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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Affairs: Would you ever get together with a married person?      Home login  
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 sealady111
Joined: 5/31/2015
Msg: 126
Affairs: Would you ever get together with a married person?Page 6 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
Blue Eyes,

I will add a couple of my experiences to back up Volcano.
Like her I try to purge them from my memory.

Go on the meet and greet.

Then:

Get begged to touch breasts.
Get told things like.....We are adults here. No need for all that romance nonsense. Let's just get down to it. Asked to be his 'sub'.

Does not even need to be an on line meeting.
I have had a man walk up to me, when I was carrying stuff so had my hands full and grope my breasts.

My favourite "You are not relationship material but I could have sex with you. I am available between 1 and 2pm on Saturday."



Have never had the herpes thing....... Volcano.... you win.

Have however had a man tell me that he has gout and erectile dysfunction whist asking for sex.

BlueEyes..... the gentlemen (buddies) to whom I have recanted some of these stories are horrified.

 VolkanoKing
Joined: 8/1/2014
Msg: 127
Affairs: Would you ever get together with a married person?
Posted: 6/29/2015 12:50:10 AM
"We are adults here. No need for all that romance nonsense. Let's just get down to it. Asked to be his 'sub'. "

Well now hey. He's just being practical. And he's looking for some poon he can knock around as a "dom" as well. Can't blame the guy.

I think in my case with Mr. Herpsters, he was trying to demonstrate to me how so incredibly awesome he was that these women were willing to risk their own health to sleep with him.

Gout AND ED huh? I'm getting hot just thinking about it.
 Behind-Blue-Eyes_53
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 128
Affairs: Would you ever get together with a married person?
Posted: 6/29/2015 1:25:42 AM
Jeeze, I've never had to beg for sex...... Most the time there wasn't even a lot of talk about sex......

Though I still don't get what an Inebriated Woman, in a Bar, gets out of Reaching into My pants & Fondling Me & stopping at that.... Then going home by themselves at the close of the Bar....
Unless it's the in Public part.....

Grabbing Your Breasts while Your hands are full..... Sounds like someone who needs a swift kick to the Family Jewels..... I'd understand more, someone grabbing your purse & running off, than that.....

As for the Romance Part.... it's even more fun when Ya both feel like you're teenagers again....
 2ufo
Joined: 2/28/2015
Msg: 129
Affairs: Would you ever get together with a married person?
Posted: 6/29/2015 4:20:33 AM
NG - so, as I understand your verbal wanderings, simply because she's the one saying she's married but she's going to fvck one of the guys in the bar anyway - you're going try to be first in the line up because when the husband sees the reality tape, he's going to be angry at her and not you?

I stand by my original statement.
And, just a warning to be careful; some guys don't care that you didn't know she was married.

...the sin they do by two and two,
They must pay for one by one
(Tomlinson, Rudyard Kipling)
 BelleAtlantic
Joined: 11/7/2012
Msg: 130
Affairs: Would you ever get together with a married person?
Posted: 6/29/2015 7:46:09 AM
A little taken back by the whole pressure for sex, for I surely should be the one suffering from such adventures. My profile used to be the kind that sort of left things in the air, while emphasizing that my priority is food. I don't agree to questionable dates (drinks, coffee, a walk , etc), I only agree to dinner (and I eat a lot), I'm in no disposition for sex after eating, I'm very serious in person (on a date), I don't think I look like someone you'd try to even say the wrong thing to, lol, but I do put people at ease.

I also defy expectations, I'm sure that when they are messaging me and I agree to a date, that they think they are meeting a typical woman from the Bronx (mostly ghetto), with a ghetto disposition and questionable use of language, who would be just fine going to any restaurant and consider it fine dining, that my self-esteem or confidence may be on the floor because I'm not skinny, and who knows what else they think women from the Bronx are like or in general. It's like a total shock between what they're expecting, and who I am, and it throws them off whatever they were intending to do.

Yes, I have gotten the standard assessing for sex disposition while messaging, but never in person. Either they don't want to ruin the date, they know I'm going to brush it off as a joke, or if I take them up on the offer, I'm gonna start by asking if I can stick my fingers up their arse and find other clever ways for them to get scared of what I may do, and just call it a night. You can sort of tell what they wouldn't be "game for, and it wouldn't be my first time scaring someone away.

