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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Another cheap tipper      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Siennarh
Joined: 5/1/2015
Msg: 26
i might disagreePage 2 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

Most of the people you tip are making 2.63
WTF
are you serious?
Minimum here I could legally get paid is like 19 bucks or something. Depends on age though. The younger
people get paid less but there is a set amount.
 Strawberry_Jello
Joined: 5/13/2014
Msg: 27
view profile
History
i might disagree
Posted: 5/27/2015 10:29:35 AM
I agree, it shouldn't have been a standoff. If I had known it was going to go that way I would have quietly left a tip after he got up from the table. But who wants to live like that? I'm looking for someone who is flexible, and has a sense of humor. He ain't it.
 import_from_uk
Joined: 5/12/2015
Msg: 28
i might disagree
Posted: 5/27/2015 10:37:44 AM

WTF
are you serious?
Minimum here I could legally get paid is like 19 bucks or something. Depends on age though. The younger
people get paid less but there is a set amount.


Some states exclude wait staff from being eligible from min wage because of the presumed tipped. That's a whole new conversation about passing on staffing costs to the general public and making it the customers responsibility to "pay" adequately rather than the employers.

Also, $19 is higher than many places min wage. Here is NS, min. wage is $10.40 for someone with experience. Less for an inexperienced employee. I think there are some provinces who are lower.
 CrookCatcher
Joined: 7/14/2014
Msg: 29
i might disagree
Posted: 5/27/2015 10:39:03 AM

But who wants to live like that? I'm looking for someone who is flexible, and has a sense of humor. He ain't it.


I think spontaneous flexiblility in this example should have come from your side of the table...imo. He did nothing to be considered cheap and controlling. And to be honest your reaction took whatever chance at humor there could have been and trashed it. That's just my perspective from what you posted though.....to each their own. Better luck next time. :)
 norwegianguy123
Joined: 10/27/2014
Msg: 30
Another cheap tipper
Posted: 5/27/2015 10:44:19 AM

I pulled out a $5.00 bill and put it on the table. I explained I'm a former waitress and I don't just go by %, I like to tip generously. He refused to take his $2.00 back, and told me if I don't take my $5.00 back, the waitress was going to get $7.00.

You can argue that just a $2 tip is small even if the bill's small, and that's when to hit 25-30% because that's just chump change anyway. But throwing down a 50% extra tip after the 20% tip? Easy! He should be chuckling at ya, wtf. :)

I could see you throwing down an extra dollar saying "We barely ordered anything but still had to be tended to. That's where tipping more than 20% comes in." But again, 50% on top of his 20%? Not necessary unless there was stuff going on where you two were holding her up all day lol

I'm thinking this might be a good way to eliminate cheapskates and control freaks on the first meet.

To be fair, scoffing at someone NOT throwing down $7 total for a $10 bill is going to make someone defensive (hence, "control freak" attitude from them). You could say that guy was a cheapskate somewhat -- but actually it wasn't HIS money being thrown down, right? After all, you said you were getting the tip but he still threw down 20%. He'd be a control freak if you threw down an extra buck, but saying "I used to be a waitress" is saying that 20% isn't enough -- and that he's a cheapsake for just $2. Which, he would be if he Refused to put down $3 -- but after all, you said you were getting the tip, so just throw in an extra buck or something! :)

If he were an actual cheapskate, he'd pick up his own $2 back. He refused to -- so no, he wasn't being a cheapskate.

If I were him, I'd take the $2 and give it to you, but I would assume you'd just throw it back on the table -- so then you couldn't call me a Control freak or a cheapskate (a mere 50% tip?) -- just a guy who rightfully disagrees with your 70% tip even on a cheap menu. :)
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/18/2015
Msg: 31
i might disagree
Posted: 5/27/2015 10:47:25 AM

WTF
are you serious?
Minimum here I could legally get paid is like 19 bucks or something. Depends on age though. The younger
people get paid less but there is a set amount.


The federal minimum wage for tipped employees is 7.25.
That means between their wages AND tips, they need to make 7.25.
That means their employer can pay them 4.00 an hour and they assume
the difference will be made up with tips.

Tipped employees who don't meet the min can also apply for unemployment
for low wages.

Of course the min wage differs from state to state.
But, for the most part, the hourly wage of most waitstaff is less than 7.25 and
more than likely 4.00 per hour.

