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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > You get blocked just for sending a message?      Home login  
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 canoga77
Joined: 5/25/2008
Msg: 26
You get blocked just for sending a message?Page 2 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
It's inevitable that if you're on this site long enough, you're going to forget you've messaged women before who are not interested in you. Some of these women are going to get irritated and block you. Hey, I can't help it you've been on this site for years and still can't find someone because you're so persnickety and are looking for that perfect match who doesn't exist.

Anyway, if women want to block me, fine. I just wish their profile would disappear from my searches so I don't have to send them a message to see that I'm blocked.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 27
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You get blocked just for sending a message?
Posted: 10/15/2015 1:28:51 AM
I wonder how the woman presents herself on the profile that she gets so many creepy messages?? it may be the area she lives in or she may be the new girl. If so the messages will diminish. Plenty of men who institutionalised and otherwise undesirable swim in these murky waters. She can just opt out after all.

Delete and block is the way to go in case the guy comes back again and it saves a lot of bother. Need to have a thick skin for this game and not take anything too personally.

..
 newstart1949
Joined: 6/16/2010
Msg: 28
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You get blocked just for sending a message?
Posted: 12/9/2015 10:28:10 AM
Wow the site is really weird. I just got the nicest message from a user.
Since I was on line I replied back almost immediately.
When I clicked send I was informed that he had blocked me.
Is this some type of game that some of the POF people play, I mean he contacted me.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 29
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You get blocked just for sending a message?
Posted: 12/9/2015 9:40:23 PM
When a woman blocks you they don't want to hear from you again when you have forgotten or are drunk etc. They don't like your pics and your stats, so the message you send means nothing. They are not obligated to acknowledge you or respond. Welcome to online dating.........and you can leave any time you wish.
 beverduster
Joined: 5/11/2008
Msg: 30
You get blocked just for sending a message?
Posted: 12/17/2015 3:28:01 PM
mayby see wasnt ready to get married
 Nth_degree1111
Joined: 9/16/2009
Msg: 31
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You get blocked just for sending a message?
Posted: 12/18/2015 6:57:39 AM

They aren't interested. It doesn't matter why. It doesn't matter how the tell you or if they tell you or if they just block you. All you need to understand is that they each have their prefered way of showing lack of interest. They get you message, they look at your profile and they are not interested.


Exactly. Op, there are some very disrespectful, classless, cowardly people out there. It sucks, and I wish I could change it, but the "get over it" crowd keeps up anchored.
 SLAFFA
Joined: 8/13/2007
Msg: 32
You get blocked just for sending a message?
Posted: 12/19/2015 12:37:41 AM
It's not a giant leap that folks who "enjoy" the block button and can probably find it blindfolded, are the same ones who can just as easily find the report user or Report pic buttons. Or delete thread buttons. It may just be nothing more than they have very little control of things in their own life???

I suspect some of these folks ^^^ are now unwittingly deleting themselves because of their button pushing addiction. It could easily account for at least a few of the recent "mysterious" disappearances it would seem.
 TrvstInKarma
Joined: 9/1/2015
Msg: 33
You get blocked just for sending a message?
Posted: 12/19/2015 10:17:42 AM
I have blocked people after they sent me numerous messages - from different accounts. This one guy has been messaging me on different dating sites for years, and the second I see his face in my inbox, I block him. I'm not interested, how hard is that to understand. It's rude and harassment to keep getting contacted by those people. Most women get a fair amount of messages, and it's utterly frustrating when the usual suspects keep sending a message day in day out and clutter up the inbox, so blocking seems the only way to stop that nonsense. Unless, of course, the keep making new profiles, like some of these guys have done.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 34
You get blocked just for sending a message?
Posted: 12/19/2015 11:40:41 AM
^^^^^^

I have the same problem with the sweet things half my age. It can get quite irritating, at times.

I then awake, and irritation all gone.

Just like that.
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 35
You get blocked just for sending a message?
Posted: 12/21/2015 9:49:39 AM
I've blocked a few people. I'm glad the service is available.
 Like2dance
Joined: 4/13/2013
Msg: 36
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You get blocked just for sending a message?
Posted: 12/23/2015 1:52:34 PM
When I receive a message from someone entirely inappropriate for me I routinely block the sender from pestering me further and wasting my time.
 Lasthookbringsme
Joined: 11/8/2015
Msg: 37
You get blocked just for sending a message?
Posted: 12/24/2015 5:20:21 AM
The block option is my best ally.
 rockstartrucker82
Joined: 11/22/2015
Msg: 38
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You get blocked just for sending a message?
Posted: 12/26/2015 8:32:53 AM

Not completely sure if this is true, but I heard a person's profile could be deleted if (s)he is blocked a certain amount of times. Having said that, when a person is blocked, it is simply best to move on.


