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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > For the guys...am I getting blown off? What's up?      Home login  
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 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 25
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For the guys...am I getting blown off? What's up?Page 2 of 2    (1, 2)

At this point, he could be blowing you off, maybe not.
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It doesn't really matter what he is doing. His behaviour doesn't indicate obvious interest and life is too short to play games or wonder what is going. She should just forget about him and tell him tough luck. He won't get any better.

At THAT more initial point, I was freeze-framing it. At THAT point, it was just the previous day that he didn't respond. Enough to raise an eyebrow, but on the weekends, not enough to call it off, IMO. Enough to lower expectations, not enough to buzz him off Yet, At That Point. Remember, after him not responding to her last text the day before which got her worried... :

I waited til about noon today and I sent him a text saying that I was still interested in getting together with him again. He did respond briefly that he had just returned from a morning conference and make a joke about it.

Okay, he responded. Her sending more than one text yesterday should, again, have drawn questions, but it was the weekend and he's single as is she. He did respond to this early in the day -- but yes, avoided her repeated question about when to get together again to get it more solidified. At this point, yeah, okay -- he's not wanting to set a Date most likely.

I replied and said "Do you want to hang out? No answer, so I called his phone and left a nice message. Still no answer, no response.

As a side note, from her post she sounds like she very freely hounds. I would assume (but wasn't there) that that "schtick" was prevalent during the week earlier which contributed to him being not-so-into-her. I'm Not justifying on how he handled it.

I guess the best advice next time would be if you're itching to get a Date set, and they seem to avoid it -- don't chase them. If they seemed to have avoided ONE text, don't send another to generate convo -- just say "Well, let me know when you're available for a date. If not, best of luck," and stop it there. I think people (girls and guys) avoid that out of fear in the back of their mind they just won't respond... and it just... ends right there for good (and they fear that; especially when things kicked off so well).
 Ash0884
Joined: 12/10/2011
Msg: 26
For the guys...am I getting blown off? What's up?
Posted: 6/22/2015 9:30:25 PM
At least you found this out sooner rather than later and didn't waste too much time. You can now move on to someone who is more serious about getting to know you.
 k9terry
Joined: 5/1/2015
Msg: 27
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For the guys...am I getting blown off? What's up?
Posted: 6/22/2015 10:49:23 PM
whimsygltz: I read the last line in your profile. I seems to me that you are getting a taste of your own medicine.

Perhaps the old saying "If you cannot say something nice don't say anything at all." does not apply with technology dating. Perhaps people would at least appreciate a reply (Pos or Neg if nicely put) than no reply at all. It's obvious you don't like it.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 28
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For the guys...am I getting blown off? What's up?
Posted: 6/22/2015 11:11:49 PM

Perhaps the old saying "If you cannot say something nice don't say anything at all." does not apply with technology dating. Perhaps people would at least appreciate a reply (Pos or Neg if nicely put) than no reply at all. It's obvious you don't like it.

To be fair, I have to disagree -- even though I'm not overly-sympathetic to the situation she ran into (I think she was stringing herself along with him doing it too for much of it).

Online, you don't have anything going when someone writes an initial message. You're not obliged to respond, actually. It's not more courteous. There are always potential hisses back at the person who responds back, especially with a cheesy cut-n-paste No Thank You one-liner. When you write someone you've never talked to, don't Expect a response. They're a complete stranger who you never were within 10 feet of. There's no obligation.

Now, if you were Writing them -- THEN yes, then the obligation starts to come into play and not just "poof" disappear. Varies on the exchange to the degree of potential offense the other may take -- as you still haven't met them yet. A lower dose of the "same medicine", but still in the same ballpark as merely having a "pre-season date" if there was depth and length to ongoing communication. I think THIS is where you'd make the comparison -- not a stranger sending another stranger an initial message in their flooded inbox from strangers (and non-strangers).
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 29
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For the guys...am I getting blown off? What's up?
Posted: 6/23/2015 12:28:20 AM
He may be married or have a partner. You met once I believe??? He is probably seeing others and his lack of response tells you that he is not interested right now.. He may however call you again when and if his other options run out.... You need not to get too carried away with a first meet and I would not text him again. If a man wants to see you he will make the time. You are a pretty woman and I am sure will have other chances but online meets can be fraught with deceit and illusion, so be careful....
 ThePig0fYourDreams
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 30
For the guys...am I getting blown off? What's up?
Posted: 6/23/2015 3:24:37 AM
He may very well be having sex with men.

