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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > The older the man the more critical and judgmental he is....      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 deetristate
Joined: 12/4/2014
Msg: 51
The older the man the more critical and judgmental he is....Page 3 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)
What did she say that was "man=hater?"
 BlondeCinderella
Joined: 12/2/2013
Msg: 52
The older the man the more critical and judgmental he is....
Posted: 4/9/2015 8:31:11 PM
Deetristate seems to be the ONLY person that understands what I am trying to say:

I am not a "man-hater" and she gets it. She also understands my concept that "all the happy and loving men are at home with their wives who will NEVER give up these wonderful men....NEVER - they know a fabulous man when they've got one and want to keep him all to themselves.

My father was a wonderful man and my mother told me (constantly and continuously when I was growing up) that my father was RARE: extremely loving, affectionate, kind, considerate, respectful, very hard working, generous in many ways and when she met him she grabbed him FAST...fortunately my father was madly in love with mother from the first date. They were both 22. They were blissfully married for almost 70 years until they both died recently. I am an "only child" so I have no brothers to compare to my father to but mother was right...."Good men are very hard to find".

Here is my challenge to you: PROVE MY MOTHER WRONG. PROVE ME WRONG. If there are some really loving and wonderful men reading this... start sending messages...there are a lot of wonderful and loving women on this POF site just waiting to hear from you.........

I tried to "spread some love" but very few people "get it". Even most of the women (based on their replies to my posting) are rather mean, cruel and critical and don't seem to have much love and affection to pass along. I tried and I failed at "jump starting" LOVE. What a bummer.

I rest my case.
Marcella
 clooneystutor
Joined: 3/8/2015
Msg: 53
The older the man the more critical and judgmental he is....
Posted: 4/9/2015 8:47:41 PM
Nobody should have to prove anything, to anyone.

Your mother was 22 when she got married. You are 57.

You don't sound very loving and wonderful, IMHO. Why don't YOU start sending messages?

Spreading love? My ass. I'm not feeling the love here babe.

Smells like an 18 year old eating cheese puffs and bored during Spring Break.
 forums1
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 54
The older the man the more critical and judgmental he is....
Posted: 4/9/2015 8:48:59 PM

Here is my challenge to you: PROVE MY MOTHER WRONG. PROVE ME WRONG. If there are some really loving and wonderful men reading this... start sending messages...there are a lot of wonderful and loving women on this POF site just waiting to hear from you.........


No thanks. I am who I am, and I don't really feel like "proving myself" to anyone. Either we 'click' or we don't. I'm not "jumping through hoops" to prove something.


Even most of the women (based on their replies to my posting) are rather mean, cruel and critical and don't seem to have much love and affection to pass along. I tried and I failed at "jump starting" LOVE. What a bummer.


Love isn't something you can "jump start", it either happens or it doesn't, and it only happens if you're willing to LET it happen, and are willing to accept the other person as they are (and if you aren't then they aren't the right person for you). You get to know each other, and as you discover more you decide whether they have the qualities you want and can accept, or not... but if you go into it expecting them to "prove themselves" then that kinda reeks of trying to push your expectations on them - which, in essence is akin to wanting them to be what they aren't. You're not going to "fix" them and get them to be something else.

I agree with what "chance" said above, if you find this happening all the time, maybe you should look at your own choices/filters on who you date - there's one "commonality" between them all, and that is *you*, isn't it?
 justdeb1111
Joined: 8/12/2012
Msg: 55
The older the man the more critical and judgmental he is....
Posted: 4/9/2015 8:50:18 PM
@ Op
I "get it"---the good ones are already taken is a common thread in any dating experience. I don't think that is the case all of the time, though, and all it takes is one exception :)

Your mom gave you good advice. All my mom ever told me about men is that if I in the future I should find that I am married but my husband and I are arguing--I should take my clothes off.

Mom said they can't argue with you then.
 forums1
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 56
The older the man the more critical and judgmental he is....
Posted: 4/9/2015 8:52:08 PM
I have to add, I find it rather interesting that an "older woman" is sitting around *criticizing* and *judging* "older men" for being "critical and judgmental".
 BlackLady1953
Joined: 5/27/2011
Msg: 57
view profile
History
The older the man the more critical and judgmental he is....
Posted: 4/9/2015 9:27:36 PM
Do we know the same men???? I find that happens to me, too.

"You didn't vote the 'right' way".........

"Hair done, nails done, clothes match = high maintenance."

"Spending money on "unneeded" stuff: a nice birthday gift for a friend (man says a 50 cent card from the dollar store will do)"

"Why are you drinking Blue Moon, when you could drink Budweiser (because the Bud swill is "cheaper")
"Getting the windows in your house cleaned inside and out ever spring and hanging up fresh draperies -- why?"

Pets -- "they're too much work and you have to spend MONEY to take care of them."

