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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Do women run the show early in the relationship? If so how do men fee      Home login  
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 sigungq
Joined: 1/4/2013
Msg: 76
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Do women run the show early in the relationship? If so how do men feel about it?Page 4 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
OP, if men ran the show early in the relationship, I would have had over 400 dates by now, or at least quite a few before marrying one of them.
 PenelopeLeChat
Joined: 7/29/2014
Msg: 77
real men can handle it
Posted: 5/27/2015 8:52:02 PM


Referring to the Wizard of Oz, the exact quote is


Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain


And you’re right, there are many, many interpretations.


And here I thought it was saying the Wizard isn't a Wizard after all. Just a bumbling fool, pulling strings behind the scenes....
 Hearton64
Joined: 12/18/2012
Msg: 78
Do women run the show early in the relationship? If so how do men feel about it?
Posted: 5/28/2015 7:29:12 AM

I have come across one woman lately in all my 15 years of dating experience
that has been a game changer for me, and this is something I am still trying
to get over. I am a dominant type of a guy, who always set the pace, set the
limits for girls, always knew what to do and how to be...
this girl is the first one who pretty much made me break my own rules for.



Doesn't sound like you have broken your own rules
sounds like she's take your power away.

Big difference.

So now you know how it feels to be as powerless
As the women have felt in your past.

Not all women want to be controlled or dominated.
I sure don't!
Just curious when you say "date" does that mean you've
had sex with 200-300 women?

If so.....yuck.
 PofLegend
Joined: 5/14/2015
Msg: 79
Do women run the show early in the relationship? If so how do men feel about it?
Posted: 5/28/2015 10:11:17 AM
Yes in my 15 years of so dating I had the pleasure of being in 4 long term relationships that took up 13 of those 15 years.

In the years I am single I usually go on 2-3 dates a week consistently, 90% of those dates end up in a hook up of one degree or another, or the possibility of more. I feel quite accomplished in my online dating abilities, however as a result of my whole life being dedicated to dating and hooking up with women I have neglected a lot of other things in my life.

Such as friends, hobbies, interests.. At 31 I can see how detrimental it is now, and how a woman can see right through you if you make your self too available, I totally get it.
 CrookCatcher
Joined: 7/14/2014
Msg: 80
Do women run the show early in the relationship? If so how do men feel about it?
Posted: 5/28/2015 10:18:32 AM

In the years I am single I usually go on 2-3 dates a week consistently, 90% of those dates end up in a hook up of one degree or another, or the possibility of more. I feel quite accomplished in my online dating abilities, however as a result of my whole life being dedicated to dating and hooking up with women I have neglected a lot of other things in my life.


A complete load of crap.....
 Eternitygracesme
Joined: 5/18/2015
Msg: 81
Do women run the show early in the relationship? If so how do men feel about it?
Posted: 5/28/2015 10:25:45 AM


In the years I am single I usually go on 2-3 dates a week consistently, 90% of those dates end up in a hook up of one degree or another,


What the hell is up with an onslaught of delusional POF bizarros, as of late?
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 82
Do women run the show early in the relationship? If so how do men feel about it?
Posted: 5/28/2015 10:40:35 AM
First of all, you're not a relationship expert, Mr. Beta Male, you're a dating expert in that you have managed to at least get that far. By your own numbers you've averaged anywhere between 25 and 30 dates per year which would mean that you've not had any "long term relationships" in the past 10 years you state you've been on POF.

Secondly, women don't automatically want the guy to be in control in the way that you state. Women like men to take turns making decisions and making moves. If they don't take the initiative themselves, yes, they likely aren't as interested in you as you would like them to be.

It sounds to me like you're jumping all over her in an attempt to please her in an effort to keep her and she's probably finding you a little bit clingy in your attempts to please. You expect her to jump and send a text back to you for instance. People do have lives and although they may think the world of you, it doesn't mean that they drop everything to respond to you instantaneously all the time.

If you don't like what she's doing, communicate that with her - that's part of a relationship. Maybe that's part of your problem. You're so used to operating in dating mode that you really don't understand the relationship aspect of things.

Edit: Ok, so now you say "Yes in my 15 years of so dating I had the pleasure of being in 4 long term relationships that took up 13 of those 15 years."

