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 CharminC
Joined: 2/19/2011
Msg: 251
Independence VS InterdependancePage 11 of 20    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20)

That is not a personal attack on anyone that is my opinion. If you all want to feel shamed by that that is your choice and your own doing.


THAT is not a personal attack?
..... too funny *giggles




Yes, you women do make it hard for us guys


Sorry Purplerider *blushes* lol
I get that you want to hit the road at the first red flag but... at the very first one? We all have red flags. Even you... no?
That said, naturally wouldn't you want to forgive a little and give a chance before hitting the road?
You never know, underneath that imperfection could be someone perfect. You might even teach her a thing or two :P



you are dating someone and you have sex because you like each other that much but then the relationship doesn't work out for whatever reason and it's like "But we had sex!!!" like the relationship was bought and paid for with it.


Sex as a commodity, the dangling carrot whether they realize it or not, that leaves them feeling cheap when they don't get what they wanted in return. Happens to the best and the worst of us.
And then we grew up ;)



a young woman maybe even an older one depending on the circumstances, who regularly engaged in ONS, FB and FWB I would class as a damaging behavior. I believe it will impact on her self esteem and I believe its an indication that she has a low sense of worth. The thing is, I would also think the same for a man


No one is judging you for how you have sex because it is your decision, your business. right?
Yet you judge others if it is different from your way.
Because you don't live it, you don't understand it you ASSUME and JUDGE the person has having damaging low self esteem and self worth.
I would be concerned for the young woman who is still learning about herself (if I knew her) but the older ones? It's none of our business
What he or she does in their bedroom, if it doesn't directly affect us , is none of our business.


Not quite sure how what I, or anyone else does sexually has any 'influence' to anyone else...?


In other words, it's none of our business

*cue Salt and Pepa's None of your business*





Casual sex for me, is something that I do because I am NOT willing to pretend to feelings I don't have, or to wanting a relationship that I am not in a position to have at that moment, but still want to get my sexual/physical needs met....nothing more, nothing less...


Ditto.. it's all about knowing what you want. Nothing unhealthy about that imo.
Adults are perfectly capable of making healthy decisions about their bodies and who they want to be with and why.

What I love about being an adult it that I am in full control of my own decision making and my body. I've dated guys for months before I decided to kiss. Just kiss! For years before I decided to go forth with intimacy. Years! I've made spontaneous decisions as well that I was in full control of. I have also been a faithful wife for years... twice.
If didn't want a relationship it was my decision not to have one. When I wanted one, it was my decision to have one. It is also my decision who I am with which is a big one because I am VERY picky about the who. (Which is probably why my sex life isn't rife with mental or physical unhealthiness. I don't just go with every Tom,****and Harry I come across.)
It's all my decision because its' my body, my mind, my heart. My decisions are none of anyone's business but me and my man.
I should not be judged for being an adult making my own decisions nor should I be told I should feel shame.
I am a grown woman.




I was referring to just the ones here - about 6 - but I suspect multiple accounts - maybe just 2 or 3. Don't know! Only suspect!


If you don't know, don't suspect. tsk tsk


There might have been some civilized posting by women members from Canada. Sorry, I never noticed any. Mostly bitter mindless attacks. As if you all hate men.


Painting all Canadian women with one brush meant for the very few that you aren't even sure of?



spending time with my fictitious gf.


She is fictitiously beautiful ;) ..................................does she have a brother? ;P


It is funny that you have 'writer' as your profession. Is that deliberate to get laughs?


Oh isn't that just 'slap the knee' funny?! Isn't it IG?! Oh hardy har har
*grabs a handful of popcorn*



I don't verbally abuse others


She doesn't , does she?! I'm impressed!
*munches on popcorn*


or maybe Canadian? :


Oh no!! Oh no you did not GTO *wags a finger* You naughty naughty boy!


George Carlin and Dane cook


LOVE George............hate Dane...............and not a fan of potato chips either. I know. I'm weird.
I even have a t-shirt that says I'm weird. :)


People can disagree, ya know!
Huh uh *munches on more popcorn*

And the person she was disagreeing with isn't exactly innocent and defenseless anyway.
True!


I thought you said you valued good manners. Calling someone stupid is not very polite :(


Anddddddd.............................she's gotcha.
 clooneystutor
Joined: 3/8/2015
Msg: 252
Independence VS Interdependance
Posted: 5/15/2015 11:12:05 AM


If a mutual understanding can be reached that it's a one-time quickie, that's all well and good, but I don't think I'm the only man on here who has been glad to be "dumped" or told "no mas" after a casual sex encounter because of wariness over the consequences of "dumping" first


Interestingly, there's only been one gal that stated she didn't want a relationship before the quickie. I suspect the other gals were ashamed to admit it?

