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 sealady111
Joined: 5/31/2015
Msg: 202
Has anyone decided to opt out of dating all together [over 40]Page 10 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
Henry and others...

Perhaps my response to sex prior to a committed relationship needs clarification.

To properly commit to someone and be sexually exclusive and consider each other a partner I certainly would want to ensure we are sexually compatible. Try before you buy????
This does not mean however that I will make my body available to any man, at any time to relive his 'blue balls'.

In line with this to me intimacy is mental, emotional and physical.


Jaded?
OK I am not jaded as by definition someone no longer appreciates something they have.
e.g. Not knowing what you have got till it's gone.

I am certainly fed up with horrendous messages and lack of respect of personal boundaries that is endemic in OLD and becoming moreso in real life as well. Especially in bars under the influence of mind altering drugs.


Your stock is highest at x-age with no kids, no previous marriages, no STI's, no criminal record, and a decent work history.


^^^^ I am currently all of that - except I was previously married once.
For me, and many women, the problem is the value of x.
I refer back to my answer above.
 halcyon_skies
Joined: 7/27/2015
Msg: 204
Has anyone decided to opt out of dating all together [over 40]
Posted: 7/31/2015 12:20:14 AM

Dinner in a nice restaurant, drinks.

PS: Olive Garden is NOT a nice restaurant!


Although I'd never be crass enough to put that in my profile, I have to agree that Olive Garden isn't a nice restaurant. I'll never set foot in an Olive Garden again after a bad experience with my lasagna being frozen in the middle.
 tangofish
Joined: 6/16/2015
Msg: 205
view profile
History
Has anyone decided to opt out of dating all together [over 40]
Posted: 7/31/2015 2:34:17 AM

apparently I can do it myself, without your wallet or your demands for sex.


That's cool, I'm not going to demand it... But when you can get around to it, we should have sex.
 ThePigIsHereForEternity
Joined: 7/19/2015
Msg: 206
Has anyone decided to opt out of dating all together [over 40]
Posted: 7/31/2015 3:31:20 AM


Although I'd never be crass enough to put that in my profile, I have to agree that Olive Garden isn't a nice restaurant. I'll never set foot in an Olive Garden again after a bad experience with my lasagna being frozen in the middle.


You probably pissed someone off, and like the adage goes - "revenge is a dish best served cold".
 BLonde^J^AngeL
Joined: 6/16/2015
Msg: 207
Has anyone decided to opt out of dating all together [over 40]
Posted: 7/31/2015 3:54:43 AM

As years wane on, that all changes and marketability starts to take a nose dive...gradual at first, but then falling off a cliff later on in life.

Artificial bumps can be achieved, of course. Things to buoy your marketability at least somewhat. Money. Men use money to get status (that's about all money can buy for a man), which will affect their marketability and stabilize it or artificially bump it a tad. Women use money to cheat time...facelifts, tummy tucks, botox, extensions, fake boobs, fake this and that and everything else, nose jobs, labiaplasty, and so on and so on, again used as a means to artificially bump their marketability a tad or at least stabilize it.

Sadly though, people still try to convince themselves that this phenomenon does not exist...


may sound mean, but it is true :0(
 CynthiaSM
Joined: 3/29/2014
Msg: 208
Has anyone decided to opt out of dating all together [over 40]
Posted: 7/31/2015 6:42:03 AM

As this isn't the 'Sex & Dating Forum', I was using a common euphemism..... Used by both Genders on this & other Forums..... I didn't think I needed to be Crude...
Let Me rephrase it, then....

"The real person doesn't show up, till after the Clothes have come off"....

Ummm, I got it. You didn't. Go back and read again.

I wasn't being mean; I took your definition of intimate and contrasted it with others' definition to explain people were talking apples and oranges.

