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Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > She went on a date and spread it all over Facebook      Home login  
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 Eric_Summit
Joined: 11/3/2009
Msg: 26
She went on a date and spread it all over FacebookPage 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)

Posted by KJ521:
"...And what's up with posting this in the broken hearts forum?
You like drama, don'tcha? ;)..."

You're not kidding, KJ521.
If one is in his early-30s and feeling heartbroken over a complete stranger...online dating might be a challenging path.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 27
She went on a date and spread it all over Facebook
Posted: 7/13/2015 3:32:45 PM
So much for the repeating of " no drama" Jealous/broken hearted over someone you never met? I agree with Eric.. you going to be in for a buttload of hurt.
 rcp83
Joined: 6/17/2015
Msg: 28
She went on a date and spread it all over Facebook
Posted: 7/13/2015 7:54:21 PM
It's kinda funny, I started with this site when I was 22 (2005) and apparently dating isn't one of my best attributes. I make mistakes and hear about it forever. Yes, I'm not perfect, but I do make mistakes. Posting about this was a big mistakes that got me a lot bad feedback. How do you think I feel sitting here scrolling down this page? Do I feel happy? No, I feel horrible now.
 motowncowgirl
Joined: 3/24/2015
Msg: 29
She went on a date and spread it all over Facebook
Posted: 7/14/2015 5:18:49 AM
stop pouting.

in 3 days nobody will remember this thread. maybe girl you're writing about doesn't remember you either. why would she? she never met you and has lots of other things going on. so just let it go already. Tuesday: another day in which to excel. find something to be happy about or good at and just do it. it's not that hard. then let the day go and be happy and excellent again on Wednesday, rinse & repeat. why is that important, because doors will start opening for you. and also, you can be happy and excellent or learning something new while you're waiting.

wringing your hands over someone you never met and who isn't going to date you is not going to open ANY doors for you, simple. and nobody here is going to pat you on the head for making mountains out of molehills.
 Eric_Summit
Joined: 11/3/2009
Msg: 30
She went on a date and spread it all over Facebook
Posted: 7/14/2015 6:35:29 AM
RCP83...your alternate path is to address the situation squarely, assertively, and clearly:

Proposed telephone script:
"...Hi TennisGirl123, it's me, RCP83. It has been very fun exchanging notes and reading your posts.
How does your calendar look to meet at McMahon's Pub this upcoming Thursday at 7:30 pm?
Their food and beverages are terrific and they have live music, too..."
 gcdeb
Joined: 4/1/2015
Msg: 31
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History
She went on a date and spread it all over Facebook
Posted: 7/14/2015 6:44:32 AM
rcp... internet forum posts almost universally attract negative comments. They also attract the harsh truth. Sift out the negative comments and take on board the advice.

Never ever add people on facebook until they have an actual relationship with you. That is not after one date even, let alone never having met.

The thing is, if you move from here to facebook, you've just edged yourself into the friendzone and you have to start again to get into the dating zone.

The correct process if you find each other here is: a few messages, exchange phone numbers and call (optional), arrange a time to meet (best if this is within 2 weeks tops from when you first communicate).
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 32
She went on a date and spread it all over Facebook
Posted: 7/14/2015 6:50:50 AM

It's kinda funny, I started with this site when I was 22 (2005) and apparently dating isn't one of my best attributes. I make mistakes and hear about it forever. Yes, I'm not perfect, but I do make mistakes. Posting about this was a big mistakes that got me a lot bad feedback. How do you think I feel sitting here scrolling down this page? Do I feel happy? No, I feel horrible now.


Poor baby. Why do you feel horrible? I tell you. Because you came here not for other ideas but for validation. You wanted some anonymous person with a ridiculous nom de guerre to validate whatever stupid thing that you did. Instead, what you should do is realize that dating is about continuously making mistakes until something different sticks. Pain and mistakes and failure can achieve two things, one, bring you down into misery, or change. True change most of the time happens because of Pain.

Embrace it, grow from it.
 Eric_Summit
Joined: 11/3/2009
Msg: 33
She went on a date and spread it all over Facebook
Posted: 7/14/2015 7:55:01 AM

Posted by gcdeb:
"...The thing is, if you move from here to facebook, you've just edged yourself into the friendzone and you have to start again to get into the dating zone..."

