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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.      Home login  
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 ThePigIsHereForEternity
Joined: 7/19/2015
Msg: 176
Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.Page 8 of 18    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18)


Surely adventurejoe70 would also work, but IG and Pig maintain it's all about attitude.


No, no, no. It's not *all* about attitude, but it is certainly one of several key elements. As I've said before, location is big, too. I know Hawking likely still disagrees with me, but Tampa is a good location. I love the night life there. Sure, there might be better out there, but it beats the everloving shit out of being stuck in the middle of a corn field in the mid west.

Now, as far as this "experiment" goes, not that it would actually happen, but I would go for a complete profile overhaul. I would write the profile, pick out the clothes for new pictures, etc.
 Peas_
Joined: 5/2/2015
Msg: 177
Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 8/5/2015 9:19:09 PM
Hey, what the matter with being stuck in a corn field or a deep dark woods with Jason at Crystal lake or Malachi in the corn?

I miss Tampa. Never had a problem getting dates down there a couple years ago. Up here, yeah, is a different story. I agree, is location.
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 178
Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 8/6/2015 7:51:18 AM

I was averaging 2 to 3 unsolicited views a week normally (as opposed to the current nearly 0-for-2015) – usually my views would increase to about 30 a week with the height change.


Unsolicited? Am I hearing or reading this right? Holly Toledo batman! You are basing all these statistical crap on women contacting you or viewing your profile? Just for your information, my unsolicited views per week when I had an active profile, here were practically zero. In Match were close to Zero as well and the only time I got someone to look at my profile was when I added a new photo, changed the look and that would move me closer to the beginning of a search. Unsolicited looks mean nothing.

There's something very Darwinian, very evolutionary psychology about online dating and that with all this new technology we have reverted to a more primitive form of connection that resembles more the dances of the early 20th century where the women would sit to the side and the men approached them and asked them to dance. So there's almost a universal law that goes as follow "Men pursue, women veto." There are of course, exceptions to this or any rule, but even when women want you, they want you to pursue them, they want and are turned on by the man making the approach, even though at the end they hold all the cards as to what the outcome is going to be.

So, you are not going to get anywhere if you sit there and wait for women to view you. You have to aggressively email the women you are interested, women you like, even if they may seem to be as others may say "out of your league."

I remember in the beginning I had to send 100 emails to get maybe, just maybe 3 responses and out of that, maybe, just maybe one date. That's a lot of rejection. But you can also look at it this way, that's about 3 dates a month. So it's not bad at all, and when you really, really get good at it, all you have to do is send 15 emails to connect to about 6 women, and end up with 3 dates A WEEK.

But you have to pursue and have the expectation that rejection is part of the process.


No, no, no. It's not *all* about attitude, but it is certainly one of several key elements. As I've said before, location is big, too.


I am going to disagree with Pig here. And to prove my point I am going do dissect someone, PIG. Hehehe.
Pig, if you took your debonair attitude, your long hair, the way you stare, and let's say we place you in preppy clothes, short parted hair to the side, a big goofy happy smile even though you look the same, your whole "Look" from your attitude and persona would be totally different and it would make you look just like the other 300 duffus that are on line. What works for you is that you dare to look and come across as Different. What I call "differentiate or die."

I do agree that location is important, but perhaps the bigger problem is that Halkings is a hybrid, not quite electric, not quite all gas. And perhaps locations like Atlanta or New York would work better for him than Tampa.
Perhaps what Halkings needs to do is create a character in a story that is his alter ego. Then as he develops the story, go out on character and act like the character. As he sees some successes, then look at elements of that character that he could give permission to be part of who he is. I'd bet you it will work.
 Witnesstomythoughts
Joined: 7/27/2015
Msg: 179
Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 8/6/2015 8:51:30 AM

a big goofy happy smile


Oh so THAT'S what I've been doing wrong all this time !



* starts preparing " I'm too sexy for my shirt " expressions to photograph in the near future
 ThePigIsHereForEternity
Joined: 7/19/2015
Msg: 180
Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 8/6/2015 9:22:19 AM


I am going to disagree with Pig here.


I'm not sure what you disagreed with, actually. Attitude and standing out definitely are important factors. I was just saying that's not all there is to it. There are other factors, location being another big one.


a big goofy happy smile




Oh so THAT'S what I've been doing wrong all this time !


haha, no. It works for you.

Me? I don't smile in pictures for one simple reason - I f*cking hate my dimples. Women tell me all the time they love my dimples, but I don't give a shit. I still hate them.
 Witnesstomythoughts
Joined: 7/27/2015
Msg: 181
Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 8/6/2015 9:30:58 AM

Oh so THAT'S what I've been doing wrong all this time !


haha, no. It works for you.


