generation, as my father is black and my mother is mostly white and native American with some African ancestry, but she grew up in a black area and identifies as such, though she looks 100% white and Native American. I identify more as white than she does because I grew up in a white area and my interests greatly reflect that.

So note that the problem, in my case, is not that the market is overwhelmingly white. Most of my relatives live in the blackest areas of Atlanta and New York and I would obviously not fit in those places at all. The problem is that I do not have white skin but do have a “white personality” and live in an area skews heavily redneck. Certainly not anywhere near as heavily redneck as rural Alabama, where I spent my first 18 years, but redneck enough such that a very high percentage of women in this area list hunting and “muddin’” and line dancing as interests, a pretty good sign they want nothing to do with me. If I lived in Manhattan or Silicon Valley instead, I may be surrounded by a similar number of women overall, but a much higher percentage of them would be serious options, due to the more progressive, better educated personality types.

For “normal” guys, it’s probably not such a big deal to have a smaller number of serious options. If you’re not into the redneck or ghetto lifestyle, maybe you go from having 20,000 prospects on this site to having 5000 prospects – still far more prospects than you can deal with. But if you’re a height that 90% of women won’t date, an ethnicity that 70% of women won’t date and have a personality that doesn’t match your appearance, your prospects can go from 20,000 to hundreds or even dozens, and that’s not even taking into consideration age, personality, education, careers, children philosophies, body types, religion, lifestyles and most importantly, good-old-fashioned mutual physical attraction. The fact that most “normal” guys my age and my personality-type get dates in this area is almost a feat of ingenuity; the fact that I’ve had any dates at all is miraculous.

And of course, “age creep” makes it all even worse. When I was in my 20s, there were many single women close to my age, quite a few of them still in an “experimental” stage of their lives. Now, the majority of women close to my age are married, none of the single ones are “experimental” because, as their profiles frequently so emphatically point out, “I know what I want!”, and often there is something wrong with the ones of us that are left. It’s pretty obvious what all is wrong with me, but no matter who you are, if you’re in your late 30s or 40s and you are never-married single, you probably need to reassess yourself and how you got there. I was on eH just yesterday and there was an intelligent, attractive, successful 30-year-old woman who stated plainly in her profile, “I recently started to realize that I spent all my teens and 20s making sure I had a great career to the neglect of my romantic life. That ends today.” Too late? Probably not for her – she’s adorably cute; at her age, she’s the hottest commodity on the site (despite the heavy competition, I emailed her anyway because what have I got to lose? Got nothing so far). But it is almost certainly too late for me. There were very few women willing to date someone like me, and because women like that are among the best women on earth (due to their dating attitudes), they probably all got scooped up, by men who are undoubtedly smart enough to never let them go. Now I’m left with a bunch of single mothers, bitter divorcees, the “undesirables” and a few attractive single childless women with bad dating attitudes. And, the woman I just emailed on eH who probably has 500 taller, whiter, more handsome and successful prospects.

Admittedly, if I didn't have a "white personality," I'd probably be a much hotter commodity, because there is a substantial education gap between black women and black men -- there are 2 black women with college degrees for every 1 black man. Black female college graduates who want to date/marry other college graduates do not have a lot of options, so they undoubtedly would be more willing to compromise on the height issue. But my personality is a complete turn-off to most of them. As I said in some other thread yesterday, I'm usually the only non-white in a crowd of 10,000 people at the concerts I attend. I understand the African-American experience so little that nearly all of my protagonists are white (and usually female, thanks to all those white female best friends). Heck, my one historic epic is about the whitest of white people: Scandinavians. But it's not like I chose to like the music I listen to or the movies I watch. I grew up in a 99% white place -- I really don't know any other way (ironically, I was hated by about 95% of those 99% whites, but I was also hated by all 100% of the 1% of blacks, so, you choose your poison, I guess).

“I thought this was a general, overall discussion about your trouble finding dates, and anything you've discussed at length would be relevant. You've gone on in heavy detail about the height thing.”

