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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Men happier married vs Women happier single - according to research      Home login  
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 JoeBnD
Joined: 3/23/2012
Msg: 151
Men happier married vs Women happier single - according to researchPage 7 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
Maybe the married men are healthier because of all the extra work/chores the wife makes them do.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 152
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Men happier married vs Women happier single - according to research
Posted: 10/22/2015 1:36:47 PM
I would think it would all depend on if you wanted to be married, if you were married to someone you are glad you married, and if you tend to be a bitter person or someone who lets it go and moves on. Some people are not happy people, and their relationships with others are not happy, you can't make someone be happy if they insist on being a big gray cloud. It's the waiting for the other shoe to drop syndrome, the type of personality that expects bad things to happen, because one time (or more) it did happen. Not everyone views life that way.

I don't think it has to do with gender, it has to do with personality type and the inability or the ability to let things go. I could sit down and write you a list of a sad, painful life, but why, what good would that do me, shit happens, you either move on or carry it around like some sort of horrendous prize from hell. Besides, as many awful things I could tell you that happened to me, millions of people could line up and tell you things that make my life look like a wonderful fairy tale. There isn't anything wrong with marriage, it's the people who treat it badly who mess it up, and sometimes an innocent person gets harmed. There are worse things, much worst things in life that can happen.

Who's happier in marriages, those who took the time to find the right person to spend their life with.
 BBEisBack
Joined: 9/16/2015
Msg: 153
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Men happier married vs Women happier single - according to research
Posted: 10/22/2015 3:05:21 PM

Most married men I know are miserable. They always advise their single male friends not to get married and have children.


There are a whole lot of People, who aren't happy, unless they have something to Complain about. If they weren't B!tching about their Wife or Kids, then they'd be Complaining about something else in Their Lives. It's the Grass is Always Greener on the Other Side of the Fence, Syndrome.....
 sealady111
Joined: 5/31/2015
Msg: 154
Men happier married vs Women happier single - according to research
Posted: 10/22/2015 3:13:19 PM
I was deleriously happy when married, when my marriage was good.
I am happier single than in a bad relationship.
Would love to have a good, loving relationship.

I know deleriously happy married couples who adore each other.




There are sad, bitter and negative people everywhere.
Just look on here.
 IL_Capitano
Joined: 11/23/2012
Msg: 155
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Men happier married vs Women happier single - according to research
Posted: 10/22/2015 7:04:29 PM

Most married men I know are miserable. They always advise their single male friends not to get married and have children. They had a poll that said that 70% of men 18 to 48 are single. I think that number will just keep going up.


I wouldn't say that every guy I know is miserable, but every married or living-with-female guy I know isn't happy with having to live with the " my way or the highway" attitude of their female SO's.

I have no idea why they put up with the shit except that they love their SO's.

I think the reason men are happier married while women are happier single is that women are so busy looking for reasons to be pissed off that their SO is the closest target for the unhappiness while men still love their wives despite the wife's flaws.

It's simply the ol' "When momma's happy, everyone is happy" thing. It's a fvcked up thing, but it's the way most families and marriages work.

I tell my sons never to marry or live with a woman because of this shit. They likely won't listen, but they will learn the truth of it eventually....

 Looking_4_her_still
Joined: 8/2/2015
Msg: 156
Men happier married vs Women happier single - according to research
Posted: 10/23/2015 4:54:17 PM
Men feel "complete" in marriage. Many married men cant function without their wife. Marriage status is culturally driven, supposed to increase social stability. While growin up boys are inculcated that achieving marriage is an important goal, and makes a man out of them. Usually men fall in love at first sight and start thinking about how much the wedding will set him back, the new home, will she get fat, etc.
Similar with young women, marry a man of means, have kids, raise family, etc. culturally driven.
After divorce everything changes. If a guy is lucky not having to pay alimony ( more common than not now a days) he sure as hell does not want to risk his lively hood on a marriage contract. Lady told me her ex pays spousal support (alimony but not called that because not allowed in this state) her health insurance, and car allowance. This renders him still married to her in the things that matter.
So, OP, get you a guy who never married and rich. good luck
 LexiInMDR
Joined: 8/25/2015
Msg: 157
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Men happier married vs Women happier single - according to research
Posted: 10/23/2015 6:38:24 PM
Heh, maybe there should be discount life size female dolls for boys who turn 18. Then they wouldn't have to pester us for sex. It's a win-win!
 UZEASY
Joined: 8/3/2015
Msg: 158
Men happier married vs Women happier single - according to research
Posted: 10/24/2015 12:36:49 AM
Marriage is that sweet whoever eats it regret it and whoever don't eat it regrets it lol.

