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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Are 21st century, western women intimidating?      Home login  
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 Oldmanhome
Joined: 5/21/2015
Msg: 26
Are 21st century, western women intimidating? Page 2 of 66    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41)
Madam. Volkano, I agree to a point. Everybody is interested in "zing", but many women will choose the guy with not as much Zing but with more success potential. She may have great sexual attraction to the hot biker member of the Hells Angels, but she is going to marry the only so-so looking banker or doctor in many cases, because in the end, she wants to live a financially secure life with a nice house to raise her children. And if things are really good, she gets all of the other benefits . . . yachts, world travel, jet setting, ski chalets. How many women will turn this down to marry the UPS worker just because he has Zing? It simply does not happen in real life.


She is disinterested because she can't imagine making out with you/making love to you


First, please keep "me" out of this. I always offered plenty of "zing" in my youth, so this was never an issue for me. Sometimes I must admit I miss those days. Regardless, as indicated above, women are disinterested for issues far more than just Zing. If they are highly intelligent, they want intelligence in their partners. If they are highly successful, they want high success in their partners.

It is the very rare women who will marry down . . . she wants at least her equal, and that often takes into consideration far more than just Zing. Zing, I expect, often loses out to more pragmatic issues.

I would guess of course, that they may down the road regret their decisions earlier in life, and may pine away for the guy they had the most Zing for . . . still almost all women will reject Zing for Zang in my honest and humble opinion.

In fact I can state with my personal experience that I have heard from several women from my past, long long ago, who chose something over the Zing they had with me. Now that they are divorced or relegated to unhappy marriages, I suppose they have contacted me in some sort of hope to rekindle what they gave up so long ago. Of course . . . not interested. Way too little way too late. We all must sleep in the bed we make for ourselves.
 Like2dance
Joined: 4/13/2013
Msg: 27
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Are 21st century, western women intimidating?
Posted: 5/28/2015 9:48:41 AM
I do not find many women intimidating. Rather, a substantial number of women today tilt too much toward being masculine, thereby losing any feminine appeal they potentially possess. Perhaps "turn off" is a more apt descriptor.

 motowncowgirl
Joined: 3/24/2015
Msg: 28
Are 21st century, western women intimidating?
Posted: 5/28/2015 10:03:20 AM

Rather, a substantial number of women today tilt too much toward being masculine,

how are they doing that?

because the women that I see with leather chaps and wallets attached to their belt with a steel chain aren't really interested in men or in being feminine, but they make up a very small minority of the female population.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 6/22/2012
Msg: 29
Are 21st century, western women intimidating?
Posted: 5/28/2015 10:17:15 AM
I think a lot of it is getting 'intimidating' mixed up with 'antagonizing'.

Granted, there are plenty of people out there who have little or noting but pride to their name, and get easily intimidated by anyone not allowing them to be top dog -- but at the same time, there are several people out there who earned a reasonable to significant amount of success -- that simply cannot stop fighting or competing for an advantage, no matter what the situation. People that like being snarky or, "speak fluent Sarcasm" can be at ANY level of economic power or success. Being relaxed about your success makes that confidence alluring and sexy - being scared of it has the opposite reaction. In essence, tension is the anti-aphrodisiac. That goes for BOTH genders.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 30
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Are 21st century, western women intimidating?
Posted: 5/28/2015 10:17:56 AM
I think it's bogus, much like the men who say women are gold diggers or feminists, or they like bad boys etc., it's just a defense mechanism to cover those feelings of being rejected by someone you really wanted to like you, see you as special. Well he was intimidated by me...probably not, he just didn't find he had much interest. It's also a way for man to reject like sort of soothing one's ego, well I'm so special he was intimidated, so I must be special, when in fact it's just simply that the person lost or was never interested.
 VolkanoKing
Joined: 8/1/2014
Msg: 31
Are 21st century, western women intimidating?
Posted: 5/28/2015 10:23:40 AM
"she wants to live a financially secure life with a nice house to raise her children."

A completely reasonable and understandable goal.

I want a financially secure life so I made one myself. Without the kids, but regardless, financially secure.

Maybe Buster Keaton and Fatty Arbuckle and educate you a little about masculine women...and feminine men....!!!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=POMsUkzQYgw
 newoldgirl
Joined: 4/16/2015
Msg: 32
Are 21st century, western women intimidating?
Posted: 5/28/2015 11:36:34 AM

Is a woman who is educated, uses contraception wisely, has confidence, a good career, owns property, a nice car and yacht intimidating??????


