Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Is talking everyday too needy or clingy?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 kj521
Joined: 8/8/2012
Msg: 51
Is talking everyday too needy or clingy?Page 3 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
I think people over think the littlest things. Most couples settle into a contact pattern that suits them.

But one thing I do know is that more often than not....even when you are not the type to enjoy talking on the phone....when you are crazy about someone....you will not only want to hear that person's voice every chance you can but the anticipation will be delicious!

After a few years of marriage.....different story. :D


vvvvv Sure does....my brother in law texted my sister a pic for her birthday. The cheap SOB actually went into the store and took a pics of a card and sent them to her.
 clooneystutor
Joined: 3/8/2015
Msg: 52
Is talking everyday too needy or clingy?
Posted: 4/15/2015 4:56:30 PM
Texting pics is totally fine too.

A picture speaks a thousand words...
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 53
Is talking everyday too needy or clingy?
Posted: 4/15/2015 5:04:18 PM
I must send you my cel number Clooney
Texted a card????? LOL ok - I am trying to figure out what I would do with a texted card
Probably same thing I do with texted pix of body parts
Save and use for Christmas cards :)
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 54
view profile
History
Is talking everyday too needy or clingy?
Posted: 4/15/2015 5:26:01 PM
The wife's behaviour is pathological and I wonder what has gone down before. Abandonment issues I would say and
perhaps she does not really trust him. It would drive me nuts. If I were the guy I would ring once I arrived at work, lunch time and then as he leaves the office. That is more than enough for any sane person. I would then turn the phone off and tell her that is what I am doing.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 55
Is talking everyday too needy or clingy?
Posted: 4/16/2015 5:53:28 AM

....my brother in law texted my sister a pic for her birthday. The cheap SOB actually went into the store and took a pics of a card and sent them to her.


Look at it another way. He was doing his part to save the planet by saving a tree from being destroyed just to make cards. (lol) Nowadays, it's very seldom that I go to a store to buy cards. I usually send out e-cards from a card web site.
 motowncowgirl
Joined: 3/24/2015
Msg: 56
Is talking everyday too needy or clingy?
Posted: 4/16/2015 6:21:44 AM

The cheap SOB actually went into the store and took a pics of a card and sent them to her.

that's actually pretty funny and creative, if he meant it as a joke and she took it as one. I hope he followed with something a little 'special'... doesn't sound that way.

she could always take a picture of all his shit out on the lawn and send it to him.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 57
Is talking everyday too needy or clingy?
Posted: 4/16/2015 6:28:11 AM
I find it ironic that talking to a SO daily is considered a neg by some
But posting daily on POF isn't LOL
Motown - great idea!
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 58
Is talking everyday too needy or clingy?
Posted: 4/16/2015 6:43:57 AM
It depends on the people involved. I don't mind a few quick texts per day. But I don't need to have a daily phone conversation.
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 59
Is talking everyday too needy or clingy?
Posted: 4/16/2015 6:44:38 AM

you will not only want to hear that person's voice every chance you can but the anticipation will be delicious!

After a few years of marriage.....different story. :D


You see, I disagree with everyone here. Fvck substance. The importance of talking to your significant other, boyfriend/girlfriend, lover, spouse is to keep the connection vibrant and alive, not about some substance. "Yeah baby, did you pay the bills today?" "Hey honey, what do you feel about existentialism, do you think there is a God?" "Do you ever stick your finger in your belly button? What is the thing you do right afterwards? Smell it?"

No. It's about the connection. For example, some of the things that I have said to my SO on text that are raded G:
Dinner last night was awesome. I like the plans of the house addition better. I love you. I was thinking about you. Do you need me to get something for dinner? Did KID NAME do his homework? Is the arugula still fresh? I got some Mahi mani.


So, nothing fancy, but no radio silence. No QUALITY talk, just connecting.
 kj521
Joined: 8/8/2012
Msg: 60
Is talking everyday too needy or clingy?
Posted: 4/16/2015 6:46:02 AM
It actually was funny, Motown. They have been married 24 yrs.....so she is use to his sense of humor.

