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 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 101
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Is talking everyday too needy or clingy?Page 5 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
That's the point, no I do not want a friend who texts me several times a day, expects an answer, and is usually texting because they are bored and don't feel like doing their job. I would be more likely to want a text from a partner than a friend and I don't want either everyday and certainly not all day long. That sort of thing drives me nuts. I don't want to be around people who just drop by, want to show up for coffee and gossip (I don't drink coffee) I am not interested in weekly or monthly social dates with friends...or boyfriends. It's not at all what I want in my life. I'm very aware that it limits my already limited list of people that I would want to date, and I'm fine with that. I'm not looking for someone that would make me cringe in the relationship, and I'm not expecting someone to change for me, I don't want a man fuming because I don't want contact everyday, I don't want to hurt someone, I'm not trying to get things my way and not respect their way...that would be a case of no reason for us to meet in the first place. It isn't just about me not changing for them, I don't want them to change for me either, I would want someone who is already compatible. Texting, calling, being together isn't the problem it's the degree, as things always are, if I'm feeling put upon, pretending I'm not isn't going to make for a good relationship. Yeah I could have a man if I'd just go along, but we'd both be miserable if we are so mismatched. Some things don't matter to a couple, some things do, it's the finding those things out and knowing when to fold and move or, or stay and be happy that you did. I'm not a person who is happier with a partner than without, unless it's a good match, I'll enjoy my solitude.
 HawkingJr
Joined: 4/16/2007
Msg: 102
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Is talking everyday too needy or clingy?
Posted: 4/17/2015 8:12:04 AM
Am I not mistaken that in the pre cell-phone era, two people actually just got together every once in a while in order to get to know each other instead of sending a bunch of texts throughout the day? Yes, sure, there were also phone calls, but even those had to be designated to certain times – it’s not like you could call each other at school and you usually couldn’t call each other at work. Usually you’d go home at night and catch up with your romantic interest, either in person or with a single phone call -- you know, if your sister wasn't already using the phone. So 50 text messages from morning to night is somehow an improvement on that? Can you really become enchanted with someone through a bunch of text messaging? Are they really on the same level as poetic 18th century love letters exchanged over the course of weeks between two people living hundreds of miles apart? Just because the technology makes it possible for a couple to be tethered day and night doesn’t necessarily make it a logical idea.

And again, per the OP, we’re talking the BEGINNING of a relationship, when two people aren’t even sure about each other yet, not years into it.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 103
Is talking everyday too needy or clingy?
Posted: 4/17/2015 8:38:58 AM

Otherwise we could all just go fvck ourselves


*Imagines the gymnastic possibilities of fvcking one's self*

OT: I have people I text (daughters, friends) for stupid reasons.
I think in a relationship, I'd like to talk everyday...just to say hello,
but I get that sometimes people are busy with work, etc.

If someone tells me my attention is overmuch...I can back off.

I guess if you're really interested in the relationship, you'll
communicate what your expectations are...preferably not by text.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 104
Is talking everyday too needy or clingy?
Posted: 4/17/2015 8:53:36 AM
With people whose whole life revolves around texting, where it's their life line to the rest of the world-what I find funny is when they get into a relationship or get close to that point, and texting is as important as seeing each other in person, and then one of them sends the other a break-up text. In a lot of cases, the recipient of the break up text freaks out, saying "Why would he/she do it by text? What a spineless SOB, f-n a-hole who didn't have the guts to tell me to my face."
Live by the sword, die by the sword. Live by the text...
 motowncowgirl
Joined: 3/24/2015
Msg: 105
Is talking everyday too needy or clingy?
Posted: 4/17/2015 1:54:28 PM
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/brain-bootcamp/200908/is-texting-making-us-stupid


Dr. Michael Abramson and associates, an epidemiologist at Monash Universtiy in Melbourne, Australia studied over 300children aged 11 to 14 and found that kids who used mobile phones performed faster on a battery of cognitive tests but they also made significantly more errors. The bottom line is that frequent use of the devices makes kids fast and sloppy.

Is it any wonder they approach their live relationships the same way?

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/media-spotlight/201312/stress-texting-and-being-social
http://digitalcommons.conncoll.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1030&context=psychhp
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 106
Is talking everyday too needy or clingy?
Posted: 4/17/2015 2:47:27 PM

fast and sloppy.


Fast ans sloppy. Makes perfect sense.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 107
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Is talking everyday too needy or clingy?
Posted: 4/17/2015 3:15:30 PM
Through out human history that stuff has been said about every single generation of kids, who of course always grab onto the latest technology and use it more than adults. It's always the ruin of mankind, the ruin of the youth, the end is coming and some god isn't going to take it any more!!! And yet here we are, still the same people, doing the same things only with better technology. I remember when the teens from the 50s where all going to bring the world to an end what with their rock 'n roll, radios and horror movie, cars and telephones, and now, they are the grumpy ole grandparents talking about teens today and how they were never like that.
 motowncowgirl
Joined: 3/24/2015
Msg: 108
Is talking everyday too needy or clingy?
Posted: 4/18/2015 4:25:18 AM

Fast ans sloppy

I see what you did there.