You are kind of lumping personal qualities and possessions together here in a way that I find a bit off-putting. I mean, a man or woman could own plenty of "stuff" that he/she inherited from parents or won in the lottery...it wouldn't mean that the person had confidence, or a good education, or even a good work ethic, merely really good luck.

Having good personal qualities like intelligence, confidence, and a good work ethic shouldn't be intimidating to a woman or a man. Now, if some of these qualities co-exist with the qualities of arrogance and conceitedness, then I don't think folks are so much intimidated as they are turned-off.

As far as education and career goes, I find most men couldn't give a flying fig. They either like you or they don't. They seem to care more that you look pretty, smell nice, can carry on an interesting conversation, that you get their sense of humour, and that you pay attention to them. No lie--I have had more than one first date where the guy didn't even ask me what I did for work, and still asked me on a second date. I'm not saying this is good, necessarily. In fact, maybe it's bad that they weren't interested enough to ask. Either way, I don't think a woman's career choice is that important to a man unless they think it's really good ( supermodel) or really bad ( hooker).
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 33
Are 21st century, western women intimidating?
Posted: 5/28/2015 11:36:53 AM

Are 21st century, western women intimidating?


No.
But many of them are highly annoying.


Is a woman who is educated, uses contraception wisely, has confidence, a good career, owns property, a nice car and yacht intimidating??????


No, but she is highly annoying if she thinks all of that "stuff" automatically makes her a better human being.


Have we destroyed the traditional, male / female dynamic that has existed in the past?


To a certain extent, yes.
It needed adjustment, but not total destruction.


Does the man have to earn more money?


No.


Be taller?


No.
How Neanderthal.


Be able to slay the woolly mammoth?


Well, yes.
What with the way those suckers wander into town and act like they own the place, something has to be done.

This:


I always have wondered why one gender looked around at these types of "things" that supposedly another "has" and thought, hey, getting this "stuff" will make me "better"????


And this:


I would guess that people are often less intimidated, rather than put-off by perceived arrogance or vanity.
 VolkanoKing
Joined: 8/1/2014
Msg: 34
Are 21st century, western women intimidating?
Posted: 5/28/2015 12:07:27 PM
"As far as education and career goes, I find most men couldn't give a flying fig. They either like you or they don't. They seem to care more that you look pretty, smell nice, can carry on an interesting conversation, that you get their sense of humour, and that you pay attention to them. No lie--I have had more than one first date where the guy didn't even ask me what I did for work, and still asked me on a second date."

This is it, right here. Any woman who thinks her accomplishments alone are going to win hearts should read this, repeatedly. Being a success in your career, education, etc are things a woman should do FOR HERSELF and not expect this is going to land you a guy. With women being taught to think and act like men, have have male expectations that her career is what potential dates (and everyone else) is going to judge her on, no wonder so many women are completely confused about why they are sitting alone with their PHD.

Being attractive is key, and working on your personality just as important. Not to be some roll over doormat, but to be fair, respectful and supportive. I have never had a man ask me to give up anything I am, do and have earned. But they do want kindness and respect. That is non negotiable.
 Oldmanhome
Joined: 5/21/2015
Msg: 35
Are 21st century, western women intimidating?
Posted: 5/28/2015 12:11:34 PM
Yes, great accomplishments by women will likely greatly reduce the pool of men available to them. For men, it greatly increases the pool.
 motowncowgirl
Joined: 3/24/2015
Msg: 36
Are 21st century, western women intimidating?
Posted: 5/28/2015 12:31:18 PM
^ what a 'controversial' statement.
 VolkanoKing
Joined: 8/1/2014
Msg: 37
Are 21st century, western women intimidating?
Posted: 5/28/2015 12:45:12 PM
Heh....we're rooting out alot of "the types" around here....
 VolkanoKing
Joined: 8/1/2014
Msg: 38
Are 21st century, western women intimidating?
Posted: 5/28/2015 1:22:45 PM
Their famine side? Hmm..that reminds me..I need to get lunch!

