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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.      Home login  
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 dragonbytes
Joined: 12/25/2014
Msg: 76
Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.Page 4 of 18    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18)

Yeah, tell me about it. 6’2”, with a 30 inch inseam == long torso.


That is short legs long torso.

I am 5.5 with a 28 inch inseam, I take a 32/28. So I think that means I also have a longer torso in comparison to my legs.

It's impossible to find pants that fit off the rack, nearly all men's pants are cut to 30 inch inseam at a minimum. So I expect to have to get any pants hemmed.

Short sleeve tops are no problem, but long sleeve tends to all have too long of sleeves. I hate sleeves that go past my wrist, but I can find a few that fit.

Now if I lost 30 lbs and got down to a 28 inch waist, then I would be 28/28 and I could shop for pants in young teen / boys wear. Clothes are a lot cheaper in that section, pants pretty much look all the same and it tends to fit my small butt better. Tops are hit or miss in boys wear, my chest size is larger than boys button down shirts.

Suits have never been a problem since they are all tailored anyway, and suits for teens / boys don't look the same as adult, so I would never go looking at that section.

My shoe size is not to hard to find, 8 wide - 8.5 medium. But my mother wears a size 4 shoe, she tells me it's very difficult to find that size, she is around 4.8 and 100 lbs.

As far as everyday life, fitting in cars / airplanes, I never give it a second thought, it's all just fine the way it is.

I think men's clothes are produced to an average 5.7 - 6.0 foot frame, and when you get outside of that range it becomes difficult to find.
 Kissfromarose77
Joined: 4/13/2015
Msg: 77
Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 8/3/2015 7:19:07 AM

i'm 5'4 and my mother still loved me <3


Exactly. I'm sorry, but wanting a tall man so you can have tall children is shallow. What if a man said he won't date fat women because he doesn't want to father fat children? Is it because you think your son will have a harder time in this life if he turns out to be short? Being tall is not the end all and everything- you could be short and still have many gifts and talents.
 dragonbytes
Joined: 12/25/2014
Msg: 78
Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 8/3/2015 7:27:19 AM
I am playing the LONG game in dating / life.

================================================
Height, body size, and longevity: is smaller better for the human body?

This bias is based on a few studies and our cultural values but ignores extensive data that indicate that shorter stature is healthier. We summarize our findings of more than 25 years of personal and literature research.​literature research.

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1071721/

At my age, I am happy being shorter than average.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 79
view profile
History
Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 8/3/2015 7:39:32 AM

NG...blah blah blah, short guys. Superficial,...blah, blah, blah.....shallow...blah blah blah

Yeah, point being it's just as 'shallow' as guys can be, but those result in "Well, I Never!"... for gals, it's "my preference, I can't help it... tastes are random!"

they can have all the short women, whatamatta with that?

No, it's not like that - lol. Gals' height preferences typically are not uniform in comparison to their height. Look on Match and compare short girls with tall girls, and you won't find a trend in x amount of inches taller, with y amount of inches for maximum height in comparison to them. More short gals will be lenient on height, allowing guys to be a bit below average, but not "short". It's a pretty wide consensus that girls of all height don't want a guy who's one of the short ones in the room -- even if he's taller than her in heels. He just has a better Chance with the short gal in the room, that's all. But pound for pound, he'll still be outmatched by a guy of average height or a bit more.
 Behind-Blue-Eyes_53
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 80
Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 8/3/2015 1:56:45 PM

I'm sorry, but wanting a tall man so you can have tall children is shallow. What if a man said he won't date fat women because he doesn't want to father fat children? Is it because you think your son will have a harder time in this life if he turns out to be short? Being tall is not the end all and everything- you could be short and still have many gifts and talents.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pWdd6_ZxX8c
 SunshineGirl__
Joined: 10/7/2014
Msg: 81
Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 8/3/2015 2:10:26 PM

No, it's not a pro/con thing. Bobby Brady got to crawl out of a small window to rescue people locked inside a walk-in freezer.


Was that the episode where he was hanging from the top bar of the swing set to stretch himself out to be taller?

What a crock of crap…he saved lives because he’s tiny! Of course, he was also a CHILD.


I replied that I didn't realize that she was 54 and that I thought she was 44. "i'm sorry you're just too old for me." ....


