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 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 26
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Is talking everyday too needy or clingy?Page 2 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
a quick good morning or wishing someone a good day by text is fine. If the other person expects an immediate response always then that can be a pain. It sounds as though he is not really into her and if they are having sex, then that is all he is really interested in right now.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 27
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Is talking everyday too needy or clingy?
Posted: 4/15/2015 2:05:50 AM
texaschick

although I agree the boob pics are really in your face she probably paid quite a bit for them and wants to show them. I am sure the guys are appreciative at least. l
 Eternityboreme
Joined: 3/18/2015
Msg: 28
Is talking everyday too needy or clingy?
Posted: 4/15/2015 2:42:59 AM
The guy on your list is a "broken bottle" that should be discarded by the woman he's seeing. It's not unreasonable to expect regular communication on bother of their agreed terms, for their relation to progress. Exchanging few texts a day or a brief phone call at a reasonable and unsuspecting time isn't unreasonable. His idea of being clingy is using her for what he wants without listening to her needs. He's low-hanging fruit, a useless broken bottle, and she needs to discard him. Soonest.
 Eternityboreme
Joined: 3/18/2015
Msg: 29
Is talking everyday too needy or clingy?
Posted: 4/15/2015 2:47:28 AM
I find the speculation about the OP's breasts and the finger-pointing tactless and rude -- and utterly irrelevant to this topic.
 motowncowgirl
Joined: 3/24/2015
Msg: 30
Is talking everyday too needy or clingy?
Posted: 4/15/2015 3:51:45 AM
I think you're jumping to a lot of conclusions about some guy on your facebook newsfeed and his non-relationship with some girl based on nothing more than a casual comment and how it clashes with your personal preferences. not everyone in the world wants the same things in the same way you do; it doesn't make them terrible people. it's a good thing he's not your sucky BF, right? phew.


Btw he said in his post that he was looking for a girlfriend. She was a prospect. She failed his standards because she was apparently too clingy.

gotcha. so he barely knows this woman but you've already determined that he is probably 'using her' because he's tired of getting her tedious texts and phone calls every single day? alrighty.


I'm just asking opinions if talking every day is needy or clingy.

it's a matter of opinion.
if some guy I only dated once or twice started calling and texting me every day, yeah i'm out.
Is talking everyday too needy or clingy?
Posted: 4/15/2015 4:16:30 AM
For me at least, it would be important to be able to tell the difference between daily contact being a requirement, and it being something which two people do naturally because they want to do so.

I'd want a relationship in which we simply enjoyed having some contact often, be it explicitly daily or not...and if one of us didn't happen to contact the other or respond to the other's contact on that day, it is not a cause for distress, insecurity, or treated as a rule that has been broken.

I once had a kinda-sorta-wannabe-relationship, while I was self-employed. She would call me while I was outside working every day, and I couldn't always hear or get to the phone right when she called, and when I did go out of my way for it I needed it to be a customer. I was ok with talking with her during these periods, as long as she understood that I wouldn't always be able to drop everything and get the phone as soon as she was calling. I made this clear to her more than once. One day it started raining and I couldn't work, so I took that opportunity to take my laundry to the Laundromat and do it...

...I'd barely gotten started with this project when she'd called. I hadn't been able to answer it when she called, and she'd left a message. When I picked up the message, it was her b!tching me out because "it's raining I know that you're not working today so you can answer the damned phone". Naturally I didn't call her back right away. She called again shortly after, again leaving a message. This message was her apologizing for her last message. Then, again very shortly, she called yet again, and left a message again (this was all too rapid-fire while I was occupied for me to answer right when she called, and I quickly lost any desire to do so). This third message was her b!tching me out again. The next one was her apologizing again. The next one was her b!tching me out again. Early on, these messages even included the accusations that I was cheating or something.

To shorten this story...it ended on that day. It was weird already, and that was too wacko.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 32
Is talking everyday too needy or clingy?
Posted: 4/15/2015 4:54:56 AM
The majority of any calls I make or get consists of: "Are you free on [such and such] day? What time do you want to get together? See you then. Bye." So far, I have been resisting the temptation to replace all human contact with electronic toys contact that everybody is so keen on doing and avoiding the human race. At some point in the future, historians will look back to see how humans interacted in the past, and will be totally astonished when they find out that an ancient human ritual was having face-to-face conversations, and quite often, information was exchanged this way. I would get annoyed if I was getting constant meaningless texts or messages with no important information. I prefer quality over quantity.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 33
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Is talking everyday too needy or clingy?
Posted: 4/15/2015 7:25:11 AM
A relationship I had 30 years ago that lasted 4.5 years consisted of daily phone calls that lasted 2-3 hours. Our record was 10 hours and 40 minutes.

