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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > "I don't NEED a man! I WANT a man!!"      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 6/22/2012
Msg: 176
I don't NEED a man! I WANT a man!!Page 8 of 17    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17)
Boy this thread has really jumped the tracks. It's more like a POF singles mixer now. I keep looking around for the bartender...

Getting back to Pig's OP...

I believe there's an element of need for men, as well, it's just that I've simply never heard a man utter these words in reference to women.

"I really need to get laid," is a common one for men to say.

Pretty much defines the prehistoric drives in each of us. You could call them 'needs' I suppose. Men look to expand the species by breeding, women look to preserve the species by finding a protector. Our higher reasoning makes up all the complications within those two basic "needs".
 BelleAtlantic
Joined: 11/7/2012
Msg: 177
I don't NEED a man! I WANT a man!!
Posted: 4/23/2015 6:45:56 AM
Oh, that other thing, ok.

I'm gonna take your word for it, for I don't have the heart to see children suffer (on purpose).
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 178
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I don't NEED a man! I WANT a man!!
Posted: 4/23/2015 7:05:31 AM
To me its clear that from the point of view of the species, men and women are driven to bind, at least briefly. Its been said many times that nobody dies from a lack of sex, however, there are loads of benefits to settling down with a more or less long term partner. Of course there are always ways of compensating for the lack of a steady partner, but let's face it, they all have risks that are at least equal to those involved in having a partner, and they are generally less convenient and more expensive.

Its completely vacuous to say you don't "need" a partner. Of course nobody actually does "need" one, however, we are all driven to it at some level by the biology and the labour of the single life. It takes both courage and determination to live alone. Its just so much easier to not live that way.
 HawkingJr
Joined: 4/16/2007
Msg: 179
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I don't NEED a man! I WANT a man!!
Posted: 4/23/2015 7:52:11 AM
Good post, rearguard.

“But Mr Pig is hot. Frankly I find you all sexy and am at a loss why those are are single still are.”

I think it’s pretty obvious why Pig is still single: he’s too much like me. Doesn’t drink, hates phones, lives in central Florida. Those are the kisses of death.
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 180
I don't NEED a man! I WANT a man!!
Posted: 4/23/2015 8:06:29 AM

I think it’s pretty obvious why Pig is still single: he’s too much like me. Doesn’t drink, hates phones, lives in central Florida. Those are the kisses of death.


That it!!

Yet look at Clooney, he drinks wine. And gets all the ladies.

So guys, learn to drink the wine. And if you don't, get some Egyptian Sorel tea. It looks bright red like wine, and it has a calming effect that lowers your blood pressure, has vitamin C and a ton of anti oxidants. So now you can have a cool non alcoholic drink and get the ladies like Clooney does.

Hehehehe.
 clooneystutor
Joined: 3/8/2015
Msg: 181
I don't NEED a man! I WANT a man!!
Posted: 4/23/2015 8:18:54 AM
Somewhat miffed this morning:(

I bought my weekly case of Sauvignon Blanc last night. I usually pick up the case on the way out.

But no...this pretty young cashier got it for me and put in my basket. How kind!

Got home and opened a box of White Zinfandel. WTF? Liquid Lollipops. Tried to drink a few glasses but couldn't get past that lollipop taste to get my buzz on.

Should've returned the unopened box to that hottie at the register. Bummer.

I'm gonna send 11 bottles of liquid lollipop to.....?
 ThePig0fYourDreams
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 182
I don't NEED a man! I WANT a man!!
Posted: 4/23/2015 8:24:34 AM


I think it’s pretty obvious why Pig is still single: he’s too much like me. Doesn’t drink, hates phones, lives in central Florida. Those are the kisses of death.


No offense, Hawkerdude, but I am the complete antithesis of you. You and I being non-drinkers and hating phones are very minor parallels. Furthermore, I'm single, not dateless. At this very moment, I'm not looking for a relationship (which could change at any moment), either, so none of what you mentioned is really an obstacle.

As for Central Florida, I have my share of complaints about it, but the positives outweigh the negatives. You and I have it infinitely better than those who live in "one horse towns" in terms of population.

