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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > The older the man the more critical and judgmental he is....      Home login  
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 Strawberry_Jello
Joined: 5/13/2014
Msg: 26
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The older the man the more critical and judgmental he is....Page 2 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)
I've encountered this a few times.

Example;
him - why don't you dye your hair?
me - I used to do that but decided I just don't want to go through all that anymore.
him - but most women dye their hair.
me - I just don't want to do it anymore.
him - you should get a nicer car.
me - gone silent as I have a 2011 Honda Accord and feel it's more than adequate.
him - you should go shopping at Nordstroms and Saks.
me - no, I often shop at Goodwill.
him - are you serious???
me - yes I am.
him - you should have a more recent photo.
me- didn't bother to respond. At least he was able to recognize me, I would have walked right past him.
We are no longer dating, lol.

Example #2
Upset with me because I left bigger tips than he felt was appropriate. I explained I like to leave generous tips as I was a waitress once. He accused me of being passive aggressive over this. I told him nobody tells me how to spend my money. And yes, I paid for my own meal. His profile says he is easy going.
We are no longer dating.

Example #3
Offered him fresh fruit, peeled, on a plate. He said I shouldn't assume he will want to eat the same things I do. WTF! He was apparently not capable of saying no thank you. I ate it myself.
We are no longer dating.

Others;
Shouldn't you put newspapers down on the basement floor? He came into the basement uninvited.
You should fix that broken doorbell. Yes, I should do that, or you could fix it for me. He didn't.
You should wear a watch, how can you make appointments on time? I met you on time without one didn't I?

Either you like me and we can go forward, or if you don't like me just say thanks but no thanks.

I'm not going to change my hair or car or shopping habits or generous tipping or watch wearing or fruit offering for you. So there! LOL.
 Axis555
Joined: 3/29/2015
Msg: 27
The older the man the more critical and judgmental he is....
Posted: 4/9/2015 9:05:50 AM
In my experience older men have always been very accepting and less critical and judgmental, like the over 40s. I don't think it's the same for older women though, they get more feisty :)
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 28
The older the man the more critical and judgmental he is....
Posted: 4/9/2015 9:19:10 AM
Some people just feel the need to tell others what to do
Like me LOL Bossy as heck. But if someone tells me to not do something-
small meltdown.
 Eternityboreme
Joined: 3/18/2015
Msg: 29
The older the man the more critical and judgmental he is....
Posted: 4/9/2015 10:21:45 AM

How the heck did you determine the above from the original posters line???


Cheapskates tend to be demanding and controlling.


Where do you people come up with this stuff? You sound like a grumpy old lady.


Considering that you're stated age is a more than a decade over mine -- perhaps it's older, if I remember at least two of your previous 'nyms -- I'd reserve the "old lady" snark for the people who complained in these forums, about women who do meet people and have relationships.


And yes, sometimes folks just need a little poke to see a sunnier side of life.


No. people don't have the right to poke me -- figuratively or otherwise -- and tell me how I need to feel or what to do with my body.
 stormy2728weather
Joined: 4/3/2015
Msg: 30
The older the man the more critical and judgmental he is....
Posted: 4/9/2015 10:51:55 AM
"Cheapskates tend to be demanding and controlling."

That's a generalization and did not come from the original post.

There are people of all ages who seem grumpy, critical and complain about damn near everything. Its not age or gender specific.
 Like2dance
Joined: 4/13/2013
Msg: 31
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The older the man the more critical and judgmental he is....
Posted: 4/9/2015 12:10:45 PM
Since I date women, not men, I do not know how grumpy older men get in dating scenarios. However, some of the stories related herein by women I find quite amusing.

What I have noticed is how demanding, denigrating and belittling older women are of older men they date. Therefore, although I retain some as long time friends I would not deign to date older women and stick with younger, attractive, premenopausal women.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 32
The older the man the more critical and judgmental he is....
Posted: 4/9/2015 12:21:05 PM

What I have noticed is how demanding, denigrating and belittling older women are of older men they date. Therefore, although I retain some as long time friends I would not deign to date older women and stick with younger, attractive, premenopausal women.


