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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.      Home login  
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 CharminC
Joined: 2/19/2011
Msg: 301
Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.Page 13 of 18    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18)

Eventually you have to get shit or get off the damn pot. Complaining multiple times, doing a "woe is me" routine, self-hating while having a "superior than thou" attitude isn't going to get him anywhere. Take away the stats and his argument is no different than the pity parties we read in here all the time.

Hawking is damn near 40 years old and when his attitude is this.



:)
 Whatsamatterbaby
Joined: 5/6/2015
Msg: 302
Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 8/10/2015 2:16:45 PM

I think most of the women in this thread will agree...


What a bizarre statement. Clearly he's lost it.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 303
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Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 8/10/2015 3:56:08 PM


One of the few pleasures I get in this miserable godforsaken life is debating people to death on message boards.
Norwegian: I don’t really feel like continuing down that route. This thread has taken a depressing turn...

Wow, so even debating people to death isn't even fun anymore for ya (at least on this thread)! Not good! :) I guess the topic should probably change to massage parlors. Honestly, I had a single friend who was legally banned from going to any (serving) restaurants and bars for a zillion months, and felt banned from female opportunities as a result. After it sunk in that he could not ever "go out on the town" to meet a gal, he gave in -- and friendly masseuses gave him a helping hand. :)

Then he's content at being alone.

Yes, and no. I think he's "settled", which, I agree with him is better than settling for someone he finds unattractive/unmatching. But he's not single-with-happiness with an attitude of "Naw, it's just fine being single, I work a lot, love it, have great friends... It's actually quite fine being asexual physically & emotionally when it comes to others in society." I think it's more of a pick-your-poison sorta thing, and he's Convinced there isn't anything he can do about it (notably online).

Take away the stats and his argument is no different than the pity parties we read in here all the time.

I agree. His stats and argument Legitimately shoot down over-optimism that some may give out. But he's taking low % chances (low batting average) and equating it to batting .001, which is untrue as far as possibilities. True if that's how he sees it. My argument is that you can bat .200. Bad? Yes. Just get more at-bats. A lot of guys when out and about don't step up to the plate enough anyway. But you have to able to take shot-downs well and/or to change up your methods in how ya roll.

If Hawking really wanted to win a 'debate' -- a new profile set up with a few pics weeded, a few thought-out primary pics added, him rotating them, and him tweaking some other things, with another plan of attack set up in a "Sure, I'll play this little hypothetical game of yours". Of course, to nix bias (unless one would give him $1,000 if succeeding), someone else would have to run it and give him the login/pass to view it from the outside looking in (and marking favorites for the simulator guy to target). THAT would be the true test of his POV, on yay or nay.
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 304
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Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 8/10/2015 4:34:22 PM

I had a single friend who was legally banned from going to any (serving) restaurants and bars for a zillion months,


Ok, I was going to let this one slide, but I can't. Explain in NG style!
 ThePigIsHereForEternity
Joined: 7/19/2015
Msg: 305
Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 8/10/2015 11:31:39 PM

I agree. His stats and argument Legitimately shoot down over-optimism that some may give out.


I don't consider anything I've said to be overly optimistic. In fact, the "you can do anything you set your mind to" types are really f*cking annoying, and don't have a firm grasp on reality. Even more annoying is, this crap usually comes from people who haven't reached most of their life goals.

I simply don't believe Hawking is as "doomed" as he thinks he is, and could very well see this to be true if and when he decides to make the changes. As I said before, I believe this site (the dating side, not the forums) has completely tarnished his outlook.

As for stats, numbers, studies, analyzing, figures, percentages, blah blah blah....f*ck all of that shit. If I had ever let any of that crap influence my decisions, I probably would have lived a life of utter nothingness, especially in my dating life.
 HawkingJr
Joined: 4/16/2007
Msg: 306
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Posted: 8/11/2015 6:17:41 AM
“Because if a woman doesn't fit your image then she must be a overweight, drugged out, trailer trash, welfare queen who has multiple kids with different men pulling tricks on pornhub.”

No, what I was saying was: those are actually the kind of women that send me messages on this site (before the past 2 years when I stopped receiving messages altogether). That’s NOT theoretical. Now I wouldn’t say there have been a lot of the “whole package” – I might get a 300 pound woman with no kids and some education, I might get a super-skinny crack-ish-looking woman with 4 kids and no education and so forth. Again, we are not talking about some sort of “Seinfeld” nonsense: oh my God, this otherwise perfect woman’s right index finger is longer than her left index finger! MUST REJECT!