I agree the tipped wage system is pretty f'd up, but I'm not going to punish the
waitstaff for the screwed up situation.
 eternalrealist2015
Joined: 4/23/2015
Msg: 32
i might disagree
Posted: 5/27/2015 11:04:37 AM

I think spontaneous flexiblility in this example should have come from your side of the table...imo. He did nothing to be considered cheap and controlling. And to be honest your reaction took whatever chance at humor there could have been and trashed it. That's just my perspective from what you posted though.....to each their own. Better luck next time. :)


I concur with CC here. I don't think that the OP's handling of this indicated much flexibility or humor on her part either. I still stick with my theory that she didn't really like him very well... Either that is her #1 pet peeve of all time (which she might even want to offer before the tip comes - kind of like the guy who can't stand anyone who is overweight - why not put these things up front?) or she didn't like him a whole lot.

OP how would you like it if someone you just met clearly showed disapproval of something you were doing or handling? Would you find that humorous? Would you attempt to make a joke to lighten the mood? Would you change your behavior to try to appear to be flexible?

If I really liked someone - someone I was dating, a family member, a friend and they didn't tip as much as I would, I think it would be perfectly fine to just throw a few more bills discreetly on the table. Personally I don't see that as a bad way to live.

As I said earlier, I do that with my Mom all the time and I adore her. But our views on that particular issue are different.
 Strawberry_Jello
Joined: 5/13/2014
Msg: 33
view profile
History
i might disagree
Posted: 5/27/2015 11:08:54 AM
Federal minimum wage for tipped employees is $2.13 an hour. Some states have a higher minimum.
http://www.dol.gov/whd/state/tipped.htm.
 Eric_Summit
Joined: 11/3/2009
Msg: 34
i might disagree
Posted: 5/27/2015 11:47:57 AM
Strawberry_Jello...look at the bright side of things. You created a hurdle for him that he didn't know existed.
Unbeknownst to him, he stumbled over that hurdle secretively placed in the romantic pathway. Now you have the comfort of knowing you will never have to interact with him again. It only required one hour of your time. Easy!
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 35
i might disagree
Posted: 5/27/2015 12:07:48 PM

I eat out alone more often than with people,


Ditto.


most waitstaff tend to treat me as tho the tip's gonna be little anyway--in other words, not very attentive


Ditto.
So I don't disappoint them.
The stories I could tell.


for the sake of argument, TIP is actually an acronym that stands for To Insure Prompt Service. it used to be voluntary not expected


A historical fact lost in our present world of entitlement.

From Wikipedia:
"Tipping is a widely practiced social custom in the United States. Tipping by definition is voluntary. In restaurants offering traditional table service,[57] a gratuity of 15% of the amount of a customer’s check is customary when good service is provided. Higher tips may be given for excellent service, and lower tips for mediocre service. In the case of bad or rude service no tip may be given, and the restaurant manager may be notified of the problem."

15% is standard, 20% is above standard.

20% is NOT a cheap tipper.
 Siennarh
Joined: 5/1/2015
Msg: 36
i might disagree
Posted: 5/27/2015 12:23:07 PM
That is so little. God you guys should try guessing how much the psychiatrist I went and saw charger per hr.
Guessss
$507 /hr
but he works by 45 min shift thingys at 380/45min
 SunshineGirl__
Joined: 10/7/2014
Msg: 37
Another cheap tipper
Posted: 5/27/2015 12:30:25 PM
Why is HE responsible for the tip YOU want to leave? He was gracious enough to treat you to dinner (or whatever) and leave a tip. You should not have been checking it out like Mummy or a teacher and reprimanding him, which was probably overheard by others and embarrassed him.

He didn’t like you enough to “please” you? Treating you to dinner wasn’t enough? You wanted to leave a 50% tip so he’s a controlling cheapskate?

Sounds to me like you were trying to please the waitress more than your date.

Also you should probably put on your profile that you expect dates to leave huge tips because you were once a waitress, as if that is totally justifiable.
 clooneystutor
Joined: 3/8/2015
Msg: 38
Another cheap tipper
Posted: 5/27/2015 1:04:24 PM
No second date from him doesn't have to equal a shame fest on the guy afterwards.

All this talk of about the inexpenses.

Inexpensive restaurant, small tip, light meal.

Seems to me like the date was sour as soon as you both sat down.