And I, too pay for it all myself.
 SLAFFA
Joined: 8/13/2007
Msg: 58
The older the man the more critical and judgmental he is....
Posted: 4/9/2015 9:50:51 PM
Per your last post, I would bet my last dollar that if you were on a paid site, most all of the messages in your INbox would be from a higher class of men. The very nature of this FREE site dictates what the vast majority of email from men to ladies will look like. Sane "very decent" guys won't continue to send emails very long here at Fish unless 1] they enjoy typing and/or 2] they are masochists. Might as well throw in a 3] They are desperate.

But don't take my word for it. Beg, borrow, steal or fabricate a few pics of a reasonably attractive 50ish guy, write the perfect profile for him and start sending emails to ladies claiming to be looking for whatever it is that YOU put in "his" profile. And watch what happens. Or doesn't happen. Then and ONLY then will you realize why your INbox looks the way it does.

A woman's best bet at THIS site is to SEND emails IMO.

IMO? No. It's what almost ever single woman I have met on this site told me when I met them or at least talked to on the phone.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 59
The older the man the more critical and judgmental he is....
Posted: 4/9/2015 10:12:11 PM

She also understands my concept that "all the happy and loving men are at home with their wives who will NEVER give up these wonderful men....NEVER - they know a fabulous man when they've got one and want to keep him all to themselves.


If the above is your belief and if it were actually true, the same would hold true that "all the happy and loving women are at home with their husbands who will NEVER give up these wonderful women...Never..." This then leaves it that the women online are just as defective as the men you globally insult, including yourself. You might as well then bar any individuals past the age of 50 from joining online dating sites because it's apparently a lost cause, according to you.
 Literate_Hiker
Joined: 1/1/2015
Msg: 60
The older the man the more critical and judgmental he is....
Posted: 4/9/2015 11:03:19 PM

BlondeCinderella: My father was a wonderful man and my mother told me (constantly and continuously when I was growing up) that my father was RARE: extremely loving, affectionate, kind, considerate, respectful, very hard working, generous in many ways

That is wonderful that you father was such an amazing, loving, caring man. I'm glad you think so highly of him.

You just described the man I'm dating. He is an extraordinary man: wise, funny, highly intelligent, kind, respectful, affectionate, appreciative, generous, insightful, positive and energetic. John has a warm, loving heart. He has been flying all over the world for years, helping children traumatized by school shootings.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 61
The older the man the more critical and judgmental he is....
Posted: 4/10/2015 5:08:36 AM
Well, just for the shiats and giggles at such a fine hour of the start of a day. A sippin day, I might add.


She also understands my concept that "all the happy and loving men are at home with their wives who will NEVER give up these wonderful men....NEVER - they know a fabulous man when they've got one and want to keep him all to themselves.


Well, that may I suggest that your "search" is basically a big waste of your time at this time of your life? You basically have told us that there are no "fabulous", or "wonderful" men that are single in your age group. They are all gone. Poof. Taken. Sitting at home with their wives. Every single one of them.


Here is my challenge to you: PROVE MY MOTHER WRONG. PROVE ME WRONG. If there are some really loving and wonderful men reading this... start sending messages...there are a lot of wonderful and loving women on this POF site just waiting to hear from you.........


I highly doubt it, according to your suggestion that all this "wonderful and loving women" are sitting at home with those "wonderful and fabulous" men they married. Seems to me all the single people of both genders will have accept all the "throw aways" of those "wonderful, fabulous, loving" partnered up people that you have told us about. It saddens me that I never reached that high point that those wonderful and fabulous guys have reached in their lifetime.


TO ALL MEN: Try compliments, kindness, sincerity, affection, generosity of the HEART and lots of loving attention and you will be shocked into just how excitingly passionate, "hot" and thrilling women can really be. Lose the "controlling attitude" and dominant behavior and replace it with LOTS OF LOVE and you'll never have to dial up the phone to 1-800-HOT SEX again.


I don't think us guys are capable of such actions. You see, we've been tossed aside for the last 30 years or so, because of ignorant cave man behaviour. Us single old guys are just not worthy, capable, or able. And with that, since sex is ALWAYS on our minds, we HAVE to use that 1-800 number of which you seem to know about. Just so ya know, we have internet now which gives us access to a lot of FREE "stuff", since we are also very cheap and guarded with our well earned cash. Porn and beer dear. Porn and beer.


I rest my case.