The point is, women haven’t been contacting me who are ACTUALLY LIKE ME – well-educated, career-oriented, in good shape, childless, close to my age, etc. And, yes, this IS a frequent complaint from women in these forums, that most of the men who contact them are nothing like them, which is why they reject them. The women who men complain aren’t compromising or settling enough. The main difference between me and those women is that they get hundreds or thousands of guys contacting them that are nothing like them, whereas (prior to 2 years ago) I got about 1 woman every 3 months contacting me that was nothing like me. Arguably same result, less flattering route.

“You either compromise or you don't but the complaining at this point is whining. If you're not willing to adapt and change anything then you are screwed and you'll continually grow to become more resentful of women and just life period.”

“Complaining” (if it is that) only becomes “whining” when you don’t agree with it. I mean, you’re complaining about me, constantly – to me, that’s whining. To those who agree with you, it’s music to their ears. I actually don’t disagree with your second sentence. But there are consequences to “adapting,” as you will see in the next response. Having actual experience with previous “adaptations” that you are recommending, I now choose not to adapt for humanitarian reasons. *Again, why do you people want me to torture innocent women instead of myself?*

“What a bizarre statement. Clearly he's lost it.”

Okay, I will go date a woman I find completely unattractive. Then I will send her to you to cry on after I break her heart.

“Most likely he doesn't engage in debates in real life because people shut him before he starts”

Yeah, this is not true – actually, I shut them up before they start. Ask the Tampa crew. I don’t know how many times I have to tell you guys: NOTHING HERE IS REAL UNTIL YOU MEET.

“Like debates Hawk? Go to Offtopics”

Which is exactly where I was until I got pulled into this thread. But that said, seems unlikely that you’ve been here at least 4 years and have never noticed the hundreds of debates outside of the offtopic forum. Hell, you’ve been in dozens yourself! Good God, you’re in at least 3 or 4 RIGHT NOW! Melt down and baseless encouragement, anyone?

Joe: Actually, Joe, I really don’t want to be anyone’s friend on these boards – I didn’t come here to flirt or pat anyone on the butt or to clown around. But I’m fine with meeting people from the boards, just out of curiosity or to give me something to do. I’ll even meet Charmin or Blackwood or anyone else that hates my guts. And we’ll probably get along perfectly fine because NOTHING HERE IS REAL UNTIL YOU MEET. My message board character behaves very little like I do in real life. As Pig keeps saying but nobody believes.

“Wow, so even debating people to death isn't even fun anymore for ya”

So long as I can step outside myself and observe the whole matter from a completely detached point-of-view, it’s fun. Anytime I accidentally let it become personal or it becomes more about my future than my past or present, it starts getting depressing...
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 307
Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 8/11/2015 7:15:50 AM
well, from what I've read, I guess I have to agree with hawk's point about getting picked on. He seems to get the focus here and now, that I got as a kid. Then everyone grew up and caught up to me, and I don't get it as much. BUT, the point is, back then my solution was to...get away, and go where I was accepted. Hawk says he did that before, and the lure I guess was too much and so, like Al Pacino, he thought he was free but got pulled back in.

Like Hawk, I too feel like "the only way i'm gonna be eatin' pvssy again is if I go to Chinese buffet", as someone once sardonically put it. ironically, the more one focuses on what one doesn't get, the more desperate they come off as, which then makes them less attractive, which then guarantees they won't be getting attention, which then....its the perpetual motion machine. Diversion into other passions sounds like such a cop-out response to the problem of not being everyone's cup of tea, yet....when you can pull it off, it works. then again, I live in the snow belt--half the year, i'm not seeing women in bikinis or couples out canoodling b/c there's 4 feet of snow on the sidewalks and black ice on the roads.

banging your head against the wall only feels good if you think someone's actually listening. once you start spouting the superlatives, you sound emotional, and that loses the game.
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 308
Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 8/11/2015 7:39:13 AM
I'm done with Halkings, so I am moving on to this:


I don't consider anything I've said to be overly optimistic. In fact, the "you can do anything you set your mind to" types are really f*cking annoying, and don't have a firm grasp on reality. Even more annoying is, this crap usually comes from people who haven't reached most of their life goals.


I guess I'm fvcking annoying and don't have a firm grasp on reality. I'm your optimistic a ss whole, thank you, Pig.

And you're right I have not reached the more important life goals that I wanted to achieve, since I have not published my novels nor have won a National Book Award or a Pulitzer. So I'm a total fvcking failure.