I thought this was a discussion about how “hobbies... can limit our dating success,” so that was the only thing I originally addressed. Understand, I’m not a thread tangent hawk. I could care less how far off topic a thread gets. But my point is, I’m often accused of being the person who causes a thread to go off tangent, but usually it is someone else reading something in my thread OP that’s not there (based on things I’ve said in the past), and this is definitely one of those cases. It’s very likely I would have not made another post in this thread and nobody would have even addressed my OP if you hadn’t said what you said, because my OP was so on topic and non-controversial that there was really nothing to say directly about it. Or should have been.

You’re obviously a very progressive woman when it comes to dating. I get it, there are some of you out there. Probably a lot more in LA and NYC than here. But regardless of where I go, women of your dating attitude are still going to be rare, and it will be a needle in a haystack search. Which is to take nothing away from your own needle in the haystack search. I know that it is equally frustrating, because, quite frankly, most men have bad dating attitudes, too.

“On the height thing, there's a girl on Tinder who states in her profile states that she's 5'8" without heels so she wants guys who are 6'0"-6'2" minimum.”

I’ve actually never seen any woman address her height, much less her potential dates’ height, on Tinder. In fact, 90% of those I come across don’t even fill out the text area at all. To bother with that on Tinder, it must have been an overwhelmingly important thing to her. I haven’t been able to get Tinder to work out for me yet, but that “bare bones aspect” was what helped make the original Hot Or Not be my #1 dating tool of all time: no height listings, no height searches, rarely ever any height listings. I met at least a couple dozen women from that thing, only a couple of them shorter than me. Those taller women (actually, borderline “girls”) said they didn’t care about height, but it seems pretty likely based on my massive failures on nearly all other dating websites that have height listings and searches (including at that time) that if they knew how tall I was BEFORE we had extensive communication, I wouldn’t have gotten initial responses back from most of them. That’s how women shoot themselves in the foot.

“Yes! Do it, Hawker dude! See? I knew this fairy tale could be a reality.”

Where were you when NDTFan and I were dragging each other by the hair across the POF forums floor? Now THAT was a true love affair, by your standards. I actually miss that girl. She was SO OBNOXIOUSLY FRUSTRATING it became endearing.
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 115
Can our hobbies, as much as we enjoy them, limit our dating success?
Posted: 4/1/2015 12:25:48 PM

The problem is that I do not have white skin but do have a “white personality” and live in an area skews heavily redneck.


Really, you should move to Atlanta. I have a couple of friends with your problem. One is an African dude that speaks 5 languages and is from Senegal. He simply does not understand African-American behavior at all, so he hangs out at bike shops and has a white girlfriend. Another friend, was born in Germany. He is an Army brad and is completely clueless about the brothers. You talk to him for about 3 seconds and you realize you're talking to a computer geek.

What you will find in Atlanta is a very mixed culture where a lot of African Americans, because they have degrees, college educations do not identify with the inner city people, but with other people with an Education, regardless of color. So in Decatur you would fit quite well, particularly since Atlanta is attracting a lot of people in the Film industry and we have a ton of writers and producers because of Turner Broadcasting, CNN, Cartoon Network, The Weather Channel. And a lot of the Marvel stuff in filmed here.
 ThePig0fYourDreams
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 116
Can our hobbies, as much as we enjoy them, limit our dating success?
Posted: 4/1/2015 2:34:12 PM

Point is, although they are next to each other and are similar in some ways, Tampa and Orlando aren’t the same.


My point was, Tampa overall is far from being a redneck and Klan member riddled town, much like Orlando. As far as nightlife goes, I actually prefer Tampa. As you might imagine, I am sick of our tourist shit here.



Where were you when NDTFan and I were dragging each other by the hair across the POF forums floor? Now THAT was a true love affair, by your standards. I actually miss that girl. She was SO OBNOXIOUSLY FRUSTRATING it became endearing.


I was gone for two years, but that name does seem familiar. Was it a younger chick?

Now, as for you and Volkano. I still say the two of you are something steamy just waiting to happen. I don't believe the two of you continuously go at it merely out of a penchant for "debating".

No way.
 VolkanoKing
Joined: 8/1/2014
Msg: 117
Can our hobbies, as much as we enjoy them, limit our dating success?
Posted: 4/1/2015 3:10:10 PM
He gave the knockout punch with that last entry. The Burj Khalifa of posts! The Spruce Goose! The Titanic!

