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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Affairs: Would you ever get together with a married person?      Home login  
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 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 76
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Affairs: Would you ever get together with a married person?Page 4 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
Oh. Yeah. Right. I'd get together with a married person. It's tougher than nails for me to get together with a single lady. Like I could attract a married one? You are so, so, funny.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 77
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Affairs: Would you ever get together with a married person?
Posted: 6/6/2015 7:56:12 AM
ThePigOfYourDreams...
You know, if you ever married Marilyn McCoo, she could go by "Marilyn McCooldog".


Eric_Summit...
You know that CoolDog65 would gently treat the new Mrs. Marilyn McCooldog like a precious diamond, too!


Florence being the maid of honor could be interesting...

https://youtu.be/nJOJeATLVgY


Back on topic...

As I started earlier, I've done some things in my past with married women that I'm not proud of. I've learned from it and can't let temptation get the best of me again.

Hopefully, I'm not only older, but also wiser.
 newoldgirl
Joined: 4/16/2015
Msg: 78
Affairs: Would you ever get together with a married person?
Posted: 6/6/2015 8:07:36 AM
I have never cheated nor been cheated on that I know of.

Why would anyone go for a married person when there are so many single people?
 2ufo
Joined: 2/28/2015
Msg: 79
Affairs: Would you ever get together with a married person?
Posted: 6/6/2015 9:45:08 AM
I do not think I would ever have an affair with a married person.
I would be lying to myself as well as to others.
I could be hurting myself more than anyone else.


My daughter has just been rude and has broken off contact because I was not attentive to her during holidays/birthdays - basically the same thing that she did to me the year prior. But hey, her behavior isn't on trial here, only mine is.

Joe - I hope you don't take my comment as your behavior 'on trial' and I don't know your full story, but don't you think that - as a parent who might wish to have future contact with your daughter - you should be more understanding of your daughter's behavior? Nothing happens in a vacuum and she may only be reacting to your actions of not paying attention to her during special days the same as you are reacting to her being rude. By your own admission you were in a depression - how much did you pay attention to her while you were depressed?

I don't think we're 'putting your behavior on trial' so much as trying to show you alternatives or how a different person may perceive something and on POF there's an entire spectrum of different people, beliefs, and experiences.
 TerrieLynnC70
Joined: 6/22/2013
Msg: 80
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Affairs: Would you ever get together with a married person?
Posted: 6/7/2015 1:24:06 PM

What are your thoughts on this topic?


I think it sucks, and so do you.




LMAO ...........OP You just keep posting threads AND GETTING OWNED......................LMAO.................
 antirepublican
Joined: 12/31/2014
Msg: 81
Affairs: Would you ever get together with a married person?
Posted: 6/7/2015 1:46:12 PM
I wouldn't hesitate. Never have in the past and can't imagine ever getting any compunction about it in the future. If some woman's marriage means nothing to her then why should it mean any more to me?

One may ask, "what about her innocent husband?" I've actually given that some thought and decided that he is probably better off either divorcing or distrusting his faithless and disloyal wife from here on out. The poor guy is being played for a sucker as it is. If he never knows then he can continue in his fantasy world with no problem. If he finds out and doesn't like it then I'm doing him a favour by making it plain that he is tied to a traitor. He can then act accordingly.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 82
Affairs: Would you ever get together with a married person?
Posted: 6/7/2015 2:12:47 PM
married cheaters are like grandchildren--when they get annoying, you can send 'em home.

on a more serious note, I remember someone mentioning how married cheaters were easier to pick up than the average single, since the single had many choices, and the married person had only their partner. as usual, its all about the viewpoint. does anyone really actively pursue the married, or does these things "just happen"? likely the latter more than the former.

still, it could be argued that the married person might just be married b/c they are more attractive, not just in looks but in personality and every other thing that matters to the one willing to help with the cheating. its the cheating that might turn off the potential partner, but these forums are full of people who ignore a lot of other bad behavior.

cheating likely is one of those "Salami situations" in life, where things occur one slice at a time, until everything's gone.
 shirleywonton01
Joined: 4/30/2015
Msg: 83
Affairs: Would you ever get together with a married person?
Posted: 6/7/2015 2:36:48 PM

One may ask, "what about her innocent husband?" I've actually given that some thought and decided that he is probably better off either divorcing or distrusting his faithless and disloyal wife from here on out. The poor guy is being played for a sucker as it is. If he never knows then he can continue in his fantasy world with no problem. If he finds out and doesn't like it then I'm doing him a favour by making it plain that he is tied to a traitor. He can then act accordingly.