It happens, but instead of critiquing his behavior, accept the fact that there was no chemistry, and that was the problem...
 tgif333
Joined: 4/16/2015
Msg: 39
Another cheap tipper
Posted: 5/27/2015 1:15:47 PM

if you can't afford to go out and pay
a tip to someone who is making 3-4 dollars an hour, stay home.


the question some might ask is why are service personnel settling for $3 - $4 an hour.

why not become a CEO and make millions?
why not become a doctor and make multi millions?
why not flip houses and make tens of thousands?
why not be a landlord and own an apartment complex?
why not own a tanning salon and gym?
why not be a painter or a carpenter and make a decent wage?

oh yeah I remember why now. they decided not to go or they were not able to go to college or they decided it would be an easy path just to do as little as possible with their human potential. they may have decided it was smart to have a child at 18 years of age or any number of things that set them on the server career path.

we make decisions in life and we should ask ourselves this question:
is my life in the hands of others by tipping or do I take the bull by the horns and make my own life's choices to become financially stabile?

end result - life isn't fair.
 Eternitygracesme
Joined: 5/18/2015
Msg: 40
Another cheap tipper
Posted: 5/27/2015 1:21:46 PM

it was smart to have a child at 18 years of age


I did: I went to college, owned a small business in another state, and I now work for myself, again. I even managed to travel, get married (and divorced), have relationships, traveled some more, and will return to school for a higher degree after I travel for a project related to what I do. :)
 tgif333
Joined: 4/16/2015
Msg: 41
Another cheap tipper
Posted: 5/27/2015 1:24:21 PM
you did great Eternity. you pulled yourself up by your bootstraps and that is to be commended.


Sweet Sienna said:



That is so little. God you guys should try guessing how much the psychiatrist I went and saw charger per hr.
Guessss
$507 /hr
but he works by 45 min shift thingys at 380/45min



that IS a lot of dough SugarLips but please remember that one American dollar is equal to 1.3 Australian dollar.
 Eternitygracesme
Joined: 5/18/2015
Msg: 42
Another cheap tipper
Posted: 5/27/2015 1:26:23 PM
^^It's all relative, TGIF.
 dragonbytes
Joined: 12/25/2014
Msg: 43
Another cheap tipper
Posted: 5/27/2015 1:39:25 PM
"If an employee's tips combined with the employer's direct wages of at least $2.13 an hour do not equal the federal minimum hourly wage, the employer must make up the difference. Some states have minimum wage laws specific to tipped employees."

So they are not totally dependent on tips, maybe 40 years ago it was different.


why not become a CEO and make millions?
why not become a doctor and make multi millions?
why not flip houses and make tens of thousands?


When you take a serious look at these people like CEO's, their parents had money and influence. Rarely are their parents middle class, at most upper-middle-class families, and it has to be less than 1% that come from really poor areas.

The secret is to be born to wealthy parents.
 coffeetogo127
Joined: 5/16/2015
Msg: 44
Another cheap tipper
Posted: 5/27/2015 2:11:17 PM
You know, someone has to work at these minimum wage jobs. It seems to me that if someone is working hard, and is diligent, they should at least be able to make enough to live on. Not everyone is academically inclined or able to pursue the jobs you were talking about tgif.

And even if they were, who is going to serve your dinner at a restaurant? Or would we have no restaurants then?

I don't think we should put down people for working an honest job, nor for wanting to earn a decent wage.
 ItsNotAlwaysArt
Joined: 4/16/2015
Msg: 45
Another cheap tipper
Posted: 5/27/2015 2:11:21 PM

I do not understand the American tipping system.

You Americans are a strange bunch.


+1, and I was born here.
 MaleFeasance
Joined: 3/13/2015
Msg: 46
Another cheap tipper
Posted: 5/27/2015 3:08:17 PM
Personally, I think observing someone's behaviour in a restaurant (or bar) will tell you a lot about how that person treats other people and how you will be treated.
 springorfall
Joined: 5/17/2015
Msg: 47
view profile
History
Another cheap tipper
Posted: 5/27/2015 3:41:35 PM
He wanted to pay and put down 20% - a typical tip. I think that was fine and really, it was a little insensitive to protest and insist on paying more in front of him. I would (and have) left a tip without the person I was with seeing, if I wanted to leave more for the server - that way they're taken care of and the other person doesn't feel that there's a judgment been made on them being cheap.
 Millionpaws
Joined: 5/16/2015
Msg: 48
Another cheap tipper
Posted: 5/27/2015 3:42:11 PM
Ahh ItsNotAlwaysArt...

Be still my beating heart.
A handsome man, who likes water, is articulate, intelligent and can make beautiful things?