I remember seeing this explained somewhere on the site once. They might have stopped doing it thanks to the "I fear confrontation" crowd abusing the crap out of the block button, because I just went looking for it and couldn't find it... But I definitely remember that being one of the reasons for accounts getting deleted.

Honestly, if you can't deal with the fact that they're going to email you again, combined with your amazing superpower that you need to learn to harnest where you can just delete the new message without opening it, then you just shouldn't be here. I completely agree with blocking abusive people, but until we can get a solid confirmation on this, that button shouldn't be abused the way it is.
 LexiInMDR
Joined: 8/25/2015
Msg: 39
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You get blocked just for sending a message?
Posted: 12/31/2015 8:02:03 PM
Yeah, I confess... I'm guilty of that.

It doesn't matter to me what the guy looks like... if he just writes "hi" or "hey" or some flirty come-on in Cookie-monster English, I block him and forget it. It's been my experience that the dumbest guys are also the horniest.

TBH I wouldn't be surprised to check my inbox to find a pic of some tongue-lolling retarded guy with "DUH!!!" in the subject line. (Sorry, but I don't find mentally disabled people charming or cute.)

OTOH then there are the sob stories... man oh man, some of the guys who've messaged me sounded like "wounded souls".

I'm pretty close to just buying a mannequin and calling it a day.
 NJgirl116
Joined: 7/3/2015
Msg: 40
You get blocked just for sending a message?
Posted: 12/31/2015 8:34:06 PM
I never use the block feature. I think not responding is sufficient. Blocking for no good reason is like having a temper tantrum in the middle of an empty room. I don't remember ever having a reason to block anyone.
 rockstartrucker82
Joined: 11/22/2015
Msg: 41
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You get blocked just for sending a message?
Posted: 1/2/2016 7:23:33 PM

It's been my experience that the dumbest guys are also the horniest.


No, that's pretty much every guy. Just some of us have more self control.

And a "hi" isn't exactly because he's dumb. I do short first messages a lot. Why should I tailor this perfect message specifically for you, just for you to never respond? Ofc, after that first response, you need to be way more interesting, but you gotta be realistic about how much effort you expect from people who are most likely going to be rejected by you before you even read the message.
 dahlingdarling
Joined: 5/11/2012
Msg: 42
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You get blocked just for sending a message?
Posted: 1/5/2016 9:34:32 PM
No you don't get blocked just for sending a message. You get blocked because they no longer want any communication with you.

Honestly for the male whiners on here if you can't deal with the fact that you can no longer message a gal who doesn't want contact with you then you shouldn't be here. Be real honest about why you are so butthurt that you're blocked instead of claiming it's 'abuse' or 'wrong' for a gal to block a guy.
 Lasthookbringsme
Joined: 11/8/2015
Msg: 43
You get blocked just for sending a message?
Posted: 1/6/2016 6:31:30 AM

And a "hi" isn't exactly because he's dumb. I do short first messages a lot. Why should I tailor this perfect message specifically for you, just for you to never respond? Ofc, after that first response, you need to be way more interesting, but you gotta be realistic about how much effort you expect from people who are most likely going to be rejected by you before you even read the message.


You could always expect to be rejected (or not be everybody's preferred date) and enjoy the surprise when they respond to you.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 44
You get blocked just for sending a message?
Posted: 1/6/2016 7:03:33 AM

It doesn't matter to me what the guy looks like... if he just writes "hi" or "hey" or some flirty come-on in Cookie-monster English, I block him and forget it. It's been my experience that the dumbest guys are also the horniest.


Perhaps he said "hi" or "hey" because most of his well written emails didn't get a positive reply. I have written various types of initial emails and it didn't have an impact on my response rate. However I often got more emails from women after I added new and better pictures of myself and sometimes ( to a lesser extent ) after I revised my profile.

When I was on another dating site, most women that contacted me first sent me "winks" or "How are you?" messages. It didn't bother me. If there was nothing about them that was a clear dealbreaker to me, I would exchange some emails and see what happens.