So, in other words, you only date younger women because of grumpy old men...lmfao
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 33
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The older the man the more critical and judgmental he is....
Posted: 4/9/2015 12:22:59 PM
^^^^^^^^^^^^


Omg!!! Almost spit out my water....Good one cham......LOL
 justdeb1111
Joined: 8/12/2012
Msg: 34
The older the man the more critical and judgmental he is....
Posted: 4/9/2015 2:28:23 PM

Come to think of it, I know someone cares about me when they give me sh!t. A friend will be honest and not tell you what you want to hear.




Clooneys
I am beginning to understand why you have had three marriages if you criticise those you care about. That to me is the antithesis of caring and acceptance. I know people who say they criticise for the other person's good. Baloney.
A friend being honest is a different thing altogether.


So according to Leticia, you can not be friends with your wife or husband?

Or...gawd...are you saying all should be "friends first".

(cackles as she just linked this thread to THAT one...hehehehe)

 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 35
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The older the man the more critical and judgmental he is....
Posted: 4/9/2015 2:36:57 PM
If you can't become friends with your mate, your relationship won't last too long, IMO.
 CrookCatcher
Joined: 7/14/2014
Msg: 36
The older the man the more critical and judgmental he is....
Posted: 4/9/2015 2:58:36 PM

The older the man the more critical and judgmental he is....


I'm pretty sure those are inherent to their personalities throughout their lives.

Barring some emotional catastrophe along the way people will pretty much stay the same personality wise. YMMV

Like our retired postman.....
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 37
The older the man the more critical and judgmental he is....
Posted: 4/9/2015 3:10:40 PM
wish some older Man would be critical of my sandals and buy me the new ones I need to badly. Sniffle
Interesting you say that CC - I think I have changed.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 38
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The older the man the more critical and judgmental he is....
Posted: 4/9/2015 3:33:04 PM
People do change very much, in a way, according to my observations of myself and everyone around me. However, very often, the most dramatic changes only seem to be such.

For an example, someone who was very honest in their early years, may become a callous liar later on. On a surface level, it may seem that this is a 180 degree reversal. But if you look more closely, you find that the reason they were scrupulously honest early on, was because they were intent on following what they thought were the Rules of the People Who Know. Later on, they come to the conclusion that the REAL People Who Know, are the manipulators, the cheats, and the self-centered liars. So they dive in with verve and dedication to that way of life.

They really haven't changed a jot, in their hearts and minds. They remained 100% committed to following the lead of whoever seems to be the Big Brains.
 CrookCatcher
Joined: 7/14/2014
Msg: 39
The older the man the more critical and judgmental he is....
Posted: 4/9/2015 3:35:00 PM

I think I have changed.


In what way? I think I've gotten where I'm more apt to give my opinion, but not in a judgemental way. If anything IRL my tendency is to go with the flow so to speak. No time for discontent at this point. :)

Heck if I knew what size and type I'd just send you a pair of sandals just because.....sometimes little things can change a person's outlook.

I used to pay for the person's coffee or drink in the car behind me at the drive thru at Dunkin Donut 3-4 times a week. Someone did that to me several years ago. A nice gesture and a way to pay it forward.....
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 40
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The older the man the more critical and judgmental he is....
Posted: 4/9/2015 4:05:49 PM
Clooneys

If by that remark about enlarged breasts, that you are inferring criticism etc is essentially a ****y female thing to do, then you are being sexist. I am also aware that I am criticising you for being critical lol!!
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 41
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The older the man the more critical and judgmental he is....
Posted: 4/9/2015 4:18:32 PM
Several women friends that I know, tell me about these screwball turkeys that demand certain things from them. I think they tell me these things, because they like watching me sit and stare at them with my mouth hanging open. How they can make those demands is beyond me. Or maybe I'm not the controlling type. Then, what really gets me is that so MANY guys do that. Last I checked, I thought women were something to have fun with, not order around and belittle.
 clooneystutor
Joined: 3/8/2015
Msg: 42
The older the man the more critical and judgmental he is....
Posted: 4/9/2015 4:22:54 PM
Letitia, I assure you that I am my harshest critic.