Over all, I have noticed mostly people prefer being single these days. Regardless of gender.
I personal prefer being single. Cause I can take care of myself easily.

It was very difficult initially but practice makes things perfect and I have learn to love mother nature. My last relationship has left very unpleasent thoughts in my heads that continued to surface. I feel more comfortable being single than being in relationship. May be that's why I have no luck over pof or any other dating sites.

Life only moves in one direction i.e. forward. Just live it find something to do engage yourself in work and get busy. It helps a lot.
 NJgirl116
Joined: 7/3/2015
Msg: 159
Men happier married vs Women happier single - according to research
Posted: 10/24/2015 1:09:01 AM
I agree with the poster who said the statement is true for people over 35. Because under 35 all life is nonstop drama. Then you calm down and focus on what makes you comfortable. I'm now being pursued by a man who is happily married for many years, is from a traditional community, married since a young age and has 5 kids. Something tells me he is perfectly happy. He wants to add to his happiness by enjoying a little variety on the side... and I think he actually likes me, has a crush like a boy... needless to say I'm staying away from him.

Me? I don't have anybody, and I'm not pursuing anybody. Life is SIMPLE alone, my money is mine, my time is mine, I'm not stressed out, I'm not worried. I read Daddy Jinx's rant in the other thread about he won't pay for a woman's meal, open her door, etc. and my eyes just went bling bling. So why would I get involved with you? You're not bringing any of those sweet protected cared for feelings into my life, so tell me what value do you add to my life, other than me now having to cook for you, clean for you, you restraining my activities and you buzzing in my ear all day? That you will be sticking something between my legs sometimes? Meh.
 Meagan06825
Joined: 10/8/2015
Msg: 160
Men happier married vs Women happier single - according to research
Posted: 10/24/2015 5:37:41 AM
Even though it is almost 2016, women tend to be the ones who are more "domestic" and studies have shown that married women do way more domestic chores than their male partners. That being said, married men may state they are happier because overall, their daily living activities are being structured by their female partner.

A divorced or widowed male has to fend for himself and would miss the cooking and cleaning, etc.

A divorced woman like myself is happy not to have to pick up after a slob, do his laundry, cook and clean up the mess AFTER PUTTING IN A 40+ HOUR WORK WEEK. LET'S FACTOR IN CHILD REARING TOO.

I am deliriously happy I chose to have only one child and proud of her and her achievements, but relieved that I finally have so much freedom on my hands.

I am NOT about to give that up for booty call when I can get that without having to be his chef, cleaning lady, nanny and social worker.
 crookcatcher
Joined: 9/1/2015
Msg: 161
Men happier married vs Women happier single - according to research
Posted: 10/24/2015 6:02:08 AM

A divorced woman like myself is happy not to have to pick up after a slob, do his laundry, cook and clean up the mess AFTER PUTTING IN A 40+ HOUR WORK WEEK. LET'S FACTOR IN CHILD REARING TOO.


Sounds like YOU made a great choice in a mate. :/
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 162
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Men happier married vs Women happier single - according to research
Posted: 10/24/2015 8:08:09 AM


Meagan06825
I am NOT about to give that up for booty call when I can get that without having to be his chef, cleaning lady, nanny and social worker.



You know, someone wrote a song about that exact subject. And I don't think I could express it any better than this:




I don't want you, cook my bread
I don't want you, make my bed
I don't want your money, too
I just wanna make love to you

I don't want you, be no slave
I don't want you, work all day
I don't want you to be sad and blue
I just wanna make love to you

I can tell by the way that you baby talk
I can see by the way that you switch and walk
I can tell by the way that you treat your man
But I could love you, baby, it's a cryin' shame

I don't want you, wash my clothes
I don't want you, keep a home
I don't want you to be true
I just wanna make love to you

I don't want you, be no slave
I don't want you, work all day
I don't want you to be true
I just wanna make love to you
 2ufo
Joined: 2/28/2015
Msg: 163
Men happier married vs Women happier single - according to research
Posted: 10/24/2015 9:55:06 AM
Crookcatcher ...

Sounds like YOU made a great choice in a mate. :/


Statistically, studies show that when a man and woman get married, his hourly non-paying work (i.e. domestic chores) goes down by an hour per week while a woman's hourly non-paying work (i.e. domestic chores) goes up by about seven hours per week.

