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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > "I don't NEED a man! I WANT a man!!"      Home login  
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 Grl_next_door
Joined: 6/28/2014
Msg: 51
I don't NEED a man! I WANT a man!!Page 3 of 17    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17)
I have a great deal of respect and affection for the world of men.

I can do a lot of things that are not gender specific,...drive a big old tractor, shovel snow, top up my fuel levels, this city girl has even learned to pump gas. But I have never learned to change a tire, and I know I could never deal with a mouse in my house. Or know what to do if I found my dog had died...

I've never had to change a tire. Bless the lovely random gentlemen who have gone out of their way to help this damsel when she was in distress. Probably one for every decade of my adult life.

There are still gentlemen around, even those that are a little worn around the edges but are happy to help a lady with her pallet of water at the supermarket, just because they were raised that way... They're the guys you may or may not swoon over, but their good will and manliness is much appreciated.
I'd bake you all a pie and deliver it to your door, if I could ...you know who you are :)
 ThePig0fYourDreams
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 52
I don't NEED a man! I WANT a man!!
Posted: 4/20/2015 7:25:29 PM
Good points, IL_Capitano.

I was inspired to make this thread after a somewhat heated exchange with a female friend of mine on Facebook. Her post was about this very topic, and she's one of those people who just becomes enraged over the idea of someone DARING to disagree with or challenge her.

I couldn't resist. (go figure)

Anyway, I asked her WHY she wanted a man, and she gave me a long winded response. I replied with "well, you're going to NEED a man for all of that, right??"

She wasn't amused.

But I was. I had a much needed laugh.

Or was it wanted??
 IL_Capitano
Joined: 11/23/2012
Msg: 53
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History
I don't NEED a man! I WANT a man!!
Posted: 4/20/2015 8:29:08 PM
^^^ I also get a kick out of how, when women make a list of attributes she is looking for in a man, she will list all sorts of NEEDS in what is required, while not NEEDING the whole guy.....

 _shakti_
Joined: 2/22/2014
Msg: 54
I don't NEED a man! I WANT a man!!
Posted: 4/20/2015 10:06:32 PM
You were smart to make your first thread not a personal one, lol

Maybe women can change that NEED/WANT thing into, "I'd really like to find a man I value" or something like that. I don't like being lumped in with all the unwanted shoes she has in her closet.
Hilarious post, and it made some good points too.

To me this is kinda like how people call themselves spiritual but not religious.. it's choosing a different word in order to distance themselves from the negative connotations of the previous one.

And it seems that 'needing a man' has gotten all wrapped up with dependency and the traditional concept of marriage where the woman did need a man to pay the bills and take care of her. Some people still enjoy that setup, and power to them.. but plenty do not. I think that's what many women who say this are wanting to get across, that they can stand on their own two feet and don't need a man in a traditional/financial sense.

But the thread title isn't a sentiment that even needs to be openly expressed.. some women put that across without ever having to say a word.
 norwegianguy123
Joined: 10/27/2014
Msg: 55
I don't NEED a man! I WANT a man!!
Posted: 4/20/2015 10:29:40 PM

To me this is kinda like how people call themselves spiritual but not religious.. it's choosing a different word in order to distance themselves from the negative connotations of the previous one.

I like the analogy -- I agree. It's to avoid sounding needy and dependent...

I think that's what many women who say this are wanting to get across, that they can stand on their own two feet and don't need a man in a traditional/financial sense.

I don't think a Want (that actually IS a need) isn't due to financial reasons -- although that'll be an influencing factor for many women, sure. But with both men & women, it's that they feel empty -- a loss. They feel a void at the end of the day. To quench that thirst, they do Need someone, hence they Want someone. IMO, it's a weakness not a strength -- to have that "insert here" mentality to fill that void. Kind of like the concept of being in love with being in love [insert other person here; "yeah, you'll do..."].
 _shakti_
Joined: 2/22/2014
Msg: 56
I don't NEED a man! I WANT a man!!
Posted: 4/20/2015 10:53:59 PM

insert other person here; "yeah, you'll do..."
Because anyone would be able to fill the need/void. I could never be in a scenario like that, it disgusts me.

I think there's a difference between admitting that you have needs, and of being needy/desperate to get them met. Sure, you can word a sentence to make that distinction, but how will you really know until you're in it anyway?
 norwegianguy123
Joined: 10/27/2014
Msg: 57
I don't NEED a man! I WANT a man!!
Posted: 4/20/2015 11:26:34 PM

Because anyone would be able to fill the need/void. I could never be in a scenario like that, it disgusts me.