Does being optimistic really works or is it just one more piece of bu ll sh it fabricated by those Self Help gurus, just to make you buy more books? One of the companies that I work for finances Tonny Robins events and seminars. So we have seen through what is b u ll in his material, what is nothing but a re-hash of other speakers, and what actually works. His stuff works and the people that drink his K0ol-Aid make it work because part of all those programs are about believing in your own process, pursuing that process, and believing in yourself. I've seen it work not so much because of some miracle bu ll sh it, but because you learn about unflinching perseverance and a disciplined focus to a particular goal. If you want something really, really, really bad, you make it happen, if you don't you make excuses.

And it all starts in the mind, with an idea, a desire, and a willingness to make it a reality.

I'm your optimistic pain in the fvcking a ss because I also have seen it work with me. From being a devastated idiot after my divorce, where I could not find a date or if I went to a bar, I was the idiot at the corner holding my drink, scared sh it less to approach women. Or even thinking of my age, and all the stupid statistics that stacked against me. And little by little chip away from that by having a ton of failure after failure, rejection after rejection, until gradually I could get a date a month, a date a week, or choose between three attractive women to go out any given weekend. To being in relationships with intense women, some ending in total failure, devastating pain, therapy, to bouncing back and finding the awesome woman that is my partner now.

I also learned that life is not fair. Like does not give a shit about how much you whine. Or how shy you are. Or how unlucky or how your own personal storm works. Life does not give a fvck. What life does is that it unfairly favors the bold, the brash, the ones willing to take chances, the ones that make their rules and relentlessly pursue, not women, but their goals, their dreams. You also learn that the road to success is not paved with success, but actually with failure. So you learn not to be a victim of failure and then become "frustrated" or living through "pain avoidance," but learn from your failures and do something difference. So each lesson takes you to small successes and they add up to other successes and you climb whatever mountain you want to climb.

I like being an optimist because it has given me an unfair advantage. I got a good paying job where by the way on Mondays I have a national video conference with all our sales people and the CEO and I talk to them about guess what, confidence, attitude, getting outside of your comfort zone and all this crap. In my personal life I am with the most awesome partner I've ever been with. People say of my partner that she looks like "a supermodel on her day off." But even better, she is smart, compassionate, flawed and easy-going.

I was lucky enough to get my novel at Simon & Schuster, even though it sat there for 3 years until they declined it. This was before 9/11 and a political novel like that one may have a market today. In the mean time, I sold about 10 short stories to literary publications and some won some awards. One of the guys in my critique group was nominated for a Pulitzer, and another one had his book launch this past weekend, and I am talking to some agent that may understand what my work is all about. So in the end, all I have to do is count my blessings. Rather than b i tch about how unfair life is, I just need to keep trying, keep plugging away and things will happen.

So, have I achieved everything I want to achieve? Hell no. Will I? Like the saying goes, you will lose 100 percent of the chances that you never take. So like the say in the theater "Go break a leg."


As for stats, numbers, studies, analyzing, figures, percentages, blah blah blah....f*ck all of that shit. If I had ever let any of that crap influence my decisions, I probably would have lived a life of utter nothingness, especially in my dating life.


I will agree with this statement Pig. And it's well documented that many entrepreneur have expressed after they became rich, after their IPO's and all that, that if they had known, or had the facts and figures about what they were about to do, they would have not been successful, they would have not persevered, but as many of them said "they were blessed with ignorance."

Off my soap box.
 ThePigIsHereForEternity
Joined: 7/19/2015
Msg: 309
Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 8/11/2015 8:15:17 AM

I have no qualms with optimism with things that are actually attainable. Hell, I have no problems with optimism with things that seem like a long shot. However, the fact of the matter is, many people have limitations in certain aspects that no amount of pep talks and encouragement can change.

Imagine if you will, a younger Hawking expressing his desire to be an offensive lineman in the NFL. Anyone who would have told him he could "do anything he set his mind to" would have been a complete idiot in this scenario.
 HawkingJr
Joined: 4/16/2007
Msg: 310
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Posted: 8/11/2015 8:23:37 AM
"BUT, the point is, back then my solution was to...get away, and go where I was accepted. Hawk says he did that before, and the lure I guess was too much and so, like Al Pacino, he thought he was free but got pulled back in."