This is a pretty simplistic view of things. Women have always worked thru history. Always. The stay home and raise the children thing is a modern myth. Women have always worked, oftentimes also raising kids and dealing with the multitude of hard work that revolved around farm life or trades..the way many people used to live, until recently. Now we live in an entirely different economic environment, in houses and apartments with no means of being self sufficient outside of going to work to earn money to buy what we need to survive. Growing your own food and managing your own life is a now evaporated option for most.

Women work because they have to, first and foremost, for the same reasons you do, so you dont end up in a homeless shelter. And many also work because they want to. Some will stay home and want to just focus on raising kids...this is a luxury these days, if anything. Not the norm. Life is very expensive. Core basics like health care, food and not living in a totally scary neighborhood means spending alot of time working for someone else.

You may think life sucks now with women having their own life..I certainly would not want to go back to a time when women could not vote, own property (if she did and got married, it would then belong to her husband) and have little or no choice with her education. No thanks to that.

Anyway, quite frankly, I would think quite a few women would be up to have someone else pay the bills for her. If this is what you want, find that sort of lady. As for the rest of us, we arent stomping around out there hating and begrudging men. Most of us are working hard to make sure we eat, sleep comfortably and can take care of our medical expenses. Who else is going to do it? Our economy isn't set up for self sufficiency, and the range of services and options we have today (things like clean water, electricity, gas, etc) cost money to use. Again, who is going to help women pay for this? The National Women's Relief Fund? haha no.

So, we work. Like we always have.

You want a devoted stay at home wife/mother? Go find one! There is someone for everyone Sitting here on a forum is not going to bring her to you.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 39
Are 21st century, western women intimidating?
Posted: 5/28/2015 1:32:37 PM

No not intimidating, but too self reliant and not willing to allow a man to be the first thing you think about in the morning and the last thing you think about at night. It is not weak for women to be feminine and allow a man to hold their heart in his hands, it is not weak to want a man to hold them, to comfort them, to take charge and to be a rock for them, it is not weak to allow a man to bring home the money for them while they look after the home and the children, it is not weak to want a man, to need a man and it is not weak to love a man. Women need to open up and get back in touch with their famine side and get rid of that righteous I am better than a man attitude for relationships to flourish once again in the modern day society.


So switch the words up from "intimidating" to "too self-reliant". Is this to say that men have a problem with women being self-reliant? I don't get the disconnect between being self-reliant and a man thinking because of that she can't think of a man, be feminine, be loved by a man, be held by a man, comforted by a man and have him be a rock for her when it's warranted while providing the same to him. Does this mean that men who are self-reliant cannot do and be all those things for a woman as well by virtue of being self-reliant? Being self-reliant is not a masculine trait alone but apparently there are those men who believe you aren't or can't be feminine if you do have the wherewithal to be self-reliant. I don't think it's a case of women having a righteous attitude of "I'm better than a man", but perhaps is more a case of some men feeling like less of a man when they find they can't control situations as much as they did in the past. Personally, I much prefer a shared existence with a man, not one where there are such defined roles as there were in the past. If a man can't deal with that, it's more his problem (ego) than blaming it on a woman's self-reliance.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 40
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Are 21st century, western women intimidating?
Posted: 5/28/2015 1:36:56 PM
I have news here LOL women did not need to gain any independence or rights to not think about the man they're are with first thing in the morning or last thing at night, like many things in life, that's something you earn. You earn it by being a good match, having deep respect for each other, and certainly not by making sure people are second class to you. You want someone to really, deeply love you, then be someone they would feel that way about, and it's not a formula or tricks, it's just simply being the right two (or more) people getting together. The idea that when people are held down makes then like you is about as backward as you can get. You know, the old tiresome cliche of let it go and if it comes back to you...thing, there's a lot of truth in that.
 clooneystutor
Joined: 3/8/2015
Msg: 41
Are 21st century, western women intimidating?
Posted: 5/28/2015 2:01:23 PM


who is educated, uses contraception wisely, has confidence, a good career, owns property, a nice car and yacht intimidating


Are you seeking a man with these same traits and material possessions?

I wouldn't be intimidated by a woman that valued these things, but I'd be turned off by her emphasis on what she's accumulated and what she's achieved with her life.

I'd feel like she's valued herself as better then me right out of the gate.

That's not intimidation. It's avoiding conceit and arrogance.

See, the fact I've never been intimidated could be because I've never met a PhD with a 6 figure income, and a homeowner to boot.