Right, that’s something someone who is


comfortable with myself at 5'4


would childishly do. If you were really comfortable with yourself, you wouldn’t need to nastily lash out to hurt others, then come on here to brag about it.
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 82
view profile
History
Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 8/3/2015 2:28:45 PM

As for Asian clothing sizes, my father used to have good luck with the "Hong Kong tailor", who likely no longer exists in hotel rooms anymore.


You can't beat them! Best place for custom suits. But the bespoke tailors themselves tend to be Indian.
 CrookCatcher
Joined: 7/14/2014
Msg: 83
Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 8/3/2015 3:38:21 PM

At my age, I am happy being shorter than average.


Well damn......so at my age I guess I'm down to emergency height reduction or just dropping over dead.....thanks. :/
 Peas_
Joined: 5/2/2015
Msg: 84
Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 8/3/2015 4:35:42 PM
okay, okay, I'll fess up as to the reason why I'm no longer attracted to short men. I think I said this before, but prolly in not as much detail. My ex was short at, 5'7". I let his sociopath/psychopath skills get the best of me. He was funny. I really adore men who can make me laugh. ...as the years wore on, he became emotionally, mentally, and physically abusive. Broken bones, noses, bruises, finger poking me into a a corner to provoke me with yelling at the back of my skull right through the front of my eye balls, I was also stalked during and after the divorce by him....my family is all tall, all my bro's, and dad were over 6'. ...hahahaha Well, guess what? I produced a son that will be 6'3" when he's done growing. Towering over his azzhole father.

oh, yeah, I'm fine. lmfao. this is only a short version of the summary, btw. I'll be rich after I write the book.

oh, yes ALSO I baited that I'm_Right fella, that troll. I can recognize short man syndrome in a heart beat now. Yup.
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 85
view profile
History
Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 8/3/2015 5:57:49 PM
Ok, explain away this one. My grandmother was 4'11", my grandfather, 5'6". My dad was 6'2", and I'm 6'3"

My opinion- I think it has to do with nutrition. I've seen parents that were short- with tall kids. I see loads of tall girls now. I also see a lot of size 13 and 14 in men's shoes, that I didn't several years ago. I'm also finding more 36" inseam pants, (Closer to mine, I'm a 35" inseam)

Genetics? Maybe. I think we're eating better food.
 sealady111
Joined: 5/31/2015
Msg: 86
Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 8/3/2015 6:10:12 PM
I agree Purple. Better food.
Many Asian men who have grown up with a western diet are now over 6 foot.


Peas, whilst I also agree that 'short man syndrome' does exist. I do not think height and nastiness have a causal link. I am so sorry that you had to go through all that. Yes writing a book could be good, especially if you write it from the view point of why you stayed so long and how found the strength to leave.
Make it a positive book.

People like me cannot understand why anyone would put up with what you have described more than once. It is totally unacceptable but if we keep accepting it, it will keep happening.
Bullies can only be bullies if we let them.

Our current Australian of the year Rosie Batty has become a champion against domestic violence.
Her son was killed by his father at cricket practice. Full daylight, in front of lots and lots of other kids and parents. The murderous father then killed himself.

Rosie left the relationship because of violence, but had no idea that taking her son to cricket practice and allowing him to see his dad, when the son was begging to see his dad would be catastrophic.

She has amazing strength. Sadly women being murdered by their current or ex partner has doubled in the last few years. Here in Australia - this year we are averaging 2 women dead at the hands of the man they loved a week. Horrendous.

Please write your book about how to get the strength to leave and be a survivor.
Never be a victim.

Hugs.
 Peas_
Joined: 5/2/2015
Msg: 87
Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 8/3/2015 6:14:12 PM
No, I had a 7' great great grandfather. He had to build his house with special high enough doorways. It stands to this day in Wapakoneta, Ohio. Brick house.

AND....I'm sure other women don't equate "nasty" to shorter men. BUT IT DOES TO ME NOW.

Strength? Positive? I'm just hard to kill. I suspect it will be a horror, suspense. Took me 18 years to figure out he was a psychopath with no empathy.
 sigungq
Joined: 1/4/2013
Msg: 88
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History
Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 8/3/2015 6:30:22 PM
Heightism, racism, ageism, and a whole host of others are sweeping prejudices masquerading as sexual preferences. As soon as I see a profile that says anything limiting about these things I go NEXT!!!!