Thanks Pig, but I'm starting to think about the ol' definition of insanity ... you know, doing the same thing expecting a different result ?
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 182
view profile
History
Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 8/6/2015 10:08:25 AM


I'm not sure what you disagreed with, actually. Attitude and standing out definitely are important factors. I was just saying that's not all there is to it. There are other factors, location being another big one.



Location I think tops the other 2 that IG is promoting. IG views sound very close to the PUA manuscript, which isn't all wrong at all, but it should be mentioned that MOST top PUA's practice in the big global cities so they find their niche and they go for different types themselves. But in most places one will do GOOD by knowing what is "IN" with a large enough % of the targets( sounds cold right?) for the location and try to fit in.

Pig, if you took your debonair attitude, your long hair, the way you stare, and let's say we place you in preppy clothes, short parted hair to the side, a big goofy happy smile even though you look the same, your whole "Look" from your attitude and persona would be totally different and it would make you look just like the other 300 duffus that are on line. What works for you is that you dare to look and come across as Different. What I call "differentiate or die."


True, perhaps, but if he is in the right location he will appeal to those who want that type. Here models and strippers(they use to go for cops before they started snorting coke :( ) go for what we call "THE WALL ST" thing. But in Daytona, Something tells me they will go for something else( race car drivers?:P).

Differentiation is great , as long as you are SELLING what they want. Attitude is important as in YOU really need NOT to care much , as oppose to pretending not to care but at the same time playing the numbers!


Oh so THAT'S what I've been doing wrong all this time !


LOL, I don't know! (shrugs) The members who don't smile much will never know how many gals they lose because of it, it is Incalculable. Same can be said for the ones that do smile (certain EE countries as you probably know are more scornful at smiling men) .


starts preparing " I'm too sexy for my shirt " expressions to photograph in the near future

Women like musical men, so I have heard!

Next time a guy gets criticized for being shirtless he should break out and sing that tune!

Gal:why don't you have any pants on?
guy: I'm too sexy for my pants !Yeah baby, yeah!

P.S. I think IG is mad at me..he is sending me other peoples messages. :) lol
 MaleFeasance
Joined: 3/13/2015
Msg: 183
Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 8/6/2015 11:02:40 AM
attitude and persona would be totally different and it would make you look just like the other 300 duffus that are on line. What works for you is that you dare to look and come across as Different. What I call "differentiate or die."
------------
I'm not sure what you are disagreeing with. That was exactly his point and he is 100% correct.
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 184
Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 8/6/2015 11:27:06 AM

Oh so THAT'S what I've been doing wrong all this time !


haha, no. It works for you.


Thanks Pig, but I'm starting to think about the ol' definition of insanity ... you know, doing the same thing expecting a different result ?


I agree with Pig, the smile works for you. But not everyone has a perfect smile. I for one, look like a fvcking chipmunk when I smile.



P.S. I think IG is mad at me..he is sending me other peoples messages. :) lol


Wha? Of course I am not mad at you. I thought you didn't have access to the forums.



Location I think tops the other 2 that IG is promoting. IG views sound very close to the PUA manuscript, which isn't all wrong at all, but it should be mentioned that MOST top PUA's practice in the big global cities so they find their niche and they go for different types themselves.


Where I have the big problem with the PUA mentality is when you go out with a smart woman who has degrees, who is hot looking, who has heard all the b u ll s h it, and she is the first one that tells you that she can have players for lunch. The little lies do not work with such women. You can do a little banter, have fun, but the negging sh it is going to hit you in the face faster that you can say, Chimichurri.

Like NG said in a different threat what you learn is to tread this woman as an equal. That means you stop drooling, you stop putting her in a pedestal, you stop dancing around your language and you start treating her like you would one of your buddies. When you put her in that pedestal and become all ga-ga, most women discard you in a heart beat. But when they see a challenge, that we don't buy their "I am so hot" behavior, and realize that they too are going to have to invest some effort in you, then they want you.

I think I ended up putting the wrong quote on what I disagreed with Pig about. It was some reference he made to having a physical appearance. So yeah, in many ways we are talking the same thing. Toh meh too, toh mAhh toh.
 HawkingJr
Joined: 4/16/2007
Msg: 185
view profile
History
Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 8/6/2015 11:29:03 AM
I’m going to respond to Joe separately to break up this post. Damn it, back to that again!