Peace out.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 209
Has anyone decided to opt out of dating all together [over 40]
Posted: 7/31/2015 7:10:26 AM
SOME people trade sex--or money--to get love. I suspect my first gf was like that. But, many of us might not hang out with such a friend, so we don't see much of this in the people we know well.

some people move soon into the sex phase of a relationship b/c...it didn't take long to go right thru the "get to know you" phase. there just wasn't a lot of "you" to get to know. they're average. they offer what other people do, and in the same amounts. so, its time to have sex...otherwise its another dinner at olive garden and a movie.

i'll concur sealady's point about being a sensual person--you want what you want in your life. you miss when its not there. just like someone who enjoys cooking wants to an opportunity to cook, but someone who is willing to eat at olive garden every night...doesn't fear moving into a new apartment with a tiny kitchen and no garden. they don't mind opting out of cooking.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 6/22/2012
Msg: 210
Has anyone decided to opt out of dating all together [over 40]
Posted: 7/31/2015 7:25:19 AM

I'll never set foot in an Olive Garden again after a bad experience with my lasagna being frozen in the middle.

Not to poke too much fun at this one unpleasant experience, but I think it's pathetic how often people cry "never again".

How many hundreds of meals are made and served from that kitchen without a single problem? How many have you already consumed from that very restaurant that were palatable or even pretty darn good? How many millions of people get served from that nationwide chain DAILY without incident?
---------------------------
BTW: I don't like Olive Garden as a date because for the most part there is no chance at intimacy - people are packed in with little privacy and there's almost always a large party group nearby that's quite noisy. Being there by ourselves at or near closing time when the place is empty is actually pretty darn cool.
---------------------------
It's not just bad eating that makes "Never again" sound pathetic. This forum is sprinkled with ten thousand stories of bad dates and people bound and determined to never let 'that' happen again - so they categorize the problem, label an identifier on it, and put in on a shelf with a big red flag. The part that is pathetic is the fact people rarely even test their 'labeling' to see if they identified it correctly. Running away from that red flag every time doesn't prove you know that was the problem. 'Never' is forever - don't you think you should make damn sure you KNOW what the true source of the problem really is?!?

What if you later find out the problem wasn't Olive Garden at all, but a crappy cook - who's now working at a new place - and making your dinner at this very moment?
 halcyon_skies
Joined: 7/27/2015
Msg: 213
Has anyone decided to opt out of dating all together [over 40]
Posted: 7/31/2015 8:25:57 AM

I have been unfortunate enough to have eaten at Olive Garden many times. To me it's a horrible place. I've only gone there, because some family member that came to town wanted to eat close to the Mall and something they knew. Every single time I've been there they managed to completely ruin the dish that I ordered. I also happen to hate Maggianos.
And don't get me wrong. I love good New York Italian food, and I love good REAL Italian food.

As far as dates are concerned, I would never ever take a date to a place like Olive Garden or any of the national chain restaurants. Well, there's one that I do like and it's called Brio's. But they only have one in Atlanta and they are about 300 times better than an Olive Garden.


I used to live in Atlanta, and I agree with you about Olive Garden. It's terrible. I like Brio, as well. I had no idea it was a chain restaurant. Normally, I tend to avoid national chains---my experience is that they don't tend to be as good as the privately-owned restaurants.
 BLonde^J^AngeL
Joined: 6/16/2015
Msg: 214
Has anyone decided to opt out of dating all together [over 40]
Posted: 7/31/2015 8:34:01 AM

Not to poke too much fun at this one unpleasant experience, but I think it's pathetic how often people cry "never again".

How many hundreds of meals are made and served from that kitchen without a single problem? How many have you already consumed from that very restaurant that were palatable or even pretty darn good? How many millions of people get served from that nationwide chain DAILY without incident?


Things can go awry at any establishment, even The Russian Tea Room!