I hate texting, but I love a great phone conversation. 2+ hours is pretty easy for me. If I posted the way I talk...

A female friend of mine and I had some long conversations on the phone a couple of weekends ago. It was about 15 hours total Saturday and Sunday. It was fun.

OP...Nice seeing you and your "girls".
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 34
Is talking everyday too needy or clingy?
Posted: 4/15/2015 7:29:16 AM

Yes I like getting a text each day, I wouldnt necessarily panic if they missed a day but I like it. Only problem really is that I dont always have time to text back or sometimes I forget which I guess can come across as losing interest as well lol.


I would get annoyed if I was getting constant meaningless texts or messages with no important information. I prefer quality over quantity.

I've been with my girl for over a year. We have moved together. But right before we moved together, we'd pretty much talked everyday. There were some days where I was at my place and I wanted to be alone and write, so she would text me and we would be fine. Now that we live together, when she took a trip to Florida, we talked some days, or text others. But on a daily basis we text each other and guess what, it's nothing of substance. It's nothing important. It's simply fluff, "I love you's" "I miss you" and very, very cheesy stuff. Total QUANTITY over quality. It not that she does not know or needs to know or feels that she is not being loved. It's that I love to think about her, and let her know as cheesy as it may be. Sometimes I pick up my phone and I am about to text her something when, wallah, she texts me first.

Now, if you are in your first three months, or have not establish your relationship then don't do any of this stuff. As long as it's not a one way street and both of you enjoy it, do it and be as silly as you want.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 35
Is talking everyday too needy or clingy?
Posted: 4/15/2015 8:10:05 AM
This is something that is unique to any of the two individuals involved.

Personally, I don't mind long phone calls, especially in the beginning when you're first getting to know each other and have been known to have them last hours and still be able to have things to discuss for hours when in person. When I'm in an established relationship, however, I really don't get off on either calling or being called on a daily basis and would sooner leave discussions for when we're together so we have more to talk about regarding what's gone on between seeing each other, unless of course, there's something that's needed to be talked about in between. Notwithstanding that I work from my home, it's still work and I don't appreciate being interrupted, just as a person shouldn't be interrupted by personal calls during working hours at any other type of job. I'm secure enough that I don't require constant contact in order to realize that someone is into me or not - I judge that in other ways.

I don't have the need for a cell phone. I guess because I grew up on an era where the world didn't come to an end if you didn't feel the need to constantly be in touch with someone electronically. My relationships have never come to an end because of it. Each one of them could have, however, at the beginning when the guys couldn't reach me and I'd be out and I'd come home to a plethora of either messages or call displays showing they'd called a great number of times in succession and then when I called back they'd say they "were worried about me"...wtf!!?? I'd have to set them straight that I found that kind of behaviour far too clingy and that I found it uncomfortable. Some people would appreciate that kind of contact but it's just not for me...as I said, depends on the type of person you are.
 Cycling99
Joined: 12/14/2014
Msg: 36
Is talking everyday too needy or clingy?
Posted: 4/15/2015 8:14:11 AM
It really depends on your level of communication skills, how secure or insecure you are about your relationship, and how busy is your life at the moment. To each their own!

Off topic: Julia, no le hagas caso a las personas criticando tus imagenes. Has lo que a ti te parezca mejor.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 37
Is talking everyday too needy or clingy?
Posted: 4/15/2015 8:19:00 AM

although I agree the boob pics are really in your face she probably paid quite a bit for them and wants to show them. I am sure the guys are appreciative at least.


Totally unnecessary and rude...not to mention petty and off topic.

OT: I can go either way I think. I'm not as tied to my phone as some, but my attention span doesn't allow
for long conversations via phone unless I'm really interested or involved (cough). Since I'm working most days,
I would think these convos would be NSFW anyways.

I do like a hello everyday though, could be a text or an email or a phone call.

But if someone like Mr. Pig came along and was totally anti phone, I'd prolly toss mine in a NY minute.
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 38
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Is talking everyday too needy or clingy?
Posted: 4/15/2015 8:25:16 AM
HATE text....but am a CHAMPION phone talker.....

I'm ALL for talking daily for at least a few minutes, even if only to catch up and allow your partner to feel 'included' in your Life....

I think this is one of those 'individual' things....