May I ask. What's the verdict?
 motowncowgirl
Joined: 3/24/2015
Msg: 62
The older the man the more critical and judgmental he is....
Posted: 4/10/2015 5:49:50 AM
so I read the deetristate interpretation to see what everyone else has misunderstood. seems to be the point that most older men are bitter and getting bitterer, UNLESS they're at home with their wives which makes them (sadly) unavailable to women like blondecinderella.

it's the classic double bind where you wants what you can't has, and what you can has you don't wants. even though your assessment of how happy these married men must be and how bitter the single ones are isn't objective at all and mostly based on your creative interpretation and maybe a few bad examples from your past in which you were 50% of the problem by default. because a judgmental older man without a judged woman to hear it has nothing to say. don't worry though, you can turn that to your advantage by claiming you were a victim or otherwise special in some way. the premise is that the natural state of an older single man is to be bitter and judgmental, but the natural state of an older single woman is to be loving and wonderful. that's why there's a sea of older, bitter men who are somehow singling you out. shit magnet.

while I have no doubt that there are some bitter older guys out there, i'm just as sure that a lot of them are married while a lot of the non-bitter ones are single. so i'm always skeptical when someone comes along and starts setting themselves up as being exceptional while blaming an entire gender/status for their inability to find love and happiness. it's not fvcking realistic, ok?

this will probably be interpreted as a rather mean, cruel and critical remark made by me.

oh well.
 stormy2728weather
Joined: 4/3/2015
Msg: 63
The older the man the more critical and judgmental he is....
Posted: 4/10/2015 7:28:52 AM

NEWS FLASH: Most (ah what the hell.... ALL) single men (over 50) are "throw-aways"...they've been given to us older (over 50) girls by other women who, for one reason or another, didn't want them anymore. So....lucky us single girls here on POF...we now get them - including all of their icky, condescending insults - here are just a few of MANY I hear constantly in my mailbox here on POF:


Where do you get this stuff? You do realize that this site probably has more women on it than men at least in the forums. The vast majority of women, by the OP's criteria, are "throwaways" as well. Someone tossed them aside or they wouldn't be here looking, commenting, criticizing, bytching or arguing the OP is incorrect or correct. Maybe the OP has a Cinderella complex - I'm perfect and the rest of you aren't, especially the men.

So maybe the female throwaways should join forces with the male throwaways and try and get along. Men in their 50s and beyond are no more critical, judgmental or cranky than the women are. We can argue male menopause and female menopause until we're blue in the face.....we all go through stuff and we all survive. Men are no worse than women and if anyone thinks so....go read some forums posts in here and you will soon learn that women on here bytch far, far more than the men do.

As for "hot" or great guys on here - give me a Walts, Clooney and a Crookcatcher any day as these three in particular are witty, charming, intelligent, can laugh at themselves, have a great sense of self and I'd love to meet the three of them. And there are more on here that I think are wonderful and would make a great catch.

Some folks focus on faults, red flags, misinterpreted intentions and comments, can't question let alone listen and make everything about them. Many would not know a "great guy/gal" if they fell in their lap with a big red bow.
 Literate_Hiker
Joined: 1/1/2015
Msg: 64
The older the man the more critical and judgmental he is....
Posted: 4/10/2015 7:49:36 AM

stormy2728weather: As for "hot" or great guys on here - give me a Walts, Clooney and a Crookcatcher any day as these three in particular are witty, charming, intelligent, can laugh at themselves, have a great sense of self and I'd love to meet the three of them. And there are more on here that I think are wonderful and would make a great catch.

AGREED.

Many would not know a "great guy/gal" if they fell in their lap with a big red bow.

I snorted with laughter at this. A great visual image.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 65
The older the man the more critical and judgmental he is....
Posted: 4/10/2015 8:09:39 AM
I feel duped by this Cinderella story.
It started out I could sort of understand what she was trying to
say. Then the "all single men over 50 are throw aways" rant, and I lost my
vision of the smiling cindyella leaving the ball (without make up) with her
prince chasing her down the stairs.

Way to ruin a good story.
 VolkanoKing
Joined: 8/1/2014
Msg: 66
The older the man the more critical and judgmental he is....
Posted: 4/10/2015 8:57:45 AM
"Per your last post, I would bet my last dollar that if you were on a paid site, most all of the messages in your INbox would be from a higher class of men."

I actually spent some money to research this. Heh.

Oh, I was on most of the *big* pay sites and the free ones. The men were all the same across the board. $30 a month doesn't buy you much of an upgrade. I saw alot of the same guys on all the sites. Even saw the same guy from Craigslist on EHarmoney. Of course, on the paid site he didnt mention he was into domination.

So, you never know.

I actually agree with the more critical thing, that men my age are way more critical and judgmental. But then...so am I. At least, I am definitely more discerning than I was in my 20's. The stuff I used to tolerate in the name of idealism! Even into my 30's, until I finally settled into a nice 9 year relationship and saw I didn't have to tolerate weird uncomfortable behavior because "eventually things will settle down."

So for the past 5, out on my own again, my attitude is different, as I reflect back on situations I used to "hope my way out of."

