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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Men happier married vs Women happier single - according to research      Home login  
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 IL_Capitano
Joined: 11/23/2012
Msg: 26
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Men happier married vs Women happier single - according to researchPage 2 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)

il capitano- ok, I KNOW you are being sarcastic with the post about alone time in a relationship.
Actually, I agree with you on this one.
Unless BOTH people like to be in each others pockets, time away from each other is a good thing.


THE VAST MAJORITY OF me says....

.... Cheers!

 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 27
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Men happier married vs Women happier single - according to research
Posted: 7/21/2015 6:56:45 PM
" form long-term relationships, just never live together. "

That would be my idea of heaven on earth.
This from someone who had a good marriage. Just goes to show how some of us feel differently about marriage at different stages of our lives.
 newoldgirl
Joined: 4/16/2015
Msg: 28
Men happier married vs Women happier single - according to research
Posted: 7/21/2015 7:22:23 PM

THE VAST MAJORITY OF men are stupid


Oh, come on now Cap, that can't be true! Surely some of them must be capable of independent thought, even if there is no woman around to tell him he's wrong! LOL

I'm teasing you! LOL
 Peas_
Joined: 5/2/2015
Msg: 29
Men happier married vs Women happier single - according to research
Posted: 7/21/2015 7:24:27 PM

However, the most common complaint I hear from dissatisfied women is having more than their fair share of responsibility's in the household.
This becomes especially pronounced once a couple has children.
Given that both people have to work these days to make ends meet, many woman find themselves having to come home from work and do most of the housework.


I agree. No doubt why men like being married more.
 ezfred
Joined: 6/20/2015
Msg: 30
Men happier married vs Women happier single - according to research
Posted: 7/21/2015 7:36:45 PM

THE VAST MAJORITY OF men are stupid


Oh, come on now Cap, that can't be true! Surely some of them must be capable of independent thought, even if there is no woman around to tell him he's wrong! LOL

I'm teasing you! LOL


If a man, in a forest, voices an opinion and there are no women there to hear it .... is he still wrong.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 31
Men happier married vs Women happier single - according to research
Posted: 7/21/2015 7:53:51 PM
maybe women get told that marriage is a wonderful thing, the whole princess met her prince thing, and they find...not a thing about them changed.

its interesting that the men are satisfied, apparently with no connection to their partners' happiness. It would be real interesting to do this again a decade from now, when lesbian marriage is common. Will women continue to be unsatisfied with their partners if their partners are female? then the issue might be marriage, not the man.

I grew up in a small town. its a place some people move to, and enjoy escaping the BS of a city, and having a yard. Others never left a small town, b/c they had no drive to make it big in the big city.

children can be a diversion. how many new parents stop having date nights, focusing on the new offspring instead. I've known a few marriages that had to go to counseling and learn it was time to dump the kid on the grandparents and have a night together again.
 Peas_
Joined: 5/2/2015
Msg: 32
Men happier married vs Women happier single - according to research
Posted: 7/21/2015 8:00:01 PM
A little birdy told me this tonight:

Do you know why Mayberry on the Andy Griffith show was such a peaceful town? Because no one was married, except for the drunk, Otis.
 MaleFeasance
Joined: 3/13/2015
Msg: 33
Men happier married vs Women happier single - according to research
Posted: 7/21/2015 8:26:45 PM
Will women continue to be unsatisfied with their partners if their partners are female? then the issue might be marriage, not the man.
------------------------------

http://micheleomara.com/lesbian-relationship-satisfaction/
 MaleFeasance
Joined: 3/13/2015
Msg: 34
Men happier married vs Women happier single - according to research
Posted: 7/21/2015 8:32:31 PM
The number ONE thing I hear married women complain about ( assuming no abuse or cheating) is UNFAIR division of labour in the home.
----------------------
That could easily be solved if it was really a problem. Do less.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 35
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Men happier married vs Women happier single - according to research
Posted: 7/21/2015 8:47:04 PM

MaleFeasance
The number ONE thing I hear married women complain about ( assuming no abuse or cheating) is UNFAIR division of labour in the home.
----------------------
That could easily be solved if it was really a problem. Do less.