Sig: “The last time I thought about race, height, or age was either when I was in 4th grade, or when I fell off my dinosaur.......... Can't remember which. I truly feel sorry for those who have such limited thinking and narrow vision.”

Yeah, I wouldn’t feel too sorry for those women – most seem to be doing fairly well on the site.

Pig: “yet I see short men with taller women almost every weekend I go out”

I see this rarely, but of course it happens, somewhere around 10% of the time (though usually it is a very tall woman and a slightly shorter man). But my main question here is, are you sure you are distinguishing between romantic couples and "just friends"? My best friend (who is essentially the same height barefoot but always in high heels) and I get accused of being a “couple” quite frequently when we’re out together, and sometimes it even happens with my second best friend, who is about 3 inches taller without heels. Actually, that usually surprises me because they are both WAAAAAAY out of my league and it’s not like they’re all over me or something. And yet, still, some random people think we are “together.”

IG: “Just for your information, my unsolicited views per week when I had an active profile, here were practically zero.”

I’ve been in a number of related threads with you (same show, different channel—“All in the Family!”), and in some of those you’ve admitted that even when you have a complete joke profile or one that strongly discourages women from contacting due to your relationship status, you still have get “annoyed” with frequent messages, because, as many have pointed out, either those people don’t read the profiles or they do but think they can convince you to date them anyway. So you’re obviously getting solicited views when your profile isn’t hidden, because you can’t get unwanted messages without unsolicited views (though some women may contact you in stealth mode, but that’s beside the point). You’re either not paying attention or you’re very forgetful.

Regardless, the number of unsolicited views a male gets is perhaps the most meaningful stat on the site as far as judging how interested women are in someone like him. If you’re getting a lot of views and no messages, then that means most women are actually looking for someone like you, but you have a terrible profile. If you’re getting lots of views and messages, that means women are looking for someone like you and you have not shot yourself in the foot with your profile. If you have almost no views, that means most women are not looking for someone like you.

Now you might argue: most women do not make first contact, regardless of attractiveness on either side. Doesn’t matter, because the number of unsolicited views is directly correlated to a man’s response rate – men who are getting very few unsolicited views are men that most women are not interested in, and those women aren’t going to respond just because these undesirable men initiated contact. But men with a high number of unsolicited views are the ones most women are interested in, and those women are much more likely to respond to such men contacting them.

The only way that correlation could prove false is if women will actually date men they find physically undesirable based on the men’s messages. I will let women answer that one, but I think this myth it is possible to talk a woman who finds you unattractive into dating you came about because it actually IS possible to talk a woman who finds you attractive OUT of dating you. This is not a reversible law.

“Sigh, you failed to comprehend the experiment… So using your height, your race, pictures of yourself in a different type of setting, can someone else with a fresh approach do much better than you?”

I don’t think I “failed to comprehend” – rather, I suggested the experiment was largely pointless based on the results of previous related experimentation – that is, that I end up with typical male results if the physical playing field is evened out, despite not changing my profile or messaging style.

This is not to say those same results could not be improved even more with IG-styled profiles and messaging. I tend to doubt it, but I’m not saying it’s impossible. But having him in charge of my profile (height increased or otherwise) would create another issue: not being the man the woman thinks I am. As Pig and KJ have pointed out, there is nothing detrimental about my real life personality, so why should I change it? And I would have to, in order to adopt IG’s online style. Yes, I understand you’re just talking about “experimenting,” but if IG were proven right, what good would that do me? I don’t have an aggressive, don’t-give-a-damn attitude in regards to women and never will, and there are a lot of women who like such men. And I’m actually quite a confident guy – after all, I’m 100% confident I’m going to win this debate and pretty much any other on this pathetic message board.
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 186
Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 8/6/2015 11:47:11 AM

And I’m actually quite a confident guy – after all, I’m 100% confident I’m going to win this debate and pretty much any other on this pathetic message board.


Now we're talking.

Several things. First, you are still stuck in the idea that unsolicited approaches by women is what defines the success of the man. Not at all. The success of the man is related to how many messages he sends women. How poignant his messages are in addressing something in the woman's profile that touches that nerve and she has to answer. You touch that nerve and you will have women respond almost 1 to 3 rations.



But having him in charge of my profile (height increased or otherwise) would create another issue: not being the man the woman thinks I am. As Pig and KJ have pointed out, there is nothing detrimental about my real life personality, so why should I change it?