Getting back to the topic, though. In conclusion, I think if we slice and dice it enough, "want" and "need" can almost be synonymous, and if we took ten women and asked them what their "I don't need a man, I WANT a man" headline means to them, we would probably have varying responses.
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 183
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I don't NEED a man! I WANT a man!!
Posted: 4/23/2015 8:43:41 AM

I said European because I did recall it was somewhere in that part of the world. I had to look it up to find out it's Romania. It has absolutely nothing to do with me trying to make Europeans seen as a cross between count dracula and a medieval witch. I was talking about an orphanage of neglected children. It could be anywhere and as you pointed out, some exist in Russia and China. Wouldn't be surprising if it exist in other parts of the world too.



Well technically Romania is in Europe. To say it isn't would be like USA saying Canada isn't part of North America. Pretty wrong to exclude European countries from being called European if they aren't in EU...Romania is btw in EU these days . And imho is more backwards than Russia or Ukraine even. Bulgaria as well. I think those 2 countries have become more corrupt since joining the EU and leaving the USSR sphere of influence.

Romania is even very interesting because it is the only country with a Latin language and culture in Eastern Europe due to being a Republic of the Roman empire where the legions settled after the fall of the Western Roman Empire. I can speak to them because their language is similar to Italian and I can speak to the Slavic Romanians in Russian.

As for Orphans, Russia I know has forbid Americans from adopting any because of their claims that Americans have abused some of the children. Canada might still be good to go!

Last I check Russia( referred to some as the Third Rome) was part of Europe, as well as part of Asia, a true Eurasian nation, but the majority of the population lives in the European part which is west of the Ural mountains and they consider themselves 'European blooded'. Although many have Mongol blood, same as Ukrainians and Belorussians because of Mongol occupation and the forced breakup of Kievan Rus.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 184
I don't NEED an arguement! I WANT an arguement!!
Posted: 4/23/2015 8:53:45 AM
Yeah, how is it that a woman awknowledging the physical beauty of another woman is hot, but in terms of a guy doing it...

there are some fellows who I wouldn't mind bumping into someplace for a BS session. See if they really are in person, the person they are online. the last website I was at I met 40 people F2F and some where just like their online persona, and others I didn't recognize. but then, maybe I read into their posting styles that they were one type of person, when they were really another but there was no body language to read.

and yes, some Europeans really prefer the clarification of "Eastern Europe". Like some Yankee snobs who think those "suth'rnrs" shouldn't be confused with the rest of America, or MidWesterns who think they are the real America, not "Them libs". heck for a while, even the Germans weren't thrilled to be lumped in with their East German brethren.
 _shakti_
Joined: 2/22/2014
Msg: 185
I don't NEED a man! I WANT a man!!
Posted: 4/23/2015 9:02:50 AM

Uuuuuh, Shakti?? What's the code for the vomiting smiley icon??
:)

I get asked the same questions, get taken out to eat, drink, play, and I can tell the majority are doing so to amuse me, to appease me because they think this is what I want
I suppose there is no other way to determine compatibility, but personally I'd rather eliminate at the messaging stage. If they bore me in type, I already know what it would be like in person.

What I often end up with, are guys who project some sort of fantasy on me. They don't even seem to want to get to know me.. why would they? It might ruin the little fantasy they have going on in their head.

For example, when they would ask me out and I would suggest going out the next weekend, they seemed at a loss as to how I would fill up my week all by my lonesome.
Haha I know! Or they seem miffed that you aren't wanting to glom all over them in your every waking hour. And many times it's to help them get over their last relationship that they aren't over. If they spend some time alone they might have to actually deal with the emotions!!!!! The horror. Better find a girl, and quick!

I just realized that I do have something about want/need in my profile..

"I don't have a huge list of requirements, because sometimes you've no idea what you truly want or need until it's staring you in the face"
 Hearton64
Joined: 12/18/2012
Msg: 186
I don't NEED an arguement! I WANT an arguement!!
Posted: 4/23/2015 9:03:15 AM

Yeah, how is it that a woman awknowledging
the physical beauty of another woman is hot,
but in terms of a guy doing it...


It's just a double standard rooted in men's fear of being
seen as gay for admitting another man is hot.
I actually wouldn't have any problem
with a man being honest enough to admit he found
another guy sexy or handsome.

But then again I dig Gay and Bi men.
And know few heteros have the guts to risk it.

