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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > "I don't NEED a man! I WANT a man!!"      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Hearton64
Joined: 12/18/2012
Msg: 201
I don't NEED an arguement! I WANT an arguement!!Page 9 of 17    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17)
"While I would never use the word "hot" to describe another man (it kind of implies sexual desire to me) I'm perfectly able to acknowledge whether another guy is "attractive" per se and express it. It doesn't mean I want his dong or want him coming near mine. I would probably say something along the lines of "he's a good looking guy, I can see why women might like him."
--------------
Gotcha. Difference when I think or say it?
I can imagine having sex with her and thankfully I don't
have the gay stigma attached where I have to quantify my
Sexual attraction to anyone. Male or female. : )

----------------
"However, there are some famous guys out there that a
lot of women seem to like that leave me saying to myself "
what the HELL are they thinking??!"

Like who?
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 202
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History
I don't NEED a man! I WANT a man!!
Posted: 4/23/2015 11:42:35 AM
Pig...I think you should take Hawking out and give him some pointers.....

Sometimes, people just can't see themselves as well as others can.....

Just a thought....
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 203
I don't NEED a man! I WANT a man!!
Posted: 4/23/2015 11:51:47 AM
Hawkings.. he meant no disrespect.
My BF doesn't drink. I do. Meanwhile a bottle broke in my trunk and my car reeks of booze. Carpet shampoo, Ni Odor, I'm trying vinegar now :(
No white wine thanks Clooney - red only. Cheap plonk. Yester I read an ad for a wine they called "exuberant and would play on your nose" Ha! Why would I rub it on my nose? I did appreciate the pretentious. I still bought my cheap stuff, it plays in my tummy :/
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 204
I don't NEED a man! I WANT a man!!
Posted: 4/23/2015 12:07:36 PM

Bottom line, I'm trying to tell you that you CAN do this shit. You just need to get it out of your head that you're inferior because it will inevitably make you ACT inferior.


I've been trying to tell Halkings this for years, but every single time, he manages two write the novel length reasons why it does not work for him. If he just said "what'ta fvck" and went out there, instead of hiding behind the statistical reasons why he will fail. And yes, I know Halkings works with Statistics.

But guess what, I work in marketing where 2+2 equals 5.

So do it man.
 ThePig0fYourDreams
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 205
I don't NEED a man! I WANT a man!!
Posted: 4/23/2015 12:20:39 PM


Like who?


The first one to come to mind is Vin Diesel. I never got the hype.


Pig...I think you should take Hawking out and give him some pointers....


He's about two hours from me, and I am in that area on occasion, but he doesn't need me. He knows what he needs to do and what to relinquish. But if he ever wanted someone to give him a "push", I'd be game.
 2015cashmere
Joined: 4/16/2015
Msg: 206
I don't NEED a man! I WANT a man!!
Posted: 4/23/2015 12:22:27 PM
I have to agree with you InnerGorilla. Folks like this need to take some lessons from those that are the complete opposite to Mr. Hawkings and who are over the top - the entitled, those that mention low hanging fruit, I am high caliber, I am special, I am awesome. Do a blending of the two and come out as a whole person, one who other's enjoy being around. Most of us are "ordinary" but there are a few on here that blame other's for their lack of success and there are those that are so "perfect" you wonder why they are still here because they are so damn marvelous. Both extremes are annoying, JMO.
 HawkingJr
Joined: 4/16/2007
Msg: 207
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History
I don't NEED a man! I WANT a man!!
Posted: 4/23/2015 12:37:17 PM
I don’t know how it’s gotten to this point but my original “Pig and I are twins” post was obviously supposed to be a joke as was my follow up to him. I’m well aware that we are 99% different (other than sharing two very rare traits).

But since it’s somehow been taking seriously by everyone, I will respond seriously.

“Put yourself and I in a bar/club setting, and you're going to see two people conducting themselves in two very different manners. I would venture to say you will be the quiet observer watching everyone else and analyzing everything you see.”