It wasn't really the "lure" of it. There was an actual conversation going on about me in this thread (page 6 backwards), which someone sent me an email about because I wasn't paying attention to anything outside of OffTopic and Help. Admittedly, I could have ignored it, like I have a few other times when people tried to draw me into a thread, but this particular case was getting a little absurd (somehow, I had managed to hijack a thread I wasn't even contributing to!), so against my better judgment, I jumped in to defend myself. It was really the Blackwood-KJ exchange I decided I couldn't let stand because the rest wasn't worth getting involved in, considering I've been over this subject back-and-forth a million times in 6 years in the forums and throughout many years in many other forums. But as they were discussing an actual recent real life meeting I participated in but had not commented about, I felt like that was something that needed clarifying. Which, as you followers of mine may recall, is also the reason I participated in the one other non-Off Topic thread I've been involved with (that one related to the Belle portion of the same meeting).

In fact, it was arguably a bad decision to meet these people, because otherwise I would still be only in OffTopic, fighting the actual noble cause of racism instead of the much ridiculed cause of "heightism," and therefore less stressed and depressed. But, whatever, if anyone else wants to meet -- you know where to find me. Let's get some more post-meeting drama going.

"Imagine if you will, a younger Hawking expressing his desire to be an offensive lineman in the NFL. Anyone who would have told him he could 'do anything he set his mind to' would have been a complete idiot in this scenario."

That is an excellent analogy. I never imagined being an offensive lineman but I did have this insane theory when I was playing cornerback in small town high school football that I could overcome my size issue to be a pro defensive back. Then my 6 foot tall cousin caught a touchdown over my head in our rivalry game and that was about the end of that unattainable dream.
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 311
Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 8/11/2015 8:27:43 AM

Imagine if you will, a younger Hawking expressing his desire to be an offensive lineman in the NFL. Anyone who would have told him he could "do anything he set his mind to" would have been a complete idiot in this scenario.


"A goal is not always meant to be reached, it often serves simply as something to aim at."
"If you always put limit on everything you do, physical or anything else. It will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them."
"If you spend too much time thinking about a thing, you'll never get it done."

Bruce Lee
 dragonbytes
Joined: 12/25/2014
Msg: 312
Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 8/11/2015 8:55:18 AM

The point is, women haven’t been contacting me who are ACTUALLY LIKE ME – well-educated, career-oriented, in good shape, childless, close to my age, etc.


Most of us wouldn't expect those women to contact us first, we have to do the contacting first. I contracted my wife inThailand first, the women that contacted me were more likely overly sexual in their profile. Not that I mind that, but likely they were more interested in financial support, and being a little too sleazy is a turn off for me.

So you need to make first contact and deal with the high number of rejections.

I don't believe in compromising on your preferences, though I have seen a fair number of people searching for preferences that just won't work out. A friend of mine did this for years, he is tall, thin with a good job, so he got dates with women but he kept looking for a flashy sort of dresser that uses makeup. He himself is very quiet, likes to hike alone and hates things like dancing. So these dates never went beyond one or two meets. Once he met his future wife on eH, they clicked right away. However, she dresses very plainly and seldom uses makeup, not his preference at all when he did the searching. But they are a better match.

If you are not going to make the first contact, or go with a service like eh that only does computer matching and you can't select at random, then IMO online dating will be hopeless for you.
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 313
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Posted: 8/11/2015 8:57:30 AM
This nightmare can end now! Just make a new profile and they will NOT bother you any more. The Tony Robbin club will be satisfied!

Plus look at the bright side, it will make winning your debates easier! At least you will have that satisfaction.




Hawk says he did that before, and the lure I guess was too much and so, like Al Pacino, he thought he was free but got pulled back in.


Somehow, "say hello to my little friend" comes to mind in this thread. Not sure why!


Admittedly, I could have ignored it, like I have a few other times when people tried to draw me into a thread, but this particular case was getting a little absurd (somehow, I had managed to hijack a thread I wasn't even contributing to!),


So what? It is great to have you back! Type away!
 dragonbytes
Joined: 12/25/2014
Msg: 314
Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 8/11/2015 9:33:16 AM

I like being an optimist because it has given me an unfair advantage.


I take a more nuanced point of view about optimism.

"If you always put limit on everything you do, physical or anything else. It will spread into your work and into your life.

Many daredevils that became permanently disabled also believed that, but you will never hear from them since they never became famous. There are likely many overly optimistic failures you will never hear about. A lot of failed actors would have been happier if they had become engineers or factory managers.

What about those optimistic people that say they don't need health insurance, my odds of getting sick are slim?.

What about those optimistic people that play the lottery?

So if you are a soldier in battle, a working policeman, a fire fighter or day trader, you won't survive very long by being too optimistic. But it's equally bad to be too negative in those professions, that causes other problems.