It's not just bad eating that makes "Never again" sound pathetic. This forum is sprinkled with ten thousand stories of bad dates and people bound and determined to never let 'that' happen again - so they categorize the problem, label an identifier on it, and put in on a shelf with a big red flag. The part that is pathetic is the fact people rarely even test their 'labeling' to see if they identified it correctly. Running away from that red flag every time doesn't prove you know that was the problem. 'Never' is forever - don't you think you should make damn sure you KNOW what the true source of the problem really is?!?

What if you later find out the problem wasn't Olive Garden at all, but a crappy cook - who's now working at a new place - and making your dinner at this very moment?


A good point.

I'm vacationing in the south next week w/ my partner, who has already picked out a romantic little privately owned restaurant for us for one of our dinners. The shared experience trumps the meal IMO, altho a good meal doesn't hurt.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 215
Has anyone decided to opt out of dating all together [over 40]
Posted: 7/31/2015 9:25:12 AM

I have been unfortunate enough to have eaten at Olive Garden many times. To me it's a horrible place. I've only gone there, because some family member that came to town wanted to eat close to the Mall and something they knew.


So that family member or members who chose to eat there have eaten at Olive Garden in the past and saw no problem going back to an Olive Garden. Were you the only one who found it disgusting? You could have suggested another place that you consider has better food, even if it's not as convenient location wise, and even hint that you're not a fan of OG.

As far as those people who are against going to a meet-and-greet/date at a chain restaurant such as Olive Garden, or wherever, I don't really see a problem. If I'm arranging to meet someone and suggest a place and time, and the person doesn't like the place I suggested, I have no problem going somewhere else. Both people should be flexible to change. If someone feels insulted in some way because of a suggested place, that's someone I have no interest in meeting.
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 216
view profile
History
Has anyone decided to opt out of dating all together [over 40]
Posted: 7/31/2015 10:50:37 AM

And don't get me wrong. I love good New York Italian food,


Just as long as you don't see what is crawling around the kitchen!
 CrookCatcher
Joined: 7/14/2014
Msg: 219
Has anyone decided to opt out of dating all together [over 40]
Posted: 7/31/2015 11:51:57 AM

Just as long as you don't see what is crawling around the kitchen!


You got that right! Or what goes on back there.

One morning about 2am responded to a burglary at a well known mexican restaurant, processing the safe I look over and notice this 10 gallon pot sitting on the floor and walk over and it's about 3/4 full of salsa sauce, on the counter next to the bucket are about 20 small bowls they serve the salsa in and they're all stained and dirty from the remnants of salsa sauce and not even close to the sink. I wondered if they brought the partially eaten bowls and poured it back in that pot? Hmm. I can't say I never ate there after that but I never ate the salsa again.
 dragonbytes
Joined: 12/25/2014
Msg: 221
Has anyone decided to opt out of dating all together [over 40]
Posted: 7/31/2015 2:40:41 PM
Halcyon, nice to see you back again , I often enjoyed your acerbic style of posting. You always put up a spirited debate.

I have never visited Olive Garden, 12 years ago I heard negative things about it, so I avoided it. I realize I might like it, but there are 1000s of restaurants in the area, I haven't nearly exhausted the list.

Been to Maggianos a couple of time, IMO it was expensive for Italian food that didn't impress me.

I don't always avoid chains, I think they offer a good middle of the road dinning experience. They are seldom the best and rarely the worst. While individual places can be the best or worst of places. A chain I liked is Houston's Restaurant, IMO they have excellent ribs.

Sweet_Danimal, while it's quite true that a one off bad experience shouldn't be cause for people to say "never again", it also makes sense. When you have a choice of 1000s of people, restaurants, whatever made you say never again, then losing out on a good experience isn't a big deal when there many other good experiences to choose from.

I typically only go places and select foods I find difficult to impossible to cook at home, and once I have a favorite dish at a particular venue, I always order the same thing. If I want something different, I go to a different place.

When I was a teen I did work in a local hamburger joint. Never for get the owner Mel telling me, if I drop a hot dog on the floor, just wash it off, and if I cut myself just wash the blood off the food. Not a chain restaurant.