Also, looking for a mate online is bound to lead to jaded frustration for many. Not all, but many. As I've blabbed on about before it is a higher concentrate of people who think they can order up exactly what they want and discard the "unworthy" and slip quickly back into obscurity. When you keep running into situations where you realize you couldnt *possibly* fit their criteria because it is *beyond* a needle in a haystack it can wear on you.


Also, unfortunately, we are living in an era that seems to be more self centered than even the "me" generation of the early 70's. Today, it is "ME ME ME!!" And that can get tiring.

I get the discouragement. I do. Most of the good men are taken and busy raising families. It's a tough age to be at. More and more reflection going on now. More caution, and always the "pressure to have a super happy life" which is an insufferable concept, especially when it is always tied into *being with someone.*
 clooneystutor
Joined: 3/8/2015
Msg: 67
The older the man the more critical and judgmental he is....
Posted: 4/10/2015 8:59:23 AM
Them glass slippers don't look very fitting OP.

I sense some frustration?

Donning an Easter bonnet does wonders to promote a cheerful, pleasant and positive attitude. Try it.
 Whatsamattababy
Joined: 2/17/2015
Msg: 68
The older the man the more critical and judgmental he is....
Posted: 4/10/2015 9:16:25 AM

Examples: "I eat WAY too much meat", "I eat WAY too much candy", "I spend WAY too much money on 'unneeded' stuff", "I spend way too much time doing 'unimportant' things", blah, blah, blah. Huh? I pay for EVERYTHING myself. I expect no one to buy me even one piece of chocolate (but I admit I do buy a LOT of it with my own money).


The way I see it, there are two possible responses to these comments:

1) "F*ck off."
2) "Stop talking and take your pants off."

(Choose wisely.)
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 69
The older the man the more critical and judgmental he is....
Posted: 4/10/2015 9:17:11 AM

VKing: Most of the good men are taken and busy raising families. It's a tough age to be at.


That would mean most of the good women are taken and busy raising families too. The last time I checked, it takes two people to make a relationship/marriage. Shouldn't things balance out in that case?
 clooneystutor
Joined: 3/8/2015
Msg: 70
The older the man the more critical and judgmental he is....
Posted: 4/10/2015 9:22:23 AM


The way I see it, there are two possible responses to these comments:

1) "F*ck off."
2) "Stop talking and take your pants off."

(Choose wisely.)


Puhleeze.....

#2 will shut me up pronto!
 Whatsamattababy
Joined: 2/17/2015
Msg: 71
The older the man the more critical and judgmental he is....
Posted: 4/10/2015 9:27:22 AM
^ Right? It's not rocket science.
 VolkanoKing
Joined: 8/1/2014
Msg: 72
The older the man the more critical and judgmental he is....
Posted: 4/10/2015 9:45:01 AM
Maleman: I know it's your career here to try to contradict and correct us gals, but you need to know when and where to do it.

From my first day on this forum, I have always said women were just as nuts/crazy/insane as men are.

You may want to read the title of this thread again.

Oh yeah! We're talking about MEN on this one.

Which MAY explain why I exclusively discussed my opinions on men.

Are women just the same? SOUND THE TRUMPETS! Dun dun dunnnnnnnnnn....drum roll......

Of course they are.

But see, this is not a thread where people are asked to talk about women being judgmental and critical. Although you certainly are free to start that as a topic. Where I would have probably popped in and offered up that yes, I fall into that category.

Plus I have to say the "men do this too! women do this too!" thing is kinda old. I think it's a GIVEN we are ALL screwed up.

Perhaps now you will settle down in contentment..you can rest assured that yes, women are fukked up too.

Yay in your brain!

Now, back to the regularly scheduled etc etc...
 Grl_next_door
Joined: 6/28/2014
Msg: 73
The older the man the more critical and judgmental he is....
Posted: 4/10/2015 9:58:15 AM
[I would bet my last dollar that if you were on a paid site, most all of the messages in your INbox would be from a higher class of men]. ..quote, SLAFFA

I spent some time on Match and Cupid. A majority of men were using fake pictures, with third world scammer grammar pretending to be Caucasian Canadian/American.

I don't know how but POF seems to deter them.
 motowncowgirl
Joined: 3/24/2015
Msg: 74
The older the man the more critical and judgmental he is....
Posted: 4/10/2015 10:11:52 AM

I spent some time on Match and Cupid. A majority of men were using fake pictures, with third world scammer grammar pretending to be Caucasian Canadian/American.

yeah i'll second that. what's with the idea that paid sites are any better? last time I signed up with one, I got carpet bombed with messages from loving christian men with degrees in architecture who had lost their wives in unfortunate accidents and called me 'dear' a lot. barf.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 75
The older the man the more critical and judgmental he is....
Posted: 4/10/2015 10:13:34 AM
Wouldn't it be your dream to go to Nigeria, since there seems to be so many single guys there who are looking for North American women?
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