Stay right where you are...
I am on my way.

_________________________

Ahh the realities of geography.

______________________________


Where did you go?

Or is it a case of my overactive imagination....... AGAIN
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 49
view profile
History
Another cheap tipper
Posted: 5/27/2015 3:47:40 PM

+1, and I was born here.


Agreed. In Japan tipping would be considered insulting. It is funny because my cousin lives in Hawaii and was a waitress when younger. She always complained about no tips from the Europeans and Asians(Germans the most stingy bunch from my own experience).

It seems to be an American tradition. I got no problem with it..HERE. Although tipping bartenders never made sense to me( pouring drinks is their job) or cab drivers. But what I don't like is the 15% is expected. It once meant someone went out of their way to take care of you. Today in most non elite establishments(chain restaurants) you get mostly attitude. They literally pester you until you leave because they want to clear tables.

As for what the op did. Well it is her god damn given right to leave what ever she wants. But 7 bucks for carrying over a cup of tea and salad? MOST of us are in the wrong business. The waitress imho didn't earn that. She didn't have to hustle much to do that particular job.

I also don't blame the guy for raising the eyebrow over the EXCESSIVE tip. I have observed how "tipping culture "can go bad. In fact it ruined much of Eastern Europe. Before you had just terrible service , terrible food. Now you have it and it costs you MORE lol.

I saw how middle class American expats decided to tip excessively in a culture that had no custom of it. So in the end a sense of entitlement came about but service was still BAD and the establishments figured if the Americans are so rich and generous that they will easily part with their money that they should scam them as well.

Moral of story: don't fix what isn't broken!

Good service=15%
Outstanding service=15%-20%
Less than good= 0%-5%


Geez...if you can't afford to go out and pay
a tip to someone who is making 3-4 dollars an hour, stay home.


Good point I suppose. But I guess you missed the lack of patrons going out to eat during the Great Recession. Stats support it never has reached the same since because many seem to realize that they can save money, avoid stomach indigestion, avoid excess calories (obesity) by staying home eating HEALTHIER meals in a more comfortable environment!

What do you think happens when Cheapskate Charlie stays home? The restaurant loses business. Lack of patrons means waitresses will have to be fired and maybe eventually the restaurant goes out of business. Trust me the owner doesn't want anyone staying home and any wait staff who wants that is running counter to the successful operation of the business and maybe should get a new line of work.

That being said, it would be nice if they got a big raise, but unfortunately many restaurants struggle to make a large profit and if salaries are raised substantially than menu prices would have to be raised accordingly. Pretty hard to do since eating out costs fall under disposable income for most, and that is what people will cut when presented with a large change. Want a raise, go work in a movie theater....apparently they do well during economic crisis!




I agree the tipped wage system is pretty f'd up, but I'm not going to punish the
waitstaff for the screwed up situation.


It is! Agreed. I mean a guy could get a bartender job in a COOL place and make over 1k in a few hours. He works no harder than the guy washing the glasses :(


That is so little. God you guys should try guessing how much the psychiatrist I went and saw charger per hr.
Guessss
$507 /hr
but he works by 45 min shift thingys at 380/45min


Why SHOULD we guess? You told us above!

Comparing apples to oranges! But a shrink is also (in USA anyway) going to have to pay his staff, pay for his office, pay the massive insurance for medical malpractice(can be A LOT monthly) and also have to pay off over 100k in school loans , with an income they didn't start getting until around 30(or later)!

Plus (here anyway) they don't get NEARLY that much because most work on insurance scales. What that means is that they might only get 150 dollars(or less) from the insurance company. They help even it out by charging the uninsured more! Not the nicest thing imho to do!


P.S.-- are you sure you saw a shrink? Not saying you don't need one :) because.....
but 45 minutes is usually billed to Psychologists/Licensed social workers. Psychiatrist are billed in smaller periods (15 min). Your country is wasting money to pay shrinks for 45 mins since MOST aren't qualified in counseling and just prescribe the latest stuff the Pharma company salesperson gave them free samples of !
 MaleFeasance
Joined: 3/13/2015
Msg: 50
Another cheap tipper
Posted: 5/27/2015 4:12:13 PM
It seems to be an American tradition. I got no problem with it..HERE. Although tipping bartenders never made sense to me( pouring drinks is their job) or cab drivers
-----------------------------
It makes more sense if you tip them in advance. I've always found That bartenders pour better drinks and cab drivers will hurry if I tip up front.
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