Unless I go to a place selected by someone other than myself, then who knows. My wife likes buffets like Golden Corral, I think buffets are usually below middle of the road for food, but I have had buffets that cost $75 (without drinks) each and were very high end.

It's seldom a good idea to visit a slaughter house or work in a restaurant kitchen, I prefer to think my food was spontaneously created in an antiseptic Star Trek food replicator.
 sealady111
Joined: 5/31/2015
Msg: 222
Has anyone decided to opt out of dating all together [over 40]
Posted: 7/31/2015 5:53:33 PM
Clooney....

If a woman cooks for you does that balance out the excessive toilet paper use?


Actually at my most recent MeetUp I was chatting with a nice man and had an urgent need to use the lavatory.
Apparently, to him, I had taken too long, so he sent another woman in to check I was OK and still there.
I said to him on my return, I am a woman, we take our time. lol


________________________________________
My initial training is as a Food Scientist and whilst at Uni we went to many food processing plants.
There are certain foods I still cannot eat.

e.g.
Processed cheese (I now use it exclusively to give dogs tablets)
McDonalds orange juice (Imported as a concentrate from overseas in 44gallon drums then Aussie water is added.)
Meat Pies or sausage rolls (Unless from a trusted bakery.)
Nuggets (Although I have since been to a factory that makes KFC nuggets and there really is chicken inside.
Anything direct from a can or other container where I cannot see the contents. e.g. I drink beer/ soft drink from a glass bottle or if from a can decant into a clear glass first.

Some people became instant vegetarians after visiting an abattoir. And yes - working in a commercial kitchen can turn many people off many things.


I much prefer eating at cafes where the kitchen is visible or at least partly visible.
In some Asian countries I would only eat street food if I watched it being cooked or fruit / veggies that I could peel myself.


Star Trek food replicator.................. yes please
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 223
view profile
History
Has anyone decided to opt out of dating all together [over 40]
Posted: 7/31/2015 5:57:49 PM
Innergorilla

"Don't you talk down about rats. They are now being trained as mine sniffers and are doing a ton of good"
I love it!!. However shame they cant put ccockroaches to better use...

As for the fuss about where to eat on a first meet, just don't do it. Drinks only and then see....Simple.
A woman who wont meet you unless there is a meal involved, you can pass on.

I prefer to eat where I can't see the kitchen or hear the crashing and banging noises that issue forth from there. If I wanted to stare into a kitchen, I could eat at home.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 6/22/2012
Msg: 225
Has anyone decided to opt out of dating all together [over 40]
Posted: 7/31/2015 6:11:03 PM
I have a gluten sensitivity, so I can't eat about 75% of what is on the menu at Olive Garden or any other pasta joint without getting three-alarm heartburn that lasts for days. I hear people cry and whine about how 'horrible' gluten-free pasta is. I seriously wonder how many have actually tried the stuff. It's different, but it's f'n pasta - it's the stuff you put 'on' it or 'in' it is what makes the dish. People get wound up over so many things that are not BAD - they are just DIFFERENT - but that's where fear kicks in, and refuses to allow people to admit they really don't know.

I'm not an advocate for Olive Garden - heck, I don't even think I've eaten there is the last five years or so. What I'm talking about is a metaphor for far more than just pasta. One failure means the chance of success is less than 99 percent, so people look elsewhere - ALL the damn time. I even put it in my profile that I believe it takes a 2nd or even a 3rd date to really know somebody and make a wiser choice about a relationship, but people in here are f'king cowards and would rather run for a bajllion 'better' choices than try to make the best with what they have been offered. The stupid part is that you seriously do NOT have ANY idea the first time you walk into a new place if the outcome will be better, you just THINK it will because you are not risking what you 'know' could be bad. Some Mom N Pop shop may have the best damn reputation for an awesome dinner within 50 miles, but if Mom has the flu, you may get a lot more than just pink sauce on your Mostaccioli.