So while I like the idea of being optimistic, you need to consider the downside to being falsely optimistic.
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 315
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Posted: 8/11/2015 9:50:00 AM
^^^Exactly...skill set's like paranoia (yes it can be a skill), fear control, hyper-vigilance becomes important. I think just not caring about the specific outcome but at the same time STAYING in the game is key...thus making ones own luck.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 316
never go...where your mind hasn't already gone ahead to recon
Posted: 8/11/2015 10:17:52 AM
"somehow, "say hello to my little friend" came to mind"

>>>uh...feelin' the effects of cold weather, my friend? lol, jk. but I do like the reference, Hawking did get feisty. And I can't blame him...if people I met were talking about me behind my back in real life, i'd have a word to describe that, starting with the letter "R".

(I confess, I've talked smack about NDTfan and RT when they weren't around to defend themselves, so I;m just as rude)

I also have to say, Hawk-ster talks about a topic that near'n'dear to most. no one likes to think attraction is something outside their control. after all, if we can't procreate in a way that benefits the species, what is our purpose?

as for long shots paying off and the SAS motto that he who dares, wins, I have to say as a child, I never understood the lament, "better to be lucky than good." As an adult, I;ve witnessed enough to understand what it means. sometimes, its good to take the shot. other times, its good to save your powder. in the end, perhaps, the best thing is to focus on the journey, rather than the goal.

you may not make the goal. but hopefully, the journey will be more rewarding than sitting on your ass. if not, then sit on the porch with some strawberry lemonade and enjoy your dry powder.
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 317
never go...where your mind hasn't already gone ahead to recon
Posted: 8/11/2015 10:41:30 AM

sometimes, its good to take the shot. other times, its good to save your powder. in the end, perhaps, the best thing is to focus on the journey, rather than the goal.


Dude, this is beautiful. Too much optimism is delusional. Too much bravado is going to get you killed. Steve Jobs was so confidence on himself, on doing things in a different way that he believed that he could treat his cancer. At that point it was something like a stage 2 or 3 and had not metastasize. Some surgery, some chemo and he would be alive today. But he when into this organic crap and by the time he went back to his doctors he was by this point in an advanced stage 4. So not even chemo would save him.
 ThePigIsHereForEternity
Joined: 7/19/2015
Msg: 318
never go...where your mind hasn't already gone ahead to recon
Posted: 8/11/2015 12:10:18 PM

Too much optimism is delusional.


That has been my point all along. Anyone whose life advice for *everyone* is "you can do anything you set your mind to" is indeed delusional. Imagination might be limitless, but ability isn't.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 319
never go...where your mind hasn't already gone ahead to recon
Posted: 8/11/2015 12:28:18 PM
I have to say, Steve Jobs is an interesting example, b/c if he had handled cancer successfully...he just would have died from something else. Like I explained to my mother's hospitalist, death isn't a failure, its how we die that might be construed a failure. But for certain, its how we live, that can be judged a success or a failure. And to go back to how SJ died, it could either be seen as a gamble taken that didn't pay off, or it can be seen as an uneducated reaction to his diagnosis of cancer.

different views on the same act.

me, I like to plan for failure but hope for success. or more succinctly, plan for what the next step is if I fail, but try to have a positive attitude that I might indeed succeed. but I also like to keep my feet on the ground. know what's possible for me, what's not. if I plan to talk to a beautiful woman with a goal in mind, i'm likely going to fail to get that goal, and it makes the whole talking to her, suck. but if I talk to her for the sake of having a good conversation with another human being, then i'm focused on the journey, rather than the goal of having a good conversation lead to me getting laid.

the problem, of course, is there's a few beautiful women out there i'd like to lay but can't hold a good conversation if their life depended upon it :)
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 320
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Posted: 8/11/2015 12:31:54 PM

Ok, I was going to let this one slide, but I can't. Explain in NG style!

He had a couple DUIs, and I guess the law-rules can vary from one person to the next depending on the intensity. In a nutshell, he couldn't go to any place that served alcohol. Any date-oriented restaurant, or any bar. If he was seen, he was in big trouble (like a child molester seen hanging out on a playground). He tried the "let's go to Arbys and come back to my place," but that never worked. It made me wonder about when gals complain about guys just wanting to go to Dennys or a coffee shop some evening, then go right to their place. They can't go out on a real evening date if they are in what his position was. And he had a good point that within the first few dates you gotta do that to get the ball rolling with any gal. Trying to cut to the chase never really worked out for him, so he just punted the ball and went to a massage parlor. Claims he saved money, pound for pound lol.