A "BS session"as in butt smacking or boner sucking?

Hahahaha.... Can I watch?
 clooneystutor
Joined: 3/8/2015
Msg: 187
I don't NEED an arguement! I WANT an arguement!!
Posted: 4/23/2015 9:12:33 AM


"I don't have a huge list of requirements, because sometimes you've no idea what you truly want or need until it's staring you in the face"


Very true, which is why I take the intent on a profile with a grain of salt.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 188
I don't NEED an arguement! I WANT an arguement!!
Posted: 4/23/2015 9:13:28 AM
nawww...as in, chewin' the fat. bullshh1ttin' around. Some of the fellows here can give a good intellectual argument or really pull off some good "wiseass". They might be fun for an evening out of just sittin' in a restaurant or in an Adirondack chair on a sunlit porch, talkin a sunday afternoon away. I guess that makes me a sapiophile (sic) if i'm not sexually attracted to someone.
 _shakti_
Joined: 2/22/2014
Msg: 189
I don't NEED an arguement! I WANT an arguement!!
Posted: 4/23/2015 9:15:18 AM

Very true, which is why I take the intent on a profile with a grain of salt.
I like the irony on that! lol.
 Hearton64
Joined: 12/18/2012
Msg: 190
I don't NEED an arguement! I WANT an arguement!!
Posted: 4/23/2015 9:21:45 AM
Sapiophile (noun) means someone who is sexually attracted to intelligent people

Had to look that one up.

And no I guess that means you aren't that.

I thought your point was that women can express
attraction to other women but men can't.

And no ,I don't want or need an argument.

Just trying to be funny. : /

Guess you didn't see the humor
as gawd forbid you would admit to finding a man attractive.

Ohhh the perks of being a woman. ; )
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 191
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I don't NEED an arguement! I WANT an arguement!!
Posted: 4/23/2015 9:34:25 AM

and yes, some Europeans really prefer the clarification of "Eastern Europe". Like some Yankee snobs who think those "suth'rnrs" shouldn't be confused with the rest of America, or MidWesterns who think they are the real America, not "Them libs". heck for a while, even the Germans weren't thrilled to be lumped in with their East German brethren.


Or how NYC residents look at the rest of USA as a bunch of rednecks. ;)(I think Sarah Jessica Parker mentioned that on her show once).

Here anyone who doesn't live within 100 feet of a Starbucks, Dunkin Donuts or Mc Donald's fits the bill!
 clooneystutor
Joined: 3/8/2015
Msg: 192
I don't NEED an arguement! I WANT an arguement!!
Posted: 4/23/2015 9:36:45 AM


"I don't have a huge list of requirements, because sometimes you've no idea what you truly want or need until it's staring you in the face"


More common is the opposite..

You fvkcing know immediately that this thing ain't taking off in any shape or manner. Exit right, stage left!

Like the opposite of Deja Vu. Vuja De. That feeling you've never there before - George Carlin

I've always thought dating is like a plane taking off. If there's a mechanical problem? You're gonna find out pronto.



Ohhh the perks of being a woman. ; )


And I can pee standing up :)
 ThePig0fYourDreams
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 193
I don't NEED an arguement! I WANT an arguement!!
Posted: 4/23/2015 9:56:01 AM


It's just a double standard rooted in men's fear of being
seen as gay for admitting another man is hot.


While I would never use the word "hot" to describe another man (it kind of implies sexual desire to me) I'm perfectly able to acknowledge whether another guy is "attractive" per se and express it. It doesn't mean I want his dong or want him coming near mine. I would probably say something along the lines of "he's a good looking guy, I can see why women might like him."

However, there are some famous guys out there that a lot of women seem to like that leave me saying to myself "what the HELL are they thinking??!"
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 194
I don't NEED an arguement! I WANT an arguement!!
Posted: 4/23/2015 10:15:03 AM

It's just a double standard rooted in men's fear of being
seen as gay for admitting another man is hot.


That's why if a guy goes to a men's clothing store with a woman and tries on a pair of slacks, he never says to the woman: "Does this make me look fat?"
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 6/22/2012
Msg: 195
I don't NEED an arguement! I WANT an arguement!!
Posted: 4/23/2015 10:28:23 AM

Sapiophile (noun) means someone who is sexually attracted to intelligent people

The few ladies I know who advertise this are insecure people who want a guy to make THEM feel like a genius, which is nowhere near the correct use of the term, but that's far from the first time someone has turned a term radically to state something in their profile.


