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 bobbertsmithert1
Joined: 5/3/2015
Msg: 26
HotwifingPage 2 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
Hearton64 said:

DAMN GLAD TO BE VANILLA


And how's that working out for you?


I hope you find a woman to be the neighborhood bike
So you can get turned on.


If a guys is promiscuous, he's a stud. If a girl does it, (according to your wisdom) she's a "neighborhood bike."
Hate often?
 _Sweet_T
Joined: 1/27/2015
Msg: 27
Hotwifing
Posted: 5/9/2015 12:10:24 AM
if you have the physical best sex and the emotional and mental parts included then yes...perfect

secretly we all want to be a little slutty sometimes. it is the whole double standard thing. if I guy is then is just a stud but if a woman is than she is trash. it is changing but most of us were raised to believe that
 jeia2015
Joined: 4/25/2015
Msg: 28
Hotwifing
Posted: 5/9/2015 1:47:57 AM
So you would be completly monogamous?
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 29
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History
Hotwifing
Posted: 5/10/2015 9:27:07 AM

Ok no 1 baby I can't help but say....

DAMN GLAD TO BE VANILLA ; )

Oh hon.. I'm not as kinky as 80% of the people I know that ARE kinky! Next to them I'm a prude. Seriously. Think about that for a moment!!


I'm way too abnormal it seems being that I see
sex and love within monogamy to be a mentally healthy
way to exist.

Ok, personal pet peeve of mine showing up now... if we stopped talking in terms of what is normal or not normal, most people would realize they have a lot more in common than they think. Seriously.

Normal for you is sex and love within monogamy. Nothing wrong with that.

Normal for the OP is sex and love within a non-mono relationship where his female partner has sex with other men. Nothing wrong with that.

Normal for me is something different than either of those things.

Normal is what YOU do day in, day out. It isn't about doing the same thing as everyone else. Kink is more normal than most people realize. Seriously.


So in the realm of trying to understand this
are you saying you have done so much sexual
experimentation it takes a lot to turn you on?

I'm not the OP, I won't speak for him, I just know stuff from what I'm read and from talking to others that enjoy the same things.

I'm going to guess him stating that a second woman in a threesome having to be Halle Berry is more about him saying he's not really interested in threesomes.


As in you're desensitized and can all too easily
compartmentalize love and sex and you need more
mental stimulation to get you off so sharing your partner
whilst you get her seconds does it for you?

I can compartmentalize sex and love and I do need more mental stimulation.. but not because I'm desensitized. Being sapiosexual I NEED that mental stimulation in order to be sexually aroused. If that's not there, I'm really not interested in having sex with someone, and it's not because I'm desensitized.

People want what they want. You want a more traditional kind of relationship and that is awesome and amazing and wonderful and fabulous and as long as you're happy, then it's all good. I've done that, could do it again, I'm just not really interested in doing the "one penis pledge" because I know I wouldn't be happy. So that means I've just found a way of being happy. Funny though.. I'm in an open relationship.. and I'm sticking to the one penis anyway. *shrug* I'm more like you than you realize. We just happen to do different things in the bedroom and beyond.
 Hearton64
Joined: 12/18/2012
Msg: 30
Hotwifing
Posted: 5/11/2015 6:14:06 AM

Oh hon.. I'm not as kinky as 80% of the people I know that ARE kinky!
Next to them I'm a prude. Seriously. Think about that for a moment!!


THATS SCARY to me....lol
I can bearly wrap my very open mind around that reality! : )


Normal for you is sex and love within monogamy. Nothing wrong with that.Normal for the OP is sex and love within a non-mono relationship where his female partner has sex with other men. Nothing wrong with that.Normal for me is something different than either of those things.Normal is what YOU do day in, day out. It isn't about doing the same thing as everyone else. Kink is more normal than most people realize. Seriously.


THAT was my point!! I was being fascitious.You should know me well enough by now!~

I'm out of the' kink/fetish" loop and it feels as though odd girl out in many respects at this point in my life.
But I have gone down some roads YOU haven't even tried. ; 0

I find it amazing what some people need to get turned on,including myself.
To think swinging is boring so let's find a hotwife?
What? I mean WHAT? Where does it stop?
I have never swung before and for me that would me more than enough to
get me going! But I know better what's best for me.


I can compartmentalize sex and love and I do need more mental stimulation.. but not because I'm desensitized. Being sapiosexual I NEED that mental stimulation in order to be sexually aroused. If that's not there, I'm really not interested in having sex with someone, and it's not because I'm desensitized.


What is mental stimulation necessary for if you can compartmentalize emotion from physical sex?
I could feasibly see a guy across the room and grab his hand and take him into a bathroom and get f*cked
against a wall.Without ANY conversation,let alone emotion or love.And not even see myself as a "slut".
Ive done it before. Ive done a lot of seedy things in my past. Sh*t that would make you question my sanity!