Through out human history that stuff has been said about every single generation of kids, who of course always grab onto the latest technology and use it more than adults. It's always the ruin of mankind

yeah that's true, but that only describes people's predictable attitudes; it doesn't say much, if anything, about what is actually going on.

people think in words. people with limited vocabularies have limited thinking power. people who habitually communicate in hacked up words and phrases typed at multitasking speed while reacting to the latest stimuli are naturally going to reinforce that kind of thought process on a daily basis with the technology they're using, and there's no way that's not going to spill over into other areas of their lives.

it's also true that I could be FOS, and all those studies.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 109
Is talking everyday too needy or clingy?
Posted: 4/18/2015 5:05:19 AM
Well Anthony Burgess made up a bunch of words - yet managed to turn out a brill piece of work.
Text speak confuses me - but I see why people use it. Try reading Miley's Instagram
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 110
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Is talking everyday too needy or clingy?
Posted: 4/18/2015 7:08:51 AM
Realistically unless someone is texting you 40 times a day, whether you are male or female, if you're into the person you would welcome the contact. When you don't, someone's clingy. Men will take that extra five minutes before a meeting in the early days to call or text whereas later in the relationship he may not because he's no longer in the love bubble and thinking about the woman all the time. That's normal, that's real life. I would imagine the graph of most relationships would have building contact, a frenetic period when contact is significant, and then as the relationship settles down the contact diminishes to some type of daily contact even when you're living together.
 _shakti_
Joined: 2/22/2014
Msg: 111
Is talking everyday too needy or clingy?
Posted: 4/18/2015 7:18:31 AM

Through out human history that stuff has been said about every single generation of kids, who of course always grab onto the latest technology and use it more than adults. It's always the ruin of mankind, the ruin of the youth, the end is coming and some god isn't going to take it any more!!! And yet here we are, still the same people, doing the same things only with better technology. I remember when the teens from the 50s where all going to bring the world to an end what with their rock 'n roll, radios and horror movie, cars and telephones, and now, they are the grumpy ole grandparents talking about teens today and how they were never like that.
Lol too true!

I think it's funny as well, how many people in the forums bemoan texting in general.. yet, how are we expressing ourselves here? Through the written word.. and we are able to get a lot across in doing so.

There are different communication styles and need for frequency regardless of the mode of communication. Though yes, that can be a compatibility issue as well. Some people don't even possess a cell phone, which I respect.. I just can't relate to it.

I personally cannot stand talking on the phone, I rarely answer it when it rings tbh. Texting feels less intrusive, whereas on the phone I can get stuck on the darned thing for hours, ugh. I hate that feeling. So when veterans around here counsel guys to 'be a man and pick up the phone', it's all a bit lost on me. I've gone from just texting to a meet before and things went just fine.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 112
Is talking everyday too needy or clingy?
Posted: 4/18/2015 8:01:18 AM
I've got a '56 Ford fourdoor--not the size of a yacht b/c it was an intermediate family car, but the trick for "three on the tree" like that, back then was to put the shifter on the left side of the steering column, screw on a "necker nob" and leave your right hand free.

She was a nut job in other ways, so "clingy" basically described her rather than one incidence. But at 18 yrs old, she was a skinny blonde attractive to other men, so at the time it was basically a nuisance to me. it was nice to be wanted :)

But then, I still say its relative.
 NoxzemaWA
Joined: 2/19/2017
Msg: 113
Is talking everyday too needy or clingy?
Posted: 7/16/2017 6:29:31 PM

if some guy I only dated once or twice started calling and texting me every day, yeah i'm out.


I agree. If it's only been a few dates, we don't need to communicate everyday. We aren't a couple or even close to that yet. I especially don't like it if they text me and I don't answer so they take it as a sign to send more texts. That's a way to ghost yourself very quickly.
 U21984
Joined: 2/17/2017
Msg: 114
Is talking everyday too needy or clingy?
Posted: 7/16/2017 7:28:08 PM
LOL GTOMustang talking about girls that.....HE DID NOT GET from...... FORTY years ago.

Son, you are the BIGGEST.

And I think you know what I mean.

hahah
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 115
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Is talking everyday too needy or clingy?
Posted: 7/17/2017 6:48:56 AM

LOL GTOMustang talking about girls that.....HE DID NOT GET from...... FORTY years ago.


He's not that old. He's 5 years younger than me.
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 116
Is talking everyday too needy or clingy?
Posted: 7/17/2017 8:06:44 AM
Cooldog, are you forgetting how you thought when you were in your 20s ?

Back then , 5 years younger than how old you are NOW was ANCIENT !


