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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.      Home login  
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 07songsungblue
Joined: 7/10/2015
Msg: 151
Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.Page 7 of 18    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18)

One of the Fishmeet "regulars" here can't be more than 5'4"/possibly only 5'2" and is always in high demand with the ladies simply because he can/will dance. If dancing with a "strange" woman isn't an easy icebreaker, then I don't know what is.


I know a guy who loved to dance, attended every dance venue in town and also took lessons every chance he got. When he retired at 65 he hooked up with a few cruise lines, these cruise lines were looking specifically for men who liked to dance. So he signed on. The cruise lines would pay for his airfare to wherever the ship was leaving (Florida or California) and they also paid his passage and meals, all he had to pay for was any liquor he consumed. His job...dance with all the unattached women on the cruise ship. He had to dance with them all, he couldn't pick favorites and he couldn't "date" them. He spent three years doing this and got to travel all through the Caribbean, the Mediterranean and many ports of call in Europe more than once. He had a blast, it cost him beer money and he met some lovely people. As an aside, he was short too, maybe 5'6" at most and very charming and polite....married 5 times.

There are a lot of single women out there and fewer men as we get older.

So, Tom Da Bomb should check this out.
 dragonbytes
Joined: 12/25/2014
Msg: 152
Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 8/5/2015 9:07:57 AM
Peas_
You haven't lived my life. Why are you so concerned as to why my preferences are they way they are? It is what it is now. I'm not going to keep explaining. I'm not superficial. I just don't prefer that characteristic anymore. I used to be okay with it. Not anymore, I will avoid it. Nope, no wet panties lusting after hunky shorter fellows, sowry.


I read your story, sorry about you having to endure such abuse.

IMO it's perfectly OK to avoid short men because of previous trauma you associate with a short man. It may not be logical, but it also doesn't hurt you to avoid short men, so it's seems harmless, most men are over 5.7 in any case, so you don't miss out on much .

A lot of avoidance is based on some past trauma. Like my mother excessively cooks meat because as a child she ate a number of hot dogs that were spoiled, got a serious case of food poisoning.

I tend to prefer to date a different ethnicity that the last woman I had a relationship with. Not sure exactly why I have that idiosyncrasy, but I have noticed it's true.


When he retired at 65 he hooked up with a few cruise lines, these cruise lines were looking specifically for men who liked to dance. So he signed on. The cruise lines would pay for his airfare to wherever the ship was leaving (Florida or California) and they also paid his passage and meals, all he had to pay for was any liquor he consumed.


That's a weird story and very odd job to have, I hope it's 100% true. I assume they don't advertise that position on monster?

HawkingJr, ThePigIsHereForEternity and or InnerGorilla

I think it would be a very interesting experiment for either Pig or IG to "take over"Hawkings" profile, and attempt to get phone numbers and dates. Why not, Pig and Hawking know each other, both Pig and IG believe it's all about confidence and attitude, this would go a long way to either prove or disprove that theory.

Hawkings could go on any actual dates / meets.

I would get interested in the results.
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 153
view profile
History
Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 8/5/2015 9:24:11 AM
^^^That might be a decent experiment; but I would take it a step further, and just have them put a shorter height in their profiles. This makes sense because it will prove if height is the issue or not! Best way to find out what isn't working is by process of elimination.

In addition, there are techniques to get more women to reply, but those women replying aren't necessarily doing it because they are attracted, so the simplest message is often best IMHO.



There are a lot of single women out there and fewer men as we get older.


Victory by attrition! That is good to know!Lol
 Peas_
Joined: 5/2/2015
Msg: 154
Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 8/5/2015 9:31:30 AM
Yup, thank you for recognizing trauma....prolly not the sweetest characteric of PTSD, eh?

Persistent avoidance of stimuli associated with the trauma and numbing of general responsiveness (not present before the trauma),....
 ablankcanvas
Joined: 7/29/2015
Msg: 155
Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 8/5/2015 9:46:49 AM
Post 151 made me laugh, cause it is the true NY'ers guide to dating. 5pts. for the truth!
 dragonbytes
Joined: 12/25/2014
Msg: 156
Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 8/5/2015 9:57:09 AM

^^^That might be a decent experiment; but I would take it a step further, and just have them put a shorter height in their profiles.


IMO if pig or IG could get say 5-10% response and set up meets using Hawking's profile, it would be a perfect proof it was all about attitude.

Pig IMO looks tall and imposing on his pics, and I doubt whether either PIG or IG would want to poisen their dating pool, and IG is planning on getting married, I doubt his heart would be into using his own profile.

