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 Hothrod
Joined: 7/16/2015
Msg: 76
Dealbreakers and +'s in a profilePage 4 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)
LasVegaslori, that's quite simply, poor communication, a big dealbreaker with me, if its like that in the beginning how is it going to pan out over time. Personally, I would drop them and move on. As they say, plenty of fish in the sea...

As to the OP's topic, I don't have any hard n' fast rules about profiles, to me, its the WHOLE profile (including pics or not, as the case maybe) before I pass judgement about contacting or not.. profiles give off vibes, its something that can't quite be conceptualized and put into words, more of a gut feeling kind of thing I guess.
 PassionateSunnyGal
Joined: 7/23/2015
Msg: 77
Dealbreakers and +'s in a profile
Posted: 8/14/2015 9:44:38 PM
I prefer someone who is smiling in their picture-I like happy people

Any negative things about the opposite sex especially when it is being told from what they think is a position of authority-where they say don't do this or that--who are you to judge someone else's life...

Just read one profile where the man said women over 50 should never wear red lipstick--well he can just kiss my ass --I'll wear whatever color lipstick I want!!!!

The biggest turnoff to me is when they have their age, then they have pictures of them--and then they have another picture and it is of them now and they look ten years older in that picture than the rest and you realize they lied about their age and posted the other old picture to gain your interest...big turnoff.

When they have several misspelled words in their profile not cause they were in a hurry but cause they really don't know the right word..but at times my phone autocorrects me to the wrong word so Im more tolerant now than I was before.

When there is nothing there but a few nonsense lines, no hobbies or interest and they send the first message with "Hey" ...I know if I respond it will be hours, days, or weeks before they do--they are just bored and want to burn someone else's time.
 pinedrop
Joined: 7/29/2015
Msg: 78
Dealbreakers and +'s in a profile
Posted: 8/15/2015 7:59:43 AM
I am not sure how to start a thread and so i thought i would chime in here. Not sure if it is a deal breaker but one thing that happens often.

I go out with this lady. We have dinner she orders wine and i order ice tea. She realizes (it is on my profile) that i do not drink alcohol. She says to me, "the only people i know that do not drink are Mormons and alcoholics, which are you"?
Needless to say that date went over not well.

I must say that the a lot of women do love their wine. If you see a man's profile and he says he never drinks that should be it. Should i have to explain. OK I will, My Mom was sober and never drank, she was not an alcoholic. My wife was sober and never drank. She was not an alcoholic. My live in girlfriend did not drink. Some of us are attracted to sober women that's all. I am not partial to stale wine breath or crying into a glass. Get some class.

I dated another lady onetime. Same thing. Every time we went out she had alcohol and i did not. I thought maybe one time at lunch or dinner she would not just out of consideration for me, her date. Did not happen. I went recently to a coffee date. She did not know but i googled her ahead of time. She had a DUI within the last 18 months. I wondered what she would order. She drives up in a top down sports car. We go in and she orders a vodka tonic and me with my ice tea. I left shortly thereafter and noticed she wanted to stay at the bar a little longer.

It is kind of hard being a non drinker in a world full of women who like to drink. OH well I survive quite well anyway.
 HalftimeDad
Joined: 5/29/2005
Msg: 79
Dealbreakers and +'s in a profile
Posted: 8/15/2015 8:12:34 AM
Non drinker is actually a deal breaker for me.

I drink very little. A calendar month is more likely to pass without my having a drop than having one. But I do like to share a nice bottle with a nice dinner. We all want to be with someone we can share things with - for me that includes a nice GSM or local Shiraz.
 pinedrop
Joined: 7/29/2015
Msg: 80
Dealbreakers and +'s in a profile
Posted: 8/15/2015 10:07:06 AM
Non drinker is actually a deal breaker for me.

I tend to agree that a non drinker is often times a deal breaker more than the other way around. I quit trying to date at one point because if got tired of the pressure to fit in. Became "serendipitous" as i heard here somewhere.

