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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Do women run the show early in the relationship? If so how do men fee      Home login  
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 tgif333
Joined: 4/16/2015
Msg: 26
Do women run the show early in the relationship? If so how do men feel about it?Page 2 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
if every single thing you say is true then I believe you are in trouble or you are going to be at some point in the future should you and her take it to another level such as her saying she loves you. I think you already love her.

don't ignore the red flags like I did. but I was told the same thing that she was no good for me and I didn't listen because it felt so good to be in love. if you continue on she's going to cause you more pain than you knew existed.
women like that can just walk away from you and throw you into the trash like last weeks newspaper. I didn't believe she would do that. but she did. don't ignore the red flags.
but like the song says......

I must have been through about a million girls
I'd love 'em then I'd leave 'em alone
I didn't care how much they cried, no sir
Their tears left me cold as a stone

But then I fooled around and fell in love
I fooled around and fell in love, yes I did
 PofLegend
Joined: 5/14/2015
Msg: 27
Do women run the show early in the relationship? If so how do men feel about it?
Posted: 5/23/2015 7:27:01 PM
Thank you all for your comments and insight.

I trust that one day she will become in touch with her true feelings, mature a bit emotionally and be ready for a great guy, I will cut my ties and move on to someone who recognizes me from the start and doesnt keep me around for weeks on her own terms to prove my worth.

Thank you again, hope she reads this read one day and sees what people have to say for real.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 28
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Do women run the show early in the relationship? If so how do men feel about it?
Posted: 5/23/2015 7:49:43 PM
You "insist" on meeting?? You hound her with texts???

It is early days and she is into the sex right now or into the power she has over you. You are an attractive man but she is toying with you. That is about all that is apparent. She likes the fact that she is so desired. She has you by the balls and in all your hundreds of dates experience, you don't see that???

She runs the show because you allow it. You could play a game, turn the tables and play hard to get and then see what happens.

I think you are getting off on the cat and mouse game and if she was suddenly to get keen, be too available, you may run for the hills.

It wont last long. Don't get too involved now. If she is on POF as you are inferring, I am sure she is seeing others.

Tgif33 is so right. I can see the red flags waving from here...

 newoldgirl
Joined: 4/16/2015
Msg: 29
Do women run the show early in the relationship? If so how do men feel about it?
Posted: 5/23/2015 8:41:27 PM

Because she can......... you allow her to run the whole show and you will not be able to turn it around because she'll kick your butt to the curb if you bring it up.


I would agree it's probably too late for this relationship. Next time, start as you mean to continue.

People generally only walk all over you if you let them.
 Strawberry_Jello
Joined: 5/13/2014
Msg: 30
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Do women run the show early in the relationship? If so how do men feel about it?
Posted: 5/23/2015 9:12:47 PM
Yes, everybody's somebody's fool
Everybody's somebody's plaything
And there are no exceptions to the rule
Yes, everybody's somebody's fool
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 31
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Do women run the show early in the relationship? If so how do men feel about it?
Posted: 5/23/2015 9:16:00 PM
You should write that book, and then read it to her, I'm sure she'll believe you. And for gawd sakes, you aren't in love, you just met her two weeks ago, who makes this stuff up, and for what reason? Why would anyone tell you how to gain control over someone who so obviously has all the control and is having a great time laughing about it all. You won't ever be getting any control, you are her lap dog, you know, if any of this was true. And when someone isn't in love with you and isn't going to be and yet will play you, then why in the world would you think you are in love with her? You don't like this, you don't like how she treats you, this isn't about love at all, it any of it were true, this is about drama, being played, and getting off on pretending it's love instead of misery and no kind of relationship at all. Good grief. Take the drama drama drama badge and accept this all for what it is.
 BussOfEsprit
Joined: 10/10/2014
Msg: 32
Do women run the show early in the relationship? If so how do men feel about it?
Posted: 5/23/2015 9:28:36 PM

I also notice a pattern with her, check this out: When I give her attention she eventually gets bored of it and seeks it else where such as POF or other guys etc.. If I pull back and do my own thing she then does not get enough attention and seeks it else where again, rinse repeat



The one that cares the least has ALL the power... the more inequity there, the greater you'll notice the difference

and I agree with "daynadaze" because you're not in love!
 GattoMonstrosis
Joined: 4/4/2013
Msg: 33
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Do women run the show early in the relationship? If so how do men feel about it?
Posted: 5/23/2015 11:12:21 PM
If she is running the show it's because you are abdicating it to her by not putting yourself forward, you are allowed to say "Sorry, that doesn't work for me" you know.
I personally don't think it should be about who is in control, it's not about power and who has it, it should be about both of you working together to reach a common ground where you can move forwards, but it sounds like you're saying there isn't any, you are only together because you haven't made an issue of it not working for you. You need to talk to each other about that, if you can't accommodate each other what have you got?
 GattoMonstrosis
Joined: 4/4/2013
Msg: 34
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Do women run the show early in the relationship? If so how do men feel about it?
Posted: 5/23/2015 11:14:54 PM

I am not a "beta" male I am one of the top daters in POF history, been here for 10 years, dated around 200-300 women on this site, had several long term relationships. Can write a book on dating and relating.


