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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > When I finally realized I'm an A-hole      Home login  
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 sigungq
Joined: 1/4/2013
Msg: 26
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When I finally realized I'm an A-holePage 2 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
OP, I not sure you're an a-hole, but if you'd like success, just turn your story into a C&W song, and it's sure to be a hit.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 27
When I finally realized I'm an A-hole
Posted: 6/23/2015 7:06:05 PM

Watch how the POF Gang attack me for that statement above.... LOL


How would you know about the POF "gang"???? You just joined.


This A-hole is leaving.


Ahhhhh, you're not an a-hole.

People that begin a fight by name calling, pointing fingers at others for "their" problems and then run as soon as reality is pointed out to them are defined as chicken shiats, not a-holes. You have a long way to go before you even get close to being an "a-hole". Anytime you really want hints on being an a-hole, I'm all yours. I've got years of experience.

Your welcome, in advance.

Oh.

My goldfish died today.

That actually sucks.
 Bebedeleau
Joined: 2/25/2013
Msg: 28
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When I finally realized I'm an A-hole
Posted: 6/23/2015 10:21:02 PM
Maybe you claim yourself to be an a**hole because, again, you are taking on yourself the responsibility of the reasons for troubled relationships. There has to be a reason people act the way they do, right? Maybe the people around you are just selfish and uncaring ... or tired of hearing you say they are?

Dunno, but there are two in any relationship and you are one of them. Be responsible for your part and don't internalize the responsibility for theirs, IMO.

 Strings6
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 29
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When I finally realized I'm an A-hole
Posted: 6/24/2015 3:18:55 AM
"Know nothing about you or your past" doesn't matter,only in this age of entitlement would that be offered as an excuse for being an A-hole....life is tough and you don't have the right to make it tough for others ust because it is or was tough for you.

" have never bothered to get to know you" who wants to know an ***hole unless they have self esteem issues and don't feel worthy to know decent people.

"don't want to get to know you" please see above

The bottom line is that its all about you which is the definition of an A-hole
 Hearton64
Joined: 12/18/2012
Msg: 30
When I finally realized I'm an A-hole
Posted: 6/24/2015 4:31:48 AM

How would you know about the POF "gang"???? You just joined.


Yeahmeagain70 is obviously a disgruntled,voted off
only to return all the more pissed off new monikered
ex member.

Dude....a lot of us have worse stories to tell about
what we've had to endure inside and yet we don't sit
around and vomit it all over others.

Get a grip.

Your choices and actions are in part why you have lost
so much in life.

You have new choices to make that will hopefully lead
to more positive outcomes but if you can't take
any personal responsibility for the position you are in
no change will come.

We have all been the victim of our own stupidity
or the stupidity of others at one point or another in our lives.

But in the end we can choose to wallow in self pity
or do the work it takes to change!!!
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 31
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When I finally realized I'm an A-hole
Posted: 6/24/2015 4:50:50 AM
Hmmm. I see a two page diatribe about being an a-hole, that includes zero information as to what an a-hole is, as far as the person declaring themselves to be one is concerned. I read the whole thing, expecting to find the definition, or to find some direct statement that "I did THIS, which proved that the world has turned me into a Bad Person," but that other shoe never hit the floor.

The only other minor thing I'll mention, is an old, potentially illuminating joke a friend told me long ago:

A new person at work was told by their mentor, that they were a $hythead. Taken aback by such a statement coming from someone they thought was a friend, they asked where that nastiness came from. The mentor replied "Don't feel bad. You're a $hythead. I'm a $shythead too. Most people are $hytheads.

The ones who insist they aren't... THOSE, are the A$$H0les."
 motowncowgirl
Joined: 3/24/2015
Msg: 32
When I finally realized I'm an A-hole
Posted: 6/24/2015 4:59:22 AM
op, I understand that you're miserable and hope other people will feel that way too, because there is nothing petty, vindictive, self-serving misery loves more than dragging company down to wallow at its own level. meanwhile, we all experience our share of misery in this world but most people choose to find relief instead of just spewing out adolescent emo hate at anonymous people like black is going out of style. are you going to shoot up an Arby's?

as for everyone here being a bigger a-hole than you, ooh you got us there. cheer up though, you're perfectly free to go hang out your b1tching laundry in front of a more appreciative audience. but you might have to think seriously about why 'no one wants anything to do with you' (your words)..... I mean besides the regular a-holes here who aren't servicing your psychic needs properly, because who cares what we a-holes think, and how could a-holes be qualified to help anyway. amirite?

you are throwing down the final gauntlet. us a-holes should step up to the plate now and finally prove we aren't a-holes.... or..... or... we're a-holes! gotcha. what about everyone else who avoids you for some mysterious reason? looks like you're the only person on the planet who isn't an a-hole, but you were just using a bit of irony as a literary device. thanks, that was fun and very instructive.