One thing you learn from advertising and marketing is what is called "the truth, better told." So the goal is not to change you, or change your rhetoric, but it's finding the narrative within your story that creates an image of attraction in a woman's mind. The material is there. What you need to do is havest those stories to fabricate a version of you that doesn't come across as needy, negative, boring, loser, and so on and so forth. But also so they don't make you look at the other end as self centered, narcissistic, egotistical, selfish, angry. Most men, actually, because they have not weaved their story, when the talk to women, the chip that they have on their shoulder comes tumbling down and women see through this quite quickly. That is why for such experiment to work, it would require not that I put my story in your profile, but that YOUR story resonates within you, and within the narrative that you call your own life. So the moment that they meet you, the message will be the same, not some made up b u ll sh it.

Realize that within the same story, the glass can be half full or half empty. So how would you prefer to present the story? In a way that turns women off? Of in a way that they understand your plight, your passion, your desires and want more of that?

And one more thing. When I had active profiles I did not get a lot of unsolicited traction. When I had a profile that said, leave me the fvck alone, somehow more women came looking at it. Why is that the case. Beats me.
 HawkingJr
Joined: 4/16/2007
Msg: 187
view profile
History
Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 8/6/2015 11:59:36 AM
Joe: “Before you say height, realize that the MAJORITY of women who spontaneously view me unsolicited, and initiate a message due so out of seeing me in ‘online now’ section. They aren't doing a search, I know this as a fact. In fact. I will get messages almost only when I log into the main site to send pm's or read pm's from friends.”

This doesn’t necessarily mean they are using the “online now” feature. When you log-in, you are also moved to the top of the search engines; a woman who has just completed a search right after you log in will find you at the top of her search results. The only way you can know for certain how women are finding your profile is if they tell you (obvious exception: Meet Me).

Conversely, what then would be the logic behind me getting no unsolicited views since March if women are mostly using features that give them completely random results? If that were true, all men in similar-sized markets with decent main pics would get a similar number of views, instead of Clooney getting dozens a month and me getting 0. A typical male would have to be in some isolated area of northern Alaska to generate the kind of results I’ve had. If you’re in the dead middle of a metro with 4 million people and within 50 miles of some 25,000 active female POF users and no one is viewing your profile, then there is really only one possible conclusion to draw. (And, yes, my profile is unhidden.)

Now it’s possible women are using Matches, which has very limited search parameters, but POF is not randomly choosing Matches – so perhaps POF has stopped putting my profile in many women’s matches for whatever reason. (It is a fact that POF will not match a shorter man with a taller woman, so I’m automatically excluded from over 50% of women’s matches on that criteria alone, whether that’s what those women want or not. Like with the mandatory age limits, POF is being all paternal and protecting women against themselves.) Anyway, I am online enough that I should frequently appear in Online Now, so it is rather interesting that I get no views from even THAT feature... which would suggest women rarely ever use Online Now. Or, I am a seriously ugly individual with a really bad main pic.

Obviously, there are dozens of women in this thread who could answer this question without us having to speculate, but because they are mostly forum dwellers who have either given up on using POF for dating or they don’t actively search/contact because they get enough unsolicited messages to not have to, their responses are likely to be skewed in comparison to the typical female POF user. Plus there’s just the whole matter of, women here hate me so much that they will lie about their site use just to spite me.

Nevertheless, I will still put the question out there: how many of you women that are actively seeking dates on POF use POF’s search engines and what characteristics are you excluding if you are?

“That being said, getting a 3-5% is certainly doable if YOU can convert half to meetings!”

Understand, most of the responses I do get are from women I didn’t really want to date anyway. But I will tell you the story of “hitting the wall.”

During my most recent stint on eH (earlier this year), I contacted a reasonably attractive but not supermodel-ish woman whose interests were very similar to mine, including the rarely found filmmaking interest. We had a good dialogue going for a couple of weeks (the only response I got during that eH stint), so I tried to steer her toward a meeting. She disappeared. A couple weeks later, she reappeared and picked up as if the meeting offer never occurred. A couple weeks later I suggested a meeting, and she disappeared again. This went on for all 3 months of my membership. I told her my membership was ending and I wasn’t going to renew, and despite sending her my external email address and phone number, I never heard from her again.

So I started thinking back about how many dozens of times this pattern had repeated itself in my life, on eH, on Match, on POF, on OKC, on HON, etc. etc., etc. And how many other times I eventually met the woman and she was completely disinterested in me or me in her (because I never should have messaged her or responded to her message to begin with). Just round and round and round in circles, ending up in the same place every time: nowhere. So it doesn’t even matter if I do “convert.” I will end up with someone that I don’t want or that doesn’t want me. That is the only possible outcome – it has been the only possible outcome since the beginning of my existence, and I just no longer have the enthusiasm or delusion to pretend otherwise.