I choose not to lower myself to that animalistic level as I once did , so I stay civilized.
I don't even see that as immoral.Just unneccesary at my age.


People want what they want.


Yup....and they also pay consequences for not having healthy boundaries.


You want a more traditional kind of relationship and that is awesome and amazing and wonderful and fabulous and as long as you're happy, then it's all good. I've done that, could do it again, I'm just not really interested in doing the "one penis pledge" because I know I wouldn't be happy. So that means I've just found a way of being happy. Funny though.. I'm in an open relationship.. and I'm sticking to the one penis anyway. *shrug* I'm more like you than you realize. We just happen to do different things in the bedroom and beyond.


HAHAHA!
Believe me!! Im not with one guy because Im better than anyone else,nor do I see that as the ONLY way to go,
nor because that's how Ive always been.Far from it! I was a known "slut" in High School because I LOVED sex.
Nor would I lie and say I don't consider f*cking a gaggle of guys all at the same time.I simply choose to live without
crossing lines that would create havoc in my life,not to mention the risks that come with all the STD's out there!

I was a hard core sex lover in my late teens.I have compiled a big number freely f*cking whomever I wantedno guilt no shame!~ With exception of that which was projected onto me by chicks who didn't have my guts.


I also realized that there's a fine line between sex addiction and a healthy sex life.
I didn't spend years in therapy learning about my promiscuious behaviors/choices just to repeat the same unhealthy patterns.

So yeah,we went what we want,but sometimes erring on the side of self protective caution is the WISER way to go.

I may be vanilla NOW.....but in my hay day.....I'd have easily been a hotwife.
 Hearton64
Joined: 12/18/2012
Msg: 31
Hotwifing
Posted: 5/11/2015 6:19:47 AM
This profle pic is me just 6 years go and this one was TAME....horny as hell coming out of a 24 year marriage
ready to f*Ck!

I met my guy and that's all we did for 6 years solid!

Why would I need someone else?

So yeah....NO HATE for women who love to f*ck!

Just concern as to whom this benefits more....him or her!
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 32
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History
Hotwifing
Posted: 5/11/2015 8:01:29 AM

Just concern as to whom this benefits more....him or her!

Both.. as long as they BOTH want it. That's the key.
 bobbertsmithert1
Joined: 5/3/2015
Msg: 33
Hotwifing
Posted: 5/11/2015 8:42:50 PM
In order for this kink to work, she would have to not only want it, but crave it.
She would love it.
Her **** buddies would love it.
I would love it.

Most of society would hate it and feel threatened by it.
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 34
Hotwifing
Posted: 5/12/2015 7:50:56 AM

I met my guy and that's all we did for 6 years solid!

Why would I need someone else?


Yumm. I am with you Hearton. I love sex. But in the scheme of things out there, I am pretty vanilla, and very very monogamous. And, I am looking for those extra five years being super active with my partner.

Now, not to rain in the S&M parade of alternative or anything. But, in a previous relationship with someone that had been into the whole thing, she welcome my vanilla-ness because as she said, the problem many times with the whole S&M is that unless they escalate what they do, they don't get turned on. And it got to the point that it was too much.

And this is a discussion we've had before with Belle and others, and that is that even when a partner wants to be submissive or controlled, it doesn't mean necessarily that they want pain.

On a more personal note, I feel that if you start bringing other people into the relationship, it dilutes the level not of sex, but of a personal relationship with your partner. What if you or your partner starts to get more attached to that other person. And I have seen it with others that after bringing the third person, THEY became the third person.
 StarClassic
Joined: 9/29/2014
Msg: 35
Hotwifing
Posted: 5/12/2015 9:07:18 AM
Y'all can paint me Selfish.
I put in the time to pursue her. I put in the mental and emotional effort to woo her and win her heart. By Damn I want the p^ssy, and I ain't sharin'.

While that may be a bit tounge in cheek, it's the straight up truth.
 bobbertsmithert1
Joined: 5/3/2015
Msg: 36
Hotwifing
Posted: 5/12/2015 10:58:29 AM

Y'all can paint me Selfish.
I put in the time to pursue her. I put in the mental and emotional effort to woo her and win her heart. By Damn I want the p^ssy, and I ain't sharin'.

While that may be a bit tounge in cheek, it's the straight up truth.