This A-hole is leaving

promises, promises! maybe you should change your name to 'still_here' and keep posting, you angry, angry little troll.

have a nice day.
 You_Never_Knew_Me
Joined: 3/24/2015
Msg: 33
When I finally realized I'm an A-hole
Posted: 6/24/2015 5:53:11 AM
^^^^^^
The COW has spoken.

All hail the Caustic Old Woman.
 motowncowgirl
Joined: 3/24/2015
Msg: 34
When I finally realized I'm an A-hole
Posted: 6/24/2015 5:59:44 AM
^^^ you have a nice trolly day too now.

try to think of a reason why you perceive my post as 'caustic' but an opening troll post that reeks with that much blind hate and hostility is ripe for pity and commiseration. off you go now, THINK.
 CrookCatcher
Joined: 7/14/2014
Msg: 35
When I finally realized I'm an A-hole
Posted: 6/24/2015 6:02:50 AM
Even though I posted a somewhat sarcastic response to the op I've noticed he hasn't responded to anyone.

Personally I hope he was just trolling for sympathy and hasn't done something drastic, for his sake and his family's. :/
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 36
When I finally realized I'm an A-hole
Posted: 6/24/2015 8:21:13 AM

Personally I hope he was just trolling for sympathy and hasn't done something drastic, for his sake and his family's. :/


And in the mist of a-holes, brutally blunt posters of all walks of life, political inclinations and social interest compassion and care come to the surface.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 37
When I finally realized I'm an A-hole
Posted: 6/24/2015 8:45:17 AM
ironically, there was a definition of an a-hole in there. and walt, sorry to hear your fish died. I could be an a-hole and make a joke about it, but that would contribute to a post about an a-hole in the wrong way.

a-holes tend to attract their own kind, and others tend to get away. unless forced to work with them, like that book about the no a-hole rule.

I get the point made below. My experience in life is that people can't be saved from themselves. so maybe that makes me a bunghole, I always hope they only take out themselves. some people have experienced what the OP described and rose above it, others sank from the weight of it. sometimes, "nature" helps overcome the lack of "nuture".

 CrookCatcher
Joined: 7/14/2014
Msg: 38
When I finally realized I'm an A-hole
Posted: 6/24/2015 8:58:48 AM

compassion and care come to the surface.


IG, the true compassion and care came in post 13 and 14 and a few others. Mine unfortunately in this case has come from regret.

After actually reading the op's post and similarities to dozens of suicide notes over the years, I'm pretty sure why there's been no response. I truly hope I'm way off base.....perhaps he will post again.
 Mr_J_Cash
Joined: 6/19/2015
Msg: 39
When I finally realized I'm an A-hole
Posted: 6/24/2015 9:37:47 AM

I'm pretty sure you needed to get this off your chest.


He has an A-hole on his chest??? Now that I would have to see if I could.


Sorry, I couldn't help it.

OP, if this is a serious post then I agree with others here and hope you get the help you need. If as I suspect and it is not then I'm sure we'll see you again.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 40
When I finally realized I'm an A-hole
Posted: 6/24/2015 11:50:57 AM

After actually reading the op's post and similarities to dozens of suicide notes over the years, I'm pretty sure why there's been no response. I truly hope I'm way off base.....perhaps he will post again.


You're way off base. He's still busy being his usual self.
 Hearton64
Joined: 12/18/2012
Msg: 41
When I finally realized I'm an A-hole
Posted: 6/24/2015 1:11:21 PM
I reached out via pm and asked him who he was
here before and if that was a suicide note.

No response.

Not much you can do for someone as angry at
the world as him.

But I believe he was recently voted off.
 motowncowgirl
Joined: 3/24/2015
Msg: 42
When I finally realized I'm an A-hole
Posted: 6/24/2015 1:26:21 PM

perhaps he will post again.

he did. wanna know what he said??? it wasn't purty!