(I am referring entirely to online/personals here because of the way those systems are rigged against someone with my characteristics – I am doomed to failure on them at one level [messaging] or another [meeting]. All 3 women I have dated for any significant amount of time I met in real life situations and therefore don’t really qualify for this gloom-and-doom epiphany, but my real life dating maladies are a whole other, only semi-related discussion.)
 Moderate_Recall
Joined: 3/1/2015
Msg: 188
Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 8/6/2015 12:14:12 PM

so I tried to steer her toward a meeting. She disappeared. A couple weeks later, she reappeared and picked up as if the meeting offer never occurred. A couple weeks later I suggested a meeting, and she disappeared again. This went on for all 3 months of my membership. I told her my membership was ending and I wasn’t going to renew, and despite sending her my external email address and phone number, I never heard from her again.

So I started thinking back about how many dozens of times this pattern had repeated itself in my life, on eH, on Match, on POF, on OKC, on HON, etc. etc., etc. And how many other times I eventually met the woman and she was completely disinterested in me or me in her (because I never should have messaged her or responded to her message to begin with). Just round and round and round in circles, ending up in the same place every time: nowhere. So it doesn’t even matter if I do “convert.” I will end up with someone that I don’t want or that doesn’t want me. That is the only possible outcome – it has been the only possible outcome since the beginning of my existence, and I just no longer have the enthusiasm or delusion to pretend otherwise.

(I am referring entirely to online/personals here because of the way those systems are rigged against someone with my characteristics – I am doomed to failure on them at one level [messaging] or another [meeting]. All 3 women I have dated for any significant amount of time I met in real life situations and therefore don’t really qualify for this gloom-and-doom epiphany, but my real life dating maladies are a whole other, only semi-related discussion.)


(Wow, that's got to be one of the longest quotes I have ever made on here, but considering the source, maybe appropriate.)

FYI, there are paid fake people profiles on most of the pay OLD "dating sites, that will NEVER ever be able to actually meet anyone. They just keep stringing some along...

Since you have had some past success IRL, makes sense to spend your spare time there going out to ALL your local special interest social groups and making more friends every month. You WILL eventually find someone compatible out there. You may just have to lower your expectations a tad, as is usual IRL they do also.

Then the both of you may become stuck with each other, and last the usual year and a half to two years before the messy breakup and maybe TRO's...
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 189
view profile
History
Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 8/6/2015 12:19:26 PM

Like NG said in a different threat

Freudian slip? ;)

what you learn is to tread this woman as an equal. That means you stop drooling, you stop putting her in a pedestal, you stop dancing around your language and you start treating her like you would one of your buddies

Yeah. Guys don't tend to do that because of understandable intimidation when they're new to dating, lack successes, or engaging with a hottie. It's the same feeling as approaching a famous/semi-famous gal. One has to break out of that mindset. Society's long-running "you are to prove yourself to a lady" mindset that gets ingrained in our minds early in life prevents a guy from breaking out of that mold so easily -- especially when getting shot down again and again. Guys who consciously go Against that mindset are hissed at by enough gals overhearing it, it only antes-up the intimidation factor.

I see this rarely, but of course it happens, somewhere around 10% of the time (though usually it is a very tall woman and a slightly shorter man).

I agree. Although I hear in Florida, it's a lot more prevalent to see a guy shorter than the lady than here in the midwest. So at least know you're in a better area than others. But I'm not going to try and butter it up for ya Hawking -- you will have a lower batting %. You're frustrated/exhausted with the at-bats. And (ugh) the last thing you want to do is change your batting stance or something. You've been in the dating scene for Years! What veteran ball player changes his batting stance?? Well.... unlike real baseball, you're still in the league no matter what, and nobody retires. That's where the analogy is different -- so you should change your batting stance.

My best friend (who is essentially the same height barefoot but always in high heels) and I get accused of being a “couple” quite frequently when we’re out together, and sometimes it even happens with my second best friend, who is about 3 inches taller without heels.

That should be a clue. Thing is, ONLINE is different than RL. A short guy is going to struggle more, pound for pound, than IRL. But with online, it's easier to strike out -- takes less a toll. Whatever you do, don't just pal around your gal-pals when going out. Step forward to meet other gals -- ones they don't know, either. And don't look to Make Friends with ANY girls. You have enough already. Garnering Platonic interest isn't an "in-between", it's a nowhere. I get the vibe (could be wrong) that you're like a friend I had last decade, who was Content not getting girls because he didn't expect it. He actually felt some satisfaction (a 2nd/3rd place ribbon feeling) if he garnered a real cute gal's platonic interest. He didn't realize that was dragging him down.

you’ve admitted that even when you have a complete joke profile or one that strongly discourages women from contacting due to your relationship status, you still have get “annoyed” with frequent messages, because, as many have pointed out, either those people don’t read the profiles or they do but think they can convince you to date them anyway.

