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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Men happier married vs Women happier single - according to research      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 BLonde^J^AngeL
Joined: 10/13/2015
Msg: 176
Men happier married vs Women happier single - according to researchPage 8 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)

Women have come full circle and being the natural care givers...they are realizing they want something back or we are happy to remain single.....let me clarify....some.....some...


bazinga!
 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 177
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Men happier married vs Women happier single - according to research
Posted: 10/25/2015 7:47:53 AM
Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be.

While I subscribe wholeheartedly to the view of the world expressed in this Abraham Lincoln quote, it is true that some situations are much more conducive to happiness than others.

I was very unhappy being married to my first husband. I then was much happier, though still pretty unhappy, being divorced from him. Many years later, when I started on the road to recovery, I was struggling to find happiness being single and stopped looking for a relationship until I was more grounded in myself as a single person.

When I started dating after that, it did it less with the intention of being coupled for the sake of being coupled, and more with the goal of finding somebody very compatible to share my life with.

I do believe that it's much easier to be happy alone than with an incompatible person.

I am amazed at the fit I have found in my husband. Things are very organic, and our cohabitation is very easy and drama free. We naturally share chores (I cook and do the laundry, he does the dishes and cleans), and hire out the ones neither one of us has time for (yard work). He's a great companion, and we have a lot of fun in everyday life as well as when we go out.

That said, the compromises inherent in living with another person do complicate life, but, in my opinion, it this more than compensated for by the joys of being with this man, who is delightful.
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 178
Men happier married vs Women happier single - according to research
Posted: 10/25/2015 7:54:33 AM

A divorced or widowed male has to fend for himself and would miss the cooking and cleaning, etc.


The year is 2016 and maybe you would be surprised at the women I meet that actually "hate" being in the kitchen.

And with the statement above I would assume, you assume, most men are mental midgets and don't know how to turn the oven on, or how to actually wash a floor, or turn a vacuum on ? May I suggest you are meeting the wrong kinda "man"?

I've been cooking/baking since I was about 10 years old. I thank my parents for that, and the 7 other children they had after my Mom gave birth to me. And yes, household chores were also part of our training. It was a big house.

It wasn't the domestic duties that my ex did/didn't do that made me "happier" when we were together.


Yes, it was the sex.


The kinda sex that could get you thrown in jail for a very long time.


She was very good at that.
 Brisco414
Joined: 4/16/2015
Msg: 179
Men happier married vs Women happier single - according to research
Posted: 10/25/2015 7:55:04 AM
Platypus ...The husband/wife store -- thanks for the laugh this morning. Hysterical.
 ClooneysTutor
Joined: 10/14/2015
Msg: 180
Men happier married vs Women happier single - according to research
Posted: 10/25/2015 9:01:44 AM
I've got a rice cooker and crock pot.

Eggs. Some sandwich food too.

I can do laundry.

Haven't figured out how to sew a button yet though:(
 saltydog02
Joined: 10/11/2015
Msg: 181
Men happier married vs Women happier single - according to research
Posted: 10/25/2015 9:12:22 AM
Many of us have been happily fending for ourselves for some time and are more than capable. I find it insulting that some women think we need someone to "babysit" us. Times have changed and more than a few men have found that they don't need a woman anymore than a fish needs a bicycle. Looks like we all gained freedom to do as we wish.
 SunKist_Gal
Joined: 9/7/2015
Msg: 182
Men happier married vs Women happier single - according to research
Posted: 10/25/2015 9:36:30 AM

Looks like we all gained freedom to do as we wish.

Exactly! Isn't it great?
I think, the few men that still have issues with women now having "options" are stuck in the old thought patterns.

She was very good at that.

Lol...I have walked away from great sex.....he didn't offer much else the rest of the time...
 ClooneysTutor
Joined: 10/14/2015
Msg: 183
Men happier married vs Women happier single - according to research
Posted: 10/25/2015 11:00:13 AM
^^^
What did he do for a living?

Landscaping?