For the record, if I was by myself and served lasagna that was cold in the middle, I'd probably eat around the cold stuff completely before I said ONE WORD to the server. I've been powdered milk poor. I've been in situations where there just isn't a lot of options, and I'm damn grateful for the opportunity to have ANY meal served to me.

I avoid obviously crappy potential dates just like anyone else in here, but I'm not in the habit or running away for 'better', because I simply don't get that many opportunities. One bad experience with a date doesn't mean every date that's similar will be the same. It doesn't even mean a second or third date with the same person could not be monumentally better. BUT people are unbelievably vain and arrogant and cowardly because online availability makes them think they CAN. It's stupid, impatient thinking, and people need to realize a real relationship isn't about playing this online video game and hitting 'reset' every single time something goes wrong. It's about real life - dealing with what you have and what you have been offered - and making the best of it.
 sealady111
Joined: 5/31/2015
Msg: 226
Has anyone decided to opt out of dating all together [over 40]
Posted: 7/31/2015 6:16:07 PM
OK Clooney...


I am on my way.
Will leave the incontinent relatives at home.


You really are 'crushable' SWOON
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 227
Has anyone decided to opt out of dating all together [over 40]
Posted: 7/31/2015 6:57:15 PM

People get wound up over so many things that are not BAD


Indeed.

Like any doctor has ever listed "donuts" as a cause of death on a death certificate.
 JoeBnD
Joined: 3/23/2012
Msg: 228
Has anyone decided to opt out of dating all together [over 40]
Posted: 7/31/2015 7:40:22 PM
I am not dead yet.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 230
Has anyone decided to opt out of dating all together [over 40]
Posted: 8/2/2015 9:20:34 AM

I used to live in Atlanta, and I agree with you about Olive Garden. It's terrible. I like Brio, as well. I had no idea it was a chain restaurant. Normally, I tend to avoid national chains---my experience is that they don't tend to be as good as the privately-owned restaurants.

I am in Atlanta now. I don't particularly enjoy the Olive Gardens in this area, but I'm hard pressed to find a whole lot of good Italian food in this area anyway. When I was up north in New England there were two Olive Gardens that weren't bad at all - but I suspect they have to stay on top of their product and service because they compete with so many genuinely GOOD Italian places in the area - some a couple blocks away. I totally believe it's not just about the overall menu of the chain but the cooks, suppliers, water supply, staff, etc in that region...

I won't take points away from someone with that suggestion - I might counter suggest a place that is owned by someone who came from the place where I like to eat whatever it is I am enjoying - preferably New York, NJ, Boston...and I prefer privately owned places anyway so I'm all for trying the ones around here that are locally owned to collect some new favorites.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 231
Has anyone decided to opt out of dating all together [over 40]
Posted: 8/2/2015 10:07:28 AM
I don't think you can make a blanket statement that all chain restaurants are crap and all privately owned are golden. Both run the full range from totally crappy to excellent. You are just as likely to get diarrhea or food poisoning in either one. The trick is to try different places, and stick to places you like.
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 232
view profile
History
Has anyone decided to opt out of dating all together [over 40]
Posted: 8/2/2015 10:08:57 AM
^^I like Applebees Riblets! There I said it!
 HalftimeDad
Joined: 5/29/2005
Msg: 234
Has anyone decided to opt out of dating all together [over 40]
Posted: 8/2/2015 12:37:27 PM
I don't know.

I've never had the desire to sleep with most women my age. Didn't want to when I was 20, don't want to in my 50's. But I used to worry that I wouldn't find any women my age desirable when I got old (like now). Turns out that I find the same portion of the female population my age desirable as I did in my 20's.
 6146Catch
Joined: 7/1/2015
Msg: 237
Has anyone decided to opt out of dating all together [over 40]
Posted: 8/6/2015 7:27:29 PM
Yep. Infamously.
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