NUFF SAID!
 Blackwood85
Joined: 5/20/2013
Msg: 89
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History
Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 8/3/2015 7:22:19 PM

No, I had a 7' great great grandfather. He had to build his house with special high enough doorways. It stands to this day in Wapakoneta, Ohio. Brick house.

AND....I'm sure other women don't equate "nasty" to shorter men. BUT IT DOES TO ME NOW.

Strength? Positive? I'm just hard to kill. I suspect it will be a horror, suspense. Took me 18 years to figure out he was a psychopath with no empathy.


There are men who are over 6' tall who are abusive ***holes, I don't think height has anything to do with that. I'm 5'9" so I'm average (even though 5'7" is considered average around the world) you say nothing is wrong with you but you might want to look into seeking therapy, that's not healthy thinking at all. It would be like me having a bad relationship with a white chick and thinking that all white women are nasty ****es. Or a white woman who gets attacked by a black guy and thinking that ALL black men are inherently violent and just being content and OK with that thought process.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 6/22/2012
Msg: 90
Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 8/3/2015 11:30:56 PM
Height has nothing to do with behavior, but we are all products of/victims of our pasts. Our opinions on dating, and food, politics and the whole damn world around us are colored by what's happened to us before. The sad part is, we can't see past that statistical improbability and continue with something similar without assuming it IS or it WILL be the same.

My ex was a big gal who adopted a lazy inactive lifestyle and I was sucked into it to the point my health began to suffer. Our sex lives were non-existent, and her behavior as a spoiled youngest child from a large family came with a bunch of entitlement issues. Of course a woman with a similar body shape won't be the same, but I feel the need to distance myself and TRY for something different.

As far as height and other preferences goes, I put this on Tinder - sums it it rather well.
"I still 'like' women in here with height issues and motorcycles, even though I don't. Attraction comes in all forms, and only an idiot puts a list ahead of the real thing."

People are always going to like what they like, and nobody can change that. I just think making a checklist takes the humanity out of the equation, and that's never a good thing. I don't ever want to be a point total or a spot on the Hot vs Crazy chart. I have a name. I have a life. Someone who respects that won't be dating through a list - they will be making eye contact and communicating. People fishing for excuses to not date will always find a reason to quit. That's too easy to do. I want someone who finds a reason to stay.
 Peas_
Joined: 5/2/2015
Msg: 91
Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 8/4/2015 1:05:18 AM
5'7" is NOT considered average height in the U.S. for men. That is laughable.

I do not have a height requirement on my profile as a list of negatives. Just skullets with cowboy hats. I will not answer shorter men who are interested in me. I can be friends, just not ever a possibility of lovers. As Belle said, I won't ever see myself fvcking it, so why bother? Therapy? Let's take that to physical therapy. No, I taught myself how to walk again after a year in a wheelchair. Now if you lived every step of your life with a pain due to an amputated foot being put back on, do you think you'd ever forget? Nothing like negative reinforcement. It's just a little bit more deeply seeded than something that everyone assumes is "superficial" and "shallow" about me.

and yes, height does too have to do with some men's behavior. I've seen it. Time and time again. It's just easier to not put myself in harms way anymore by avoiding that characteristic. Simple. It keeps me safer. I only have to worry about abusive taller men, which there are plenty. So actually I am cutting my odds of running into an abusive man by cutting out that characteristic that has left a sour taste in my mouth.

I don't have a problem when other people want what they want.

I don't like cats either, and won't date a man with cats. lmfao. Doesn't say that on my profile.
 shirleywonton01
Joined: 4/30/2015
Msg: 92
Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 8/4/2015 1:10:06 AM

Shirley,

the age fibbing has to do with the POF 14 year age restriction. 14 years plus and minus.

it would be rare and i'm not ruling it out but generally speaking what am I going to do with a nearly 80 year old woman?


I hear ya but doesn't that work both ways? Easy enough to tell someone I don't date 14 years older or younger. Personally I prefer 5 yrs +/-
 Seki1949
Joined: 9/4/2013
Msg: 93
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History
Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 8/4/2015 1:33:51 AM

As Belle said, I won't ever see myself fvcking it, so why bother?