Wedge fund manager?
 Strings6
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 184
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Men happier married vs Women happier single - according to research
Posted: 10/25/2015 2:25:34 PM
Women can have all the "options" they wish,who but the most insecure and incompetent of men cares.....there is only one thing a woman can do for me that I cannot do for myself....well,at least with the most desirable results.
 2ufo
Joined: 2/28/2015
Msg: 185
Men happier married vs Women happier single - according to research
Posted: 10/25/2015 3:56:32 PM
Strings

.....there is only one thing a woman can do for me that I cannot do for myself....well,at least with the most desirable results.


Scratch that spot in the middle of your back that you just never can quite reach?
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 186
Men happier married vs Women happier single - according to research
Posted: 11/5/2015 2:24:57 PM
LiliMarleen-(post#186) I swear, it's like you got into my thoughts with this post.
EXACTLY how I'm feeling, right now.
Happy being single, but still hoping for that love/compatibility combination.
What a WONDERFUL post. :) :) :)
You are both blessed.
 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 187
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Men happier married vs Women happier single - according to research
Posted: 11/5/2015 2:29:26 PM
^^^^^^

Thank you!

We are, and very grateful.

We both worked on ourselves before meeting. The timing was good. But we also know that the work will never be done.

I have high hopes for you and your positive outlook, Bamagirl. :)
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 188
Men happier married vs Women happier single - according to research
Posted: 11/5/2015 2:35:37 PM
LiliMarleen- Thank you! :)
It's who I always was, coming back, really.
My friends and family see it, I feel it.
It's a good feeling.
I'm smiling in my pictures again, REALLY smiling. :)
 CynthiaSM
Joined: 3/29/2014
Msg: 189
Men happier married vs Women happier single - according to research
Posted: 11/6/2015 3:28:55 PM
My experience across men I have discussed relationships with I'd guesstimate a little more than half prefer to be unmarried and in a monogamous but not too serious relationship. In other words, they're glad to have one woman they can do things with (including sex) but maintain their own home and think of themselves as independent. These men do not want to marry or cohabitate.

A little less than half the men I've discussed relationships with would prefer to be in a committed relationship, cohabitating and possibly married. They want the emotional je ne sais quoi that comes from being interdependent with a mate, a significant other, another person who cares deeply enough to compromise.

For myself, I am not happier single. I take care of myself rather well, am independent on all fronts - mental, emotional, psychological, and financial. I am not moping around because I'm single and certainly not desperate to be attached. But I sure would like to be. I was married 23 years and though they were not all happy years, I know that I am happier sharing my life. I would like to be married again. One. Last. Time. The older I get, though, the less confident I am that it will ever happen. Folks like lilimarleen and the professor give me hope.
 ClooneysTutor
Joined: 10/14/2015
Msg: 190
Men happier married vs Women happier single - according to research
Posted: 11/6/2015 4:27:34 PM
I have room in my heart for 1 more trip down the red carpet, but only 1.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 191
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Men happier married vs Women happier single - according to research
Posted: 11/11/2015 2:37:36 PM

Walts
It wasn't the domestic duties that my ex did/didn't do that made me "happier" when we were together.


Yes, it was the sex.


The kinda sex that could get you thrown in jail for a very long time.


She was very good at that.

+1
What could anyone possibly add to that? As Betty White would say, “I got nothin’”


Brisco414
Platypus ...The husband/wife store -- thanks for the laugh this morning. Hysterical.

Yes, a very old, very funny story. If you have a sense of humor that is tickled by that story, you might want to try “laddertheory.com”. Definitely not everyone’s cup of tea, but with the right sense of humor …


ClooneysTutor
I can do laundry.

Haven't figured out how to sew a button yet though:(

Nah, that’s an easy one. But I never bother. The laundry down the street does shirts for 99 cents, and they will replace missing buttons for no extra charge.