There's one HUGE point you are missing. Couples breaking up with honesty on their own is one thing, finding your spouse in bed with someone else is extremely traumatic and hurtful, are you really down for that? Do the right thing, resist the temptation, because if she can't get from anyone else while she's married, she's more apt to get real and ask for a divorce.

I've heard those who have affairs think they are doing the unknowing wife a big favor, saving the marriage by giving him some spice on the side. And each of those women had screwed up lives, as if they just needed to spread around the debris of their black hole existence.
 antirepublican
Joined: 12/31/2014
Msg: 84
Affairs: Would you ever get together with a married person?
Posted: 6/7/2015 2:55:06 PM
Well Shirley, you bring up something important. Yes, I am down for that and here's why... Break ups, no matter what the reason. are ALWAYS traumatic especially for the sort of men whose wives cheat on them... always. Withholding my penis won't make his divorce any easier. It may even make it harder because she is likely to blind-side him. At least finding another man in bed with his wife will put him on notice that she can't be trusted and maybe even give him a better chance in court.
 antirepublican
Joined: 12/31/2014
Msg: 85
Affairs: Would you ever get together with a married person?
Posted: 6/7/2015 2:55:31 PM
edited... duplicate post
 shirleywonton01
Joined: 4/30/2015
Msg: 86
Affairs: Would you ever get together with a married person?
Posted: 6/7/2015 6:13:01 PM
^Shoots, I guess even minimal deceency is a subjective.
 JoeBnD
Joined: 3/23/2012
Msg: 87
Affairs: Would you ever get together with a married person?
Posted: 6/7/2015 6:15:17 PM
2ufo:

Joe - I hope you don't take my comment as your behavior 'on trial' and I don't know your full story, but don't you think that - as a parent who might wish to have future contact with your daughter - you should be more understanding of your daughter's behavior? Nothing happens in a vacuum and she may only be reacting to your actions of not paying attention to her during special days the same as you are reacting to her being rude. By your own admission you were in a depression - how much did you pay attention to her while you were depressed?


You apparently didn't get the gist of what I posted in the matter of events with my daughter, and I will admit that I wasn't entirely clear. I will give just a quick summary of the events that lead up to our situation.

* My daughter graduates from HS and I attend, giving her a present of her choice of two trips (one of which she doesn't want because deep water was involved - a phobia) with me (there were specific reasons for this, and I felt that it would be a wonderful memory that we could share together), or $900 cash. Initially she chose the trip to Yellowstone.

* Father's Day that same year, no contact from either of my two children.

* Daughter cancels trip (I lose deposit) and takes cash.

* My Birthday the same year, no contact from either of my children.

* Thanksgiving the same year, my son contacts me not for any holiday good tidings, but instead is looking for me to buy an Xbox One for him for Xmas. I informed son there would be no presents - daddy ATM and gift vault are closed for now. No contact from daughter.

* Xmas the same year, only contact from son; nothing from daughter. Daughter and son both get nothing; this upsets daughter (umm, yeah).

* Daughter's birthday and I send no gift or contact.

So essentially, I treated her as she treated me. Lo and behold, she didn't like it (duh). Prior to these events, we had a very good relationship. But I am done with one-sided relationships, including those from family. Not everyone agrees with my decision, but most do.
 deetristate
Joined: 12/4/2014
Msg: 88
Affairs: Would you ever get together with a married person?
Posted: 6/7/2015 6:38:19 PM
The posts of antirepublican made me realize why I have no reaction when I hear on the news about a spouse or relative of a spouse harming the other man or other woman. I just wait for the next news story.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 89
Affairs: Would you ever get together with a married person?
Posted: 6/7/2015 7:08:13 PM
many times, the cheating isn't a matter of one spouse doing something heinous, and the other decides to react by cheating. If it was, then it would be easy to avoid the cheating result by not doing something so heinous. many times, its a pattern of behavior, small acts done over time that add up. Like with coworkers, its not the ONE thing they do, its the EVVVVVERRRYTHING they do. or to use a euphemism, its not one straw that breaks the camel's back, its all the straw on the camel's back that add up until that final one puts the weight limit over the edge.

so, someone might do one passive-aggressive thing, then another a month later, then does something else a month after that, until a year later...its pushed a partner over the edge. we don't have to watch for that one thing we do, we have to keep in mind ALL the smaller things we do that add up, while we take our partner for granted.

just sayin'...
 2ufo
Joined: 2/28/2015
Msg: 90
Affairs: Would you ever get together with a married person?
Posted: 6/8/2015 9:51:28 AM

Prior to these events, we had a very good relationship. But I am done with one-sided relationships, including those from family. Not everyone agrees with my decision, but most do.