Interesting. I read a study, maybe two years ago, on this subject. They interviewed a rather large number of married couples. Some of those couples had what women describe as the “perfect marriage”, the husband did his fair bit of the housework. Cooking, cleaning, minding the kids, whatever. The women were all very happy with their marriage. And very unhappy with their sex lives.

The couples who had more traditional roles – the women did more of the cooking and cleaning, the men took care of the yard work, and fixing the plumbing, and the car, etc. – the women were not as happy with the marriage, but were more happy with their sex lives.

I also read that some researchers were claiming that the findings were flawed, for one reason or another.

I don’t know, myself, but it makes sense to me that a woman would actually be happier with a man than with a housemaid. YMMV.

And on the subject of small towns - I grew up in a small town. And I have now lived in a large city for most of my adult life. There are advantages to each. I will say this – I think you are much less likely to have your spouse cheat on you in a small town. We know that a lot of cheating does take place. And everytime the subject comes up, everyone here in the forums is lily white, totally without fault. (smile) Someone is doing a lot of cheating, just not anyone who has ever been here in the forums.
 NJgirl116
Joined: 7/3/2015
Msg: 36
Men happier married vs Women happier single - according to research
Posted: 7/21/2015 9:01:17 PM

Do you agree with the 'research'?

No idea what men are happy or unhappy with. I'm happy enough being single. I cook and clean for myself and make my own money, what's there not to be happy about? :-)
 Eric_Summit
Joined: 11/3/2009
Msg: 37
Men happier married vs Women happier single - according to research
Posted: 7/21/2015 9:10:16 PM
Being single certainly has its allure. Very easy and remarkably hassle-free, for starters.
When a couple is truly crazy about each other...that can only be described as just magical.
 clooneystutor
Joined: 3/8/2015
Msg: 38
Men happier married vs Women happier single - according to research
Posted: 7/21/2015 9:13:00 PM
Every time I've felt magic, cash was never an issue :)
 ThatGirlNamedAlli
Joined: 12/28/2013
Msg: 39
Men happier married vs Women happier single - according to research
Posted: 7/21/2015 9:13:51 PM


Most women I know prefer singledom to a bad relationship but all would adore to have a good relationship with a good man.


I definitely agree with that. My mom had 3 marriages and she'd be concerned and asked me a few times if her failed marriages had skewed and deterred me. I said to her "no mom, your experienced there taught me what I will not put up with and what I don't want".
I mean, I know what a-holes my dad and stepfather and the third guy were to her....and the first two were equally so to me.


I cook and clean for myself and make my own money, what's there not to be happy about? :-)


I also agree with NJ. I like that my mess is my mess. I'm responsible for myself and myself only.

But I do for sure know that I would love to have a partner to be around all the time. I'm ready for that. I wasn't before, but I am now.
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 40
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Men happier married vs Women happier single - according to research
Posted: 7/21/2015 9:17:04 PM
I do believe that most of the bases have been covered. Yes, people are social animals. That is, the extroverted ones are. Ask an introvert that, and they may tell you that large doses of people are annoying, and they would rather go do their own thing.

I was one of those "Awful men", that insisted that everything didn't need to be changed every five years. No, I didn't do my share of the household chores. I was too busy keeping the lights on, making sure the house didn't fall down around us, kept the family buses in a safe, moving condition. Beat back the jungle, kept the furnace stoked, made sure all the various household machinery do what it was supposed to. How odd that my better half was never around to give me a helping hand doing those "unimportant" tasks.

I was much happier being married. I so loved being griped at. Eating diet menus for months on end, because I was at my ideal weight before the diet started. Getting woke up three to six times a night because my S.O. snored like the Three Stooges- all at once. Going to social events that I hated. Having all of my spare time pre-planned. Finding out my money was spent without my input. Always being wrong.

Oh YES! I am SO miserable being single. That's why I'm avidly pursuing no women, and my upside-down frown gets bigger every day.