You are correct... if I am in a bar/club by myself, that is exactly how I would behave. But those years of clubbing by myself are long gone. I now almost always go out with friends, and that is not at all how I behave with them – I am fairly talkative with them and I do dance. That said, since most of my friends are married females, the dynamic is probably much different from what you are suggesting and my best friend is always telling me that as much as she loves hanging out with me, probably nothing good for my dating life is going to happen with a bunch of married women and I would probably be in a much better position if I was hanging out with male friends, since they tend to “hunt in packs.” She’s probably right, but I have mostly married female friends (who mostly only have married female friends) and that’s just the way it is. Hanging out with my second best friend is always a little different since she is younger and perpetually single and knows a lot of single females, but for a lot of reasons I don’t have time to get into, we don’t hang out anywhere near as much as we did 10 years ago (despite being as close as ever), when fun drunk girls were all over me in bars and clubs all the time... and of course, I had a girlfriend, so, you know, that was just an awkward mess. An awkward mess I’d give my left eyeball to have back. Minus that girlfriend (yeah, I didn’t NEED her... those nights, anyway).

2015cashmere: Saaaaaaay what?
 2015cashmere
Joined: 4/16/2015
Msg: 208
I don't NEED a man! I WANT a man!!
Posted: 4/23/2015 12:53:54 PM
What I was trying to say is - if it ain't working maybe change it up. You DO come on here a lot an ramble about why you can't manage to get a date. Change it up, whatever you are doing isn't working. You are attractive, fit looking and young. You ramble, you write a thesis when half a dozen sentences would do, you over analyze, you appear to feel sorry for yourself and become boring. This is my take, I could well be wrong, if I am wrong please accept my apologies.
 BelleAtlantic
Joined: 11/7/2012
Msg: 209
I don't NEED a man! I WANT a man!!
Posted: 4/23/2015 1:15:13 PM
Do not panic Hawkings, we are all reuniting soon (not sure where TGIF went though, but he'll be back I'm sure). So then the group will consist of KJ, TGIF, Pig, you, and myself. I already expressed I want Cuban cuisine because well....it's Florida aka Cuban Central. Their Churrasco steak and mojitos have got to be the cream of the crop, with a sugar cane on top, lol.

I don't want to hear about deadlines, and you not being able to get out of work on the day I arrive, I will let you know far in advance when I'm landing so you can clear your schedule, break a few nights so you can guarantee the time off. Don't even worry about your "white personality", I speak Spanish, I can order for everyone and ask for directions if necessary, I'm not shy.

I do however have one request, I'm gonna need you to take me to that beach you said all the babes are at sipping on a pineapple, lol. Some extra eye candy before I go would be nice.

vvvvvvv

so he is no longer going to move to Florida? Um, perhaps exchanging numbers versus relying on POF may be a more effective mode of communication.
 clooneystutor
Joined: 3/8/2015
Msg: 210
I don't NEED a man! I WANT a man!!
Posted: 4/23/2015 1:32:36 PM
Tom told me he had a stroke after discovering that Kathleen chose a Zen master over him.

This was the proverbial nail in the coffin after all that work prepping for that climb up Mt Rainier and successfully repelling down afterwards.

He's considering an Igloo in Dem's part of the woods now :(
 newoldgirl
Joined: 4/16/2015
Msg: 211
I don't NEED an arguement! I WANT an arguement!!
Posted: 4/23/2015 2:12:29 PM
[qutoe] Sapiophile (noun) means someone who is sexually attracted to intelligent people

Huh. You mean there are people who are aroused by stupidity? LOL


The few ladies I know who advertise this are insecure people who want a guy to make THEM feel like a genius, which is nowhere near the correct use of the term, but that's far from the first time someone has turned a term radically to state something in their profile.


What do you mean by this? A woman says she wants a smart guy, but actually wants a dumbass? She says she wants a good looking guy, but actually wants fugly dude? She says she wants a man with a good job, but she actually wants to date the unemployed?

Intelligence is a turn on to me. A sharp wit goes a long way as well.