This means you must have started "dating" at around age 16. What the frick is your definition of a longer term relationship if you've had four of them in 13 years? 3 1/2 years each, most of which were as an adolescent or 20-something, which leaves you with 2 years to have dated 300 people. Yup...still boils down to a guy able to land a date but not having the wherewithal yet to know what it takes to maintain an adult relationship. As I said above...communicate with HER about what you feel is lacking - not the people on a forum - we don't know what her desires are, you will only know that by discussing it with her and fixing your perceived problems.
 sigungq
Joined: 1/4/2013
Msg: 83
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Do women run the show early in the relationship? If so how do men feel about it?
Posted: 5/28/2015 8:57:42 PM

eternitygracesme wrote:

What the hell is up with an onslaught of delusional POF bizarros, as of late?


LMAO!!!! Isn't that the truth???? BTW, if eternity bores you, you would hate the continuum........
 clooneystutor
Joined: 3/8/2015
Msg: 84
Do women run the show early in the relationship? If so how do men feel about it?
Posted: 5/28/2015 9:10:03 PM
A legend in his own mind...

A callused hand is painful indeed.
 Mentisnow
Joined: 6/29/2014
Msg: 85
Do women run the show early in the relationship? If so how do men feel about it?
Posted: 5/31/2015 12:18:50 AM
Not only at the beginning, some run the show til the end.
Do women run the show early in the relationship? If so how do men feel about it?
Posted: 5/31/2015 1:40:07 PM

Do women run the show early in the relationship? If so how do men feel about it?

Another silly question. Depends on who you are, and who she is. Not some intrinsic universal law of nature.
 BussOfEsprit
Joined: 10/10/2014
Msg: 87
Do women run the show early in the relationship? If so how do men feel about it?
Posted: 5/31/2015 1:56:57 PM
Ummm (kid back of the classroom, slumped in seat, hand half-raised, nervously hoping no one is paying too much attention) I have a friend who wants to know where I can find the POF rankings of the Top POF daters? Are the rankings annually? Is there an entry fee if I signed up?
 Bachelorette.Number1
Joined: 4/18/2013
Msg: 88
Do women run the show early in the relationship? If so how do men feel about it?
Posted: 6/4/2015 9:58:45 PM
Ha! like that one! (up there)

I only read the 1st page and the one above me - dude why don't you try this-
Call her on the phone and say, hey I want to go see The Godfather part 10, do you want to go with me?
If she says, yuck, I hated the godfather part 9 and 8 wasn't any better, so no, I'd rather see Oprah Winfreys Life Story again.

Then you say, ok bunny, I hate to miss you cause you know how much I love your snatch but I'm going to go see The Godfather part 10 with my cousin Anthony then, but I'll surprise you with 2 tickets to Oprah Winfreys Life Story that you can go see with your Grandma, k? Love you!

Or do you say, Oprah Winfreys Life Story? ummmmmmmm wellllllll, ok then....

So which is it?
 OogaBooga68
Joined: 4/14/2015
Msg: 89
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Do women run the show early in the relationship? If so how do men feel about it?
Posted: 6/5/2015 1:25:50 AM

however as a result of my whole life being dedicated to dating and hooking up with women I have neglected a lot of other things in my life.

Such as friends, hobbies, interests.. At 31 I can see how detrimental it is now, and how a woman can see right through you


It looks like our young padawan is finally learning the ropes. You have nothing to offer other than your "skill" *cough* *cough* at dating, and hooking up with women.

You're beginning to realize that having friends, hobbies, and a life, are what actually make most people interesting, and are beginning to realize how detrimental this is to you being a well rounded and attractive human being.

And yes.... Unfortunately, a vast majority of women can see right through you, which is more than likely the reason you've had to go on so many "dates", without ever scoring a LTR out of them.

But hey! Look on the bright side! You may actually be figuring out where you constantly go wrong.

My 2 cents... For free, by the way... Stop dating and start living. Once you get a life(don't mean this in a bad way), then feel free to dip your toes back into the dating pool. Until then, you're probably just good for free dinners and casual sex for all of these fantastic women you're dating. Lucky them!

Oh and lastly...
I feel quite accomplished in my online dating abilities


You should get over this... You're not doing as well as you think you are my friend.
 Eternitygracesme
Joined: 5/18/2015
Msg: 90
Do women run the show early in the relationship? If so how do men feel about it?
Posted: 6/5/2015 1:34:19 AM

LMAO!!!! Isn't that the truth???? BTW, if eternity bores you, you would hate the continuum........


Eternity graces me, now, and I'm doomed with very little patience.

Cheers. :)
 Eternitygracesme
Joined: 5/18/2015
Msg: 91
Do women run the show early in the relationship? If so how do men feel about it?
Posted: 6/5/2015 1:36:30 AM

It looks like our young padawan is finally learning the ropes. You have nothing to offer other than your "skill" *cough* *cough* at dating, and hooking up with women.