Joe - just a few comments for your thoughts. If it was a 'good relationship' then how was it 'one-sided'? To me, those terms are mutually exclusive.

No one has to agree with any decision anyone makes - it is an individual decision. People agreeing with 'your' decision (the generic you) mean nothing because they have probably heard only one side.

I come from hard-headed, stubborn stock on both sides of my family; my maternal grandfather didn't talk to his brother for 40+ years (until they were in their mid-70's,). My father snubbed an aunt for about 20 years (they both died still angry). Is that what you want for the rest of your life? I'm not saying you have to pay money for your kid's attention (a bad habit but real easy to fall into said this mom whose kid has asked for an Xbox this coming Yule) but maybe just a postcard - 'thinking of you' - occasionally would keep the channels of communication open. If that's what you want.
 norwegianguy123
Joined: 10/27/2014
Msg: 91
Affairs: Would you ever get together with a married person?
Posted: 6/8/2015 10:26:15 AM

I do not think I would ever have an affair with a married person.
I would be lying to myself as well as to others.
I could be hurting myself more than anyone else.

Lying to yourself? Like imagining that they aren't married? That's not a requirement. :) And hurting yourself More than them? I think there's more potential for the couple to be hurt, although if it's at the point where the wife is on an online dating site or at the bar looking for dudes to pork her -- it's already crumbling and is Already Cheating.

One may ask, "what about her innocent husband?" I've actually given that some thought and decided that he is probably better off either divorcing or distrusting his faithless and disloyal wife from here on out.

Well, he was better off divorcing her before the point of pumping her vag. But there's also a good chance he's cheated on her to some degree by that point where she's going out on the prowl and you run into her.

IMO, I wouldn't feel Guilty in most situations. For me to feel guilty, I would have to know or feel that their marriage or LTR was generally decent -- and she wasn't ever going to cheat if it wasn't for me -- all while her husband/boyfriend was not cheating, nor has there ever been any cheating between them. In essence, if I'm "breaking the seal" in cheating by either party, in what has been an otherwise OK relationship. Thankfully, the chances of that are small.

If it's not me, it's going to be someone else if I'm meeting her from online or I'm in Vegas whooping it up. If they are taken I'll flirt and all, but I won't be laying out any seductive gameplan or expecting anything to formulate. If She ends up reeling Me in -- all while there's no rarely held knowledge that they have a great relationship and she's shaking it up -- I would feel No Guilt. It's not her first time at that rodeo, she's going to be cheating on him whether it be by me or someone else -- and I'm in no position to assume that her husband/boyfriend is some innocent victim who hasn't been running his own gig once in a while.
 CharminC
Joined: 2/19/2011
Msg: 92
Affairs: Would you ever get together with a married person?
Posted: 6/8/2015 10:41:52 AM

I come from hard-headed, stubborn stock on both sides of my family; my maternal grandfather didn't talk to his brother for 40+ years (until they were in their mid-70's,). My father snubbed an aunt for about 20 years (they both died still angry). Is that what you want for the rest of your life? I'm not saying you have to pay money for your kid's attention (a bad habit but real easy to fall into said this mom whose kid has asked for an Xbox this coming Yule) but maybe just a postcard - 'thinking of you' - occasionally would keep the channels of communication open. If that's what you want.