But...as I've said before...

Women are socially accepted to find a greater partner in terms of things and accomplishments. Men, not so much.
 clooneystutor
Joined: 3/8/2015
Msg: 42
Are 21st century, western women intimidating?
Posted: 5/28/2015 2:08:34 PM


Being a success in your career, education, etc are things a woman should do FOR HERSELF and not expect this is going to land you a guy


Landing an equal guy will be tough indeed...
 SunshineGirl__
Joined: 10/7/2014
Msg: 43
Are 21st century, western women intimidating?
Posted: 5/28/2015 2:09:57 PM

Why would any of this shit matter? One major problem with women is that because they think all this shit matters, that guys must care about this shit.


Likewise, men think sh!t that matters to them, matters to women…and what doesn’t matter to them, shouldn’t matter to women.


least attractive men are often the angriest and nastiest. Good looking men on the other hand are oftentimes sweethearts


I agree.

Saw a mail order bride crime show last night…and OMG the bride buyer guy and his friend were beyond fugly, angry and nasty. ~shudder~

OP I don’t mean to sound harsh, but I think you may be searching for reasons beyond yourself that your relationships aren’t working out? Like the nice guy who cries that women only want the bad boys, maybe forget about your “things” and focus on you.

I know if a man presented himself as “intimidating” to women I’d be gone, thinking him arrogant and self absorbed.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 44
Are 21st century, western women intimidating?
Posted: 5/28/2015 2:11:04 PM
There is a big difference between confidence and boastfulness. I would guess most Men don't get intimidated by what a woman owns. They might get irritated at how it is presented however. I usually roll my eyes back to see my brain when people start bragging.
 Your_Move
Joined: 11/12/2009
Msg: 45
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Are 21st century, western women intimidating?
Posted: 5/28/2015 2:14:15 PM
OP - what is your experience on these, that the question comes up? (educated, uses contraception wisely, has confidence, a good career, owns property etc). Have you had men reject you because they found you intimidating over these things? How did they express that? And were these men you had initiated with, or had they initiated with you and then become intimidated and backed off?


Have we destroyed the traditional, male / female dynamic that has existed in the past?

I'd say that the discussions about "who pays", "who should initiate",etc, suggest the traditional dynamic is alive and well with a sizable population, while it is passe' to another sizable one.


Does the man have to earn more money? Be taller? Be able to slay the woolly mammoth?

The number of women's profiles I see saying "they want a man that makes them feel safe", "big arms", "must be at least X-tall", suggest a lot of that is still true too - probably the financial part least so. What about for you OP -- do you feel attraction if a male is NOT taller than you, or can't slay the mammoth?
 VolkanoKing
Joined: 8/1/2014
Msg: 46
Are 21st century, western women intimidating?
Posted: 5/28/2015 2:24:22 PM
Nice!

I have to say, never once, ever, have I met a woman who appears to have "lost her femininity" and regrets having a job and a fulfilling life. I've never gone home from a party and thought wow. That woman has REALLY lost her femininity. I've never had anyone tell me I have. I've never had a man tell me his wife or GF just isnt feminine enough, and if she maybe quit her job their relationship would be better.

What I DO see are alot of people working together to make their lives work. I see babies being born, proud mothers and fathers, talented men and women giving their career their all, including myself, who would never give up a rare opportunity to work at movie studios on the many projects I have.

Again, how is anyone supposed to pay their bills...if they dont work?

I just dont see the growling, stomping whining men who feel so put out and land it all on the women in their lives. Not even once have I come across this. Not even among single male friends.

Heh..those types are all hanging out here, waiting to strike like their words are going to be some huge epiphany for women. Oh My GOD! Happybloke just laid it all out for me! THATS what the problem is!

I'm a professional artist and make a living at it! I am not longer A WOMAN BUT A BEAST!!!!

CRAP!!!!! Why didnt I see this? Oh, my awful, awful ways. The poor men I have hurt. *SOB!!!!*

HOW COULD I LEAVE SUCH A TRAIL OF TEARS??????????????

So yeah. Misogynist, finger pointing comments about how women are the problem. I suppose these are supposed to be game changers. Earth shakers. A bleak somehow biblical warning perhaps, that we need to change our wicked ways.

From Adam and Eve until May 28th, 2015..it's always the woman's fault!!!!