That many dates and you still haven't learned the basics? What are you doing, dating in a coma?
 VolkanoKing
Joined: 8/1/2014
Msg: 35
Do women run the show early in the relationship? If so how do men feel about it?
Posted: 5/23/2015 11:18:59 PM
He's dated 200-300 women and has to come to a dating site to learn how to do the ol' smackdown on a woman who *essentially is acting exactly has he had always acted, in charge and setting the pace.*

If this is even real, any of it. If so, sorry dude..looks like you've met the female version..of you. No way you can "make her obey" and change her. Better to find someone more apt to roll over for you.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 36
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Do women run the show early in the relationship? If so how do men feel about it?
Posted: 5/23/2015 11:41:57 PM
You are wrong about women not wanting to control relationships, many do if the guy allows it. Naturally the girl at present is beautiful and hot or you would not be jumping through hoops for her right now. The ideal relationship is where both are equal and no one person has all the control. One day you will look back on this and wonder why you were such a fool for this woman. You could say it is karma for the way you have treated women in the past, if any of it is true.
 Eternitygracesme
Joined: 5/18/2015
Msg: 37
Do women run the show early in the relationship? If so how do men feel about it?
Posted: 5/24/2015 1:11:15 AM
Maybe you're an obliging subbie? Some men prefer this status and position in women's lives?
 motowncowgirl
Joined: 3/24/2015
Msg: 38
Do women run the show early in the relationship? If so how do men feel about it?
Posted: 5/24/2015 4:07:18 AM

I am one of the top daters in POF history, been here for 10 years, dated around 200-300 women on this site, had several long term relationships. Can write a book on dating and relating.

then you should be able to answer your own question.


I am just wanting to know why she feels she can run the show?

because she can.
 Peppermint_Petunias
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 39
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Do women run the show early in the relationship? If so how do men feel about it?
Posted: 5/24/2015 4:07:39 AM
Janets right and you are wrong.
If she gave a *shat*, she would care what you want/feel.

You def will be alone soon. She will have no respect for you and when she meets the one that she does care about you go bye bye.

In your case it would seem this one has all control. So she either is paying your mortgage or you are PW-d

You give her that control, she cant just take it. I dont see where you have tried to be dominant or stand up and make decisions yourself in your op.

Try not being at her beck and call for a few days/weeks and see how that goes.
If she loses interest then..she didnt care anyway.




What do I have to do to make the relationship more equal?

Change how you respond to her whims.

No, I want to do x, if you want to do x I would love your company, if not maybe I'll have to see you another time or we just may not be a good match.

Talk to her, not us.

I wouldn't stand for that sh1t myself ( long anyway)
WHY are you? You think about that.
You def arent happy about it.
 motowncowgirl
Joined: 3/24/2015
Msg: 40
Do women run the show early in the relationship? If so how do men feel about it?
Posted: 5/24/2015 5:10:26 AM

So I am confused here, if a woman has all the power why do women love a guy who takes charge? How can a guy take lead when a girl pretty much has the final say on how fast the relationship goes, how does a man take back control?

....woman vs. women. see?

someone is very uncomfortable with the idea of not being 'in control'. emotional struggle ensues. much merriment in the forums.


hope she reads this read one day and sees what people have to say for real.

how passive, how indirect, how beta male. :wink:


 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 41
Do women run the show early in the relationship? If so how do men feel about it?
Posted: 5/24/2015 5:35:15 AM
OP - you have said on other of your threads you hope she reads this one day - are you texting her and telling her to view what has been written? You also said she ended it so yea, she does have " all the power" as she isn't WITH you.
Hope you switched Realtors this must be uncomfortable for everyone.
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 42
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Do women run the show early in the relationship? If so how do men feel about it?
Posted: 5/24/2015 5:53:40 AM
As others have said, already, this ISN'T 'love' only infatuation and obsession....

Loving someone after two weeks is an impossibility...you have NO clue who she really is, and so far, every time she DOES show you who she is, you are attempting to change her into someone else....

As far as power and control in a relationship, well, if you're thinking in those terms then that suggests to me that you are not really ready for an adult and mature relationship, where each partner has rights and is equally respected by the other...

Mature adults DON'T play games with their partner, and that goes equally for both men and women....

They understand that is the most sure-fire way to ensure that you both will end up in a pointless power struggle that won't end well, and that is NOT what you do when you 'love' another person....They also get that is the BEST way to ensure LOTS of mistrust and confusion, and again, that's just NOT conducive to having a healthy relationship with another person...