this ... This.... THIS!!!!
A hard heart becomes like stone and very hard to break

croons *Try a little tenderness
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 93
Affairs: Would you ever get together with a married person?
Posted: 6/8/2015 11:22:08 AM
norwegianguy123- The thing is, you don't know that you are breaking up a "good" or "bad" relationship.
Who is going to tell you they love their spouse, but you are just really attractive/hot, so they will then 'uck you, just for lusts sake?
What if they are in a bad relationship? That justify's cheating or cheating with them?
There are shitty, awful, people in the world, so you are changing nothing by joining in, since they would be bad people anyway?
I don't understand that logic.
The effort that is put into an affair could be effort put forth to save a marriage.
If someone has truly given up and there's NO hope, that's when they should ask for a divorce.
Right after my divorce was finalized, my ex started an affair with a woman that was young enough to be his daughter.
Her husband was stationed over seas serving the military, their big excuse for justifying the affair was that he voluntarily went for a second tour and left her alone for 6 months, poor thing, oh the horror.
He was trying to get home for medical leave, he had a heart condition and there they were, screwing in his house, in his bed, with his boys home.
When the whole thing blew up and I found out I went OFF on him, it was something I never thought he would do.
He was the one that tried to excuse their behavior because the husband was gone for 6 months and didn't have to be and he also said he didn't do anything wrong, since HE was divorced.
No, he didn't cheat on me, because we were divorced, but he knew she WAS married and therefore JUST as guilty.
He's lucky, very lucky,that he made it out of that one without an ass kicking or worse.
People makes mistakes, it happens, we are human, but NO one is going to come up with a justifiable excuse to have an affair.
There are some people here who have admitted to it, but at least they admit it was wrong and they learned not to keep doing it.
I'm not perfect, not by any means, but if I'm that unhappy, I'll leave.
 2ufo
Joined: 2/28/2015
Msg: 94
Affairs: Would you ever get together with a married person?
Posted: 6/8/2015 11:26:41 AM


I do not think I would ever have an affair with a married person.
I would be lying to myself as well as to others.
I could be hurting myself more than anyone else.


Lying to yourself? Like imagining that they aren't married? That's not a requirement. :) And hurting yourself More than them? I think there's more potential for the couple to be hurt, although if it's at the point where the wife is on an online dating site or at the bar looking for dudes to pork her -- it's already crumbling and is Already Cheating.


Maybe I'm a very selfish, moral person. I'd be lying to myself in thinking I am a moral person to intentionally have an affair with a married person, knowing the effect it could have on their spouse.
If someone else is willing to break their vows then that's their situation and problem. It has very little to actually do with me. So often, I get the feeling that someone who is cheating on their spouse is often simply looking for an excuse to break themselves free of a marriage in a manner that is not their fault because they can always claim 'I fell in love', 'it was just one of those things', 'I was bored and s/he was available' or 'she made me feel masculine/he made me feel feminine and you don't give me what I need anymore'. I have very little respect for people who play those types of games with people they supposedly love.

So, what is the other person, the object of the affair? Certainly they aren't seen as a person, but an image, a flat, monodimensional plaything or a tool to intentionally injure some other person. Too many people break their toys and tools for me to want to be either.
 JoeBnD
Joined: 3/23/2012
Msg: 95
Affairs: Would you ever get together with a married person?
Posted: 6/8/2015 12:14:17 PM

Is that what you want for the rest of your life?


A hard heart becomes like stone and very hard to break


I am having less and less of a problem with a choice of this nature. Lately, the only people that I desire any contact with are those I have met on the golf course; somehow they seem to be a better breed of people.
 norwegianguy123
Joined: 10/27/2014
Msg: 96
Affairs: Would you ever get together with a married person?
Posted: 6/8/2015 12:58:26 PM

The thing is, you don't know that you are breaking up a "good" or "bad" relationship

Ahh, but you're missing one important element. You don't know if you're breaking a relationship At All. You COULD know, as I stated -- I wouldn't want to be breaking that seal.

Let me say this though: Many times when we think of someone cheating, it's a friend or friend of a friend where cheating occurred. People we know. No, I'm not going to hook up with someone I know who's in a relationship, even if I'm not breaking the seal and she's cheating and so is he. For the same reason I'm not going to hook up with the gal right after breaking up and they're a mess. I don't want to get involved in any drama and being added to their fire ("... and on top of that, you slept with Norwegianguy! He has a huge penis, but come on! I fvcking hate that guy now..."), and would be stupid.

What I'm talking about is some gal you don't have any degrees of connection with. You meet at a bar, or on a vacation. She lures ya in, and explains that the relationship she's been in has been hell for years, but they have kids, blah blah, and they both haven't kissed in god knows how long, and she's quite positive he's fooled around before, and so she's been doing the same in keeping her options when she gets out, etc. Of course, that's Her representation of it -- but *I* am not cheating on him -- she would be. *I* wouldn't be twisting her arm, she's wanting to roll in the hay (even more evidence this is Not her first rodeo, and I'm not breaking anything up).

