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 CrookCatcher
Joined: 7/14/2014
Msg: 251
Dealbreakers and +'s in a profilePage 11 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)

Ah, yes, exactly what I’m looking for. A good excuse to rent a tux, dress up, and be uncomfortable for hours.


I don't know, that could be fun with the right type of venue. I did it once. Nothing like being a well dressed commoner amongst the affluent. Lol
 JujuO12
Joined: 8/18/2015
Msg: 252
Dealbreakers and +'s in a profile
Posted: 8/30/2015 5:43:42 PM
I do not list the deal breakers. I have a great many but I tend to just tell the men who have one thank you for your interests but I feel we are a poor match and good luck with your search. Your profile would would be so negative if you listed all the things you are not looking for. I do say I am NOT looking for anything sexual. That saves all the insults that men seeking only sex send as a way of coming on to random women. I also ask that men who do the cut and paste emails to all the women they contact not bother to contact me. When I send a hello email I tailor it to the person I am contacting via their profile. I find it insulting to have a spam hello sent to me.
 VMinRVA95
Joined: 9/13/2014
Msg: 253
Dealbreakers and +'s in a profile
Posted: 8/30/2015 6:59:22 PM
I was able to piece a tux together for under $150 (15 years ago) from vintage clothiers and trousers from Goodwill - shawl collar and cummerbund even. Surprisingly comfortable and easy to clean. The formals I used to attend were rather action packed. No I did not pack a Walther.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 8/14/2015
Msg: 254
Dealbreakers and +'s in a profile
Posted: 8/31/2015 8:17:58 AM

Ah, yes, exactly what I’m looking for. A good excuse to rent a tux, dress up, and be uncomfortable for hours.


I don't know.
Sometimes stepping out of your comfort zone can be fun.
I went to a fancy military ball in DC with someone.
Not a date...more like "want to go to a fancy military ball in DC if you're not doing anything next week?".

Was an awesomely good time.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 255
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Dealbreakers and +'s in a profile
Posted: 9/1/2015 1:42:21 PM

Ah, yes, exactly what I’m looking for. A good excuse to rent a tux, dress up, and be uncomfortable for hours.


browneyesboo
I don't know.
Sometimes stepping out of your comfort zone can be fun.
I went to a fancy military ball in DC with someone.
Not a date...more like "want to go to a fancy military ball in DC if you're not doing anything next week?".

Was an awesomely good time.

Ahh, but this is one of your key differences between men and women. Women enjoy having an excuse to dress up, men don’t.

Yes, I realize that I am generalizing, and this is not universally true. But I believe it is fairly safe to say that women (as a group) enjoy dressing up MUCH more than men.

Don’t get me wrong, I like the fact that men and women are different. As the French are wont to say, “Vive le difference”!!!

The organizer for my Meetup group likes to throw in a “dressy” affair 2 or 3 times per year. Gives the women an excuse to dress up, which they enjoy. The men gripe, but go along with it. And, I have to admit, some of those “dress up” outfits the ladies wear are … ummm… ahh… interesting. Yes, that’s the word, “Interesting!!!”

But a tux? No, too far over the top for me!
 ClooneysMentor
Joined: 8/2/2015
Msg: 256
Dealbreakers and +'s in a profile
Posted: 9/1/2015 3:14:26 PM
Goin' commando in beige Walmart shorts and sandals to get the mail...

Cheetos.

Bottle of wine in a thermos after work.

The simple pleasures in life :)
 02saltydog
Joined: 8/21/2015
Msg: 257
Dealbreakers and +'s in a profile
Posted: 9/1/2015 5:03:13 PM
I wear a suit to work, I have no desire to get into my tux. I prefer casual, dress casual and more times than not and old t shirt, shorts and sandals. A cold beer seems to taste better in shorts and sandals.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 8/14/2015
Msg: 258
Dealbreakers and +'s in a profile
Posted: 9/2/2015 7:31:27 AM
Who doesn't prefer casual clothes and cheetos most times?
I just said it's fun to occasionally dress up.
I've actually worn a tuxedo before...can't say I'd wear one everyday either.
 Ladyinred4755
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 259
Dealbreakers and +'s in a profile
Posted: 9/2/2015 9:36:40 AM
^ ^ ^ ^ I agree Boo! It's not like it's gonna kill ya, to wear a tux!

LOL Not that I know of anyway. Now I have heard guys say, "This collar is soooo tight I'm gonna be choked to death", but I suspect that fear was for nought, LOL. My response to that was, "Here, I'll wear the too tight collar, if you would like to walk around all night in my 4-5 inch skinny heels? ............huh? hellooo, anybody home? ..........hey come back here!
 ClooneysMentor
Joined: 8/2/2015
Msg: 260
Dealbreakers and +'s in a profile
Posted: 9/2/2015 10:35:43 AM
It ain't so much the collar as having to tuck my shirt in.