If you're feeling uncomfortable with the amount of communication that your partner wants then you negotiate and find something that's good for you both....

There IS no right or wrong amount of communication, just what each person wants and needs...
 _shakti_
Joined: 2/22/2014
Msg: 39
Is talking everyday too needy or clingy?
Posted: 4/15/2015 8:26:52 AM
For me it really depends on the connection. Some guys seem to want to write daily and just ask- how are you, and then talk about what they are doing for the day and ask me the same.. I'd rather watch paint dry tbh. I mean I get that a certain amount of those niceties are in order, but when it doesn't progress to anything else? I can't deal with it.

Yet with other guys, there is a flow to the conversation, even just through text.. they know how to approach me mentally, can spar with me, and be deep at times. With the right connection, I do want to talk to them lots and feel like I miss it without a steady dose, so to speak.

Even within relationships the daily contact thing can get stale. My one bf used to call me on EVERY lunch break, at exactly the same time. It was like some obligatory thing he had to cross off his list. And if I didn't do the same in return as far as checking in, or I wasn't available, he'd get all miffed.

There are times, paradoxically often when I'm most excited about someone, that I want some space. To assimilate I suppose, and come back down to earth before progressing any further. Some guys don't get that, and just keep coming forward no matter what I say. That absolutely 100% kills it for me.

But we're all different. All we can do is communicate our own needs and keep an open/non-judging mind to another's.
 clooneystutor
Joined: 3/8/2015
Msg: 40
Is talking everyday too needy or clingy?
Posted: 4/15/2015 8:40:10 AM
Texting is great!

Give me time to consult the forums before I respond to her texts :)
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 41
Is talking everyday too needy or clingy?
Posted: 4/15/2015 8:54:50 AM
I'm getting better at texting, but I'm slow because
I text in entire sentences with no abbreviations and
all the punctuation...drives my daughters nuts...hahahaha!

And while I know it was said in jest, these forums crack me
up. I'm not sure Mr. Clooney is far from the truth in his post
regarding some fishies.


Give me time to consult the forums before I respond to her texts
 ThePig0fYourDreams
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 42
Is talking everyday too needy or clingy?
Posted: 4/15/2015 8:56:47 AM

For me it really depends on the connection. Some guys seem to want to write daily and just ask- how are you, and then talk about what they are doing for the day and ask me the same.. I'd rather watch paint dry tbh. I mean I get that a certain amount of those niceties are in order, but when it doesn't progress to anything else? I can't deal with it.


That's what I'm talking about. It becomes an excruciating routine that feels more like a leash has been placed on me rather than there being a genuine interest in "connecting". After about the third or fourth text in a day asking "what are you doing?", I go through a process similar to David Banner morphing into The Hulk.


But if someone like Mr. Pig came along and was totally anti phone, I'd prolly toss mine in a NY minute.


Aww. You had me at "nsfw". ;)~
 slowitalldown
Joined: 1/25/2013
Msg: 43
Is talking everyday too needy or clingy?
Posted: 4/15/2015 9:03:16 AM
One of the things I like about the guy I am seeing right now is that communication. Seems to flow naturally. Some days we seem to text a lot, some days hardly at all but we will talk on the phone in the evening, some days go by and we haven't communicated at all.

If I feel like talking to him, I'll just pick up the phone and call, and it seems like he does the same. We seem to know when are not good times to call because we keep each other informed of how our schedules look. He knows if I'm in rehearsal or teaching I can't answer the ohone, so he will often text during this times and ask me to call later on. I know if he's in a meeting or at the gym he can't talk, so I'm more likely to send him a text.

He's away this week, he did call me when he got in Monday night, didn't hear from him yesterday not sure when but I know he will call me when he can, no texting because of where he is, and I'm in rehearsal every night so I'm. Ot worried not to hear from him.

On a regular basis, I pretty much imagine we would be in touch most days, but if a day goes by I certainly don't worry. When we first started seeing each other he would call or text me every couple of days, make plans then touch base to confirm. I would text him every couple of days or so also.
 VolkanoKing
Joined: 8/1/2014
Msg: 44
Is talking everyday too needy or clingy?
Posted: 4/15/2015 9:06:04 AM
"He wants no communication with her whatsoever on certain days."

Everyone has different needs. This could seem totally normal for him, just give me a day for myself...dont call, dont text. Let me breathe.

For others, talking every day is welcome.