I don't consider anything I've said to be overly optimistic.

I wasn't coming after you or anyone specific. It's about whenever this topic comes up about Hawking over the years. Point is, I'm being level with him that he makes understandable & good arguments to counter things that look too optimistic -- whether they be ridiculous ("Height doesn't matter for a lot of girls!") or what many people may believe but not think about much, in the spirit of cheer-em-up (that one can see about any topic when one's down and out).

I simply don't believe Hawking is as "doomed" as he thinks he is, and could very well see this to be true if and when he decides to make the changes.

I agree -- a lot of his doom, when it comes to the extreme he thinks it is, is due to he himself. Him being notably short and mixed-race (in a big city) is not going to deter him from decent options... they're going to be much fewer per capita. That's what one has to stomach without letting their ego take a hit. He's been down this debate road before. His mind is set, unfortunately. Looking at the date of his profile, we know he's not into Change nor set on how/where to change in terms of mixing things up. He gave up, and has a set belief it won't really do much anyway. Also, he probably doesn't want to go thru all that changing things up, only to find out there's not much to shake a stick at. I think there's fear of in-the-end, not much changes, and would be too big of a blow to him. Otherwise, Why Not? Deleting current and making a new one isn't going to throw out any current chats with hot babes, right?

I believe this site (the dating side, not the forums) has completely tarnished his outlook.

I've always thought that if a guy is notably short (or a few other key things), and he is going to want a good quality gal, going to a free-for-all site like POF is going to be worse than IRL -- so he better be ready to take a punch after punch after punch to what is going to really hurt the Average Joe's ego. And step up more to optimize his profile marketability. Can't just sit there with a fishing line out there. Also -- Hawk points out that over the past couple years his small amount of options dropped. I think that's the 35 age marker in the system hitting up his marketability. Not that he suddenly turned ugly or womens' tastes in Tampa changed. As a side note, I have heard that down in FL, short guys have it not as bad as other places in the country.

As for stats, numbers, studies, analyzing, figures, percentages, blah blah blah....f*ck all of that shit. If I had ever let any of that crap influence my decisions, I probably would have lived a life of utter nothingness, especially in my dating life.

It's a double-edged sword. One side, like being online in and of itself where one's going to have a lower average than IRL, it can hurt one's ego/positive-mentality if they are really bad (can't ignore). On the good side, one can see where they're wasting their time ("Girls who are Mormon don't put out, dude!"), and know where the better market is ("Girls who want 'no commitment' put out like semi-automatics! Good to know, and knowing is half the battle! GI Joe!").

Hawk needs to Want to change things up, and not look at anything like a debate, but a fun experiment and not base how the whole world operates based on his past experiences and trends he sees. If he doesn't want to say fvck it, I'm redecorating this place and going to get a kick out of doing/seeing things differently -- it's a lost cause, unfortunately.
 dragonbytes
Joined: 12/25/2014
Msg: 321
Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 8/11/2015 12:55:33 PM
fyi
Steve Jobs was so confidence on himself, on doing things in a different way that he believed that he could treat his cancer. At that point it was something like a stage 2 or 3 and had not metastasize. Some surgery, some chemo and he would be alive today. But he when into this organic crap and by the time he went back to his doctors he was by this point in an advanced stage 4. So not even chemo would save him.


It appears more like Steve Jobs had already exhausted all the remedies medical science had to offer (extensive surgery, liver transplant and drugs) , while he fought the cancer for 20 years, in the end it was the end it was the immune suppressing drugs that helped to kill him.

The alternative treatments were no doubt an attempt to boost his weak immune system.

===============================================================
Aug. 25, 2011 -- Steve Jobs gave no specific explanation for his sudden resignation as Apple CEO. But one possible health reason is that his pancreatic cancer may have returned.

If Jobs had suffered the most common form of pancreatic cancer, adenocarcinoma, the chances are he would have died soon after his 2003 diagnosis. But as Jobs later revealed, he had an unusual form of pancreatic cancer known as a neuroendocrine tumor or islet cell carcinoma.

In 2004, nine months after his diagnosis, Jobs underwent surgery to remove the tumor. In 2009 he underwent a liver transplant, a procedure appropriate for only a small number of patients with this uncommon form of pancreatic cancer.

What is known about this kind of cancer? Can it be cured? What if it comes back? WebMD answers these and other questions.

Pancreatic Cancer Overview

What Is a Neuroendocrine Tumor/Islet Cell Carcinoma?