On a coffee meet one time, my date used a common medial word, and then said, "I wonder why they call it that?" As it happened I knew why, and I told him. I have no medical background, or even a science background, but it had read it somewhere and it stuck in my head. His response was interesting. He said " I am so happy to have met you. It's nice to find a person who can actually teach me something, for once!"
LMAO! He obviously goes through life believing he's the smartest guy in the room--every room. I was turned off by two things: the fact that he wasn't that bright and the fact that he thought he was! LOL
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 212
I don't NEED an arguement! I WANT an arguement!!
Posted: 4/23/2015 2:40:04 PM

He said " I am so happy to have met you. It's nice to find a person who can actually teach me something, for once!"
LMAO! He obviously goes through life believing he's the smartest guy in the room--every room. I was turned off by two things: the fact that he wasn't that bright and the fact that he thought he was! LOL


I know what you're getting at but, sometimes, it's just a matter of interpretation (unless you outright ask a person to explain what they mean) - he may have also meant that he was glad to have found someone who wasn't as dumb as a doorknob for a change, rather than it meaning he thought he deserved to be in Mensa. There were probably other things, however, that led you to believe that he wasn't all that bright, beyond this one incident. It goes right back to the thread topic, though - people assuming they know what someone else means by "need" or "want" or a mixture of both, without asking - an attempt at communication to find out.
 kj521
Joined: 8/8/2012
Msg: 213
I don't NEED a man! I WANT a man!!
Posted: 4/23/2015 2:52:30 PM
Mr. Hawking......I am this close (holding my thumb and forefinger just a hair away from each other)......from giving up on you!

The only reason I don't is because you would like that. You are more afraid of succeeding than you are of failing.
You say you go out with all these female friends.....and yet you do not utilize these resources?

I can promise you if I went up against the hottest guy in the bar.....at the end of the night....I will have met more women than he.
Now....granted I would be meeting them in a non sexual way....although a few might be interested in me that way....that's besides the point!
It's all about the introduction and finding just one that shows similar interest. It really is not hard!


Oh hell....Ms. Belle.....ooh I made a rhyme! I crack myself up sometimes! :)
Anyway.....if we are unable to locate Tgif.....and Mr. Hawking puts up a fight....I will meet you in Tampa.

Now.....it has been many years since I have been to Ybor....but between your savviness and my ditziness....it will be memorable!

I thinking asking Mr. Crookcatcher to accompany us might be our get out of jail free card....

Are you available, Mr. Crookcatcher? :)

Ps ...Ms. Belle....I just remembered....the last time I went out in Ybor....I spend my night at some club talking to a middle aged man wearing a diaper and sucking on a pacifier.....not kidding. Of course, that is nothing to you in NY. ...heck...you probably see that on the subway! Lol
 CrookCatcher
Joined: 7/14/2014
Msg: 214
I don't NEED a man! I WANT a man!!
Posted: 4/23/2015 3:00:50 PM
Let me check my schedule.....yep looks clear......let me know the date and time :)

Wait what?! Wearing a diaper and sucking a pacifier?!? This should prove interesting....
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 215
I don't NEED a man! I WANT a man!!
Posted: 4/23/2015 3:18:21 PM

Tbh every time I dip my toe in to date, the reality of it all hits me. I find the whole process exhausting, and usually.. far from worth the 'pay off'. So yeah, I can definitely take it or leave it. In fact, when guys talk about how sad they are to be alone, I usually respond by telling them that I quite like alone time. I guess I missed the boat on those occasions for a chance to fulfill a man's needs, but then.. what about mine?

I have a tendency to be drawn toward those who also enjoy their alone time, are somewhat introverted and perhaps a bit of a loner. Those who don't need too much from me right off the bat, who take their time so that things are grounded in reality. But that's rare, and usually those qualities come across when someone isn't actually emotionally available. It's sometimes tough to differentiate. But I would still prefer that over someone who wants to inhale me whole in one sitting because they feel a lack of oxygen due to their single status.

I identity with all of this.

You say that like it's a bad thing. : )

For some of us, it really is.

I married one of those "I need a man to feel whole" women. She did a fine job of driving off my friends, made me feel guilty about working on something by myself during the weekends. If I dared to fall asleep while we were watching tv, I got woke up. I got a guilt trip for rising early. I slept on the edge of the bed for 21 years. I was always to go with her. Foreplay was to last at least 12 hours. I was supposed to be as interested in anything she was. I had to be in first date mode- all the time. Never, ever look at another woman. (Oh, and never talk to one) Never yell at her. She was always right.

Convicts have more privileges than I had. No wonder I felt like I got paroled when she asked for a divorce.