Most people who are, don't realize it. Much like those who emphasize Want rather than Need, when... well, they do Need. They're just going with how they feel... which is never a guaranteed good thing. But never a guaranteed bad thing either. Being like that is unfortunate, though.

I think there's a difference between admitting that you have needs, and of being needy/desperate to get them met.

Example: "Man... Bob really needs a woman in his life," while Bob doesn't have any desire to bring a woman into his life. There's a difference there. He allegedly needs it, but he has no emotional need for it. Kind of like a guy needing to see a dentist, due to one of his molars killing him. But he has no desire to get that met... or he only has a half-a$$ desire to that's on the back-burner.

But that's a different angle/dimension of need, hence one can be big, one can be small. It can go the opposite route, too. When someone's just out of a relationship, they can have a strong desire to find someone, when they don't need to be girl hunting, because they are Not emotionally ready for it.

For me, I'll have a desire/want/need to get involved in the dating scene if not been in it for a while. IF/WHEN something ends up formulating with a particular gal, I'll want to be dating Her. And If/When that develops positively, I'll want to be in a Relationship with Her, etc. I don't have a Void not being in a Relationship. But I will have a void, given some time, not being involved in the dating scene when single. I think that's the difference.

What people get criticism for is:
(a) Having no desire/want/need to even get involved with the opposite sex (dating scene)

(b) Having a desire/want/need to have an [imaginary] man/woman in their life (relationship), in and of itself... where they'll always feel a void not having a Partner.
 Eternityboreme
Joined: 3/18/2015
Msg: 58
I don't NEED a man! I WANT a man!!
Posted: 4/21/2015 3:39:33 AM

I NEED a woman because I WANT her to get me a beer when the hockey game starts.


If he invested in a courtship with me without whining about paying for coffee and insist on "going dutch," I'll be more than happy to not only bring him his beer when the game starts, his home-cooked appetizers and dinner, too.
 clooneystutor
Joined: 3/8/2015
Msg: 59
I don't NEED a man! I WANT a man!!
Posted: 4/21/2015 4:02:09 AM


Men are so much more than just providers and protectors.


Isn't this what really matters the most?

And what if this is all you know how to do?

There's a third piece missing and it's the reason most marriages fail, excluding infidelity, abuse and violence.
 ThePig0fYourDreams
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 60
I don't NEED a man! I WANT a man!!
Posted: 4/21/2015 5:52:43 AM

You need to eat to survive


Yes, we need to eat to survive, but who says "need" only pertains to survival??
 motowncowgirl
Joined: 3/24/2015
Msg: 61
I don't NEED a man! I WANT a man!!
Posted: 4/21/2015 6:17:53 AM

I'm with you, OP. I have no interest in being some accessory to a woman's life, which is how I think many women think of their men.

ironically, when women are dumb enough to say 'I don't NEED a man I WANT a man', what they're really trying to do in their own inept way is to meet not only your wants but your needs at least halfway. because what women hear from many men is that men are looking for something that's more like an accessory and less like something where they'd have to take on the burdens and expectations of a relationship, because that would be inconvenient but you wouldn't turn down sex.
 Hearton64
Joined: 12/18/2012
Msg: 62
I don't NEED a man! I WANT a man!!
Posted: 4/21/2015 6:27:08 AM
I don't believe need only applies to survival.

I think the statement is just a defense mechanism based
in fear that IF you admit to needing someone that puts you
in a vulnerable place but the thing is, love ONLY forms within
the realm of trust and vulnerability.

So without letting your guards down and opening your scared
heart you can just forget about love.

I NEED to be able to trust,rely upon and depend on someone I'm in
a relationship with and since I'm mostly hetero would that equate to
needing a man?

I pay all my own bills (and some of his)so I don't need a man for money
I can get myself off so I don't need a man for sex.
I can handle all the day to day chores and responsibilities of my life
so I don't need a man for that either.

But I am a social being who NEEDS LOVE to exist happily.

And I enjoy being needed and loved to boot!

Win/ win!

It's ok to need someone on many levels but it's scary to
when you've been hurt.


http://www.examiner.com/article/i-don-t-need-a-man-what-did-she-really-mean
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 63
I don't NEED a man! I WANT a man!!
Posted: 4/21/2015 6:35:58 AM
I wonder how many women say "I don't need a man" when they go on a date and the wait staff drops off the bill for the meals and drinks. How many women would be interested in a guy who says he doesn't need a woman, but it would be a nice convenience?
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 64
I don't NEED a man! I WANT a man!!
Posted: 4/21/2015 6:54:28 AM
I don't get all the spider hate? Spiders are good...they eat bugs that
aren't good! I catch them and put them outside, unless it's winter
then I lock them in the basement...and catch them again later.