I must admit, I didn't read it.

I know. I know. I should have taken 5 hours out of my day to read it all. Guess the bloom is off the rose...
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 118
Can our hobbies, as much as we enjoy them, limit our dating success?
Posted: 4/1/2015 5:00:57 PM
Hawkings
Come here. Promise not to go on and on - just come, chill out. Relax and enjoy Life and my puppy :) Hon - you make my head hurt so I imagine yours does as well
So, you too short/smart/black/white/erudite/talented/skinny/blah blah. To date.
Got it
By chance did you ever see the comedy " Bubbleboy"
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 119
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History
Can our hobbies, as much as we enjoy them, limit our dating success?
Posted: 4/1/2015 5:10:48 PM
Hmm...so your a 'white guy' in Black skin?
Your a creative educated artist type?
You are single and want educated women?
You are a bit awkward?

Move to NYC, actually to the borough of Brooklyn. Northern Brooklyn(Williamsburg,Park Slope etc) is the worlds hipster capital! And it is also home to NYC's non celebrity artist community.

They aren't my type(Can't stand them actually) but from what I see they reject much of societies conformity, they are liberals and do NOT often discriminate based on race, male beta ness seems to even be a plus with them!

And there are many film types around(actually my best college buddy runs a film company that makes documentaries). Just get roommates and a crappy 100 yr old apt and you will fit right in!

If Taylor Swift can make it here so can you!

 ozsealady1
Joined: 6/13/2013
Msg: 120
Can our hobbies, as much as we enjoy them, limit our dating success?
Posted: 4/1/2015 8:16:15 PM
Just noticed this thread.

I do not think it is our hobbies.
Sadly I think it is that we are our own women.

Could say it is age, body size (with me) looks etc etc etc
But I know ladies who are in their 20's and 30's who have the same problem.
All of these ladies are fit, beautiful, intelligent, university educated, have a career, own property, are child free and all are single with the occasional dalliance.

Men regularly say they are intimidated.
Occasionally these ladies hide their accomplishments from potential boyfriends.
 ozsealady1
Joined: 6/13/2013
Msg: 121
Can our hobbies, as much as we enjoy them, limit our dating success?
Posted: 4/1/2015 8:33:52 PM
Oh... I will say that with one female yachting friend who races her boat .. she finds the racing boat is a bloke magnet.
Mainly sails with male crew. Often after a while they try to take control of her boat and her life.... which does not go down well.
She has been married 5 times (I think.. keep loosing count) with one adult child.

No trouble attracting quantity.


p.s. More people eat sharks than sharks eat people.
 clooneystutor
Joined: 3/8/2015
Msg: 122
Can our hobbies, as much as we enjoy them, limit our dating success?
Posted: 4/1/2015 8:46:01 PM
Lmao Oz...

I often think the many married folk, such as myself, trust easily.
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 123
Can our hobbies, as much as we enjoy them, limit our dating success?
Posted: 4/1/2015 9:43:46 PM
BlondJAngel- It depends on the type of activity's and also if each person is ok with their partner having interests that they don't share.
My hobbies are music, reading, movies, swimming, sec football, grilling, billiards and fishing.
Some of those are physical hobbies, some aren't, so I know I'm not a match who has ALL physical activities.
UNless they are ok with running and hiking without me, they might not share my love of reading or music, but maybe would could find common ground with swimming and fishing.
In other words-A willingness to enjoy your own activities and still enjoy some you do together.
(pm me-I lost all of our messages in my inbox)
 HawkingJr
Joined: 4/16/2007
Msg: 124
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Can our hobbies, as much as we enjoy them, limit our dating success?
Posted: 4/2/2015 10:15:10 AM
“Really, you should move to Atlanta.”

Remember, technically I grew up in the Atlanta market – my home county in Alabama is part of the Atlanta media market, anyway. I visited my parents just last week – it was a little less than 1 hour from their house to Six Flags. All “big city” stuff we did in my childhood was in Atlanta. My best friend from college (a white woman, of course) moved to the Atlanta suburbs (Decatur, Stone Mountain, Buckhead, etc.) after graduating so I visited her frequently there for about a decade until she got divorced and moved to North Carolina. Your description is pretty accurate, but the outskirts of Atlanta are worse than the outskirts of Tampa (Forsyth County, anyone?) and a little too reminiscent of that “outskirt” I grew up in. Regardless, there is the weather issue. Which leads me to...