I wouldn't say I was glad to be dumped per se, but I was glad for the effortless courtship :)
 newoldgirl
Joined: 4/16/2015
Msg: 253
Independence VS Interdependance
Posted: 5/15/2015 11:14:25 AM

HOWEVER, I think part of the issue is that people on here feel you are (unintentionally in my view) contributing to to the cultural slut-shaming that still persists


Although I gave up trying to explain this a while back, I agree with you one hundred percent.


but sometimes, sex is just sex and a woman who can't think that way is really limited.


Yep. Limited to the same old game, terrified to play her "Trump" card in case she doesn't come out ahead.
 GattoMonstrosis
Joined: 4/4/2013
Msg: 254
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Independence VS Interdependance
Posted: 5/15/2015 11:22:13 AM

First thing I do when leaving a relationship, is to look at MY side of it....


I spend too much time tying my head in knots trying to see it from the other side, not to excuse it so much as to try and empathize with it and see what it was that i wasn't doing that i thought i was or was doing that i thought i wasn't. I have to try not to do that too much though or i end up overanalysing myself to death.


well, I DO usually allow myself to write out a loooooonnnng and really MEAN diatribe whenever I need to, that I DON'T send to them, but that, also, is part of grieving....


I do that, then burn it, easier to let it go if you watch it go up in the smoke. :)
 benartflick
Joined: 3/8/2012
Msg: 255
Independence VS Interdependance
Posted: 5/15/2015 11:33:28 AM
"Calling someone stupid is not very polite"

I didn't CALL anybody stupid. I wasn't trying to be polite.

Last year I considered getting back with an old love of mine. She went out of her way (1100 miles) to bump into me on the beach in front of my house. I took her out both times and had a great time. I seriously regret NOT getting back with her now that she died.

There was a reason I didn't take her back. Mistakenly, I thought some here might enlighten me or persuade me to do the right thing. Instead I was a complete jackass for even considering such a foolish thing. Both of us were viciously and mindlessly attacked. Don't have a clue why.

The entire thread was deleted shortly after I responded to Dee and several others.
 CharminC
Joined: 2/19/2011
Msg: 256
Independence VS Interdependance
Posted: 5/15/2015 11:36:56 AM

Young people engaging regularly in under age sex,


That has been going on since caveman days. Teens have ALWAYS had underaged sex.


teens openly entering fwb situations,


Maybe they are trying to figure these things out. Talk to them.


married couples having affairs,


None of our business


people choosing FB/FWB/ONS


None of our business

whereas in the past they were not so readily acceptable.

It's been going on the past, we just never heard about it openly...................til now.



Is this the direction we should be going in?


We??
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 257
Independence VS Interdependance
Posted: 5/15/2015 11:46:10 AM

It's all my decision because its' my body, my mind, my heart. My decisions are none of anyone's business but me and my man.
I should not be judged for being an adult making my own decisions nor should I be told I should feel shame.
I am a grown woman.


Charmin, I love your whole approach. It also says that you decide to have sex, not because it's the tool by which you hook the guy, but simply because YOU desire it. Period. Why can't a woman objectify sex just as a man does? And it doesn't mean that you do it with everybody. Or that it should feed into that idea we all have of the slut factor. So I agree with you and with Dee here.


Beautiful young lady IG, I didnt realise how handsome you were either, your other pics dont do you justice. I hope you are both very happy.


Okay, now you destroyed my argument that even an ugly as sh i t guy can get the girl. I guess I owe Obulen an apology as well. But hey, Heidy Klum was married to a super ugly guy, but with great charisma and character.

So let's pass the popcorn or like others have called it pop porn.

Hehehe
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 258
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Independence VS Interdependance
Posted: 5/15/2015 11:57:46 AM

That has been going on since caveman days.


Hey now.....our days aren't as bygone as you think! My new club even has a built in stop watch!


HOWEVER, I think part of the issue is that people on here feel you are (unintentionally in my view) contributing to to the cultural slut-shaming that still persists. I know you are advocating gender-neutral responsibility with casual sex but lets be honest, men aren't going to put it back in our pants now.