RCP83, you will definitely wish to heed gcdeb's wise advice here.
Every step in the process should be towards meeting LIVE to see if a connection exists.
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 34
She went on a date and spread it all over Facebook
Posted: 7/14/2015 8:45:25 AM

Never ever add people on facebook until they have an actual relationship with you. That is not after one date even, let alone never having met.


I think this is where many guys that pretend to have balls, that pretend to lead in the dating process cave in and prove to be have no back bone. Usually the girl, woman, lady asks you if you have a Facebook account. To which you answer Yes. Then she asks you if you could become "Friends." This is where the guys says something and sticks to his guns regardless. He answers "No. I use Facebook only for friends and family, not dating. So the answer is no. If we evolve into a relationship, then we can talk about his again. But be aware, even though I have deleted my Ex's from it, I can't delete what my friends may have posted."
They may say, "let me see."
And you repeat, "no." And smile at her.

If she dishes you out. Good riddance. If she accepts your conditions, move on, date, have fun and tread the Facebook thing as a reward, not something you have to do.
 BLonde^J^AngeL
Joined: 6/16/2015
Msg: 35
She went on a date and spread it all over Facebook
Posted: 7/14/2015 8:57:30 AM

the way you or I manage friends is far different


OP, if the woman had an idea you had a crush & accepted a FB friend add & she posted that, clearly you were not a match for eachother.

Move forward, keep your romantic heart & find a woman who values your sensitivity rather than trashes it...
 rcp83
Joined: 6/17/2015
Msg: 36
She went on a date and spread it all over Facebook
Posted: 7/14/2015 9:30:02 AM
I know it was 3 days ago, I wrote that when I woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Yes, I was not thinking at the time. I'm better today. I took her off Facebook too. Another girl that I talk to on POF asked to add me on Facebook, but didn't want to. So maybe I made the right move.
 Eric_Summit
Joined: 11/3/2009
Msg: 37
She went on a date and spread it all over Facebook
Posted: 7/14/2015 9:48:36 AM

Posted by rcp83:
"...I'm better today. I took her off Facebook too..."

Good for you! You will feel better in the long-run, too. :-)
 SunshineGirl__
Joined: 10/7/2014
Msg: 38
She went on a date and spread it all over Facebook
Posted: 7/14/2015 11:39:39 AM

RCP83...your alternate path is to address the situation squarely, assertively, and clearly: etc. sample invitation.


Yes!

What good are you doing moping around like this? You thought you two would go on a date….well, how, exactly, did you think that was gonna happen?

So she went on a date. That’s what dating sites are for, yes? Did she say she was gonna marry the guy? Move in with him?

If you want to date her, ASK HER ON A DATE!

This much fabricated angst over nothing is ridiculous.


Another girl that I talk to on POF asked to add me on Facebook, but didn't want to. So maybe I made the right move.


Oy. The “right move” is to ASK HER ON A DATE! Simply avoiding facebook is not gonna get you a date. Do you wait for women to ask you out?
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 39
She went on a date and spread it all over Facebook
Posted: 7/14/2015 12:43:10 PM
fcp83- I did it too, ONCE. Thankfully, it's been ok.
Would I do that it again? NO!
You learned a lesson here, so DON'T do this again.
If you are on her facebook page and she is on yours, you have to stop it NOW!
Log on and go to your settings, find the link to block her and block her completely, by name.
Then she can't see your page, you won't see hers, nor can she get sneaky and have mutual friends stalk you and report back to her.
DO it and don't ever friend someone from a dating site again, I'm very lucky that my slip up didn't back fire on me too.
Like I said, lesson learned, for you too, I hope.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 40
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History
She went on a date and spread it all over Facebook
Posted: 7/14/2015 12:58:46 PM


stinky pinky in the backseat,
This is funny!!!

Stinky pinky in the backseat is the way of a POF warrior... lol.

I make mistakes and hear about it forever. Yes, I'm not perfect, but I do make mistakes. Posting about this was a big mistakes that got me a lot bad feedback.