-------------------------------------------------
I never asked this poster his experience with being tall then being short. He was named FishOwl, but it would have been intersting. He shrunk 5 inches. He hasn't posted for a couple of years. He is 68 so not a perfect case of short Vs tall experience, but close. Likely he isn't on POF any longer.

From his profile.


I am 159 cm (5 ft 7 in) tall and used to be 183 cm (6 ft) before 12 spinal compressions. Mas que ayer, menos que mañana. More than yesterday, less than tomorrow.


----------------------------------------------------------
There was this one poster, a shorter older black man, one of his pics was him hammering on a forge, he appeared to be in great shape and quite successful with women and IMO his pics were outstanding. Don't recall his profile name, he didn't post often, and I don't recall his height. I likely have a link to it, but it's lost in all the other links.
 11qq
Joined: 7/17/2015
Msg: 157
Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 8/5/2015 10:11:47 AM
Blue said:

So, Tom Da Bomb should check this out.


I should check out dancing on cruise ships for free travel? I would do it but i'm a one trick pony.

i'm a fast dancer. in my prime I was close to being as good as most of the Soul Train dancers.

in Youngstown, Ohio in the 70's my two friends and I were known as THE DIAMOND DOGS.

I do not enjoy doing swing, salsa or jitterbug. so the cruise people wouldn't want me.

furthermore, I no longer enjoy my generation's music. I prefer today's top 20. it's fresh.
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 158
view profile
History
Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 8/5/2015 10:24:37 AM

Post 151 made me laugh, cause it is the true NY'ers guide to dating. 5pts. for the truth!


I left the minor leagues, and I play a 6+ pt game myself! ;)
 BelleAtlantic
Joined: 11/7/2012
Msg: 159
Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 8/5/2015 10:29:26 AM

I do not enjoy doing swing, salsa or jitterbug.


Those are my favorites, lol. I find swing fascinating, so many things you can do, and it looks so fancy. Salsa is so sophisticated and rhythm-focused...............the jitterbug I'm not too crazy for but it looks fascinating on the dance floor, haven't done much of that myself because I'm always drinking for hydration between dances or ate recently. It's not a good idea to get wild dancing when there's a chance what you have inside may come out *muttley laugh*

How about the hustle? We had the honor of practicing to "Staying alive", felt like I was in the movie and all, very interesting.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 160
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Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 8/5/2015 1:44:05 PM

I think it would be a very interesting experiment for either Pig or IG to "take over"Hawkings" profile, and attempt to get phone numbers and dates. Why not, Pig and Hawking know each other, both Pig and IG believe it's all about confidence and attitude, this would go a long way to either prove or disprove that theory.

A good experiment, yes. If Hawking wouldn't be such a fan of it, they could just make up fake profiles and see what kind of interest they nab, give Hawking the login & password for him to check out and ask "So how does this compare to Your luck online?"

I will say that someone who's 5'4", just as much a step under 5'7" as someone 5'7" is under someone who's 5'10" -- their options online are going to be less than RL. I don't blame Hawking for having that mentality of sexpectations, but at the same time, one shouldn't aim purely online either. Especially not POF which has a higher % of just-dating, which is going to focus more on looks (height being a key part for the ladies). But yeah, I do believe it'd garner better results than what Hawking claims for himself! But by how much?

Hawking, you could make a movie about a short guy like yourself not able to get gals. Maybe in the process of making it, it'd inspire you to figure out a way (for the sake of the movie of course) to make he short guy character succeed. NOT in a bland/typical/silly "Sally, his female friend who he hands out with and has had a crush on for years likes tall guys, while she's giving him tips on how to find the right woman... when in the end, she finally sees the light and he wins her over -- after his buddies try and mold him into being a PUA that wasn't right for true love." No. Bad, unrealistic, and sappy of course. I'm talking about something reflecting RL, where he realizes that even though he's playing football in the dating life with only 3 downs and 15 yards instead of 10 to get a first down -- his mentality changes (being a whole other part of the plot) and He sees the light in how things work... which put him at being a more successful person in life altogether too, etc.
 Blackwood85
Joined: 5/20/2013
Msg: 161
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Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 8/5/2015 1:44:09 PM


IMO if pig or IG could get say 5-10% response and set up meets using Hawking's profile, it would be a perfect proof it was all about attitude.


My main critique of Hawking is that he's not really all that unique.