My comment about my enlarged breasts was a joke that implied my estrogen levels are high as a result of manopause:)
 justdeb1111
Joined: 8/12/2012
Msg: 43
The older the man the more critical and judgmental he is....
Posted: 4/9/2015 4:32:10 PM

Where did you draw that conclusion from my remarks?? I never said that one cannot be friends with your wife and husband.??????? yes I do agree that a marriage will not be happy unless there is friendship in the mix.


I got my conclusion from your own words when you zero'ed in on Clooney. Re-read messages 2 and 22. He was saying that he would take/give constructive criticism with anyone he cared about. You then pointed out that must be the reason for his multiple marriages. No other conclusion about your point can be drawn from this--unless you'd like to clarify.

I agree with everything he said, except my chest isn't increasing, unfortunately.
 SLAFFA
Joined: 8/13/2007
Msg: 44
The older the man the more critical and judgmental he is....
Posted: 4/9/2015 4:58:56 PM
I've got a feeling that most of what you have heard/related from men came from JUST a man or 2? Possibly recently?

I can't speak for other men, but any man over about 40 should have learned THE most important thing when in a Relationship IMO.

If what you have related is an ongoing thing with "many" men, you might want to put your "picker" in the shop for an adjustment/tuneup.
 clooneystutor
Joined: 3/8/2015
Msg: 45
The older the man the more critical and judgmental he is....
Posted: 4/9/2015 4:59:57 PM
'Tough Love'

A teacher hammering a good student that screws up once because he knows he can make an impact on the good student, versus the loud mouth that will never change.

Criticism doesn't have to be synonymous with insults.

Why regard criticism at all unless spoken by someone you respect?

On a side note, research in developmental psychology has found evidence that older adults are less inhibited when it comes to 'speaking their minds', solicited or not.

Perhaps as a result of life experience and wisdom?

YMMV
 BlondeCinderella
Joined: 12/2/2013
Msg: 46
The older the man the more critical and judgmental he is....
Posted: 4/9/2015 5:21:45 PM
"Irritable Male Syndrome" - gives a 'name' to the problem but, sadly, does not FIX it.

Your list of 14 "icky attributes" are right-on and most men I encounter here, on POF, do possess most if not all of them - but how do you explain why older men (over 50) who are in happy, fulfilling, contented and loving committed relationships don't seem to have ANY of those "14 icky attributes" on your list?

NEWS FLASH: Most (ah what the hell.... ALL) single men (over 50) are "throw-aways"...they've been given to us older (over 50) girls by other women who, for one reason or another, didn't want them anymore. So....lucky us single girls here on POF...we now get them - including all of their icky, condescending insults - here are just a few of MANY I hear constantly in my mailbox here on POF:

* Why don't you have photos in your profile wearing makeup and nail polish trying to look attractive? My reply: When I wear makeup to look "gorgeous" then men complain when I TAKE IT OFF and they see the "real me" so I choose NEVER to wear any makeup to avoid future disappointment.

* Your photos are old, old, old...get some RECENT photos. My reply: They are only a YEAR old. Get real. Trust me I haven't changed much in a year - I'm not good with "selfies" and RARELY take any.

* You are a joke with that ridiculous little red "flip" phone in your photos. Good News Everybody: That phone died shortly after I took the last photo - and I'm real hip now, Daddy-O, with my new BIG SMART PHONE which, suffice to say, is a hell of a lot smarter then most of the men I here from these days.

* You better not eat so much chocolate or you will become FAT. My reply: How fat do I have to get to get rid of you....you icky, dumpy, gray-haired old man (and I'm younger then they are and I look 20 years younger then they do).

* You should go to a gym and get ready for bikini season. My reply: When YOU are ready for a thong...let me know Darlin' and we can meet at the beach.

* You seem to have an "attitude". My reply: Oh darn.....let me count all the ways I need "improvement" and I'll get back to you..........

* I don't eat meat so don't expect me to eat any of that homemade fried chicken you brought to the picnic. I replied: Wonderful... more for ME to enjoy. He brought tofu salad. Creepy.

Nuf on all that negativity and Debby Downer nonsense. As for the woman who has a "perfect life with her perfect lover/boyfriend. Hmmm.........I read what she said he said to her in a message and, to any highly intelligent person....never mind. That message he sent her "speaks volumes" and let's leave it at that but I'll pass on him also.