Try being a little less easy going about setting up the dates, so they don't think you're "game" for whatever. I don't even agree to a date until I know exactly where we are going and if I approve of the venue. We don't start with "when are you free?", it's more like "what is your idea of a date?" because if they something I'm not alright with, the rest is shot.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 131
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Affairs: Would you ever get together with a married person?
Posted: 6/29/2015 12:16:01 PM
A person is 100% responsible for their own actions, no one fooling around with a married person is innocent. If you don't bother to know some one well enough to know if they are married/with someone, then you are responsible for what you do with a person, saying they seduced you or lied is total BS. If you have sex with strangers, that's on you. While they are also 100% responsible for what they are doing, that doesn't make someone involved with them guilt free. What a crock to blame others for ones own actions.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 132
Affairs: Would you ever get together with a married person?
Posted: 6/29/2015 2:23:43 PM
^^^^^^^
That's not always true. It's very possible that a person lied about their marital status. That person could have been discreet. And there wasn't any solid evidence or clues to suggest that person was married or in a relationship.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 133
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Affairs: Would you ever get together with a married person?
Posted: 6/29/2015 4:14:35 PM
That's when you take responsibility for being with a person you don't know well enough to know if they are living with someone or not. I'm not saying people are not going to do this stuff, I'm saying you are not innocent, seduced, or a victim. You didn't find out, that's your responsibility to take, doesn't matter who it is, doesn't matter if it's me, we are responsible for our behavior. Of course there are liars out there looking to get what they can, and that all on them, but that doesn't mean someone has to go along with it. Either find things out for sure, or don't, but that action is on each of us. Unless someone is raped, they have willingly participated in sexual activity with someone else.
 IL_Capitano
Joined: 11/23/2012
Msg: 134
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Affairs: Would you ever get together with a married person?
Posted: 6/29/2015 6:39:37 PM

Capitano, your cuckold situation was more of a threesome than anything else. It's not about someone having to sneak around or seek fulfillment with someone else, which is why no, I wouldn't consider it an affair either.


Well, yeah, there were three of us, ergo, a threesome.

What amazed me was the men who were turned on by the situation. I could understand the women, since having two men SEEMS to be a fairly common fantasy of may women. Shit, if I were a woman , I would definitely see the turn-on and with a husband/BF who was into it, why not.

Granted, I didn't have to stay around for any emotional fall-out, which is possible, even likely, in some cases. I was going through a spot where I just didn't want any encumbrances but I was horny. The funny thing is that one of my longest ever relationships was with a couple.

Different time, different space.

 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 135
Affairs: Would you ever get together with a married person?
Posted: 6/29/2015 6:47:27 PM

That's when you take responsibility for being with a person you don't know well enough to know if they are living with someone or not. I'm not saying people are not going to do this stuff, I'm saying you are not innocent, seduced, or a victim. You didn't find out, that's your responsibility to take...


We can agree to disagree. Suppose I had went out on multiple dates with a woman before having sex with her. Unless she did or said things that were suspicious, I'm not going to have any solid reasons or evidence to think that she was married or in a relationship. Maybe I should make her take a polygraph test. LOL.
 sealady111
Joined: 5/31/2015
Msg: 136
Affairs: Would you ever get together with a married person?
Posted: 6/29/2015 6:52:05 PM
Oh... Both my Gout/ED and grope men turned out to be married.

Again.... poor memory as I had asked them previously and they had said no. Not married.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 137
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Affairs: Would you ever get together with a married person?
Posted: 6/29/2015 7:08:45 PM

so, as I understand your verbal wanderings, simply because she's the one saying she's married but she's going to fvck one of the guys in the bar anyway - you're going try to be first in the line up because when the husband sees the reality tape, he's going to be angry at her and not you?

The reality show taping was just a hypothetical means, later added, to put my place in the SO's shoes -- as if I secretly saw what happened. A better way to put it would be a SO coming back from vaycay and saying she hooked up with a couple guys and added "I went after them, and, well, stuff went down." Would me anger be diverted toward these random strangers she was chasing, if some or all of the ones she seduced ended up knowing she was taken (hence, having to be seduced)? No. If it were, and yes, it WILL be with some guys, that'd be primitive jealousy, and not a platform to judge right & wrong. I didn't know these guys from Adam, and neither did she.

OMG!!! No! definately not! you have a 'blame' thing going on.

Well, so do you. You're actually More readily whipping the blame game out on multiple parties, I'm not... but both of us have a blame game going on -- that's what this thread's about, duh! It's just where it's pointed and if/when in multiple directions. My example is when it's pointed in One direction (the SO porking/getting-porked).