CynthiaSM
My experience across men I have discussed relationships with I'd guesstimate a little more than half prefer to be unmarried and in a monogamous but not too serious relationship. In other words, they're glad to have one woman they can do things with (including sex) but maintain their own home and think of themselves as independent. These men do not want to marry or cohabitate.

A little less than half the men I've discussed relationships with would prefer to be in a committed relationship, cohabitating and possibly married. They want the emotional je ne sais quoi that comes from being interdependent with a mate, a significant other, another person who cares deeply enough to compromise.

I would probably fall somewhere in between those two. Depending on my mood at the particular moment you asked. But many of the single men I know, in my age bracket, have zero intention of ever getting married or even having a SO. Either be alone, or just date with nothing more intended.
 CynthiaSM
Joined: 3/29/2014
Msg: 192
Men happier married vs Women happier single - according to research
Posted: 11/11/2015 4:52:33 PM


CynthiaSM
My experience across men I have discussed relationships with I'd guesstimate a little more than half prefer to be unmarried and in a monogamous but not too serious relationship. In other words, they're glad to have one woman they can do things with (including sex) but maintain their own home and think of themselves as independent. These men do not want to marry or cohabitate.

A little less than half the men I've discussed relationships with would prefer to be in a committed relationship, cohabitating and possibly married. They want the emotional je ne sais quoi that comes from being interdependent with a mate, a significant other, another person who cares deeply enough to compromise.

OHenry
I would probably fall somewhere in between those two. Depending on my mood at the particular moment you asked. But many of the single men I know, in my age bracket, have zero intention of ever getting married or even having a SO. Either be alone, or just date with nothing more intended.

Fair enough. I was relaying empirical results and I'm not likely to have a conversation about relationship desires with a man who doesn't want to have at least a monogamous relationship with a woman. Only exception is a man that I used to work closely with when we were both married so when we talked about personal stuff it was mainly about how unhappy our marriages were. We got together for dinner once last year after I'd been divorced for 10 years, he for about 8 years. Not only had he 'let himself go' but he was so far into the swinger lifestyle that he'd remodeled his house and yard to host swinger parties! I told him orgies were no longer my thing and we parted friends. He might fit into your category "zero intention of ever getting married or even having a SO. Either be alone, or just date with nothing more intended." but he's sooooo far an outlier that I didn't include him in my initial post.

You want his address and party schedule?
 MentalGiant58
Joined: 11/6/2015
Msg: 193
Men happier married vs Women happier single - according to research
Posted: 11/11/2015 7:48:45 PM


Not only had he 'let himself go' but he was so far into the swinger lifestyle that he'd remodeled his house and yard to host swinger parties!


Damn. I can't fathom an orgy of folks that have let themselves go.

I hope the venue has copious amounts of wine and...dimmer switches.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 194
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Men happier married vs Women happier single - according to research
Posted: 11/12/2015 7:55:44 AM

CynthiaSM
I was relaying empirical results and I'm not likely to have a conversation about relationship desires with a man who doesn't want to have at least a monogamous relationship with a woman.

I get into interesting conversations with a real variety of people. As everyone here knows by now, I am a member (active member) of a Meetup group for over 50 singles. We had a really large Halloween party this year, about 70 people attended. Late that night, after most of the attendees had gone home, there were about 10 of us sitting around and talking. The subject of would we ever get remarried, would we even be interested in doing so, came up. People will tell you the damndest things if you are willing to listen.



Not only had he 'let himself go' but he was so far into the swinger lifestyle that he'd remodeled his house and yard to host swinger parties! I told him orgies were no longer my thing and we parted friends. He might fit into your category "zero intention of ever getting married or even having a SO. Either be alone, or just date with nothing more intended." but he's sooooo far an outlier that I didn't include him in my initial post.

You want his address and party schedule?

No, thanks. My category (me personally) is not “zero intention of ever getting married or even having a SO”. I am a bit of a romantic, actually, and I would like to one day have a SO. In the meantime, yes, I am a bit of a hedonist, and I do engage in some out of the ordinary sex practices. Usually limited to a maximum of 4 people, though.