He pimped out her golf cart as a present. I told him he should have just paid for the card. :)
 motowncowgirl
Joined: 3/24/2015
Msg: 61
Is talking everyday too needy or clingy?
Posted: 4/16/2015 6:50:15 AM
^^^i like his sense of humor (hers too) and i'd *much* rather have a pimped out golf cart than a card (personally). i don't even play golf. i would drive it up and down the road wearing a ww1 german helmet (you know, the kind with a big scary spike?), brandishing one of those giant water cannons. terrorizing small children.

gimme.

OT, I used to live with a very nice man who would call me every day from the office. I thought WTH, didn't i just see you this morning? can't you wait? did someone fly a plane into the building? I loved him but that drove me fookin INSANE. I tried hard to play along since I knew that was his way of being affectionate. i couldn't take it. sorry I am just not one of those 'words of affirmation' people. no. not working. make it stop.
 slowitalldown
Joined: 1/25/2013
Msg: 62
Is talking everyday too needy or clingy?
Posted: 4/16/2015 8:23:05 AM
Pre cell phones and texting and email, we used to go to work and come home. I can't remember ever talking to my husband during the day unless it was some kind of emergency.

Now we are just so used to instant communication.

When dating, well of course we don't see the person every day so it's a bit different.
 ThePig0fYourDreams
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 63
Is talking everyday too needy or clingy?
Posted: 4/16/2015 8:27:35 AM

I find it ironic that talking to a SO daily is considered a neg by some
But posting daily on POF isn't LOL


There's no interrogation process or pressure to respond immediately posting here. There's nothing worse than getting an obnoxious "HELLO?!?!?!?!?!?" text for taking more than ten minutes to respond. On top of that, being expected to apologize for it, as well.

Oh, but it gets nuttier. I suggest actually SEEING each other face to face instead of farting around on phones, only to be met with "Oh, I can't. I've got things to do." Yeah, like making my life a living hell with your piece of shit cellphone.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 64
Is talking everyday too needy or clingy?
Posted: 4/16/2015 9:01:25 AM

I find it ironic that talking to a SO daily is considered a neg by some


I find it ironic that constant talking/texting all of the time, repeating the same thing over and over, since nothing new has happened in the last few hours, or the few hours before that, is considered a "must text/call immediately" motive, and almost go into cardiac arrest if a "response" (used the term loosely) isn't received within a few minutes
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 65
Is talking everyday too needy or clingy?
Posted: 4/16/2015 9:02:28 AM
^^^ who the heck does that?
I will call you on your cel right now
Hello?!?!
I dont need him to drive over to see me face to face to ask how I am- or to say pizza tonight?
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 66
view profile
History
Is talking everyday too needy or clingy?
Posted: 4/16/2015 9:06:42 AM

I find it ironic that talking to a SO daily is considered a neg by some
But posting daily on POF isn't LOL


Because posting here is not a requirement, it doesn't interrupt my day, I'm picking the time. I realize to people who like the daily or 20 times a day contact that we who don't like it must seem odd, but really, we think it just as odd to have that much contact. Everybody is different. Really a big part of it for me is I don't like the requirement, it feels like a weight knowing I have to make contact with someone no matter what or they will be complaining about it. They are unhappy, I'm unhappy, resentment on both sides is not far behind. And it is not like I'm never going to talk to this person, and I would enjoy hearing from them when it's not some set pattern that they must have. It's no big deal, just don't date people so different than yourself.
 ThePig0fYourDreams
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 67
Is talking everyday too needy or clingy?
Posted: 4/16/2015 9:11:23 AM

^^^ who the heck does that?


Cellphone addicted cuckoo birds, that's who.


I will call you on your cel right now


321-867-5309
 BelleAtlantic
Joined: 11/7/2012
Msg: 68
Is talking everyday too needy or clingy?
Posted: 4/16/2015 9:22:41 AM
I see communication as important, but not everything you want to communicate is important, lol.

That about sums it up for me. If it's something important that needs to be communicated, please go ahead and call me or text me. If it's BS about how my day is going, the "relationship" is going to end sooner or later. People who ask mundane questions are only doing so because they want to talk about their own damn day, what they are doing, etc. I don't have time for that, let's engage in some substantial conversation minus the fluff if we are to communicate.