No tailored fit for this camper!

I'm fine as long as the coat stays on :)
 Whatsamatterbaby
Joined: 5/6/2015
Msg: 261
Dealbreakers and +'s in a profile
Posted: 9/2/2015 11:15:54 AM
I abhor wearing heels, but I love public speaking. I've mcee'd some pretty formal events in bare feet after about the first ten minutes of tolerating heels. I think it was Sylvia Plath who said you could eat salad with your fingers if you made it look like you knew what you were doing. So true.
 ClooneysMentor
Joined: 8/2/2015
Msg: 262
Dealbreakers and +'s in a profile
Posted: 9/2/2015 11:24:31 AM
Absolutely.

When public speaking? Fake it.

Always be confident when you have no clue what you're talking about.
 Whatsamatterbaby
Joined: 5/6/2015
Msg: 263
Dealbreakers and +'s in a profile
Posted: 9/2/2015 11:37:19 AM
^ I didn't say I didn't know what I was talking about :/ However, I do find it interesting to observe how common it is for confidence/adamance to be mistaken for intelligence. You can see it everywhere.
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 264
Dealbreakers and +'s in a profile
Posted: 9/2/2015 12:52:50 PM

When public speaking? Fake it.

Always be confident when you have no clue what you're talking about.


Unless you're talking to a judge. Hehehe. I had this ticket long time ago, and I went to court to fight it. Before me, these sleek guys would talk semi legalese to the judge and She just took them through the coals. When my turn came up, I was a nervous wreck and instead of answering "Guilty" or "Not guilty" I kept saying "innocent" and fumbled through my words in total fear.
What happened was amazing. Instead of taking me through the coals, she turned into this Mother-like type of person and walked me through what I was trying to say and spoon fed it out of me. To then hit her gavel on the wood and and say "Dismiss."
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 265
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Dealbreakers and +'s in a profile
Posted: 9/3/2015 12:23:29 AM
Juju
Just curious, why are you on a dating site if you are not into sex? That is what most people want and one day a guy will ask you about that and perhaps in no uncertain terms lol!!.
 dragonbytes
Joined: 12/25/2014
Msg: 266
Dealbreakers and +'s in a profile
Posted: 9/4/2015 10:44:34 AM

Ah, yes, exactly what I’m looking for. A good excuse to rent a tux, dress up, and be uncomfortable for hours.


Why rent when you can own?

Great thing about tuxes, they stay the same style. But you do have to not grow out of them as you get older.
 coffeetogo127
Joined: 5/16/2015
Msg: 267
Dealbreakers and +'s in a profile
Posted: 9/4/2015 5:42:51 PM
In my world, a tux or a long gown is work clothes! We do what we can to make it as comfortable as possible while playing, and still look good on stage.

I hate confining shoes, and often when I play I slip my shoes off and tuck them under my seat- I wear black nylons, and wear a floor length gown so I thought I would be fine.

At the end of one concert an elderly gentleman and his wife came up to me to compliment my solos and say how much they enjoyed the concert. "We were particularly enthralled by noticing you slip off your shoes as you played," he commented. "Is there a special reason for that?"


I try to just wear more comfortable shoes now, and leave them on!
 zonavar68
Joined: 8/16/2015
Msg: 268
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Dealbreakers and +'s in a profile
Posted: 9/8/2015 12:39:53 AM

Ahh, but this is one of your key differences between men and women. Women enjoy having an excuse to dress up, men don’t.


I think it's more than that. Women are conditioned to believe they have to impress other people with their looks, and in general men are not. It's one of our odd gender-stereotypes.

I've never worn, or had a need to wear, a suit or anything more formal than very smart casual (usually that's only for job interviews), and don't have anything like formal wear in my wardrobe.

All of my jobs for the last 25 years have been industrial transport-industry positions.

I have to admit that if I was to dress formal, I would have zero idea where to start, however it's 'embedded' into the psyche of most adult women to want to dress to impress all the time when outside of their own home, and even sometimes at their own home. I get the fact that if you are having visitors at home you want to look your best, but it doesn't mean 'dressing to the nines' for 99 pct of situations. IMHO at least.

But getting back to the dealbreakers aspect, my main one is someone who smokes, along with someone who drinks excessively, is rude, disrespectful, constantly condescending/critical, and taking the 'my way or the highway' approach.