Honestly gals. How DO we live with ourselves.

More important, what would I do without the psychological advice from finger waggin' schlubs here on the forum?

I'd be lost in the wilderness. LOST!!!!
 motowncowgirl
Joined: 3/24/2015
Msg: 47
Are 21st century, western women intimidating?
Posted: 5/28/2015 2:43:40 PM

A lot of women fail to admit that they has lost their femininity and their hearts have become cold in the process, so the women that came back at me with defensive responses underlines the denial they have for the problems they have with men and the unwillingness to change their I'm better than a man attitude.

what makes you think the women who disagreed with you are being 'defensive' or believe they're superior to men? are you pulling wild cards out of your ass? because what you said is not even rational.


Do you women ever want another man in your lives or are you happy alone, without love, comfort, stability, without femininity? Go ahead continue to be stubborn to spite yourselves and continue to live life unfulfilled without having a man there for you. Best of luck to you and in your miserable lonely lives.

yeah best of luck to you too in assuming that any woman who is single must be automatically be un-feminine and miserable because she failed in attaching herself to a man.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 48
Are 21st century, western women intimidating?
Posted: 5/28/2015 2:46:10 PM
I don't about slaying woolly mammoths, but a 21st century woman should be able to slay dragons while rescuing a guy locked in a tower in a castle, before he's forced to marry the king's daughter and produced royal offspring. And guys should grow their hair as long as Rapunzel's hair, so if they're ever trapped in a tower, the woman can climb to the top of the tower by using his hair and rescue him. There's got to be some truth to that, because I've seen action movies where skinny hot looking women in designer dresses and and high heels defeat entire armies with a few karate chops and kicks, without getting a wrinkle in their clothes or messing up their hairdo or breaking a nail.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 49
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Are 21st century, western women intimidating?
Posted: 5/28/2015 3:00:28 PM

happybloke77
Volk, You are only hurting yourself not anyone else with your attitude and in the end you will be alone regretting the choices you made by being an extreme feminist, unless of course you choose to date other women and maybe you should as you do after all have a large dislike for men from the comments you have made and don't value men in anyway.


Now I have to call BullSh*t on this statement by happybloke. Go back and read what VolkanoKing has actually written, right here in this thread. I quote from msg 37:

VolkanoKing
Being attractive is key, and working on your personality just as important. Not to be some roll over doormat, but to be fair, respectful and supportive. I have never had a man ask me to give up anything I am, do and have earned. But they do want kindness and respect. That is non negotiable


These are not the words of some man hater. These are the words of an intelligent, thoughtful person.

“fair, respectful and supportive”

“kindness and respect”

You would do well to practice some of what VolkanoKing is preaching here.

I give you one of my favorite quotes:


A man does not insist on physical beauty in a woman who builds up his morale. After a while he realizes that she is beautiful -- he just hadn't noticed it at first.



 VolkanoKing
Joined: 8/1/2014
Msg: 50
Are 21st century, western women intimidating?
Posted: 5/28/2015 3:02:56 PM
Hmmm..severe damage because I have to pay my mortgage.

Im sorry your condemnations are not having the desired effect. That sucks the big one! Maybe if you tried to be an original thinker..maybe a little more clever..maybe some new twist to the tale? I think the main thing is that you are kind of boring in your approach. I mean, the thing is, we've all heard your spin probably about a thousand times by now. Same thing. Guy gripes about women working and not being feminine enough, woman explains that working is a necessity to pay the bills, woman is then given the standard psychological assessment which invariably, never has a good outcome. It is grim, grim indeed! Because she has a bad attitude..and how sad, sad it all is.

You can take this morbid tale into bed with you tonight. When, alone as per usual, you reach for your almost empty bottle of lube, slather it on your weenster and desperately jerk off. Nobody hears your strangled cries as your DNA glops onto the sheets. You clean it up, almost getting all of it. Then you turn over, let the Kleenex drop onto the floor.....alone again for the long night.

But you have one thing that makes you smile. And that is that you told that "VolkanoKing" off, and boy did you ever. She learned a lesson today, boy, so good job. And you'll be back in the morning to check on the fall out damage, which once again never seems to happen. In fact, it seems the more you try, limply, to insult and degrade people, the most impossible it is to get thru to them!

Amazing how that works.

PS: Thanks OhHenry, at this point I'm just having fun. :D
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