I gasped for air just reading this. Yikes, one of my worst nightmares.

Same. On several occasions, I have went on first or second dates with reasonably attractive men who seemed nice enough, but who seemed to mainly be looking for someone to fill up their free evenings. For example, when they would ask me out and I would suggest going out the next weekend, they seemed at a loss as to how I would fill up my week all by my lonesome. They wanted to jump straight to relationship-y stuff, like weeknight dinners in, and knowing what I was doing each day. I don't even mean necessarily in a possessive way, more like in a lonely wanting attention way. I am happy to get to that point, eventually, but I am not lonely, or bored, and I don't need a job as someone's "entertainment".

Yes, exactly!

It takes both courage and determination to live alone. Its just so much easier to not live that way.

Says who? Is that the way YOU see it? Sounds like you're speaking for others here.
 kj521
Joined: 8/8/2012
Msg: 216
I don't NEED a man! I WANT a man!!
Posted: 4/23/2015 3:20:34 PM
Tell me about it....Mr. Crookcatcher! I tried to take it serious and figure out the why....but when he asked me to powder his butt....I lost it and started laughing!

I did feel sorry later for hurting his feelings but....what can I say? I am only human. :)
 CrookCatcher
Joined: 7/14/2014
Msg: 217
I don't NEED a man! I WANT a man!!
Posted: 4/23/2015 3:26:21 PM

I tried to take it serious and figure out the why....but when he asked me to powder his butt....I lost it and started laughing!


Holy smoke! Thats.....thats.....certainly something you don't normally encounter.

We need to work on your selection process for social interaction. :)
 kj521
Joined: 8/8/2012
Msg: 218
I don't NEED a man! I WANT a man!!
Posted: 4/23/2015 3:30:13 PM
Are you kidding, Mr. Crookcatcher?

Surely....in your former line of work you developed an appreciation for those that teeter on the edge of the normal range!

And if you haven't.....allow me to show you the way! Lol
 DeepakTolle
Joined: 4/3/2015
Msg: 219
I don't NEED a man! I WANT a man!!
Posted: 4/23/2015 3:42:52 PM

They wanted to jump straight to relationship-y stuff, like weeknight dinners in, and knowing what I was doing each day. I don't even mean necessarily in a possessive way, more like in a lonely wanting attention way. I am happy to get to that point, eventually, but I am not lonely, or bored, and I don't need a job as someone's "entertainment".


If I'm really into someone new they become like a highly addictive drug , which is both exciting and scary . I have to remind myself to enjoy but keep my foot on the brakes aka reality.

Conversely, if I'm not too sure about her and she's constantly texting, calling, etc THEN it's annoying and a sure sign that she's not the one.

Another thing I've noticed is that in the mornings getting ready for work and while at work I don't miss being in a relationship at all .... but at night and on weekends .... different story.

Idle hands ?
 newoldgirl
Joined: 4/16/2015
Msg: 220
I don't NEED an arguement! I WANT an arguement!!
Posted: 4/23/2015 3:47:22 PM

I know what you're getting at but, sometimes, it's just a matter of interpretation (unless you outright ask a person to explain what they mean) - he may have also meant that he was glad to have found someone who wasn't as dumb as a doorknob for a change, rather than it meaning he thought he deserved to be in Mensa. There were probably other things, however, that led you to believe that he wasn't all that bright, beyond this one incident.


Yes, you're right, Chameleon. The one comment alone could have been taken as a compliment, but there were a few other things he said that made me think we not only not too bright, but also very full of himself !

I NEED intelligent conversation! LOL
 ThePig0fYourDreams
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 221
I don't NEED a man! I WANT a man!!
Posted: 4/23/2015 3:50:51 PM

I don’t know how it’s gotten to this point but my original “Pig and I are twins” post was obviously supposed to be a joke as was my follow up to him. I’m well aware that we are 99% different (other than sharing two very rare traits).


I don't believe many think of you as the "jokester" of the forums, so something signifying you were joking might have helped.

But anyway, you spoke of going out with female friends who are married. Women make great wingmen. (well, wingwomen, in this case, I suppose) The fact that they're married is irrelevant. They can still socialize with other women, which opens the door for YOU.