But , in all fairness, once you get to our age I think denial is common. I often look at people my own age and think of them as older as if I'm stuck in my 20s.

Mirrors.....I frikken hate em
 U21984
Joined: 2/17/2017
Msg: 117
Is talking everyday too needy or clingy?
Posted: 7/17/2017 9:07:09 AM
=They said they needed their "space" and I was not giving it to them.=

Let me translate that for you.

They said they needed you to FILL and perhaps STRETCH their "space" and you were not giving it to them.

hahah
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 118
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Is talking everyday too needy or clingy?
Posted: 7/18/2017 9:51:19 AM
People are different......... some like to text or talk everyday, some people live together. Others talk as little as once a week on a date. Both will work. It's just a matter of what's right for you.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 119
oh yeah, i'm the biggest alright
Posted: 7/18/2017 10:03:39 AM
geez, I talked more about the car than my first gf, and got called "son"...and I found the silliness of it amusing :) I must be old, to laugh at simple things in life. But I am that age where I can look at the actions of a young buck, and laugh at the attempt at virility.

Yep, every time some young cutie serving dinner calls me "sir", I have to remember I do look old to "those meddling kids". reminds me that when my father was this age, and had the energy levels I have now...he probably wondered WTH happened, too. No wonder he didn't want to join me on roller coaster rides, when did vertigo replace metabolism and who the hell thought that was a great idea for humanity?

too bad there aren't more 20 yr old bald men. Maybe that would help old pharts like me look younger :)
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 120
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oh yeah, i'm the biggest alright
Posted: 7/18/2017 12:06:49 PM

too bad there aren't more 20 yr old bald men.


- Did you call me?! Here I am!
 siisaa
Joined: 8/6/2017
Msg: 121
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Is talking everyday too needy or clingy?
Posted: 4/30/2018 6:42:44 PM
it's only needy, clingy, "annoying", "irritating", etc. if you're NOT feeling the person. if there's a mutual attraction/interest, then it can be great!
 julystorm7
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 122
Is talking everyday too needy or clingy?
Posted: 5/10/2018 12:30:58 PM
Generally I have learned that if someone actually likes you and wants to talk to you they will text you often and it doesn't seem to be an issue.

It's such a difficult thing to gage because most people I know always have their phones on them so you know that they are either purposely ignoring your texts or if you get their text and you don't feel like texting back right away, you are still aware that they know you likely saw the text and aren't replying. The only time you seem to be safe is if you are at work and they know you are at work then you have an excuse.

I hate hate hate texting because it sure plays with your anxieties and you worry so much about appearing too clingy or too distant. I liked a guy a while back but when I texted him he wouldn't get back to me for a couple days and it made me feel so insecure. Likewise, I've had guys texting me who I wasn't 100% into and I'd delay getting back to them for longer and longer periods until they likely would read that I wasn't too interested anymore.

I think the best thing would be just to say you aren't into texting, you'd rather just talk on the phone every so often, maybe every couple of days. Definitely not every day although I have been in situations where I was talking on the phone to someone every night. This is where putting boundaries in place is important for each person to give each other space to live their lives independent but have time to talk and build a relationship. But when you are first starting to talk or see someone this is difficult to talk about because you don't want to come across as distant or too controlling.
 reverendswine
Joined: 4/14/2018
Msg: 123
Is talking everyday too needy or clingy?
Posted: 5/10/2018 5:56:50 PM
I don't care how hot she is or how much we seem to have in common, I'm not playing the "let's get to know each other electronically" game. The interaction will consist only of arranging when we'll see each other again. The only kind of people this "joined at the hip from the very get-go" crap works for is the desperate. If it's two people with very little going on in their lives, it's a perfect match. Anyone else? Forget about it.
 playingindirt
Joined: 2/16/2012
Msg: 124
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Is talking everyday too needy or clingy?
Posted: 5/24/2018 7:28:06 AM
I think it depends on what a persons needs are and what kind of relationship they have.

I like daily interaction with my man when I'm in a relationship. making him coffee in the mornings and all little moments that make life sweet. I want someone that enjoys my company as well as I enjoy his.
but I don't mean be under my nose or his every minute of the day. that would drive me nuts. lol
I also like knowing I can reach him anytime and he can reach me. that doesn't mean I want to get ahold of him. I just like knowing I can IF I want to.
I don't like a lot of attention. I'm an introvert that deals with things better with a little time to myself. I'm creative and it helps me think. I need that time in the other room or in the yard. he's not off limits to it but its appreciated when I can do my think time.

my sister is the opposite. her and her husband are pukingly up in each others noses all the time. they like that and have been doing that for over 30 years.
 CBGB77
Joined: 12/15/2017
Msg: 125
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Is talking everyday too needy or clingy?
Posted: 5/24/2018 8:21:00 AM
I talk to my girlfriend everyday by IM.It is easier than texting.You can just send a sticker or a gif instead of typing a long message into your phone.
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