We're both black nerds, we're both from the south, I'm from Greensboro, NC which may be a bit more liberal than other southern cities but still has a history of racism but also a rich history of civil rights (marches, the Greensboro Sit-ins, the Aggie four, the "Scott Hall dorm shooting" etc...) we're both introverts, we're both creative types, I'm getting my master's in creative writing or film making after my enlistment is up. The major difference is that I grew up a military brat and he didn't. The major difference between us is that I can whatever perceived negative I have (the shyness, the quietness) and turn it into a positive. We both don't give a shit but in the end I turn that into a positive, I come in with no expectations, no added pressure, I had a period of being "on fire" and I did nothing different at all.

I've had some negative experiences with women but I'm not going to let them ruin my day, I'm not going to let dictate my positive perception of women, it's not healthy to have such a negative outlook. It's best to just to take a step back people complain about OLD but at the end of the day you've gained nothing but you've lost nothing, it is what it is.
 kj521
Joined: 8/8/2012
Msg: 162
Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 8/5/2015 2:43:01 PM
"I prefer today's top 20. it's fresh."



Alright Tom! At least I won't be the only middle aged person out there dancing to......

Watch Me Whip/Nae Nae

I have to admit....my Nae Nae is pretty good! Still working on the Stanky Leg and the Bop....though. :/
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 163
Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 8/5/2015 3:16:22 PM

I'm getting my master's in creative writing or film making after my enlistment is up. The major difference is that I grew up a military brat and he didn't. The major difference between us is that I can whatever perceived negative I have (the shyness, the quietness) and turn it into a positive. We both don't give a shit but in the end I turn that into a positive, I come in with no expectations, no added pressure, I had a period of being "on fire" and I did nothing different at all.


Damn it Blackwood, yo da man. And I agree 100 percent with you.

If I would not get kicked out of this place I would go in Halkings profile, fix it up a little. Then go hunting.
But first, get rid of all the photos with a silly smile. ALL OF THEM. Second, put some photos of him working on a production, being a director, or doing the sh it and being the boss producer. Third, learn from the very drama that he works on and have a couple of mysterious photos posters in Chiaroscuro, very dramatic. I would talk about the passion of creating meaningful characters for a movie. What it feels to see an idea in your head, nebulous and then have it paper, then convey that to the actors, to the awesome experience to see someone in an audience cry like a baby at that dramatic moment.

Then completely rewrite his profile so it shows more panache and attitude.

Then practice the hunt. That is searching for profiles of interesting women. Send them short messages that are cryptic and that they only they would understand based on their profiles. Then ask for the date. I am sure I could get him in one month at least 3 dates.
And dam n it. If there were the technology you see in Spy movies, probably get him laid to one of those ladies. Just tell him when to tell his stories, how to hold at bay the negative stuff, and then let it rip about what he is passionate about. When to initiate Keno, when to pull back. When to ask questions and listen. When to close and go for the kiss.
 Eric_Summit
Joined: 11/3/2009
Msg: 164
Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 8/5/2015 3:20:08 PM
I have no idea about that new music to which you crazy kids are shaking your knickers.
 Moderate_Recall
Joined: 3/1/2015
Msg: 165
Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 8/5/2015 3:26:29 PM

If there were the technology you see in Spy movies, probably get him laid to one of those ladies. Just tell him when to tell his stories, how to hold at bay the negative stuff,


There IS such technology Cyrano deB, some of it may be getting more affordable and is blue-tooth ready. I think you have to be in the same room and not more than about 50 feet away. You have seen those in-the-ear hearing aids?

There may be hope for Hawking yet with an innergorilla...
 CharminC
Joined: 2/19/2011
Msg: 166
Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 8/5/2015 4:33:49 PM

I said women are sticklers for height



Some women.........................SOME!!!! pffht
 HawkingJr
Joined: 4/16/2007
Msg: 167
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Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 8/5/2015 4:36:40 PM
“The major difference is that I grew up a military brat and he didn't. The major difference between us...”

You know exactly what the ACTUAL major difference between us is – you mentioned it earlier in this thread and got castigated for it.

Not to sound like Obama, but you could be my brother. You and I are similar and dissimilar in almost exactly the same ways as my brother and I are similar and dissimilar. And as far as I can tell, you and my brother have very similar success when it comes to women. I feel like that is somehow meaningful in the big scheme of things within this discussion.

*

As far as this “experiment” is concerned, as I’ve pointed out before, any time I’ve changed my height to something like 6 foot and left the rest of my profile unchanged (removing any pictures that show my height), my views, unsolicited messages and response rate increase astronomically. In the early POF days, I was averaging 2 to 3 unsolicited views a week normally (as opposed to the current nearly 0-for-2015) – usually my views would increase to about 30 a week with the height change. Which is pretty close to “average” for men on here in large markets. I haven’t very often sent out messages during such experiments (as Clooney and Crook frequently point out, you don’t even have to under those circumstances, because women are actually contacting you!), but the couple of times I did, my response rate was in the 10-20% range, as opposed to the 1-5% range I’ve had most of the time.