So, it's not her choice in a mate but the norm in the US for marriages.
And, that's before children.

Is it any wonder that so many woman aren't crazy about going into a subsequent marriage?

Personally, I believe that a second marriage after the age of 35 or so would NOT be as unequal in the domestic chores.

https://www.nsf.gov/discoveries/disc_summ.jsp?cntn_id=111458
 Whatsamatterbaby
Joined: 5/6/2015
Msg: 164
Men happier married vs Women happier single - according to research
Posted: 10/24/2015 10:02:27 AM
"My life is changing
In so many ways
I don't know who
To trust anymore
There's a shadow running
Thru my days
Like a beggar going
From door to door.

I was thinking that
Maybe I'd get a maid
Find a place nearby
For her to stay.
Just someone
To keep my house clean,
Fix my meals and go away.

A maid. A man needs a maid.
A maid.

It's hard to make that change
When life and love
Turns strange.
And old.

To give a love,
You gotta live a love.
To live a love,
You gotta be "part of"
When will I see you again?

A while ago somewhere
I don't know when
I was watching
A movie with a friend.
I fell in love with the actress.
She was playing a part
That I could understand.

A maid. A man needs a maid.
A maid.

When will I see you again?"

~ Neil Young
 SunKist_Gal
Joined: 9/7/2015
Msg: 165
Men happier married vs Women happier single - according to research
Posted: 10/24/2015 1:05:24 PM
I can believe the statement....
In my next life....it would be great to come back as a man. If I had the ability to remember my life as a woman...I would make some very special woman...very happy.
It's really not all that difficult if you pay attention and care about anothers feelings, as much if not more than yours.
Women have come full circle and being the natural care givers...they are realizing they want something back or we are happy to remain single.....let me clarify....some.....some...
I had a great husband...we considered each other thoughts and feelings and life was great and without drama, doubts and turmoil.
Few people figure it out....imo.
 IL_Capitano
Joined: 11/23/2012
Msg: 166
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Men happier married vs Women happier single - according to research
Posted: 10/24/2015 2:39:09 PM

divorced woman like myself is happy not to have to pick up after a slob, do his laundry, cook and clean up the mess AFTER PUTTING IN A 40+ HOUR WORK WEEK. LET'S FACTOR IN CHILD REARING TOO.


Well, this is a clear example of why so many women are unhappier in marriage. Rather than tell their husbands to do their own laundry and pick up after themselves, women create their own unhappiness. Women love to impose their schedule on their men and get pissed off when the men would rather do things on their own schedule.


Even though it is almost 2016, women tend to be the ones who are more "domestic" and studies have shown that married women do way more domestic chores than their male partners.


Well, studies also show that men tend to work more hours every week outside the home and bring more money home because of it. Many women complain about this too but have no problem controlling the spending of 80% of the family income as other studies have shown.


That being said, married men may state they are happier because overall, their daily living activities are being structured by their female partner.


I'm immeasurably more happy not having a woman "structuring" my life in any way shape or form. I hated having my wife tell me how I was going to spend every weekend or any leisure time. I know a lot of married guys who also resent having their lives arranged by "The Boss" as many men refer to their SO's.

 Whatsamatterbaby
Joined: 5/6/2015
Msg: 167
Men happier married vs Women happier single - according to research
Posted: 10/24/2015 2:42:40 PM
^ Did I tell you to speak?
 IL_Capitano
Joined: 11/23/2012
Msg: 168
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Men happier married vs Women happier single - according to research
Posted: 10/24/2015 3:01:27 PM

^ Did I tell you to speak?


Ooopsss...

Sorry, Honey.... I thought you were still out with your girlfriends spending our... erm... your money on more knick-knacks and lunch....

.... I've almost got the appy ready for the dinner at John and Mary's later. I'm really looking forward to meeting all of your work friends rather than staying home to watch the hockey and football games....

Did you find that pair of shoes you were looking for? I know you've been looking to round out the collection to an even 200 pairs...

Kids are good and I painted the living room after I did the laundry, changed the oil in the mini-van, and I'm just getting ready to put the kid's birthday cake in the oven.... oh, and I think I've sold the sailboat and motorcycle you hated so much...

Love and kisses....