I understand I have a different style of communication and fluff fails to capture my attention. I rather get into a conversation about the blood moon or any other rare occurrence, than the same fluff everyone talks about everyday. I've terminated many dating prospects for getting into the habit of asking about my day, what I'm doing at the moment, etc, I'm not your friend and such nuances do not produce nor enhance any current romantic interest.

It's not about being "clingy", it's more that they have nothing of substance to add through daily communication, so how about not waste my time? What is there to talk about on a daily basis? If you have to communicate daily to stay present in someone's live or feel validated, the connection is already hanging on a thread.

No, I'm not saying that it is wrong to communicate daily, I just don't see the purpose.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 69
Is talking everyday too needy or clingy?
Posted: 4/16/2015 9:26:55 AM
I must be odd then, I don't feel the need to reply immediately, text 20 times a day, or for that matter even answer my telephone or doorbell.
Maybe he is just checking to made sure the pup didnt eat me as I slept :/
 Ladyinred4755
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 70
Is talking everyday too needy or clingy?
Posted: 4/16/2015 9:47:54 AM
LOL, Dear Belle,

No, I'm not saying that it is wrong to communicate daily, I just don't see the purpose.


LOL, We only see each other on weekends, he works day shift, I work afternoons till 2 am, he calls me at work, on my half hour lunch break, and the purpose is for me to fill him in on the latest 'news', (coughs and rolls eyes) from the Forums!

This week, aside from the Forums 'news', we talked about the Titanic and Pearl Harbor. Exciting huh?

The need to communicate, when and how often, is best achieved when both parties discuss, compromise and come to an agreement. No two people have the same needs.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 71
Is talking everyday too needy or clingy?
Posted: 4/16/2015 9:51:07 AM

If it's BS about how my day is going...


I will never understand the logic behind phoning or texting someone at work and asking them how their day is going-but so many people do it, it's pretty common. What if the person is having a shitty day at work? Who in their right mind would reply from work saying: "My boss is being a real azzhole today. I feel like telling him fck off and shove the job up his azz. I can hardly wait to get out of here."
 BelleAtlantic
Joined: 11/7/2012
Msg: 72
Is talking everyday too needy or clingy?
Posted: 4/16/2015 9:54:29 AM

for me to fill him in on the latest 'news', (coughs and rolls eyes) from the Forums!

This week, aside from the Forums 'news', we talked about the Titanic and Pearl Harbor. Exciting huh?

The need to communicate, when and how often, is best achieved when both parties discuss, compromise and come to an agreement. No two people have the same needs.


Voila, there goes the purpose, lol.


"My boss is being a real azzhole today. I feel like telling him fck off and shove the job up his azz. I can hardly wait to get out of here."


I've been on the receiving end of that sh*t, even when I don't ask anyone about their day. I've unfriended/unfollowed many people when they constantly complain about their job, or they make it seem like they can't wait till 5pm. Like STFU, your work hours are the only hours in which you are of any use to the world, because I don't see you doing any useful for yourself or others outside of work, get a life. Yep, I've said it, I cannot stand listening to people complain.

Oh, you have a problem with your boyfriend? please tell me none about it, let the little bit of time we spend together be positive and uplifting, not marred with problems and nonconformity. Life is too short, don't drag people into your drama, "if you're going through hell, keep going."
 clooneystutor
Joined: 3/8/2015
Msg: 73
Is talking everyday too needy or clingy?
Posted: 4/16/2015 9:54:35 AM
Nothing is more endearing then someone texting a pic of a blurry highway sign, to prove they really are rushing to meet you.

I'm doing my best to make it there on time! I'm 3 exits away.

Darling, please keep your hands on the wheel.
 motowncowgirl
Joined: 3/24/2015
Msg: 74
Is talking everyday too needy or clingy?
Posted: 4/16/2015 10:11:21 AM

Like STFU, your work hours are the only hours in which you are of any use to the world, because I don't see you doing any useful for yourself or others outside of work, get a life.

yes ma'am! so true.
 HawkingJr
Joined: 4/16/2007
Msg: 75
view profile
History
Is talking everyday too needy or clingy?
Posted: 4/16/2015 11:30:41 AM
" His idea of being clingy is using her for what he wants without listening to her needs. He's low-hanging fruit, a useless broken bottle, and she needs to discard him. Soonest."