I think most women know that almost instantly. If it's a negatory, doesn't matter how long the first meet and greet is.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 94
Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 8/4/2015 7:37:57 AM

5'7" is NOT considered average height in the U.S. for men. That is laughable


He said 5' 7" is average for the world. Not the U.S.


and yes, height does too have to do with some men's behavior. I've seen it. Time and time again. It's just easier to not put myself in harms way anymore by avoiding that characteristic. Simple. It keeps me safer. I only have to worry about abusive taller men, which there are plenty. So actually I am cutting my odds of running into an abusive man by cutting out that characteristic that has left a sour taste in my mouth.


This is just a generalization from bad experience(s). You are just as likely to see tall men that are jerks, abusive etc. The difference is these negative personality traits often aren't linked to a tall man's height.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 6/22/2012
Msg: 95
Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 8/4/2015 7:54:54 AM

...and yes, height does too have to do with some men's behavior. I've seen it.

Sure, one can generalize - but how much of that behavior is due to how society treats an 'inferior' specimen versus some sort of genetic preference to be an azzhat?

At 5'8", even I get ignored significantly more in these dating sites than if I change my height to 5'10" - I've done that, seen it. Yet I'm supposed to just 'suck it up' or 'rub some dirt in it' and deal with whatever leftover women have given up on shooting for the above-average line? Pffft. People do what they can to find a mate, and if it involves lying or being a jerk, it's what they do. If it gets results, they keep doing it. If it's what they are used to being around, they KEEP going back to it. A lot of this stuff is LEARNED, and people tend to forget that.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 96
Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 8/4/2015 8:30:15 AM
Purple - mix-up at the hospital?
Short men take me as a challenge if I'm at a bar or club, annoying as gnats.
Don't see how being fat is the same as a man being short tho.
I don't sit on line complaining about being tall however. If you have been short (ish) all your Life, shouldn't by now you've come to accept it?
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 6/22/2012
Msg: 97
Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 8/4/2015 10:17:40 AM

Short men take me as a challenge if I'm at a bar or club, annoying as gnats.


If you have been short (ish) all your Life, shouldn't by now you've come to accept it?

Being short isn't the issue - people under 5' 4" can still open doors and dress themselves and even play basketball - it's the attitude towards it. "Annoying as gnats"? -- It's really no different than racism or sexism or other 'isms' out there.

My neighborhood and home life doesn't include very many people of color. Since I am not a witness to the small struggles and attitudes some of them still face on a daily basis, it's very easy to believe they are doing 'better' and should learn to accept it, right? Well, we all know damn well there are still problems out there. We all know a lot of dating and relationship issues brought forth in these forums come with a lot of over-hyped drama, and usually from a very narrow window of experience - but it doesn't mean the discrimination does not exist.

People can claim a thousand times over that they believe there is a person for everyone in here and are even willing to make exceptions for the right person, but what you set into that computer for your preferences is what the computer is going to look for - nothing more, and definitely nothing less. Are you willing to change those settings? DO YOU?

Like a previous poster said - look at Match profiles and the listings for maximum and minimum height preferences. Count how many women actually prefer a guy under say 5' 6". Survey a few dozen random profiles. Do the math. Look at how many short ladies (say under 5'4") list their MINIMUM height for a man at 5' 10" or taller. It's not just height - you can take just about ANY category out there and see how people Men AND Women are using these sites to look for above-average types as their 'Minimum' preference. Anyone in here who is 'A Few Extra Pounds' or 'BBW' gets ignored and turned away constantly. If we all 'Accepted' that rejection, and moved on - the only people left on the dating sites would be models and phony profiles with models for pictures.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 98
view profile
History
Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 8/4/2015 11:10:01 AM

My ex was short at, 5'7". I let his sociopath/psychopath skills get the best of me. .... I'm sure other women don't equate "nasty" to shorter men. BUT IT DOES TO ME NOW.

You realize that's illogical and wacky association-bias, right? Especially when it's not something applied like "too much eye shadow" and making a silly association with that. "He was over 6'1" and like, after 18 years I realized he had no empathy and was a real a-hole. Men over 6'1" are horrible!" Nice, nice.

5'7" is NOT considered average height in the U.S. for men. That is laughable.