Well women can be just, and often more, promiscuous as guys. You live in London, which I suspect is similar to NYC. Two VERY sin-ish cities. Women (and men) come from all over the world to live in these 2 cities to explore their sensual and sexual life that they weren't able to express fully back in their home towns where BIG Brother is watching. So your experiences might be an extreme version than others.

As for the pope, well I wouldn't be surprised since he is in Italy(Vatican technically). The Italian women don't "put out" since they have mastered a technique of getting the guys to propose to them and entice them to move away from their mothers!

But perhaps he should extend the courtesy to his follower's? They often in the news for child abuse.
 benartflick
Joined: 3/8/2012
Msg: 259
Independence VS Interdependance
Posted: 5/15/2015 12:06:33 PM
Vicki

Well, Vicki, from what I noticed in my limited viewing, you're civilized, but you're no kj.

I made NO reference to kj's outer beauty. Only her charm, wit, intelligents, and how she communicates. And we agree on that.

Yes, I hold a grudge, but not as bad as I used to.

I can take it on the chin, but I fight back. Dee started with some mindless insults. Okay! No problem! After I responded the entire thread disappeared. My guess she and her cohorts had the thread deleted. They could dish it out but couldn't take it. Just a guess.

I do feel guilty about some of my shots at others. I should turn the other cheek. They might 'know not what they do'.
 CharminC
Joined: 2/19/2011
Msg: 260
Independence VS Interdependance
Posted: 5/15/2015 1:05:31 PM

.......I think the ideal of sex without emotional consequence is often just that - an ideal. How could we really expect it to be anything else? It's the most intimate, feel-good, act two people can share and usually ends with one of the two wanting to do it again. Especially if it's done right. Didn't someone once say the problem with relationships is "they all start with sex and end with ex"?
If a mutual understanding can be reached that it's a one-time quickie, that's all well and good, but I don't think I'm the only man on here who has been glad to be "dumped" or told "no mas" after a casual sex encounter because of wariness over the consequences of "dumping" first. Possibly it's the same for many women on here as well?

HOWEVER, I think part of the issue is that people on here feel you are (unintentionally in my view) contributing to to the cultural slut-shaming that still persists. I know you are advocating gender-neutral responsibility with casual sex but lets be honest, men aren't going to put it back in our pants now. Not after thousands of years largely guilt-free humping. Even Popes used to hire prostitutes back in the day..... And women resent being told to stop enjoying what men have for years. And the pressure still works. I have met grown-ass women who had never masterbated due to societal pressure (much less other activities that most in the sex and sexuality thread would take for granted) and others who have been genitally cut. If I can talk about your boys for a second I just think that as a mother you are worried about the world they are growing up into and the how teens and young adults seem to be taught everything about sex except responsibility. I don't know what to say to reassure you or anyone else about this. The casual sex genie is well and truly out of the bottle. (OT- the genie in Aladdin - wasn't he shaped suspiciously like a penis anyway?)

But the women on this thread are not wrong to enjoy sex the way they do, they are just different from you.



Bravo Oluben Bravo
There's so much more to this but ... bravo :)
*APPLAUSES*
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 261
Independence VS Interdependance
Posted: 5/15/2015 1:14:50 PM

Why can't a woman objectify sex just as a man does? And it doesn't mean that you do it with everybody. Or that it should feed into that idea we all have of the slut factor. So I agree with you and with Dee here.


Well yes being a man I guess you would ;) I assume you gf is like minded?


Now Vicky, you ever wonder why in the past people get pissed off at you for what you say. You have to then jab at the person in a more personal way, and end up offending.

But I digress, my gf emotions are similar to Charmin. We had sex after our second date, so technically speaking that would be our third date. We did it because we found ATTRACTION, not because she was in love with me or even wanted this thing to last forever. And again like others have said, that doesn't mean that she slept or sleeps with everybody. In fact she had been rather recluse for a while.

Just because your libido, or your approach to sex and intimacy is different does not render Charmin, or Dee or Hearton or others bad or slutty.
 clemtuckerofcourse
Joined: 5/7/2015
Msg: 262
Independence VS Interdependance
Posted: 5/15/2015 1:25:26 PM
^^^ Let me get this straight. You are in love with a woman and you are going to marry her, you publish her photo to the world, which means she can be reverse Googled and identified, and you are proclaiming you had sex on the second date and why? Have you ever heard the expression discretion is the better part of valor. I don't know who this woman is, but if she finds out you are discussing personal details about her on this board, don't be surprised if she drops you. It is the rare women who would or should put up with such indignities. You have the right to discuss your own sexual exploits in detail in public if you choose, but not another person's sexual exploits. That is disgusting.
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 263
Independence VS Interdependance
Posted: 5/15/2015 1:28:15 PM

So, by all means, have a different view, put forward an argument, but quit making it personal cos I can get just as personal ok.