 Whatsamatterbaby
Joined: 5/6/2015
Msg: 169
Men happier married vs Women happier single - according to research
Posted: 10/24/2015 4:05:38 PM
^ Sweetums: Lack of boundaries is not gender specific. I had one controlling boyfriend, when I was 18. He even tried to bully me into marrying him. Since then I've only had relationships with men with healthy boundaries. See how easy it is? :)
 IL_Capitano
Joined: 11/23/2012
Msg: 170
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Men happier married vs Women happier single - according to research
Posted: 10/24/2015 4:19:47 PM

^ Sweetums: Lack of boundaries is not gender specific. I had one controlling boyfriend, when I was 18. He even tried to bully me into marrying him. Since then I've only had relationships with men with healthy boundaries. See how easy it is? :)


Oh, sheesh, we're being serious again. Whoops....

I know the boundaries are not gender specific.

My point is and has always been that women are often their own worst enemies in relationships and do things that create their own unhappiness. Most men I know may not like having to do the things their wives demand, but do those things anyway because they actually DO, believe it or not, LOVE their wives and are willing to do whatever will make them, the wives, happy.

The unfortunate thing is that most men I know, know that no matter how hard they try, they can never quite do enough to maintain their wives happiness. The harder they try, the worse it seems to get, so that they just give up. They feel fvcked if they do and fvcked if they don't.

I know it's very popular to believe that men are the only reason relationships fall apart, but there ARE two people involved in any relationship. It just never seems to be acknowledged that the man in a relationship may not be wrong when there is an issue.

 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 171
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Men happier married vs Women happier single - according to research
Posted: 10/24/2015 4:29:18 PM
I've seen a few references to women doing more of the domestic chores in a relationship. (Married or living together) When I was married, I did my part. However, more than a few times, I didn't perform it to her satisfaction. Or I didn't do it right. I was more than willing to help out, but if the effort isn't appreciated, then why bother to do it? Could it be that some women shoot themselves in the foot, for asking that chores be done, only to complain later on about the way it was done?
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 172
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Men happier married vs Women happier single - according to research
Posted: 10/24/2015 5:33:44 PM

I guess you didn't read the part that said women were more interested in long term relationships as opposed to marriage

That's the part that makes me less likely to believe any of the supposed research done on this. For example, I've never heard of any (straight) guy starting off a conversation with something like, 'we have to talk. I want to know where this relationship is going'. Nor could I imagine it happening. Nor has any article ever been published about women being afraid to commit or anything remotely about that subject. As opposed to, well the obvious reverse scenario.
As far as the satisfaction issue, women in general tend to be dissatisfied with a lot of things. I refer you to the 'husband store' and 'wife store' jokes, which, while sad, do generally reflect reality when faced with what men and what women want out of their mate, here:

A store that sells new husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates.

You may visit the store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch: you may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband...

On each floor the signs on the doors read:

Floor 1 - These men have jobs.

Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love kids.

Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking. "Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead good looking and help with the housework. "Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!" Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak. She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 3,261,496,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.


THE WIFE STORE

Floor 1 - has wives that love sex.

Floor 2 - has wives that love sex and have money.

The third through sixth floors have never been visited.


 2ufo
Joined: 2/28/2015
Msg: 173
Men happier married vs Women happier single - according to research
Posted: 10/24/2015 7:07:53 PM
Purple...
I appreciate your efforts and the efforts of any man who volunteers to do his part of domestic chores.
I will say it now.

Thank you.

I suspect you're all waiting for a"But you men need to..."

It isn't coming.
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 174
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Men happier married vs Women happier single - according to research
Posted: 10/24/2015 8:09:08 PM
^^^^ You're welcome. Since I have only one prior experience with living with a woman, I've only heard the various complaints from others. Some are more meticulous. Others just don't give a rap, as long as they don't have to do it. I just know what sort of flack I got.
 BLonde^J^AngeL
Joined: 10/13/2015
Msg: 175
Men happier married vs Women happier single - according to research
Posted: 10/25/2015 7:36:08 AM
A man who contributes & makes an effort is a prince in my book. A man who sits on the recliner & makes demands & treats his spouse like a slave is a pauper. And vice versa.

I think it is generational too. Men my age & older, in general have been raised a certain way. The younger ones have a different experience.

I have no issue w/ cooking & cleaning, etc. but he has to contribute some skill set too. Now that children are not involved, it is a whole other ballgame.

Child-rearing is not conducive to romance in general (IMO) unless there are many support people around (family, reliable baby sitters, cleaning lady, nanny, etc.)
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