Unless the first email was crude ( sexual content ), overaggressive ( asking her out right away ), or filled with spelling / grammar, I don't think it should matter what a person writes. The purpose of the first email is to determine initial interest based on the pictures and profile. Subsequent emails can determine how articulate or lazy a person is.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 45
You get blocked just for sending a message?
Posted: 1/6/2016 7:05:19 AM
^^^^^
meant to say filled with spelling / grammar mistakes on the last paragraph. Couldn't edit my post.
 HawkingJr
Joined: 4/16/2007
Msg: 46
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You get blocked just for sending a message?
Posted: 1/6/2016 7:57:12 AM
When you attempt to block a person, there really should be a warning (on top of the warning that already exists) that if you block that person, you are contributing to that person’s deletion quota. If that was the case, I doubt so many users would have such a cavalier attitude about blocking people.

Undoubtedly the reason there are currently so many forum regulars missing is because it IS possible to block someone without any messages being exchanged and it IS possible to lose your account if you are blocked by enough people. This has been covered many times by moderators, Markus and lay people, yet still I find several in this thread, some of whom have no doubt been victims of block deletion themselves, touting the benefits of blocking anybody for any reason. Blocking people out of the forums has become a pastime for some. It was most definitely an unintended consequence of the way the block feature was set up.

As someone who has sent out over 10,000 messages, undoubtedly I’ve been blocked a few (hundred) times despite never sending out anything inappropriate, so I’m pretty sure the block quota is a percentage and not a flat number, but if your profile is relatively new, it probably won’t take much for it to be brought down. I’ve never blocked anyone in 9 years on this thing, but then again when you go 3 years without a new unsolicited message, there tends not to be much reason to use that feature. I feel like it was a good idea, but badly implemented and certainly abused, both in and beyond the forums.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 10/31/2015
Msg: 47
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You get blocked just for sending a message?
Posted: 1/6/2016 8:37:37 AM

When you attempt to block a person, there really should be a warning (on top of the warning that already exists) that if you block that person, you are contributing to that person’s deletion quota. If that was the case, I doubt so many users would have such a cavalier attitude about blocking people.

Frankly, I don't think people would give a damn. If they don't want to talk to you, they're not going to care whether or not you talk to anybody else.

I would be nice to force block-happy people to stop and read and consider a profile once in a while, but when spammers are in here sending HUNDREDS of messages every day, some people don't have the time or patience to distinguish between the 85 worthless messages they got, and the 15 that may have something of substance.

I kind of wish the non-premium people in here would still get the "Unread-Deleted" alerts from their sent messages, and add in an extra word... "Unread-Deleted-Blocked" so that they knew composing a new message is a lost cause. I've spent vast amounts of time composing carefully worded messages of a few paragraphs or more to select choices in here - only to find out AFTER hitting 'send' that they had a block up. That's enough to tear your hair out sometimes.
 Chromis1
Joined: 9/9/2015
Msg: 48
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You get blocked just for sending a message?
Posted: 1/6/2016 9:04:43 AM

I've spent vast amounts of time composing carefully worded messages of a few paragraphs or more to select choices in here - only to find out AFTER hitting 'send' that they had a block up. That's enough to tear your hair out sometimes.


Am I to assume that you've spent said time composing said messages following a previous message to which there was no response?
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 10/31/2015
Msg: 49
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You get blocked just for sending a message?
Posted: 1/6/2016 9:45:08 AM

Am I to assume that you've spent said time composing said messages following a previous message to which there was no response?

Yes - from weeks/months earlier. In some cases, a response WAS given, but was bland or noncommittal.

- I don't believe for a minute that 'No Reply' means 'No' for all of time. People do change their minds. It's not harassment if you send a polite message maybe 3-4 times a year. Hell, most people won't even remember if a message was unread/deleted from months ago. Obviously if they block, they do remember - or don't want to remember.
 Chromis1
Joined: 9/9/2015
Msg: 50
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You get blocked just for sending a message?
Posted: 1/6/2016 11:11:28 AM

I don't believe for a minute that 'No Reply' means 'No' for all of time. People do change their minds.


Perhaps, but I think it happens only seldom.


It's not harassment if you send a polite message maybe 3-4 times a year.


Perhaps not, but it can be annoying as fvck.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > You get blocked just for sending a message?