What if they are in a bad relationship? That justify's cheating or cheating with them?

If my LTR GF or wife went to Vegas and she slept with some guy (I obviously don't know), I would not be angry at him -- I'd be angry at HER. He didn't cheat on me. For me to be pissed at the guy, it'd require something Different added to the mix -- like him seducing her, twisting her arm, etc., and convincing that that's what happened. I'd be pissed at both, but the focal point would be on her. Otherwise, I wouldn't care about the random guy on vacation, personally.

Who is going to tell you they love their spouse, but you are just really attractive/hot, so they will then 'uck you, just for lusts sake?

Oh, they all do. They all do. (Polishing knuckles) ;) Kidding. No, they're pretty much not going to -- although something close to that can happen, but yeah, don't expect it. Just as if they're recently broken up or divorced -- it's going to be exaggerated making them look more of a bad guy than they are (and vice versa), while both most likely did bad things. But the burden's not on me, it's the other way around... to where they'd have to say some things over some time where I put things together realizing that they Aren't established as a broken couple. When on a vacation meeting new people though, and having a hookup -- there's not a lot of time of things like that able to soak in and put together though.

The effort that is put into an affair could be effort put forth to save a marriage.

I disagree. In many situations, no, it's not. Again, the burden of proof is on them to provide info that indicates that I'd be breaking a seal. Plus, a cute gal on vacation out with gal pals looking for c0ck -- if it's not me, it's going to be someone else. And either way, she ain't saving the marriage or relationship at that point at all -- much the other way around.

If someone has truly given up and there's NO hope, that's when they should ask for a divorce.

I agree. Again, I'm not their relationship counselor or marriage counselor. They're 'taken' -- whether it's marriage or not -- and THEY are cheating, not me. If I'm not twisting any arms, and in fact I'm getting My arm twisted (being reeled in), sorry -- *I* am not breaking any relationship -- especially when said relationship is most likely Broken already and the burden of proof that it's Not lies on them, not me at that point.

A measuring stick to this would be: Would I be Pissed at the guy? Where would it be where I wouldn't want to strangle the guy? Well, if an GF/wife went to Vegas as was reeling in a guy or two and they banged -- no, I wouldn't be pissed at the guy. That was all her doing. She broke the relationship, not the random guy "Jim" from Idaho who was out in Vegas for a vacation, too.

I'd be lying to myself in thinking I am a moral person to intentionally have an affair with a married person, knowing the effect it could have on their spouse.

Well first, You wouldn't be having an affair (in the sense of Cheating) -- they would. Now, you would be cheating a friendship's situation if you knew them -- whether they recently broke up or were still together. But of people you don't know, and the burden's on the other person? I can understand not wanting to be a part of a concept you don't condone. Whether that person says they have an open relationship or not doesn't matter. You don't know For Sure, right? See, I don't take that angle. I don't think I'm doing something immoral if by one's actions or words implies that the relationship Has Been likely broken for some time.

I've been in situations before of a gal in an LTR (or married) where I haven't chased her even though there was some flirting and she was out to get porked, etc. Come to find out in many of them, her getting porked wasn't the 1st time (no sh!t), and it in and of itself had no bearing on the process of breaking up that was already in motion. For ME, I would feel like doing something wrong if *I* was having a REAL hand in breaking the relationship apart. But from my POV -- that burden of proof is on THEM (being a stranger) to point that out, not I, as they are open arms reeling me in.
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 97
Affairs: Would you ever get together with a married person?
Posted: 6/8/2015 1:33:05 PM
norweiganguy123- If you don't know the person is married and they outright lie about it, of course it's their fault.
After my oldest son was born, but before I met my ex, I met a man at work who told everyone he was divorced. He wore no ring, I have to give him credit, he was an excellent liar. He had a whole story made up, why they divorced, visits with his daughter, etc.
He asked me out and I went, not knowing. We went out three times, thank GOD it only went as far as kissing.
I busted him when he was on the pay phone in the back break room (this was 1987). He didn't hear me come up behind him and I heard him asking her what was for dinner, how much he loved her, couldn't wait to see her. He turned around and saw me and got the "deer in the headlights" look, for about two seconds. Then he just shrugged and said "now you know". Til THIS day, I wish I had knocked him on his ass.
It happens, people lie.
HOWEVER, if you know and do it anyway, that's a whole other thing.
I guess we will have to agree to disagree on this one.
 norwegianguy123
Joined: 10/27/2014
Msg: 98
Affairs: Would you ever get together with a married person?
Posted: 6/8/2015 2:36:59 PM

norweiganguy123- If you don't know the person is married and they outright lie about it, of course it's their fault.