Hope this helps.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 31
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For the guys...am I getting blown off? What's up?
Posted: 6/23/2015 4:47:03 AM
Sealady
I hope you have actually heard the voice of the guy who you are still considering meeting. He may also be playing games and just gets off on the texting and fantasising but either does not have the balls to show or is in a relationship of some kind. If he does not show up within a week or so I would be blocking him if it were me.
 ThePig0fYourDreams
Joined: 2/2/2015
Msg: 32
For the guys...am I getting blown off? What's up?
Posted: 6/23/2015 8:44:14 AM

does not have the balls to show


Wow, that's probably the saltiest language I've seen from you on here.

Daddy likes. :)
 Stormy100k
Joined: 5/15/2015
Msg: 33
For the guys...am I getting blown off? What's up?
Posted: 6/27/2015 4:07:30 PM
Yes, he is blowing you off or he has another woman. Honey, being patient is not the answer. When the writing is on the way, there's no need to get second opinions, it usually very clear.

There are better fish out there!
 newoldgirl
Joined: 4/16/2015
Msg: 34
For the guys...am I getting blown off? What's up?
Posted: 6/27/2015 5:43:16 PM
This is one of the reasons I think texting is stupid.

It takes nearly NO effort to text people. Almost ZERO. Some people actually use texting as a way to pass the time, not unlike chatting with someone in line at the MOT or the doctor's office. Some people even feel sought after and important just because their stupid phone bleeps every thirty seconds with messages from anyone and everyone. So lame. Meanwhile, the person on the other end of the conversation thinks it means something.

I understand, OP, that you met and felt the "click". A potential relationship needs more than that. It needs both people to feel the click, and both people actually have to be looking for the same thing.

Also, you may have said or done something that ruled you out as a potential partner. I had a good date with a man recently who mentioned that had no relationship with children. For me, huge red flag, but am I going to tell him that? No. I am just going to say we are not a match and move on.

I do not play phone or message tag because I never give my phone number to someone I have no interest in hearing from again, and if we have exchanged numbers and I do lose interest, I let him know we are not going to continue seeing each other.
 PinkyAndTheBrain83
Joined: 3/14/2017
Msg: 35
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For the guys...am I getting blown off? What's up?
Posted: 9/11/2017 6:29:42 AM
Don't hold your breath on this guy. keep and open mind to him for now since he "apparently" has a busy sch. But keep looking and don't let him waste your time. If he doesn't respond to messages about a real date but would respond when you were just chatting then he has obviously lost interest or busy with another woman.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 36
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For the guys...am I getting blown off? What's up?
Posted: 9/11/2017 2:04:35 PM

It takes nearly NO effort to text people. Almost ZERO. Some people actually use texting as a way to pass the time, not unlike chatting with someone in line at the MOT or the doctor's office. Some people even feel sought after and important just because their stupid phone bleeps every thirty seconds with messages from anyone and everyone.

Texting isn't stupid. Most people who aren't interested, aren't going to text much. Certainly not regularly part of an every-30-second cycle by someone who's not interested. A bland response to an online text on POF/Match/OKC, and another handful -- shouldn't have much stock in it, sure. People would rather pass the time in the doctor's office with someone they're interested in. Most aren't going to want to banter back-n-forth consistently with someone they're not interested in. Maybe for an initial conversation when bored & lonely, but few will go on after -- and of those, most aren't going to be shy from "lame" phone calls here and there.

Most people who hate text actually don't like it because it's out of their normal "way" of communication and it's not a "no effort" thing for many of them. They'd simply rather talk on the phone, and see texting as a diversion from that (but trust me, plenty of gals who want to stock-pile both).
 npw7557
Joined: 7/20/2015
Msg: 37
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For the guys...am I getting blown off? What's up?
Posted: 10/7/2017 11:42:54 AM
He maybe got a better offer and is letting you down gently ?

Maybe playing hard to get to keep you interested ?

Maybe simply very busy and hasn't had the time to give you.

Seems a bit rude not to answer your messages properly though.

Maybe kick him into touch before he does it to you ?

If you have to chase him now then maybe thats how its always going to be ?
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