Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > The board was much better with moderators      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 professora
Joined: 7/28/2008
Msg: 26
view profile
History
The board was much better with moderatorsPage 2 of 21    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21)
interetsing about match.

why are some forum posters with photos and others not?
 sealady111
Joined: 5/31/2015
Msg: 27
The board was much better with moderators
Posted: 7/19/2015 4:32:14 PM
I also had my posting ability limited by Miss Alison.

Whilst it was annoying these forums were controlled to be less insulting and anyone attacking others were quickly stopped.

Many people hide behind their computer and give themselves a sense of power and can type hateful vitriol with no consequences.
Even if there are consequences all they need do is create a new profile and start again.

It is a shame that some people live such sad lives.
They are all over the internet and be grateful they do not know your email or phone details.

This type of bullying has resulted in people, often children and teenagers and in some circumstances celebrities taking to to heart far too much with horrendous, real life consequences.

Bullies are everywhere.
 clooneystutor
Joined: 3/8/2015
Msg: 28
The board was much better with moderators
Posted: 7/19/2015 7:03:06 PM
Minus the obvious trolls, I don't think mods are necessary, EXCEPT to stop the insane amount of nuking that is occurring from anonymous individuals.

The current MIX of posters seems to keep each other in check and remain civil enough.

My 2 cents anyway...
 LLove2LaughToo
Joined: 3/5/2011
Msg: 29
The board was much better with moderators
Posted: 7/19/2015 7:23:15 PM

professora :
why are some forum posters with photos and others not?


It appears to be a site glitch. My forum avatar disappeared today after I uploaded a new picture to my profile.
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 30
view profile
History
The board was much better with moderators
Posted: 7/19/2015 7:59:34 PM
At least this forum has some resemblance of order. Want a taste of complete anarchy and chaos? Go take a gander at DH forums.

I never had the privilege of starting a new thread on here. Mine got nuked for whatever reasons unknown to me. Perhaps I reminded one of the forum moderators of someone they didn't like. I never lost any sleep over it.

I've been insulted on here before. Since I got a thorough shellacking of insults back in high school, any insults aimed at me, on here is bush league by comparison. Who would take anything seriously on here? One of the few comments I've read in here, that everyone seems to agree with, is this is not real life until you meet someone in person. I see no reason why we shouldn't apply that to anything we have read on here.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 31
view profile
History
The board was much better with moderators
Posted: 7/19/2015 10:54:54 PM
But one mod had posted, more than once, that mods had no power to remove anything, that they could only turn it in and that the higher up was the only person who could delete, restrict, ban, etc. He also said that people like me who never questioned the mods( sometimes nasty) little restriction notes, meant we knew we were guilty, so there. I don't ask mods questions or beg them for mercy, so I'm guilty, that's ridiculous. But it was things like that, where you didn't know why things were being done and couldn't get a straight answer that made a lot of the moderating here worse than the offenders. Then you read some other peoples comments about a mod who helped them, was friendly & personal with them, etc., and you know their personal feelings were heavily involved with who they restricted and who they didn't. You simply cannot have that type of behavior from a mod.
 dragonbytes
Joined: 12/25/2014
Msg: 32
The board was much better with moderators
Posted: 7/20/2015 5:13:08 AM
Igor???

Well. Had I been the god of the forums and seen that post, I wouldn't have banned you from posting, but I might well have deleted the thread and told you to find a more respectful way to express yourself about the subject.


This is my post that started the thread you say wasn't respectful enough..


Male (or female) fashion sense over 50

My wife thinks I look foolish with shirt tucked into my belt, she insits that it looks better to leave them outside. I think it looks better IF you are thin. But I don't think this is a bad look.

Another NO, NO, I often would wear white socks with my sandles, and when I lose weight I like to wear most T-shirts tucked inside of my pants.

Now I see plently of indications that wearing socks with sandles if a big no no. Actually, I only wear white gym socks all the time.

Unless I wear regular leather shoes. Which is rarely, like once a year, wear regular leather shoes since I don't work in an office, I see little need to wear them. Even if I wear a suit for some odd reason, I do have a pair of fancy blue gym shoes that goes with casual suits.

Are their any other fashion mistakes men or women make?

Shirts tucked or out, which is better?


What exactly was not respectful? I thought the subject was mundane and low key.