Yeah. But also, if they lie about the situation as you not breaking any seal, them both "doing their own thing" and are still married because of their kids (etc etc) -- that's their fault and not your fault either. And whether they're married or in a Relationship is quite moot, too. I would find someone in my position as bad (along with the 'taken' one) if I was manipulating/coercing/convincing them in any way To cheat. But if that ball's rolling by their own volition toward me, and I'm on some vacation -- the ball's not in my court to Assume that they have an otherwise happy Relationship, their SO has never cheated and is blinded by everything, and I'm someone breaking their seal. In fact, if said vacation was in Vegas, I would NOT bet that it is that way in most type of situations -- I'd be losing money on it.

Again, I wouldn't be Pushing for her to cheat or twisting any arms. It's when the gal is taking a liking to me from conversation->more and wanting to fool around. Doing so shifts the burden, IMO. I mean, it's not like I'm some famous hot stud that she'd have a rare chance of meeting that drew her in to wanting to cross that line, and it's just me due to my monsterous attraction as I'm God's Gift to women - lol ;)

Upon observation of said type of situations, the person they slept with outside their relationship wasn't the cause of it breaking. It didn't break the relationship, nor over time was the only cheating situation for them. Many times it aids in it, sometimes it doesn't, and few times it Is the reason. When it is THE central breaking activity, it's almost always going to be someone they know at work, a neighbor, a friend etc -- that over time built to something where they broke a seal. I'm NOT a fan of that, and I don't condone that.

But when on vaycay and them letting lose -- whether drinking a good amount when they had an agreement back home with friends & family that they really weren't going to drink much? If I'm not convincing them or twisting their arm to drink, and instead they are wanting to drink and break said promises -- I feel no guilt in buying them a drink. Because they themselves will, and some other guy will, too. I'm not speeding anything up or changing anything in the route they're going down. I'm just not going to PROTEST it in defiance, is all. Nor am I going to push them to if it's Not a route they're going down. But if it is? Sorry, but not My bad. If their friend(s) or family members who had the "don't drink this summer" agreement with them get mad at me, they'd be foolish, IMO. They wouldn't be taking the whole picture into account, and not knowing/feeling the difference between said person breaking that promise and having breaking that promise regardless of my existence VS me "wooing" them to and it being The reason why.

Jumping to that latter assumption would be the foolish/emotional conclusion. Same can be said in many situations applying to the person they hooked up with when cheating on their significant other.
 deetristate
Joined: 12/4/2014
Msg: 99
Affairs: Would you ever get together with a married person?
Posted: 6/8/2015 8:43:48 PM
Terrible,selfish,unable to love people can always make excuses for their vile behavior, whether an affair or some other bad act.
 2ufo
Joined: 2/28/2015
Msg: 100
Affairs: Would you ever get together with a married person?
Posted: 6/9/2015 10:45:01 AM


I'd be lying to myself in thinking I am a moral person to intentionally have an affair with a married person, knowing the effect it could have on their spouse.
I can understand not wanting to be a part of a concept you don't condone. Whether that person says they have an open relationship or not doesn't matter. You don't know For Sure, right? See, I don't take that angle. I don't think I'm doing something immoral if by one's actions or words implies that the relationship Has Been likely broken for some time.


It's not whether or not I condone the behavior or know 'For Sure'. I've been approached by a wife who told me her husband would love a roll in the hay with me and she approved (that's how you know an open relationship). Another time I was propositioned - on the same night! - by both the husband and wife sneaking around on each other. It's the people that can get hurt in a situation of lies.

NG, as near as I can figure out, you'll have an affair with anyone (1) so long as you do not believe you are the first person to have an affair with the 'cheating' wife and (2) so long as you can tell yourself their relationship is already broken. It's called justification; it's a sorry excuse for integrity and I have no respect for either person in that situation. Have fun. Just remember - even if you aren't technically 'guilty' of breaking up someone's relationship, you can still end up as collateral damage.

Joe - read your post. It's your decision and if you're happy with it, that's all good.
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