My point with that info is not condemn women for their height preferences/requirements. My point is, when my height is “normal” then apparently my profile and pictures and messaging style are good enough to deliver “normal” performance on this site. So I don’t really see the point in this experiment. I’ve also had, in the past, great “success” on sites that did not have height listings or searches. (“Success” being a relative term: I mean, I made a lot of connections and got a lot of meetings, in comparison to the ROI on my POF effort, anyway.) So you’d think Tinder would be the perfect modern tool for me, but I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m just too old. (Man, I don’t fit in anywhere anymore – too young for POF meets, too old for Tinder.) I’ve been using the app for over a year, with no obvious height pictures, and still have almost no matches to show for it despite clicking “Yes” to almost every woman that pops up – many thousands by this point. But it just skews so young. And I don't think most people on it take it very seriously, unlike some of those older sites I used to succeed on.

As for Tom, there are two main differences between him and I, and none of them involve dancing (I have nothing but partying female best friends – I’ve been on the dance floor a zillion times). He’s a white guy with a white personality, and he’s much older, both of which are significant dating advantages to being a non-white guy with a white personality, and being the age when women are most strongly guarding their eggs, particularly from time bandits (you know, any guy that’s a waste of their precious time). We’re the same height and it is a big, equal negative for both of us, but we are not otherwise in the same boat whatsoever. He certainly has far less options than Clooney or Crook or Pig or Joe or IG, but he has enough options left that apparently it hasn’t been bothersome or maybe even noticeable to him. Until recently, anyway. Maybe it's Florida that's all screwed up for men of a certain height.

None of this really matters anymore. I hit a wall. Hit it pretty hard. Splattered all over it. I cannot carry on a dialogue with a woman on a dating site anymore. I just can’t do it. It’s like having written thousands of original short stories that all have the same ending. I just can’t write one more. I think if my “dream girl” wrote me now, I wouldn’t write her back. For starters, she’d have to be a “Ruby Sparks”-like fiction anyway, but regardless, I know exactly how it would all end, and I just can’t put any enthusiasm into any dialogue whose ending I know. Just makes me ill even thinking about it anymore. I’ve known how it will all end for the last few years, but I had just enough spirit left in me to go through the motions. Now I’m motion sick.
 11qq
Joined: 7/17/2015
Msg: 168
Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 8/5/2015 5:22:57 PM

Alright Tom! At least I won't be the only middle aged person out there dancing to......

Watch Me Whip/Nae Nae

I have to admit....my Nae Nae is pretty good! Still working on the Stanky Leg and the Bop....though. :/


I saw that video KJ and that kid singer must be what? ten years old?

you do the Nae Nae and i'll have to do the Stanky Leg.

your legs can never be stanky in those black stilettos.
 ThePigIsHereForEternity
Joined: 7/19/2015
Msg: 169
Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 8/5/2015 5:27:17 PM


Why not, Pig and Hawking know each other, both Pig and IG believe it's all about confidence and attitude, this would go a long way to either prove or disprove that theory.


While I do believe confidence and attitude play a role, I'm not going to be so foolish as to believe looks don't matter in the online aspect. Of course, they do. However, it still helps to have the other bases covered. And yes, I do see A LOT about height preferences on POF, yet I see short men with taller women almost every weekend I go out. I even make it a point to keep my eye out for it.

As I've said before, with a profile, you want something that will leave someone reading it saying to themself "Ok, I've never seen anything like that before, I HAVE to say something about it." The thing is, a lot of people seem to have an aversion to being daring with it, and end up with a "dime a dozen" profile that looks like they listened to the wrong advice in the Profile Reviews forum.



your legs can never be stanky in those black stilettos.


Yeah, I have to say, the shoes she wore were probably the most awesome women's shoes I've ever seen.
 11qq
Joined: 7/17/2015
Msg: 170
Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 8/5/2015 5:45:08 PM
KJ was red hot that night Mr. Pig.

i'd have to guess that a half a dozen men had to see their chiropractor the next day for a stiff neck from whipping their head around to check her out while she sashayed around in Ybor City in those high black pumps.
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 171
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Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 8/5/2015 6:20:45 PM

KJ was red hot that night Mr. Pig.


I missed it , damn! Coup e tat for the President that doesn't take care of his advisers!