Let the other guy put in the effort of wooing, and you just reap the rewards! Make her the center of attention.
 StarClassic
Joined: 9/29/2014
Msg: 37
Hotwifing
Posted: 5/12/2015 1:30:18 PM
She would already be the center of attention. The center of My attentions. Just as I would be the center of Her attentions. :)

Not faulting you on your views, I'm just one selfish SOB. When it comes to the woman I share my life with.
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 38
Hotwifing
Posted: 5/12/2015 1:33:49 PM

Let the other guy put in the effort of wooing, and you just reap the rewards! Make her the center of attention.


I have no idea what you're talking about. If one of my buddies is hitting on a woman, I am hands off, unless she dishes him and now is open for the next guy. If they are now dating, I don't go after them, even after they split. So, no. Not my technique. So how do you make THAT work.
 norwegianguy123
Joined: 10/27/2014
Msg: 39
Hotwifing
Posted: 5/12/2015 3:49:49 PM

I'm just one selfish SOB. When it comes to the woman I share my life with.

LOL. Nice. I'm a selfish SOB when it comes to the women I'm with too. I care about my needs -- her needs can go to hell. I just tell her to stay in the kitchen. Hey, I warned her that I'm a selfish SOB when I'm going to let her share my life with her... ;)

I have no idea what you're talking about. If one of my buddies is hitting on a woman, I am hands off, unless she dishes him and now is open for the next guy.

Yeah, but I think it's different when you and your buddy are at the bar, looking to tag-team a girl. I would assume if both guys were a bit shy or awkward about it, they'd play paper-rock-scissors to see who asks her if she's up for a tag-team-bang. Actually, I think it'd be quite easy, after a bit of mingling applying a little rhyme-charm...

Me: "So, do you like good weather?"
She: "Yeah...."
Me: "Great! Me too! How about a 3-some, with him, me, and you?"
 Hearton64
Joined: 12/18/2012
Msg: 40
Hotwifing
Posted: 5/12/2015 4:09:09 PM

Most of society would hate it and feel threatened by it.


Is that your motive?

Most of society doesn't care nor would they even know
Unless you took a dad out in the local paper announcing
your "rebellious" relationship.

And where's the threat to anyone but you and
her potentially contracting STD's.

Also are you so lazy you can't woo your own
woman or capable of keeping her sexually satisfied?

Reap what benefits?

Cream pies of another guys spluge?

I like being "owned" at this point in my life
and know better than to take unnecessary emotional
or sexual risks.

But I'm sure there are some sex addicted women
who'd be willing to play your games out there.
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 41
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History
Hotwifing
Posted: 5/12/2015 7:01:05 PM

Also are you so lazy you can't woo your own
woman or capable of keeping her sexually satisfied?

Pretty sure it isn't about this at all. He just happens to like the idea of her being with others, as well as with him.


But I'm sure there are some sex addicted women
who'd be willing to play your games out there.

Why should he look for a sex addicted woman? People with actual sex addictions are horrible people usually with no moral code. He's asking her to be accountable and transparent in her sexual activities, something that a sex addict can't or won't do.



Most of society would hate it and feel threatened by it.

Is that your motive?

I like doing things that somewhat shock others. It's not my motive, just an added bonus. Do I like kink? Sure. Is it everything that I like? Nope. I like the color pink, I just don't wear it all the time, day in day out. I also don't eat steak every day, even though I'd like to.

Non-monogamy is a completely viable option for any couple that agrees to it. You don't have to agree to it.

I fully support my friends who are in completely monogamous relationships. I talk to them about their relationship challenges in the same way I talk to my non-mono friends about their relationship challenges. Neither is better than the other. It's interesting that one group sees the other as a threat to their way of life, much like a lot of "christians" view gay marriage as a threat to marriage. It isn't.

Don't get involved in someone else's bedroom antics until or unless you are invited, and if you're not invited, be respectful about it.
 LLove2LaughToo
Joined: 3/5/2011
Msg: 42
Hotwifing
Posted: 5/12/2015 10:30:49 PM

Do you know what's funny? All those single women on the swinger sites, are just desperate women from POF. Seriously! The SAME gals!


While I agree with you that lots of women on adult oriented sites are also members of POF, your profile intro is pretty empty. If you really want to be honest upfront, maybe you need to include your desire of finding a Hotwife.
 Hearton64
Joined: 12/18/2012
Msg: 43
Hotwifing
Posted: 5/13/2015 6:29:32 AM

Don't get involved in someone else's bedroom antics
until or unless you are invited, and if you're not invited,
be respectful about it.


Umm....he invited opinions when he posted in a public forum.

No? And I don't have to respect something I don't respect.

And what chu gonna do about it? Nuthin'.

I have every right to my opinions even if they are in disagreeance
with someone no matter how much you think otherwise.

I'm damn tired of this PC bullsh*t of supporting people
just so as not to offend them. He obviously likes women
with balls but only if they are in total agreeance with his
proclivities?