However, not wanting to go out alone isn't good. I much prefer it, myself. I like to take my own car, not ride with someone else. I am in control of where I go all night. Get out and do it while you still have some youth left. You don't want to be an old fart who rambles on about all the things he wished he had done one day.



Ps ...Ms. Belle....I just remembered....the last time I went out in Ybor....I spend my night at some club talking to a middle aged man wearing a diaper and sucking on a pacifier.....not kidding.


That HAD to be The Senator. He's been a staple at The Castle for ages.
 newoldgirl
Joined: 4/16/2015
Msg: 222
I don't NEED an arguement! I WANT an arguement!!
Posted: 4/23/2015 3:50:55 PM
* was not too bright !

How come we can't edit our typos?!

Frustrating!
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 223
I don't NEED an arguement! I WANT an arguement!!
Posted: 4/23/2015 3:52:41 PM
the good news is, H awkings, is you must be good looking to some level, b/c the ladies keep responding to you. When I used to carry on like you do, women didn't bother to respond in order to make me feel better. when humans are willing to argue against your point about yourself, they think they have a leg to stand on. otherwise, take my word for it, when someone who is hopeless admits they are hopeless, there's rarely more than one person who feels bad enough to lie to their face, they tend to just turn away.

intelligence is a turn on for everyone, the problem is so few are truly intelligent. or maybe its more accurate to say, some people know what's the right thing to do, they just can't be bothered to do all that work. better to do what's fun and deal with the fallout, than to make the sacrifice of doing what's smart the first time around.

as for the date who was the smartest person in the room, sometimes you are the smartest person in the workplace. sometimes you forget the simple explanation for what a word means b/c you learned it so long ago--you know, the old expression, "he learned more about X than you'll ever forget!"

as we get older, i'm sure we date differently. we don't do the games for the sake of games--we've got to work to pay the bills, take care of kids, etc. we may get more goal focused--instead of spending hours on the golf course working on our stroke, for example, we might just use our credit card to buy a better club, and take a shortcut. when we were young, "marriage" may have been a status to achieve, so we could prove were adults and not wet behind the ears straight out of college. In middle age, tho, we already have adult status, marriage achieves nothing for us, so we expect it to do more for us.
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 224
view profile
History
I don't NEED a man! I WANT a man!!
Posted: 4/23/2015 3:53:11 PM

You are correct... if I am in a bar/club by myself, that is exactly how I would behave. But those years of clubbing by myself are long gone.


The 3 second rule is perfect for guys like you! To stop yourself thinking about stuff you need to just ACT, ACT, ACT. When you see someone interesting , just go over. Do NOT think! Your head is your own worst enemy probably.

As for your best friend pointing out you need to hang with guys..she is right. Didn't I point that out to you a few weeks ago?

As usual you wrote a Charles****ns novel about how you don't hang with guys. No one says you have to bond with them in other ways, but you could use the wingmen. My father (he is probably as close to the natural that the PUA imitated) drilled that into my head when I was a little lad and couldn't even go to bars /clubs by myself or with friends legally. But I spent much time in clubs because my father thought the dancers/models in the club were appropriate baby sitters. I had a disco ball over my crib I think .


When in doubt act!
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 225
I don't NEED a reason I WANT a reason!
Posted: 4/23/2015 4:16:19 PM
its true at most venues, the three second rule is generally correct. talk to a stranger for a reason, any reason. if its meant to be, they'll make it happen b/c they want the pleasure of it happening. you have to be willing to lose plenty of opportunities, in order to find just one. and naturally, not get exhausted by the fact you're the gadfly talking to everyone.

but, at what age does hanging out in bars or clubs shout, "I'M HERE TO GET LAID?" I don't do 'em anymore b/c there's no good reason for a guy my age to be in a bar, except to pick up younger girls. like, don't I own a house I can get drunk in? a garage or basement I can hang out with my buds in? of course, if I went already with a date to dance with, or with a bunch of buds to catch sports on the TV...well, even then, don't I own a TV room at home to catch the game there? maybe its just my attitude towards bars, but they seem to be for 20 yr olds who are enjoying the fact its finally legal to drink. or married men escaping their families.

then again...I don't drink. probably why I view bars that way. I'd only go if there was live entertainment going on. and at such locations around here...the beautiful women aren't there alone.
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