Do you think it is weird to google a perspective date ahead of time. I do not let on how much i know before hand but i am sure they would be surprised. The info is out there. Best to know who you are dealing with. IMO I imagine they google me. i check arrest records also and any pending charges. At my age who wants to waste time. Like the lady with the DUI. I had already made my mind that depending on what she ordered my mind would be made up. I only knew this cause i checked her out. Maybe i am weird.

on a side note : one lady recently told me "i didn't want a white knight, i wanted some old weird guy who could keep me laughing" gee and i can fix things too.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 81
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History
Dealbreakers and +'s in a profile
Posted: 8/15/2015 11:14:14 AM

I don't get the "I want a man who can make me laugh" thing. Are all these women really waiting for a standup comedian to find them?


That's two very different things, plus I doubt that real comedians spend all their time doing routines. For me that means a man who is easy going, can laugh at things you can do anything about, etc. Someone you feel happy being around. I know I've seen some complaints here about women who say they want a man with a sense of humor, I don't know why someone elses preferences would make a person mad, so if you don't have a sense of humor, you know your not a match, why not move on instead of taking it personally and getting bent out of shape over the idea that some women like some men and neither are going to work for you. I do not get the need to lash out at profiles that are meant to attract you in the first place.


I don't drink, I don't like the taste of alcohol, I don't like myself when drunk and I can't drink more than a few sips before I start getting buzzed. So maybe once a decade or longer, I might have a drink. I don't mind if other people are having drinks, but I don't want to be around people who are drunk, I'm not going to ride in a car with a drunk driver, and I absolutely hate the taste of wine, so those who are really into wine, we'd just bum each other out. Mostly I don't date men who drink, and yes it does limit your choices, but then that's what preference is about. It didn't used to be such a big deal, but in the last decade or so, wine seems to be a hot item.
 pinedrop
Joined: 7/29/2015
Msg: 82
Dealbreakers and +'s in a profile
Posted: 8/15/2015 12:40:27 PM
Didn't realize i came across as lashing out on someone. I'll have to be more careful. I was just trying to comment on some deal breakers or not and that led to the drinking thing which led to a sore spot i guess. Enough said.

The humor thingy was told to me by a women who had been very sad for a long time. No i am not a comedian who does shows. She just got happy again. I took it as a compliment which i shared. BTW when was the last time someone made you truly happy even if for a day?
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 83
Dealbreakers and +'s in a profile
Posted: 8/15/2015 1:15:23 PM
^^^ well given the story you related, YOU wanna waste time. You goggled her ( odd that) then still went and met her.
Don't date anyone who does, problem solved.
Ah yes, the women who "need" their wine. Hmm, I can tell you a few reasons why :/
 SunshineGirl__
Joined: 10/7/2014
Msg: 84
Dealbreakers and +'s in a profile
Posted: 8/15/2015 3:11:43 PM

I don't get the "I want a man who can make me laugh" thing.


Oh you know…a fun guy with a great sense of humor…rather than a dud who just sits there staring into space. Why would a guy think that means she wants a stand up comedian or circus clown? That’s just being obtuse and belligerent and the opposite of a fun guy.

I don’t like wine, either, it makes me sick and gives me a headache. Maybe it seems classier than getting loaded on Schlitz or Old Milwaukee. :/
 VolkanoKing
Joined: 8/1/2014
Msg: 85
Dealbreakers and +'s in a profile
Posted: 8/15/2015 4:47:56 PM
Cliches are the worst. As far as ones I see in men's profiles, many of them seem to be using the exact same template:

"I love to laugh and make others laugh" <---he might actually be a good choice for the women who want a man who makes them laugh. Actually I heard that it is actually a very real advantage for men to be funny. Women, not so much. Women don't have to be funny. They just have to sit there and look nice, and LAUGH at his jokes. LAUGH I TELL YOU!

"I love dressing up for a night on the town as much as staying home and cuddling up on the couch with Netflix" Holy shit, what an original.

"I love a woman in a black dress and high heels." Already choosing my wardrobe. Thanks, I'll stick with my Converse.

"I love sex/cuddling/snuggling/kissing/making out/lots of affection"..any guy who has to mention he likes sex....uh, isn't this a given? And all the touchy feely stuff...eegh..I already feel suffocated and pawed. Back off just a little..save something for dessert!

"I'm a great kisser"...got this in a profile of someone I actually went on a date with way back in the day. He forced a "sensual" kiss on me as we were waiting for the valet, which the evening did not call for, and it was like having a tiny vacuum cleaner sucking on my lip. I'LL be the judge of a "great kisser" (on my next date, I actually FOUND one!)