Maybe I'm too sentimental and emotionally intense for most people's ability to reciprocate but I don't dig "constrained and confined" emotions...I let it all hang out. Either you are really "into" me or you're not. I don't do luke-warm....thank you very much. Women should NEVER have to "chase after" a man...it's against nature.

Thank you to all of you who took your time to share your opinions. Many of you "got the picture". Some did not. Suffice to say......don't be stingy with your EMOTIONS. Spread some genuine and authentic love and wonderful things will happen in your life.

TO ALL MEN: Try compliments, kindness, sincerity, affection, generosity of the HEART and lots of loving attention and you will be shocked into just how excitingly passionate, "hot" and thrilling women can really be. Lose the "controlling attitude" and dominant behavior and replace it with LOTS OF LOVE and you'll never have to dial up the phone to 1-800-HOT SEX again.

There are millions of women on this POF site (and all over the world) who are just waiting by their phones for you to dial THEIR numbers instead...........
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 47
The older the man the more critical and judgmental he is....
Posted: 4/9/2015 6:19:23 PM
How sad you consider people to be throw -aways?
What happened to your " smiles"
Awful
 SunshineGirl__
Joined: 10/7/2014
Msg: 48
The older the man the more critical and judgmental he is....
Posted: 4/9/2015 6:21:01 PM
OP. Maybe you should accept your share of the responsibility for your interactions with older men.


…then men complain when I TAKE IT OFF and they see the "real me" so I choose NEVER to wear any makeup to avoid future disappointment. ….

I'm real hip now, Daddy-O, with my new BIG SMART PHONE


You let men dictate what you do. If you want to wear makeup, wear it. If you don’t want to, don’t…but don’t blame men for YOUR decision.

You didn’t have to get a smart phone just because men (or a man) insulted your flip phone.

The rest of your rant is mostly about simple incompatibility between you and the men you’ve dated. If anyone says something you don’t like, then don’t associate with that person. Simple!!

You’re trashing a guy because he doesn’t eat meat?? Or are you implying that he should crap all over his personal convictions or whatever reason he chooses not to eat meat because you “homemade” it?

If you think ALL men over 50 are other women’s leftovers, then leave them alone. You may think your man-hater rant is amusing, but it isn’t. It’s disrespectful. And it won’t make men change for you…maybe look in the mirror.
 chancemusic
Joined: 7/16/2014
Msg: 49
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The older the man the more critical and judgmental he is....
Posted: 4/9/2015 6:27:31 PM
@BlondeCinderella I am truly sorry about the kind of men you are encountering whether on or off POF. As a guy if I had the same experience with women I would not walk but run the other way, sort of like Forrest Gump and just go on running. Or at the least just forget about finding someone. But hope springs eternal!! I don't blame you for being so disgusted with your experiences they sound worse than nasty from your descriptions.

Based on the kind of negativity, judgment and criticism, you say these men shower on you I am wondering whether these are men you dated and/or were in a relationship for sometime or if they are men you met 2-3 times and they start talking to you the way you describe in your examples. If it is the latter I am wondering what gave these men the kind of permission or presumptuousness to be so nasty and in-your-face about it considering you are still just getting to know each other.

Without being mean spirited or snarky in what I am about to say - do you think PERHAPS, just MAYBE SOME of the qualities you seek in men might possibly have something to do with the men you meet ALSO being critical, nasty and judgmental. To give an ANALOGY, some women are usually attracted to so-called "bad boys" and they get mistreated, dumped upon etc.

My experience is that usually how others behave towards us is because of how we treat or talk about ourselves. And at other times we might simply confide by sharing one's personal challenges and battles with whatever it may, weight, fitness, punctuality, snacking etc. And manipulative people (not just men) frequently use such information to browbeat you and make you feel inadequate.

I do hope IT gets better for you and you encounter men with a better quality of mind.
 VolkanoKing
Joined: 8/1/2014
Msg: 50
The older the man the more critical and judgmental he is....
Posted: 4/9/2015 7:00:29 PM
Irritable Male Syndrome!

Hilarious.
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