Holy c ra p. You make it personal and then accuse others of doing so. I am out of this conversation.
 newoldgirl
Joined: 4/16/2015
Msg: 264
Independence VS Interdependance
Posted: 5/15/2015 2:14:28 PM

So, by all means, have a different view, put forward an argument, but quit making it personal cos I can get just as personal ok.


We know! Good lord, woman, that's what people have been trying to tell you. You are judgmental as ****.


Holy c ra p. You make it personal and then accuse others of doing so. I am out of this conversation.


Agreed. Complete waste of space.
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 265
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Independence VS Interdependance
Posted: 5/15/2015 2:52:21 PM

et me get this straight. You are in love with a woman and you are going to marry her, you publish her photo to the world, which means she can be reverse Googled and identified, and you are proclaiming you had sex on the second date and why? Have you ever heard the expression discretion is the better part of valor. I don't know who this woman is, but if she finds out you are discussing personal details about her on this board, don't be surprised if she drops you. It is the rare women who would or should put up with such indignities. You have the right to discuss your own sexual exploits in detail in public if you choose, but not another person's sexual exploits. That is disgusting.



If that photo isn't online anyplace it can't be reverse googled. Google isn't face recognition software, yet anyhow!

How do you know his GF doesn't read( and tell him what to write) everything before he posts it? Maybe she is a Voyeur of sorts?

Every girl is different , and this thread has posters trying to install that fact to others. The way you make it sound, there is indignation in having sex on a 3rd date and it is something to keep secret. I know gals who proclaim and express their sexual factor to the world before the 1st date, and then go to Church on Sunday to boot! Not everyone believes Jesus is going to proclaim them a sinner and that they are going to hell in a shopping cart. Sometimes sex is just sex (like a kiss is just a kiss)

INSTANT REPLAY:...IG loves to express his LOVE, he is a writer after all, and I can only assume his fiance loves that about him.

@IG calm down Gorilla, here's a banana! Although, I can see why you might read between the lines of what Vicki said if you take it in its written vernacular.....I think all she was saying is that she is a match to you! Not anything general.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 266
Independence VS Interdependance
Posted: 5/15/2015 2:54:41 PM
Well Ben - As a Canadian woman on a Canadian ( free btw) dating site I must invite you to join The Polite Club. Only a few rules, you'll enjoy it.
And you must stop flirting so hard with our Dee - she is sticking to Canadian Men.
Thanks muchly
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 267
Independence VS Interdependance
Posted: 5/15/2015 2:57:04 PM

@IG calm down Gorilla, here's a banana! Although, I can see why you might read between the lines of what Vicki said if you take it in its written vernacular.....I think all she was saying is that she is a match to you! Not anything general.


Ahhhhh uuhhh andrrrr shhsh ggghhrr.

Okay gorilla, back in the cage, back in the cage. ahhhhh.

Here. Have banana. Banana good.

Hehehehe
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 268
Independence VS Interdependance
Posted: 5/15/2015 3:22:38 PM

I think what Im questioning is the common discussions around it, the acceptance of it, the many different areas Im seeing it and its not a good thing IMO. Young people engaging regularly in under age sex, teens openly entering fwb situations, married couples having affairs, people choosing FB/FWB/ONS whereas in the past they were not so readily acceptable. Is this the direction we should be going in?


I suggest you go back and read some history. Sex, in one shape or the other has been going on since forever. Take notice that many, wayyyyyyyy back used to be married YOUNGER than 16. With that, came sex. And then preggers. And affairs?????? They were everywhere, all the time, ever since "marriage" became a ceremony. Rape, at one time was even "accepted" in some cultures. In fact, some cultures are still in that battle.

I believe what you are having a tough time with, is that people now a days are more willing to communicate and talk about the subject of sex. How it happens. With whom. At what age. (Can you remember "your" sex ed class?????)You are having a tough listening to people talk openly and expressing their willingness to do things that you aren't willing to do, or even "accept". You just can't wrap your head around the fact, people, have been doing all kinds of things behind closed doors, since, well, again, forever.
 Behind-Blue-Eyes_53
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 269
Independence VS Interdependance
Posted: 5/15/2015 3:42:10 PM

And you think that people dont offend and piss me off????? By all means give your views but you do tend to take things to a personal level


These types of discussions are Best left 'In the Abstract', But you devolve them to a Personal Level in Every Thread.......