Why is it these idiot researchers aren't asking me for my two cents worth?
 newoldgirl
Joined: 4/16/2015
Msg: 41
Men happier married vs Women happier single - according to research
Posted: 7/21/2015 9:31:35 PM

The number ONE thing I hear married women complain about ( assuming no abuse or cheating) is UNFAIR division of labour in the home.
----------------------
That could easily be solved if it was really a problem. Do less.


Just because something isn't a problem for you, doesn't mean it isn't "really" a problem.

Your solution only works if you assume :

1) if partner A does less housework and/or childcare partner B will pick up the slack.

2) partner A will be okay with messy house, uncooked meals, and unsupervised children IF partner B does not pick up slack.
 Tarnished_Knight
Joined: 3/5/2009
Msg: 42
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Men happier married vs Women happier single - according to research
Posted: 7/21/2015 9:50:18 PM
Oh, Henryx,

An article in the NYT magazine, http://nyti.ms/1kd0zQR, dated 2/6/2014, by Lori Gottlieb, "Does a More Equal Marriage Mean Less Sex?" looks at the very issue you raised. In egalitarian relationships/marriages where division of labor was roughly 50/50 there was indeed less physical intimacy. The supposition being that the men were seen, unconsciously, as less masculine and that undermined the whole male - female dynamics.

I found it to be an interesting article. It was also rather spot on in my own particular marriage: I, being the stay at home for the duration, after x number of years the romantic/intimate aspects (both physical and non) tailed off into nothingness. Even though we were still on the same page in terms of compatibility across most topics it was clear son's mom did not see me as desirable. Whether it was me or something within her that caused the attitude - unclear.

Anyway personally, I like being coupled. I think it gives meaning to life, satisfaction to most days, and were it not for the fact that son's mom saw me only as "friend" material I would still be married. I think.

TK
 Literate_Hiker
Joined: 1/1/2015
Msg: 43
Men happier married vs Women happier single - according to research
Posted: 7/21/2015 10:34:36 PM

Humans are social beings, and most are much happier when with someone they feel cares deeply about them.

Bingo.

I never felt as lonely as I did in my marriage. "People from Eastern Washington seem surprised when I say we're living in a desert," I wrote in my journal in 1988. Can living things, including me, survive here? I wondered. Now I see I've also been living in a desert of touch."
 NJgirl116
Joined: 7/3/2015
Msg: 44
Men happier married vs Women happier single - according to research
Posted: 7/21/2015 10:38:49 PM

I also agree with NJ. I like that my mess is my mess. I'm responsible for myself and myself only.
But I do for sure know that I would love to have a partner to be around all the time. I'm ready for that. I wasn't before, but I am now.


Exactly! My life! My time! My choices! My mess!

I think that unfortunately watching my mother's trainwreck of a relationship for the past 20 years has done a number on me. They are now older and past the stage when he was yelling, screaming and cursing in the house. But she's still not allowed to go anywhere without him, including with me. Last fall, on the anniversary of my grandma's death, we went to church for a memorial service. He didn't go to church with us but he followed us in his car, sat in his car outside the church (it was a long service), then followed us back. I got pissed and tried to lose him, I went to the bookstore because my mother wanted a certain book. I couldn't lose him! He followed us and told my mother "don't you play with me."

More recently, it was "sweetheart, pass me the butter knife please." Here." "No, I need a bigger butter knife." "They're all the same size though." "No, I know there is a bigger butter knife!" She takes them all out and lays in front of him.

Ugh... anyhow... I don't need a "big brother watching" in my life. And that's how I've now learned to view relationships. :-(
 MaleFeasance
Joined: 3/13/2015
Msg: 45
Men happier married vs Women happier single - according to research
Posted: 7/21/2015 10:38:57 PM
Just because something isn't a problem for you, doesn't mean it isn't "really" a problem.
------------------
Just because something is a problem for you, doesn't mean it really is a problem.

Not doing something that he doesn't think needs to be done is not the same thing as him not doing his fair share. Before you can complain about someone not doing his fair share, you first have to agree on what needs to be done. Otherwise, "fair share" is meaningless.
 VolkanoKing
Joined: 8/1/2014
Msg: 46
Men happier married vs Women happier single - according to research
Posted: 7/21/2015 11:03:01 PM
I have heard that overall, men are happier than women when it comes to marriage, and that the number one complaint is that men don't do their fair share of housework. I guess women are expected to work all day, then come home and deal with the kids, get dinner and all the other minutiae that maintaining a household demands.