“Move to NYC, actually to the borough of Brooklyn. Northern Brooklyn(Williamsburg,Park Slope etc) is the worlds hipster capital! And it is also home to NYC's non celebrity artist community.”

I agree, 100%. In addition to being the wrong race, I also felt like I was the wrong native resident growing up – that is, a native of NYC that somehow ended up in rural Alabama. I fit in much better in the Big Apple and have always felt like that’s where I belong. I love visiting NYC. Between May and September, that is. I’m pretty much allergic to cold weather. I suffered greatly throughout my childhood in central Alabama winters (same thing as Atlanta winters), was sick all the time, sometimes continuously from October to March. Ever since I moved to Florida, I have never been sick like that (unless I caught a real illness, like the flu). Maybe for a couple weeks each “winter.” I went to NYC last March for a film festival my movie was in and it never got about 32 degrees that whole time I was there (just 4 days) and I thought I was going to die. So, nope, no permanent residency in NYC for me – maybe when I get older I can be a snowbird. L.A. is definitely the better option of the two entirely because of climate, but I’ve not been able to make a move to L.A. work out.

“So, you too short/smart/black/white/erudite/talented/skinny/blah blah. To date.”

I usually refer to this as a “perfect storm of negative dating characteristics.”

“By chance did you ever see the comedy ‘Bubbleboy’”

I reviewed “Bubbleboy” as a professional critic when it first came out (unless you are talking about the 1970s John Travolta film “The Boy in the Plastic Bubble” that inspired it). Apparently I gave it a pretty bad rating. (Certainly not Jake’s fault – same year he also had “Donnie Darko,” which ended up in my top 10 of the entire decade. Last year he gave us “Nightcrawler.” That was a hell of a thing.) Nevertheless, I completely understand why you mentioned it. Goofiness of “Bubbleboy” aside, I am indeed generally drawn to films of that nature – my all-time favorite movie is the eerily thematically similar “Edward Scissorhands,” and I’m also big on “Elephant Man,” "Freak the Mighty," “Mask,” etc. They all make me tear up a little.

“The Burj Khalifa of posts! The Spruce Goose! The Titanic!”

Okay, from now on, I will make a separate post when I am addressing you. Starting next time. I just hate making multiple consecutive posts. There are rules against it.

“My point was, Tampa overall is far from being a redneck and Klan member riddled town, much like Orlando.”

Certainly I wouldn’t describe it as a bastion of intolerance. I’m not afraid to walk down a street in Tampa for fear of lynching. (Pinellas Park, maybe. Just kidding – I love all my Pinellas Park white trash friends!) Just saying, even the most progressive areas of the Deep South are still less progressive than the least progressive areas of the coasts, and racism has largely gone “underground.” You never know who you can fully trust around these places and individual progressiveness and open-mindedness is difficult to judge. For example: my ex-girlfriend, who is from a family so racist they disowned her aunt for having a biracial baby, dated me for 2 years and has a gay best friend, yet in the years since she’s dated me, her ideology has slowly evolved more toward that of her parents. It was probably always deep inside her even while she was dating me, since that was what she was indoctrinated with.

“I was gone for two years, but that name does seem familiar. Was it a younger chick?”

Younger than who? You? VK? Me? She and I are the same age. However, she's almost six feet tall...
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 125
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Can our hobbies, as much as we enjoy them, limit our dating success?
Posted: 6/22/2015 10:03:11 AM
My current hobby of collecting memorabilia of The 5th Dimension is where my interest is at.

I'm collecting vinyl, posters, pictures, and souvenir tour programs. I've got 10 items coming in from EBay in the next 2 weeks and I'm watching more than 80 other items.

I'm spending money on my hobby...not on dating.

Who cares about 21st century women being intimidating? I couldn't care less.

I prefer these two ladies (Marilyn McCoo and Florence LaRue of The 5th Dimension) from the 1960s/1970s.
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