The average non-hispanic white or black guy in America is about 5'10". Yeah, that's lacking 3 inches. But as you point out -- it's not about height compared to YOU, it's height compared to other MEN... which is what one will find on girls' Match height preferences. That's the key for guys -- it's about not being one of the shorter ones in the room. A shorter white guy could crash an asian / hispanic dance or event, and he would have a better shot at the ladies VS being at an male athlete convention where the ladies were the same height in either places.

At 5'8", even I get ignored significantly more in these dating sites than if I change my height to 5'10" - I've done that, seen it.

Yeah. Even if you targeted gals under 5'5", you'd still garner better results doing that, yep. Here's a little secret: Women are into looks a lot. So are men. But it's more downplayed for gals, even in many of their own minds, because looks is a more sensitive issue (and to avoid potential criticism; being into looks will draw that in, not being into looks will deflect it).

People do what they can to find a mate, and if it involves lying or being a jerk, it's what they do. If it gets results, they keep doing it.

True. One of my friends years ago would have a pack of cigarettes he'd nibble on, and go through one about every 3 weeks or so. Not 3 days, 3 weeks. Online, he put occasionally. I told him he barely smokes -- certainly not enough where he "can't stop" or something (which he did stop that minimal amount w/ GF). He changed it to he doesn't smoke, and his results got better. Did that 'lying' cost him? No. Could it have? Yeah. But at the end of the day, it'd bring him better results.

One who hisses at people putting exaggerated info on a profile in certain spots, really has no leg to stand on as far as convincing anyone not to, when said person is getting better, mutually happier results in the end. Obviously there's limits & boundaries, which vary from person to person.

Like a previous poster said - look at Match profiles and the listings for maximum and minimum height preferences. Count how many women actually prefer a guy under say 5' 6". Survey a few dozen random profiles. Do the math. Look at how many short ladies (say under 5'4") list their MINIMUM height for a man at 5' 10" or taller.

Yeah, I once did an analysis on the forums about that. Gals who are TALL don't need a guy to be much taller than them. Most gals who are 6-7" shorter than a tall lady will just want a guy about 2-3" shorter than the minimum of said taller gal who's a half-foot taller than she.

Of course, this is ONLINE, remember. People are more stringent about the numbers (among other things) VS mingling with someone IRL. But yeah, it still exists and for any gal who goes by that, she shouldn't complain that guys are into looks or that Bob passed her over because she's only a B cup or something.
 Kissfromarose77
Joined: 4/13/2015
Msg: 99
Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 8/4/2015 11:58:08 AM

Anyone in here who is 'A Few Extra Pounds' or 'BBW' gets ignored and turned away constantly.


Well the average female in the United States now weighs 160 lbs. Considering that 5 ft 4 is the average height for a woman, that is overweight. 160 lbs is a healthy weight for somebody of my height - 5 ft 10. If an American male wants a woman who's not overweight he is going to have limited options.
 Peas_
Joined: 5/2/2015
Msg: 100
Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 8/4/2015 12:16:09 PM


My ex was short at, 5'7". I let his sociopath/psychopath skills get the best of me. .... I'm sure other women don't equate "nasty" to shorter men. BUT IT DOES TO ME NOW.


You realize that's illogical and wacky association-bias, right? Especially when it's not something applied like "too much eye shadow" and making a silly association with that. "He was over 6'1" and like, after 18 years I realized he had no empathy and was a real a-hole. Men over 6'1" are horrible!" Nice, nice.


Who's analogy is illogical and wacky? Is this the Rocky Horror Show? Something you want to tell us?

Ring a bell and I'll salivate too.

You haven't lived my life. Why are you so concerned as to why my preferences are they way they are? It is what it is now. I'm not going to keep explaining. I'm not superficial. I just don't prefer that characteristic anymore. I used to be okay with it. Not anymore, I will avoid it. Nope, no wet panties lusting after hunky shorter fellows, sowry.

I'd think you were lying on your profile about your height, NG, due to your over concern about ...ah ....me and what I think.

You can't change my mind.

I don't think all shorter men have abusive behavior, I said, SOME.

and yes, ex was clinically proven to be psychopath with crimminalistic tendencies by a psych evaluation during the divorce.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.