As far as this “experiment” is concerned, as I’ve pointed out before, any time I’ve changed my height to something like 6 foot and left the rest of my profile unchanged (removing any pictures that show my height), my views, unsolicited messages and response rate increase astronomically. In the early POF days, I was averaging 2 to 3 unsolicited views a week normally (as opposed to the current nearly 0-for-2015) – usually my views would increase to about 30 a week with the height change. Which is pretty close to “average” for men on here in large markets. I haven’t very often sent out messages during such experiments (as Clooney and Crook frequently point out, you don’t even have to under those circumstances, because women are actually contacting you!), but the couple of times I did, my response rate was in the 10-20% range, as opposed to the 1-5% range I’ve had most of the time.


Well, I certainly see your point, but I am a bit curious as to what is causing the difference. Before you say height, realize that the MAJORITY of women who spontaneously view me unsolicited, and initiate a message due so out of seeing me in "online now" section. They aren't doing a search, I know this as a fact. In fact. I will get messages almost only when I log into the main site to send pm's or read pm's from friends. Otherwise it is dead. I was off for about a year and I didn't have loads of mail.

So if they are behaving that way in Tampa, perhaps it is similar, and you are more likely to get "looked at" by being actually logged into the main site and reading and sending messages there. That being said, for another reason, I have been alternating my location for the last week( NO BELLE it isn't to find a mistress :P). Well, I took Tampa for 24 hours and I have an opinion about your dating market/pool
that could be a factor in your situation. I always say location, location, location and BOY did that location tell me something. Send me a pm so I can tell you since you have profile exclusions because I am too much of a gentleman to have to send KJ , thus reading it 1st!(she will change whatever I say by the time it gets to you anyway lol)

That being said, getting a 3-5% is certainly doable if YOU can convert half to meetings! % comparisons are mostly about ego , EXCEPT if you are doing it to fine tune your profile, pics and message(not that important). Otherwise you can have the lowest % of replies but come out having more actual dates than most guys. CONVERSION of them to meetings based on PERCEIVED mutual attraction(nothing is real until....) counts much more than a response %, unless you are using the rate to change things.
 kj521
Joined: 8/8/2012
Msg: 172
Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 8/5/2015 6:53:46 PM
Alright now! Y'all quit teasing me! But Mr. Pig? Those shoes? That were not even one of my favorite pairs....I dare say...I have others that are much more exquisite! :D


And Joey....of course, I would most likely change every word of a relayed message. I should not want the adorable Mr. Hawking corrupted. He only needs to believe he is the author, director and leading man of the script that is his life. :D
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 173
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Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 8/5/2015 7:02:38 PM

And Joey....of course, I would most likely change every word of a relayed message. I should not want the adorable Mr. Hawking corrupted. He only needs to believe he is the author, director and leading man of the script that is his life. :D


You can say that again! Might as well be sending smoke signals in Italian after you decode it with that ring! Been there.. done that long ago... gives new meaning to "lost in translation" ;)
 dragonbytes
Joined: 12/25/2014
Msg: 174
Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 8/5/2015 7:52:42 PM

As far as this “experiment” is concerned, as I’ve pointed out before, any time I’ve changed my height to something like 6 foot and left the rest of my profile unchanged (removing any pictures that show my height), my views,


Sigh, you failed to comprehend the experiment.

The point was for someone that is already successful with women to assume your identity, by using your profile to attempt to MSG women. My suggestion was either IG or Pig. Surely adventurejoe70 would also work, but IG and Pig maintain it's all about attitude. IG suggested he would re-write your profile according to his own perceptions of what works. He also suggested he would change your pics.

So using your height, your race, pictures of yourself in a different type of setting, can someone else with a fresh approach do much better than you?

Personally, I know attitude is very important, but I don't know if attitude can overcome your height/race negatives. So I have no guess at how it would work, but it couldn't be worse than zero success.

Of course, IF IG was successful with the experiment, you would then have to deal with how to change the way you interact with women. Though it might be worse for you if you couldn't totally blame physical factors outside of your control (On the other hand, if IG failed, it would cause his theory of attitude being able to overcome your negatives to unravel)

I doubt this experiment will happen, but if it did then regardless of it was a failure or a success, it would be very interesting either way.

But hey, this is the twilight zone, nothing real happens here.
 11qq
Joined: 7/17/2015
Msg: 175
Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 8/5/2015 8:29:19 PM
I was watching the Godfather Part 2 the other day when Michael Corleone said to his brother Tom....

"I don't want to kill everyone, Tom. Just my enemies."

at 5'4 I feel the very same way.

I don't want to date and make love to EVERY woman. Just all those 5'2 and shorter!
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