You go into things saying 'what can I get away with' and if it goes wrong 'who can I blame'.

No, not at all. That's emotional bias by you. I know you like to see that as an excuse since you're a gal -- but all that does is fuel the concept that people have a hard time Logically constructing true right/wrong/blame/etc when it comes to these issues.

Its kind of tasteless, so why go there.

Sure -- such a scenario is tasteless regardless of whether there's any cheating going on. If it's a gal going up there looking for c0ck, and she has an LTR she lives with but not married, is that better? NO. Now, say she's 100% single and she's craving c0ck in the same scenario lining the guys up in this fictional scenario. Is that "tasteful" by any means? NO! :) It's not about

Also, she is a woman, not a slab of meat to be shagged for your pleasure

Yes -- very good point! Exactly. However, some guys will want to take some of the blame OFF her and onto even a random guy who's also on vacation in the same spot a thousand miles away being seduced by her, because of the Primitive notion that women are inferior creatures who can't make decisions well (yet, raise kids? doesn't make sense; but anyway...). That's looking at women as a slab of meat.

I agree. Also, a sign of a good man is one who wont play around with another mans wife, even if shes begging for it.

I think the warning to be careful when some guys don't care that you didn't know she was TAKEN (why is everyone ONLY applying this to being Married?! Cheating's OK if you're not married?! Sick!) -- is about the concept of running into Trouble.

The concept of running into trouble is different than Actually doing something wrong. And obviously one can be running into trouble + doing something wrong, but they're Not At All always going to be equal. It'd be very silly to use one (trouble) to measure how bad the other (wrong) was, and vice-versa -- in a situation by situation basis.

I've already written so much but in a nutshell -- if the Taken person is seducing random people far & away removed from any connections to them or their SO, all the blame falls on that Taken person. I wouldn't expect some random vacationing guy in FL, if he caught wind the gal who's wanting to blow him underneath the nightclub table was taken, to say "Whoah whoah whoah! Bad! I would Never do such a thing! Bye!", and I would Expect him to. If said gal was doing such a thing, one would be a moron to think he was the only guy she crossed lines with, anyway.
 clooneystutor
Joined: 3/8/2015
Msg: 138
Affairs: Would you ever get together with a married person?
Posted: 6/29/2015 7:18:24 PM
While I agree with not 'pushing for quick sex', I do think a number of women perceive a man as 'just wanting sex' if he disappears after the third date.

Said fellow wouldn't even have had to touch the gal or mention the word sex, yet he's perceived as 'just wanting sex' because he vanished after the third date.

This logic is...hmm...arrogant?
 sealady111
Joined: 5/31/2015
Msg: 139
Affairs: Would you ever get together with a married person?
Posted: 6/29/2015 7:23:37 PM
^^^^
Maybe if a person chooses not to see the other after 3 dates they don't want to see the other person again.
 clooneystutor
Joined: 3/8/2015
Msg: 140
Affairs: Would you ever get together with a married person?
Posted: 6/29/2015 7:27:10 PM
^^^
Exactly.

Sometimes, it really is that simple.

Yet, a few gals have told me that they knew the guy just wanted sex because he vanished after a few dates.

No mention of lewd, rude or Doctor Octopus behavior either.

So, either they slept with these guys, or they have telepathy.
 123nightmoves
Joined: 6/2/2015
Msg: 141
Affairs: Would you ever get together with a married person?
Posted: 6/29/2015 7:35:08 PM
I guess it's easier for women to say "he just wanted sex" instead of admitting that he just wasn't feeling it or just wasn't into her .
 Strawberry_Jello
Joined: 5/13/2014
Msg: 142
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Affairs: Would you ever get together with a married person?
Posted: 6/29/2015 7:39:27 PM
I just experienced the "must have been abducted by aliens" phenomena Saturday. Everything was fine on Thursday, lots of kissing and cuddling. It wasn't lewd, rude, or Dr O, just intense. But I declined to go in the bedroom. Saturday morning he sent me an email wanting to come over. I didn't see it for an hour. In that hour he decided not to bother anymore. He didn't respond to my reply, and he was online. Haven't heard from him since, where before it was always once in the morning and once at night.
I believe now that all he wanted was sex, and he decided I was too much bother, seeing as how I didn't go for it on Thursday, our 2nd date.