"I live life to the fullest"....meaning..what? Is there a meter or a system to determine that you couldn't possibly squeeze in one more ounce of living, that you actually have literally tapped out on everything?

Vegans: Great. A self righteous war of words over animal cruelty/soybeans, like a date with a Bible thumper.

I do tend to look for things like "I like a good bottle of wine" because I actually happen to be a non drinker. I dont care if the other person drinks, but if it's going to be a problem because they really like to share the experience of drinking with someone, I can't do it. (the taste of wine, beer etc makes me ill)

I HAVE TO LOVE HIS PET! Anyone who talks about their dog like it's his wife...he can find some other sucker to date!

"Holding hands and walking a the beach/candlelit dinners".....it's hard to imagine, but a few people STILL use this.
 ThePigIsHereForEternity
Joined: 7/19/2015
Msg: 86
Dealbreakers and +'s in a profile
Posted: 8/15/2015 5:01:56 PM
With the exception of the black dress and high heels, I've seen every last one of those on women's profiles.

Yeah, sure, there are a lot of cliche ridden profiles, but that's enough to *not* want to meet someone??
 Hothrod
Joined: 7/16/2015
Msg: 87
Dealbreakers and +'s in a profile
Posted: 8/15/2015 5:16:02 PM

Cliches are the worst. As far as ones I see in men's profiles, many of them seem to be using the exact same template:


That's probably because not many guys can express themselves in an original fashion, IF there is anything in that word today 'original'.... yeah, yeah, I know, as they say - "There is nothing new under the sun" it's just the same rubbish reassembled!
 Whatsamatterbaby
Joined: 5/6/2015
Msg: 88
Dealbreakers and +'s in a profile
Posted: 8/15/2015 5:20:15 PM

Cliches are the worst. As far as ones I see in men's profiles, many of them seem to be using the exact same template:


You forgot "Work hard, play harder". Unless this is supposed to be sexual, I wouldn't meet someone who wrote something like this. Not because there's anything wrong with many people embracing the same philosophies, but because I positively abhor cliches. The only thing I find more annoying than being around people who speak in cliches is being around people who want me to read their cliche-ridden "poetry". Probably the only non-moral issue that really pisses me off. Like, a lot. (There might be other things, but I can't think of them right now, as I seem to have gotten myself a bit worked up.)
 VolkanoKing
Joined: 8/1/2014
Msg: 89
Dealbreakers and +'s in a profile
Posted: 8/15/2015 5:35:16 PM
Yes..."Work hard, play harder" And.. "You have to be able to keep up with me"


Im sure these are all on women's profiles too-but I date men, so, that's my main avenue of concern.

Cliches are dealbreakers because I like original, creative and imaginative thinking. There are some good profiles out there.
 spot4username
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 90
Dealbreakers and +'s in a profile
Posted: 8/15/2015 6:20:24 PM
^^ Don't forget
Looking for my partner in crime
Any version of I don't know what to write or I'm not good at writing about myself
Being laid back
Hating drama
I'm new to this (love this one when it is a person who constantly deletes and makes new profiles)
 VolkanoKing
Joined: 8/1/2014
Msg: 91
Dealbreakers and +'s in a profile
Posted: 8/15/2015 6:35:36 PM
Yeah, the "I'm new to this" makes alarm bells go off with me, sounds like a guy who is NOT new to this trying to sound totally innocent. Also the guys who are always 49, for years....and you read down at the bottom that there is a "disclosure" that he is actually ten years older, and that he simply doesnt like the matches that come up in his age range (meaning, women his own age) and also the guys who say they have no interest in 20 year olds, but then go on to explain "there seems to be alot of 20 year olds messaging me lately, which is not what I want."

I interpret this as a manipulative tactic to show you how much he is desired by women young enough to be his grand daughter, so you better rush and contact him before he's over run by college students.

This was also accompanied on a profile I read by the statement that "I look younger than my age"...that's one used over and over and over. Looks younger than his age, has no interest in the old ladies his own age because they just cant keep up with him, and he's not interested in all in 20 year olds, but so many of them keep contacting him.