Seems to me most of the biggest struggles boils down to a lack of compatibility. People trying to bend, change and twist someone else to meet their own needs, or feeling hurt, confused or devalued, but not actually looking at the situation rationally and realizing there is nothing you can do to change it, and maybe it's best to move on.

Yes, moving on IS another option. I've done it many times.
 _shakti_
Joined: 2/22/2014
Msg: 45
Is talking everyday too needy or clingy?
Posted: 4/15/2015 9:07:49 AM

That's what I'm talking about. It becomes an excruciating routine that feels more like a leash has been placed on me rather than there being a genuine interest in "connecting". After about the third or fourth text in a day asking "what are you doing?", I go through a process similar to David Banner morphing into The Hulk.
Hahaha!

I cringe and roll my eyes. It's like some people need to have a running commentary of complete inanities.

You end up feeling kinda stalked too, like they need to know what you are doing or where you are at all times.

One of the docs I work with was like that with me, he texted me constantly! All through the day and even on breaks at work he called me. Once he woke up at 3am and knew I was working nights, so he texted me. Many other situations like that too. I really respect him in a professional sense, but holy fukc! I had to have a talk with him, because it was making me seriously mental.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 6/22/2012
Msg: 46
Is talking everyday too needy or clingy?
Posted: 4/15/2015 10:16:40 AM
Quality over quantity. Some people are textaholics and literally have no idea how many messages they send out every day. Probably in the hundreds or thousands. "Good Mornings" are nice, but I'm driving to work and refuse to pull over for 15 minutes and engage in a text 'conversation'. Some people continue to send texts asking why no reply from the last one and crap like that - a sure sign of a irritating clinger.

Discipline your texting. Keep the count down to less than five messages a day - total - INCLUDING replies - and learn how to condense thoughts into those 5 messages. If you can't, then CALL them.

A daily connection phone call in the evening when things are winding down isn't too much. Always be aware of their schedule when you do call. Ask what times are good and REMEMBER what they tell you. Being ignorant of their plans makes you irritating almost instantly.
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 47
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Is talking everyday too needy or clingy?
Posted: 4/15/2015 11:14:44 AM

That's what I'm talking about. It becomes an excruciating routine that feels more like a leash has been placed on me rather than there being a genuine interest in "connecting". After about the third or fourth text in a day asking "what are you doing?", I go through a process similar to David Banner morphing into The Hulk.



No need to 'go green'....lmao

But yeah...4 texts/day???? That's a LITTLE much, unless there's actually SOMETHING to talk about!!! Other than 'how r u'?? LOL

And any way...won't be with someone that wants to text all the time, and definitely NOT that much!!!

Most of these inanities are nothing more than a difference of opinion/habit/perspective....

With a bit of communication and some negotiation, this kind of stuff can usually be easily resolved imo....
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 48
Is talking everyday too needy or clingy?
Posted: 4/15/2015 2:06:52 PM
This thread reminds me of a former co-worker. His wife is a stay-at-home mom. Every morning when he got to work, he phoned his wife to say he arrived. Every lunch break, he phoned his wife near the end of the break to say he finished having lunch. At the end of the shift, he always phoned his wife to say he's on his way home.

I had the misfortune of giving him a ride home occasionally when his wife wanted to use the car for the day-she would drop him off, but he asked for a ride home. It's about a half hour drive each way-depending on traffic As usual, he phoned his wife from work to say he's leaving work. No more than 10 minutes into the drive home, his phone rings. It's his wife and she's asking him 'Where exactly are you now, and how much longer will it take you to get home?" He tells her. I thought that was strange. About 10 minutes later, his phone rings again, and it's his wife again, asking the same questions-where exactly are you and how much longer. When we got to the exit that I had to take to get to his place, he phoned his wife to tell her he's at the exit. He said his wife told him to call her when we got to the exit. which is about 3 or 4 minutes from their home. If I was him, I would've been tempted to head in the opposite direction and chuck the phone.
 Dragracer428
Joined: 1/1/2012
Msg: 49
Is talking everyday too needy or clingy?
Posted: 4/15/2015 2:52:04 PM
Talking every day would be too clingy for me. Things have varied depending on the relationship but more calls than texts. Text were more of a "I am on my way" or "????'s this weekend". Phone every second or third day if we were only seeing each other on weekends have seemed to suffice all around.
Daily or more communication is too much for me.
 _shakti_
Joined: 2/22/2014
Msg: 50
Is talking everyday too needy or clingy?
Posted: 4/15/2015 4:46:53 PM

If I was him, I would've been tempted to head in the opposite direction and chuck the phone.
No doubt!
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