It's kind of like the "neg hit" concept, in the sense of a lot of hair flipping, but a surprisingly amount of bites. You'll get more "No way! NEXT! I love saying 'NEXT'! Love it!" going on in their heads when viewing your profile -- but against intuition, you'll get more initiated responses from gals. I had that too with my previous profile explaining my raccoon collection, along with my baby crickets -- any my stipulations for "First Date" involving making out at the drive-in. SHOCKINGLY girls were writing me, when I wrote that NOT to have girls write me (forum use only).

So take that as an example of: DON'T follow your intuition. :)

But men with a high number of unsolicited views are the ones most women are interested in, and those women are much more likely to respond to such men contacting them.

Well, a guy can do things with his primary photo & headline (not just stats) -- to garner unsolicited views. One could go out of their way to get more views, but having less interest than another guy. Just a side note. And also rifiling thru Meet Me, saying Yes to anything that's breathing (but that's kinda solicited). Changing your height though -- remember... those who Already viewed you likely are not going to show up again -- by the system or by their familiarity. If you made a NEW Profile with NEW pictures only at 6'0", you would get a lot more unsolicited views than you saw when just switching to 6 foot. So don't take your experiment to heart so quick yet. :)

Also: A lot of guys aren't going to get a boatload of unsolicited views in comparison to guys. Gals are getting bombarded. They're viewing who viewed them, wrote them, said Yes on Meet Me to. And there's tons of dudes, buried within tons of dudes. It's still not going to be the same as a hot gal, even though it will be significantly higher if you did the whole reboot like I mentioned above. It's not a uniform ratio of unsolicited-views/responses, is what I'm saying.
 ThePigIsHereForEternity
Joined: 7/19/2015
Msg: 190
Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 8/6/2015 12:56:58 PM

But my main question here is, are you sure you are distinguishing between romantic couples and "just friends"?


Yes. The short guy and taller woman engaging in public display of affection is what I notice, and funny enough, I hear more guys in the real world speak of not liking taller women than I do women not liking shorter men. I know a ton of women who are 5'8'' and over, and they are good looking, yet still harbor a bit of insecurity from when they were made fun of in school for being too tall.

Oh, and something you can try - I have no idea if it's just coincidence (but I'm inclined to think it's not), because I still don't really know the ins and outs of this site, but you could try creating another profile. Since making this one, my views and messages have gone through the roof.

And hell, show a sense of humor about your outlook with a username that reflects it. I'll even use some words that you used in your post.

DoomedToFailure

Now, I know people are going to say that's too negative, but it's memorable and I believe it will make them curious. I don't know what you would have to lose at this point.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 191
Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 8/6/2015 1:13:25 PM
Some people have mentioned they see plenty of shorter men with tall women when they go out. While that may be true, height is more important online. Offline, a woman is probably more likely to overlook height because she likes his overall package and/or she may get to know him over time. Online, it's often about your pictures and "stats" ( which includes height and other things ) first. Having said that, being short doesn't mean a man can't get dates online. He often has a smaller potential dating pool to work with. Likewise, being tall doesn't guarantee a man will get many dates online. In particular when he has poor photos or profile.
 Blackwood85
Joined: 5/20/2013
Msg: 192
view profile
History
Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 8/6/2015 2:07:51 PM


Damn it Blackwood, yo da man. And I agree 100 percent with you.

If I would not get kicked out of this place I would go in Halkings profile, fix it up a little. Then go hunting.
But first, get rid of all the photos with a silly smile. ALL OF THEM. Second, put some photos of him working on a production, being a director, or doing the sh it and being the boss producer. Third, learn from the very drama that he works on and have a couple of mysterious photos posters in Chiaroscuro, very dramatic. I would talk about the passion of creating meaningful characters for a movie. What it feels to see an idea in your head, nebulous and then have it paper, then convey that to the actors, to the awesome experience to see someone in an audience cry like a baby at that dramatic moment.