So, by all means, have a different view, put forward an argument, but quit making it personal cos I can get just as personal ok.


You can't discuss anything in the Forums without Taking/Making it Personal.....
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 270
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Posted: 5/15/2015 7:32:58 PM


Interestingly enough, some women are totally turned off by that sentiment.

Like, you've already objectified her as some sort of thing that fulfills a purpose in your life, without considering her own needs and life.


I can believe that. What she is after has always been my first consideration. But, if I told them something different, then I'd be lying to them.


Sorry Purplerider *blushes* lol
I get that you want to hit the road at the first red flag but... at the very first one? We all have red flags. Even you... no?
That said, naturally wouldn't you want to forgive a little and give a chance before hitting the road?
You never know, underneath that imperfection could be someone perfect. You might even teach her a thing or two.


Since I haven't a clue if women are annoyed by my presents, I just assume that I am, not press an issue, and just be polite and back away. Being rude is someone else's stick, not mine.
 GattoMonstrosis
Joined: 4/4/2013
Msg: 271
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Independence VS Interdependance
Posted: 5/16/2015 12:33:37 AM

IMO, OLD, Porn, Lapdancing and stripping are currenlty being glorified (not to an epidemic scale but definately increasing). These are all areas where I believe women are open to being used and abused.


I don't think any of those things are inherently bad, yes they can be made bad but it depends on the person, where they are in their own head any why they do it, not a societal judgement of the person based on the act being seen as immoral.
I know there is a lot of argument about porn, stripping and so on being seedy, if a woman is forced into the sex trade to feed an addiction or because she has issues that a pimp is using then i would agree with you, but not everyone selling their bodies or at least the fantasy of their bodies is damaged goods being exploited.
The Divine Ms Em is a burlesque artist i almost dated once but we could never work out the timing, true the stripping is only a part of burlesque and burlesque isn't the only thing she does but she knows what her assets are and that people want to pay her good money to make use of them, especially if she can counter rotate the tassels like Elvira, i don't think she's being exploited, it's her business not something she does for anyone else, she enjoys her job and is damn good at it. At one time i was friends with Lindi St Clair, Miss Whiplash herself, and she sure as hell wouldn't have any truck with exploitation unless she was the one doing it, hell she sued the government for living off her 'immoral' earnings!

I think to some extent the scope for using and abusing women in these areas is precisely because the areas are kept demonized and consigned to a shady background, if it's brought out into the open and people take ownership of themselves then i think as unfeminist as it may be it's at least as empowering than pulling double shifts on a checkout in tescos.
 xlr8ingme
Joined: 3/16/2015
Msg: 272
Independence VS Interdependance
Posted: 5/16/2015 3:50:26 AM
Just to add a note that I too had sex on the second date, with both the men I loved in life. Oooohhhh Im such a slut, that I remained in those relationships until they passed on.
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 273
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Posted: 5/16/2015 4:40:28 AM
Sleepless in Nanaimo here...;-)

I'm gonna wade in here again, for the simple reason that I see my name being bandied about and just HAVE to respond....For all of my haters, well, you can just stop reading NOW, as this is gonna be a LONG one ....LOL

Ahem....Here we go....

Firstly...@Vicki.....
Thanks for your kind words, I do appreciate them...But I'm not here to impress anyone, only to share my own ideas and to try and PRY open my own sometimes dogmatic mind and try to learn things....lol
While I'm aware of how strong my opinions may come off, I try to remind myself that it's ok for me to change those ideas at ANY time, with new info, and that what I feel is 'right' , is what's right for me and not necessarily the whole world...for NOW....

You are definitely a challenge for me and I believe that we have 'lessons' to learn in Life, and when someone annoys me or gets under my skin or even just gets a REACTION from me, I try to give some thought as to why that is, as maybe there's something that I need to work on....Sometimes other people can be our 'mirrors' and reflect back how we appear to the world....and what we have to look at or change in ourselves....
You have helped me with that as have many other 'challenging' folks, and I thank you for that....even though it ISN'T always comfortable...lol ;-) You have also helped me to consider other POV's, and I thank you for that as well...

As far as what the topic has become, well, I do consider myself a feminist as you know, and having said that, if a woman wants to be a stay at home Mom, a stripper, a prostitute, a truck driver , an astronaut, etc. for example...It is not about my agreeing with those choices, but I AM going to defend her RIGHT to choose for HERSELF, how she wants to live her Life....