Here's hoping that you will stick to your decision to leave this budding 'sick' situation alone and go and find yourself someone who feels about you as you do about them, and who ISN'T a 'fixer upper'....
 cassie_smiles
Joined: 5/13/2015
Msg: 43
Do women run the show early in the relationship? If so how do men feel about it?
Posted: 5/24/2015 5:56:58 AM

I am not a "beta" male I am one of the top daters in POF history, been here for 10 years, dated around 200-300 women on this site, had several long term relationships. Can write a book on dating and relating.


I find this humorous . Wasn't there a deleted profile who bragged he had dated about 250 women, another woman that has dated 150 men and then there is the legend of POF, Cowboy, who dated upwards to 400 women. Now this new guy. All give or gave dating advice but none have been successful to date, even Cowboy still has a profile here.
 __TEXASCHICK__
Joined: 11/9/2011
Msg: 44
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Do women run the show early in the relationship? If so how do men feel about it?
Posted: 5/24/2015 6:26:02 AM
''So in a way she does care, and she is into it, I am just wanting to know why she feels she can run the show?''

Sounds like you are all but hurt because YOU aren't running the show.
---------------pfft some men
 DietFree
Joined: 11/1/2012
Msg: 45
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Do women run the show early in the relationship? If so how do men feel about it?
Posted: 5/24/2015 6:32:44 AM
Wow!!!
300 women in ten years! And some of them were long relationships....he is THE top dater!!!

Soooooo, the Op must average one girl per month....he must be in the flavour of the month club.

He'll probably write a book on how to keep a woman for 30 days or less.
 Siennarh
Joined: 5/1/2015
Msg: 46
Do women run the show early in the relationship? If so how do men feel about it?
Posted: 5/24/2015 11:01:25 AM
The one who is the most desperate for anything relationship wise, be that sex or attention will be the one with the least power and vice versa. One least desperate and least caring about these aspects will be the one giving it. It becomes kind of like a supply demand thing, with the female controlling the supply.

The thing is, power is only where it is perceived to be, a lot of the time. All it would take, in your situation is if you had not done any chasing, the power couldn't of ever swayed in her favor. Either she would accept it or she is the kind that is obsessed with that power and would leave when she can't have it.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 47
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Do women run the show early in the relationship? If so how do men feel about it?
Posted: 5/24/2015 12:03:31 PM

I am miserable lol.. So true.

I said I dated 200 women in a certain time, but in reality a lot more than that. Let's just say I lived a fantastic life in that regard, but with this particular girl I am not sure why she got a hold on me. I know I should let her go, she demonstrated nothing but indifference towards me so I think I will do just that, just took some time for me to realize it.

I also notice a pattern with her, check this out: When I give her attention she eventually gets bored of it and seeks it else where such as POF or other guys etc.. If I pull back and do my own thing she then does not get enough attention and seeks it else where again, rinse repeat.

Girls like that are not satisfied unless it is done over an extended period of time on their terms, users/abusers eh? I never found one who got to me before but she did, and never again will I allow a girl to hurt me like that. This experience just made me stronger than ever, and I applaud her for that.


Well. Sounds as though you have figured it out yourself, most of the way.

Friendly extra nudge: the way you presented this, suggests to me that you have been wildly oversimplifying relationships until now.

Women don't come in just TWO "flavors," when it comes to the whole control versus catering stuff. There's a whole range. Even the ones who think they "like a guy who takes control," don't necessarily like a guy who ACTUALLY controls everything, many of them simply want a guy who gives the appearance of being tough, so that their ego gets a stroke every time the "strong guy" gives in to them.

The above description of her, makes her appear to be someone who actually isn't in to you, at all. Just herself, and you serve a certain role in her personal fantasy.

Of course, all we know is what you chance to say you think you see, so there's always that cautionary note.
 rennips1949
Joined: 3/6/2015
Msg: 48
Do women run the show early in the relationship? If so how do men feel about it?
Posted: 5/24/2015 2:08:24 PM

so I am out of options

Yes you are.

I am looking for advice.

No you aren't.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 49
Do women run the show early in the relationship? If so how do men feel about it?
Posted: 5/24/2015 6:09:25 PM
to heck with him writing a book, who wants to learn how to be the sucker who buys dinner in order to teach a woman to learn a lesson?" SHE should be writing the book, she's the one in charge of the relationship.

"How to get a self-obessed man to obsess of you" by Juanita Notherchance.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 50
Do women run the show early in the relationship? If so how do men feel about it?
Posted: 5/24/2015 7:09:57 PM

The one that cares the least has ALL the power... the more inequity there, the greater you'll notice the difference.

I second (or third or forth or fifth...?) this. When I care to any extent I will include the person I am dating in the plans for the relationship (or what's perceived to be the relationship). When I don't care at all he can do it my way or not do it at all - either is fine by me.
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