Exactly, I have a bit of a smart ass sense of humor and I wanted to convey that somehow, so I decided to post an link to the comic strip "Achewood" which would also explain my username. I'm not sure if any chicks are actually looking at that but I don't care. My profile reads like it's a resume and I'm changing that up some, I want to show a bit more of my creative side and humor. It's about evolving and looking at way to improve without actually changing myself.
 Peas_
Joined: 5/2/2015
Msg: 193
Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 8/6/2015 3:06:21 PM
omgosh. Whiners.

https://encrypted.google.com/#q=short+people+dating
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 194
view profile
History
Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 8/6/2015 3:40:13 PM

InnerGorilla
I remember in the beginning I had to send 100 emails to get maybe, just maybe 3 responses and out of that, maybe, just maybe one date. That's a lot of rejection. But you can also look at it this way, that's about 3 dates a month. So it's not bad at all, and when you really, really get good at it, all you have to do is send 15 emails to connect to about 6 women, and end up with 3 dates A WEEK.

That seems about typical to me. My initial experiences were actually worse. It took me around 2 months to get my first response, which was basically, “Drop dead, Fred”. (smile)

One of the things I have learned is to not look so hard for a hook. I discovered that if a woman mentioned something specific in her profile, and I had some knowledge of that area, I could 9 times out of 10 engage her in a conversation. But that almost never worked out, wound up being a waste of time. Much better (for me, anyway) to just send a bland boring message, and if she responded, it was because she thought she might actually want to date me.



But first, get rid of all the photos with a silly smile. ALL OF THEM. Second, put some photos of him working on a production, being a director, or doing the sh it and being the boss producer. Third, learn from the very drama that he works on and have a couple of mysterious photos posters in Chiaroscuro, very dramatic. I would talk about the passion of creating meaningful characters for a movie. What it feels to see an idea in your head, nebulous and then have it paper, then convey that to the actors, to the awesome experience to see someone in an audience cry like a baby at that dramatic moment.

I have to agree with this. I have often thought that Hawkings line of work should be a real babe magnet. And I’ll be damned if I wouldn’t use it for all it’s worth!

And why in the H-E-double-L is everyone saying “Halking” anyway? Did I miss something?
 Blackwood85
Joined: 5/20/2013
Msg: 195
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Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 8/6/2015 3:51:42 PM

omgosh. Whiners.

https://encrypted.google.com/#q=short+people+dating


We've moved on from that a long time ago, you're behind right now.
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 196
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Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 8/6/2015 4:06:04 PM
I will respond Hawking just a bit busy and need to digest everything.

But I must commend the truth of below:

One of the things I have learned is to not look so hard for a hook. I discovered that if a woman mentioned something specific in her profile, and I had some knowledge of that area, I could 9 times out of 10 engage her in a conversation. But that almost never worked out, wound up being a waste of time. Much better (for me, anyway) to just send a bland boring message, and if she responded, it was because she thought she might actually want to date me.


That is what I learned pretty quick. Being too clever, funny, insightful , etc, can result in a lot of time wasting with those dreaded time vampires, because of increased responses from the non interested/unsure. I came to the conclusion that the initial message should be clever, but a bit canned and non committed. Most that respond (some will say "that is all you going to tell me?" or "do you say that to all the women? lol") are generally going to be INTO YOU, and have a basic attraction, or I should say perception of attraction, since you haven't met IRL yet. IMHO much more productive to favorable outcomes.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 197
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Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 8/6/2015 4:13:00 PM

I hear more guys in the real world speak of not liking taller women than I do women not liking shorter men.

I have to disagree with this. "She was this real tall blonde haired gal...." vs "He was this real short blond haired guy". I think most guys don't prefer she's taller than him when it comes to Dating -- because he'd be walking next to her being taller than he is, feeling short when he's not used to that, sure. But it doesn't play a role in her Attractiveness in his eyes. He'll still find her attractive and happily take her home and shag her when she's real tall + real cute. In fact, quite the conquest for him. For gals, the only thing shared there is walking off into the sunset with that height differential (but usually stronger turnoff). And with women, he doesn't have to be noticeably shorter than her. That's a virtual killer, but being shorter than the other guys in the room is usually what's holding it back anyway.

I know a ton of women who are 5'8'' and over, and they are good looking, yet still harbor a bit of insecurity from when they were made fun of in school for being too tall.

Yeah, that Is something to remember. That can help a guy not being tallER than her have some confidence, as she's not going to expect a height differential as much as a 5'4" gal. But if said tall gal's with a 5'4" guy -- it's only going to exacerbate her insecurity.

you could try creating another profile. Since making this one, my views and messages have gone through the roof.

Yes. I pointed that out in my last dissertation. ;) Him changing his height to 6'0" and not seeing a Huge jump was because it was still his same profile that many gals have already recognized and the system not making any adjustments either. Wasn't a true test by him.