I remember once talking to a lady through the message feature here on POF. I had read her profile, here on POF, fairly standard stuff: looking for LTR, no ONS, etc, etc. But I had seen the exact same pictures over on AFF, obviously the same woman. And the profile there was looking for some serious fun.

So I messaged her, asking politely what the story was. She replied, and we had an interesting conversation. (See my previous comment, above, about how people will tell you the damndest things if you are only willing to actually listen.)

Basically, her position was, put up a profile on POF and OK*Cupid and Match, looking for a serious long term relationship. And, in the meantime, have as much fun as one person could stand. People can be looking for different things at the same time, I know I am.

And, oh, by the way, that woman was also a regular here on the forums. Gone now, like most of the interesting people from years gone by.
 MentalGiant58
Joined: 11/6/2015
Msg: 195
Men happier married vs Women happier single - according to research
Posted: 11/12/2015 8:03:00 AM
Go see the movie St. Vincent.

Describes the single male experience after 60.
 CarefreeBeauty
Joined: 5/30/2014
Msg: 196
Men happier married vs Women happier single - according to research
Posted: 11/12/2015 8:30:56 AM

Go see the movie St. Vincent.

Describes the single male experience after 60.


An excellent movie starring Bill Murray and Melissa McCarthy.

Bill's character was actually not single until towards the end of the movie when his wife, who was in a nursing home suffering from dementia, finally died. Before that he would go once a week to see her. Bring little gifts, pretend he was her doctor, make her laugh, etc. Even as she had no recollection of him being her husband. It was quite touching.

Probably not the typical 'sixty year old single male experience'~

Maybe you are referring to his sloppy housekeeping and generally slovenly living habits? haha
 dragonbytes
Joined: 9/15/2015
Msg: 197
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Men happier married vs Women happier single - according to research
Posted: 1/13/2016 8:56:59 AM

If a guy was single for his whole life and recently got married, then kicks the bucket , a check mark would go in the "Married man died" column, even though he could've been single for 90% of his life. If a guy was married for decades, then gets a divorce, and then kicks the bucket. a check mark on the chart would go in the "Single man died" column, and the same for single women who were married for the majority of their adult life. Does this "survey" (use the term loosely) include people who died of unrelated causes, such as car accident, industrial accident, victims of war and crime, disease, etc?


Length of marriage is a postive factor, as well living together can increase a man's health, although not as much.

http://www.health.harvard.edu/newsletter_article/marriage-and-mens-health

Men happier married vs Women happier single - according to research
 perspektiv
Joined: 7/28/2016
Msg: 198
Men happier married vs Women happier single - according to research
Posted: 10/29/2016 5:15:09 PM
I don't think the "research" factors in highly important data.

I.E Are they loners, at heart?
Introverts?
Highly independent, and self-sufficient.

Those are all things, that will cause someone to be just as happy single, as they would be in a relationship (just to name a few things).

I was taught to cook, do laundry, sew, and do many things attributed to skills that are the norm in some societies, for a woman to have. I've never needed a woman to "take care of me".

I find men who can't do any of the above, wind up feeling "lost" without a woman. Kind of like a woman, who hasn't been taught basic home improvement skills, feeling lost without a man.

The data, as a result, has likely covered only one type of guy and one type of woman, with regards to learned social behaviors.
 Whatsamattababy
Joined: 5/3/2016
Msg: 199
Men happier married vs Women happier single - according to research
Posted: 10/30/2016 2:22:54 PM

I don't think the "research" factors in highly important data.

I.E Are they loners, at heart?
Introverts?
Highly independent, and self-sufficient


Not sure how the "happier" research is done, but married men live longer than single men, and single women live longer than married women. It would be pretty hard to dispute this because there was no subject pool to select - it would have been based on the entire population, via vital statistics. (Well, based on the entire population of dead people.)
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 200
Men happier married vs Women happier single - according to research
Posted: 10/30/2016 3:01:45 PM
Would a happy clown live longer than an angry clown?
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