When doctors discover that a patient has pancreatic cancer, the outlook usually is grim. But once in a while -- about 200 to 1,000 times a year in the U.S. -- it turns out to be an islet cell carcinoma.

Islet cells are the hormone-producing cells of the pancreas. It's no walk in the park to be diagnosed with cancer of these cells. But these cancers include "a highly treatable and often curable collection of tumors," according to the National Cancer Institute.

The course of disease depends on which of these cells become cancerous. Sometimes, as the tumor cells grow in number, they emit various hormones. This can have weird results, such as the inability to digest fats or sudden growth of the hands or feet. These hormone-emitting tumors often are benign.

Sometimes islet cell tumors don't make hormones. This avoids those bizarre effects. But 90% of these tumors are malignant, meaning that they eventually are fatal if left untreated.

Can Neuroendocrine Tumors/Islet Cell Carcinomas Be Cured?

The first choice of treatment for islet cell carcinoma is surgery, says David Levi, MD, professor of clinical surgery at the University of Miami Miller School of Medicine. Levi did not treat Jobs or have access to his medical records. His comments are about islet cell carcinoma in general and not specifically about Jobs' case.

Can Neuroendocrine Tumors/Islet Cell Carcinomas Be Cured? continued...

"If it can be cured with surgery we try for that," Levi says. "If not there are options: chemotherapy and a number of other options to try to control this tumor. Some of these cancers are not curable, but patients can do well for years and years. ... Many can be treated medically for months and years and do quite well and lead normal lives to the last."

Jobs is said to have undergone the Whipple procedure. This is the preferred type of surgery when an islet cell tumor is on the head of the pancreas. It means that the head of the pancreas is removed, as is part of the bile duct, the gallbladder, and the first part of the small intestine. Sometimes part of the stomach is removed as well. Then the remaining parts of these organs are connected back to the small intestine.

Why Did Steve Jobs Have a Liver Transplant?

Although it's now known that Jobs received a liver transplant in Tennessee, it's not clear why. However, Levi says that a small number of patients with islet cell carcinoma may undergo liver transplant if their cancer has spread to the liver but does not appear to have spread elsewhere.

"A very small subset of patients with metastatic neuroendocrine tumors can be treated with liver transplant -- and this can be curative," Levi says.

It's not a procedure for people who may have cancer remaining in their bodies. That's because transplant patients must stay on immune-suppressing anti-rejection drugs for the rest of their lives. Without a functioning immune system, remaining cancer cells grow uncontrollably.

"The cancer can recur after liver transplant. When it does recur, it carries a pretty poor prognosis and ultimately is the cause of death," Levi says." We are limited in what we can do. The patient is immune suppressed. This usually means the cancer is aggressive, and once it recurs it usually is not curable."

http://www.webmd.com/cancer/pancreatic-cancer/news/20110825/faq-steve-jobs-pancreatic-cancer
 HawkingJr
Joined: 4/16/2007
Msg: 322
view profile
History
Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 8/11/2015 1:33:34 PM
“That has been my point all along. Anyone whose life advice for *everyone* is ‘you can do anything you set your mind to’ is indeed delusional. Imagination might be limitless, but ability isn't.”

I feel like the point of most everyone debating me in these threads is that getting a date or a relationship is not an unattainable, superhuman goal for ANYONE, unlike trying to be a 5’4” 130 pound NFL offensive guard. And I obviously agree, if the only goal is to get a date with ANYONE. Where I think you and I part ways with most everyone else is not only the question of level of difficulty for me to get a date with my equivalent, but even what my “equivalent” is. Because theoretically, anyone should be able to get a date with his or her equivalent, right?

Most women in these forums claim the primary reason for consistent male failure is always overshooting his equivalent. The short guys messaging the tall women. The fat guys messaging the thin women. The high school drop-outs messaging the Ph.Ds. The janitors messaging the attorneys. The couch potatoes messaging the cross-fitters. The 60-year-olds messaging the 20-year-olds (well, before the maximum age contact limits). UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS, clogging up the system with worthless messages.

I’ve spent almost 9 years messaging thousands of women who are shorter than me, in the same shape as me, have the same education as me, have similar or even the same job as me, have similar or even the same hobbies and are close to the same age, yet have nothing to show for it. Maybe it’s my messages, maybe it’s my profile, maybe it’s my pics. Then why do I get responses from and (previously) unsolicited messages from women who are absolutely nothing like me (and I’m not talking about in the supermodel direction from me either)?