Some people have mentioned they see plenty of shorter men with tall women when they go out.

Seeing a shorter dude with a taller woman sticks out more in our memory (because it's incredibly low, statistically). We're not doing an actual count, but from our memories it gives us the feeling that it's statistically higher than it is. If we were to count guy-girl walking up and down the street, it'd be astronomically low. We're used to seeing the guy a little taller than she. So it will feel like "plenty" when it's not, as it pops up on the radar and sticks in our minds. And we have to make sure they ARE a couple and not just friends (but you can take me out on a play-date). But with all that said, YES, it does happen!

Especially when it's him in shoes (0.5"-1" extra) and a 5'0" gal in 3" heels -- or a 5'3" gal in mere sandals -- he doesn't even have to be shorter than she. Still an uphill battle (no pun intended)... but that's why I think Hawking needs to take a breather (which he claims he did), and change his style/technique and do something Different. Not the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result!

height is more important online. Offline, a woman is probably more likely to overlook height because she likes his overall package and/or she may get to know him over time.

Yes. A short guy should NOT rely on online. It should be seen as a small dessert, not the main course -- otherwise, his ego's going to take a real hit. However, I'm sure Hawking's package is good (hey, he could show the gals online! lol), I will say that IRL, very Few gals are going to get to know him over time. Most as just passing thru. Ones he does -- well, he's friend-zoned, so he'd need to fix that part first, because that's worse than being shorter-than-Id-like. That's "Let me be your straight gay friend... who's just as fun to be around, and only lacking in the sense of decor & fashion advice."

It's that online is more an Exaggerated problem, and IRL lacks that exaggeration. Online it's a filter; a visualization -- especially with many guys fibbing about their height. And what Hawking can do is work out in the weights intensely for a good while to broaden his shoulders. That's Key to counteracting the height differential to other guys in the room.

But I agree... when a gal Does get to know a guy, like say, thru a social group while he's not friend-zoning himself -- the height thing matters the Least. THAT is where you see the by-products of girl-taller-than-guy-in-her-heels, or him being one of the shorter guys in the room with a cute gal. RARELY, if ever, will you hear "Oh, we just met off POF. He's not a sugar daddy, he makes about as much as I do. We're on our 3rd date and hitting it off!"
 dragonbytes
Joined: 12/25/2014
Msg: 198
Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 8/6/2015 4:31:02 PM

omgosh. Whiners.

https://encrypted.google.com/#q=short+people+dating


Peas, I took a look at your link, and saw "short passions" dating website. Which must mean dating for short people, BUT What was weird is the first five men I clicked on were all 5.9-6.1???

http://www.shortpassions.com/decommunity/index.html

Then the sixth guy was short.

An axseual 57 year old man with no shirt who is 5.0 tall, weights 140 lbs and is a shy loner who besides being a superhero sidekick is also a nudist. He earns less than $25,000 and is open to having kids, though here is a surprise, he lives alone.

Then I clicck on a female profile, 000 lb woman about 2015 years old 4.11 woman into Tall Guys. No weight or age, but I am guessing BBW and about 40 years old.

Maybe if I was into the very strange side of dating I would have given it a try, but I have been there done strange in my 20-30s.

And within 10 mileo of my zip code, there were only 3 profiles, within 50 miles, which includes all of Chicago, a total of 24 women.

They should bury that website.
 ThePigIsHereForEternity
Joined: 7/19/2015
Msg: 199
Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 8/6/2015 5:01:06 PM


I hear more guys in the real world speak of not liking taller women than I do women not liking shorter men.




I have to disagree with this.


This isn't something you can disagree with. It's based on the people I've spoken to and know personally. I very rarely hear the women I know mention any sort of height requirement, but many of my male friends do, even the ones who aren't short. They want the short/petite women.

The simple fact is they want to feel like the big, protective ogre when they're with a woman, and the closer the woman is to his own height, the less he feels that way. I find that stupid, but oh well, it's my issue to deal with.

Remember the pro volleyball player Gabrielle Reece? She's 6'3''. I don't care if he's 4'11'', 5'11'', or 6'11'', any guy who would turn THAT down is a f*cking idiot.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 200
Profile errors, height, values, and the kitchen sink.
Posted: 8/6/2015 5:01:29 PM
Short guy issues not much different than tall women issues
Makes me mental when someone asks " how tall are you?" in RT
I reply and get " you don't look that Tall"
as if it is a curse
I dont ask people how fat/bald/poor they are
I know from that Q how effing stupid they are
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