OT: I forgot to say that sometimes it's easy for me to think I don't
need a man when I see some of the rubble available out there...I think
GADS! I'd rather be alone.

Then you see someone really nice or you see a nice couple and you think....
I want one of those.

As much as a find some of the people on the forums a bit of a ewwwwwwwwbie...
there are some here that give you hope...so yeah...I want one of them.
 kj521
Joined: 8/8/2012
Msg: 65
I don't NEED a man! I WANT a man!!
Posted: 4/21/2015 6:56:54 AM
Well... Mr. Maleman....

I've already established my need so I can't play your what ifs.

But I will say...I don't need A man....I need THE man!

Now.....Has anybody seen him? I think he went that way....but....I'm not sure.
I lost sight of him when I got sidetracked in the theme song thread.
Y'all were posting such good music...I got distracted!

Ok....if happen to see that funny, sweet and handsome man....could you tell him I am looking for him? Thanks! :)
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 66
I don't NEED a man! I WANT a man!!
Posted: 4/21/2015 7:05:28 AM

I've never understood what women have against spiders. I think they're cute.



ME: There's a spider on the wall, do you want me to kill it.

HER: What type of spider?

ME: I don't know. It's big, it's black and hairy.

HER: Let me see. Oh, that's a jumping spider. They like to jump.

ME: Really. You want me to kill it. I don't want it jumping on anyone. What if it bites.

HER: They really don't bite, and they eat bugs. Ants, mosquitoes, fruit flies.

Me: I can still kill it, if you want me to.

HER: Nah, let it be.

ME: I guess you don't need me anymore. Since you don't want me to kill the spider. Spider! Go do your job, eat some bugs!!
 ThePig0fYourDreams
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 67
I don't NEED a man! I WANT a man!!
Posted: 4/21/2015 7:16:37 AM



I do have friends that can´t function unless they have a boyfriend. Things start getting pearshaped with one, and they are already looking for his replacement. And if the replacement doesn´t materialise soon enough this time in between is sheer horror. They do have family and friends, so it is not the fear of being "lonely", it is a different type of "loneliness" they fear. I have no idea what it is because I´ve lived on my own all my life bar 3 years and have only been on two long relationships for 15 years, the rest of my life being on my own, and very happy, never feeling lonely. And I have two cats and a dog, if anything I feel overcrowded sometimes ;-).


How old are these friends? Perhaps they have a hard time going without a boyfriend too long because they feel "the clock" is ticking, and their appeal is diminishing.

Oh, and yes....that is indeed a great picture, Boo. Vibrant and colorful, topped off with a great smile.
 Hearton64
Joined: 12/18/2012
Msg: 68
I don't NEED a man! I WANT a man!!
Posted: 4/21/2015 7:33:16 AM

Ok....if happen to see that funny, sweet and handsome man....
could you tell him I am looking for him? Thanks! :)


Sorry he's taken, as I needed him and you only wanted him. : P
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 6/22/2012
Msg: 69
I don't NEED a man! I WANT a man!!
Posted: 4/21/2015 7:54:35 AM
I grew up in a rural area with very little money and was raised on milk made from powder mix and have never owned a pair of $60 jeans my entire life. Now that I live in an urban suburb I'm constantly confronted by what I coin as 'Urban Princesses' who really have no idea how 'poor' a person can truly be. Our perspectives for 'wants' and 'needs' are each colored individually by our own experiences, and unfortunately being able to see life through another's eyes is a skill many people lack - or will NEVER have.

I loathe the saying, "Never make someone a priority who treats you like an option" or similar because it is over-used by too many whiny people who really don't give a damn what other people think - they just want attention and make people to see THEIR point of view. The funny part is that so many people use the term now they actually look for other people who 'feel' the same way, even though they have no clue what the other person considers an 'option'.

I've been divorced for five years now. I live on my own with no kids or pets or even plants. I'm still here, alive and well. Having a companion is not something I 'Need' at this time. I'm not an invalid or incapacitated in any way. Companionship is a 'WANT' - no matter how strong the desire, it's still an 'option' to have a companion. For many - probably most if not all the people in here - it's the same situation. People WANT to FEEL 'Needed' - but that's not the same thing.

What I'm amazed at is how few women want to be treated as a true equal. Women never want to be truly treated like 'one of the guys', even when they claim they do in their profiles. How many girlfriends call themselves 'D1ckhead' or 'Dumbazz' or 'Wide Load' or 'Landfill'? Being held as the 'feminine', the Desired One - always trumps any other type of social connection. If you can't make them feel desired, you might as well be their limousine driver for all they will care.
 kj521
Joined: 8/8/2012
Msg: 70
I don't NEED a man! I WANT a man!!
Posted: 4/21/2015 7:58:14 AM
Wait....wait....wait.....a minute...Ms. Hearton!