While I would never use the word "hot" to describe another man (it kind of implies sexual desire to me) I'm perfectly able to acknowledge whether another guy is "attractive" per se and express it

Most people that are secure enough in their sexuality and know their friends have no issue being comical about attraction and don't worry stuff will be taken out of context. What I find funny is some gay guys are always clamoring to be the MOST outspoken of the group, almost to a comical degree. It you cry out, "You look HOT", before they do, they actually get hurt for 'stealing their thunder'. I've seen several women always trying to out-do each other for attention the same way - and alcohol seems to enhance that BIG time.
 HawkingJr
Joined: 4/16/2007
Msg: 196
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I don't NEED a man! I WANT a man!!
Posted: 4/23/2015 10:39:29 AM
“No offense, Hawkerdude, but I am the complete antithesis of you. You and I being non-drinkers and hating phones are very minor parallels. Furthermore, I'm single, not dateless.”

You see, this is exactly why I never try to do any male bonding and have only female best friends.

“I suppose there is no other way to determine compatibility, but personally I'd rather eliminate at the messaging stage. If they bore me in type, I already know what it would be like in person.”/ "I don't have a huge list of requirements, because sometimes you've no idea what you truly want or need until it's staring you in the face"

You don’t feel like these two things contradict each other? As an example: if my ex-girlfriend had come across my profile on POF before she knew me, there is zero chance she would have sent me a message or responded to one of mine – because I was/am in no way her “type.” There is nothing I could have written to change her mind because she had already sorted out what her "type" was and I wasn't it. But because she was forced to spend a year with me staring in her face as co-workers, her "type" evolved and she ended up deciding that I was what she “truly wanted” or “needed.” At the time.

I do think that’s an extreme example but not a terribly odd or extraordinary one. Some people look far better or far worse “on paper” than in real life under any circumstances. A brilliant writer is not necessarily a brilliant conversationalist and a brilliant conversationalist is not necessarily a brilliant writer. As I’ve said before, I have highly charismatic co-workers who are terrible writers, while the Flannery O’Connors and Emily****nsons of the world are often quiet as mice in real life; IG seems like one of the few writers who likely speaks and writes with the same voice (as I've said a million times, the real life me is nothing like the many written versions of me). We probably eliminate a lot of people that might very well be what we “truly want” because they don’t look quite right “on paper.” This is not to say I may not have done that myself. After all, there is only so much time in the world to be pursuing leads. But I probably eliminate at the profile/messaging level a lot less frequently than most because I have a pretty good understanding that I have no idea what I truly want, whereas many people who say that don't necessarily believe themselves and practice what they preach.

“I still stand by the premise that I need The man not A man.....with all of his glorious imperfections.” / “I can understand when someone meets the right partner, and then goes, ‘how did I live without this person?’”

The more I think about this, the more I feel like that is not a satisfactory philosophy. Primarily because, this moment being after that person you “need” is gone, you are still here, and many of you quite happy with your current existence, so apparently you didn’t really “need” that person. We sometimes hear stories about two elderly people that have been married for decades that die within hours of each other – I will at least give them the benefit of the doubt as maybe they did “need” each other to survive, because their bodies followed through on that belief.

But people go on after losing parents they’ve known all their life, after losing children that had their unconditional love, after losing best friends they’ve had since kindergarten... and they definitely go on after losing (by death or otherwise) someone they chose to believe they couldn’t live without, sometimes a few years after they chose to believe that of someone else. I’m not really sure I’m seeing a distinction between *needing* A person vs. *needing* THE person when apparently, few people actually *need* either to survive.

(Disclaimer: I’ve never felt that way about any specific person and I’m likely too practical to ever do so. Which apparently puts me in the odd position of somewhat supporting the opposite philosophy: the need for *a* person, not the need for *the* person.)
 BelleAtlantic
Joined: 11/7/2012
Msg: 197
I don't NEED an arguement! I WANT an arguement!!
Posted: 4/23/2015 10:54:25 AM
Damn you Charmin!!!