Igor, perhaps you are looking at other posters responses to this thread, your whole not respecful thing is confusing, can you explain?
 shirleywonton01
Joined: 4/30/2015
Msg: 33
The board was much better with moderators
Posted: 7/20/2015 3:01:39 PM
The mods here have all been inadequately qualified for the job and overworked. Most of them were are ego trips and if you kissed their azz you didn't get get banned much hence the cliques and cyber bullies. The forums are a ship set asail, I'm wondering if the new owners will it cut loose forever or shape it up.
 sviitmore
Joined: 7/11/2015
Msg: 34
The board was much better with moderators
Posted: 7/20/2015 3:36:14 PM
What are the "qualifications" for being a mod, other than being a fair and just person? how do you know they were on "ego" trips. Just how much ego tripping is there being a "moderator" of an internet forum?
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 35
view profile
History
The board was much better with moderators
Posted: 7/20/2015 3:45:12 PM


What exactly was not respectful? I thought the subject was mundane and low key.

Igor, perhaps you are looking at other posters responses to this thread, your whole not respecful thing is confusing, can you explain?


I apologize. I wasn't attentive enough. Your posted link didn't lead to YOUR original post, but to page three, and that led off with some very nasty stuff. I didn't notice that it was page three until you asked this. I have no criticism of your opening post.
 shirleywonton01
Joined: 4/30/2015
Msg: 36
The board was much better with moderators
Posted: 7/20/2015 4:01:16 PM

What are the "qualifications" for being a mod, other than being a fair and just person?


Does anyone think around here? Hmm....what kind of skills? Maybe some people skills? Background in human behavior perhaps? Or do you IT skills sums it all up? The few interactions I had with the previous mods was pathetic. One was a full on pervert and bully. The other was a classic computer geek.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 37
The board was much better with moderators
Posted: 7/20/2015 6:11:32 PM

What are the "qualifications" for being a mod, other than being a fair and just person?



Oh, I could give ya list, if I really wanted to sit down and make one.

You must remember every mod was "volunteer". With that, it is very hard to "limit" your volunteers with a list of qualifications. It does happen more and more nowadays though. Take, as an example, "coaches" of children. At one time, all you needed to do was actually show up. Not so much anymore. Why? There is much more to being a GOOD coach, then just showing up.

And there lie ins the biggest and toughest thing with "volunteers". You want em. You need em. But, they, as with everyone of us must be accountable, to someone. Dealing with people isn't as easy as some will like to make it. Not if you actually want to be effective and proficient at it. As in, what are you trying to achieve when you are acting as a mod? And how are you going to achieve what you want? At one time, just laying down the hammer worked. Not so much anymore. Here, or in the real world. You have to connect, and to connect with different personalities, is NOT an easy job.

"Fair and just".

What I think or believe to be "fair and just" is not what everyone else will think or believe. I give people "chances" but, they are not ever ending. I also can give people "breaks" but, that story gets old quick. How about "interpretation"? As in, have you ever read and tried to follow a "contract". The interpretation of a contract is all relative to who is reading it. It's the same with the rules here. All interpretation.

As I said, I could make up a list of qualifications for ya, but, I have no time or need for it.
 CrookCatcher
Joined: 7/14/2014
Msg: 38
The board was much better with moderators
Posted: 7/20/2015 6:21:07 PM

Does anyone think around here?


I'm beginning to think you misunderstood what that Dale Carnagie course was trying to teach you.
 07songsungblue
Joined: 7/10/2015
Msg: 39
The board was much better with moderators
Posted: 7/20/2015 6:23:20 PM
^^^. Crook, you kill me. Too funny.

And Walts, a good mod would wear crocks, drink whiskey, smoke em if ya got em and lighten the fvck up.
 sviitmore
Joined: 7/11/2015
Msg: 40
The board was much better with moderators
Posted: 7/20/2015 6:29:47 PM
Contracts can usually be written to say what they mean so long as they are written in English instead of complicated legaleze.. Of course many financial contracts, corporate, life insurance contracts, variable annuity contracts etc. are intentionally vague and difficult to undersatand by any but thosr paid to read and write that garbage. Afterall, who would buy those vehicles if they truly understood what they were buying.

Fair and just though it's an easy concept. It is a person who is reasonable and rational, who understands there are no hard and fast rules when it comes to moderators. All you need is some common sense and decency to do the job, as required by the circumstances. However as in here, when the moderators show favoritism or may be manipulated by those who are complaining, there is no question but that there can be problems
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 41
The board was much better with moderators
Posted: 7/20/2015 7:15:13 PM
Shirleywonton - you joined AFTER mods had left, not sure where you are getting your info.
I had no issues with a Moderated site.. but I like being about to " talk" and go a tad off topic.. which was a no/no before
I imagine being a Moderate here was akin to managing the Ball Room at IKEA.
Fair, btw, is where the pig wins a blue ribbon. Nothing In Life is fair
 somekinda_wonderful
Joined: 4/21/2012
Msg: 42
view profile
History
The board was much better with moderators
Posted: 7/24/2015 12:02:00 AM
This is the first time in a couple of months that I've spent any real time looking at the forums, and what a shmozzle it is. Maybe it's just luck of the draw but nearly every thread I pick up disintegrates into arguments and name calling ~ some of it is kinda humourous, but its getting tedious real fast. As someone who was here when there was mods and only popped in once in a while since, I can say unequivocally that this is a different forum. All this talk of factions and cliques is over the top, and what ever happened to the notion of not feeding the trolls... Before I cross that line of being sanctimonious ass I'm going to cast my vote that mod's are needed
 ThePigIsHereForEternity
Joined: 7/19/2015
Msg: 43
The board was much better with moderators
Posted: 7/24/2015 8:14:59 AM
No. No moderators. F*ck that. Having power is the allure for anyone to want to be a moderator. NOTHING else.