What a huge load of horseshit! Heelarious.
 LLove2LaughToo
Joined: 3/5/2011
Msg: 92
Dealbreakers and +'s in a profile
Posted: 8/15/2015 6:37:53 PM

volkanoking :
Cliches are the worst. As far as ones I see in men's profiles, many of them seem to be using the exact same template:

"I love to laugh and make others laugh" <---he might actually be a good choice for the women who want a man who makes them laugh. Actually I heard that it is actually a very real advantage for men to be funny. Women, not so much. Women don't have to be funny. They just have to sit there and look nice, and LAUGH at his jokes. LAUGH I TELL YOU!


When I was deciding what user name to select for my account, I did a search and noticed lots of women, about 90% of them looking for someone to make them laugh.

So "ILove2LaughToo"
 VolkanoKing
Joined: 8/1/2014
Msg: 93
Dealbreakers and +'s in a profile
Posted: 8/15/2015 7:28:59 PM
Because everyone is essentially selling themselves the same way..I'm awesome, super busy, been all over the world, my dog/cat comes first, into hot yoga, tantric massage, sky diving, daredevil life you have to keep up with...I love to go out, I love to stay in, I love to laugh, Im writing a script, have a podcast, can't live without coffee........ need I go on.
 pinedrop
Joined: 7/29/2015
Msg: 94
Dealbreakers and +'s in a profile
Posted: 8/15/2015 9:09:49 PM
i coming down fast but your worlds above me. Tell me tell me the answer. You may be a lover but you ain't no dancer,

I am not really selling much. I hardly read preferences cause it says nothing about the persons ability to develop a relationship. It just says like i like this and i like that and i so on and on. At the end of reading i am like........ So........What did that tell me about you...?We all like a blue sky and a green earth. But how do you feel about men in general and me in particular i guess that all comes much later after one shifts through the BS. Thanks for your reply i find your viewpoint interesting.
 Behind-Blue-Eyes_53
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 95
Dealbreakers and +'s in a profile
Posted: 8/15/2015 10:02:11 PM

You goggled her ( odd that) then still went and met her.


I can't believe anyone, in this day & age, is dumb enough, to give a complete stranger enough info to Google them...
Before they've met IRL......
 PassionateSunnyGal
Joined: 7/23/2015
Msg: 96
Dealbreakers and +'s in a profile
Posted: 8/17/2015 3:35:05 PM
^^ shhh dont ruin his illusions of students!!!

I just got my MBA in December and have had several men think Im after a meal ticket--seriously you think I went back to school just for the fun of it?
 pinedrop
Joined: 7/29/2015
Msg: 97
Dealbreakers and +'s in a profile
Posted: 8/17/2015 6:49:32 PM
You goggled her ( odd that) then still went and met her.

yes i did because i was hoping that she would choose the iced tea. If she had chosen the iced tea then great. She was smart, successful, good looking and i really wanted to hang with her.

BTW : If a women decides to date a man (or the other way around) IMO she would be wise to have a name and a simple google search first. I don't see why not. I do not mean a full credit history or records search but at least a mug shot or basic search on google. If for no reason other than to know a little about who you are about to spend time with. I do not mind if she does a search on me. I have nothing to hide. I have never gone even to a coffee date without conversation beforehand. Never been on a blind date without knowing who i was meeting.
 PassionateSunnyGal
Joined: 7/23/2015
Msg: 98
Dealbreakers and +'s in a profile
Posted: 8/17/2015 8:07:33 PM
^^ In Knoxville, TN there are 7 ---opps now 6 women with my name lol hopefully you googled the right one since most of the time it doesn't show a picture --imagine prejudging someone for a DUI and they might be innocent
 BlackLady1953
Joined: 5/27/2011
Msg: 99
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History
Dealbreakers and +'s in a profile
Posted: 8/17/2015 8:10:16 PM
When I compare your weight with your height....and know that you are overweight, but describe yourself as "average".
 Behind-Blue-Eyes_53
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 100
Dealbreakers and +'s in a profile
Posted: 8/17/2015 8:52:49 PM

^^ In Knoxville, TN there are 7 ---opps now 6 women with my name lol hopefully you googled the right one since most of the time it doesn't show a picture --imagine prejudging someone for a DUI and they might be innocent


Well........ She did show up Driving a Sports Car, with the Top Down...... Probably a Bleached Blond, too.....
So She must be Guilty.......

I still say, no one is knowing more than My 1st name & a unlisted phone number, before I meet them FTF....
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