Well, you made no real mistake in the Dating scene. Your mistake was being Surprised by what you saw. If a gal's wanting to add you to FB before even meeting -- she's not very cognizant of what she's doing and is likely going to step on other guys' toes if that's her forte. The "mistake" was being subject to Her very likely making a mistake to offend, is all. In the end though, who cares? It's something to learn, and that's all good.

If you instead told her "I like to be FB friends with people I meet, so if we start dating or become friends or something, sure, that's a possibility...," your results would have been the same. She'd still be shucking down her panties to get plowed by a guy named Greg who has a sweet truck, taking her out to fancy Chinese places. :) Your only "mistake" was misunderstanding expectations by being FB friends with someone you never met before, that's all. Live and learn! :)
 Peas_
Joined: 5/2/2015
Msg: 41
She went on a date and spread it all over Facebook
Posted: 7/14/2015 4:07:27 PM
FB is evil. I won't touch it.

Just seems so high schoolish to me.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 6/22/2012
Msg: 42
She went on a date and spread it all over Facebook
Posted: 7/16/2015 2:07:24 PM
It's smart to keep 'dating' categorized strictly as a real-world activity, and let people do what they want with the internet. What matters is time spent together, not time online. Big deal if they flirt with half the planet thru Facebook - if they have only one real Friday night available, and YOU are involved, then be grateful for the opportunity.
 LLove2LaughToo
Joined: 3/5/2011
Msg: 43
She went on a date and spread it all over Facebook
Posted: 7/16/2015 6:32:04 PM

Peas_:
FB is evil. I won't touch it. Just seems so high schoolish to me.


Facebook works great to stay in touch with family and friends, especially if they live overseas.
 Peas_
Joined: 5/2/2015
Msg: 44
She went on a date and spread it all over Facebook
Posted: 7/16/2015 7:04:30 PM


Facebook works great to stay in touch with family and friends, especially if they live overseas.

I understand that. ....if you don't have stalker ex in laws and a backwoods hick town full of meth head degenerates. Alas, Edward Snowden is my hero too.

Do you remember the concept, "6 Degrees"?
 rcp83
Joined: 6/17/2015
Msg: 45
She went on a date and spread it all over Facebook
Posted: 10/10/2015 6:13:37 PM
This was almost 3 months ago, and I'm reading the rest of the comments. I'm pretty shocked to see all this. I don't know what to see about the negative feedback to my thread. Maybe I was somewhat a little over-dramatic. I honestly don't even remember who I was talking about. Hopefully it comes back to me...
 NJgirl116
Joined: 7/3/2015
Msg: 46
She went on a date and spread it all over Facebook
Posted: 10/10/2015 6:23:10 PM
Lighten up OP. You get upset/offended easily. The girl in question, posters on POF...

It's Saturday night, turn off pof and go out for a few drinks!
 Meagan06825
Joined: 10/8/2015
Msg: 47
She went on a date and spread it all over Facebook
Posted: 10/13/2015 4:32:03 PM
I use FB for close friends and family.

Anyone who chooses the same would not have the drama associated with gossip.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 48
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History
She went on a date and spread it all over Facebook
Posted: 10/13/2015 7:17:06 PM
I use Facebook for friends and family only. Some people like to collect "friends" like notches on a bedpost. Kind of a pseudo popularity thing.
 NJgirl116
Joined: 7/3/2015
Msg: 49
She went on a date and spread it all over Facebook
Posted: 10/13/2015 7:34:26 PM
I don't use Facebook. If I want to say hi to a friend, I call them.
 TrvstInKarma
Joined: 9/1/2015
Msg: 50
She went on a date and spread it all over Facebook
Posted: 4/21/2016 6:44:27 AM
I don't use Facebook. If I want to say hi to a friend, I call them.

---

I'm glad to hear you say that, because the guy I'm currently dating doesn't have Facebook and when I looked at him like he had two heads, he said that he calls people that he knows. I'm still not sure if i should be worried about him not having Facebook. The few people that I know who either hid or quit their Facebook had stuff to hide and were pretty shady. I don't want to get too hung up on that detail with him though, because so far, his actions and words have been matching really well. I'm just so hypervigilant about being lied to again that I'm literally looking for red flags.
Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > She went on a date and spread it all over Facebook