Men like women's bodies...if they're straight that is, and I think we can all agree on that, no? And most women, like men's bodies...
That is NOT new and has been going on since the dawn of humanity. That's just reality and how it is. Not to mention, basic Biology...

Women have been using their bodies in a variety of ways for equally as long, as a type of currency, as a result of that, and if they want to and want to profit from that, I see no reason that they shouldn't. That is how we prevent exploitation, and NOT, by trying to rid the world of what is really just a natural and basic urge/need/desire on the part of men. Or by shaming the women assuaging it.
I think it's the height of hypocrisy for a society to tell women they can sleep with who they want...as long as they don't profit from it....Which is where it seems to stand today, still....in many places.....

That's the main reason that I think that prostitution should be legalized, regulated and the women given health benefits and a safe environment to work in, as well as designated areas for that, or else just have escort services and brothels...
I have worked with both sex workers and strippers, and, while I don't advocate any woman becoming one, I can't honestly say that every single one of those women are 'being exploited' by others....Some are exploiting themselves, some are acting out based on their past history and believe it or not, some really DO enjoy what they do, see it as a means to an end or else believe that their "assets" are best utilized in that way while they are young and make no mistake, they make a WHOLE lot more $$ that way, than they would doing pretty much anything else.

Is it right? Is it wrong?

Well I really don't believe that is something that our society should decide for ANYONE....other than the 'how' to go about it for the safety of the women involved, while considering their input on the matter, as well as the good of the society as a whole...It WILL continue, which I think has been proven time and again, regardless of restrictions or legislation or protest or change of any kind...and I, for one, am grateful that there are women who are willing to perform that 'service' if you will, as I consider it a necessary evil...

We are NOT talking about pedophilia here, or snuff films or any other deviant behaviour, these are adult women who should be free to make their own decisions about what to do with their OWN bodies, despite what you or I, or anyone else for that matter, thinks. And certainly over and above what ANY government dictates....

I really don't think that even if we lived in an ideal world where women were 100% equal to men in all ways, that there would NOT be sex workers, because funnily enough, that is the ONE area, where, although the Feminist movement has managed to make some changes, and provide better safety, protection and options for women who ARE being exploited....We have still not managed to even make a DENT in that particular area, as far as eliminating it....and I don't happen to think that we should even be trying, personally....

I believe that is proof positive that this is something that our society needs to stop judging and just learn to accept and continue reforming, enabling women to have a support system where they can get help to not continue if they choose not to, or are doing it for fvcked up reasons...or otherwise need to determine whether or not it is damaging them, personally...
Gatto...explained it quite well in his post....

All of that to say....Things like prostitution and stripping are NOT the same as having a ONS or casual sex, as an individual.
One is done as a business transaction and the other is a personal matter between two (or more) people...
Apples and oranges comes to mind....

Also, not sure if you were addressing me, but the phrase 'slut shaming' never came from me, as I have no liking for the term...Seems like an oxymoron....Also, I have no shame regarding casual sex, so....?

So that's all I have to say about THAT...( à la Forrest Gump, lol)

Now we should be in for some lively discussion.... lmao ;-)
 GattoMonstrosis
Joined: 4/4/2013
Msg: 274
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Independence VS Interdependance
Posted: 5/16/2015 9:39:30 AM

Wow, what a can of worms this is.


Those are the second best cans in the universe. :) The best discussions are always controversial, if everyone agrees with each other it's just a round of yep, yep, me too, but a subject you can really get your teeth into, that can keep you going all night. :)


she did run a brothel and whilst she was successful at it were all the prostitutes who worked for her? where they all there by choice? or was they there through unfortunate circumstances?


She campaigned for prostitutes rights, i don't know if she ever took advantage of them but i wouldn't think so.
 Theophannia
Joined: 1/19/2014
Msg: 275
Independence VS Interdependance
Posted: 5/16/2015 11:41:08 PM
Its absolutely necessary. It's also something that I am only now learning how to do, with the patient and loving guidance of a man I have been with for 2 years.

For me, it was like pulling teeth in the beginning. I'm still prone to the "control" thing though, that safety guard. What I have noticed is that I am now capable of saying exactly what I mean, up front, fear or not. That I have M. to thank for. But the thing is, your relationships will hold a better quality. Sure, I would be devastated if any one of my beloved companions exited my life. But in the end its about truly being IN NOW by their side and fully with them, not guarding for later. Its profoundly shocking the first time you make yourself completely vulnerable to another person. It can in fact be very rewarding as well.
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