They don't own this site, nor do they get paid. So, there's really nothing left other than power. So, I don't have one morsel of gratitude or respect for any of them for them being a moderator. Especially after the bullshit I dealt with in Miss Allison.

There simply needs to be an "ignore user" button. That way, if you find yourself annoyed or upset by what you read, it's your own damn fault if you don't choose to use it. No one else's. There would be no need for banning, and no power hungry a$$hole to abuse their position.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 44
The board was much better with moderators
Posted: 7/24/2015 10:00:02 AM
Don't need a Ignore button - just like RT I simply don't pay attention a few . A real time ignore button would be kinda cool tho. Thank goodness we don't walk about with visible thought bubbles.
I feel we do good sans Mods. Plus before if it was seen as chatting the post was removed, and chatter usually was sent to ban camp.
 07songsungblue
Joined: 7/10/2015
Msg: 45
The board was much better with moderators
Posted: 7/24/2015 10:10:26 AM
"...invisible thought bubbles." I like that idea but my little thought bubbles would always say "WTF".

The idea to ignore is not a bad one either, I ignore the ones that write a novel and have to quote and respond to each friggin sentence with a reply. I've never in my life responded to each sentence a person speaks/writes in a paragraph.

I like it without the mods. Sometimes you learn more with the chat and back and forth banter. It actually gives me a better insight into someone's personality.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/18/2015
Msg: 46
The board was much better with moderators
Posted: 7/24/2015 10:26:44 AM
I think the idea of unpaid moderators doesn't work, because they post as
regular posters, make friendships and form alliances. It's kind of hard
to be fair and impartial under those circumstances.

I'm not sure what their motivation is either, if not an ego or power trip.
The argument could be made they are trying to make the forums civil,
but how can they do that if they're part of the problem?

I also like not having mods...and I agree...I like the chitter chatter back and
forth.

I have no problem ignoring people I don't like. I usually don't even read
their posts, unless they start a shytestorm and someone else responds...then
I might check them out.
 dragonbytes
Joined: 12/25/2014
Msg: 47
The board was much better with moderators
Posted: 7/24/2015 10:42:57 AM
It's more pleasant posting for me without MODS, I always felt I had to give too much thought into how others would react to mild criticism.

I wouldn't want an ignore button, it doesn't work well in a forum. When I had that available, I would have to often turn it off just to see what people were responding to0.

Cliques and attempts to get others banned happen with or without MODS. It's more difficult without MODS. With MODS cliques would attempt to bait others into an angry response then run to a MOD to complain. Creating a sock profile was a good way to do that.

No system is perfect, they just have different flaws and some are marginally better than others.

If they want to improve anything, make posting and editing more friendly.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 48
view profile
History
The board was much better with moderators
Posted: 7/24/2015 12:12:54 PM
I'm curious, how are anonymous individuals around here nuking people? Is there some special power these people have that the rest of us don't?
 dragonbytes
Joined: 12/25/2014
Msg: 49
The board was much better with moderators
Posted: 7/24/2015 12:25:49 PM
I believe we all have this power.

If we report a profile for abuse, which includes forum abuse, and X number report it, then the profile will get deleted. X is reputed to be 15.

However, if the report is arbitrary then your own profile is subject to being deleted. They warn you not to use this for silly disputes.
 kj521
Joined: 8/8/2012
Msg: 50
The board was much better with moderators
Posted: 7/24/2015 1:03:01 PM
Both ways have their upsides but neither way is without its' own downsides.

I, personally, preferred the forums when their were moderators.
Or perhaps, it is that era of innocence that I long for. The one that I remember with such fondness that it clouds the empty forums of today....sigh!

Ok...for those of you who don't know me...the above line was just for dramatic effect! :)


But one thing I did want to say...since many of you have such negative things to say about the moderators...I'd like to add something positive.

I have known two of them but neither when they were moderators....Cowboy and Miss Allison. And I found that they were/are very human....with thoughts, feelings, emotions and yes, imperfections...

And I am so very glad I got to know them both when their only role was that of my friend. :)
Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > The board was much better with moderators