I just spend 4 hours out of my life (on YouTube) that I'll never get back. I couldn't resist the temptation of hoping for a resolution, so I watched the damn documentary, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Then I ended up watching the Chinese one (that was pretty off-putting), strapping babies on chairs with potty hole underneath, unacceptable. Then I somehow ended up watching baby serial killers (Amelia Dyer), she wiped out a good 400+, f*cking lunatic.

I did however learn some history (thank you for that), and then Adventure came to the rescue with more knowledge, so all is not lost. I felt a sense of helplessness for these children but I cannot see a way to help without really getting involved, so I'll reach out to someone in the UN about it.

The one child rule in China to control the population and fend off impending famine was one I thought all citizens understood. The documentary brings to light that access and funds for birth control are not readily available, making these additional pregnancies unavoidable. Instead of investing in a humane victim-less solution, they invest in abortion (even late term) and then sterilization against the mother's will. If they find a woman who is pregnant with second child, they jail both husband and wife until she submits to an abortion, only their method is to inject a lethal solution...................I'll leave it at that, it's pretty unsettling.

Now every time I hear someone complain about children who have disabilities, I'm gonna refer them to these documentaries for how other countries deal with "imperfect" children. To think our system is broken in the level of care they are willing to provide, pffft, this is nothing compared to what other children of the world are going through. I didn't see a single TV, tablet, computer, phone, rug, couch, choice of milk, snacks, etc, and here we have an IG page on #mykidswonteatthis with silly reasons behind it.

On Topic,

So many ways to skin a _____, so no one will need or want the same things.

Shakti,

I rather eliminate them in person, than over a few messages. I could message all I'd like but if I don't like what he's about in person, I just wasted air time, finger clicks, and time.
 _shakti_
Joined: 2/22/2014
Msg: 198
I don't NEED an arguement! I WANT an arguement!!
Posted: 4/23/2015 11:02:14 AM

The few ladies I know who advertise this are insecure people who want a guy to make THEM feel like a genius, which is nowhere near the correct use of the term, but that's far from the first time someone has turned a term radically to state something in their profile.
It means being sexually attracted to intelligence in another, and I definitely am. I advertise that in my profile too. Not sure how anyone would get the context you are describing, but people are entitled to their own perceptions.

I rather eliminate them in person, than over a few messages. I could message all I'd like but if I don't like what he's about in person, I just wasted air time, finger clicks, and time.
To each their own! I'd rather not have to meet a string of guys that I could never be compatible with. And as I said above, intelligence is very important to me, and that is extremely easy to ascertain through messaging. As are many other things.
 kj521
Joined: 8/8/2012
Msg: 199
I don't NEED a man! I WANT a man!!
Posted: 4/23/2015 11:12:17 AM
Mr. Hawking.....

I am sure Mr. Pig didn't mean it like that. Besides...he's gonna take us to drinking establishments where we're gonna see things we've never seen before!

I will need to have an idea on what to wear to these places ahead time Mr. Pig....in case I need to go shopping. :)
 ThePig0fYourDreams
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 200
I don't NEED a man! I WANT a man!!
Posted: 4/23/2015 11:14:43 AM


You see, this is exactly why I never try to do any male bonding and have only female best friends.


I'm afraid you misunderstood me. I'm not knocking you. I am merely pointing out "single" doesn't mean dateless. It seemed you were assuming we shared common obstacles, when the fact of the matter is, we don't. Now, if I were currently pursuing a relationship, the things you mentioned could factor in to some extent.

However, I still think *you* are your biggest obstacle, and I'm not saying that to be insulting. For some reason, you don't agree, but our locations *are* very diverse. Yes, there are places more diverse, but we've got it made as far as I'm concerned.

Now, I know you want to believe our height and race difference is the biggest issue here, and I still say it isn't. It's our mindset and approach.

Put yourself and I in a bar/club setting, and you're going to see two people conducting themselves in two very different manners. I would venture to say you will be the quiet observer watching everyone else and analyzing everything you see.

Me? F*ck that. I'm hitting the dance floor. I didn't go there to "think".

Bottom line, I'm trying to tell you that you CAN do this shit. You just need to get it out of your head that you're inferior because it will inevitably make you ACT inferior.

Make sense?
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