..for nothing, maybe a free bread and breakfast, a couch surf here and there (all expenses paid) and maybe some down time with Mary Palmer and her five nieces.
 tgif333
Joined: 4/16/2015
Msg: 92
Do women run the show early in the relationship? If so how do men feel about it?
Posted: 6/21/2015 9:08:40 PM

In the years I am single I usually go on 2-3 dates a week consistently, 90% of those dates end up in a hook up of one degree or another


I believe you.

the ladies were waiting on the street corner and asked you if you wanted a date.

those kind usually DO end up in hook ups.
 pepperstrand
Joined: 1/25/2015
Msg: 93
Do women run the show early in the relationship? If so how do men feel about it?
Posted: 9/17/2015 3:09:33 PM
You might want to try to use your head that is attached to your neck, not the other one. She is leading you around like a puppy. Until you mature and realize it is not looks that make a woman beautiful but her personality there is not hope for you. Sorry, sad but true. Why do you think there are so many ugly fat women out there that get hot men? Personality always trumps beauty. Would you really want to be with someone that disrespects you for the rest of your life?
 pepperstrand
Joined: 1/25/2015
Msg: 94
Do women run the show early in the relationship? If so how do men feel about it?
Posted: 9/17/2015 3:12:47 PM
Looked you up and no profile.
 NJgirl116
Joined: 7/3/2015
Msg: 95
Do women run the show early in the relationship? If so how do men feel about it?
Posted: 9/17/2015 4:10:43 PM
Actually I've seen a relationship book that said the opposite, men call the shots early in the game.

I think whoever is less interested is more in control.
 tangofish
Joined: 6/16/2015
Msg: 96
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Do women run the show early in the relationship? If so how do men feel about it?
Posted: 9/17/2015 7:06:22 PM
I agree with nj, the person with options has the greatest advantage. There is the exception of honest people. Sadly that breed is rare and elusive.

The mainstay are the lonely, the desperate, the indifferent, the opportunists, and the greedy.

The lonely and the desperate are chasers. The runners are the opportunists who feign interest, the indifferent who are hard to please, and the greedy who juggle.

Hate to break it to humanity... But gender isn't a determining factor for anything concrete. So you're going to have to accept that both men and women are both equally capable of sociopathic behavior. Especially considering that socioeconomic income is relatively balanced. Historically you could say men were far greater perpetrators of sociopathic behavior.

But not anymore, sorry... You're all going to have to learn to accept each person as an individual. You're going to have to hold yourselves accountable for being taken advantage of... as opposed to pointing your finger at a gender and screaming "evil".

That's the cowards way out by the way. Personal accountability, patience, and accepting that life isn't fair will free a tormented soul. I preach the gospel of wellness.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 97
they go home and get a grip
Posted: 9/17/2015 7:38:41 PM
The ones who have more options...are also the ones who get chased. We don't bother to go after the proverbial bird in hand, we work to win over the ones who see us as an option, keeping in our own reserve the people we see as a fall-back option.

so, ironically, we create the situation where we're chasing someone who is not so easy for us to pick up, b/c that person is worth working to get.
 tangofish
Joined: 6/16/2015
Msg: 98
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History
they go home and get a grip
Posted: 9/17/2015 8:25:50 PM
Exactly, and this is a consumer dating economy.

Learning to appreciate the car you drive, caring for it, and not junking it or trading it in when it needs a little maintenance is key.

So the question is: What is the sound of settling?

I think this county has a philosophical problem on its hands. And I think marketing, consumption, and greed have poisoned our souls.

No more impulse buys everyone, we've gone bankrupt on selling, and our credit is in the red.
 MaleFeasance
Joined: 3/13/2015
Msg: 99
Do women run the show early in the relationship? If so how do men feel about it?
Posted: 9/17/2015 8:32:52 PM
I agree with nj, the person with options has the greatest advantage.
-----------
Everyone has the option to say no and unlike yes, no does not require agreement.

------------
Actually I've seen a relationship book that said the opposite, men call the shots early in the game.
-----------
No, not really, depending on how desperate a guy is to get laid. If he doesn't care either way, then it's a tossup. However, my personal experience had been that once I have sex with someone, what happens afterward is up to me. Women seem to take the relationship part for granted after that and I can't recall dating anyone who didn't.
 Whatsamatterbaby
Joined: 5/6/2015
Msg: 100
Do women run the show early in the relationship? If so how do men feel about it?
Posted: 9/17/2015 8:50:37 PM
Dating as a competition for power... It warms the heart.
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