I noticed that for someone who claimed to be that hard-up for a little positive attention, he *completely* ignored every bit of it he got. why do you think that is???? oh I don't know! I don't know! so sad, so sad. there he goes, sliding down the razor blade of life. buh bye.
 deetristate
Joined: 12/4/2014
Msg: 43
When I finally realized I'm an A-hole
Posted: 6/24/2015 1:34:19 PM
I wonder were they,the responders, always like this or is it old age? Or is it simply Western culture? North American culture? Seinfeld culture?
 CrookCatcher
Joined: 7/14/2014
Msg: 44
When I finally realized I'm an A-hole
Posted: 6/24/2015 1:45:47 PM

he did. wanna know what he said??? it wasn't purty!


Actually, I just scraped the egg off. He was deleted a few ago for his post in off topic. I reported him also.

Apologies for thinking the way I did....I can't imagine what the hell I was thinking!?

Apparently all my pickers are broke. :(
 PenelopeLeChat
Joined: 7/29/2014
Msg: 45
When I finally realized I'm an A-hole
Posted: 6/24/2015 1:46:22 PM
So what is worse, being an open azzhole or closet azzhole?

Thing is, no matter how many times you wash an azzhole, it will still smell like an azzhole. Good luck getting the stink off.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 46
When I finally realized I'm an A-hole
Posted: 6/24/2015 1:51:41 PM

But I believe he was recently voted off.


ya...likely voted off due to his most recent rant in the Off Topic section, which only served to prove that he's right about one single thing...he IS an A-hole. Which leads me to stick to my belief that when people have the ability to know they have certain faults, they also have the ability to change those faults even if it means seeking help for it. In the OP's case, he realizes his fault is that of a deliberate A-hole and certainly doesn't lack perseverance proving it time and again. He loves the fact that he gets negative attention because it's better than no attention at all, which is likely the case away from his keyboard.
 Hearton64
Joined: 12/18/2012
Msg: 47
When I finally realized I'm an A-hole
Posted: 6/24/2015 2:24:58 PM

The usual bitter angry know-it-all peanut gallery in these forums are now salivating at the opportunity to lash out at yet another stranger hanging his laundry out. They, IMHO, are bigger a-holes, but that topic has been covered in a hundred other threads.Just watch and see what happens with the replies from the usual clique.Even I am looking forward to the bile.

This is where the usual POF peanut gallery chimes in to tell a complete stranger to suck it up, grow balls, change, get help, who cares, yadda yadda yadda....these strangers, lifetime residents of POF forums because honestly, if they were less of an A-hole than I was, would have been taken by someone else on here....but they are even less desirable than I am, an opinion on everything for, how many years now you guys been on here, and how many thousands of angry replies? I even wonder if your angry outbursts at someone seeking a shoulder or an ear has contributed to suicides....how many posts did I read here where someone seeks a kind ear, only to be beaten and slammed, then you never hear from them again...

Watch how the POF Gang attack me for that statement above....


Obviously this was his way of trying to get even
for his perceived slights here before he got voted off
Not a suicide note.

Either way he's a coward for hitting and running.

Anyone have any guesses as to who this is?

And who is this pof clique/hang he mentions?

Did I miss the memo? Can I join?
 Strings6
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 48
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When I finally realized I'm an A-hole
Posted: 6/24/2015 2:40:09 PM
One thing is for sure A-holes are good at creating drama and being the topic of conversation......this guy is probably watching this and laughing his A-hole off
 Bebedeleau
Joined: 2/25/2013
Msg: 49
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When I finally realized I'm an A-hole
Posted: 6/25/2015 12:46:37 AM
Or he's just expecting a steady stream of hate to reinforce his feelings or worthlessness. Some of these replies just reek of the things a really ****ed up dysfunctional parent would say. Pure evil, I swear. How can such nastiness feel good even if you "think" the person is expecting or even wanting it. I's kinda like telling someone they asked for or deserved verbal abuse.

heart on .. seriously, if life ever started beating me down I'd want you standing a few feet behind me. Compassionate enough yet strong enough yet smart enough. You really have it all.
 Peas_
Joined: 5/2/2015
Msg: 50
When I finally realized I'm an A-hole
Posted: 6/25/2015 11:31:04 AM

Maybe you claim yourself to be an a**hole because, again, you are taking on yourself the responsibility of the reasons for troubled relationships. There has to be a reason people act the way they do, right? Maybe the people around you are just selfish and uncaring ... or tired of hearing you say they are?

Dunno, but there are two in any relationship and you are one of them. Be responsible for your part and don't internalize the responsibility for theirs, IMO

This!^^

Take note of the people you are surrounded by in your life.


.....and what's wrong with being a hermit? lol. Self reflection can be a good thing, or drive you insane.

sorry this happened to you.
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