I don't have any answers..I'm not a fan of marriage for myself, been there, done that. I don't want to be responsible for anyone other than myself, I have ZERO interest in squabbles over the division of labor, enduring annoying friends coming over, etc Worst of all, Star Wars toys sitting around. :D

In "real life", I know quite a few men who have actively pursued relationships and marriage, and really LIKE being married and WANTED very much to get married. They didn't get dragged into it and got busy reproducing and buying homes.

Yes, some got burned, tossed out close to the age of 50, all their money stolen, personal property robbed and are back renting a room like they were 19, credit ruined. Hey, it happens.

Personally, and it is VERY hard to see this with vision unclouded by my own personal bias, but I cant IMAGINE a man wanting to get married in California. You are gambling with the very foundation of your financial life. I know a guy who is only 30 and when he got separated last year his wife cleaned out the savings and ran with it, feeling entirely justified. He currently is sleeping on a relative's couch. Sickening.

I dont know. I guess I dont understand men wanting to trade the peaceful bachelor existence for compromise, domestic hassles and in particular, sex with just one person..I thought that went against everything men stood for.

But hey! I guess the women ends up doing all the housework so...maybe not so bad a deal..although be careful..that maid may end up costing you about 50,000 or so in the end.. :)
 Cycling99
Joined: 12/14/2014
Msg: 47
Men happier married vs Women happier single - according to research
Posted: 7/22/2015 12:18:00 AM
I like being single and living in peace and quiet. I would appreciate a relationship. Age, ethnicity make no difference to me. However finding someone intelligence, active, healthy and athletic is easier said than done.

Some women say they are intelligent but have nothing that shows it.

The most common kind of women you find at my age are smokers, overweight, uneducated, divorced several times, with children from more than one person, that call themselves "single" when they are still married to husband number whateva... With excuses for all their poor decision making...

So, I disagree with the research! Quality over quantity: just need to find one!
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 48
Men happier married vs Women happier single - according to research
Posted: 7/22/2015 7:50:33 AM
Whenever I hear any whining about husbands not doing at least 50% of the housework, my first thought is: How and why did these women agree to marry Mr. Slobbasorras? Did these women go to the local homeless shelter, pick out the best looking homeless man, point at him and say: "You. Come with me. We'll stop at the quickie wedding shack and get hitched on the way back to my place, which will be your new home."

I'm assuming most dating couples would spend time at each others place during courtship. If a woman goes to a guy's place, and he has his dirty underwear hanging on lampshades, wet clothes hanging on the blades of the ceiling fan, his other clothes all over the floor, two inches of dust on the furniture, and the woman is Miss Prim and Proper with everything put away in it's proper place and spotless, why would she agree to any co-habitation situation? Does the woman think that after saying "I do" at the altar or moving in together, the slob of a guy will suddenly put on a French maid's outfit, and spend all day, everyday cleaning and cooking?
 clooneystutor
Joined: 3/8/2015
Msg: 49
Men happier married vs Women happier single - according to research
Posted: 7/22/2015 8:19:07 AM


The most common kind of women you find at my age are smokers, overweight, uneducated, divorced several times, with children from more than one person, that call themselves "single" when they are still married to husband number whateva...


Another forever single that was never chosen by someone.

The mantra is always the same.

It's not you, it's THEM...
 Whistle_Stop
Joined: 4/9/2015
Msg: 50
Men happier married vs Women happier single - according to research
Posted: 7/22/2015 8:32:30 AM
Question....Are women happier single than men...being married?
Tough question...what does the survey say again?
Are there stats?
Because at any given time, I would or could answer that question different.

I have loved being married and I hated being married too.
A lot of it had to do with the partner...of course.
Same goes for being single....some days it's great...others not so much.
I'm glad I had a good experience of being married and there was no bickering of who did what?
It was just easy....
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