Sorry, not sorry.i don't see any point in marrying a woman
just to pass her around like a part favor even if she's willing.

Obviously he's going for shock value and whilst I'm not
shocked I think my questions have valid points.

But hey you can defend him if you feel the need.

Won't change my perspectives.

Oh and there is a monumental difference between
the "fun" of posting in forums and a guy who's bored
With swinging so he has to reach deeper into his bag of
kinks to have fun.

Just sayin'

Over and out and won't bother to add anything further.
 shirleywonton01
Joined: 4/30/2015
Msg: 44
Hotwifing
Posted: 5/13/2015 1:40:29 PM
Do you have a broken wanger problem and can enjoy the sex vicariously?

Hate to be the one to say it my friend but sex is a very profound experience if you don't just approach it on a physical level only. IF you develop love, and engage that love in your sex life your need for kink will diminish down to zero. After you bring that love into your sex life you can then perceive some spiritual connection in your monogamous sexual life and it will be so hot that you need to step back from time to time because the sizzle factor is overwhelming. Carry on.
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 45
Hotwifing
Posted: 5/13/2015 1:53:31 PM

Me: "So, do you like good weather?"
She: "Yeah...."
Me: "Great! Me too! How about a 3-some, with him, me, and you?"


Nahhh. In college, I had friends that did that. Would bring a chic to the apartment from a night club and a couple of guys did her. I could never, ever participate. It was not my thing.
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 46
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History
Hotwifing
Posted: 5/13/2015 2:18:58 PM

No? And I don't have to respect something I don't respect.

My comment wasn't directed at you Heart. Not one bit.

Thing is, no one sh*ts on the people that want a heteronormative monogamous relationship... and yet the heteronormative monogamous people feel it's ok to sh*t on people that aren't like them. It's gross and needs to stop.

Don't agree with it? Fine. That's ok. Don't be gross and disrespectful. Treat people like YOU want to be treated.

*scrolls back up and looks closer at what you've posted*
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 47
Hotwifing
Posted: 5/15/2015 8:45:25 AM

a heteronormative monogamous relationship


Holy sh i t. That makes it sound like I have some disease. "Sorry sir, but your diagnosis is you have a heteronormative monogamous relationship. Only shock therapy will work and it will take 3 years and you have a 47% chance of going on remission.
 StarClassic
Joined: 9/29/2014
Msg: 48
Hotwifing
Posted: 5/16/2015 6:19:00 AM



a heteronormative monogamous relationship[/quote



Holy sh i t. That makes it sound like I have some disease. "Sorry sir, but your diagnosis is you have a heteronormative monogamous relationship. Only shock therapy will work and it will take 3 years and you have a 47% chance of going on remission.


Just so long's the pecker don't rot and fall off.

btw: Tell that gal in the pics she's fine as frog's hair.
 bobbertsmithert1
Joined: 5/3/2015
Msg: 49
Hotwifing
Posted: 5/21/2015 9:56:39 AM

Hearton64 said: Just concern as to whom this benefits more....him or her!



Did you really use the word, "concern?" Are you? Really? LMFAO! The only person you are concerned about, is you. Make up your mind! Is this a bad thing, or are you worried/concerned who it benefits? If she loved it and craved it, would that make you happy/less concerned? Please try harder.
 bobbertsmithert1
Joined: 5/3/2015
Msg: 50
Hotwifing
Posted: 5/21/2015 10:15:29 AM

shirleywonton01 said: Do you have a broken wanger problem and can enjoy the sex vicariously?

Hate to be the one to say it my friend but sex is a very profound experience if you don't just approach it on a physical level only. IF you develop love, and engage that love in your sex life your need for kink will diminish down to zero. After you bring that love into your sex life you can then perceive some spiritual connection in your monogamous sexual life and it will be so hot that you need to step back from time to time because the sizzle factor is overwhelming. Carry on.



First of all, you sound brilliant! You should have your own: "Talk to Dr. Shirleywonton Show." (sex therapist, of course)

Broken wanger? So you think that men who like to see their women pleasured by more than one man at once, have a wanger problem? That's it? That's all you got, doc? So, doc, what about your husband, who dreams about having sex with more than one woman at a time. What's his problem? Certainly not a broken wanger. Maybe you are broken? Or, maybe it's just something he likes.

If I did have a broken wanger, I'd very much like to see my wife be pleasured. In that case, not for me, or us, but for her. If you had a broken hoo hoo problem, wouldn't you want the love of your life to be happy? Or would you be selfish and just care about yourself?

As for your spiritual.......monogamy......profound experience...connection.......bliss.......horse krap.....

Tell that to the 22 million members of Ashley Madison. Once they hear your brilliant thoughts, they'll stop cheating on each other.
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