I actually like it when someone writes back with a very nice, even if short, thanks by no thanks message since that at least means someone's read my initial message if I made the first contact and probably looked at my profile.

But it is SOOOO difficult to work out which profiles are real and which ones aren't, even on a site like this. It's the plethora of fake (more often than not 'phishing') profiles that really erode the confidence of users, especially guys.

Over-riding everything else, coming to the conclusion that a profile showing up in search results, or recommendation lists, it actually fake, is a real downer to having confidence of discovering someone real and genuine who's interested enough to engage in some respectful conversation to see where things might lead, either electronic or phone or in person.
 Olivoil
Joined: 5/3/2015
Msg: 269
Dealbreakers and +'s in a profile
Posted: 9/8/2015 4:53:20 AM
"X2 for me, not a traveller"

What is wrong with you people? Travel, even on a shoestring, backpacking, hostels, is one of the biggest gifts of living in this time.
I don't trust anyone who doesn't want to travel, like people who don't like dogs... Come on...don't you want to see where your ancestors lived, be transported back into history?
And why would you fault someone who does? Not like you are expected to pay our way!
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 270
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Dealbreakers and +'s in a profile
Posted: 9/8/2015 10:44:40 AM

Olivoil
"X2 for me, not a traveller"

What is wrong with you people? Travel, even on a shoestring, backpacking, hostels, is one of the biggest gifts of living in this time.
I don't trust anyone who doesn't want to travel, like people who don't like dogs... Come on...don't you want to see where your ancestors lived, be transported back into history?
And why would you fault someone who does? Not like you are expected to pay our way!


This is one of those, “It’s okay with me as long as I don’t have to do the same.”

Take, for instance, LiterateHiker. She likes to do the equivalent of the Bataan Death March every day and twice on Sundays. Which would be fine, except that she insists any man she dates has to be on the same level. Her dating prospects are close to nil, thanks to that requirement.

Or take religion. I am non religious, but have no problem dating a woman who is religious – unless she insists that I go to church with her, and then we become “not a match”.

The exact same thing is true with traveling. If you have the time and the money and the inclination to spend two months every year globe hopping, more power to you. Just don’t expect me to go with you. I don’t have that much vacation time, and I have other things that I wish to spend my money on.
 Whatsamatterbaby
Joined: 5/6/2015
Msg: 271
Dealbreakers and +'s in a profile
Posted: 9/8/2015 12:00:07 PM
^ This is how I feel about hockey. You can be a hockey fan. You can play hockey, you can go to hockey games, you can spend hockey season watching it at a pub. Hell, you can penetrate yourself with a hockey stick if you want (and I know some men who probably do want to). But I don't want anything to do with it. Don't come to my house to watch it, don't discuss it with me, and don't try to get me to go to hockey games. I'd rather eat sand.
 CynthiaSM
Joined: 3/29/2014
Msg: 272
Dealbreakers and +'s in a profile
Posted: 9/12/2015 6:50:48 AM

OT - dealbreakers in profiles (meaning, things that make me reflexively click next without a second thought):
... - Non-emancipated children (including 4-legged child substitutes)
...- photos with guns, dead deer, animals on the car driver's lap

I passed a horrific multi-car accident on I-5 a couple days ago. It was pretty clear that there was at least one fatality. Next day in the news the report is a car crossed the median and went head-on into another car (the receiving car's driver died immediately), that then hit a couple other cars. Multiple critical injuries. Driver's excuse? Her dog was running around inside the car.

I love dogs. Was raised with dogs. We bred hunting and show dogs. Dog are not humans no matter how many little costumes you dress them in or teach them to "kiss kiss".
 Cat*Eyes
Joined: 9/13/2006
Msg: 273
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Dealbreakers and +'s in a profile
Posted: 9/20/2015 3:08:28 AM
As I just answered in a question much like yours. A person knows what they like and don't like. Just state these things as I do. I do get alot of critical replies and no replies because of this. To find mutually what a person seeks and their likes and dislikes should be said and stated for this reason in their profile., so they can find the right person for them. Being honest about what you like and don't like weeds out the wrong people for you.
 ClooneysMentor
Joined: 8/2/2015
Msg: 274
Dealbreakers and +'s in a profile
Posted: 9/20/2015 4:58:59 AM
I'm still being dishonest about what I don't like and whether or not I'm a person.
 tacitly
Joined: 9/16/2015
Msg: 275
Dealbreakers and +'s in a profile
Posted: 9/20/2015 8:22:03 AM
"Her dating prospects are close to nil, thanks to that requirement."

Her dating prospects are nil because somehow in her development, she failed to comprehend that dating, like love, is give and take and it can't always be about her.
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