Does that make you or I....Jolene? ;)
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 71
I don't NEED a man! I WANT a man!!
Posted: 4/21/2015 8:15:15 AM

What I'm amazed at is how few women want to be treated as a true equal. Women never want to be truly treated like 'one of the guys', even when they claim they do in their profiles. How many girlfriends call themselves 'D1ckhead' or 'Dumbazz' or 'Wide Load' or 'Landfill'? Being held as the 'feminine', the Desired One - always trumps any other type of social connection. If you can't make them feel desired, you might as well be their limousine driver for all they will care.


I'm not sure what "true equal" means? Girls, when among their girlfriends, do joke about themselves, just as men
do. But I'm pretty sure no one on either side wants to be called wide load or landfill by someone they're in a
relationship with. And don't both parties want to feel desired?

In a relationship, I do want to be the "feminine" one...but that doesn't mean I'm not willing to do my share to keep
a relationship going.

What is a "true equal" please?
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 72
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History
I don't NEED a man! I WANT a man!!
Posted: 4/21/2015 8:18:40 AM
I want and need a lady like this!!!


"Never My Love" by The 5th Dimension (1971)

Lead vocal by Marilyn McCoo




You asked me if 
There'll come a time when I grow tired of you.
Never my love,
Never my love.

You wonder if 
This heart of mine will lose it's desire for you.
Never my love (never my love),
Never my love.

What makes you think love will end,
When you know that my whole life depends
On you.

(Never my love.)
(Never my love.)

You say you fear
I'll change my mind and I won't require your youth.
Never my love,
No, never, never my love.

Now how can you think love will end,
When I've asked you to spend your whole life 
With me (with me).

(Never my love.)
(Never my love.)
(Never my love.)
(Never my love.)
(Never my love.)

I'll leave you never my love.
Oh, believe me, baby.
I want you forever and ever my love.
I want to be




"Never My Love" on YouTube
https://youtu.be/t3CRjf0h5gQ
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 73
I don't NEED a man! I WANT a man!!
Posted: 4/21/2015 8:22:41 AM
Ack...it wouldn't let me edit.

OMG...powdered milk on cornflakes, sitting on the floor eating in the dark...I still
gag when thinking on it. I feel your pain Mr. Danimal.

And thank you to Ms Vicki and Mr. Pig for the kind compliments! :o)
 _shakti_
Joined: 2/22/2014
Msg: 74
I don't NEED a man! I WANT a man!!
Posted: 4/21/2015 8:33:33 AM

I do have friends that can´t function unless they have a boyfriend. Things start getting pearshaped with one, and they are already looking for his replacement. And if the replacement doesn´t materialise soon enough this time in between is sheer horror. They do have family and friends, so it is not the fear of being "lonely", it is a different type of "loneliness" they fear.
Yeah, I have those friends too. With one in particular (4 years older, though she lies about it), each time she begins dating someone, he is the soulmate she has always longed for. How perfect he is! Her every Fb status is devoted to him and the amazing times they have. And then.. it's on to the next one.

Some guys refuse to enter a relationship, because they prefer getting their NEEDS met from a variety of women and no strings attached. That's pretty much the nonverbal equivalent of- I don't NEED a woman! I WANT a woman! They just don't say as much. In fact, many times they act as though they do want more in order to get said wants/needs of the moment met.

I've never understood the big distinction tbh. Like when my one bf asked if I needed him.. why ask? I was with him, wasn't I? I don't get how that isn't enough. With some men it's like they need to have me all beholden to them somehow in order to feel secure.

This is a small example, but still very telling and one I'll never forget. My computer broke down once and I kept trying to fix it myself to no avail. My bf at the time fixed it when I was busy with the kids, I was sooo happy! I asked how he had done it? So that I could fix it if need be in the future. He smiled all coyly and said- 'I don't think we are far enough into the relationship yet for me to be able to tell you that'.

 motowncowgirl
Joined: 3/24/2015
Msg: 75
I don't NEED a man! I WANT a man!!
Posted: 4/21/2015 8:36:34 AM

Companionship is a 'WANT' - no matter how strong the desire, it's still an 'option' to have a companion. For many - probably most if not all the people in here - it's the same situation. People WANT to FEEL 'Needed' - but that's not the same thing.

good one. that seems like pretty much this entire thread in a nutshell.


How many girlfriends call themselves 'D1ckhead' or 'Dumbazz' or 'Wide Load' or 'Landfill'?

i'm pretty sure that's not what women envisioned when they want 'true equality'. women don't want to BE men. do you think the civil rights movement really meant that black people wanted to BE white?
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