Not that she wasn't vicious before her most recent break-up, but ever since Eternity came back last time, her posts are immediately followed by a visit from a crime scene cleanup crew. Though she probably has a point about the OP's appearance in relation to this thread.

“Or just not into phones. Like me. I f*cking hate them with a gut-wrenching passion. I truly do.”

What are we, like half-brothers from another father? To me a phone is a tool of terrorism. I don’t know anyone who hates phones as much as I do. I will drive across the Bay to a person’s house for a simple “yes” or “no” answer before I will call him or her. I actually only call my mother once every week or two and I don’t have a bad relationship with her. She in fact probably gets the most frequent calls from me of anyone, since I work with most of my best friends and don’t normally have to call them. The only time I ever use up significant minutes on my cell is during film production or related events. I’ve gone full weeks without using it outside of such things. I’ve never logged into Facebook on it and the only app I’ve downloaded is Tinder, only because there is no desktop version of it. Only time my cell has ever died is during a weekend trip to NYC when I forgot to bring my charger, and as I was there for a film festival, yeah, I had to use the phone quite a bit. It died as I arrived at the airport on the way back.

My one real relationship involved a co-worker, therefore we never got into this “we need to call each other x amount of times” a day thing. If anything, when you work with someone you’re dating, it makes you end up almost NEVER calling them because you’ve already talked to them enough during 8-12 hours of working together. Ironically, she was a cell phone addict (even crashed her car while texting, which did not stop her from continuing to do so) and I imagine her boyfriends/husband get obsessive communication from her, as most were never co-workers, so I just got lucky with her. But it definitely was an issue with various other dates. I’ve had plenty of several hour phone conversations, most of which are grating no matter how much I want to be with the women. Because I don’t talk much, they’re almost always one-sided. With the really talkative ones, I can just leave the phone sitting on the table and wander off to do other things and not be missed by the time I get back. However, with the handful of quiet dates I’ve had... there’s almost no talking. Two quiet people = silence.

As many others have said, it’s mostly a compatibility issue. One POF woman sent me like 50 texts the first day after I sent my number (several of them saying, "Are you still there???"). That was incompatibility. Nevertheless, I do wonder, given my desperation, if I’d actually stop dating an otherwise wonderful woman who was driving me crazy with constant needy communication. Actually, what am I saying? How is she “otherwise wonderful” if there’s constant needy communication? Okay, let’s say she looks like Gisele Bundchen. I guess I can deal with 50 texts a day under those circumstances (that POF woman looked NOTHING like Gisele Bundchen).

“Pre cell phones and texting and email, we used to go to work and come home. I can't remember ever talking to my husband during the day unless it was some kind of emergency.”

That is a profound point. And it has to be mostly an adult evolution – recent kids weren’t allowed to use their cells in school (except for emergencies) while when we were kids, there were no cells. So adults of any age have taken on this impulsive behavior as adults (and from what I’ve seen, passed it on to their children -- if my ex didn't quickly respond to her parents' texts or calls, she'd get an earful when they finally did get in contact with her). Ironically, it may be employers who are breeding this behavior more than anything else. Nearly every recent job I’ve had: you had to have a cell phone, you might have to have your work email synced to that cell phone, and you were expected to answer or quickly respond to every work-related call or email you got, even after hours. Sounds a whole lot like the clingy needy relationships many of you are talking about.

On a related note: last weekend I was out with my best friend and her longtime girlfriends and I noticed they spent the majority of their time (between drinks) taking pictures and posting them on Facebook and Instagram. As these are women in their late 30s and early 40s, I finally asked them, when you guys hung out during your youth, what exactly did you do together since cell phones didn’t exist then? They all looked around at each other and then admitted they couldn’t even remember how they used to spend their time together in those days. And then went back to taking pictures and posting them.
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Is talking everyday too needy or clingy?