^^^
Exactly.

Sometimes, it really is that simple.

Yet, a few gals have told me that they knew the guy just wanted sex because he vanished after a few dates.

No mention of lewd, rude or Doctor Octopus behavior either.

So, either they slept with these guys, or they have telepathy.
 MaleFeasance
Joined: 3/13/2015
Msg: 143
Affairs: Would you ever get together with a married person?
Posted: 6/29/2015 7:48:16 PM
Maybe if a person chooses not to see the other after 3 dates they don't want to see the other person again.
------------
Three dates and no sex and I would assume a woman wasn't interested enough to go out with again.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 144
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Affairs: Would you ever get together with a married person?
Posted: 6/29/2015 9:03:22 PM
No, no polygraph test, my reaction was to the idea that one person is using the other, one person is the victim, one is horrible, when in fact, two people choose to have sex without knowing that much about the other. If you have casual sex with someone you don't really know, don't play victim, you willingly had sex with someone you don't really know. That's my point, when a person wants to have sex they often will, but don't come back like you were used, when in fact you didn't bother to really find out.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 145
Affairs: Would you ever get together with a married person?
Posted: 6/29/2015 9:22:41 PM
Casual sex and having some type of relationship with a person that is married / taken are 2 separate topics. But sometimes a man ( or a woman ) can lie about their intentions. He can be charming and pretends that he really likes a woman. They have multiple dates before having sex. That's a different situation than having sex with someone that you met just at a bar a few hours earlier.
 Strawberry_Jello
Joined: 5/13/2014
Msg: 146
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Affairs: Would you ever get together with a married person?
Posted: 6/30/2015 6:24:53 AM
There are people IRL, both men and women, who don't frequent the forums, who have never heard of the 3 date rule. This is the only place I've ever heard of it. Sometimes there's a mutual feeling on date one, sometimes people date for weeks. Every relationship is different.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 147
Affairs: Would you ever get together with a married person?
Posted: 6/30/2015 7:04:24 AM

There are people IRL, both men and women, who don't frequent the forums, who have never heard of the 3 date rule. This is the only place I've ever heard of it. Sometimes there's a mutual feeling on date one, sometimes people date for weeks. Every relationship is different.


I have heard of it before I started using the forums. But I don't necessarily agree with it though. Having sex on the first or second date doesn't necessarily mean a person is a player or slut. Not having sex within 3 dates doesn't necessarily mean a person isn't interested. It can depend on the circumstances and the people involved.
 Ladyinred4755
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 148
Affairs: Would you ever get together with a married person?
Posted: 6/30/2015 7:08:44 AM

.........the 3 date rule.............


One of the first things I noticed about my BF, when we met was.........(drum rolllllll)......

He DID NOT KNOW the rules! He was oblivious to any dating rules written or unwritten.
He had NO idea some stupid azz came up with a set of "Dating rules".

These "Rules" seem to exist, mainly thru OLD sites, although there are a few who want to follow "the rules", who have never joined an OLD site. They heard it from somewhere, there were "Dating/when to have sex, rules".
And there are "Rules police" everywhere! GRRRRRR! LOL, The last man who had the nerve to try to arrest me for not following "The Rules", ???????????...........LMAO (evil laugh)

Now OT, The answer is, no.
 2ufo
Joined: 2/28/2015
Msg: 149
Affairs: Would you ever get together with a married person?
Posted: 6/30/2015 7:19:08 AM
^^^^^
Agreed.

What rules? Did you hand me a timetable on our first meet delineating how our dating and courtship would go? Did I get to peek at the last page to see if we lived happily ever after? Or did you just dump me because I didn't initiate or decide to have sex by date #3? I'd never heard of this rule, nor do I abide by it.

NG - I have no respect for you in writing that there is no blame attached to the recipient of sexual advances of a married or 'taken' person. Your further explanations/justification of trying to place the blame only on one person does not improve my opinion.
 123nightmoves
Joined: 6/2/2015
Msg: 150
Affairs: Would you ever get together with a married person?
Posted: 6/30/2015 7:40:25 AM
I had never heard of the 3 date rule either. Seems odd. I figured that by this age I could make up my mind when I wanted to have sex and it might be somewhere between the salad and dinner course and never.

I wish there were a word posting rule for the boring folks like Vicki and NG that must write a novel. From what I understand they've been asked to shorten it up and won't so now the majority just ignore them. They can ignore this post too.
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