So maybe, as much as it hurts the “unrealistic expectations” crowd to hear this, maybe, just maybe... a person’s “equivalent” is not necessarily remotely similar to that person. I’m not saying I’m “special” or “unique.” I’m not even saying I’m a statistical anomaly. But I do believe that whole "trestle" analogy is in play. Will the bridge stay up with a bunch of really good trestles but a couple of really bad trestles?

One of my all-time favorite arguments with the late great NDTFan ended when I threw this at her: You tell me who my equivalent is, the women I should be messaging, and I’ll send them messages and we’ll see what happens. Her response was something like, “I can’t choose the women you should be contacting – only you can figure that out.” Well, you know what? I will readily admit: I am actually too dumb to figure that one out. I don’t have any idea what my equivalent woman is. Any of you can tell me right here in this thread and end my anguish over this matter. If you think it’s like porn and you can’t define it, just do a search of women in Tampa and send me an email with equivalent females for me to contact. Because all the evidence seems to be pointing more toward:

who you're contacting is more important than who you are.

Exception: IG. Because his optimism is absurd. Not that I mind sending messages to a bunch of supermodelesque women, but I think all the rest of us can agree that they are not my equivalent and an inefficient use of most men’s time, much less mine.

“Most of us wouldn't expect those women to contact us first, we have to do the contacting first… So you need to make first contact and deal with the high number of rejections.”

I think it’s pretty obvious that I am following that philosophy -- just spent several paragraphs on it. But there are quite a few men on here, including Crook and Clooney, who claim they get so many first contact emails from “acceptable” women that they never have to make first contact themselves and often end up on multiple dates a week without initiating at all. What’s the difference between them and me?
 ThePigIsHereForEternity
Joined: 7/19/2015
Msg: 323
Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 8/11/2015 1:59:12 PM
I say go after anyone you want. However, I still say another profile should be made, and with the intent of it compelling the women to write you. However, I'm not saying *don't* write anyone, though.



I think it’s pretty obvious that I am following that philosophy -- just spent several paragraphs on it. But there are quite a few men on here, including Crook and Clooney, who claim they get so many first contact emails from “acceptable” women that they never have to make first contact themselves and often end up on multiple dates a week without initiating at all. What’s the difference between them and me?


When I first came back in February, I was getting flooded with messages. By the time spring rolled around, it was down to about 1-3 a day. Since creating the new profile last month, it's back to what it was in February, which is why I've suggested deleting your profile and making a new one. I'm thinking it can't possibly be a coincidence.
 dragonbytes
Joined: 12/25/2014
Msg: 324
Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 8/11/2015 2:08:40 PM

Most women in these forums claim the primary reason for consistent male failure is always overshooting his equivalent.


I don't agree. The most common complaints are outright lying, being crude and wanting sex too soon, or only interested in sex.


But there are quite a few men on here, including Crook and Clooney, who claim they get so many first contact emails from “acceptable” women that they never have to make first contact themselves and often end up on multiple dates a week without initiating at all. What’s the difference between them and me?


Only the single biggest difference, AGE.

You could just wait it out. After you get past about 45, there are more women looking to date than men. The older you are, the more true that is. I firmly believe it will get easier todate.
==========================================
If I were you, I would either MSG attractive older women, women with children or foreign born women, along with your ideal. All a compromise to what I think is your ideal.

BUT here is an important point. you have never been in a proper relationship, so how can you be so certain what is really right for you?

And Pig is right, I see many posters that go a long way back create a new profile every 6 months. I always thought they did this because they appear to be new and get a lot more MSGs.

I know, I know, Pig at his low point still gets 1-3 MSG a day Vs your zero, but the principle is it changes a lot with a new profile.

You need to keep changing it up, create a new profile after a while, have pics that stand out, have a profile that seems radical but in a pleasant way.

If you don't want to delete your profile and start again, and the reason you stated that you didn't want to do this because of how it would appear to the forum, then do you really want to date?
 ClooneysMentor
Joined: 8/2/2015
Msg: 325
Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 8/11/2015 2:18:10 PM
I'm grateful to be a tall non-smoking Caucasian male with a Master's Degree and yeah, a Corvette (there, I said it).

Doesn't mean I'm not an a$$hole either, but if these shallow attributes make my inbox attractive, then so be it.

I'm sure if I had no kids, had 6 pack abs and was 10 years younger with a tad more hair on my head, that I'd be getting even more messages then I do now.

Toss in a PhD, 2 more inches (height!) and a Ferrari?

My inbox would explode!

And agreed with Dragon above, the number of single women 45+ looking to date is huge.
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